itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

The that storm never comes-

The stagnancy of everything scares me. The silence- so loud that its deafening. The stillness of everything moving around me, the chaos of life- the happiness, sadness, kaleidoscope of feelings and emotions; of growth. I see movement. I see change, I see development- the flow that everyone around me is on.

The progression of time and life. I see it all- in a box of glass. I can see everything. No one can see me. I’m in the middle of a busy street- shouting on top of my lungs, trying to break free from the glass cage. No one sees me, no one seems to notice, I watch them as they see right through me. No one bats an eye, no one turns their head.

I’m a in a race, taking my position, waiting in anticipation for the whistle to blow; to break free from this position and just run. As fast as I possibly can. im still, in position. Centuries pass. I’ve been waiting for the whistle to blow. Patiently. full of energy to leave this mold of a body behind. The whistle blows- everyone runs. I don’t. I can’t. I try to move but fail. I try to run but I am unable to. I’m frozen tin time, forever waiting for the whistle to blow- frozen in my position-frozen in anticipation.

im slowing dipping my toes in water. Ocean. I’m terrified of it. It is vast, silent, still, quite enough to send shivers down your spine. As I slowly go underwater, my heart races. I’m terrified of it. Terrified of water, terrified of loosing my control. slowly being submerged in water, the water fills me up, I can’t move. Can’t scream, can’t swim. I’m invisible in the overflowing rush. I’m invisible. Frozen in This moment, in this dread. Only for me to feel. Only for me to experience. Shouting for help is impossible when im in this loop of invisibility. This moment. Its not mine. Never has been, never will be. I’ve been stagnant. Stuck.

The water is pulling me in. I know no ones is around me. they’re on a busy street, walking past the girl frozen in a glass cage. They’re running their race, never looking back. Never seeing the girl stuck in her position. The girl drowning can’t scream for help. The girl in a glass cage can’t break free. The girl can’t run the race. She is still- just there. Watching. Observing. Trying to form words to shout. To scream. To ask for help.

Its been years since I moved, since I felt peace. Since I felt the rush go away. Its always there. I’m always in combat. Waiting for the war, waiting for the fight of my life.

I never can though. The fight never happens. Im in combat, waiting, stagnant, stuck, frozen.

I live with this anticipation, this pit in my stomach, this dread.

I see the movement everyone, I see the time pass, I watch the clock tick, I see the days change. I see the flowers bloom and butterflies transform, I feel the weather change. I see life. All of it. From this glass cage that I can’t break free from.

Obervering people breathe, watching their wrinkles form, watching them grow- watching them live. This is all im able to do.

I’m a piece in a museum. Stuck. Envious of those who move, envious of those breathe; envious of those who live.

I’ve been in the calm for so long. In this void of anticipation. I embody the calm. I feel it. In combat. Waiting for the storm to come.

I just wait. Forzen in a glass cage like im in a museum. Watching it all- dreadfully, with a black hole in my stomach. Calmly.

There’s a saying that goes- “calm before the storm”.

The storm never comes. I am the storm.

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

purple reputation lock screens

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

“And you asked me to dance But I said, “dancing is a dangerous game… 

Oh, I thought This is gonna be one of those things Now I know I’m never gonna love again

I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve Takes one to know one

You’re a bandit like me Eyes full of stars Hustling for the good life Never thought I’d meet you here It could be love

And the skeletons in both our closets Plotted hard to fuck this up And the old men that I’ve swindled Really did believe I was the one 

Now you hang from my lips Forever is the sweetest con

I’ve had some tricks up my sleeve Takes one to know one And I’m never gonna love again…”

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

So este was k!led by her cheating husband and then Taylor k!led him and blamed his mistress

So Taylor knew it was him but she couldn’t prove it

and then the mistress knows it’s

Taylor but she can’t prove it

and everyone thinks the mistress k!lled the husband

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

Connecting to Nature & The Universe

🌿🌱🍃🌞💫🪐⛅️🌧🌬

[via @dreamy_moons on Instagram]

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

betty + august + cardigan = the teenage love triangle

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

i swear this show was on crack

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

No one understands how empowering Miss Americana is. The amount of hope that it gives to women from each age group is something that my 19 yr old self cant explain. From sexual assault to mental health, I felt taylor representing my voice along with so many women who have been able to. A LEGEND. A qUEEN.

#Miss Americana #missamericana #taylor nation #taylorswift #taylurking #taylor swift #taylornation

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

Someone lemme know why Taylor's speech made me highkey emotional

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

Update no one asked for:

I'm finally back and I just finished the first semester of my college today whoho

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

@taylorswift @taylornation

I've supported @TaylorSwift since 2015 and I hope she can support me now...

Please share this and @ her. We are grateful for any kind of support♡

[itswhoyouarenotwhereyouvebeen]

Hey guys: life updates no one asked for:

I left the college I was in and joined another one in another city, the people here are sweet and nice but I dont mix and fin in with them like I did in my previous college. I also left my boyfriend and my bestfriends in that college, lowkey regret it but highkey excited to see what life in store for me in the next 5 years!