When you start opening up to people
191K notes
·
View notes
"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity
186K notes
·
View notes
dude you look forsaken as fuck right now
42K notes
·
View notes
babygirl I'm bothered by noises you wouldn't even hear
124K notes
·
View notes
things i've heard college professors say pt. 15
-type “humpty dumpty sat on a wall humpty dumpty had a great fall” with no spaces and no regrets
-I sincerely don’t sit around reading the wills of people from 16th century Stratford-upon-Avon
-do we have a federal department of education? *reluctantly* yes we do
-okay. It’s 10:30 and I’m cold and mad.
-I was assigned to read Macbeth and was like what the fuck, I want to play Nintendo
-That sounds like something said by someone who wrote 12 historyplays
-I googled today, which I really suggest you guys do
-not to bring up florida,
-current event: balloons!
-(cytogeneticist) I make a lot of money saying I don’t know. It’s a pretty sweet gig.
-*someone comes into the classroom looking lost* is there a meeting in here at 11?
(professor) no i don’t think so, this class goes until 11:30
*person leaves*
(professor, turning back to the class) probably a serial killer
-Yeah, and then Shakespeare was like I never fucking loved you–
-The three typical sources of creative nonfiction essays are the unconscious mind, literature, or the trauma of our lives. Now none of these are technically untrue–
-you don’t have to be smart to understand Shakespeare
*alarm starts going off on student’s phone*
OH GOD I’M SORRY IM BEING SMITED
-“In which the men spend several hours taunting each other with speeches and thwacking each other with sticks.” Yes. That sounds perfect.
-This is, like, nerdy shit I’ve learned over the years
240 notes
·
View notes
Sometimes the rats in my brain come together and start yelling “YEARNING” and in trying to appease them I ask “FOR WHAT” but they are too small so all they can say is “YEARNING” which is a very big word for such a tiny creature, even collectively
117K notes
·
View notes
No, I will never get tired of getting breaking national news from a soon to be obliterated gay angel and a man who is a stoic garden hedge of compulsory heterosexuality
11K notes
·
View notes