#[ I mean - most likely. Not necessarily so ]

[haunted-xander]

So. Fatebreaker, right? Ryne's biggest fears made manifest, daddy issues personified, yes?

He's an amalgamation of Thancred and Ran'jit, his face, his voice and his weapon is Thancred's, but his body, his fighting style and his words are Ran'jit's.

Throughout the fight Fatebreaker constantly makes comments about how only he can protect Ryne, only he can provide for her, only he has even the right to so much as stand beside her, to be in her general presence. He's possessive and obsessive, repeatedly asserting that she is HIS and his only. Which is exactly what Ran'jit says basically every time we encounter him.

But this time it's in Thancred's voice. This time it's with the voice and face of a man she actually cares about.

Ryne isn't scared of Thancred, she never has been. Even when she first met him she was barely even nervous (as clearly shown in Thancred's short story). There's a lot of different feelings happening between those two, but fear has never been one of them.

But now, after things have gotten so much better, she is scared of Thancred becoming like Ran'jit. Because if Thancred was just a little further gone, if he was just a little less compassionate, he would've. It wouldn't be hard for him to go down the same path as Ran'jit did, to be incapable of letting go of the ghost of that girl he loved so so much to the point he'd stubbornly grip anything close to her he could. He didn't, but the fact he could've is terrifying.

It makes his final words, words that are Thancred's, so very important. This is her deepest fears made manifest, but he still says he wants her to be happy. Her happiness not only matters, but is important to him.

#Now we -the audience- ofc knew Thancred was unlikely to go down that path #bc if theres one thing hes been consistent in even in his darkest moments its living up to his loved ones' wishes and legacies #the only time he even speaks against it is his conversation w minfilia in amh araeng #and thats more a case of all his (poorly) repressed grief and stress exploding than him actually meaning what he says #and trying to control rynes life after minfilia literally told him to just let her live her life goes directly against that #i think about fatebreaker a lot. as i do all things related to ryne & thancred #and to me its so important to note that hes more or less ran'jit with just enough thancred in him to be *too* thancred for comfort #its so. her greatest fear isnt even the thing thats been haunting her her whole life (being forced to fill in for minfilia) #its having her free will taken from her by the person she cares about the most (thancred) #and for him to be trapped in endless suffering because he cant move on #just like ran'jit did and was #its not even necessarily that shes all that scared of ran'jit himself #what shes scared about is caring about someone like that #because then she wont say no or try to be anyone but minfilia #(thats also why this fear appears specifically after things get better) #(because she was already ready to forsake herself if it eased thancred suffering) #okay im gonna stop now i need to sleep gnight everyone #ryne waters #thancred waters #ran'jit #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #at this point i should make a tag for ryne ramble posts i make so many of them #tomorrow. maybe. if i remember #edit: i made it #xander being insane about ryne

[juleteon]

Breezehome - Your first home in the province of Skyrim

#Breezehome #Skyrim #Whiterun #Skyrim Fanart #TES #The Elder Scrolls #TES V #TES 5 #My art #Digital painting #Speedpaint #Juleteon Art #[ I mean - most likely. Not necessarily so ] #[ As requested by the lovely Nani ♥ ] #[ It was a pleasure to paint! I had so much fun on this! ]

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24Leaders #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental justice #environment protection #environmental health #Youtube

[korrasamibottles]

Yeah Venom of the Red Lotus showed us how crazy powerful Korra is but The Last Stand had Korra transform the destructive power of a massive bomb blast into something regenerative in the culmination of one of the best character arcs I've ever seen. In my OPINION!!

#SORRY ok i'll stop. #lies. i have more to say. she is so brave and so selfless!!! #and mako sacrificing himself to destroy the weapon's energy source was really powerful too #AND of course. the korrasami of it all. #ok one more thing. it seems like the most common interpretation of korra's conversation w/tenzin in the last stand #is 'suffering makes you a better person' and people rightfully get pissed off about that #but i just....fundamentally disagree with that reading. i saw it as korra choosing to find meaning in her pain #and choosing to find wisdom in it. and i think that's really fucking powerful and why korra's arc resonates so deeply with so many people. #like. the suffering happened. she can't go back in time and undo it. and she didn't deserve it!! #but the only way to move forward was to accept that it happened and let it empower her rather than drown her. #i mean there are things i've been through that i wish hadn't happened #but the idea that those things don't necessarily have to mean i've changed for the worse #that i can choose to find A Point to it all and grow from it and use the pain rather than the pain using me #is actually really empowering. #tlok

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i bet it takes yaz like 6 months to go back to the support group after the first time and then only after the entire groupchat has been bugging her about it for weeks

#bc by then everyone else knows so they make it so 14 is there #which the opinions are probably split abt whether thats a good idea but #i mean most people there dont know yaz #so if it's just like ryan whos like no this new doctor is great i think it'd be good for yaz #most people wouldnt have strong opinions is my point #i think they'd weigh in but like #shes not their friend of most of them #anyway might write this tonight since im thinking abt it now #the opinions are probbaly split abt whether they want him there at all but i dont think it's a common thing necessarily #they just know he exists hesnot really invited #just this time bc ryan is like yaz needs to just meet him once maybe i'll go badly but lets just try

[rhythmic-idealist]

Chase Trinaeste POV Shepherds of Haven fic? Yeah………….. Chase x MC fic? Yeah.......

And another friend’s OC is also mentioned in here? …..Yeah…………… dw about it..........

Listen though. L-listen:

---

You gotta learn to braid.

Thinking about it, your head is immediately gifted with images of him irritatedly brushing it out in the morning and chewing you out for bad technique. Better yet, he wears it to breakfast, thinks it’s good, and then chews you out only after Trouble makes some no-brained comment and he looks in a mirror for the first time. After all, you’ve got nimble fingers, makes sense to assume you were trustable.

Rock’s head is in your lap.

And his hair is going everywhere, and he’s always clearly taken his time with it (at your best guess he uses five different products at least), so that’s why you’re thinking about it. Don’t people with long hair sleep with braids, sometimes? Lavinet would probably teach you, and do you the favor of not announcing that you’re about to use your skills for evil.

He’s been like this since about five in the morning. You’re a light sleeper. As needs be, you rise either with the sunset or with the sun. Or elsewise, if you’ve got to— you have what some might call an uncanny sense for a well-timed catnap.

So you’re up again, working out the couple little kinks in your back from dozing upright like that. It’s another of the perks of the job: learn to sleep anywhere. You have a lot of little resume filler skills like that, just a tragic lack of resume to put it on. Idly, you wonder over the nonsensical notion of putting one together for the Order once your writing gets good enough to, and you’re kind of attached to the idea now. Blade wouldn’t read it, especially considering you’re already in, but there’s some small giddy joy you get out of the idea of putting it in his possession anyway. Maybe Trouble would read it. Maybe Shery would think it’s juicy enough that she can’t keep her hands off it, and then roll in the guilt about it for a few weeks after. ...No, you can’t do that to her. Funny as that is, she could read with permission. You might be cruel, but she’s a horrible choice of target.

Anyway— So you’ve been watching him be like this since about five in the morning, and thus have evidence of him being like this since about five in the morning. You remember falling asleep late last night, though. Waiting for him to drift first. It was probably one, two AM.

When six-thirty rolls around, you’ll have to wake him, you have a bright and early morning dose of espionage on the schedule today (it’s why the two of you are all the way out here, plus Lavinet and Ottilie graciously hosted in another wing) and you can’t have a grouchy Hero of Haven who hasn’t had a good hour or more awake to put his silver tongue back on.

Something something joke about that tongue’s many talents.

Head in lap is a surprise at all. It’s one of those things— Rock has done this thing to you where all your defenses are the ones that keep coming down first.

It feels a little like getting grifted. When you’ve caught onto a grift, though, and you’re playing along to see what or whom or where they take you to, you don’t feel like you’re in danger, because you’re good. You’re in as much danger as you want to be, or more like: when there are unpredictable variables, you know more or less where they’re going. Rock makes you feel like you’re teetering on the edge of something you don’t fucking play with, and it doesn’t help that he likes to open his mouth sometimes just to remind you you’re rolling off a cliff.

Anyway. Then you get this, and you wanna be a charming shit about it, as usual (and you intend to), you just also wonder how much he’s falling off a cliff.

He gets bad nightmares. You know that because of the trip to the Reach. You do also know it because of the tightness in Blade’s lip when you mentioned it offhand later— there’s history there; they’ve been worse than that. You also know it because you picked the brains of a couple recruits who were standing around griping after Trouble sent them for something like twenty laps around the compound (not a real intuitive head for numbers on that man): apparently, it was Captain Nomura they’d been gossiping about, and Trouble was a hardass about it.

It’s the one thing that makes you feel borderline… even. If not even, then at least okay with it.

That’s a lie, you’d probably feel okay with it anyway, you got down to being okay with whatever he’s doing to you the minute you realized you were this invested. It’s just something you use to put things in perspective. There are things you didn’t exactly expect to peel open for him, about you. But there are also things he’s not asking to broadcast publicly to every hard-luck-fleer who wanders onto the Shepherds compound to recruit. Rumors about the head of the Thieves Guild abound, but the unflattering ones are usually less true, and the untrue ones abound so plentifully that no one knows heads or tails of that, anyway.

Feels fair he should have secrets from someone. You’re still gonna fucking dig your way into them before they bury him alive, it’s just. Yeah, you haven’t had your brain pulled open onto a projection screen.

So he has nightmares. You’re not actually sure how often. Technically, you don’t have proof they haven’t gotten better since you last heard. But since you’re not bound to the same evidence requirements as a court of law, and since it’s become a roulette game of how grouchy Rock’s gonna be minute-to-minute, he was dodgy about the prospect of rooming with you or anyone on this mission at all, and he’s recently had a god or demon or trick of the light try to tell him (plus all of the rest of you) that he’s less Mage and more something else’s torn out rib, you can look at two plus two plus two and say probably.

You’ve learned how not to dream. It’s basically the same as learning how to wake up when you want to. When you did dream, you dreamt of mutiny, imaginary holes you left and getting torn down through them. You were always yourself in your dreams—some people are characters, tropes, or other people they know, apparently; you wouldn’t know. Now you keep that in the waking world, and you keep ten paces ahead of it.

That’s the thing you’re deadly sure about in him. That he’s keeping ten paces ahead of something. You—your whole tether to his side—account for anything from like one to like eight of them, as far as you can tell. That’s all you know.

…Well that’s the quick way to tell it. He’s keeping ten paces ahead of something inside the Shepherds. Could be Blade, but you’re not sure why. Could be the Autarchy, but that’s too simple for you. Doesn’t feel like it. Could be Ottilie’s God-given plans for a pretty obvious heathen, but your nose also says it’s not that easy.

He looks dead asleep right now. Comfy, you’d kind of go so far as to hope. And anyway you look at his face, still waters, and you’re a little afraid to even brush his hair out of it.

You don’t even know if he meant to lay his head down on you at all, if that’s a cliff he made his shaky peace with (or if it’s a cliff at all, if means anything to him, Hael if you know) or if he was just miserable.

You don’t know if it’s you, like the stillness might be the effect of having another body in the room that he’s willing to lay his head against— …or if maybe he just doesn’t get them every night. Or if there is one under there. But you hope he’s not dreaming.

You try to bask in it, for now. Try to pose like a king with a sweet little kitten in his lap, like a guy painted on the front of a romance novel with the sweet, innocent angel he’s seduced to lay over him, nightgown slipping down her shoulder. You spend an hour with only walls to watch, dutifully still so he can finish sleeping, and it’s only a small handful of times that you have to stop and breathe through a creep of bile up your throat.

Six-thirty hits.

“Good morning, Sunshine.”

“Mmf. What.” Rock spits a strand of hair out of his face. Yeah, you probably could have done him a favor on that instead of leaving it there for him to wake up to. But it’s funny, so, you know. Win-win.

“The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, Ottilie’s slaughtering her morning chicken—” (she is not).

Rock seems to parse the reality of where he is, and peels himself up from you, sitting facing away from you— and then he glances at you over his shoulder, for a moment, and everything about it is horribly, disressingly raw.

He looks at you a little too long. The thing about Rock is his rules are a lot like yours, and you are not supposed to say anything about it, but he’s looking at you, like he’s asking you to, and it lasts a long time.

Then he goes to brush his teeth.

#shepherds of haven #chase trinaeste #chase trinaeste x mc #shepherds of haven fanfic #yeah sorry this one doesnt. resolve. thats it thats the oneshot! #i have more drafted from later on this little made-up mission im sending them on #but it's more like a second chapter #one day I'm gonna write the fic about how deeply fucking tragic everything going on w Blade and Rock is bc it's not clear here but #listen. listen. Blade is one of his most important people. #I have constructed a guy who loves Blade so much. and who then proceeded to convince himself that one day Blade will kill him #I mean not necessarily Blade. just the Shepherds. but it would hurt worst if it's Blade. so now it'll definitely be Blade. see. logic #Blade is going to feel. so extremely ill when he discovers this has been going on #so there's the... FLAVOR of the Blade mention in here

[blluespirit]

I sort of like the thought that Zuko and Aang take the Sun Warriors' warning not to tell anyone about the dragons a little more seriously… and they keep it between them. Of course, they trust Sokka, Toph and Katara. Of course they know they wouldn’t tell anyone, but now three people (including Iroh) know the truth about Ran and Shaw. And that’s three too many when you’re trying to keep a secret.

(and there are other people at the temple as well - like Haru, Teo and The Duke - who, while trustworthy, aren’t as close to them as the others, and when it comes to secrets with as much consequence as this one, you can’t afford to take any chances.)

Furthermore, the culture within the Fire Nation since Sozin’s rein has been warped. The culture is not to respect the dragons as the original firebenders, it’s to conquer and kill them. It’s the ultimate proof of your strength as a firebender. All it takes is one mistake before rumour spreads, and people go looking for the ultimate hunt. It’s not something Zuko or Aang can risk.

Whether Katara, Toph and Sokka (and Suki) ever find out the truth is up to you. But post-war, after Zuko returns from a strange, poorly explained trip with a dragon, and eventually develops the ability to use rainbow fire, either the others have some questions about Aang’s knowing look, or they are finally let in on a monumental secret.

#it’s a kids show so i think for that reason it was played for laughs about keeping the dragons a secret is not necessarily a bad choice... #the show does that sometimes where it says something off hand and then leaves me lying face down contemplating ✨the consequences✨ of that #but there are some… implications there about being too loose lipped with the truth in leading up to the end of and immediately post #war fire nation. just because zuko understands the spiritual significance of a dragon it does not mean the rest of his people will. actuall #its more likely that they'd reject zuko's opinion considering that he's basically coming into power and then telling everyone that #they've been lied to their whole lives. the fire nation is drowning in propaganda. for a lot of people this opinion of dragons and #firebending's true nature being violence and destruction is all they know. fire is LIFE but to most people that's an alien concept #and in terms of keeping secrets - it’s not even a matter of trust it’s a matter of too many people knowing #you might not even realised you’ve revealed some incredible information to someone who has the means to spread it or pursue it #so… i think zuko would be hyper aware of this. since he grew up hearing stories about the 'glory' of dragon hunting #and since iroh has also made a concerted effort to keep this information hidden i think it makes sense he’d be very hesitant to let it #get out to the public #aang would agree i think esp if zuko explained the importance of hiding them even from loved ones #ALSO random but it also makes me wonder what the fire nation said about roku in wake of the war #he had a dragon but he didn’t kill it. he didn’t ’conquer’ it #sozin would have had to work his ASS off to reframe history as him being the more… loyal(?) patriotic (?) of the two #did he frame it as roku didn’t have the courage to kill a dragon??? that he lacked the strength of a true firebender? #the avatar works hard but sozin's propaganda machine works harder 🧍‍♀️ #zuko #aang #avatar the last airbender #zuko & aang #jack talks #sun warriors #book 3 #what is it with me having a whole separate post in the tags 👁️👄👁️

[thedreadvampy]

The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.

It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.

#red said #i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life #my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me #like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy. #anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is. #but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was #like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it #i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen. #I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles #and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences #and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma #obviously microtraumas build up but still. #then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma #is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING #told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip #and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain #until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position #and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific #and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with #like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex #out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage? #and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh #so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea #that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting. #like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.

[flutterbyfairy]

btw sexuality labels do not have to be super specific with strict boundaries of what "qualifies" as being that sexuality. you do not have to base how you define your sexuality on the first description that comes up on google; history, culture, the nuances of personal experience, and what you feel connected to are just as important a part of how you choose to identify!

#brought to you by a lesbian continously annoyed at the 'non man loving non men' description of lesbianism #i used to think i had to wall myself off from being attracted to certain genders in order to continue identifying as a lesbian #but like. gender is weird and silly and so is sexuality!! #this isn't something i'm the most knowledgeable on but to my understanding before lesbian separatism the term lesbian was used a bit #differently than it is today - being attracted to men didn't make someone not a lesbian #which i like! cus i identify a lot with (especially femme) lesbian history #i like queer masculinity! in the particular way that is common for femme lesbians #to me being a femme lesbian describes my experience with the way i feel within myself and the way i love queer masculinity. it doesn't feel #contradictory to me to be in relationships with men. i luuuuv my boyfriends and #me being a lesbian doesn't mean i don't or that i don't see them as men or anything #i am not particularly good at the whole Social Constructs thing due to autism so that probly plays into it #it is all confusing and i don't necessarily understand some of it (even my own identities) but i go with what makes me feel like me #^-^ #meg (boyfriend) saw this post and said ''i used to think i wasn't attracted to men. i was just looking at the wrong men'' #which is sooo true

[good-beanswrites]

Just wanted to plant an idea if you wanted a bit of fuel: Mahiru asking Yuno to come to her cell before everything goes down.

Edit: I forgot the ask didn't say it but this is part of Kyanako's incredible Order Of Attack AU!

Didn't mean for this to become a mini Mappi study but here we are ✨ Thank you for the request! I fully intended to write them hanging out, but it's more right before they hang out lol. Went a bit on-the-nose with foreshadowing, but isn't that the fun part? It has become Emotional Over Mahiru Hour...

I kept things vague, but TW for mentioning her boyfriend's state of potential self-harm

Mahiru tried not to act superstitious, she really did. As much as she loved the idea of little luck charms, or avoided easy signs of misfortune, it was easier to keep quiet about such ridiculous things.

Maybe catching a bride’s bouquet meant no guarantees; maybe there was no real harm in stepping underneath ladders, maybe a coin tossed into a fountain had no real magic to its wish. However, the one thing she knew for sure held power was a lucky presence. Being in the right place at the right time could alter everything. And today was the right time for something. There was this waiting in the air. The prison had been holding its breath. Mahiru knew it was time to release it all.

“You must be so lonely, why don’t you let big sis Mahiru keep you company?” She beamed at Amane.

She often recalled the good fortune that she and a certain young man had crossed paths on the university terrace. She used to laugh with him about the wonderful coincidence of bumping into each other outside of the bakery, then the convenience store. 

Though she’d never spoken about it to him, she was also grateful for many occasions where she walked in on him at the precise moment to talk him out of something reckless. She always told him that they’d do everything together. He didn’t need to be alone anymore. 

“I wish to be alone. I need peace of mind to think.” Amane turned away from the cell door.

It was a good thing, too. Mahiru’s smile wasn’t as convincing as she said, “o-oh. Of course.”

She made her way around the panopticon, hearing Fuuta pace his cell in anticipation. He must have felt it too, this holding of breath. 

Or perhaps not. He turned down her offer for a bit of company, including a few more colorful words than Amane had. Mahiru just apologized for bothering him and headed back to her cell. She wasn’t sure where Mikoto was at this hour, but she didn’t feel like smiling through a third rejection.

She shook her head back and forth. She wished the motion could rattle the voices inside, she wished she could shake them all away. With her arms secured in place she could no longer cover her ears. She used to hum to keep them at bay, but lately they’d been too loud to stifle. They just kept on talking.

Their words told her the two were right. Nobody needed her company. No – nobody wanted it. Being together hadn’t helped her boyfriend. In fact, being together had been the very thing that got him killed. No wonder Amane and Fuuta wanted to avoid her. 

So then, this was for the best. She would rather deal with the brief sting of refusal than stumble in one day to find them hurt… or worse. As much as she tried to avoid the superstition of it all, the voices reminded her that her very presence could mean life or death. 

“Mappi, are you alright?” Mahiru hadn’t realized a tear had slipped down her cheek until she hurried to swipe it away in front of Yuno. 

“Hah, I’m fine! Just fine.” It was impossible to fool her, Mahiru had learned, but that never stopped her from trying. 

At least she always spoke tactfully. “Rough morning?”

Mahiru shifted her arms in her uniform, making a small sound of agreement.

“Can I do anything to help? What if I stay with you for a bit? I can do your hair, and…”

The voices were right. Amane and Fuuta knew it, too. Presences did hold power, and Mahiru’s was cursed.

But she would sound foolish admitting such a fear to Yuno. She'd heard plenty from the voices about how stupid and airheaded she was, there was no use in getting the same lecture from someone as grounded as her.

Mahiru managed a weak protest, unable to explain her real reasoning. Yuno was insistent. She didn’t give much of a choice. Could she feel the strangeness of the prison, as well? 

At last, Mahiru allowed her shoulders to sag. Yuno was lucky. And kind. Having her nearby would do her good. Amane and Fuuta would be alright. Mahiru had tried spending more time with them after verdicts were announced. Now, she made a mental note to pull back. If her love couldn’t save anyone, at least she could spare them from her curse. They would be safe. 

“Yes. Please stay. The truth is... I don't want to be alone.”

#milgram #mahiru shiina #yuno kashiki #amane and fuuta mentioned #i dont know how well this all fits in with your vision of the au but i had a ton of fun with this lmao sorry 😂 #oh hey if anyone knows any japanese superstitions like those in the beginning lmk #i was trying to research them but i kept getting lucky symbols/words - not necessarily actions like that #anyway thank you so much for this!! it was a really interesting moment to capture >:0 #drabbles that take me way too long to combine my three brain cells but im really pleased with the end result #i had a lot of Mahiru Thoughts but it took a bit of fiddling to make them fit together #the superstitiousness - the focus on one's presence - the parallels with his bf - what she's dealing with from the voices #im glad it came together semi-smoothly in the end asdfsd #i didnt mean for mahiru t break the fourth wall or anything -- #i always saw her as a master at picking up on social changes/cues so she can tell when things are most tense/kotoko is fully prepared #but she doesnt consciously know it -- she just knows that things feel Off #not only do the attacks confirm mahirus fear that shes cursed - but yunos involvement confirms her belief that shes extra lucky #i wonder if shed still end up spending all her time with yuno now that she thought she was such a protective person... #i couldnt articulate it right since the end was wrapping up so nicely - but mahiru starts to wonder if most people are fine being left alon #and *shes* the odd one out for craving company #then she feels isolated because by getting what she wants shes dooming someone else #i mean... if everyone you try to get close to starts getting hurt... wouldnt you worry about the same...? #AHAHAHAHA hope you enjoyed 🙃 #*posts this then retreats back into the void for a bit* #drabbles

[soldier-poet-king]

I know I have terminal insane silly brain disease and my feelings on this matter will change in probably the next 5 minutes but like

Damn I am funny and hot and generally trying to be kindhearted and good, and my teasing and flirting and emotional rambling, which is maybe Too Much at times, is still a privilege and a blessing, not a burden, to the people around me

#the duality of fran #i say teasing and flirting but its not even necessarily romantic #my flirting is indistinguishable from my platonic affection because i cant comprehend ever falling for someone who's not a friend first #dating apps??? could not be me. (reason 237384883 im single) #but anyway! i love you! if youre reading this yes you! #standing invitation to come flirt or joke or tease or yell passionately about both silly and also serious things in my inbox always #i contain MULTITUDES and tbh!!! most of them are pretty great!!! #yes everything is bad and I'm work stressed and ive had a 5 day long tummy ache and headache #and its a zillion degrees and the ac is broken and i cant wear short sleeves bc my boss hates tattoos #and id rather not have to open that can of worms with HR #and im so so so so tired and my meeting is tmrw and i havent prepped #and also im having mad scruples and idk if its like the normal flavour or it means smthn #unsettling confession dreams. i try not to read into them bc i have the connect everything to make meaning disease #and it fuels my ocd #but oh boy we live in a but what if state of being #However. maybe sometimes the but what if can be good #but what if things work out. what if love and kindness find you. what if there is joy and beauty not just despite but because of the horrors #what if all shall be well at the end of all things

[stardestroyer81]

I've been entertaining the idea of creating a Pizza Tower 'AU' wherein I star as the main character and all references to pizza are instead lovingly replaced by games of old, and while I initially wanted to make a set of Toppins based off of my go-to pizza toppings, I had another idea... what if I made a set of Toppins based off of the Bonus Fruit from the Pac-Man franchise?

Enter The Fruitins, a cross between choice selections of Pac-Man's greatest Bonus Fruit and the Toppins! 🍒🍊🍈🥨🍌🔑

#Star's Art #Star Tower #The Fruitins #Pizza Tower #Pizza Tower AU #Toppins #Toppins Pizza Tower #Pac-Man #Sprite Art #Coolness #I was originally going to post this tomorrow but like #Since I designed them this past weekend I have been OBSESSED with the Fruitins #Like... LOOK AT THEM!!! The skrunklies!! #I know it hardly counts as character designs seeing as all I did for most of them was slap a pair of eyes on the Bonus Fruit... #... but that doesn't mean I love them any less. And they're so fun to draw too! #I think my ultimate favorite has to be the Pretzel Fruitin with its little bow-tie and grin #The pretzel HAS always been my favorite Bonus Fruit in Ms. Pac Man so I had to show it some representation! #Something I'd like to mention is the purpose of the Super Key as it's not necessarily like a Toppin... #Instead it takes on Gerome's role and— once you find it and the tower secret treasure door— can unlock it! #Definitely going to be making more artwork of these fellows for future Star Tower art... and yes that was a name drop 👀

[bleachersgirl]

wait i’m sorry. i’m sorry did they really. not use the line “when you think of me i hope it ruins rock & roll” ??

#i mean also just completely rewrote the lyrics which is understandable like fake lyrics in a book don’t necessarily translate to a good song #but like that was one of the most iconic lines in the book. and the new lyrics are so much more. vague. it’s supposed to be about INFIDELITY #daisy jones and the six

[daisywords]

gray area between someone treating you like an interesting and unique person that they want to get to know better and treating you like a circus sideshow because your habits or opinions or ways of expression are slightly outside of their idea of normal. does this happen to anyone else

#like when people laugh at all your jokes (best feeling ever) #but then it becomes a slippery slope to laughing at things that weren't necessarily jokes #and then at some point it's like. dude you're just making fun of me #but you know it's not inherently mean-spirited it's like they just got too used to laughing at you #but I feel like I'm so forgettable to most people #that I'm very vulnerable to when someone seems to think I'm interesting #but then. idk #sometimes it kind of sours and it's like. oh. you've typecast me in your head as ~quirky~ or something

[fortyfive-forty]

brb gonna make this my pinned post

#tennis #i feel like it's the easiest way to know if my blog will be of any interest lol #i used 'always rooting for u' as a sort of catch-all 💀 #some of them i actively follow but don't really elevate myself to 'fan' level even though i do love them #some of them i am just always passively rooting for but don't necessarily go out of my way to watch #the beloved irrelevant flops could be expanded to include probably another half dozen players as well #btw leaving someone off of this doesn't mean i don't like them lol #by default i have a positive opinion of most players #but obviously that means i can't include all of them in the chart 😭 #so i had to be picky and tried to only include players i actually follow/have separate reasons for rooting for #hence why there are way fewer atp players on here because in truth i don't really watch the atp for the players that often #with the exception of the players above #i just watch for the tennis (which i do enjoy very much!) #but not generally as invested in the players themselves #anyway! blah blah blah i am rambling again

[konfizry]

ahhh i just remembered alphen and shionne are gonna be at the next tales of festival again and damn that's three times in a row for them!!! that's amazing (for me specifically)!! like genuinely i assumed last year would be the last time they were gonna have both of 'em on, bcause, well it can't be the arise Celebrity Couple all the time, everybody's probably sick of them already and the hype's gone down and all that, and heck they even hinted at that in one of the kagenare, but!! against all odds i get yet another year or shimoji and satotaku performing together

#they've only been announced for day 2 and i'm being so brave about it #and to think we probably have BtD to thank for that......... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaahhhhh #anyway i gotta enjoy this while it lasts until arise eventually fades into obscurity byyyeeee #but *will it* fade into obscurity tho #because like as a matter of fact it very much did sell 3million copies #so you could argue thats like. a Milestone. a Whole Thing. Arise has left a permanent mark on the series #and is on its way towards becoming one of the quote unquote Important Titles like symphonia or uuhhhh symphonia!!! (vesperia???) #but on the other hand. is that *really* the case like #like ok thats a LOT of sales but. that doesnt mean it's necessarily gonna have the cultural IMPACT like. #the tales fandom dislikes it for one #and so like. like statistically most of the ppl who bought it are like. they're not in the fandom right. like. they played it and moved on #(god i wish that were me) #like that's what im asking is arise gonna be a cultural milestone in the series even #and like. yes and no??? lmao. because like. there's a high likelihood that the upcoming games are gonna be more like arise right #since that sells. and so. well those subsequent games are gonna draw in ppl who like that type of experience :))) so #uh. YEAH. yknow like WHAT IM SAYING IS #as much as zestiria broke the fanbase it's more likely that there's gonna be 2 distinct pre- and post-arise eras #right. uuuhhh. the pre-arise fans and the post-arise fans are just not the same ppl. (for the most part) #anyway so probably arise is not fading into obscurity aaaaaaarrgghhh noooo #but at the same time like. less and less side materials (manga; drama CDs; comic anthologies etc) are being made so what does it matter #what does it matter if they keep arise alive if it's just to routinely sell figurines and uhhh *checks notes* booze and acrylic stands #anyway i'm so excited for the next ToFestival!!!!!!! #toarise hate #im this close to saying arise has destroyed the fandom for good in favor of casuals who are not interested in the Fandom Experience but #im not saying it. i dont know that.

[hgrve]

harringrove angst (kind of mean steve for those who aren't into that)

thinking of steve and billy having bad fights after starting a relationship, and during those fights steve always brings up the night at the byers.

steve doesn’t really know why he does it, him and billy have made amends, they’re together now and they love each other. except, he kind of does know why he brings it up. it wins him the argument. billy goes quiet and hurt and they don’t fight anymore.

because billy doesn’t want to be like neil, wants to show steve (show everyone) that he’s better. he knows he fucked up, that he’s not perfect and probably never will be, but he thought steve had forgiven him. that they’d forgiven each other, because steve apologized to him too. and how can billy bring that up without looking like he’s making excuses? can’t say you hit me too or you know what happened before with my dad or what was i supposed to think about what i found?

eventually steve does it so much that they stop fighting completely. and, yeah, steve no longer has to deal with the arguments, he and billy don’t scream at each other until they’re both in tears anymore. it’s the best they’ve gotten along since they got together or, well, ever.

but he’s also lost the shy smiles billy gives him when it’s just the two of them, and the little laugh that billy is embarrassed of, the one that hiccups out of him and scrunches up his nose. and, most importantly, he’s lost the quiet nights where billy opens up to him, about the abuse from his dad, and how he felt when his mom left, how much he misses her and how he wishes she’d loved him enough to take him with her.

maybe steve starts getting angrier, and more hurt as time goes on and billy doesn’t open back up. he decides that if billy is going to withhold things from him, steve should start being able to take things from billy too. they still have sex, billy still sighs into steve’s neck when steve slides into him but steve starts not kissing billy, turning his head away when billy tries, turning billy on his belly when billy gets too persistent. leaves billy to clean up by himself as soon as they’re done rather than stay in bed holding each other, enjoying the afterglow together like they’ve always done before. stops taking billy out with him when he hangs out with the party or the other teens, stops telling billy when he goes out at all.

and so, the resentment starts to build up, for both of them, and they’re right back where they started, fighting and screaming at each other. but neither of them will leave. they love each other, after all. steve refuses to have another failed relationship, because what does that say about steve? that he isn’t good enough, loveable enough, worthy enough, just not ever enough. and as much as billy doesn’t want to be like neil, he also doesn’t really want to be like his mom either. doesn’t want to abandon steve like his mom abandoned him, knows how it affected him, how it made him feel, and he won’t do that to someone he cares about.

so they stay stuck in this endless cycle because maybe steve loves billy and billy loves steve, but they don’t always like each other, and they definitely don’t trust each other.

#*w #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve h #i'm not great at writing so grammar/syntax are probably all over the place here so apologies for that #but i had this thought and it wouldn't leave #bc as much as i love happy healthy harringrove i also love angst and can see them bringing out the worst in each other #i also have so much more i wanted to add to this but it would have made it start to go all over the place so i will be adding here #but in short i think billy gets nasty when they fight but steve gets nasty and /personal/ #steve would regret it as soon as he does it and i feel like he would be the type to love bomb (not necessarily meaning it to be malicious) #but bc he's following the example of his parents (my hc) & also a lot of his self worth is tied into what he can give to/do for his partner #whether that is gifting material objects or an over abundance of attention #and i think most of billy's self worth is tied to his appearance/body and he thinks the way to show he cares is through sex #so even though he doesn't feel like he can share more personal stuff with steve anymore #(or maybe he views steve bringing up the fight as steve saying he views billy bringing up his past as making excuses) #he still feels like he can show steve he loves him by sleeping together #and i hc that sex with steve was a whole nother ball game for billy #that he never kissed with anyone as much as he does with steve or that anyone ever showed as much /care/ as steve does for him during sex #so when steve starts not kissing him or treating him like he did previously it sends billy into a tail spin #and i love emotional billy and emotional billy is canon #but i also feel that billy is so use to hiding his emotions (even if he doesn't succeed at it) bc of what neil would do to him #and he would try to do so doubly for someone he cares for bc he views himself and his emotions as something shameful and volatile and bad #and so those emotions would build and build until he just couldn't keep them in anymore #which of course just starts another fight and so on #they are both deeply insecure individuals your honor #whoops these tags got long sorry