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#(smacking him with a rock)

see-arcane · 2 years

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The reviews are in about the precious menace that is Count Brat Bat:

Post-September 18:

#-smacking him swatting him throwing rocks at him-#the saga of Count Brat Bat is nearly at its end #I have one more post about this little jerk #count brat bat #dracula #dracula daily

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chizu117 · 7 months

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My favorite thing about the Emperor is that it doesn't even use any Special Artifact Powers to catch the MC when they fall from the nautiloid he's just telekinetic

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 the emperor #bg3 spoilers #they are just A Rock to him #it's literally the funniest character I just want to smack its ass and kiss it

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corpsevalrhian · 5 days

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Y'know that trope in alien movies, where absolutely anyone can get levitated into a flying saucer and come out pregnant, including men. Yeah, I like to think Tyler absolutely has that ability, and wouldn't care If you were a chick or a dude, equality opportunity.

All this to say, Absolutely no one is safe from this man's charm or fuck me eyes.

#rory culkin #tyler the expecting #lord knows how many babies he'd father if he hadn't been smacked in the head with a rock #bro could probably start a whole new generation of people #he better cook me more than eggs though #cause if not id physically fight him

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abluescarfonwaston · 2 years

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Today on my brain: Ema who suffered long term physical damage from the car crash that killed her parents and Definitely needs a mobility aid but hates how the cane makes her feel old and like she isn't trying hard enough to get better.

Lana is Begging her to use it and not just ditch it in the car when she leaves for school because she can tell how much the constant pain is wearing on her baby sister.

Enter Edgeworth who was a part of the four year long endeavour to convince Von Karma to use a cane. "He was so excited and relieved after he took to using it i swear he'd have tapped danced if he could. Plus it makes him look more like a count and he adores that."

Just sitting down with her and discussing the issues she's having with it and why she doesn't like it and oh well this might work better and we could certainly customize it to suit you better - but It does sound like it's not providing adequate support. You may want to consider forearm crutches instead.

Lana is fighting the urge to jump for joy when Ema finally agrees to give them a shot. And they help So much. But...

"Oh. Miss Skye. How are the crutches working out for you? You look much more comfortable."

"There nice i guess... But using them feels like I'm giving up on ever getting better."

"... You're in far less pain when you move are you not? That sounds like improvement to me. I like the stickers. They look like their yours now." Paused. "They look good on you Miss Skye."

Ema goes home and screams for three hours. Hugs her crutches. Her crush complemented her!!! Oh she loves them she loves them she loves them!!!!

Lana makes him cookies. Thanks him. He has no idea why but they're very good cookies.

It still takes him almost a decade to admit he needs glasses.

#ema skye #lana skye #miles Edgeworth #disability #disabled characters #mobility aids #shes got 8 different sleeves for them and their covered in stickers #she loves to use them to push the fop away or smack him #when she grows out of them she cries so much all those stickers lost. LOST FOREVER #got some test tubes strapped to it i dont know how #i don't know much about mobility aids or disability but i promise this is done in good faith and with love in my heart #i was just thinking about the 'if your using a mobility aid consider moving up one cause you probably need it' post #and i think ema would absolutely rock some crutches #or a wheelchair #god can you imagine her chair it would be so fucking cool #Ema Skye the wheelie queen

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meatriarchived · 5 months

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stopping mid-xmassy draft cause dire danny intruded for no good reason and at this point im like Okay fine let me jot this down before it escapes me for another month-

but in dire danny au's if he was picked up alone and everyone else got out? guys just like 'okay good you're all safe and alive then. society was already deeming me a potential lost cause anyways so frankly me being stuck here make zero difference happy ya'll are out there able to live'

in ones where hes at least w/ maria its like, dumbass is so fucking stubborn hes so mouthy so venom-laced that he's constantly getting his shit rocked to a mm of deaths door practically, hes constantly disrespecting mama luda frankly, hes probably knocked her over during any escape attempts and gotten beat to shit for it. maria's likely tried pleading with him to stop like she does lee in nosy and for a long while dannys too pissed to listen honestly and idk how johnnys patience with him lasts remotely as long but maybe its just maria's pleading with him not to kill him, to leave him alone, that maybe just helps the idiot ( even if just slightly ) not Die That Day who really knows.

like. danny i dont think ever really gets to a point in his dire au's where, like maria, theres a sense of pure devotion really? least not as strong. but its more of the acceptance on his part that yeah my hands are stained and theres no going back from this theres no re-entering normal society so may as well just embrace the fact that i indeed was a lost cause rather than try fighting it. yknow.

should be noted also if he is alongside maria / lee / whoever of the friendgroup then really, his devotion to them all still remains VERY firmly intact if not Worse because its truly just no bars held anymore he Will Fucking Kill without question for any of them. cant exactly say theres necessarily that same level of devotion / loyalty in terms of the family as a unit, but can see him if anything just like. vague hand gesture comradery in a sense towards johnny / the family where yeah he will kill your ass for them, will pull victims off if theyre being overpowered etc etc.

#if any of this makes sense or not just know dannys Fucking Dumb and its a miracle really if hes kept around long enough w/ his antics #like guy is smart til he fucking isnt and that happens when he Should Not be talking smack to ANYONE or shoving / disrespecting #our mom luda. guys a good tank a good pawn to have but. def takes a while for him to stop getting his shit rocked honestly.

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m-ayo-o · 2 months

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18+ oral, reader shaved her 🐱 size kink, cumming in pants, multiple rounds etc...

a shaved pussy for Choso is like a meal served on a silver platter

he doesn't care about body hair, honestly. he loves any kind of pussy.

but when you've freshly shaved it's like you're inviting him to eat you out and it makes him more eager than usual.

you get out of the shower and lie back on the bed, applying various moisturisers and creams to your body, but you're stopped dead in your tracks when he walks in and sees you hairless.

"oh, baby~"

it was a straight up moan and he hasn't even got his hands on you yet.

but it's only a few seconds until you've dropped all of your bottles of cream and his tongue is between your pussy lips, sliding up and down, searching for that cute little pearl of your clit. he circles it and taps it and gets you cumming in minutes, then he switches to licking your pretty pussy all over. after you're covered in his saliva he spreads you and shoves his whole face right between your legs to make out with your pussy.

"mmmm, fuckkk, that's a fresh fucking pussy!!"

he moans into you.

"th-thank youuuuuu--- you taste good, like honey, keep cumming- -ughh-- again, again, please, please--"

he's so satisfied from giving you oral he ruts his body up against the bed and makes himself cum from the friction alone. and the feeling of your perfectly shaved pussy gets him off every time. he pumps his load through his boxers and gets the bed all wet and sticky, but the poor man is still rock hard from looking at you.

he has to strip off his shorts and show you the mess he's made until you're asking him to put it in!

"please, Cho, will you fuck me?"

and you don't have to ask twice because he's already fitting that oversized tip into your entrance and whining that you're too small.

"baby, Cho, 'm not small y-your dick is just--"

he urges you to say it, forcing more of himself inside until you're almost choking on your words.

"s-soo big~~~"

you finally finish when his tip smushes into your walls and buries into you deep and hard.

his balls start smacking you with a heavy rhythm of pumping as he holds you to the bed and forces you to orgasm over his cock too many times to count.

"fuckk- fuck, Chosooo- s-slow down-- please-"

but he can't hear you.

he's staring at that pretty shaved cunt of yours.

he's already cum inside you once.

but he's still hard.

"won't go down- can't fucking stop--"

he starts tearing up as he continues his desperate rutting, fucking another milky load into you.

"one more, plee--ease--" he begs, but you know it won't be just one more. he's going to fuck you till his body gives out.

you've got to be more careful next time you shave.

choso

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #18+ content #female reader #jjk choso #choso kamo x reader #choso smut #choso jjk #choso x female reader #choso x reader #choso kamo #choso x you #kamo choso

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multifandomhoodies · 8 months

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my work partner and i are both younger siblings and that. has some kind of impact on a lot of our interactions. i asked him to move the truck forward the other day and he hit me with the whiniest bitchiest NO!!! >:( i've heard out of him and i was just like. bRO? he moved it anyways he was literally going to but like. i was like. mf that's some younger sibling shit.

he got baja blast the other day from taco bell and i was like?? where's mine? you went to taco bell and you didn't get me any?? and he was like. no. you didn't bring me any when you had it. anyways so i wound up having to take the truck for a bit and he was like "don't drink my baja blast." and i got back and told him i drank it all. when we were leaving for the day and he finally had a sip of it he said it tasted like someone had spit in it and i told him i put leaf humus in it

#1919 #that's my fucking guy tho fr #sometimes. okay.#i had some shitty friends a few years ago #anyways. there's been two things recently that i was FOR SURE he was gonna make fun of me for #i. had a difficult time lighting matches (just haven't really ever had to) and i told him the next day thinking he'd find it funny #mf? just. pulled out the match book he'd gotten from the bagel place #and was like. here. watch. and just showed me how to do it.i #i thought he was gonna make fun of me for it and find it funny but it was like. very genuine #and then yesterday i smacked a tire on our truck on a sizeable rock #it was in my blind spot #he'd parked the truck and it was on the far side like. not really? my fault #anyways it scared me bc like. hit something and i knew it was just the rock but #he just. didn't make fun of me?#and when i was backing the truck to dump the load and was (understandably) nervous about smacking it again he was very chill like.#im not gonna let you hit it again don't worry #anyways.#i had. bad friends a few years ago and this kind of interaction always makes me really fucking emo #anyways!!! i fucking love him. that's my like. older brother type figure.

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ohcaptains · 7 months

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𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐝𝐚𝐲.

pairing. simon 'ghost' riley x f!reader.

synopsis. simon comes home. he's too tired to fuck you right. eventually, he manages to find the energy.

warnings. 18+ this is sexually explicit, do not read this or interact with my blog if you’re a minor. do not copy or use ai on my shit, i’ll find out. female receiving penetration, blonde simon lol, somnophilia, dry humping, pussy smacking, and crying during sex. i am not responsible for your media consumption.

an. :) life sucked so i found a new animated character to obsess over. please comment & reblog if u enjoyed !

When Simon comes back, he’s dog-tired.

As soon as his feet touch the welcome mat of your quaint little apartment, he feels all of his muscles relax – as if they’re unpinning themselves from his bones – and he has to give himself a pep talk to muster the energy to drag his hand up to ring the bell.

But he doesn’t have to, because you’re ripping the door open – shining like the sun – and pulling him into your body, rendering all 6,4 ft and 240 pounds of the super soldier to complete mush.

For five minutes, you don’t speak. Just hold him, as you gently rub the corner of his jaw, and brush your fingers through his dirty blonde hair. He clutches you to him.

His fat, paw-like hands hold your upper back, and you hold him with the same vigour. His body – wrapped in his black compression shirt and army pants – is rock solid.

It’s a weaving of muscles that have been tensed for the last two months. It’s going to take a minute for them all to soften, but like he always does when he’s been away, Simon lets out a deep and resolute sigh.

The breath warms your neck, causing it to tingle, and you grasp him tighter, your body waking up.

It’s been a long two months.

He manages to push your intertwined bodies through the doorway, using his boot to kick the door shut. His house smells like home -- funny how you can’t smell it until you’ve been gone a while.

Vanilla and a citrus fruit, mixed with the savoury scent of his favourite meal. He hums again, and you scratch the back of his head, sending shivers down his locked spine.

He knows the route to your bedroom like the back of his hand, and he maneuvers the pair of you inside.

The curtains are closed and the bed is made. You know him. You know him so well.

You let him push you back onto the bed – a blur of familiar limbs and hair – and he settles lower, burying his face into the crook of your neck. Immediately, you drag your legs up and cross them over the curve of his ass.

You’re all warm and soft and pliable. Dressed in a pair of simple cotton shorts and a vest top, he wants to grab fistfuls of you and remind himself of how you feel in his palms. Wants to drag his lips over your skin, bully his way between your legs and remind himself of how you taste.

Fuck, he wants you, in a carnal, almost primal sort of way, and you the same. He can smell it. A sweet but sweaty longing that melts from you and causes his senses to wake.

But he’s so God damn tired.

You know. Know this routine. Know that he has to settle back in.

In the meantime, you’ll just have to wait.

You fiddle with his hair. “There’s dinner if you want it,” you whisper into the dark bedroom, looping the strands between your fingers, committing the soft feel to memory.

Simon shuffles just an inch on top of you, but still, the slight movement of his clothes and hard, clenched body against yours makes you take your bottom lip between your teeth.

It’ll be chewed raw by the time he has enough energy to take you. He grunts something into your skin, and after a second, you gather it’s, tired.

His scent clouds you.

When Simon comes back, he always smells the same.

The soap at the barracks is pine scented – shampoo a strict lemon.

But there’s always a leftover grit to him. A hidden layer the soap can’t clean off, and it makes you delirious. Makes you flex your ass up – just an inch, a sweet, gentle inch that has you feeling the hard lines of his thighs and the metal of his zipper, and Simon’s breathing hitches.

You freeze. With your hips pushed tight against his, you stare at the ceiling, hoping that your worn-out soldier hasn’t felt you move.

Simon stays quiet. His breathing settles. You go to apologise, but Simon doesn’t grumble or make a sly comment. Listening closer to his breathing, you gather that he’s asleep.

Jesus, you think, that’s a record. Barely in the door and he’s asleep, he must be burnt out. Figuring that you won’t be able to crawl from under his weight, you decide it’s your bedtime too.

Sleep comes fast.

Hours later, you blearily blink awake. Not much has changed – the room is still dark, Simon is still heavy on top of you, yet now, you’re sticking to him with sweat.

He’s usually a human furnace, but this is different.

Your skin prickles, vibrating at a frequency that has nothing to do with heat. No, this is…you feel a pulsating between your thighs, and wiggle, feeling your slick coating your underwear.

Fuck, why are you so wet? You clench, and the resulting ache forces you to hiss and push your head back against the pillows. What did you dream about? Thinking back, you come up short. Then why--

Simon shuffles on top of you. It’s a slight movement, but it continues, and all at once, your heart clenches.

Holy fuck, he’s—

“Simon?” you whisper, and your boyfriend whines into your neck.

“I’m sorry,” he wheezes, the words wet and desperate. The puzzle pieces lock into place.

He knocks his hips into your crotch once more, and you gasp, clenching, eyes rolling back in pleasure. Simon’s apology comes out again, except this time, it’s christened with a “s-shit – fuck.”

Blinking at the ceiling, you huff and try and glance down, and in the dark, you just about manage to see the outline of his burly body grinding into yours.

You take stock of the situation.

Feel his fat palm around your hip, and squinting, see that he’s got your shorts pulled down around your thighs, and has the band of your underwear looped around his fingers.

Jesus Christ. You fall back into the pillows. “How long have you?” you whisper. “Five – fuck – minutes,” Simon grunts, continuing to roll his thick hips against you. His bulge knocks the edge of your throbbing clit, causing you to gasp again. There’s been no build-up to your want, it’s just there, humming electric, and spread tight over your thighs.

Simon meshes his wet mouth against your chest. He’s tugged your vest top down, too, and his lips close around the skin of your breast. Jesus. He was undressing you as you slept.

“Thought about fuckin’ you, but couldn’t get my pants down, so – shit -- tired. Jus’ woke up and you were just so fuckin’ soft. And wet, Christ, felt you through my trousers.”

Your whole body goes numb. “You were gonna fuck me as I slept?” you whisper, belly flipping. You’d told him – ages ago – that he could, but he hasn’t been here. You’d forgotten.

The image of him pulling your underwear down as you slept streaks across your mind. Imagine waking up with him inside of you, so full and wet and just on the precipice of coming.

Simon grunts. He tugs at the band of your underwear, “I’ll fuck you right, at some point. Just –”

In your delirious state, you manage to finish his sentence, “Tired, I know – I know baby.”

You kiss the crown of his head and whimper into his hair. “Just use me until you’re ready.”

Simon groans out deep and loud. It rumbles against your chest. Echoes through your heart, and you’re so turned on that you begin fidgeting.

You try and squirm away from the stifling ache of your pussy, but Simon’s built like a brick shithouse, so you can’t run from it, just gotta take it and take it and take it, until you can’t anymore, and you break.

You’re so fucked that you don’t even announce that you’re coming, but Simon knows, shit, and as your pussy clenches up tight, he growls low and hard, mumbling, that’s it, that’s it, that’s it, until his movements go sloppy, and his breathing goes laboured, and he’s coming into his pants and mewling your name.

When he finally does manage to get inside of you, he doesn’t last long. No, he pushes all the way to the hilt, and you tighten up.

“Stay” you gasp, clenching your pussy around his shaft, and Simon grunts deep and long into your throat.

“S-Stay there,” you moan, then, in case he didn’t hear you, “Stay,” you whisper, and push the ball of your palm into his thick, scarred shoulder.

You were teetering on a knives edge.

You’ve come once since Simon was home, and your second orgasm of his return was right there.

“You’re so fucking tight,” Simon groans into the shallow of your throat, “Did we do enough prep?”

“Yes,” you immediately whisper, not wanting him to pull out.

He’s thick and pulsing inside of you, hard and heavy on top, and God, he kisses at your throat — soft and gentle. You try to swallow down the ball that has swelled in your throat, but tears prick at the corner of your eyes, threatening to spill.

No no no no, you think. Not now. Not now not now. You try to stifle the tears, but you unconsciously sniff, and despite Simon being perfectly still, he still manages to freeze.

“Sweetheart?”

You inhale, “Yeah?”

Simon looks up; and seeing tears on your cheeks, his face falls, “Did I hurt you?”

You furiously wipe the tears away, shaking your head.

“M’just overwhelmed,” you whisper, and he presses his forehead against yours, going to kiss you, but the movement causes his hips to flex against you, nudging his cock, and you whine, immediately gripping onto the back of his dirty blonde locks.

Simon drops his face into your chest and lets out a pained rasp, “Tightening around me, kid.”

You unclench, “m’sorry.”

“Gonna come quick.”

“S’okay.”

“I’ll fuck you right, just gotta…” he trails off and grabs fist fulls of your hips.

“Fuck,” he huffs wistfully, “This pussy. Missed this fucking pussy.”

You go dizzy with need. Shake your head, and bend to kiss him, tasting his wet and swollen lips. Gently, you knock your hips up into his, and when he lets out a surprised grumble, you flex your hips higher, trying to stuff his cock deeper, further – till you can see it pressing into your belly.

Catching onto your plan, Simon grunts and pushes your hips with his fat palms, pinning your ass to the mattress.

“Stop,” he orders, and the demand goes straight to your cunt. Jesus. He hasn’t been very dominant since his return, and that little instruction has you chomping on the bit.

“Want you, Si.”

“One stroke and I’ll be fucked.”

“Just gotta practice.”

He chokes on a laugh, muttering, “Practice.”

You try another tactic. Clench around his cock and pout, “Want you to come inside me.”

“Fuck,” Simon cuts. You curl your legs back his back and push your foot into the dense muscle of his ass, at the same time rocking your hips up. Simon lets you. Let’s you try and fuck yourself on his cock. With wet lips, you push your mouth into the shell of his ear, shakily uttering his name.

“Gonna fill me up, Si?”

“Fuckin’ filthy, you know that?”

Simon pulls back, and your heart stutters.

You think he’s going to pull out, until he uses your hips to pull you tight against his cock -- your ass nearly sitting on his thighs. His thick, scarred chest is puffed up.

Cheeks red, and he’s got that animal glint in his pretty eyes.

It knocks you for six.

“Where you want it?” he asks, and you’re confused, until he presses the heel of his palm into the middle of your tummy.

“Shoot my load here, huh?”

Your body goes numb. Eyes white out. It happens so suddenly that it scares you, and you’re a mixture of turned on and frightened, but the fear turns you on even more.

All you can do is blearily look up at him as he slides his paw to the other side of your tummy, “or shoot it here. Fuck it so deep that you can taste it.”

He pretends to think about it. Even hums, before he drags his palm up and stuffs his thumb into your mouth. “Or just directly here, huh?” He snarls a smile, “know you like it when your mouth is full.”

You suck at his thumb, and tighten your cunt around his cock, causing his mouth to open, and eyes to flutter, and just like that, you’ve won.

He comes in record time.

But Simon keeps his promises.

A couple of days later – on the seventh day he’s back -- he fucks you so good, that when you wake up the next morning, you get shy just thinking about it.

Lay in bed, staring at the ceiling – your boyfriend fast asleep on your chest -- remembering the debauchery you’d gotten up to the night before.

The pair of you are a little tipsy, drunk on beer and wine, but all it’s done is heighten your senses, and made you fully aware of your desires, so much so, that they pulsate behind your eyelids like a migraine.

Simons got you face down, ass up, and as he pushes you face first into the mattress, he presses his thumb against the tight, fluttering hole of your pussy.

“Gonna let me inside, baby?”

You sink into your thighs and spread yourself wider for him, humming into your crossed arms. Simon watches your pussy spread further, and he can’t help himself, he has to slide his thumb deeper.

He presses, just barely pushing the tip of his thumb into your wet hole, and you gasp, trying to chase the feeling by inching back against his fat palm. He laughs at you. “Look at your pussy sucking my thumb in, baby. Wish you could see what I’m seeing. So fuckin’ sexy.”

You hum, the words making you wetter – dripping over his thumb.

“Been dreaming of fucking you right, gonna take you whenever I want.”

“Okay,” you whisper, so delirious that you’re not sure what you’re agreeing to. Simon raises a brow,

“Yeah?” he asks, tone breathless. Thought he’d get some pushback on that one, but for a second, he forgot that you said the nastiest shit with his dick inside of you.

You nod into your crossed arms, and Simon laughs again, “Free use pussy,” he sounds, then lightly smacks your sodden folds, causing you to flinch, bucking forward.

“Oh fuck,” you choke, eyes rolling back. Heat ricochets through your crotch and swamps your belly, before settling back in your aching pussy. Once you manage to collect yourself – and it takes a second -- you huff. “Bein’ mean.”

Simon snorts, grabs your hips, then rams the underside of his cock against your pussy, grinning so big that his scars stretch, “don’t know the half of it, babe.”

You sob, real tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. Your desire is visceral, enough for you to taste it on your tongue. Simon pulls back, and your slick coats the length of his dick, earning yourself another light smack to your cunt.

“Soakin’ me,” he grunts, and you sob into the sheets. “Please,” you whisper, then, please please please, and Simon hears your breathing hitch.

This time, instead of checking up on you, he chuckles, “Crying again, baby?”

You sniff and wipe your eyes on your wrist, face heating.

“No,” you mumble, and Simon sighs.

He reads you like a book. Always has. Always will.

“Lying to me,” he grumbles, then he steers the uncut head of his cock between your folds, whispering, “Lie to me again, and I’ll give you something to cry about,” before bottoming out in one thrust.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon 'ghost' riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley smut #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley imagine #simon riley smut #simon riley x female reader #simon 'ghost' riley smut #simon 'ghost' riley x reader #simon ghost #ghost smut #ghost x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost x you #call of duty

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