#[ but yeah I just. Don't ever see characters in existing canon and original sources with intellectual disabilities ]

[solarisgod]

To be honest, I really could've make Micah work in the astronomy field as an astronaut and other related positions, as xyr adoptive father inspired xem to be, and just make xem be incredibly intelligent as so many well known protagonists were, but there's something so... humanly realistic and painfully relatable in giving xem a dream that xe always wanted to achieve, but couldn't in the end because of xyr conditions, especially with xyr intellectual disability being the biggest barrier.

Micah was raised in the wild with very little socialization and learning opportunities for two years by the Incarnation of Earth who couldn't be and verbally communicate with xem in its vessel ( to protect Micah from forming deep emotional attachment with it in case xe got taken away ) before Micah accidentally burnt xyr home down and got taken away by the first responder team to the hospital. For three years then until the Everlove took xem in, Micah moved in between many foster families, with some being abusive and / or neglectful, and from the multiple stressful changes and treatments, this significantly impacted the Starwake System's social, emotional, and cognitive developments. In addition, developing Dissociative Identity Disorder, they experience dissociative symptoms that would hinder their learning and processing, such as amnesia and dissociation.

But the Starwake System having intellectual disability was especially difficult for Micah to accept when it prevented xem from being able to study in and entirely understand the subjects and knowledge that are required to work in the astronomy field. Micah had to leave xyr classroom to be placed in a special educational class when xe was nine years old and xe didn't understand why, but at ten, xe was appalled when xe had a discussion about xyr special education with xyr parents that led to xem learning about xyr dissociative symptoms and intellectual disability, and this was also when Micah was told xe likely couldn't be able to become an astronomer and astronaut like xyr adoptive father due to the complexity of the topics centred in astronomy.

As an attempt to try to prove xyr parents wrong, Micah secretly tried to take physics and chemistry on xyr third year of high school, but had to drop out a few weeks later when the school and xyr parents were concerned of xyr poor grades and performances. Micah had to take alternative courses and catch up with the weeks old lessons. The catch up game and the fact that xe couldn't do astronomy required subjects caused xyr depression to worsen since starting high school. It doesn't help that xyr childhood best friend, Adoniram, who also wanted to be an astronaut, was able to do and complete them even with the highest grades of his classes. Micah wouldn't even be able to become an aviator at least either, so feeling as xe was forever trapped in the world, xe held a highly strong self-hatred for xyr disabilities until xe was twenty two and accepted this part of xemself with the help of therapy.

Although Micah took creative writing on the third year and this increased xyr love in the art of writing before xe had a revelation xe could be a creator in arts, literature, and drama instead. Micah had to attend summer school of the same year to improve on xyr grades and took previous grade courses that xe didn't have before, so xe could be accepted in an arts university. Micah was able to enroll in one and get both of xyr associate and bachelor degree. Over time, xe became successful and was able to find joy in arts the way that outer space does. While xe may not be able to be with the stars, Micah has still been grateful that despite xyr conditions, xe could still create what would empower and inspire people, creating xyr own stars in the world that people can see only hope and love in.

#ASK TO TAG CW #CHILD ABUSE CW #CHILD DISTRESS CW #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ META . › #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ STUDY . › #𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ MICAH . › #[ Phoebus and Philos' intelligence are more greater than Micah and Phobos but ] #[ they had done a lot and excessively ( e.g. studying ) that ended up harming their health though ] #[ they're still be able to improve on their intelligence and cognition in the end ] #[ this is written by an intellectually disabled system xo ] #[ but yeah I just. Don't ever see characters in existing canon and original sources with intellectual disabilities ] #[ so idk the idea of Astereus having one is just <33333 I love them so so so much ]

[canyoufucksoniccharacters]

CAN YOU FUCK BIG THE CAT?

Yes, him. Big The Cat. From Sonic.

Hey, I ain't judging. Here at CYFSC Inc. we give every character an equal fair shot, and Big is no exception. So let's get into it, shall we?

Alright, starting off, let's look at the archives. And by archives, I mean something that only exists through internet archives- the Sonic Channel ages! As you've likely gathered from the last post, I have a certain disdain for these. But, We're trying to look at official sources and canon material here, so let's start there.

He's... 18? Allegedly? That's odd. For someone so subdued, well put together, someone who loves fishing like nothing else in the world, someone who has seemingly the largest amount of physical strength out of anyone we know in the entire cast (Not counting transformations or power-ups), you wouldn't think he'd be listed as the same age as Rouge. Let's see, where could this have-

OH GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

Every time, without fucking fail. As stated in the last post, this manual holds no ground whatsoever. The ages were never listed in the original Japanese manuals, not a single time. And, again, there is no confirmation whatsoever that there was any communication between whoever wrote these and Sega. Reminder, this manual said that Eggman is a feminist and a romanticist. It is a malignant cancer that will be mentioned around 12 times, give or take, because of how absurdly inaccurate it is, and how much it influenced the age listings we had before they were removed from Sonic Channel.

So, an age of 18 that has been unlisted since October of last year, which is sourced from one of the most god awful yet wordy manuals the series has ever seen. Yeah, I don't buy it.

Look at this. This thing is not 18. This is not a young queer man getting his footing and entering adulthood. He has his own little hut in the jungle that he presumably made himself, he's an expert at fishing and seems to hold more knowledge on sea life than any of us could ever hope to match in our entire lives. He's absurdly strong, able to lift entire cars and boulders over his head as seen in SA1 with very little effort. Sure, Knuckles can crack boulders into pieces with one punch, but can he deadlift them? I don't think so. Big is strong. Real strong.

This is a bear. Not the animal, the gay archetype. This is a massive man who could bend you over his knee and crush your skull. But, he won't. He'll just fish. Fish, as it would seem he's been doing for years with his little frog friend. Don't let his childish way of speaking fool you, he's just like this because he's kind of a hermit that rarely ever leaves his little jungle hut for any reason other than fishing. Rest assured, this man is at MINIMUM about 20 years old, maybe even around 30. Really, you could go anywhere with him so long as you're not approaching the realm of old age.

Big The Cat is, by all accounts, able to consent. You can fuck him. But...

Would you fuck Big The Cat? Could you fuck Big The Cat?

This isn't a matter of if he can consent. He can. That much is obvious. But could you? Would you look at his 6'5/200cm figure, his seemingly impossible weight of 617 pounds, and think yourself physically able to? Would you be able to look into his deep cream yellow eyes while you fuck him? Whether Big is a top or bottom is beyond my jurisdiction, but neither gets you off easy. It might get you off, but it won't be an easy time. Fucking Big is not for the faint of heart. It's a commitment. I can't stop you, I have no intent of trying to stop you.

All I can do is wish you good luck.

You will need it.

STATUS: BIG

#big the cat #sonic the hedgehog #STATUS: FUCKABLE #STATUS: BIG

[burr-ell]

I'm afraid to ask, but here goes... who is that Matt Colville guy?

Regarding your tags about Colville and how he had written Vex. Why do you think his Vex sucks? I've seen some fans who think he did her justice and those who despise his portrayal of Vex, so I'm always curious to hear people's thoughts about his writing of Vex, as well as his handling of other VM members. Also, less important, but what did he do that didn't help you like Scanlan any better? Is it just the way he had written him in the comics or something else?

Matt Colville wrote Vox Machina Origins Series I, the first 6-issue arc of the prequel comic, and I...really don't like that take on Vox Machina, and I think his comic writing in and of itself leaves a lot to be desired. Now I've talked about him before, but that was in my dumbass era, so lemme take a crack at it now that I'm not filtering all my opinions through one subset of fandom.

(To be clear, I don't think he's like. a terrible person or "problematic" or what have you; I don't know the guy. This is purely a criticism of his writing, and I'm going to try to be as objective as possible in explaining my entirely subjective opinion.)

If my understanding is correct (and in fairness, my source for things Colville has said is gonna be "dude trust me" because I started writing this at almost 11pm and I don't feel like hunting around), Colville openly admitted to not having watched a fair bit of the show, including the Feywild arc. He considered those things to be "mining for backstory", and largely watched Critical Role for the combat. And that makes a certain amount of sense because DnD combat mechanics are his thing, but it also means that he wasn't necessarily a great choice to write here. He could have been! But over the course of this first volume he proves that he wasn't, and you'll notice that he's not writing for them anymore.

So to address the first topic: I really don't like his take on Vex, but it's not because she's written as mean—it's because of how she's written as mean and why she's written that way. Now, we know from canon that Vex doesn't start out as an especially nice person to people she doesn't know, and Laura has openly said regarding TLOVM that she wanted to show that Vex can be bitchy sometimes. And I like that about her; I think it's a good character trait. But there's a very specific way in which Vex is bitchy, and Colville's writing does not suggest that he understands it.

...Yeah, that's gonna be a no from me, chief.

Obviously we don't know what Vex was like pre-stream because otherwise these comics wouldn't exist, but we can reasonably extrapolate based on her behavior in the show, as well as the way she was written in TLOVM where Laura was an executive producer, that this is not the way Vex's frostiness would have manifested itself. She wouldn't disdain or dismiss lower-class people as "peasants", and she wouldn't reject the idea of asking them for information on that basis—Vex is usually the first person to start talking to locals about whatever it is she's investigating; she's one of the faces of the team whenever they have to talk to people.

What Colville has written instead is a character clinging to aristocratic status explicitly in order to establish herself in a hierarchy, suggesting that she sees herself as above peasants. But canonically, Vex never considers herself noble-born; no one else ever suggests that she did; and there aren't any indications that she takes pride in Syldor's position and what that might have granted her. Just on the face of it, it seems like Colville heard that Percy gave Vex a title and then she fell in love with him and worked backwards to deduce that Vex always wanted nobility, rather than engaging with her character as it exists.

Another indication that Colville really wasn't paying very close attention is the presence of Trinket—specifically, the lack thereof. The reason Trinket doesn't appear in the first three issues is that Colville didn't think Vex would have had him yet, because Beastmaster Rangers don't get their animal companions until Level 3. Except Vex had Trinket before the campaign even started; not only did Laura write a short story about it that was available on Geek and Sundry, but it's also a major moment in episode 65 because even Vax doesn't know the full details and finally asks her about it, and Vex makes it clear that it happened before they were anywhere near meeting Vox Machina. Colville brought Trinket in starting at issue 4 and wrote around the problem by having Vex explain that Vax made her leave him outside of town, but the fact that this was an issue at all doesn't speak well of the organization of this process. Like...he couldn't have just asked? Did nobody give him a lore document?

Additionally, in the above panels Vex says something about "the school". This is, by Colville's own admission, something he came up with, and it's elaborated on a bit later:

Y'all. I'm sorry, but this is the absolute dumbest possible addition to the twins' backstory.

Now, at exactly what age the twins ran away from Syngorn wasn't entirely set in stone by this point. But for one thing, again, that's probably something he should have asked about if it wasn't provided in any kind of lore document, and for another, while we didn't have exact numbers, the general idea was already that the twins were no older than their mid-teens when they finally left, probably closer to 13-14. So of course if they went to assassin school and graduated (lmao can you imagine), they probably started attending when they were a couple years younger.

Which raises the question of why Syldor Vessar, a diplomat with no martial interests whatsoever, fully aware that he has a rocky relationship with his preteen problem children, sent them to a secret murder school.

I get wanting to explain why Vex and Vax are so good at bows and daggers and why Vex knows five languages, but there have to have been ways to address that besides whatever this is. It's very telling to me that both Kith & Kin and TLOVM seem to be just quietly ignoring this, and it's never been brought up again as a legitimate part of the twins' backstory, even within the later comics.

Secondly (yeah, that was all under "firstly"), I really don't like Colville's take on Scanlan.

SHUT UP.

I'm going to get more into this a bit later, but Colville's Scanlan will. not. stop. talking. He is incredibly smarmy and obnoxious, but not in the fun lovable way that Sam Riegel actually played him; this Scanlan has the single most punchable face in Exandria. Canon Scanlan did not ever talk this much or in this way.

Like, look at all that "story" language—theatrical critiques and scenes and narratives and treating all of life like it's a story. When has Scanlan ever talked like that? He didn't in Kraghammer and he didn't while fighting Vecna. That's not the kind of bard Scanlan is or ever has been.

This Scanlan is very cool. He's collected. He's confident. He's smug. He never takes a hit in a way that matters. He even gets to lecture Vex about her insecurities. There's never a hint at any of his flaws, like that he's actually very unobservant and self-absorbed. His perception and insight modifiers were +1 in part because even by the end of the campaign, his wisdom score was a 7. Scanlan's never been very good at reading people; what he's good at is persuading or deceiving them. We don't see any of that charisma here; what we see is a loudmouthed fratboy who runs his mouth nonstop.

Speaking of running one's mouth nonstop, my final major issue with Colville's writing is his exposition scenes.

I mean, look at this:

Look, some of this is down to personal taste, but I also just don't think this is good comic writing. Comics are a visual medium; the script is meant to work with the art to tell us a full story. This is just massive walls of text in giant word balloons that take up far too much space for what they're doing, and the panels are flat and boring—it's just a bunch of talking heads jabbering at each other. We're clearly meant to focus on the words being said, but nothing about the art gives us anything else to work with. In fact, it's as if the art itself is saying that this scene is just the same thing over and over again with small modifications here and there. We're watching a conversation between people who all sound more or less alike rather than being genuinely immersed in visual storytelling.

Compare the above to these pages from VM Origins II #5 and VM Origins III #5:

Now, some of this is down to lettering—the letterer and colorist were both changed between Series I and Series II—but it's also down to a change in script and art direction. These scenes lay down some necessary exposition, but they’re much more interesting to look at. These aren't just full pages of talking heads; there are different angles and shots, breaking up the sequence as the conversation goes on to help it flow much more naturally and maintain the reader's attention. You can tell that Houser is giving these characters room to breathe and trying to write in their voices, not just making them exposition-dump at each other.

Colville was, and as far as I know still is, a friend of the cast of Critical Role; he just isn't working on the Vox Machina Origins comics and the writing has since changed hands to Jody Houser. I think this was a much better choice; she's a seasoned professional comic book writer and a long-time viewer of the show. Her Vex is a significant step up, taking the clear lead of the group and keeping them together while still maintaining a frosty and snarky personality. Her writing for Scanlan is also a lot closer to canon, allowing him to shine in endearingly goofy comedic scenes rather than giving the entire script to a smug fourth-wall-breaking theatre kid.

Like I said, I don't think Matt Colville is or was a bad person with bad intentions. I just don't think he was a good choice to be writing these comics because I don't think he understood who these characters were or what Critical Role was trying to do with them.

#cr discourse #asks #long post #like. Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here long

[suffarustuffaru]

Have you read one fanfic on AO3 titled Re:Incarnated? One of the most interesting and new aspects of this story for me was Subaru being reborn as a half-elf by Satella. I bet no one has ever thought and acted on that idea before, but there are some questions that bother me, for example, in the canon series there are moments where Subaru relies on Earth's modern technology and knowledge to solve difficult problems, Subaru becomes a half-elf in the world of Rezero and that means that he forgets about his previous life on Earth in Japan, and then when faced with the same dilemma How should Subaru solve it? But I feel these questions should go wait for the original author's update to get answered.

I have to say that fic opened a new door for my inspiration, and I also started to think about creating my own Subaru's elf or half-elf AU, and even imagined a crossover with Lord of the Rings (after all, there's a ton of Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter crossover fics on AO3 and fanfiction) Like one day Subaru is for whatever reason transported to Middle-earth by Satella accidentally and experienced something there, and then how he was found and adopted by the elves of Middle-earth, I think it would be very interesting how the elves of Middle-earth were surprised to find out that elves existed in the Otherworld, Subaru looks similar to them but differs in a few places,and then how Subaru got along with the elves of Middle-earth, and how he explored his own existence and self-worth,how would it be different than the canon series (My half-elf Subaru's character isn't too far off from the canon) Sorry I'm getting a bit carried away, I'm an incorrigible and extreme fan of crossover tropes, I hope you don't mind too much!

yoo sorry i took so long to reply to this ask but please know im delighted to see any asks in my inbox and pfft its interesting hearing about what people are thinking + what they find interesting themselves!!!

as for re:incarnated - i read a chapter or two AGES ago, so i really dont remember much of the fic sadly T^T but ill consider possibly going back to it and reading through it!!! i have a very long to read list though so ill see pfft. and yeah i think that fic was def like. one of if not the first fic to have like half elf subaru as an idea be explored and it also shows a Different method of the isekai trope (being reincarnated!!!) which is fun i think!! plus like. putting "re:" in fic titles is EXTREMELY extremely common in this fandom which i suppose makes sense given. the source material is called rezero. granted most of the time (this is just my opinion btw and i mean no harm by it HAH), to me a lot of fics with "re:" in the title dont justify why the "re:" is actually there. "Re:Incarnated" though is an EXTREMELY good use of the "re" imo. i love the pun <3

yeah as for the fic material itself - i do think its interesting to like change small bits of characters. not in the sense that youre changing like the Core of who they are but i Like seeing experimentations with characters to see like small differences. which is why i love aus (such as the literal canon aus we get in the form of the What Ifs and such!!). if that makes sense. that probably makes more sense in my head HAH anyway!! i always feel like changing a characters backstory is SO HARD to pull off without completely changing a character bc it shapes them a lot. but half elf subaru is definitely an idea that can be done in an interesting way imo and im curious to see how re:incarnated handled that. i know ive considered like emisuba roleswaps myself where emilia was isekaied from earth and subarus a half elf which was kind of like re:incarnated but also not like re:incarnated bc subaru had a similar backstory still but now with a fantasy world background (and vice versa for emilia) aljdfdlsjf. but yeah like i like seeing people experiment with these characters and make fun aus!!! and for me personally its hard for me to find ones i like in this fandom + this fandom doesnt do all the usual fic-isms (like there is next to zero soulmate aus for example HAH) so. interesting i suppose!!

as for your own half elf subaru au - im delighted that you were inspired by re:incarnated and are having fun with your own au as well!! :D while i basically know next to nothing about lord of the rings, your idea definitely sounds interesting, though i dont usually read crossovers that arent fusion aus - but i REALLY love the idea of like two different elf species from two different worlds going ??? at each other HAH thats fun stuff!! and i definitely like when despite all the AU things going on, characters like subaru arent too far off from canon in all the big important ways (ie his whole personality) bc for me, its like - theres a reason why we love these characters and i love trying to capture the heart of who they are even with au things, you know? :o but hah yeah ive made my own crossovers though in private (not to post, just for fun pfft) and i hope you keep having fun about your own half elf subaru au bc it sounds very neat <3 ty for sharing anon!! :D

#rezero #ask #i am so starved of fics in this fandom and i love seeing people be creative u know?? :O i always delight in seeing more even if i dont have #the time or energy or what have you to read everything pfft #thanks again for the ask anon this was fun!! :o #yeah if anyone else is seeing this of course if re incarnated sounds interesting to u give it a little read and leave a kudos and #maybe a little comment if u enjoy it or something <3 #i remember in my own half elf subaru au emilia was a former ice skater and had this whole horror show of a backstory given her family. like #if u know denji chainsaw man. its like that. iirc. yeah. bc thats how her backstory would be like if you translated it into modern day #and half elf subaru had similar backstory to canon its just fantasy-ified and also subaru is a huge nerd about hoshin and shit #and then emisuba ended up making their own isekai novel. long story.

[spinningbagel]

so im currently avoiding the task that is writing the second chapter of the Isles story so I'm rambling a bit. About the Isles yes,,, but also about MB cuz they're on the mind simultaneously.

Specifically, it's about what the MB cast would have as a base & their magic in the Isles because my two interests are merging again.

okay, okay I'll actually talk now.

So Sheriff up first. for him I was originally thinking a bird of sorts, specifically an Australian king parrot. Though I didn't end up going with it and instead decided on a red fox. Not just because he's a ginger (though, that was a large reason to my choice/J) but also if you've ever seen the portrayal of red foxes in media you'll know that they're often painted as thieves- I hope you see where this is going- so I though it'd make sense to make Sheriff have a red fox base because well, he is referred to as a thief in the show.

And for magic, I could've stuck with the whole 'red' theme I've got going on and chose fire magic for him but no, we like switching things up here. Anyways I picked rain magic for him which is basically the ability to create rain when and wherever. like a toned down version of Leo's magic given the fact he can't make storms- just rain. Also his magic spark would be a light blue.

Shooter next, his base was the easiest to come up with. I wanted him to be a sea creature of sorts, my only question was just "which one?" I would like to say it was a difficult choice but I was pretty dead set on my first option, that being an axolotl. Now, there's not actually a reason for this, it just exists. And I personally think it's great and anyone with a different opinion can fight me/j

In terms of magic I think he'd have land magic but specifically rock magic which basically just means he can throw around rocks and dirt. again, no actual reason for this choice. It just somehow seemed fitting for him. Also yellow magic spark, similar to Leo's just leaning closer towards caution tape yellow.

Now onto Vegan. And I will admit her personality was a huge factor when I decided she was going to be a wolf, specifically an Alexander Archipelago wolf. idk I think they're pretty. But yeah, the only reason I decided on this was because of her personality in canon.

For magic I think her magic spark would be a darker grey, much darker than Sapphires (who I don't think I have shown the spark for) and her actual magic would be fire. Any reason for this? no. Did I want to give at least one character fire magic? yes. also dark grey fire sounds badass. you wouldn't even notice it in the dark.

Now you'd think I'd have BP's and Vegans bases the same, but no! they are different!! I have explained this, it's a 50/50 chance of you have the same base as either of your parents so him and Vegans bases aren't guaranteed to be the same. which they aren't. That being said, he is the resident bird man™ he's a raven but would probably enjoy making his wings all colourful with (safe to use) dyes

For his magic, I didn't really have a clue as to what he'd have but eventually settled on wind magic. Kinda like Ryan's (Isles Ryan, not MB Ryan) just a few notches weaker (like 6 notches weaker) and his magic spark would be bright orange, just cuz I think he's a bright and colourful guy but didn't want to use yellow again :3

Dr. White is the second resident bird man™ uh yeah no. He's the source of BP's very awesome wings- so he's a raven himself idk. I just really wanted him to be a bird man because it seems so him.

His magic would be levitation of objects (he can make people levitate, it just takes a bit more effort to do so) mainly because I think it'd be a useful thing for him to have. He could just,, have his work follow him everywhere idk yall.

And finally, Brutux. I decided on a polar bear. Not sure why- which is my main reason for 99% of my choices. but anyways. he's a polar bear so he'd actually live quite a bit away from everyone else because of his preference of colder climates (In the isles, climates are like their own mini kingdoms but are still below the three main rulers who technically rule the entire part of the world that fits their title {land, sea & sky} if that makes sense to anyone who isn't me) but yeah no, he'd live further away and would only visit during the season of the sea when it is much, much colder.

For magic, Brutux would prolly have snow magic which is just like,, creation of snow. kinda basic and plain because of his animal base but this is my oc world so fight me/J and also, his magic spark is red. not like, blood red or anything; something a little softer than that.

anyways. this took way too long to type and I'm regretting my choices but thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#aaaaaaaa #shit post #bagels rambles #mutant busters #mutant busters sheriff #mutant busters shooter #mutant busters vegan su #mutant busters bp #mutant busters dr. white #mutant busters brutux #Spirit Isles #yeah #bet you weren't expecting this crossover #but anyways #this was my way of avoiding writing the actual isles story #someone needs to strap me to my chair and make me write #/j... #...maybe...

[foxymoxynoona]

From what I noticed, your works have been very independent and their own. I know there are other sides of fanfiction where people write for couples or 2 already existing characters but I'm curious to know if you've ever done so as well? Or felt the pull to do so? Your works feel so different where the BTS members really are just actors vs. other works where you go into them already expecting to know who the characters, how they are, what they will become or already are to each other and seeing how those characters are in different scenarios but still the same base if that makes sense? This isn't to discredit those works because I find them quite enjoyable as well, I just couldn't help feel the differences between such stories.

Yeah, I think it's just a matter of how I approach my stories! I really focus on "who is THIS character in THIS story" which may be only slightly inspired by the BTS guys. Usually I try to incorporate at least a few traits that will make them recognizeable to readers but other than that I don't want to be constrained. Who we are is such a combination of our life experiences, the people around us, and something innately us --so if I'm drastically changing 2/3 of that for a story, it stands to reason a direct clone of the character would feel really weird in my scenarios.

I think this may be how I just mentally approach media always though. I think the only time in my life I didn't introduce original characters into my story was when I went through a Twilight fanfiction phase, although I think my Bella Swans were usually pretty non-canon LOL.

I think it's lovely when peoplereally chew on the source material and stick to the characters as they are or adhere to truth that way, just a different approach! I too like to read them just as much :) which is probably even sillier that I don't write that way!

#asks #anonymous

[bigskydreaming]

Hi! I was reading a fanfic and it brought up Roy and Dick's fight, which I see a lot of in fics but never what they fought about and consequently why they don't talk. I thought it was a vague excuse/reason why Roy was Jason's friend not Dick's anymore but this fic brought up when Dick was batman so I was wondering if there was actually a fight between them? Btw I really enjoy your metas! They're v thought out and well articulated. Also it's v easy to separate what's your opinion and what's fact which is. Very helpful for me

Yeah this is one hundred percent a fanon thing that's kept deliberately vague to justify why Roy in his friendship with Jason seems to have no positive thoughts or concerns about Dick whatsoever. Now granted, Dick and Roy are not nearly as close in the New 52 as they were pre-Reboot. The lack of their friendship there is definitely one of the things I disliked most about the Reboot - and I actually don't care if Jason and Roy are friends tbh, its the total erasure of his history with Dick as if he can't be friends with both, that like, bugs most.

But so like, yeah, Roy and Dick aren't super close when they interact on the Titans in the New 52, but there's literally nothing in any of their interactions that explains the complete absence of him from Roy's life or a reason that Roy would like, hate him the way he tends to in a lot of Jason-centric fics.

When you factor in pre-Reboot stuff though, it starts to get a LOT more.....uh wyd? And this is why I have trouble buying that people just write Roy and Jason the way they do because its the only thing they know from recent comics. Like one, most fans talk about how they don't even read the source comics, so there's no reason their knowledge of the characters or events would be limited to just recent comics if they're going off wiki summaries and scans anyway. And second, most fans AREN'T limited in their knowledge to just recent comics.

Like, the second people start writing Roy and Jason and Kori but with their pre-52 characterizations and references to events from THAT timeline, it all gets very messy, the way they're like, completely antagonistic towards Dick a lot of the time. Because Roy and Dick were always solid. Yes, they fought. A lot. But they always, ALWAYS made up afterwards. They had conflict about Roy's drug addiction - it didn't stop Dick from being there to support him through rehab, or Dick being the first person Roy called to help him get Lian after he learned of her existence. Dick literally held Lian before Roy ever did? He's the one who first put her in Roy's arms for the first time.

(Which is the prime grudge I and most Dick Grayson fans have about Roy and Jason fics which make Jason like, the absolute apple of Lian's eye. If you want to expand Lian's circle of loved and trusted ones to include Jason as Roy's friend and thus her uncle, like go for it! But there's zero reason that should require invalidating and erasing the fact that Dick was this little girl's adored godfather and uncle for pretty much her entire life. And the way Dick is just shoved offstage from Lian's life entirely, to slot Jason into his place as though they're completely interchangeable, its like....THAT'S the kind of thing that gets people irey about how Jason 'steals' Dick's dynamics and character relationships.

Because there's nothing saying they both can't be major players in Roy and Lian's lives! But just that they're not interchangeable! You need to develop the specific role Jason plays there WITHOUT just overwriting everything Dick actually did in relation to the two of them pre-Flashpoint, which is what you're drawing from the second you write Lian, unless you're specifically going with the few appearances we've had of her within literally just the last year.

But I mean, when people just search and replace Dick Grayson in all Roy and Lian's pre-Reboot stories and act like Jason was the one doing all of that instead.....why wouldn't fans of the source material be annoyed by a character getting credit for interactions and things done for Lian and Roy that Jason literally NEVER DID, while at the EXACT SAME TIME, conjuring some mysterious, unnamed 'Falling Out' that Roy and Dick had, that was clearly all Dick's fault, and resulted from him being basically excised entirely from Roy and Lian's lives?

Same with Kori, for the record, and like despite being Dick's ex, she and Dick have NEVER been like, estranged? She and Dick have often been close even after their breakup. None of it makes any sense, and the fact that a lot of fans don't even try to make it make sense or justify it, and expect other fans to just be fine with settling for an inexplicable reversal of Dick's every actual dynamic with these characters while setting up Jason to occupy the exact same role Dick played in these other characters' lives, like.....lol. Its fun.)

Anyway, back to your question, like, there are fights you can go with pre-Reboot as the source of various conflicts between Dick and Roy - but again, I maintain its just as crucial that they're always written as getting past them. They have a very tempestuous relationship because they are the two people MOST likely to call each other on their shit, two of the two people WITH the most shit in common due to the parallels in their childhoods and the roles they've occupied in the Titans and the superhero community in general, and the two people most resistant to being called out on their shit by each other, lol. Mostly in that case because like, they do recognize that they have a lot in common and understand each other very well, so the second the other is calling them out for something, they're usually like "ugh, if HE'S saying this, its probably true and I am just not prepared yet to be wrong about this. I need more time being unjustifiably rawr about things." Its like that thing where they both look at each other doing something that feels familiar or calls back to their own reasons for doing something and they're like ugh I'm in this picture and I don't like it.

So they clash. A lot. But always with the implicit bedrock of like, there's nothing either of them can do or say to the other that will push the other away for good.

They fought over Roy replacing Dick as leader of the Titans when Dick's wedding fell apart, even though Roy actually didn't want to do it and was kinda pushed into it by the government, but again, Dick like, got over it and realized it was for the best and forgave Roy for it that very same issue. And on and on. It always went like that. So there's plenty of stuff that can be used or pointed at as a source of conflict between the two, but the part I'll always call unbelievable is the idea that they never make up after one of these fights. Why now? What fight, specifically, is so bad between them that despite everything else they've gone through AND gotten past, they can't get past this one? Y'know?

So yeah, that's my take on this. There is no definitive falling out between Dick and Roy as many fics like to point to in order to shove him offscreen and make room for Jason in Roy and Lian's lives, and personally, I just don't find it necessary and I actually think it makes Roy look REALLY bad. Because when you're not specifically detailing all the things that Dick has actually DONE for Roy, the lengths to which he's been there for his friend, and like, specifically invalidating each and every one of them as something that never happened in a particular fic, then literally anyone who reads that fic and has their own awareness of Dick and Roy's friendship is kiiiiiinda likely to be reading that and thinking wow what an ungrateful asshole, when Roy's just written as bitching about Dick with Jason and sandbagging him without any real explanation as to WHY, beyond just 'oh they had a fight years ago.'

(And coming up with some random awful thing that Dick did to justify Roy hating him now isn't like, a superior alternative, lmao, because again, its still just trashing one character for the sake of getting him out of the way of two other characters' friendship and people are going to think what they think about that).

Anyway, my now standard stock disclaimer that like, there doesn't actually need to be a canon fight obviously, for people to just write things this way and handwave that Dick and Roy had an epic falling out years ago and now they just hate one another or whatever, or just Roy hates him or vice versa. Obviously people are free to do what they want. They don't need a reason other than "I want to write it this way so Jason and Roy are friends and Jason doesn't have to 'share' him with Dick or have his friendship be overshadowed by their greater history together." That just happens to be a reason that no Dick Grayson fan is ever really going to be happy about, lol, for what should be perfectly obvious reasons, so it honestly shouldn't be surprising to people that fans of the source material often gripe about it.

Because yeah fanfic is a tremendous opportunity to transform the source material into something better, but if what's better for some fans actively takes away what was working perfectly well for other fans the original way, they're going to say that. Especially in a fandom where so many new fans take their view of the characters and their dynamics from fics rather than the source material - when fandom has that much of an influence on what new fans perceive to be 'canon,' fans are perfectly within their right to emphasize what is ACTUALLY canon and what isn't, so that new fans at least have the opportunity to determine for themselves what take they want to go with, instead of just accepting at face value that the nature of say, Dick and Roy's relationship is just that Roy hates Dick because of some mumble mumble ancient history vague mumble details not found mumble mumble fight.

[bigskydreaming]

Do you ever feel like you're pushing a boulder up a hill defending characters against the same whole-hearted misinformation that keeps getting repeated again & again as if it's canon? I tried 4 times in a chat thread where people kept insisting that Dick Grayson and even the Teen Titans were jerks to Jason Todd when he was Robin. I don't know how you do it. No matter what you say, it just keeps going. No canon is ever enough. Why are some fans so set on the idea that everyone ostracized Jason?

Ooof yeah, that’s a whole barrel of annoying. The big gripe for me, in both my major fandoms, is that so much of the misinformation comes paired with this contradictory insistence on how much people don’t give a fuck about canon.....even while willfully trying to reinvent canon to say what they want it to say, in order to back up their version of events or take on various characters!

Its like, if you don’t give a fuck about canon, THEN DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT CANON. Don’t TELL me you don’t give a fuck about canon, and then GO OFF on how canon does all these things that canon most definitely does not do, thereby casting MUCH MUCH doubt upon your claims of not giving a fuck about canon, and suggesting that in fact, you do give quite a bit of fucks about canon, actually.

Y’know?

fahsklfhalfhkafl

But honestly, I’m not the person to give advice on this front because oof, I make bad choices here. LOLOLOL, no but for real, I can’t really tell you how to just deal with this because I’m like, I do not have mastery of that skillset myself. I have however long since exhausted myself of any illusions about CHANGING the minds of people who are particularly insistent upon things that never happened informing their particular view of characters, because like.....the reality is, people who come into fandoms emotionally invested in views of characters that they derived from other fics or fanons, like......it doesn’t matter that those things aren’t canon, what matters is their emotional investment in this particular fandom is entirely bound up in those particular views no matter WHERE they originated from, and so most of them aren’t changing their minds any time soon because they don’t WANT another viewpoint, their original one is the reason they’re here and invested in the first place. 

BUT at the same time, everybody wants to feel validated in their viewpoints, so the more that viewpoint is challenged by people being like uh no, here’s a thing that says you’re wrong, look, its here, its clear, the facts say shhhhhh the marketing campaign for all the Hateorade you’ve drunk about this character is based entirely on The Sky Is Green If We Say It Is logic.....the more people are like, determined to prove they’re right, even if their own personal conviction ORIGINALLY was not dependent on canon whatsoever and it only retroactively started mattering to them not as a source point for how they view characters but like, rather, a data point for Here’s How I Can Still Win This Argument.

And here’s where being in a comics fandom gets really fucking annoying:

Because there are so damn many comics.

And like, a lot of people in comics fandoms don’t even read the comics, and say so - and I mean, this is fine? If you’re here for the characters you don’t need to be here for the comics, so if you don’t actually like comics, like don’t read the comics, just read fic. Its whatever. BUT the bigger issue in my experience is like.....people arguing about comics canon even when they haven’t read the comics, like....often project onto everyone they’re arguing with, like, their own stance on comics.

What I mean by that is a lot of the people arguing about comics canon even when they proudly haven’t read a comic in their life because there are so many where would they even start and also, eww, I’m not doing all that.....like....there’s this presumption evident in a lot of arguments that the same holds true for everyone else in comics fandoms.....that none of the rest of us have read all those comics either, because how could anyone? There’s so many of them!

Forgetting of course, that many of us come into these fandoms from entirely different trajectories. If you come into a comics fandom because of fanfics, or a cartoon adaptation, or the movies.....upon your first day in fandom, when you look at all the comics canon that’s out there, you’re like holy shit that’s a lot, nobody could ever read all that, I’m certainly not going to read all that, I’m going back to fics.

BUT for those of us who came into these fandoms from the direction of reading the comics......our perspective was entirely different, because it was never some singular monolithic VASTNESS of unread comics that nobody could ever tackle because where would we even begin. For those of us who were reading comics for years or most of our lives......its been a handful of issues a month, month after month, year after year, rather than all in one sitting.

So the point of conflict becomes the presumption from a lot of fans who AREN’T here because of the comics, that comic book canon is this untapped cornucopia of potential validation, Schrodinger’s Canon, it can be basically whatever they want it to be, because who’s to say it ISN’T? If they can’t read all of that, nobody can read all of that, so when you think about it, its entirely plausible that the thing they insist happened in canon actually DID happen in canon, SOMEWHERE in all of that.....because just because they don’t know where it is and can’t point to it as explicitly existing, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist either. Who’s to say, really?

Well. Umm. People who in fact actually HAVE read all or most of the RELEVANT comics. Like yeah nobody’s read every comic ever I bet, lolol, but for lifelong DC readers, canon ISN’T this vast uncharted territory that can potentially contain everything.....its actually quite charted, and there are people who absolutely do know what it does and does not contain.

And this I think is at the heart of the insistence on particular points of argument, like Jason was always perpetually mistreated and Dick and the Titans hated him on sight and that’s why the Knights of the Order of Protection for the Smol Jason Bean hate Dick, because he was a giant jerkface to a little kid who never did anything to him ever. Like it doesn’t matter how much we point out that no, this did not in fact happen and is untrue, COMPLETELY, like.....people who came into fandom because of fics about Jason in which the entire perspective upon his character is uniformly, with virtually no exception, that he was scapegoated by Dick from Day One and he and Dick will always be eternally at odds because of the remnants of what a jerk and failure of a brother Dick was to him at first.......like, I feel like there’s this conviction lying underneath all those arguments, no matter how much canon they’re presented with, that there still exists out there SOMEWHERE, some untapped treasure trove of panels proving what a buttface Dick was to his first little brother, validating everything they’ve ever believed and thought ever, because look all those depictions of Dick being a giant assbutt to Jason in fics had to come from SOMEWHERE after all, didn’t they?

Well, yeah. They did come from somewhere. They came from the writers who wrote those fics that way because they either just hated Dick’s character or they were working through their own sibling angst and projected certain dynamics onto the characters or someone told them this is what things were like in the comics and they didn’t know any different or just didn’t care or a hundred million other possible reasons for why they wrote them that way with none of those reasons being Cuz Canon Said So.....and then those particular depictions caught on and multiplied fruitfully like the offspring of rabbits doing it sans contraceptives.

Because its not like “perpetual black sheep of the family so unfairly hated, so misunderstood, especially by the family’s favored son, the golden boy” is a fan favorite trope on its own, regardless of whether or not the characters said trope is applied to actually FIT that trope.

So in the end, the painful irony was not only did canon have nothing to do with that trend, canon COULD do nothing about that trend, because the reasons people turned to it, despite how often canon gets brought into it....really had nothing to do with canon.

So tbh, my personal stance these days is the best defense to fic-borne and originating views of the characters and their dynamics is NOT canon, its....more fic. Fic that presents a counter-narrative to the ones that are so often the first thing people see when they enter fandom, and thus become engrained as Truth. So that there’s at least more variety out there, because where there’s variety, there’s varied points of view, and the more people internalize THAT, that there are variations to be found in how these characters relate to each other and their shared histories......the more people have to make a CHOICE about what variations they most want to adhere to, from among the OPTIONS they’re presented with, instead of just doubling down on the first thing that clicks for them, no opposition in sight.

And if these counter “Dick’s just the worst like what an uber asshole gonna give a five star rating for Sucking At Life to that guy” fics happen to be inspired largely by canon rather than fanon like....oh no, how strange and unknowable, that’s not the Process, we’re doing it wrong but hey whatever.

But does that mean its not still frustrating as hell to see people just parroting the Dick and the Titans were mean to Jason truism as fact, especially when you know damn well its not? Hell no. That’s annoying as fuck. But don’t worry so much about trying to change peoples’ minds, I say, and instead just find people who ARE open to canon or familiar with it, and just have a good rant. Its fun!

 Here, I’ll start:

UGH AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT THIS WHOLE “DICK WAS SUCH A JERK TO JASON AND THE TITANS ALL FOLLOWED HIS LEAD” CRAPOLA SUMMER SALES EVENT:

Where would that even have happened???

Like what really chuffs my chopped onions here is when people are so suuuuuuuure that the gatekeepers of comic book fandom are keeping the real juicy anti-Dick panels hidden every time they ask “Hey Siri show me proof Dick’s a jerkmonster to Jason”....because like...they’re just SO SURE these panels are out there and its like lololol but where would they even come from? 

Because everybody overlooks that in proper Dickens fashion, pre-Flashpoint Jason was a Tale of Two Jasons, the pre-Crisis adorable child of sunshine and whee, and the post-Crisis I have smoker’s lung at age twelve Jason......and these two Jasons can and do and are MEANT to co-exist within the same body! They’re the same Jason, in hindsight!

See, post-Crisis Jason only existed for like, less than TWO YEARS real world time, before A Death in the Family! People have this assumption that because of how rock-solid the post-Crisis origin for him is and how solidly that’s informed his characterization and stories moving forward, like.....there was this HUGE foundation for it back in the day that was built upon.....but no! We’re talking like, less than twenty four issues IN TOTAL. Post-Crisis Jason was a drop in the bucket compared to pre-Crisis Jason.

So why then, is post-Crisis Jason so much more firmly cemented in peoples’ minds than pre-Crisis Jason even though pre-Crisis Jason had way more material written about him?

Because for once in DC’s existence, they were SMART about a retcon. They didn’t TRY to pit post-Crisis Jason versus pre-Crisis Jason and make people pick between them. Post-Crisis Jason wasn’t an attempt at overwriting pre-Crisis Jason and making it so he never existed. Instead, what they did with their limited amount of time writing post-Crisis Jason was overwrite only two stories specifically: his actual pre-Crisis origin, and how he and Dick first met....and then they let everything else from pre-Crisis stay! It just got folded IN BETWEEN Jason’s new post-Crisis origin and everything that came after that, thanks to some handy non-linear storytelling and flashbacks.

So rather than Jason having two entirely separate storylines and directions, they still kept him at just one....and his post-Crisis origin and A Death in the Family became BOOKENDS surrounding not just the twenty issues in between those two stories......but ALSO surrounding ALL the pre-Crisis issues featuring Jason.....including the times he interacted with Dick and the Titans.

And that’s why there’s no untapped treasure trove of potentially vilifying issues showcasing Dick being such a can of Jerkola to Jason.......

Because post-Crisis only amounted to a grand total of like twenty something issues.....in which Jason interacted with Dick once and only once....the issue which ends with Dick giving Jason his blessing as Robin, his costume, and his phone number to call him if he ever has any problems with Bruce.

But simultaneously, because all those pre-Crisis issues still existed, were still relevant, were still in continuity (as evidenced by Jason himself when he came back as the Red Hood and fought Tim at Titans Tower, referencing how he was briefly a Titan himself.......aka those issues in which he teamed up with the Titans, which ONLY happened before his new origin)....we similarly know that it wasn’t like Dick and Jason never had any contact after their first post-Crisis encounter....we just never saw Jason use that phone number on the page AFTER that issue (because again, there was no time before he was killed off in the comics TO engineer another on the page meet-up, like both characters were busy in unrelated stories in the course of the mere year between that issue and ADITF). BUT by the power of retcon, we do know that Jason still must have used it at some point, or else Dick reached out to him again at some later point off the page......because Dick and Jason’s easy familiarity with each other pre-Crisis STILL EXISTED AS WELL. They had a sibling relationship post-Crisis because they had a sibling relationship pre-Crisis...AND IT WAS THE SAME RELATIONSHIP.

And this is Part Two of why no untapped treasure trove of Jerk Dick and Poor Jason panels exists......because other than that one post-Crisis issue, all their other interactions hail from the pre-Crisis era....where Dick adored Jason and so did the rest of the Titans.

Jason wasn’t resentful of the Titans or scared of them or nursing grudges, he thought getting to hang out with his big brother’s friends WAS THE COOLEST FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD and you could practically see him bouncing on the page the times it happened. He glowed when Dick would ruffle his hair playfully or compliment him, and the Titans’ collective energy towards Jason was very much OH OUR FRIEND’S BABY BRO IS THE MOST ADORABLE SMALL CHILD EVER AND WE WILL PROTECT HIM WITH OUR LIVES.

Like people WILLFULLY misconstrue this one issue where Jason teamed up with the Original Titans other than Dick for a mission against Cheshire, and claim like “oh see, this is the proof that the Titans were mean to Jason because of Dick, they kept giving him shit for not being Dick and hated him for replacing Dick....” which omg noooooooooooo, that is so odiously NOT what happened in that issue. First off, NOBODY blamed Jason for replacing Dick back then, because at the time those issues were written, he DIDN’T....this was when Dick had given Robin to Jason himself, when choosing to move on as Nightwing. And even RETROACTIVELY looking at this issue in light of the retcon where Dick was fired as Robin, this STILL changes nothing about Dick and Jason’s dynamic at this particular time or how the rest of the Titans would have viewed Jason as of this issue.....because that’s where the post-Crisis issue specifically writing Dick and Jason’s new introduction to each other on the page matters so much. As now the ultimate takeaway is even while not making Jason Robin himself, this issue STILL showed Dick giving Jason his blessing.....thus maintaining and stabilizing every pre-Crisis interaction between Jason and the Titans and ensuring that this whole “they resented him on Dick’s behalf” scenario wouldn’t throw any retroactive curveballs into how they were with Jason...because now there still was no need for anything on Dick’s behalf, as far as Jason was concerned, because Dick had given his A-Ok.

So that just flat out never happened, not originally, pre-Crisis, and not even in hindsight after the post-Crisis retcons were factored in, because the HOW of the post-Crisis retcons specifically factored in an avoidance of this potential tangle.

And in fact, what DID happen in the arc where Jason teamed up with the Titans without Dick, to go up against Cheshire.......is that Donna, who was in charge of the team at the time, kept trying to defer to Jason-as-Robin, because subconsciously she was insecure about her leadership at the time and having a Robin at her side was making her think of when Dick had been in that role, and simultaneously been their leader, and thus she was trying to lean into the familiar comforts of being able to turn to a Robin for direction.

And Jason CALLED HER OUT ON THIS. Politely. And cutely. No for real it was adorable. But like, he did it with poise and self-confidence and deliberation, and SHE HEARD HIM. She snapped out of it. Jason laid out exactly what she was doing and why and Donna was like oh shit, you’re right, I HAVE been doing that. And Jason was like, and that’s not fair to me. And Donna was like no, you’re absolutely right, that isn’t fair to you, I’m sorry. And Jason’s like, I can’t be the leader here, I don’t have the experience that Dick does. But you do, and you can be the leader. And Donna was like. You’re three for three kiddo, damn you’re good at this.

AND THEN THEY WENT AND KICKED BAD GUY ASS TOGETHER AND EVERYTHING WAS HUNKY-DORY BECAUSE THE POINT OF THAT ENTIRE PLOT WAS NOT “EVERYONE IS MEAN TO POOR JASON BECAUSE DICK MADE A CONSPIRACY OF MEANNESS” IT WAS “JASON’S A KICK-ASS LITTLE GO-GETTER WHO KNOWS HIS STRENGTHS AND HIS STRENGTH IS TELLING PEOPLE WHEN THEY’RE BEING DUMB AND THEY NEED TO STOP THAT.”

Okay, one caveat here. I must confess, its killing me....there is ONE Titan who was a jerk to Jason.

But uh....that Titan was Hank Hall aka Hawk. And he’s a jerk to everybody. Its kinda his superpower.

And he most certainly didn’t do it on Dick’s behalf, as Hank hates Dick and Dick hates Hank asfhilfhalfhalf. Seriously, they’re basically the hateship that ppl keep trying to make Dick and Jason into, only without the incest makes it spicy or whatever element, but like, if you’re not hung up on that and can ship people without them being related, oh no, oh woe, oh say it ain’t so, like, DickHank is the unsung hateship of dreaaaaaaaaaaams. They’re like:

Hank: As it is a day ending in y, I feel now is the perfect time to let you know, without prompting, that I hate your guts because people like you. And I hate people and everything they like, on account of people are the worst.

Dick: Well, you’re people, and you’re the worst, so that tracks.

Hank: So we’re agreed. I hate you. You hate me.....

Dick: Our hate is so in harmony.

Donna: What is even happening here and do I want to know.

Roy: In reverse order, no, probably not, and I’m not sure, but I THINK they’re getting hate married, and exchanging vows to hate each other in sickness and in health, forever and ever.

Wally: *skidding around corner* I CALL BEST MAN.

Donna: Its not a real wedding Wally.

Roy: Idk they seem pretty serious about it. Which means the best man position should be valid here, which means it should be me, because suck it West, only way you’ll ever be Dick’s best man is over my dead body.

Wally: Get ready to throw down then, Robin Hood, and just call me the Sheriff of Notachanceinhell, that best man position is MINE.

Garth: Whoa, hold up, I have an agreement IN WRITING from when we were THIRTEEN for Dick and I to be each other’s best men at our weddings, so I’m gonna need you both to stand down, I LITERALLY CALLED DIBS. Look. ITS IN WRITING.

Donna: Oh for fuck’s sake, you collective pluralization of buffoons, STOP TREATING THIS AS A REAL THING. ITS NOT A REAL THING.

Dick, eyes dead-locked on Hank: Oh this is real Donna. This is happening.

Hank, stepping forward, eyes equally locked: I have never been more serious about anything in my life. 

Lilith: Sure, you’ve only both saved the world but hey why should that matter. This is definitely the real shit.

Hank: Please. I only did that to prove I could do it better than Dick could. I hate the world.

Dick: Aww, and did you cry yourself to sleep when that flopped?

Hank: Wouldn’t know. It didn’t happen.

Donna: I swear by every god on Mt. Olympus, the first one of you to say I know you are but what am I is getting flung into orbit.

Anyway. I might have gotten distracted somewhere in there. What was your question again and did I answer it? I think I did....fahlkfhaklfhalhfa.