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sleepingdeath-light · 1 year

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finding out her husband is pregnant hcs ; grelle

requested by ; anonymous (26/05/23)

fandom(s) ; black butler

fandom masterlist(s) ; hub | specific

character(s) ; grelle sutcliffe

outline ; “Can I have Grell finding out that their afab Tans masc husband is pregnant? And how they find ways to make the pregnancy less dysphoric ?”

warning(s) ; references to dysphoria, brief references to transphobia, descriptions of pregnancy and pregnancy related stuff

note ; this takes place in a modern au with a human!grelle as i’m not sure if shinigami can canonically even reproduce — also this takes place in the uk (obviously) so they don’t need to worry about medical costs (nhs — woop woop)

you’d been feeling extremely unwell for days and grelle had to pretty much force you to go to the hospital after the millionth ‘it’s probably just something that i ate’

and after a few dozen tests the staff were pretty damn certain about the result and the both of you just about fainted

you weren’t trying for a kid, you were both using birth control, and you were in no way prepared to deal with the trauma of being reminded of your anatomy for nine months straight

so you went home and you sat down together and talked

it was a long discussion where you spoke about all of the options you had at your disposal, what you wanted to do and how she could help you with what you wanted

she was absolute insistent that it was your decision to make and that the discussion was only happening so that she could create a game plan to help you with whatever you chose

you had several of those long discussions, actually, over the course of a work week as you thoroughly weighed out your options and consulted your gp and spoke to a therapist you’d been putting off going to

and in the end you made the decision that you wanted to keep the pregnancy, telling grelle that same day and the two of you started to work on a plan to help you deal with what was going to happen

grelle, of course, was spearheading the operation and fighting anyone who tried to stall her in getting whatever you needed or wanted

she insisted that it was her duty as a wife to take care of her husband, and she was doing a damn good job of it

she got you a prescription for some medication to help with morning sickness and made sure to keep a good stock of pain medication in case you started to swell or feel achy as the pregnancy progressed

she makes sure that the fridge is stocked with your favourite foods or current cravings and will immediately get rid of anything that smells too strong and makes you feel ill

buys you lots of baggy clothing early on — large men’s jumpers and shirts and jackets that hide your bump and don’t have the same feminine energy that typical maternity clothing tends to have

she comforts you when you realise that you can no longer keep up with your hrt due to the pregnancy, always there with a warm hug and comforting words and genuine advice to help you from back before she was able to start her hrt

fetches you anything you need — whether that’s food, drink, a hot water bottle, an ice pack, your phone, just anything you want

when your bump gets too heavy she’ll hold it up from behind, letting you lean back against her as she takes on the weight for a short while

she has gotten into several physical alterations with people who refer to you with feminine terminology and isn’t shy about berating people who misgender her ‘darling husband’

she makes sure that you never miss a checkup and if you’re too dysphoric to look at anything but the screen, then she’ll help cover it from your view during the ultrasounds

decorating the nursery was a two person job but it was great fun — and you thankfully managed to complete it early enough in your pregnancy that you weren’t showing yet, meaning you were able to play a much more active part in the process

she changed your contact name in her phone to ‘seahorse hubby’ as a joke in the first trimester and you both found it way funnier than it was so it stuck

she’s not shy about complimenting you and always tells you how handsome you look and how amazing and selfless you are for creating a whole life — for expanding your family

if your ankles start swelling or you end up with muscle pain, then grelle will happily offer to massage you to ease your aches and pain

runs you warm bubble baths every night to help ease the weight of the pregnancy for you

forever googling your symptoms and trying to find more stylish masculine maternity wear — and losing her mind when she realises that nobody seems to be selling it

(says it could be a good business idea and goes to write it down before continuing with her rant against the clothing industry)

makes sure that you have constant access to mental health services and midwives and doulas to make sure that your mental and physical well-being are the best they can be throughout pregnancy and even post partum

she buys this little spinner thing so that you can let her know how bad your dysphoria is that day and she can react accordingly (green = minimal, orange = present, red = really bad)

always at your beck and call and will answer every text or phone call from you — no matter how much it irritates william or her other colleagues

but they let her off because they’ve met you before and know that pregnancy probably isn’t fun for you — even if your wife won’t stop talking about how ‘awesome’ you are and how you’re going to be ‘the best dad ever’

grelle is with you every step of the way and she tries to be with you physically as much as her work allows — being the most supportive wife she can be and, eventually, becoming the most loving mother you could ever want your child to have

she loves you deeply and appreciates the difficulty of what you’re going through by choosing to carry this pregnancy to term, so she becomes your biggest cheerleader and most passionate advocate

someone who’d give you the moon if you asked and who’d fight everyone who got in her way

and that’s why you love her as much as you do

#sleepingdeath #trans masc reader #fluff #fluff hcs #black butler fluff #black butler x reader #kuroshitsuji fluff #kuroshitsuji x reader #grelle sutcliffe fluff #grelle sutcliff x reader

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softpine · 8 months

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→ oc questions tag ←

tagged by @subtlefires thank you!! i haven't seen this tag before, so this was really fun 💖

i decided to do casper to make up for all the times i've chosen coco

→ 5 words to physically describe your OC (do you have a drawing? even better!) (since we already know what he looks like, i chose general descriptions and stole your moodboard idea hehe)

energetic, reliable, persistent, lacks confidence, sweet

→ Who inspired your OC?

at first, nobody. casper was meant to be the... not comic relief exactly, but a break from the heavy ghost/death/trauma stuff in the main story. but as he got older, i started putting so much more of myself into his character. without going into detail, i've learned things about my own family that makes me relate to casper's situation more than i thought i would when i came up with it. i never planned to go more in-depth about his biological father & half sisters because i thought, well, he has 2 loving parents and siblings he grew up with, why would he lose sleep over these people he's never met and is only connected to by blood? it was one of those things where i thought i knew how i would feel in that situation, but i never really knew until i knew. i wish i could say this is the only part of my life i've imparted on casper, but it's not 😅 casper is also the first character we've seen in college since beth, and my college experience was SO much closer to casper's than beth's. so like. it's me, i inspired casper fjksdjs

→ Give me a song to define your OC

soda by nothing but thieves // lyrics:

i once had a thought, but don't know where it went 'cause i've been living off soda and cheap cigarettes maybe when i was a kid i was dropped on my head yeah, that would make some sense

i don't want to be myself it's making me so unwell

→ If I met your OC on the street how would they greet me?

he doesn't make it a habit to greet strangers aside from a polite nod, but if he already knows someone he would loudly call out to them even if they're far away and it's embarrassing for everyone involved – that is, if he remembers them. he's really bad with names!

→ Can your OC be your best friend? Why?

oh yeah for sure. not so much now, but i was friends with so many jock types in high school. i think it's because once those guys find out i'm a lesbian they just treat me like a bro 😌 but they would tell me things they didn't think they could talk about with anyone else. i love being the friend everyone comes to with their problems because i'm telling people what they already knew but didn't want to admit, and making them feel like they came up with a solution all on their own. that's exactly what casper wishes he had in a friendship right now. also i want him to be my personal trainer!

→ 1 adjective and 1 noun to describe your OC

neurotic // i know this word is outdated, but i still use it for myself and i can't think of a better word to describe the way that he manages to be anxious about anything and everything. so much of his personality / habits / lifestyle were formed in response to anxiety (like, he was afraid of staying the same so he changed everything about himself all at once. he did so many sports and he exercises all the time because it keeps him busy. etc.) and the important thing is that most of his fears are totally irrational and not the more common worries people have, even other people with anxiety. it's not like "are my friends secretly mad at me?" it's "i'm going to walk to class today because i'm afraid i'll run someone over with my car" and things of that nature; things he knows are irrational, but that doesn't make them feel less real. but we'll get more into that later

toaster // LMAO... it's a ubiquitous household object you take for granted will always be there. you don't really know how it works on the inside, you just count on the fact that it will. you don't even take notice of it unless something is really wrong with it. but it's a tried and true part of a daily routine and you'd be really bummed if you lost it! tell your toaster you love them today sdjksjd

→ tagging: feels weird tagging anyone after i got so personal here lmao so if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

#bold move picking one of the most beloved and attractive stars of the 00s as casper's face claim but i figured i'd throw him a bone #casper birkshaw

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scp-10000 · 9 months

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can we please get headcanons,facts or any thoughts you have on badtimes and cardinalhater531? im honestly dying of curiosity over those two afther reading your vex headcanons masterpost

Oh I have some stuff for them boys.

I already know you read the doc, so you probably know I hc them as Allays(and probably have an idea all the nonsense Allays had to deal with in the past). You probably also remember the bit about a Vex named Merlin creating Convex which led to Cub and Scar. For every Vex there is an Allay, and this fact of life led to an Allay named Morgan making Conallay(New Allays if we're going by the same naming convention I made with Convex), which then resulted in Badtimes and Cardinal.

It's just unfortunately they were both formed in Hels, and since Hels is a hellhole for anything that isn't Zedaph, they basically ran away and found their Vex counterparts and lived with them for a while while still trying to bust out as many allays as possible pretending they're vexes.

If I remember right, there are currently 4 Fs for dealing with trauma, and out of all four of them, Bad is Fight, Cardinal is Flight, Scar is Fawn, and Cub is Freeze.

How is Badtimes fight if he's not really much stronger than the others in terms of physical strength? He has a knife made of osmium, and for some odd reason, if a Vex or Allay can manage to focus their magic into something made of osmium, it becomes as dense as the metal without adding extra weight, so Bad is actually running around with an extremely dense one handed long sword that has some serious walloping power that he can swing around as easily as most people can swing around toy store swords.

He's also Scar's main cameraman even for timelapses. Dude will just hold the camera and stare intensely through it for hours neglecting all other needs. They may roast each other, but this alone gives Scar ammo any time they lovingly yell at each other to do self care in order to make it a fair fight.

This is my pokemon card binder. It's almost flat and full to capacity. Cardinal has a similar binder full of copies of fake ids he made for all the allays he snuck out of Hels. Even after the whole species was freed, Card kept the binder as a reminder.

Card also works as Cub's camera man, but they don't roast each other nearly as hard.

Irl Cubfan chose that name because he's a fan of the Chicago Cubs. Using that, I named Card after The St. Louis Cardinals, one of the rivals of the Cubs. There's just one quirk. Card hates the Cardinals. Any other team, he's just holding a sign that says "I hope both teams have fun." However if the Cardinals are playing, he's becoming a temporary super fan of said team and cheering them on with all his heart. May 8th through 10th of 2023 was the first time anyone's seen both Cub and Card go absolutely feral about any game of sportsball. People feared for their lives near the end of July.

#hermitcraft #badtimeswithscar #cardinalhater531 #goodtimeswithscar #cubfan135 #it's nice to get a chance to talk about these boys

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clarafyer · 7 months

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BREAKING NEWS: TERRORIST TEEN GOES BONKERS AND BLOWS UP YET ANOTHER DISTRICT

So yeah this is cyberpunk!Vesperaaaaa, she's in one of my earliest posts on one of my art dumps of stuff I did before I started my blog, and I made this in English class today :D

(why do class doodles always end up 10 times better than when you're actually trying like what the hell)

BIG LORE RANT AHEAD

Cp!Vespera's lore: Her brother Sullivan (Tenebris) had to turn to a permanent life of crime when she was 9 because he got into some trouble with the mafia and had to pay off massive debts. She was from then on raised with Sullivan and his friend Divian, Muroko was also a good friend of the group's before actually joining the mafia to try and usurp it (still a process to this day).

After a few years, Vespera was starting to be let into assassinations and infiltration jobs. When she was 14, though, Sullivan left without a trace. No note, no talk, nothing. He left because his fucked up head chose his urges to begin cruel experiments instead of staying with the people who were restraining him from going there.

Fast forward to almost 3 years, neither Ves nor Divian has seen him, but they know he's alive by now because of some recent missing persons incidents and their descriptions, along with Muroko's help (he's now the right-hand man, so he gets a lot of insider knowledge, but can't force Sullivan to come back because of the contract they organized and Muroko valuing business just a little more than personal deeds)

By now: She turns 17 in just a few months, and doesn't realize that she's turning just like her brother, who she's grown to despise, but- still misses the old days. She experiences hallucinations mainly involving her brother, which has been making her lash out more and more as the days go by. One fateful day, Divian and Vespera are going back to the base after a mission, and they meet a near-dead humanoid creature, who has a broken shackle on their wrist. Turns out, this is the first escaped victim of her brother's :)

My friend and I haven't done much with our characters recently, but in the early summer months this year we were roleplaying this stuff, and it was a BLAST. Seriously, this is only the rambling of my side of the lore. I did mention Divian, her character, but I don't wanna go into too much about their lore because like- permission and stuff idk

Fun facts:

- She used to force her brother to let her paint his nails, and because of that, nowadays he still wears nail polish

- The 'escaped victim' is the cyberpunk version of Evelyn (mothman oc)

- My 3 AUs (og, modern and cyberpunk) all represent different kinds of familial trauma (og: manipulation and emotional/mental abuse, modern: physical abuse, cyberpunk: abandonment)

- She's the biggest Oozes fan to exist

- She uses grenades and a nailed bat as her weapons (which is why she usually is just put on surveillance duty on missions lol)

- She has a lung disease that's common in the cyberpunk au, where her lungs are affected by the pollution in the air so much that she needs a gas mask anytime she's outside (it's such a common thing that masks are provided in a lot of places)

- She actually has a custom mask that doubles as a gas mask and a cool high-tech mask with an AR screen on it, made by Muroko for her 13th birthday!

- Her jacket is a re-painted letter jacket from her old school

- She marks her grenades with stickers of varying colors to indicate the average radius before using them (some are just smoke bombs too)

- Technically her first mission was her being a stowaway in Divian's car and she got in big trouble for like 3 months because of it (she also made Div mess up the kill)

ANYWAYS, THAT FELT GREAT TO RANT ABOUT, BUHBYEEEE (questions are ABSOLUTELY allowed I love answering questions abt oc lore, who doesn't)

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starryelem · 2 years

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I feel like I should introduce someone. . . Oh yeah! Meet;

West "Cyphertext" Bradford

West is the ship child between Hacker and Blue.

He was created like- 4 weeks ago by me and my best friend @unagidevi !

As any ship child between a main character and a side character,you gotta give him some trauma but the bad thing is that his parents are nice and he has a pet cat. So that’s no place to put trauma,so . . . We chose to make the others give him trauma. And by others I mean other ship children.

Now to some fun facts or stuff you should know to be able to use West with ease

•When too emotional he will have blocks fall out of his eyes like they are tears but it is quite painful so unless he actually cries he will be in complete pain.

•When very happy,West will jump up and down clapping his hands in joy and delight.

•West likes to keep things that used to belong to his parents as a way to always feel safe when he isn’t around them or is alone. Examples; Googles that used to belong to Hacker, Hacker’s jacket, earrings Blue always used to wear (Hacker doesn’t mind giving his stuff to West but Blue doesn’t have much to give)

•West almost always is smiling,even when crying.

•West is pansexual,but he prefers men a lot more then woman and other (I’m talking 97% men and like 1.5 woman, 1.5 other).

•Unlike Hacker and Blue,he isn’t straight up with his flirting and instead tries to do thoughtful things to make the person like him. But he is still HELLA dirty minded in many ways and will sometimes express it and make jokes.

•West drives a motorbike but no one (except his parents) knew about it until he started dating Icterid and felt more confident.

•West isn’t manipulative and instead he’s quite kind and willing to help,he does get tired when you keep annoying him to help you so he might hurt you without you noticing (as in plan for you to do a mistake and so on)

•West is a simp,probably the biggest one to exist since he would sacrifice himself just for his lover no matter what the cost is. He also doesn’t see red flags and no matter how much he gets hurt by his lover,he will still love his lover

•When stressed,West gets these light blue and light green lines running down his back,they burn and basically feel like he’s getting cut over and over. Not only that but little blue and green blocks appear as well,on his hands,arms, face and basically everywhere else,these blocks itch and when you touch the little area of skin they are on,they will start to bleed.

•West has scars from past bullying by Nelson (Nightmare x Error ship child) and Ictred (Finch x Ink ship child)

•West LOVES Ictred and no matter how many times he gets rejected by him,he always runs back to him and forgives him.

•West loves his parents,he would rather blame himself for their mistakes then blame them.

•West cares for his looks,staying fit,making sure his heath is stable and not pushing his body too much are standard practices.

•West apologizes a LOT,even when it isn’t his mistake let alone a mistake.

•When West uses too much magic(to open portals and so on) his eye starts glitching and his memory becomes blurry and he can’t remember anything. That’s why he has a whiteboard in his room and a 24/7 working reminder app.

•West can’t lie under pressure,his backs will get those strings and if he’s really stressing he will starts glitching.

•West doesn’t hate or like blood,if it doesn’t touch him,it’s alr.

•West loves spicy food,just feed him jalapeños if he’s upset with you.

•West loves physical affection,it’s a must on a daily basis.

All and all,West is polite,you just gotta think 'what would someone who believes people change after one mistake do?' And you got West.

His relationship with Icterid (who he is a duo with) has a lot of development. Icterid used to date Nelson who is an asshole and saw joy in hurting West,after Ictreid finally noticed how toxic Nelson is and gathering some courage, he left him and that’s when the two started to get along.

West in flat colors

(Made by my good friend @unagidevi )

#dreamswap #dreamswap hacker #dreamswap blue #ds hacks #bluetooth #west cypher-text bradford #ds community

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onlyswan · 10 months

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Hiii Art!! How have you been and how's your work/studies whatever it is that you do. Good? Eh? Well mine's kinda on a dry and wet mode rn lol.

Mind if I rant here?

I have 2wk worth of exams coming up and I have no motivation to study. I honestly regret taking up the course im studying for. I mainly took it up because its lucrative and helpful in today's economy. But honestly I should have just pursued 14yo Lyfie's dream to become a nurse. It wouldve been so much more rewarding🥲🥲🥲.

Anyways despite that im just praying my gpa doesnt go down the drain, and im gulity right now because i wasted the whole day doing nothimg even though i told myself to go study. I couldnt do it. I just......well i knew what i was doing was bad but everytime i looked at my notes i felt as if i knew them all, and in the end achieved nothing. Sigh i hate myself for how repetitve this unhealthy cycle has become. Parental pressure isnt helping either. I try ranting and they say its just momentary tiredness and it would go away soon and then further guilt me into wasting time :((((.

Wow that became long. Im so sorry for litterally trauma dumping on you, especially if tou had a long day. It would be the last thing you'd wanna worry about 😂😂😂

Anyways i wanted to ask you about your writing, both as a fellow fic author and as loyal reader of yours. What inspires you to write?

(I.e set time aside to write your fics and even feel motivated to open up that document? I have so many plot bunnies, headcanons and fic ideas, but no matter how enticing, everytime i try opening up my google docs, that burst of excited energy saps away. Urgh its so frustrating!!😠)

And for your fics, we had possible teases of engagement btwn jk and oc and even f2l hopelessly pining jk and oc. So i was wondering will we ever get a confession scene 👀👀👀?

I rmbr when jk ssid somewhr in an interview where he would love to lift his partner up and kiss them and my mind went str to the in which couple lol knowing your writing and since its jk its gonna be so cute cheesy and gonna involve tears 😇.

Funny enough i also know that both oc and jk are heavy on respecting e/o be it space or privacy, and when i heard Twice MISAMO's Do Not Touch song which was about consent and it was potryaed beautifully compared to art masterpeices, it got me thinking about their initial stages of skin ship or how they got comfortable around e/o physically or even their first time. Idk im just so invested in this universe lol 😭😂

Hmmm, but thats it for now. I'll reach out to you soon!!! :D

-Lyf

hiii lyf <3 work is draining and some customers are rude but my co-workers are fun to be with so it’s alright 🥲 uni also started this week and it’s nerve wracking but also soooo exciting !! i’m just gonna need some time to adjust to this new life + schedule 😬

i’m so sorry to hear that beloved :( i’m sure with the given the circumstances that you chose what you thought would be best for you at that time and i think it’s important that you recognize that too !! 🫂 and yesyes studying is so freaking difficult especially when you don’t feel motivated >:( for me personally time management has been pretty helpful. i love schedules ^^ sometimes i do house chores first to get my brain into work mode too and i give myself little rewards during break times (which are sooo important) or after studying hehe like snacks or screen time !! please look after yourself and your health. 🥺

dw i’m mostly fine with you guys ranting about stuff like school !! because same !! but i’m just putting it out there that when it’s abt triggering stuff i have to restrain myself 🥲 i don’t reply to those because it really affects me badly mentally too :(

hmmm when it comes to inspiration to write 🤔 like i said i do love schedules hehe i open a draft every night before bed + in my notes i also save words/phrases/scenarios that pop in my mind throughout the day but couldn’t write yet :D but i don’t really get to write everyday bcs i’m too tired or nothing just comes out. sometimes i only write one sentence or one paragraph then pass out lol. on a good day i finish one scene and maybe start writing the next too !! a jungkook weverse live will always 100% give me a big rush of motivation tho 🤭

and i doooo want to explore the earlier stages of oc and jungkook’s relationship 🥹🥹🥹 i have many many plans !! but i just want them to be perfect so it might take me a while </3 this is still a long journey if y’all are up for it hehe thank you so much for being invested in our little iw universe !! 🥰 it truly means the world to me that i get to enjoy my passion like this :") ilysm lyf 🫂

#omg yes i think about that interview all the timehdkdjkf like he is such a romantic!!! i get so giddy when i remember 😭#art’s post office ☁️#lyf <3

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qwerty-the-duck · 2 years

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Last set for for OC-tober 2022! Thanks to @oc-tober2022 for the prompt list! Under the cut is a brief explanation of each picture and how they related to the prompts. (Just like week one, which can be found here!)

Day 22: Grace (Minimal) for Memory. Grace is a rare Witch in her story that has the skills to manipulate and store memories. She often does this to patients in her care she feels may need to be stripped of their traumas until they are rehabilitated enough to be able to handle them. She never peeks on the patients memories, but sometimes take a moment to look back at her own.

Day 23: Vessithyr (DND NPC) for Bound. A dnd NPC and Coven Master for one sect of Vampires in my DND setting. Being the creator of several different vampires, they are bound to her and her will whether through devotion, debt, or sheer controlling power.

Day 24: Kori no Yousei [”The Ice Fairy”] Aka Kory (Fireball and Chain) for Victory and Forgotten. In Fireball and Chain, when a Legend is removed from the care of their Anchor, their Ego is destroyed, causing all memories of that time to be either sealed or destroyed (depending on circumstance). Kory, wanting to learn to grow on her own, chooses to leave her Anchor.

Day 25: Vada (DND Character) for Weakness. This character’s biggest weakness, at least when I was making him, is like his “dissociation” from circumstance and feeling, almost like “If Ignore the problem, its not there” to an extreme degree. This includes both his emotions and feelings, as well as his physical relationship with pain and spatial coordination.

Day 26: Buckets (DnD Character) for Temptation. Though I didn’t play him long, Buckets quickly developed a soft spot for sweets and I was a little burnt out from life and stuff as I was doing this one in the last so I just went pretty straight forward from there haha.

Day 27: Fencer (Fireball and Change) for Strange. Fencer has a fondness for fashion and in particular loves food inspired or food themed clothes, and his entire wardrobe is handmade. So got a random food generator and designed and outfit based off the food rolled (egg). His outfits, combined with his more aloof yet cowardly attitude get him labeled as “quite strange” around school. Day 28: Ric (Long Story Short) for Disease.

Ric was born without a mutation Gene, and, In LSS, those without a mutation Gene are bound to waste away into what we would considered Pop Culture zombies, basically. In an attempt to prevent that, his father did many different types of experiments to keep him from “dying” from “Hyper-radiation Poisoning,” but that doesn’t mean Ric avoided the symptoms of it, which persents itself as a progressive deteriorative disease.

Day 29: Bee (Long Story Short) for Change.

Bee has quite a “happening” backstory to say the least, and though he attempt to remain as bright and hopeful as he was as a child, both his appearance and his personality have been twisted and hammered into almost an entirely different person. Day 30: Prince Amarai (DnD NPC) for FREE CHOICE! I chose to challenge myself for day 20 and made myself draw a fursona for a character of mine. I’m not practices, at all, in drawing furry-anything so not only figuring out the proportions and anatomy, and then also the designs and the colors was fun but a bit frustrated. I ultimately don’t hate the end result haha.

Day 31 FINALE!: Fireball and Change Miscellaneous Characters. I know there wasn’t a prompt for the last day but I decided to just draw over some fun memes/images I had been kinda saving for just an occasion. I loved recoloring the maid outfits and censoring the cigarettes as candy for the kiddos. This month flew by and I loved this challenge so much!

#OC-tober2022 #OC-tober #Promptober2022 #Promptober #art #digitalart #original character #myocs #dnd #dungeons and dragons #ttrpg

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sunnibits · 1 year

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Hullo can u elaborate on dimitri

*aggressively whips out my PowerPoint presentation* WHY I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED NONNY!!!! so crazy that you would ask me that omg it’s not like I specifically begged people to ask me about it or anything-

As you may have noticed, recently I started playing in my very first dnd campaign, and Dimitri Kazriel is my character!! He’s a chaotic neutral tiefling warlock - (except, like, on all levels except physical he is a rogue, because he honestly should be one based on his whole personality and backstory but uhhhh he’s a warlock okay).

here are some various sketches of him!!! (ignore the fact that his design keeps changing slightly lmao)

Now the fun thing about our campaign is that it’s actually set in the realm of Norse mythology, with pretty much all the kingdoms and lore and stuff completely home-brewed by our incredible DM who is literally descended from Vikings (or so he says, lmao). So, Dimitri’s warlock patron is actually Loki, the god of mischief himself!!

He grew up as a thief on the streets, but he eventually made a deal with Loki and basically just became his little errand-boy-slash-spy-slash-mischief-maker in exchange for magical power and security.

But there’s a bit of a conflict going on in the campaign now when it comes to this arrangement… the thing is, Loki is planning something that I don’t really know about, but Dimitri’s been doing his job as a lil errand boy. Butttt ummmm well. Odin the Allfather himself decided to talk to Dimitri and offer him a different deal to go behind Loki’s back and work for Odin instead, in exchange for essentially taking over Loki’s position and getting a shit ton of power. Butttt of course Loki found out and was not happy… so now there’s tension between Dimitri and Loki, there’s a whole complicated thing with Odin, Dimitri doesn’t know who to chose, he’s scared of Loki’s wrath and meanwhile my poor guy still does not have a clue what the Big Plans far beyond him even are.

Sooooo Dimitri’s whole thing, essentially, is being used as a tiny pawn between these two gods, a minuscule player on a giant fucking chess board that he doesn’t understand :D

And that’s not even getting into his newly created backstory, which is a whole other can of worms… but I’ve already rambled enough so if anyone wants to hear about that…… let me know 👁️👁️

anyways thank u for asking I’m literally obsessed with him he’s my little baby blorbo and he has sooooo much trauma :))))

#sunny’s ocs #dimitri kazriel #ask box #I was gonna talk about his backstory but uh. thsi would be so much longer LMAO #godddd I love him tho he’s so fucked up #ALSO TELL ME WHY ONE OF MY MOST DIMITRICORE SONGS CAME UP ON SHUFFLE WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS #OUT OF MY WHOLE MUSIC LIBRARY. SADDERDAZE BY THE NEIGHBORHOOD JUST APPEARS #WITH THE STEEL CHAIR.

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awlwren-writes · 2 years

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12, 29, 57 OTP ask, you decide the pairing :P

We're gonna do all random pairings, then. Your fault. :P

12. Do they have many heated arguments? How do they smooth things over? - LukeMara (Star Wars)

Ha. Hahaha. Yes. Heated arguments are their Thing. They do get better at them as they get older and better at listening to each other, (and when they have impressionable children watching them) but it's a great opportunity to just be people for them, so it never goes away. They both kind of like the security that someone is able to pull them out when they get too focused on one idea or path.

If the have time, generally they deal with them by stalking off -- Luke to the jungle, usually, to be by himself, Mara to her ship or training rooms within the temple, where there are people, though occasionally they flip places -- and throw themselves into some sort of exercise to work out their emotions. When they're calmer, they meditate on where their position is coming from and why this matters or doesn't, and then they drift back together around the next mealtime, when they're ready to listen and talk.

Sometimes it takes longer for one of them to be ready, and there is impatient waiting until they are both ready. If this drags on too long one-sided, the calmer one will come sit next to the one who's not ready to talk yet as they do their work, just sitting and not talking or trying to persuade them, maybe handing them stuff. The reminder that this argument doesn't mean that they don't work really well together, can't still be on the same side overall, can sometimes help the recalcitrant get over that bump and start them talking.

In the end, they are very similar, after all, even if the way they access and prioritize things are different and they have different traumas.

If that still doesn't work, there are appeals to friends and family to mediate if possible, but they do so with both of their agreement to reach out to those particular person or people.

If there's not enough time for all that, someone calls timeout, they take five breaths, then each get one sentence to defend their position. Mara generally has veto in practical matters, Luke in formal matters.

29. Who is more likely to jump in an elevator? Who freaks out? Evelynn (The Librarians) - which I need to catch up on...

Flynn, for sure. Eve flinches instinctively the first time he does it -- halfway to grabbing him to protect him -- then gets used to it as just something he does. He convinces her to try it one or twice, though. It's not the technobabble -- she understands the physics just fine -- it's that she is trying to let her hair down even in small ways that finally has her try. It is a little fun. But elevators open on trouble too often for her to do it every time.

57. Whose the serious one when grocery shopping and who likes to toss random things in the cart? PelNyx (Kingsglaive)

Budgets, man. Budgets are a buzzkill for groceries. Pelna is the one who plans the grocery list that fits their budgets, but Nyx can sometimes persuade him to swap some things out when he has a good idea for a recipe. And is very persuasive about arguing his baking budget.

Pelna does budget for treats for them! They deserve them! But he would prefer to throw in a packet of sour gummy candies and some chips for his treats -- they're fun and don't require extra work -- but Nyx keeps trying to use his for baking supplies. He is able to trade some of his homemade treats for some. And that's cheaper, right? Pelna would approve if he could chose the flavors himself, but concedes the surprise can be nice. There is some resentment that Nyx keeps winning this argument.

The caffeine vs alcohol ratio to fill their drink budget is a matter of fierce debate, though, each of them trying to protect the other from their vices (Overwork and Overfeeling respectively) but both very much rely on their crutches and won't let them go. It's lead to some actually serious arguments, but the energy drinks and the spirits are not the issue.

You did say any pairing, so I just did the first one that came to mind that wasn't CorNyx. ^_^

#and get some answers #ask games #LukeMara #Evlynn #PelNyx #meissa #Star Wars #Librarians #ffxv

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queenaeducan · 2 years

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Tagged by @mxkelsifer tysm for tagging me!

Rules: List five things you never get tired of writing; it can be tropes, themes, characters, phrases, whatever brings you joy. Then tag five people!

Mental health/coping: I’m not quite sure how to phrase this, but based on how many of my fics are about characters coping with anxiety or depression or helping others cope, and that I’m still not done writing about it... I guess you could say it’s a theme I like to revisit. I like exploring what works for some characters and doesn’t for others, how they cope alone versus with company, the journey it takes to learning how to deal with your specific brand of anxiety, etc. I guess I could also say hurt-comfort is a trope I like a lot, although it tends to be emotional trauma over physical.

Names/Identity: I’m coupling these because I think the exploration of Thora’s sense of identity through studying her family history and Solas’s sense of identity through his many changing names are connected in my head. Almost all my elf ocs don’t have the name they were born with, either because they’re trans like Bruno or because they want free names like Vher. My version of Solas has like a dozen names, but Solas is the one he chose and therefore it is his truest name. The power of knowing your name and its meaning, whether your choose it yourself or unearth its lost past through study, is something I like to think/write about. How names connect us with who we are (Thora is a Surfacer name, it means thunder) and who we were (Cadash is a Traditional name, a warrior house). I feel like I did a poor job of connecting the above sentences but needless to say I think these subjects are neat and inform a lot of my characters.

Friendship: I don’t have a lot of elaborate here I just really like writing gen fics. I like showing how friendships change us and help us grow or keep us from growing.

Slice of Life: Again, I guess I don’t have too much to elaborate on here, but I like to see my faves just vibing in the moment. We see how they act in peril, and I definitely like reading and writing about that, too, but the unspoken moments call to me, too. What’s the journey to Haven like for the newly allied mages? How does the fledgling Inquisition cope with resources before a supply line to Skyhold is established? What does Solas do before returning to Skyhold during his personal quest? Etc. Some of this is heavier than the phrase slice of life typically is meant to convey but it still falls into the genre of “moments that we don’t need in the canon story necessarily b/c this isn’t ASoIaF but I do like to think/write about.”

Magic: I kept typing “veil” or “fade” but I didn’t want to make it a Dragon Age-specific topic. I love writing about feelings made manifest, the energy that goes into casting a spell, or what dreams are like. It can mean nebulous descriptors or on-the-nose metaphors. I can be subtle or beat you over the head with it (probably more the latter I don’t think nuance is a strength of mine). The Fade in particular is a fun setting to play in because it’s so malleable, like in a WIP I wrote Solas experiencing Kinloch Hold through Ian’s dreams and getting to emphasise how alien and hostile the setting is by making the hallways unending or the books up too high to reach. I couldn’t get all of that if I wrote a fic about Solas physically visiting Kinloch Hold because he would experience it differently as Ian did as a child and prisoner, but because it’s a Fade dream I can have my cake and eat it too. Stuff like this is why fantasy is fun.

Tagging: @theshirallen, @dreadfutures, @rosella-writes, @bluewren, @darethshirl

#tas talks #dash meme

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cinnamon-notes · 4 months

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[february 13, the lorelai to her sookie]: to you i can admit that im just too soft for all of it

I went out for coffee with my friend. I hadn't seen her in two weeks. I've missed her a lot. I told her I almost wrote my resignation letter last week. She told me her mother got fired. I told her I am on antidepressants again because of the people at my job. She told me her mother got fired because during the time she worked at her job she has developed serious physical and mental conditions due to the traumas she had to endure and her boss told her she and her conditions are good for nothing. I told her I was getting suicidal again and that I was scared. She told me she doesn't know if she's having lunch tomorrow because they don't have enough money and that she was scared.

In her mother, I saw the version of the person I may become if I don't do something to save myself now that I can. In me, she saw the version of the person her mother used to be when she was given a choice but still chose to stay because, unlike me, she had a little girl to look after.

Then I went to the car wash with her. The car wash is actually our thing. I'd always go with her when she has to wash her car, she'd always come with me when I have to wash my car. "Do you have a curfew?" she asked me, I said I was all hers. "You're the only one who actually makes me feel joyful in my life" she said. It felt nice. "It's nice to have a friend in you. You're the only one I know I can actually and fully count on" she said.

Once we got to the car wash, I helped her out. I know she gets easily distracted when she has something going on and this lack of attention and focus usually makes her feel bad about herself. So I silently fixed things she was forgetting, unbeknownst to her, while she was trying to focus on other things to wash. I was like the Lorelai to her Sookie.

Until she noticed I was helping her out although she didn't want me to. Until she noticed I was preceding her in things I knew she would've gotten wrong, not because I lack trust in her but because I knew her mind is too clouded right now for her to get those things right, and I just didn't want her to feel bad about herself because of it... this was the last thing she needed. She got slightly upset anyway and said "I can do it myself, I don't want you to help me clean my own car, I'm capable of doing it myself". And I went exactly like the picture I put on this post, I went all "I know you are, I know you can, but just let me. You don't have to prove to be able to do something for you to be validated... hello, sweetie, it's me, I'm not judging what you can or cannot do. I just want to take some of this stress away from you if I can. And since I can, please let me"

So she just looked at me and handed me stuff to help her out. And while we were both consensually cleaning her car (it's fun to word it this way LOL), I took a moment to look at her. I had an epiphany. Before me stood a girl on her way to become a woman, a self-sufficient grownup, although it was the trickiest thing. And she was washing her car. With her friend. She was taking care of that one stain on the windshield. In the meanwhile, she didn't know when she was gonna have her next meal. In the meanwhile, she didn't know what use it was to wash a car she wouldn't be able to drive once she ran out of gas. In the meanwhile, she didn't know if she would still sleep in her bed tomorrow night. But in that specific moment, she was washing her car. With her friend. She was taking care of that one stain on the windshield. And somehow this was enough to get her through.

And somehow this was enough to get me through.

Something about my friend still washing her car not knowing if she's having dinner tonight taught me what hope is. Something about my friend accepting my help although she feels the need to prove she can do absolutely everything on her own taught me what resilience is.

#im only me when im with her #cinnamon diary #cinnamon friends

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mindweasels · 1 year

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phases

PHASE 1

overwhelming sense that my brain and body are different from other humans in a way that they don't understand and (mostly) feel threatened/exhausted by

an internal monologue that seems divorced from my emotions or environment in any immediate way, and frequently conveys words and phrases that I don't agree with

moments of suicidal ideation, usually spurred on by this internal monologue making a case for why I should kill myself

lots of circular dialectical thoughts in my head. i.e. "humans are bad," "they're not all bad," "name one that isn't bad," "x isn't bad," "x harmed you in the following ways," "nothing is all good or bad really," "only humans think things are good or bad. That's why humans are bad." (that's an extremely simplified example. often they get into some 400 level philosophy stuff.)

increased feelings of sexual arousal and sexual attraction to socially inappropriate targets

PHASE 2

Feelings of worthlessness, rejection, shame.

Extreme physical pain and exhuastion.

Constant inner monologue saying "you should kill yourself. I want to kill myself," over and over. No longer divorced from my emotions.

Insomnia.

Crying. Amplified emotions.

Paranoid thoughts do arise but are still easily dismissed.

PHASE 3

Vision problems. Possible seizures?

No insomnia or crying (except during menstruation)

A distinct sense that there are two separate people sharing my body

Unbelievable non-stop horniness

There's a kind of euphoria. A bliss. Everything is meaningful all the time. I'm in love. It's like sex, 24/7.

A sort of pain in my abdomen, like yearning. More, more, infinitely more.

PHASE 4

Forgetfulness and disorientation

Non-stop euphoria. Never want it to end.

PHASE 5

Obsessive thoughts. Anxiety about whether I'm going crazy and whether I have "trauma." This: my whole life everyone - even my parents - put me in the "safe to fuck, but not safe to love" box. And I'm furious and hurt about that. When I first got close to Cristina, it seemed safe, because she's aromantic and an internet stranger, so… if she rejected me romantically, it could not possibly be my fault. Then she fell for Corinna. She gave Corinna everything I wanted. It could not be more clear that she was ready to fall in love, was looking for it in fandom spaces, and chose NOT ME. It hurt me in ways I never really came back from.

It's not safe for me to be romantically rejected, but its also not something 100% in my control. I don't know why people keep me at a distance. Maybe if I knew I could fix it. It seems like people enjoy falling in love with people who are withdrawn and mysterious, who don't talk much about themselves or their feelings. But that's not fun, is it? Being seen is so addictive.

PHASE 6

Disconnectedness from the concept of romantic love. Obsessive thoughts about power dynamics, trust, and transactions in relationships.

Socialization feels less purposeful and more like an error made in desperation. It is frequently followed by paranoia that I fucked up by reaching out or getting close to someone (because I have opened myself up to abuse or rejection.)

Greater feelings of delight and intimacy in physical objects, animals, etc.. ("Madame Lafleur")

PHASE 7

Forgetting the first five phases. Putting them out of my mind, until once again I crash into them when dealing with social rejection, loneliness, or shame.

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yumekei-collective · 2 years

Text

I typed this once and then tumblr crashed so fuck me ig

Anyways source shit

My parents were 2 of the leaders of our elven clan. All of us kids were elves minus Newt who was adopted.

Due to their status, they had a lot of connections. Including ones that led to.. some very fucked up shit.

They were abusive to all of us, physically and verbally. Sexually to some of us too.

It started with my older brother & sister. Hiroto & Tsuruno. They were twins.

When they turned 12, my father sold them off to men who ran a sex trafficking thing.

None of us knew what happened then at the time. We were told they ran away.

And every single person after, upon turning 12, besides me, was sold off.

They didn't do that to me because I was trans. They waited for me to transition and be comfortable in my body.

I remember one night at dinner time, I had my headphones on so they thought I wouldn't hear them discussing when to sell me off.

My dad said he planned to do it when I turned 15.

I was 13 at the time.

I tried to kill myself that night. My brother Hunter found me and I didn't die that night because of him.

I tried again a month later, but the same thing happened.

The morning I turned 15 was when I was successful. It was early, my parents were out, and none of my siblings were awake yet.

I won't go into the details because it's not something I'm ready to go into yet.

But, in my world, there is an afterlife. For most you go to either heaven or hell, depending on your life choices. But for me that was different.

Every 50 or so years, the gods of our world would look down upon humans & elves, and find someone who lived a traumatic life. They'd choose that person to be the next god. Most of the people they chose denied the option. But they picked me.

Offered me the spot of the god of darkness.

I took that spot. Didn't have anything better to do so might as well have fun with it, ya know? They said Heaven was strict and I'd just end up kicked out and into hell as a fallen angel, so.

I was only in that spot for a week. And they kicked me out of their realm. Forced me to return to my world because "Darkness and evil are too closely linked, we cannot allow evil to return to this realm"

Yeah kinda bullshit, but. They erased everyone's memories about my death and returned me to my world, still a god, but.. without all of my power.

But the good thing is, by this point, stuff changed.

Hiroto had escaped, he told everyone in our village what happened to him and my parents were kicked out of our clan.

But at the same time, we were kicked out too, since they discovered Newt's existence.

See, Elves have weak immune systems because we have a distinct lack of sickness & disease on our planet. Humans don't. Humans aren't allowed into our village so they can't spread disease and sickness. But Newt was human.

My brother stole all the money from the people who were selling him around so he was able to get us a house in the human's world, but it was

Definitely a scary experience.

Stuff got better though.

Everyone got treated for trauma and stuff,

I met my boyfriend not long after moving there too

Stuff is,

Better now.

#tw abuse #tw sex trafficking #tw rape #tw suicide #tw trauma #💜 he/ghost/wisteria/sae #source talk #source stuff

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thosebrookfieldgirls · 2 years

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I had this thought for a sort of AU/what if scenario where when Jamil,Azul,Leona,and/or Idia overblotted they ended up hurting the girl you coupled them with (Jude and Jamil,Kris and Leona,etc.) not kill them mmind you but end up injuring them really bad

Ooof ok the angst for this one. I'm going to put this under a cut because some people might not be comfortable with this. And bad is rather broad or subjective in terms of what's a bad injury vs a mild injury like the girls have experienced so fair warning there and I'll discuss very degrees of injury and what level it would take for the couple to not happen.

TW: mentions of bodily harm, physical trauma, and psychological trauma. You have been warned

Now all of this is running on the idea this is not a Dark AU of sorts where everyone is actually a villain and not a morally grey asshole. Magic is helpful but not without limits. So no one ment to hurt anyone just a product of blot influence.

So for Leona and Kris it would depend on the degree of injury she suffered as to how the injury would affect their relationship. I imagine if it happened in overblot Leona would have used his unique magic on her which could result in anything from needing skin graphs if she's lucky to losing a limb in the worst case scenario. If it was just scaring because she needed to grow back skin she would be fine. She's never really cared much about that type of stuff and she's never had much self confidence as far as people wanting her for anything more then her body so it doesn't bother her. Even if Leona would probably go through a lot of grief. It might even be interesting to look at the dynamic of Kris worrying he's only around and showing affection out of guilt and Leona actually latching on because despite his magic and it hurting her she stayed.

If she lost a limb though... it could be tough. I don't see her giving up volleyball or sports easily. She would find a way to play even with a disability and I imagine prosthetics are much closer to full metal alchemist in terms of advancement in twist. But her being able to forgive him to the point of having a relationship that was healthy, and Leona forgiving himself with his up bringing... that might he pushing the realms of believability but not implausible. Just very hard.

Azul is actually probably let off the easiest, as far as really injuring her he can maybe break a few bones or crush her with his tentacles. Things that recover. And oh boy, he would make it his personal mission to make it up to her for the rest of his life romance or not. He wouldn't be alive if not for her and she got hurt saving him. He believes in debts being paid, so a life for a life as they say. But again, she would be hesitant to see any romance because she would be considering it gratitude over anything more.

Though if we wanted to go a step further and say he had crushed her voice box and so she couldn't talk anymore that would probably be a limit you don't come back from. Not even cause she blamed him, but she would be in such a depression fit and while he would do his best to help her learn to communicate and fix her voice it would still be pretty melancholy.

Jamil even in overblot I can't see physically hurting Jude. Jamil is a far more psychological person and would probably wreck her mentally. Something I almost did include but decided I was mean enough with his pre overblot speech. She probably would have gotten the Jasmine treatment, but actually remembered what happened. Jamil's unique magic is very interesting in that I think he actually tells the person he's using it on to forget and can chose to let them remember if he wants to. And overblot Jamil, if he was trying to hurt her, would have let her remember. If that happened I don't think either of them would have been able to look the other in their eyes for a very long time. (Though fun fact I did almost have Jude get glass shoved in her side and back from the hour glass breaking but decided against it since she already got her back slashed up the previous arc)

For Eva and Idia, going to be honest I need to see how the overblot goes to know for sure. Though Eva as a character in general does not deal with trauma well and would take an extreme amount of time to forgive any pain regardless of mental state. She grew up with an alcoholic father and so her ability to forgive things "under an influence" is greatly skewed compared to the others.

But yeah... honestly now I kind of wish I injured Kris. Maybe even have had her injured before coming to twisted wonderland. That would have been so interesting and as someone who is dating a person with a physical disability it would have been really easy for me to get infomation on it. Damn, oh well. Maybe in an au or my original story I'm working on.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst oc #thorns and ink #twst mc #judith wieck #kristina kaiser #anne marie ryland #eva frost

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superleeleehipster · 3 years

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Theories on Season 11

Hey! So, as I’m sure you all are very aware, Find Me is out, and I can honestly say that I’m somewhat relieved it did. I was tired of all the theories and anxieties I was feeling about it. At least now we know what we’re working with officially.

I don’t want to make a review, as most blogs have already done their own. For this post, I’m going to jot down some theories on what Leah’s role will be in Season 11. Some of these theories I’ve thought of and others I’ve seen from other bloggers, but I just wanted to get my thoughts down.

Of course, it’s just my opinion, and if you don’t agree, that’s perfectly fine.

Spoilers and theories under the cut...

So is everyone ok after 10x18? Yes? No? No worries on whatever your answer is; your emotions are valid.

Anyways, even though the episode was a bit painful to watch as Caryl shippers, I really don’t think it sunk the Caryl ship. If anything, the subtle (not really) parallels between Caryl and Daryl and Leah just showed that Caryl could very possibly happen despite all the naysayers saying they could never sleep together.

Also, can I say that the whole fish scene was freaking hilarious.

But I digress... I have a few predictions on how Leah’s going to fit into the storyline for season 11. I might hit the nail on the head, or I might be so off that I break my thumb instead, but that’s ok. It’s what makes it fun.

1) I’ve made this first part into a group of theories instead of just one. These are theories that I’ve heard about or read, but I really don’t think are going to happen. They’re just interesting enough for me to list them, but they’re unlikely in my opinion:

- Leah is in Season 11 but in flashbacks - I don’t think they would go this route, because it would be even lazier writing than what we’ve gotten, and it would be more interesting to have her in person instead of being in flashbacks. If they went that way, it would be incredibly obvious that she is a plotpoint for Daryl and that’s it, and that’s pretty crappy writing even for TWD.

- Leah is in Season 11 but she isn’t real - Now this one is an interesting concept admittedly. What if Daryl was in such a crappy mood in the woods, and is thirsting for companionship, so he makes someone up in his head that is pretty similar to Carol, but doesn’t look like her b/c he wouldn’t want to be that kind of creepy friend. Then in Season 11, the viewer realizes one way or another that she was made up, that he made her up in his head to help with his woes, but now that he’s better and with Carol he doesn’t need her anymore. Really neat theory from a mentality standpoint, but I highly doubt that’s where the writers would go.

- Leah is in Season 11, but she dies - I know some folks have said this before, and I get it. Some of us are so done with the drama, we’re just thinking the worst case scenario at this point. What if Leah comes back and Daryl’s all happy and thinks that he’ll spend the rest of his life with her but then Leah dies somehow and he decides to go on a roadtrip with Carol to help with his man pain. I know some peeps feel like that would happen, but in my opinion, I really don’t think so. Angela Kang does have a lot of respect for Daryl and Carol (I know we don’t feel that way right now b/c of 10x18 but bear with me), as she’s said that this is about their story and their journey I really don’t think she would have the story go as low and as misogynistic as that. I honestly don’t.

Now these next two theories are the ones that I believe have a much higher chance of happening in season 11:

2). Leah is in Season 11, and is a part of the new antagonist group (Reapers) - So it wouldn’t be a season of the walking dead without some sort of antagonist being around. The Reapers have already made their presence known with the first extra episode, and I’m sure is going to cause issues throughout the season. An interesting theory that I’m a fan of that people have thought up already is that Leah is part of the Reapers. Whether she’s the leader or one of the followers, it doesn’t really matter, for she’s still a plot device for Daryl.

The current fantasy I’m having is that Leah comes back and tries to get close to Daryl, which Daryl isn’t necessarily against but is still wary. But then Carol notices things about Leah and catches her doing stuff and she’s like “wtf?” and she tells Daryl her concerns but he brushes her off because he doesn’t trust her judgment very much right now. Most ASZ peeps think Leah is a good person but Carol’s like “mehhh something’s off”. Then the reveal happens where Leah is a double agent of sorts and betrays them all by having the Reapers infiltrating Alexandria or some crazy shit like that. Then it looks like she kills Carol in some way and Daryl’s absolutely gut wrenched because his Carol just died at the hands of his crazy ex girlfriend that he believed more than his best friend and what the fuck is wrong with him?? But then Carol comes back and butchers the Reapers cause she’s a goddamn queen and Daryl looks at her like she could fart fairy dust and gives the biggest smile we’ve ever seen him give on the show. Then he hugs her fiercely and starts sobbing, telling her how sorry he was and how relieved he was at her being alive and... same old story that’s happened on MULTIPLE occasions with other shows and books.

Now considering how Leah is made out to be in 10x18, I would say this theory is ‘less likely’ than what I thought it would be originally, but there’s still a decent chance. I don’t think Leah’s a cold blooded/narcissist, but it’s possible she could get roped up with the Reapers... and lets face it, Daryl isn’t the same person from who he was in the woods, so there’s a good chance she won’t be either when she comes back.

3). Leah is in Season 11, and pushes for a relationship with Daryl - Admittedly, this one would hurt to watch, but I think it’s a fair possibility we can’t rule out. Daryl is arguably at a better headspace now than he was way back when in the woods, and he knows he belongs with his family. But then Leah shows up and wants to start things over with him, and it could go multiple ways. He could realize right away that he doesn’t want that, and maybe he and Leah both get closer together. Or maybe he will give it a try for old times sake, but then he realizes that she’s not the person she was, or whom he thought she was, and they’re not actually a good pairing, and then he realizes “you know who I really want? That grey haired queen”... it would probably more emotional than that though.

I mean, we’ve all been there. We break up from a long term partner and it hurts like hell but we heal and we’re stronger for it. But then the ex comes back and is wanting to be with you again, and you’re at the very least tempted to give it a go b/c you were happy with them at one point. But then you’re with them and you realize that maybe this wasn’t a good idea, and maybe you should’ve listened to your goddamn gut all along b/c it was warning you that there’s a reason why it didn’t work out the first time.

Arguably, this theory would be more satisfying than the last one, because it would be Daryl who would choose who he would want to be with in the end. Think about it. We were initially bummed that Ezekiel wasn’t going to get his comic death in season 9 (and of course we were pissed about Henry), but then it turned out for the better because Carol willingly chose to leave him instead of being forced out of the relationship via death. So for Daryl to choose Carol over Leah in the end would be incredibly satisfying, albeit looooong overdue...

I still very much think Caryl is endgame despite the tough road we’re facing. I know folks are taking this last hurdle really hard because it’s been ingrained in our heads that Daryl is a “one woman kind of guy”, but... maybe that’s still the case. Maybe his heart is a “one woman kind of organ”, but Daryl’s been able to move past his traumas enough to be physical with more than one person. At least that’s how I’m seeing things at the moment. Obviously, it’s not good taste to go completely backwards on what is “known” about a character and assume that the audience would catch on as to why it would happen (like how Daryl reading the “children of abuse” book was never addressed in the show, but we’re having to assume he did b/c Norman said he did). Hoping the audience assumes the things that the writers are thinking of has always been an ongoing issue with TWD, so this whole shindig wasn’t necessarily surprising to me.

Anyways, that’s my two cents on things. I still think they’ll happen, and I still trust Kang. I’m just thinking of this as just the angsty part of a fanfic that I love and adore, and I just have to grit my teeth and wait for the author to finish writing the next chapter before hauling ass to my computer to see the update and breaking my desktop in the process. We’ll get to the healing part, I promise.

And if the spin is anything like the playful banter between them in this episode (albeit more mutual and fun), then sign me the fuck up and let me be a voyeur in their passionate travels.

Cheers my loves!

#caryl #caryl positivity #twd spoilers

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