mad-egg

[mad-egg]

Alfred Pennyworth is my main father figure

#alfred pennyworth #gotham #batman #dc #father

[mad-egg]

Today’s mood is Nero dancing and playing the fiddle while half of Rome burnt to the ground

#nero #history memes #mood #help

[mad-egg]

Make like Holden Caulfield and

Sort of goddamn as hell and all

#the catcher in the rye #jd salinger #holden caulfield #goddamn #as hell #and all #sort of #this book is so annoying

[mad-egg]

mood

#this was a real ad on the subway #i think it was for furniture but im not sure #ad #if you need me #please dont #mood

[mad-egg]

I saw a car zoom past me today at high speed with the window open, and inside the passenger seat from what I could see in the split second it flew past me was a person with their legs casually crossed up on the dashboard, screaming at the top of their lungs. If that’s not big chaotic energy I don’t know what is

#chaotic energy #scream #this is real i swear to heck #i think about this a lot #zoom

[mad-egg]

when cats flex their little toe beans. No claws, just the little open close. good shit.

#cats #toe beans #so cute #not to be dramatic but i would die for this #my cats are my children

[mad-egg]

*drinking seltzer* crunchy water

#seltzer #water #stay hydrated #crunchy

[mad-egg]

An unmatched feeling is the feeling of a song you didn’t know you knew the words to coming on and you surprising yourself by knowing all of them

#this happened to me today #halo #beyonce #unrivaled #satisfaction

[mad-egg]

*to the tune of pocketful of sunshine*

I gotta bucketful a bucketful of lawn gnomes

#lawn gnomes #pocketful of sunshine #remix

[mad-egg]

Colonialism, more like

Caucasian Invasion

#im particularly proud of this #wordplay is my passion

[mad-egg]

Everytime I move my legs my knees wanna go snap crackle pop. I ain’t no Rice Krispies, Bitch

#oof ouch my bones #snap crackle pop #im too young for this #rice krispies #help

[mad-egg]

*sprints at 50 mph to give my cats a kiss on their soft little foreheads*

#cats #soft little forehead #so sweet and precious #not to be dramatic but i would die for them

[mad-egg]

god id sure hope not

this muppet (Dr. Bunsen Honeydew) wears glasses but literally has no eyeballs. Who can explain this.

[mad-egg]

Leave him alone he just likes to go sailing

#help! #theres a MOUSE #on my BOAT #a mouse? in my boat? its more likely than you think #you say oh rats like its a bad thing

[mad-egg]

sometimes I think New York City is the greatest place on earth

#new york city #what a place #the things you see #never fails to be surprising

[mad-egg]

Today I passed by an older woman wearing a baby blue floppy bucket hat that was covering her face and a very homemade-looking shirt that said “you say ‘oh rats’ like it’s a bad thing,” with a photo of a rat next to it. I think I just witnessed a celestial being.

#you say oh rats like its a bad thing #a gracious god #celestial being

[mad-egg]

I’m not buyin it. He is obviously hiding something. There is more afoot.

this muppet (Dr. Bunsen Honeydew) wears glasses but literally has no eyeballs. Who can explain this.