#[ gave me back my emotions ]

[suntails]

dance of dreams

#THEYRE SPINNIIIING THEYRE TWIIIIIRLING JUST LIKE IM TWIRLIIIING MY HAAAAAIR blink blink blink blink. hi :3 #im not taking back the :3 its how i feel dammit. its REAL RAW EMOTION u gotta accept it. en ee wayz #so 7.3 eng drop huh. yea so um. i . so u remember how the initial drop made me go insano mode and i drew 5 pieces in 4 days? #so it wasnt done. the second drop gave me one more to draw. its the THEM chapters its mals rage when hes like 'YOURE AWAKE??' #the TENSION!!! the DRAMA!!!! oh i am SICK my heart SKIPS!!! the two guys with dream powers fighting ougughh made just for me #made in a LAB for miss cartoons!!!!!! made in a lab for ME!!!!! silver's eye is a lil bit open if u look close. mal will find out soon #IM SICK SICK SICK SICK AND TWISTED MY BRAIN IS RATTLING LIKE A JUNKER CAR U BOUGHT AT 16 FOR 400 BUCKS #twst #twisted wonderland #twst silver #malleus draconia #the overblot fit still sucks to draw but goddammit ill do what i must. also yippee i dont hafta tag spoilers for once FGHJD #suntails

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

I've been reading Exodus lately and I've just gotten to the portions where God gives the first commands to the people via Moses (twice), and then goes on to give detailed instructions about the tabernacle and how it should be built, and I'm just... we think art is unimportant?? we think things only mean as much as their functionality?? we so easily fall into the trap of believing that beauty means nothing, that it's cheap and only worth whatever mindless distraction it brings, that it's barely more than a cheap sensual thrill, that buildings should just be practical and plain and cheap, that everything should be functional but ultimately disposable, that paintings and dresses and mugs and curtains and carpets are just pretty but have no real value, that beauty is fleeting and vain and therefore shouldn't be thought about too much, if even looked for at all... we fall into these traps so easily, and we forget that there are chapters upon chapters of painstakingly detailed plans to build one portable worship tent, and those plans have been handed down through thousands of years of human history, because beauty and art and skill in craft is important

#I have to go get ready for work now but I will come back to this #and don't even get me started on the parts about God calling specific craftsmen *by name* #he called them!! by name!!! he said 'this man is good at his job. he creates beautiful work. he will build my temple and make it beautiful' #and even more--God inspired him!!!! it was a calling of GOD for him to create beautiful carvings and tapestries and candlesticks!!! #look even if you're not jewish or christian or religious at all you have GOT to see what it means that all these incredibly detailed plans #for building this tent-temple are extremely important #because even if you don't believe in God and don't think that this is all significant bc he personally gave the instructions #and then helped preserve this record of them so we could still read them today #you do have to see how important they were to the people of that time who first wrote them down #and the extreme care that was taken to record all of those detail #AND the fact that it's been preserved for so long and we can still read all the care that was put into creating this incredible piece #of artwork and worship they made #gurt says stuff #I just. gahhfhhfj. I'm feeling emotional about chapters of the Bible that I can't even fully force myself to pay attention to #bc there's so MUCH and I'm bad at visualizing this stuff and I tend to zone out while listening to it #but the fact that it IS that much!!! that there SO MUCH DETAIL and it goes on for SO LONG that I even struggle to pay attention!!! #that this was THAT IMPORTANT to the people who wrote it and to God!!! as an artist and someone who has always cared about art #this means so much to me ok #christianity #bible verse #bible thoughts #exodus #art #theology

[batbabydamian]

so, Batman #147… rambling about the difference in how Zdarsky portrays the two current Robins

this is a fantastic run for Tim, and very much written like a return to form of what plenty consider the best dynamic duo, but even more so "the best Robin". once Damian's introduced in this run, Zdarsky really makes sure you still know that lol

1. "We don't need anyone else" VS "I need my family"

#147 clearly exemplifies the contrast, so i'll go through it first. Damian, having fallen for Zurr's lie and accepted him as the real Bruce, goes so far as to say in the very first page "We don't need anyone else." it's cold colors, machinery, and hollow declarations of "father and son" for these two.

towards the ending, Tim has deduced where the real Bruce is hiding and brings him food expecting Bruce's knack for self-neglect. it's all warmth, sunshine, and mutual understanding - also a cute back and forth of "Batman and Robin" between them. on top of this, where Damian isolates Batman & Robin from family, Tim is the one to remind Bruce about "helping each other." Bruce heartily agrees with "I need my family" for a weighty end.

along with this parallel, from #138 Tim makes it clear that even in opposition, he's only ever trying to help Bruce. Damian was still on the wrong side with Zurr-induced-Bruce here at the time too 😭

2. Tim's independence as both a hero and partner

Tim is written as the ideal Robin to Bruce's Batman, and has made Robin its own independent hero on equal footing rather than a sidekick - it's made in statements by both Tim and Bruce, and through the entire narrative. he takes initiative and tries to foresee what would ultimately help Bruce. beyond being great partners, there's many bits showing their emotional connection ("i'm scared of being lost, but i'm more scared of losing you, Bruce" hit me like a bag of bricks). tbh this almost could be a Batman and Robin run lol

added the first panel from #126 of Tim declaring he's his own hero outside of Bruce, proven plenty especially in his backups in #131-134!! the other panels are a few highlights from #128, #130, and #135 of the partnership between Tim and Bruce

granted it's Zurr, but Damian is mostly seen following orders and given pensive looking panels when there's something concerning. While Tim continued to represent Batman's ideals during his own solo quest to find Bruce, Damian doesn't question or take action against "Bruce's" sudden shift in ethics

Batman #134 Backup - Tim showing support toward Toyman VS Batman #146 - Zurr and Damian confront Harley as she pleads about her change of heart

another kiinda parallel in #147 is Bruce acknowledging Tim's hard work to become Robin compared to Damian who's out here going Batman and Robin/Father and Son. i don't think it's an intended parallel but just the state of continuing to show Tim in a better light - Tim put in the effort "to become the second-best Robin" while Damian is Robin because..."son." supposedly less effort on his part too, because LOA.

second pic is from Batman/Catwoman The Gotham War: Scorched Earth, felt fitting to add since Tim mentions needing to "know everything" in both. and the humble brag. which ofc Tim believes Dick is the best!! but also. jic we didn't know Tim is the best current Robin sdfgh

3. Damian's blind loyalty as "Bruce's son"

there's a weight to the Robin title when regarding Tim, whereas Damian's "Robin" role is excess and counterintuitive. he's delegated to desperate sidekick to Bruce, as well as becoming an obstacle to the family. being Robin only seems significant to Damian in how it ties himself to his father, and his single Robin quality is a loyalty that's been written to an extreme fault. the only positive angle i could see this in is Zdarsky aiming to put Damian in a sympathetic light in how far Damian was willing to fall to stay by his father's side, hence, fooled by that nightmare story/confession. the problem with this is that we have not seen a single emotional connection between the two in this run, so why should we care about that relationship.

also, Damian constantly bringing up his position as Bruce's son just makes him look entitled? since Bruce rightfully expressed his claim of having the others as his sons too (with the unfortunate exclusion of his daughter)! so it's like a "lol you're not that special" vibe when looking at it from the outside?? ykw concerning #138, Damian saying "You're the one trying to destroy my father" also could have been in contrast to Tim saying "We'll help our dad" at the end.

Zdarsky seems to believe the only meaningful part of Damian being Robin is he's the son of Bruce, and not a single nod to any noble aspect Damian's achieved beyond that. we're constantly reminded of Tim's greatest hits as Robin, from taking on the mantle to pull Bruce out of darkness (#135, #138), mastermind a whole takedown (Gotham War: Scorched Earth), and always being on the same wavelength with Bruce etc. the entire run sings Tim's praise, and it's deserved!! my problem is how it's in stark contrast to Damian's portrayal of being the other Robin who's only special because he believes he's the greatest son and wants to be at Bruce's side.

so all this to say, if your fav is Tim YOU'RE EATING WELL!! personally as a chronic enjoyer of things, this has been an entertaining run! as a chronic enjoyer of Damian, it's definitely not for many of his fans at this point in time.

i did like this part!! his grin!!

#rambling #i'm not v good explaining things besides yelling about how cute Damian is but hopefully the observations are clear enough #instead of an essay i think i should pull up a conspiracy board of all the panels/lines and post it notes of my points #bc writing this has made me go cross eyed trying to verbalize parallels and differences 😭 #like. Tim's Robin moments are stunners!! kickass or emotional scenes with or without Bruce!! #then Damian acts like everyone is beneath him and Bruce...when they've barely had any meaningful dialogue with eo #gave Zdarsky the benefit of doubt that Damian was pulling something similar to Morgan Ducard #but ofc that would mean he actually cared about any of Damian’s comics outside of his intro with Morrison 😭 #i don't think Zdarsky hates Damian exactly just that he's a convenient character to use as a parallel since there's two Robins ALTHOUGH #thinking of the Batman sketch by Jorge or Zdarsky?? ITS A BLUR at NYCC and Zdarsky added a word bubble with 'Tim is the Best Robin' or smth #he wants to remind ppl of that every so often. like in the batman run. i wouldn't mind it if he wasn't putting my fav against that #especially when they're sharing the title but alas! #this run could be a great sendoff to Tim's Robin era and gaining a new title... or this is all Zdarsky fanboy lol which is fair #ANYWAY BACK TO WHIMSY!! TO DILLY DALLYING AND SHILLY SHALLYING!!

[tinybro]

jasico server was chatting about the cupid scene and jason getting nico's memories blasted straight into his brain and how jason being shot with one of cupid's arrows while with nico and this was just never brought up in canon again and now i'm thinking like...what if that's just how cupid's arrows work? not by magically manifesting love for someone out of nothing, but by giving someone the perspective that'd make them fall in love naturally? jason gets a front row seat to nico's memories and instantly understands him intimately and can trust him completely without any doubt or suspicion

so what if jason, after slowly realizing he's totally in love with nico, just thought back to the arrow incident and it made him second-guess everything? because maybe he's only feeling this way because cupid hit him with an arrow with only nico was around and it's no different than any other god messing with his love life

#i live for anything that drags out the pining/pre-relationship period as long as possible okay #give me the drama of jason frustrated about constantly being manipulated by gods #in love with nico but convinced it's just cupid fucking with him and not wanting nico to get dragged into it #maybe telling nico eventually because he's having trouble hiding his feelings and he doesn't wanna hurt nico by confusing him #which is of course an emotional rollercoaster for nico #hearing jason say he's in love with him only to then immediately hear that it's just godly fuckery #nico agreeing to help jason find cupid to get it reversed because he knows how much it sucks having feelings for someone unwillingly #and he doesn't want jason stuck mooning over someone like him just because he was unkucky enough to be with nico for the cupid incident #whole quest in which nico develops feelings in return and angsts because he's sure jason only feels that way because of the arrow #maybe a slip-up in the middle somewhere with nico accidentally revealing he likes jason back before backpedaling wildly #so now jason has hope despite himself because he'd never really thought it was possible anyway given nico's feelings for percy #and he doesn't like being manipulated by gods but he doesn't mind the idea of being in love with nico #and what if he just gave up on the hunt for cupid entirely and let it happen #while nico feels guilty since clearly it's just cupid arrow magic fucking with jason and he's enabling it #and then of course when they finally find cupid he explains how his arrows work and that he can't just FORCE someone to be in love #no more than hera could with jason and piper by fucking with their memories to push them together #cupid's methods are just way more effective #my tag babble ended up longer than the actual post oh my god #pjo #jasico #my dumb headcanons

[harmorii]

*wipes tear* not crying, just got sousou no frieren in my eye

#anime so good it gave me the courage to get back to the manga #wish it hadnt tbh i keep getting hit by emotional dmg #sousou no frieren #frieren beyond journey's end #frieren anime #himmel #himmel the hero #frieren #my art #art #fanart #ibispaintx

[hiboulu]

⚠Novel spoilers⚠

The comic is about that arc so spoilers up to chapter 304!

And the next drawing is about chapter 327 (with a screenshot of that escene because it just hurt a lot,,,)

#tged spoilers #the greatest estate developer spoilers #tged #the greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera #javier asrahan #my art #the fact that javier first thought was that lloyd could choose to stay in seoul and not come back so he was ready to drag him back #and lloyd all but wanted to just go and return as quick as possible while having a fear of getting stranded #that being said. im still not okay from the emotional damage the jewel of truth arc gave me #no i will not shut up about lloyd thinking 'was my existence itself a nuisance?' that chapter destroyed me

[aroacettorney]

do not let caseys sunshiness distract you from the fact that she is just as much emotionally constipated as ludger.

#academy's undercover professor spoilers #academy's undercover professor #casey selmore #the fact that casey has never told anyone including betty and terinna about delica/memory storming events is so wild to me #like girlie why r u suffering from all that by urself #ppl hating on casey for having negative EQ but that only reflects how much emotional support she usually gets from others #case in point: marias selmore #wouldnt surprise me if casey has never trusted to emotionally open up to anyone ever again when its her own family treating her like that #in her entire life casey is close to only 4 ppl but they are either: #1) her sister who historically sucks #2) bestie no. 1 who is almost always swarmed with work #3) bestie no. 2 who once again gave her trust and abandonment issues #4) bestie no. 3 who is not even a human but an automaton also learning how to deal with her own emotions #not to mention to maintain her reputation as a renowned detective she must have been neglecting her own emotional needs #casey selmore my beloved just because you dont look at it doesnt mean it is not there #casey tryna brush off her emotions after the memory storming and seek to solve the problem logically like a thinker she is but #she didnt realise that she was just delaying the inevitable and so the basara arc hit her like a truck + left her bedridden for a month 💀 #caseys apologies to ludger only really solved the problem on logical terms #but there is never any emotional closure between them bc they are both painfully emotionally constipated so back to suffering we go 💀💀💀 #lesson learnt from ludgercasey angst galore: stop trying to solve emotional problems with logics

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads / storygraph

Something More

YA contemporary about a Palestinian-Canadian girl starting high school, navigating new crushes and accepting her recent autism diagnosis

#something more #jackie kalilieh #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this is pretty good! #obv it’s not my kind of book but having an autistic MC made it a lot less frustrating than a similar book with an allistic MC would be imo #I thought it was a great representation of a low support needs autistic teen girl #and like. embracing her autism but also it's not the only thing the book is about #Was a bit exhausting the way she keeps going back to this guy even though he’s kinda shitty #though I guess it felt quite transparent that the narrative is partly about recognising unhealthy relationships & what mistakes you should #forgive and what are ongoing patterns. and most of the relationships are like different examples of that #so like that gave me a bit of a step back from all the drama and stuff that would have otherwise annoyed me too much #because it was obvious that that was the point of all that #I think it would have been good to have developed her relationship with her grandmother - 3/4 through something happens #and it has pretty much no emotional punch because I was like wait. she has a grandmother? #Maybe that would have made it too sad when it’s mostly a lighthearted romance but like. you could have made the thing more of just a scare

[dreamlogic]

#chronic blogging #current emotion #post-hysto pain has been getting steadily worse over the last month & is now accompanied by near constant nausea #can't even do my PT stretches anymore bc of how bad it hurts #so on monday i finally had a FUCK IT IT'S TANTRUM TIME #and checked myself into urgent care for severe abdominal pains #which finally fucking FINALLY resulted in a referral for a second opinion from a different gyno surgeon #who i hope will finally run the ultrasound & CT scan i've been begging other healthcare providers for for months #THERE IS SOMETHING EXTREMELY WRONG WITH MY BODY AND NOBODY IS LISTENING TO ME AND I'M FED UP WITH PRETENDING #THAT EVERYTHING IS WITHIN NORMAL PARAMETERS AND I JUST NEED TO BE PATIENT FOR HEALING & PRACTICE SELF CARE #watching the urgent care PA's face journey as i explained my symptoms how long i've had them & how apathetic my surgeon's response has been #was so incredibly vindicating & cathartic. she gave me a tactful 'i don't necessarily agree with that assessment......' #told me i have already been doing everything she would've recommended & we're long overdue for a second opinion since it isn't helping #and gave me her blessing to go pitch a fit in the ER if my symptoms get any worse before my appointment with the new surgeon #i'm EXHAUSTED and i'm SCARED and it's ABOUT GODDAMN TIME someone in medicine listened to me & took me seriously #been hovering in the 4-7 range on this chart for a disgusting amount of time. now i'm locked in at 8+ and not backing down

[marswasnothere]

I always save a fuck tonne of photos and videos when I join a new fandom and task myself to make folders organising them all, and I had that going to joker out but stopped near the end of July because I thought “oh I’ll just do it later”, and that later ended up coming in November.

So here’s the joker out compendium, containing any and all photos, videos, and edits containing joker out members.

#joker out #bojan cvjetićanin #honourary tag bc he’s in the photo #käärijä #got a blast to the past when going back to eurovision era #god I miss it #I’m praying esc24 will be like it #gonna go back and read the fics from May/June #OH MY GOD WHATS THAT ONE THAT GOT TO CHAPTER 9 OUT OF 10 AND NEVER FINISHED #THE FAKE DATING ONE IT GAVE ME SO MUCH EMOTIONAL TURMOIL

[grumpy-nyks]

The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - Davor edition

I-I think Ms. Verner doesn't like him...😳

Davor "Dove" Kovač 🐝 RO: Becca Warrick

Personality: cautious // aloof // pessimistic // flirtatious (only towards Becca ...and Reese??) Traits: head // independent // resistance // believer Past affinity: math Primary ability: extrasensory awareness Past susceptibility: forward. 'it’s better to push forward. don’t look back on the past when you have new places to be and things to achieve.' <<< his motto

🕊️ Fernweh: Davor lived a happy life there and didn't think about leaving in the future. Maybe for some trips, but he knew it would always be his place, his safe place... 'It was a mistake to come back here.' - that was his first thought when he tried to fall asleep on the first night in Fernweh. The nightmares came back as he thought they would. He wants to leave as soon as possible because he feels that it is not safe for Becca to be here.

🕊️ Gramps Dan: That was his gramps who taught Davor how to play the guitar. As a young child, Davor always admired him and believed he was the most intelligent person in the world. After the death of his parents and how his grandfather treated him, he was devastated and angry. He wanted answers soo badly but didn't get any. He lived loathing his grandfather ever since. The news of his passing stirred up a lot of negative emotions that Davor had previously managed to suppress. At the beginning of the story he couldn't care less about his grandfather, but because of his journal he started to believe him. Things that his granfather lived through made Davor even more angry at this messy town …but he's willing to forgive his gramps…

🐝 Becca Warrick: It was a ...funny story that brought both of them together and they look after each other ever since. He considers Becca as his precious (not in a negative-possessive way) treasure, he literally can't let anything bad happen to her. That was also she who came up with the nickname 'Dove'... (and she's literally the only person who calls him that, others wouldn't dare...). He had feelings for her for quite some time but didn't act on it... until now. Although he didn't express it, he felt very nervous about Becca being in the town where he grew up. He was curious (but also scared) about what she could think of this town. He felt like he was revealing more of himself to her…. and he forgot about any worries pretty fast, because the town started being weird as fu--.

🕊️ Reese Verner: Back then Davor was quite cheerful and enjoyed competing with Reese regularly. They teased each other a lot. Davor always thought that Reese had a crush on him, was it true tho? donut know, but he certainly had. ...why does he appear in his nightmares? Maybe the crush stage never disappeared...? Seeing him again was a nice experience, sure... but ignoring the circumstances, he is still unsure if it was worth it and is struggling with his thoughts… Would it be worth it to return to Fernweh just to see him... again? welp, good thing he doesn't have to think about it much, am I right?

🕊️ Sofia Dorran: The two of them maybe did not have a strong relationship, but he knew Sofia is the ideal person for engaging in intelligent conversations. He enjoyed spending time with her, solving the puzzles that gramps created for them both. Davor wasn't a fan of fantasy books, but she managed to change his mind about them. Davor knows that Sofia did take good care of his grandfather, but he still doesn't quite know if he's grateful for that or wished she spent her time more... valuably... He was tempted to ask Sofia to borrow that book she found in his grandfather's bedroom, but he thought better of it. It's better to leave Fernweh… Even so, his curiosity wasn't properly fed.

🕊️ James Corvin: Maybe not brothers by blood, but definitely brothers by choice. Davor treated him as if he was the brother he always wanted to have. Back then Davor always placed a high value on his family… until now. At the time, Davor tended to be more impulsive and James was usually the one who kept him from getting into trouble (which often involved Reese). It was really hard, for both of them, to see each other after so long. Their first interaction was pretty awkward... I would even say that most of their interactions were . James noticed how Davor changed the question is: for the better or worse? I don't even know. Everyone can sense, that things around them are different now, and they aren't as close as before. Will it change?

🕊️ Alek Corvin: …To say that Alek wasn't a fan of Davor would be an understatement. Was it because James spent most of his time focusing only on Davor trying to get him out of trouble? Did Alek observe any possessiveness from Davor towards James? Or maybe simply because of the bond between those two, which was truly something that others would envy and desire? Davor never considered it, especially when he left Fernweh permanently. :)) As you can imagine, Alek doesn't seem very happy about Davor's return… But he took an interest in his new friend, Becca, which did not go unnoticed by Davor and he isn't really happy about it.

🕊️ The Waitress: Oh boy, it seems that Davor has taken up a new hobby, which is glaring harshly at the waitress. He finds her mistrustful and he smells trouble. Had they met when he was younger, there may have been a slim chance of them getting along.

🕊️ Waffles!: So um… Davor has a little issue with dogs and because of that his relationship with Waffles isn't as wonderful as I wish it would be... However, I believe that with time and help from Becca, they will eventually become friends.

#actually about his scar i have this whole headcanon... featuring some...umm.. doggos and Becca... 👀 especially how they met #(Davor was always team cats but after that incident even more xD) #also ouch that naming scene it hurt me so much! but i get it ;; aaaa! Davor why are you being so problematic Waffles is wonderful!!! #it was really interesting for me to messing with Davor in nightmares and showing him Reese!! the feelings the emotions aaaa #also yeeaah Davor thought several times if it would be a good idea to come back to Re-- *cough* Fernweh... and then Becca happened... #generally speaking Davor has a keen interest in Slavic mythologies and culture particularly those from western and southern regions of- #-Europe. I imagine that his father has roots in these regions and he took great pride in his heritage. Often taking about it to Davor #...and since Sofia's a smart girl she lent Davor a fantasy book written by Slavic author who took a great inspiration from Slavic myths👼😊 #yes it was enough to change Davor's mind about fantasy books XD he never really read one before he just assumed it's BORING! #and now I'm sure he will throw questions at Sofia about this book she found even more since he's staying at Fernweh... I can imagine how- #-they both are staying up late studying it and comparing their notes... it would remind Davor about the time they were kids- #-it seems that his Gramps gave them both the last puzzle to solve... will they succeed? #and ooohh that will be a hard time for James and Davor... that rejection at the end of book one wont help them im sure XD #about Davor's 'possesivenes' over James... Davor was needy that's true but he would never think about 'stealing' James from Alek or- #-'claiming' James belongs to him. I hope im not crossing a line here but in my headcanon Alek was TOTALLY jealous over their friendship #and Alek THOUGHT that Davor was receiving more attention from James 👀 #//which obv isn't true because James would never allow it. Alek is always a number one in James' heart// #in mine too I love A!!!! 💖 they're a BABY #but i must say that Davor didn't really think about Alek's feelings back then. he wasn't aware how Alek could feel- that's not an excuse #super curious about book two and how his relationships with every single one of them will develop!!! #fernweh saga #oc: davor kovac #no i totally did NOT change his surname..

[astridthevalkyrie]

everything you see ab being the oldest daughter is true btw why am i the family therapist AND punching bag smh

long ass depressing rant in the tags srry i got a wee bit emotional

#my dad has something going on where there's a ringing in his ear my mom has tendonitis and neck pain now #and i feel for both of them i'm goin to cvs to get the meds giving my mom massages every night talking to my dad to distract him #they're both going to the correct doctors #but just throwing it out there i have had tendonitis and chronic upper back pain for 5-6 years and no one gave a shit most i've gotten is #jokes that i'm faking it #i'm in physical therapy for my back NOW but that's bc i finally crawled out of the depression long enough to do it myself #which is fine whatever i'm 22 i should be the one making my own appointments and it'd be weird if i wasn't #but when i was 16 or 17??? #being hospitalized for STRESS HEADACHES at 14 too??? #who gets hospitalized for that shit and how were my parents not concerned that i at the age of 14 was #so stressed out that my head was pounding all the time #and bc i'm the third parent who has to be the only emotional safe space #i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me #i have to listen to everyone and their momma's problems #i'm in law school!!! i do not need this i'm anxious all the time!!! #and if i'm not anxious i'm depressed!!! #my therapist point blank tells me shit like 'you're incredibly lonely' or 'you have way too much on your shoulders' and it makes me CRY #the most basic fucking observations that i KNOW but hearing someone else acknowledge it and not berate me fucking sends me into TEARS #i get messages from online friends here like 'hey i saw your post you don't deserve that' i physically cannot keep my eyes dry!! #every time i have any interaction ever i am at least a little uncomfortable bc i am always trying so hard to make sure i come off as kind #and not awkward or mean #i feel like everyone around me was given some kind of how to manual on life that i wasn't #and i KNOW this is not unique tons and tons of people feel like this #i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware #but then every couple of days my mom gets the brilliant idea to tell me i'm rude or lazy or whatever and i lose my shit #i just wanna sleep and write fanfics in the nicest way possible i hate everyone #i will try my best to not be mean to anyone bc no one deserves it but i am angry and i am constantly feeling the hurt of my inner child #my MOTHER threw a hardcover book at my HEAD when i was ten bc i had been reading and hid the book under the pillow #what the actual fuck???? #my dad's response to any and everything is to deal with it

[semidecentpoet]

I think “Art Is for Amateurs” by Jam Mechanics, featuring Bug Hunter and the Narcissist Cookbook, might be replacing “Ghost Stories” by the Narcissist Cookbook as my favorite song and I Don’t Know How To Feel Ab That

#like ghost stories takes me away to that Place yk #other plane of existence #something something sense of self #something something we are all ghost stories at the end of the day and maybe we should just aim to stay that way #BUT ART IS FOR AMATEURS IS SUCH A BANGER #IT GOES SO HARD #WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT #i’ve been listening to it on repeat #wdym ‘doweries or endowments or for the decorative towels’ #wdymmmm ‘so spare a thought for the middle-man who couldn’t make anything (but bank)’ #the raw EMOTION of ‘the more space you just make for the BULLSHIT’ #and ‘and I’m all in man this is all that I know how to do’ #different emotions #both raw as /shit/ #this song is the only thing on my mind always #it’s taking over my life #and putting a pen in my hand and pushing me to get back to work #bc goddammit #art is for amateurs #bug hunter #the narcissist cookbook #jam mechanics #ghost stories #this song slaps #both songs are amazing #ghost stories will forever be my first True Love #my gateway drug lmao #but new personal life anthem just dropped

[charmixpower]

#winx club #rus chatters #winx season 5 #the posters....of all of them....in their most recent outfits in their rooms.... #implying that they made them when they first got back to aflea for some god forsaken reason #the fucking Bloom shelf #the dance table #aren't these supposed to be dorm rooms??? how are they doing that with their beds and shelfs??? you cant install things in a dorm???? #Bloom's room is actually a nightmare. but the reference to her love of drawing is cute #Stella's room is probably my favorite because shes the only one who would #they visably gave up with Flora's room...like I'm pretty sure this begun and ended with plant lady #I can at least appreciate the aesthetic of Tecna's room. it looks like a home office and bedroom and i kinda love the vibe #the same person who designed Flora's room designed Musa's room #i can at least appreciate the mix of femme stuff and sporty stuff in Aisha's room. her bed is gorgeous #this would be so much more tolorable if these were theyre own room in their own house but!!!! #OH MY GOD I JUST SAW THE REFRENCES TO THE BAND SUBPLOT. I WILL BREAK THAT KEYTUAR OVER SOMEONE'S FUCKING HEAD #omggg s5 designers. i forgot what everyone's gimmick was. wanna beat me over the head with it in the background design??? thanks! #i am still not. and will never be. over those awful awful posters. i can tell im feeling angry or another negative emotion but by god #Rus liveblogs

[thefallenangelsgang]

Last Line Challenge

In a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or however many as you like).

Tagged by @fablewritesnonsense

Fable you have got to be clairvoyant in some manner because your timing is scary accurate. I just put down my writing for today not even a half hour ago. This is the first time narrative has felt easy in months. UNFORTUNATELY THE LAST LINE IS SHORT AND NOT NARRATIVELY INTERESTING *SHAKES FISTS AT GOD*

From a unfinished maybe chapter of what could become my Baldur's Gate 3 Fic:

And reality comes crashing down.

(fuck it I'm going to post the incomplete chapter and link it here)

Tags (no pressure, I just really appreciate these peeps writing/art styles!):

@helena-bug @caesarflickermans @druidgroves @roystory4 @rosegardeninwinter

#you know when a personal joke gets out of hand? #that's what this possible fic is to me #anyways I was having Big Emotions of the mad variety about The Emperor and wanted to write the final Astral Plane scene from Act 3 #because my tav gave The Emperor the verbal lashing of a lifetime in my head #instead of just letting that fucker walk out when I freed Orpheus #No no no you get your little Tyrant Ass back here #I've been dealing with your shit for 200 hours I deserve to speak my mind freely #Anyways I didn't get the that part of the scene yet #I backtracked to The Emperor pulling you into the portal #and chose to do some fun physical trauma stuff #and got the most wonderful Astarion line out of it #choosing to say “You’d think they turned on a hose the way it sprayed out of you darling." to a Spinal Fluid leak is INSANE and IN CHARACTE #said spinal fluid leak being caused by taking immense amounts of Psychic Damage #Jericho Writes

[gxlden-angels]

*Youth Pastor Voice* I saw a tiktok about a Pink Sauce and it really got me thinking. Young people care about condiments instead of the most important Red Sauce, the Blood of Christ

#I haven't started with the religious trauma coach yet #but I still talk about stuff with my therapist #rn were talking about shame #Ive got a lot of it #(who would've thunk it /s) #a lot of my shame revolves around emotional expression and intrusive thoughts #g-d loves a cheerful giver so I gave myself to everyone #gave it all with a smile too #now there's none left for me #and now we gotta put the Me back in me #if that makes sense #ex christian #religious trauma