in-my-time

[in-my-time]

20-01-2017 | Sacrifices

Happy New Year!

To start the year off on my blog, I thought I’d post something a little different. 

A new semester has started at university and one of my courses this semester happens to be World Mythology. I guess I have always had this fascination with mythology and all things other worldly, the heroes and the villains, and the monsters and the monster slayers. So when one of our assignments was to write our very own myth, I was as happy as a clam. (I don’t even know why a clam is so happy and who decided that every person’s goal in life is to be as happy as a clam, but you get the gist. I was REALLY excited) 

So here it goes, this is the short story I submitted as my myth! Enjoy! 

- 

To the tribe of Kari a boy was born, he had eyes as blue as the ocean and hair as golden as the sun. He was neither short nor tall, not handsome or hideous. On his hands he had 10 fingers, and his feet 10 toes. He had nothing more and nothing less than any other boy in the tribe. His tribe lived amidst the wild animals in the forest and many believed that the Karis were animals themselves, in human form. After the boy’s birth, days turned to nights and months turned into years. When one day on the boys 18th birthday, a rumble was heard. A rumble that shook the earth’s core and snapped the trees in half. The Karis knew that it was time again. Just like it is every 20 years. It was time for the monster to feed, it was time for the sacrifice. The tribe believed in the existence of a beast. One with the six eyes as red as fire and eight arms like an octopus. Stories were told about the cruelty of the beast around the camp fire. The Kari’s used the shadows to tell of a hero, seen in a prophecy, that will move the earth, the waters, the heavens, and the wild. A Hero who will slay the monster, their savior. The beast, Karoon, was believed to live across the river, in the deepest cave in the mountains never to be seen except when it's time to feed. Every 20 years, the tribe would sacrifice five people, in addition to the harvest of that same year. This time, the chosen were two warriors and three of the weakest members of the tribe. They were dragged away and tied to the trees by the river. The same river that acts as a border between them and Karoon’s cave. Amongst the sacrifices, sat a boy, with eyes as blue as the ocean and hair as golden as the sun. His name was Ryder.

 When the sun had set, and the moon was high; The sacrifices shuddered in fear. Although their hearts were filled with bravery and pride, their bodies shook to the core. As the hours passed by, they heard the rumbles getting closer, and with every thunderous roar, Ryder’s fear waivered and his courage set in. His mind would not stop thinking of ways to change the outcome of his story. He thought of a hundred and one ways to escape with his life and all seemed impossible. Where would he run to? What would happen to his tribe, his family? Karoon will find him, it will never stop until it finds him.

 Ryder looked at the others. Next to him sat a man, whom he knew as Wolf. Across from him, three women from the same womb, identical in features and years. Their names were, Meadow, Avon and Sky. They had a solemn look upon their faces, as if they have already accepted their fate and were quite contempt with it. Infact, Wolf, although scared, was glowing with joy at being one of the chosen ones. They were all willing to rejoice in what is to happen to them, except for Ryder. His mind raced with questions that had no answers. He searched his surrounding hoping to find something, anything that will help him escape his fate. To his right, he found nothing but twigs and mud. To his left, he found a small rock, almost buried in the ground.

 The gods are smiling down on me, Ryder thought.

 Tied to the tree behind him, Ryder’s arms rested on either side of him. He bent his knees to reach the rock and clamped it with his feet. He began to kick the rock backwards towards him, and after a struggle his attempts succeeded and he was able to hold the rock and start rubbing it against the rope on his chest.

 “What are you doing, brother?” Wolf asked. “Are you rejecting an honor given to you by the tribe?”

“I am rejecting my death and running for my life, if only this rock would work fast enough” Answered Ryder, his breath falling heavy.

 “By this you put the tribe in danger, Karoon will hunt you and the tribe down” Wolf yelled.

 “I am not willing to die at the hands of the beast, and surely neither are you, brother”

 “You are not a brother of mine, you are a coward, willing to abandon your fate and endanger the Kari, your people.”

 Both their voices were raised high enough, that they did not notice the roars of the beast coming closer.

 “Come with me, Wolf!” he turned to face the women, who were watching him intently, “Sisters! This is not your fate, you are to live long. You are to see your children grow and die of old age.”

 Meadow, Avon and Sky looked at each other, contemplating escape or thinking him absurd, he couldn’t tell.

 Ryder finally cut loose his ropes and leapt from his place. He looked at Wolf, then turned to look at the women, “is nobody coming with me?” he asked, desperately trying to convince them of a better outcome than death.

 “I believe it might be quite late for that now.” Whispered Wolf, with a look of pure horror on his face, looking beyond Ryder.

 That’s when Ryder felt it. A warm, moist breath fell onto the back of his neck that sent shivers down his spine. Then followed a growl so loud that almost deafened the sacrifices. Ryder turned around as slowly as humanly possible to come face to face with the most horrifying being he has ever laid eyes on. Its eyes, six fiery pits of hell. Its arms eight that went in every direction. Its legs were as big as the tribe’s biggest hut. The beast’s body was covered in hair and patches of blood that has hardened over the years. Blood of previous sacrifices.

 Ryder could barely think about what his next move would be before another roar sounded and Karoon was running towards him with full force. He started running, where to, he didn’t know but he was running, unable to stop. Karoon was at his tail, knocking down everything in its path.

 “I don’t want this! Get me out of here!” screamed Avon. “This is not honor; this is a wretched death! Help me, Ryder!”

 At this, Ryder’s mind was set. He couldn’t just run, because there is not a place to go he would not be found. He could not abandon the other sacrifices because he will never be able to live with it. He could not jeopardize his tribe and his family. With the monster in tow, Ryder tricked the beast to believe that he ran right but he circled back and ran in the opposite direction, back to the sacrifices. He heard Karoon stop running, and then slow footsteps coming back towards them.

 It will not be long till he reaches, he thought. I’ll need to free the strongest first.

 He ran towards the tree and untied the ropes and helped her up. “Meadow, you’ll need to free the others from their ropes. Karoon will be here in mere minutes, and I believe it’s about time we got rid of him once and for all. I shall keep him busy”

 Meadow nodded, and hastily went to free Wolf, then her sisters. To the Kari, Meadow was the strongest warrior, she had fought in battles bigger than this and had killed more people than all the warriors had, combined. Her face was as fierce as her heart and her hair as black as night. Her brown eyes pierced the fear into the strongest of hearts and within her came the strength of the earth.

 Once the last of the five was free, they all stood prepared to fight. Ryder was getting the beast to run in circles to eventually slow him down but there was no use. He was running out of breath and was quickly losing all feeling in his legs. When he saw the others free he yelled “Climb up the trees, the beast’s eyes are low and set to the ground. find something to fight with, and fight from above.”

 Instead of heading towards the trees as Meadow, Avon and Sky did, Wolf ran towards Ryder. The beast had almost caught up to him, when wolf called out from beside him. “You go! I’m faster, I can outrun him! I will run a little further and circle back towards the trees.”

 With that Ryder found the nearest boulder and quickly ducked behind it as Karoon kept after Wolf, who ran with the speed of all the wild combined.

 Ryder sprinted back towards the trees and climbed up the nearest one. On his right was Avon, waiting for his command. On his left was sky, terrified but brave. And on the tree across from him was meadow watching him and waiting to know what their next move would be. He started looking around their surroundings, just like with the rock, he was trying to find a weapon or something they could use to slow the beast down. Sky and Avon did the same, to Sky’s left on the ground she saw two spears, almost as old as she is, left by the Karis on one of their previous spearfishing trips. The tribe believed that after a spear kills a fish, it takes in the fish’s soul, resulting in bad luck if ever the spear was used again. Nonetheless she believed that there was no other choice for them but to use them.

 “I see spears on the ground!” She shouted.

 They could all hear the monster running back.

 “I have liana vines, if that would help!” Yelled Avon from the tree across.

 Ryder’s brain raced, thinking and rethinking every single way in which they could work with using the spears and lianas.

 Karoon’s footsteps are louder now.

 “Avon, cut down the lianas and throw one end to me! Sky, how fast do you think you can get the spears off the ground?” Ryder was suddenly made the leader of the task and he was not about to get everybody killed.

 “Why do you think I was given the name Sky, Ryder? I will have them faster than Wolf can run.” She smirked as she leaped off the tree to where the spears lie. Then, with an effortless and swift jump she’s back on the tree, even higher than before. She looked back at him, winked and said, “I can jump to the sky.”

 Karoon is mere seconds away now.

 Ryder held on to one end of the liana then threw it to sky, who got a hold of it easily. Sky then threw him the spears, which he threw to Avon on his right.

 “Avon, throw the other end of the liana to Meadow!” he shouted, “be brave, be strong, because when the beast is right below us, you and I will ride its back”

 Avon did not have time to process, she was to do what he asked and pray to the gods it works.

 “Meadow, right when the monster is below us, you and Sky are to pull the liana from both ends to slow the beast down and maybe cause his fall.” He ordered and they nodded in understanding. “All of you, pray to the gods and hold on for dear life. Our people depend on you!”

 As soon as he said those words, Wolf and the beast came into their lines of vision, Wolf was running as though his life depends on it, which it did. But with the strength of the wild running through him, he looked as if he was only taking a stroll by the river.

 Right when the monster was seconds away from being right below them, Ryder yelled “Now!” as loud as his lung and vocals would allow.

 The next few seconds were a blur, everything happened so fast and in wonderful execution. they worked as a band, each doing what they were meant to do, Wolf quickly ducked behind a tree. Sky and Meadow held on to the trees for dear life and pulled both ends of the liana vine as hard as their bodies would allow. While Ryder and Avon were on the back of the beast in no time, holding onto what little of its hair that was not hardened by blood.

 “Avon! When I say so, you have to stick the spears right into the back of its neck! Are you prepared?” the vine did not cause Karoon to fall but it did slow it down enough for them not to drop off.

 “One” Ryder Counted.

 Avon felt a force rush through her.

 “Two”

 She felt the strength of a thousand fish come through the spear into her body. She waited.

 “Three”

 Karoon let out the loudest shriek ever known to man, rose off his hands to his feet, and heaved Avon and Ryder off of him to the ground.

 He fell. The beast, Karoon, fell.

 The five tied the monster up in all the liana vines they could find and dragged it across the forest to the tribe. They walked amongst their people, heroes and saviors. Five and not one. And, from that day onwards, legends were told of the Ryder of the beast and how he moved the Meadow, the Avon, the Sky and the Wolf.

 The earth, the waters, the heavens, and the wild.

#short story #myth #mythology #tribes #heroes #saviors #wild #water #earth #heaven #beast #sky #meadow #wolf #avon #story #writing #writer #fighting #battle

[in-my-time]

To Paradise

I am from sand, and to sand, I will return. I am the wind. I belong to the world, and I am born of stardust and wonder. Beauty is I. I am a wanderer, a traveler of time and space. The universe is in me, and I am within it. I sway with the current and dance with the waves. The glow of stars comes from inside me, and so does the light of the flames. I am the cool of winter and the breeze of spring. I am the heat of the summer and the leaves in fall. I am the unwavering soul, the cry for freedom. The glitter of sunlight is my guide, so is the lunar gleam. Within me are the eternal faith and the ephemeral breath. I am the strong and the weak, the scholar and the educator. I am the world. I am the daughter of Adam and Eve; I am the daughter of the descendants from paradise. And to paradise, I return.

#paradise #sand #stars #writing #excerpt from a book I'll never write #writing blog

[in-my-time]

The Meeting

Blue eyes fell to hazel, and everything else was lost. Lost in the wonder of all that is and all that will ever be. Shadows danced about the sparks that flew all around two lost souls that have found eternity in each other’s mortality. They walked towards each other; they walked towards nothing but exponential grandeur and bliss. A smile flickered atop the lips of a man who’s known nothing but almost loves and almost happily ever afters because he stood, at this very second, facing the never ending, the always and the eternal. He stood waiting to be blessed with the melody of a voice he will never tire of, anxiously remembering and forgetting all the moments that preceded this one and Internally fighting and resolving every fear and doubt he has ever encountered. Time raced and slowed as he breathed in the air of a new world that he has yet to experience. He walked towards the breath of a new season and wanted nothing more than to grasp this moment, bottle it, and live evermore within it.

#writing #excerpt from a book i'll never write #romance

[in-my-time]

Monday 11-04-2016

Do you procrastinate?

If you just answered that question with a no, you’re lying. Either that or you are very, very, very driven. I never quite understood our need, as human beings, to procrastinate. Animals don’t. Tables don’t. Also, I have no idea why I just compared humans to tables, but you get my point, right? Good.

The thing that bothers me most is not the act of procrastination itself, it’s that we do it at the most inopportune times. For example, I have a test tomorrow. I am fully aware that I have a test tomorrow; and instead of studying, I’m writing this. Why, you ask? Because I don’t want to study just yet, I’m prolonging my “free” time just enough to say, “Ha! Suck it test. I will not be slave to your failing grades and incomprehensible MCQs”. But then, when I do actually fail… well, you know how that goes…

That’s not all though. It’s gotten so bad to the point that we started to procrastinate our lives and our feelings. For the life of me I do not understand why or even how we do that. You’re not following? Ok well, have you ever gotten a text that you know if you open, you might get hurt or you might have to get into an argument or deal with something, so you just don’t open it for a while? It’s as if your mind is thinking “Oh yeah you know, if I don’t open it, it does not exist” but it does. It exists. And whether you open it or not, you will keep thinking about it and you will have to deal with it at one point or another. So why not deal with it right now and get it over with? No. I shall procrastinate, your mind says. Ah, humans. We’re so infuriating to try and figure out. But I believe that’s why we are such beautifully horrible creatures. We are so complex and so hard to work out; kind of like a 5,000 piece puzzle, and each piece belongs to a totally different picture, and each picture is on a different planet and each planet has 1,000 different parts and… alright I think I lost you.

The whole point of this is that WE. SHOULD. NOT. PROCRASTINATE.

Please.

Do not do it.

You will regret it.

Oh who am I kidding?

Of course you will procrastinate.

There’s no way around it.

Well.

Try at least.

Alright?

Cool.

I think I need to go study.

Maybe after one more episode?

Yeah that sounds good.

Ok.

Bye.

[in-my-time]

Monday 08-02-2016

-Time-

People talk about time travel like it’s impossible. People laugh and scoff at the idea of being able to go back to a time they thought was forgotten. But today, I time traveled. It’s funny; because, you see, we all do it. We all play at the margins of time and we all occasionally cross the border that separates the present from the past, we just never pay it enough attention.

Today, I went back in time to when I was a naïve high school student who thought she understood all there is to understand about everything and anything she will ever face. I walked through the hallways of my school, a place that once felt so big and so daunting, and it felt as though it got smaller and less scary. At 15, I just thought the entire world is going to be like it is, or was, in school and I felt like I can conquer anything, and overcome anything, alas, I was mistaken. I now understand that not everything can be fixed, as well as overcome but I also understand that it’s okay. We’re allowed to be helpless at times and to not be able to fix things we’ve broken because that’s all part of the shebang that is life.

As I looked through all the nooks and crannies that I knew were in that place I once called home, it felt as though time had shifted and that my entire world was turned upside down. My hands began to shake and my heart played the rhythm I thought I forgot. It was absolutely surreal. I had the strongest urge to run my hands on the walls and to feel like that high-school-er once more, to be so careless and to be able to call everything I did an adventure – and oh the adventures I had –

It suddenly hit me like a ton of trucks that I’ve grown up. I’ve come a long way from having to listen to adults telling me how to be, how to act and how to feel. The same lungs I’ve had all my life breathed in the air of the school but for a second it was as though it wasn’t me breathing. To say that I have changed would be an understatement; because recalling that 15 year old high school student and who she was, it was as though I was recalling a childhood friend rather than myself, a friend I had not made contact with in years, a friend that I miss very much.

I have changed, absolutely and entirely. But that 15 year old is a part of me, and today I saw her waving goodbye to me from the school gates as I left and I knew right there that she is proud of who I became.

Time is a wonderfully harsh verity.

[in-my-time]

Wednesday 20-01-2016

I don’t know what happened on 1.1.2016, but on that day it felt as though there was a long forgotten switch in my head that finally got turned on. Ever since the new year started I got the boost I’ve always needed to work on making my life better, making myself better. For years now I’ve dealt with the issue of giving toxic people leeway into my life, to roam about as they pleased, to have an unchangeable effect on me, which I believe was exactly the reason behind my depression and sadness, well part of it anyway. But for the life of me I could not think of a reason why I would let them do such a thing, why I would let them tamper with my well-being and happiness in the way that they have. After 1.1.2016 I decided that I will not do that anymore, I will not let the people who have brought so much grief and frustration into my life keep going the way they are. I’m going to be the boss of me, even better; I’m going to be the king, queen and hell the entire kingdom of me. Because you know what? That’s what I deserve. A major reason behind this decision is having people in my life that helped me, well forced me really, to understand that I was worth so much more than toxic friends and endless melancholy. They’ve helped me grow in the two and half months that I’ve known them more than I’ve been able to do so on my own for years. Take this as inspiration, read this as entertainment, I don’t really care how you see this post. All I truly care about is you believing that no matter how important you think a person is to you, no matter how long you’ve known them for, toxic people are just that, toxic. They will hold you back as long as you let them, they will put you down every chance they get and personally, I don’t see why anyone should want that in their lives. I’m not saying that I’m amazing or great or brave, I’m not saying any of that crap ‘cause it’s not true, I’ve cut off people from my life and it feels like absolute shit but you know what? Every day that passes I feel better about it because why should I feel guilty about letting go of people who never gave a damn about me? So, I hate that I did it, and some days I regret it, but I keep reminding myself, just like you should keep reminding yourself, that they got cut off for a reason and that in the long run what you feel so guilty about would be the greatest thing you’ve ever done. I’m taking care of me, similarly, you need to take care of you; in the end you’ve got your own back. So, in the words of Elsa “Let it go”.

[in-my-time]

Tuesday 15.12.2015

You know what’s better than watching 3 movies and reading 10 chapters of a book in a single day? Knowing that I’ll have a month to do that very same thing.

 My semester has ended today and a huge weight has been lifted. I feel like I can go anywhere and do anything, but let’s face it; I’m not going to. I’m going to lounge in my sweats all day long being lazy, because that’s 99% of the fun of vacations, isn’t it? Knowing that you have nothing to do and no obligations to attend to. But here’s the thing that got me thinking today. Sometime in the afternoon I chatted with a really good old friend of mine, and we talked about how long it’s been since we last saw each other and how we have so much catching up to do. Eventually, we agreed on hanging out this winter break. Now, my question is: Why do we promise each other hangouts and meet-ups fully knowing that in the end we’re just going to make up an excuse not to go, even though on some level we really want to?

4 years ago I would’ve been all over going out with friends and spending the entire day with them. But now old friends are just too much pressure to hangout with, I don’t quite know what it is. And before you judge me about how horrible I am as a friend, let me ask you this: Don’t you do that as well? Don’t you sometimes make plans with someone and decide on the day that you just don’t want to go. Why do we do that?

A big part of me thinks its fear. Fear of not being the person your friend thinks you’ve become, fear of not living up to who you were in the past. But, Fear of change mostly. Because whether you like it or not, that friend you’re meeting has changed, you have changed. Hanging out or meeting up now will not be like hanging out or meeting up 4 years or even 2 years prior. Now you’re older, now perhaps you’re wiser (which is not the case in many people). The way you talk to each other will be different, the way you connect will change, the way you laugh would have a different ring to it, and you fear your world shifting. You will finally have to accept that fact that you’re not 16,17 or 18 anymore and start being an actual adult with actual responsibilities. yikes. This is not true in many cases, but then again in other cases it’s very, very true, whether it’s a friend you’ve known since you were in diapers, or it’s someone you got close to a year ago and just faded out of you life over time. Nonetheless, fear of not being a good friend drives you into making plans, and then fear of not being accepted for who you are drives you into canceling those plans. At least that’s what it is in my case. I don’t really have a solution for this problem or even know why I’m writing about it. It’s just that it was something that really got me curious about how we, as humans, work and operate. It’s just something that got me wondering.

 So, if I made plans and canceled on you last minute, I apologize. I will say, though,  that it will probably not be the last time. Sorry.

[in-my-time]

Monday 07.12.2015

Four. Just four. That is the number of days I have left for this semester. Four. I keep screaming four to myself because I need to keep being reminded of it; mainly because I need something to help me keep going, help me to keep putting at least some effort. I feel as though if I don’t mentally countdown then I would give up on this semester as easy as I gave up on liking raisins. I mean, who likes raisins, right? They’re just really old grapes. Who exactly kept a grape for so long and then saw it wrinkled and tiny and thought “hey you know what would be a cool Idea? Putting that thing in my mouth.” I’m getting way off track, but I really really hate raisins.

FOUR. I just have to get through today, tomorrow, the day after, and next Monday. Just four more days and I’ll be good.

 Just four.

[in-my-time]

Saturday 05.12.2015

I try, you know? I really do try, to be happy, to be better. It's just sometimes it's so much stronger than me, this heartache. I feel like I’ve been carrying it inside me for years, never-ending heartache.

Do you understand how horrible, how gut wrenching heartaches are? Because here's the thing, alright? It's like this, if you break your arm, it heals. If you cut yourself, it heals. If you have a cold, give it a few days and it's gone. But, what do you do when you lose your vision? What do you do when you lose all five senses at once? How do you recover from that? Because that's what heartbreak does to you, it shatters everything that makes you, you. And the worst thing is that if you tell someone, anyone, that your heart is miserable, that you’d rather cut it out of your chest than stay alive, they tell you that they know how you feel. But they don't, do they? No one knows how you feel, just like you can never understand how anyone other than you feels. We lie to ourselves into believing that, yes, this person standing in front of me knows how I feel; only because it's so much easier believing that someone understands than to give in to the notion that you're all alone. So we talk about it, they pretend to get it, or they actually do genuinely believe that they understand, and you believe you're better. Fast forward to 5 months later, you find yourself broken down, lying on your bedroom floor, crying your heartache away. And when you're done you stand up, wash your face and try to be better again.

 Depression is a vicious, never-ending cycle of pain. What a bitch.

[in-my-time]

Wednesday 02.12.2015

It's the 2nd of December, which also makes it the UAE’s 44th national day. On this day 44 years ago 7 emirates joined forces to create one of the happiest countries in the world. So today, I'm reminiscing. Not all I’m remembering are good memories, though, but then again not all were bad either. It still surprises me, you know? How things can change in an instant. Years can pass and you'll think they were but a few moments. In arabic we say "el ayam turkudh" which literally translates to "the days run", but metaphorically, it means that the days are passing so quickly that we barely even feel them. When was the last time you ended a day with feeling like you did something great in the passed 24 hours? I don’t think I’ve done that in… I don’t even remember when the last time I felt that was. What happened to seizing the day or carpe diem or whatever? What happened to “today I will change the world?” Why do 19 and 20 year olds look exhausted and tired all the time? Go out, have fun! You don’t have to change the entire world to have done something great, you just have to change your world and let all else follow.

Like I said, today I’m reminiscing, I’m watching old school videos and pictures, thinking about how I was 5 years ago and wondering what I could’ve done differently. And you know what, I may have made some bad choices, some very bad choices, but guess what? I don’t regret any of them. I was hurt, I was broken, and in most ways I still am, but today I can honestly say that at the age of 20, I’m thankful for getting the chance to live more than 30 and 40 year olds have lived. I can look back, even now, and say “you know what? That was a horrible choice, but it gave me the chance to go on the craziest adventure.” And that’s more than what most people can say if I’m being honest. So, bad or good, I’m remembering. I’m never forgetting. To the people who have so far given me the best time of my life, I thank you. But I would like to give a special thank you to the people who broke my heart and changed me, because if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have felt, if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have loved, and if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have known who is worth holding my heart and who is not. So thank you. Like my country I have faced hardships, and like my country I have overcome them, so to my country I say, happy national day my beautiful UAE. May god protect you and keep you safe.

[in-my-time]

Saturday 28.11.2015

It’s the 28th of November, and with 3 weeks left to my fall semester I’m powerless, exhausted, drained, call it whatever you want to call it. Waking up today was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, but then again, that’s what I say almost every day. Sometimes waking up is the most productive thing I do all week. When did I become like that? When was all the energy sucked out of me and I started moving on autopilot? When did all my motivation to do the impossible evaporate into thin air? When did breathing become such an energy-consuming task?

 When did I stop wanting to live?

[in-my-time]

To start off...

Let me start this blog out by saying that, for now, this blog is private. So if you are here then it’s because I want you here. There might come a day when I make this blog public, which will give the world access to what I consider now my diary. But before that happens, I want to thank you for being here, for taking part in my adventure, my life. If at some point you think that someone you know might like to be on here, to take this adventure with me, please ask me before giving out the password to this blog. Thank you & God bless.