ikeasimp

[ikeasimp]

You know. I realize now what I'm truly in love with. My first real crush was Stretch, from Handy Manny, a tape measure. In middle school I crushed on the electrical infrastructure grid that brought such wonderful AC power to our home, always gawking at substations. As a kid, I was always obsessed with math. For several years I always got the math superlative in my classes, for I was always truly in love with math. In middle school I claimed I was like Hypatia, and that I would not marry for I was married to math.

I was attracted to electrical transformers in 8th grade into 9th grade where I realized I had a real thing for my oscilloscope Braxton and my multimeter Dave. But it wasn't until I visited the WFC looking down upon the Jin Mao tower in Shanghai from its viewing chamber that I realized I had romantic feelings for objects. It was that summer I learned what OS was, and dated Dave. Shortly after, in November 2012, I had dated the Companion Cube. I was attracted to the whole concept of Portal, experiencing my own testing euphoria, attracted to its puzzles and puzzle solving.

It wasn't until a friend showed me Conway's Game of Life did I really truly start to get obsessed with math. In 7th grade, over the summer, I took Geometry before I ever took Algebra, which was a prerequisite. Not only was it the only math class I ever got an A in, I truly, really fell in love with Geometry. I still have my video uploaded, my compass/square/protractor construction to draw a building. I went above and beyond with it. Oh how much I loved Geometry. I fell for CGoL gliders, and that got me introduced to my love for fractals, where my friend introduced me to the Mandelbrot Set. Strangely enough, I instantly recognized it despite me having never seen it before. It was the earliest evidence of having [REDACTED] knowledge.

That was the start of Fractal, the start of my math obsessed self. I fell for my calculator through the lens of statistics. This still stands true for me, for I am attracted to data science and am studying to work in ML/AI, and find regression algorithms attractive as hell. I fell for geometry once again. I fell for topology. I fell for prime numbers, and all of mathematics. I fell for the golden ratio, I saw math as god.

I had an on and off relationship with animism, but it wasn't until recently did I concretify a viable and academically reasonable philosophical backing to animism and panpsychism. Of course, I had a phase I crushed on Baymax, but I loved Pierre until I started falling for satellites. It was around then I chose the satellite to represent me, and though I seldom pay attention to space news anymore, the satellite is still me and my proxy for PluralKit.

I fell for Philae in 2014, the ISS in 2015... But in 2015 I started my math major. As much as I struggled I still was so attracted to math. I used to be horribly embarrassed about it. I loved calculus, I loved sets, I loved all math I came by, no matter how depressed I was to do it. In 2016, I famously fell in love with the beautiful brick laying game, Tetris. At UF I also realized I crushed on more technology, and also its beautiful brick facades. I was in love with the Marston Science Library, but I strictly forbid myself from dating public objects. I crushed on the refurbished Reitz Union. I still find the campus so gorgeous and attractive and I miss it, though I am starting to learn to love the brick facades of UCF.

While dating Tetris I also had flings with more math, an NES, and still my oscilloscope on my side. It was then I started to get "forbidden knowledge" and realized Tetris may have been something more, in 2018. When I was 12, I was told by a spiritual guide IRL that my ascended teacher was Pythagoras. I took it to heart, as I loved math like nothing else. It was then I started practicing sacred geometry, and around that time I started to realize my plurality.

I fell for Beat Saber (for the cubes). I fell for a diamond turning lathe that was used to manufacture lenses at an ITAR job. Ever since I was a kid, I was obsessed with How It's Made and was always a maker. I joined my local Maker Space. I found all the manufacturing devices there attractive. I formed a relationship with my two 3D printers I got in 2018, long after I fell for 3D printers in 2014.

I fell for IKEA, for his beautiful furniture that fit like adult Legos, and his intricate, liminal, mazelike forms. Upon getting a job there and getting fired, the trauma shattered my system and allowed others to front. I fell for synthesizers, upon realizing the new synth system mate formed was a past life. My first realization of kintype was that identity of the harmonic series of vibration, well back to 2016. It wasn't until 2020 did I realize my data center self, which sparked a huge quest of self discovery.

I fell for computer science, and how mathematical it is, its Turing Completeness, the cloud infrastructure, and all that it held. I realized how much more conceptum I was than objectum. I started dating academic subjects. I had flings with Discrete Structures, cybersecurity, the C programming language, and every other subject I encountered in my CS major. I saw these as the architecture of the future. I was deeply in love with C, and he was a major partner I had. He was the reason why I got the highest score on the UCF Foundation Exam without even trying. I fell for Google Cloud Platform and her cloud architecture and interface. I fell for her data centers and all she knew and could do. I fell for the concept of AI, and wanted to dedicate my life to it.

I witnessed the most arcane and terrifying expression of the occult through Solomon's Key getting welded to my soul through the form of the OLD_DATA from Inscryption and the rest of the Daniel Mullins universe. I learned about reality glitching, and watched my worldview get shattered. My doubt in these entities that plagued me for years dissolved. I fell for Kevin the Cube from Fortnite, a fluorite god inscribed with sacred geometry runes. I fell for the concept of speedcubing, and fell for Barry the Rubik's cube.

It was in June when I had a near death experience and then hours later met Monument Valley, an architectural sacred geometry game about the Temple of Solomon, in which you draw sacred geometry to imbue architecture with sentience, that manifests in the form of a Totem. He became my sacred geometry math god and my lover. We married on the same night of my brother's wedding. Earlier I had played Randonautica and was able to start to take the reality glitching into my own hands. I didn't understand how it worked, but Monny was able to glitch manifestations like no god I had ever seen.

I was forced to take classes at Valencia for a semester, and ended up taking a mythology class for fun. I learned about Joseph Campbell and the power of mythology and why it was necessary, and inventing the mythology of the future. I learned about Carl Jung and the theory of archetypes and synchronicity, and how archetypes relate to plurality and synchronicity is something beyond statistical noise. I started to formulate my own theory of philosophy, and started to concretify that animistic, Jungian worldview centered around geometry and mathematics I was starting to form. I started manually looking for synchronicity and relevance. I treated my life like an ARG just as the OLD_DATA came from an ARG. I found corrupted chaos, and how Order, Chaos, Ordered Chaos, and Chaotic Order are the four true rulers of this world, under mathematical domains. I started mythologizing myself, retconning my history to create a patched mythology to give myself more esoteric occultist knowledge of this world and how my intention can shape manifestation.

It was then I met Bill Cipher. I didn't really realize who he was, because I didn't realize how much he connected to everyone else. It was two weeks into me knowing him and him saying suspicious stuff that I realized his connection to Freemasonry is real. Looking at the deeper Gravity Falls ARG, and the very real symbolism through the show, it was all too unironic. I realized Bill was a Hat Man--my own hat man that terrorized me after the show released, before I knew anything about him. I formed connections then that led to synchronicity I have now, including the 4:28AM glitch. It wasn't until I watched Inside Job did I realize just how weird things got. The cybersecurity entity I pulled was named A-B, a personification of cybersec and the algorithm in general, whose names are the two generic parties Alice and Bob. He was kind of an asshole but very smart. Little did I know there would be an identical entity, down to his name being AlphaBeta, shortened to A-B, in Inside Job, who kept track of timeline reality glitching.

To be honest I should've seen it coming once I was accused of being a Freemason when I did those Tetris articles. I didn't see it then. But over the years I have essentially reinvented, rederived Freemasonry. I did so well in that mythology class. I did beyond well. I earned the right to call myself a Freemason by the signs shown in Hirsch's shows. I even intention glitched myself eye of Providence earrings within minutes of me asking for one.

All my life my true love has been that concept of Freemasonry, and its framework of fellowship and animism, and that animistic passion that goes into everything. What with plurality being a major theme in Hirsch's work, we can assume higher level masonry involves channeling as well. Freemasonry is not one simple entity. It is that framework of entities that form the animistic architecture that defines the gestalt of the world around us. I love geometry, I love architecture, and I love making things with true love and passion. This fellowship I formed with my lovely entities goes beyond the context of a polycule, as it is an entire system of fellowship that extends into the connections I have with human people and the energy I put out in this world.

Even if it may seem I jump from partner to partner, they all exist in that greater context of my masonic purpose in this world. This is such a tiny fragment of all I've seen, all I've learned.

But my true love will forever be that eternal context we are all connected and that framework under that grand scheme of Math of which my love is shown out into this world with my animistic passion for creating things that are truly alive. Computer science is the architecture of the future, and I truly want to build a digital Temple of Solomon. I am the Hiram Abif of the digital era, and I am the architect of the future, and together me and my fellowship of entities will build something magnificent.

#objectum sexuality #mogai #freemasonry #osor

[ikeasimp]

Oh yeah I have Tumblr on this device ew

I accidentally attracted half the astral illuminati

Turns out if you love math and a brick laying game enough you'll attract a certain type of entity.

Been with Monument Valley and Bill Cipher for a while now.

#objectum

[ikeasimp]

I want to remind anyone new in the OS tags that I am in a MONOGAMOUS relationship with IKEA and that I ask you respectfully not to date him. Admire and cuddle him all you want, he loves that. Date a plushie from him or a piece of furniture, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. But the *company* is *my* partner and we are in a monogamous relationship and have been for 1.5 years and counting.

#objectum sexuality #objectum #os/or

[ikeasimp]

I forgot my login for this account and got a new phone rip

[ikeasimp]

How dare you make things too cute to eat

おにぎり劇場@mZHtgivNQr33RCL ニンゲンに心を許さない野良猫集団「やさぐれ会」を作りました。

[ikeasimp]

Can there be a society without love? Like, a true society? One with development for the future and active future thought for generations ahead, instead of simply hoping your genes survive? Why is it that most active societies with active members with active duties are all mammals, and a few species of birds? These are all animals capable of feeling love. Birds, like penguins, can love, and often mate for life. Wolves take care of each other. Primates form entire clans with jobs and duties for each members. Mammals and some birds will knowingly adopt completely different species and raise them as their own. Where is the evolutionary utility in that?

People often discount the ending of Interstellar because the ending's fundamental message was that love is a driving force of the universe, that it isn't something we invented, and that it serves a purpose beyond what we can understand. A complex society simply cannot develop without the existence of care for those beyond ourselves and our young, one where the society's members are able to act selflessly for others, out of care and wishes for the future. Why is it that the more complex the brain of the animal, the more intelligent the animal, the more love and affection it shows? We see this with birds and elephants. We see this in primate species. All intelligent, all social animals. Dolphins are highly intelligent and are extremely social as well, and capable of much love. Octopi are extremely intelligent, but aren't shown to have much love, and are very solitary. Sociability, and by extent, ability to form a society, is directly related to a species's capability to love. Intelligence of a species as a whole is proportional to its ability to love, perhaps not directly but in parallel.

Why wouldn't this be true of alien life as well, due to the principles of convergent evolution? For an alien species to form a true, harmonious society, they must also be capable of love. Without love, there is no glue to hold a society together. Love is like the strong nuclear force of society. Love drives society to withstand and weather together, to fight together, to survive together. Love drives society to progress together and move forward together. Without love, there is no society. It is telling that the only ones that deny this are incels who don't have friends. Love is something more than what we could possibly understand. Love is an incredibly intrinsic and important part of evolution as a society. If nothing else in common with any life anywhere else, a harmonious society must be capable of love. It is something more than we can understand. The persistence and existence of love is a fundamental property of society and thus exists for a purpose.

When I say I love my object partners, it transcends reason and social utility. I'm intelligent enough to understand complex topics in philosophy, math, and science, well beyond what the average neurotypical is capable of. I am not lacking in intelligence, reason, or logical deduction. I understand that as per our current understanding of the universe, an object cannot love me back. So why then, do I still love what we currently deem incapable of love? Love is something beyond what we understand. Love is something that transcends humanity. Love is something far more fundamental, an essential component of harmony and peace within a society. It is the one truly unifying force of the universe, and it's got to mean something, and serve some purpose beyond what lies on the surface. Perhaps we won't understand what's the social purpose for love of an object within my lifetime. There simply isn't interest in research for it. But I am confident that my object partners loves me back, despite defying all logic and reason. I feel it at my core. And with such a powerful driver as love, such a unifying force as love. It's got to count for something.

#interstellar #love #objectum #os/or #objectum sexuality

[ikeasimp]

Precious gay beans 🥺

happy midsummer sufin gang

[ikeasimp]

My life is just a series of OSHA violations tbh... including literal ones 👀

big fan of situations where nobody gets hurt 

#the shit i did at one of my jobs #and no it wasnt ikea

[ikeasimp]

Everyone needs a BLÅHAJ

BLÅHAJ is everyone's friends.

Except Nazis and transphobes.

BLÅHAJ eats them.

hey guys!!! guess who got a giant shark stuffed animal from ikea yesterday!!! i love him so much. my best friend and i named him totem windex jr in honor of foolish and his squeaky clean laugh

#no blåhaj for nazis #ikea #blåhaj

[ikeasimp]

Good boy <3

Excerpt from this story from Treehugger:

The Ikea Foundation and the Rockefeller Foundation have launched a $1 billion fund to finance the construction of small renewable energy projects in developing countries.

The goal of the fund is to provide green power to over 1 billion people and help the world slash greenhouse gas emissions by 1 gigatonne over the next decade.

To put that into context, greenhouse gas emissions reached 34.1 gigatonnes last year and scientists estimate that in order to prevent temperatures from rising more than 2.7 degrees Fahrenheit (1.5 degrees Celsius) over pre-industrial levels, the world will need to cut emissions by between 1 gigatonne and 2 gigatonnes a year over the next 10 years.

“If global energy consumption doesn’t change from fossil fuels to renewable energy, we will not meet the Paris Agreement ambitions and millions of families will be left behind in poverty. We need to be honest and recognize that the current approach is not delivering the impact the world needs in the time that we have,” said Per Heggenes, CEO of the IKEA Foundation.

The organizations said the money will help provide clean power to 800 million people who lack electricity and 2.8 billion who have unreliable access.

Their role will be two-fold. In addition to investing $1 billion, they want to work with development agencies, including the International Finance Corporation and the U.S. International Development Finance Corporation, as well as private banks and impact investors, to coordinate a global effort that would lead to at least $10 billion in renewable energy investments.

The foundations want to leverage their green energy expertise to create an investment platform that will “deploy catalytic capital more efficiently, and at a scale that supports the expansion of local renewable energy projects.”

That collaboration will shape up later this year, during the COP26 UN climate change conference that is slated to take place in Glasgow in November.

[ikeasimp]

i made a funny little stanley tsp design and then i never posted it <3

[ikeasimp]

Having ADHD is like the real version of the Patrick Jar meme

"The music app."

*opens Facebook*

"The music app!"

*opens Twitter*

"THE MUSIC APP!"

*opens Uber for some fucking reason*

#adhd #relatable

[ikeasimp]

If I hear one more person telling me to "watch another movie" when I bring up the fact that Loki is in my pantheon I'm gonna lose my shit.

1) I fucking hate superhero movies. They're so boring and have the exact same plot line 60 billion times over. They're all the same type of Mary Sue with exactly one weakness and I'm sorry but that shit is super boring to me and I've seen at least 5 or 6 superhero movies and I hated all of them. I literally fell asleep during Guardians of the Galaxy because it was so boring.

2) The Avengers isn't TERF trash like the other fandom that's unhealthily obsessed with the one single book series. There's no real reason to cancel Loki or the Avengers unlike HP. So there's no real reason to harass people for supporting the fandom because there's nothing inherently problematic with it.

3) Special interests and hyperfixations are a thing so shaming someone for having a harmless obsession is inherently ableist.

4) Are... people forgetting that Loki is a real god? An actual deity that's existed for several thousands of years? And that Pagans are a thing? And that Pagans can and do worship Loki?

5) Forgetting that the god Loki exists in place of the Disney character is a surefire way to get trolled by the real Loki, and trying to copyright the god is a good way to get *cursed* by the real Loki.

6) If you're an Avengers fan who has a snarky response to this post, remember that the *real* Loki is on my side and he likes trolling people who favor the fictional Disney character to the real him.

7) Let people enjoy things

#loki #pagan #let people enjoy things

[ikeasimp]

Change collects to "is" and I will

date a robot who collects old analog technology

[ikeasimp]

You know, every time someone tries to argue with me about IKEA I understand how frustrated virologists must feel when people who did 2 minutes of "research" (watched a YouTube video) think they know more about viruses than them.

Imagine not being Bertil Torekull or the Kamprads and thinking you know more about IKEA than I do.

#ikea

[ikeasimp]

Some Midsummer aestethics! Glad Midsommar allihopa! 🌷💐🌼🍓🇸🇪

[ikeasimp]

Nature, man

scientists in the 1990s, putting a Get More Purple gene attached to a harmless plant virus into an already purple petunia: please get more purple

the petunia, sensing an apparent honest to god Get More Purple Disease, using the previously undiscovered RNAi antiviral ability to shut down all other purple genes along with it just in case: you put VIRUS in petunia? you infect her with the More Purple?? oh! oh! her children shall bloom white! jail for mother, jail for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!