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beautifulblooms · 7 months

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A Lord Brought to His Knees - Karl Heisenberg x Male Reader SMUT

So I may have more things to pull out of my hell that is google drive, anyways, enjoy this shit show, not actually proofread btw, this hasn’t been touched in at least a good couple years, so once again first person pov might be shitty.

CIS Women and Female Aligned people, please DNI, this story and all of my others are for non-binary, masculine aligned and male readers!

Let’s just start off with how Karl ended up in this situation, he decided to be a bitch for much longer than he should’ve been. You were both called to a meeting held by Mother Miranda and of course, Karl wanted to try and tease you. Wrong day, wrong time, things were already going haywire because of some mishaps in the factory that day. One of the dead bodies that had been experimented on got out of its little holding area and started causing havoc. This led to a very upset you, a few broken tables and doors, and one very dead experiment. So when Karl decided to tease you at the meeting by brushing up against your crotch several times, even palming you through your pants once or twice, you knew that tonight he would get his punishment. And that he wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow. Exiting the chapel you grabbed Karl’s wrist and began pulling him to your shared sector of the Romanian countryside you lived in.

“Woah, what's with the rush doll? We’ve got plenty of time to get back to the factory before dark, besides none of the lycans would dare touch either of us.” Karl said trying to A. figure out what pissed you off and B. calm you down a bit.

“Oh trust me, I’m well aware of that, but you on the other hand should be worrying about what’s going to happen as soon as we make it back to that factory. Now walk faster.” There was nothing but anger and bitterness dripping from your words as the walking pace you set became faster. Karl realized he might’ve pushed you too far and now he would have to deal with the outcome, he could handle it, right? Spoiler alert, no he couldn’t. Upon reaching the factory and opening the main doors, you dragged Karl inside and slammed the door shut. “You have exactly five minutes to get your ass up to our room, strip naked, and lay yourself out on that bed before I come up there and give you what you deserve.”

There was nothing but anger and lust in your voice as you gave him very clear instructions about what you expected of him. Karl soon hightailed it up the stairs, taking off his hat, coat, and glasses on the way up. Opening the door to your shared room he began stripping the rest of his clothes, his boots and socks followed by his belt and necklace. Quickly pulling off his shirt and pants along with his underwear he jumped onto the bed, laying himself out like you instructed. You, on the other hand, took your sweet time to get the ropes you had been saving, nylon ropes so they wouldn’t hurt his wrists and ankles too badly and walked up to the bedroom where a naked Karl awaited you.

Walking through the still-open door you looked to the right to see Karl on the bed, sprawled out with a hard-on. A smirk came over your lips, happy he so easily followed directions given how bratty he was earlier. Placing the ropes on the bedside, you began to strip yourself, slowly of course to tease Karl. Once you were down to nothing but your boxers you grabbed the first bundle of the nylon rope, unraveling it to tie up his ankles.

“You my dear have been very obnoxious today, and because of that,” you tied his left ankle to the bedpost, “you will be at my will for the next several hours.” Finishing off his right ankle you moved back to the nightstand to grab the next bundle before repeating a similar process with his wrists at the top of the bed.

“C’mon I didn’t tease you that much I mean it didn’t even look like ya got hard from it.” Karl’s words were shaky, trying to reason with a very angry and horny you was not going well for him, nor would it go well over the rest of the evening.

“I don’t want to hear it, you pushed it too far on a really shitty day and now, here’s the consequences.” A twisted smile replaced your previous expression, finally getting to remind Karl that when he teases there are in fact things you can and will do as retaliation. Finishing up his wrists, you stood back and moved to the end of the bed, staring down at the lovely sight. The powerful Lord Heisenberg tied to his bed with a raging boner almost begging to be touched at all. Walking back over to the nightstand you open the drawer on the bottom, pulling out a black gift box, this is where Karl starts to regret what he did. Once open, all the lovely little toys and things you could ever want to use on Karl were inside vibrators, fleshlights, plugs, dildos, cock rings, and even a cock cage, to say you had the strangest order history from the Duke was an understatement.

Looking down at your options, you pulled out one of the vibrators that you could strap around his dick and one of the larger plugs. Placing the box by his feet you crawl onto the bed and straddle his chest to face his dick, strapping the vibrator around his cock and turning it on pretty high he began to jerk his hips up at the mild touch from you, and extreme stimulation he was now experiencing.

“Oh fuck me, why so god damned high?” Karl was groaning and forced some words out in protest of your actions.

“I will just give it a while, and it’s turned up so high because I said so.” There was a bittersweet tone to your voice, happy with how he was taking the punishment. Moving off his chest, you turned around and shuffled between his legs, now grabbing the plug you pulled out. “This will stand in for me for a little bit, so get comfy.” You smiled sickly at him, the face he made was enjoyable to you given what you were currently doing. Pushing the plug to his rim, you started slowly feeding it into his hole, moans left the lord below you. Finally bottoming out the plug, you began to thrust it in and out of him gently, trying to make this enjoyable for him for the short period you were touching him. Thrusting it in one last time, you let go of the glass plug that now sat inside of him, a small noise of distaste left his mouth when you stepped off the bed and moved to the desk chair on the other side of the room, in perfect view of the bed.

“So are you just going to watch me deal with all of this from over there?” Karl was upset that you weren’t touching him, his words still shaky, and struggled as the vibrator continued its job.

“Yeah, I am, I might just read a few chapters of a book while I’m at it.” Another sickly sweet smile was sent in his direction while you grabbed the book off the desk to your left, opening it to where you had read last. However, Karl was rather determined to get you to touch him, moaning, groaning, and whining too loud for you to focus on the words written on the page.

“Please just come touch me, anything, please, I’m sorry, ple-” Karl’s sentence was quickly cut off by his first orgasm of the night, you were honestly surprised it took this long considering you had put the vibrator on nearly 5 minutes ago.

“I thought I made myself very clear that I was going to let you deal with all that for a while before I did anything, this is your punishment remember?” Without even looking up from the book you tried to remind him once more that he was in the dog house for the shit he pulled earlier. Trying to once again focus on the novel in your hands you took a deep breath and started reading. The sounds of Karl’s moans and whines were pleasant background noise at this point, you were now able to tune them out to some degree, but still keep track of how many orgasms he was having.

Finishing off the 20th page of that evening, you looked over at Karl for the first time since you sat down. His face was covered in tears, spit dribbled down his chin and mixed into his beard as his abdomen and thighs were drenched in his own cum. The sight could make anyone turned on, but knowing that this happened because of you made it even better. Accepting that his five orgasms were enough without your help, you grabbed the bookmark and placed it between the pages, closing and setting down the book on the desk before standing up. Walking to the end of the bed you smiled at Karl.

“How do you feel baby?” Your mind was still set on making sure he knew better than trying to tease you in front of everyone again.

“Please just fucking touch me, it hurts please, I’m sorry I won’t do it again just *groan* touch me” Satisfied with the response you got, you crawled onto the bed, sitting between his legs as you turned off the vibrator and took it off, his cock red and angry, still hard as could be even with cumming five times. Leaning up to his face, you kissed him as a reward for putting up with this for so long. He could’ve just used the safeword after the first few orgasms but he stuck through it like a good little puppy.

“You wanna be touched huh? Who do you want to touch you, who makes you feel the best?” There was still something in you that knew he wasn’t quite broken to where you wanted him, persistent to get him to whine and beg for your dick a little more.

“You, I want you to touch me please, you’re the only one that makes me feel good, please just fuck me, fuck me (y/n)” There it was, that’s all you needed to hear to make you pull the plug out of his ass. Standing up to pull your boxers off, you reached over to the nightstand once more to grab the bottle of lube you kept in the top drawer. Popping the cap off, squirting some of the cold viscous liquid into your palm before rubbing some on your cock, now fully erect at the sight of the fearsome Lord Heisenberg broken to almost nothing. Getting back onto the bed, you sat between his spread thighs, moving one of your fingers that still had lube on it to his ass and pushing it in slowly. His moans were like music to your ears, curling the finger you had inside him you quickly put in a second and started to scissor them.

“Just put it in already, I’ve been sitting with that plug up my ass for an hour, I’m more than stretched.” His bitter attitude was making you wish you had left him for another hour.

“I will fuck you when I want to fuck you, and you will be patient.” You should’ve known that he would backmouth you as soon as you started to touch him. Continuing with your stretching you shove a third finger in and continue to scissor him. The only noises in the room were the squelching of his lubed hole and his moans. Pleased with how stretched he was you pulled your fingers out and jacked yourself off a few times before pressing the tip to his ass. Finally pushing into him, you slowly continued inch by inch, his hole almost sucking in more of your dick each time you pushed in more. Bottoming out you just let the both of you sit there for a minute, letting Karl get used to feeling full and you get used to his walls squeezing your cock.

Pulling all the way out to the tip of your cock, you slammed back into his hole setting a brutal pace, only chasing your own pleasure at this point. Pounding his prostate his moans jump a pitch as he grabs at the ropes binding his wrists to the bedposts wishing he could do nothing more than rake his nails down your back.

“Let me touch you, I want to hold you, (y/n) please” Karl’s composure was starting to fully crumble, and you smiled at his begging. You were not about to let him possibly overpower you by letting his arms free so you pulled out of him and moved down the bed. He whined as you left his hole, not happy that his pleasure had ended, no matter how painful it was. Untying his ankles very quickly, you moved between his thighs again and pushed into him setting your pace back to what it was.

“Y-ou bastar-“A moan cut off Karl’s words as you rammed into his prostate, changing your angle to make sure you hit every time now.

“Be careful with your words pup, they might just be your ruin.” There were a couple of breaks in your sentence as low groans left your throat. Karl’s walls clenched around your cock as he came once more, seeing him cum only spurred you on more to keep pounding into him. “God you look so hot like this, covered in your own cum while I fuck you dumb.”

Karl could only reply with whines, not able to formulate words with how fast your hips pistoned into his. He was starting to break down to where you wanted him, finally. Not slowing down at all you continued to ram your cock head into his prostate, he needed to cum at least two more times before you were satisfied with his punishment. After a few more thrusts into him, he started to clench around you. The added pressure to your cock made you cum into him, but he wasn’t getting away just yet.

Continuing the brutal assault on Karl’s prostate, your thrusts didn’t slow down, you barely felt any overstimulation at all. His whines and pleas to slow down were music to your ears as Karl looked up at you with teary eyes and puffy cheeks.

“Does puppy like my cock pounding his hole?” The taunting only brought more whines, poor thing couldn’t make any actual words anymore. “C’mon I don’t like being ignored, give me an answer pup.”

“Y- *hic* ye-ess” managing to get but the one word out was hard enough for the lord, with his overstimulated body and throat raw from moaning. Karl’s orgasm came quickly with each pound of your hips onto his, the knot in his stomach grew tighter and tighter before he came. Well, not really. He orgasmed, but it was dry, nothing but his stiff cock sitting there and a blissed-out look on his face.

“Just one more baby, I know you can do it for me.” Your tone started to show more kindness, and I'm happy that Karl put up with so much of this already. Folding his legs at the knee, you threw them over your shoulder, locking Karl into a mating press. Somehow you managed to only get faster in this position as your cock head drove even deeper into your lover's ass. A few minutes later Karl had yet another dry orgasm while you finished chasing your second, filling him to the brim. You let Karl’s legs go from their position but didn’t quite leave him just yet. The moment you took to catch your breath, you also used to lean up to the smaller male's wrists and untie them from their bonds.

The lord was too weak now to do anything but lay limply on the bed, legs still loosely wrapped around you. Pulling out you groaned from the wave of pain and overstimulation that hit you, only able to imagine how Karl would be feeling in the next few hours. You climbed off the bed and headed to the connected bathroom, knowing you couldn’t lift Karl up, and that he definitely couldn’t walk you settled on wetting a rag and heading back to him.

“Hey baby, do you need anything? Some water or Tylenol?” there was nothing but love and pure contentment in your voice as you began to wipe Karl’s chest, thighs, and face down with the rag.

“Mmhm” so weak from the rough treatment he couldn’t even express more than a groan of approval.

“Alright, I’ll get you some water” Leaving a kiss on his head, you snagged your boxers off the floor near the desk and slipped them on, headed down the hall to the kitchen to grab one of Karl’s mugs. Easier to hold a mug than a glass in his condition. Then rummaging through one of the cabinets you found the Tylenol, pouring two into your palm you headed back to the bedroom. Karl hadn’t moved an inch from where he was when you left the room. “Here, sit up a little.” Placing the pills and water on the nightstand you helped to move him up slightly with a couple of pillows behind his back.

Giving him everything he needed you sat down next to him, running a hand over his thigh.

“Remind me not to piss you off again” A small chuckle from you followed his statement.

“Oh baby, I could remind you time and time again but you wouldn’t listen, we both know you’re too stubborn for that.” You leaned up to lightly kiss him on the lips. It was already past dusk, and he decided it best to simply lay in bed and sleep until morning, not like he was going to be up early like normal.

“You sure you’re okay? I didn’t go too hard on you?” Trying to see what level of care he would need in the morning you asked him a couple of questions.

“If you went too hard I would’ve said the damn safe word, now get over here and cuddle me.” His demand was cute, but you followed it nonetheless, not wishing to be anywhere else in the world at that moment.

“I love you my dear Lord Heisenberg.”

“I love you too Lord (L/N)”

#male reader #male reader fanfic #x male reader #mlm account #nblm account #karl heisenberg x male reader #karl heisenberg #karl Heisenberg x reader #karl Heisenberg resident evil #resident evil x male reader #resident evil #resident evil 8 #re8 #re8 village #re8 heisenberg

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glacialpacer · 3 months

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🚨Spoiler alert 🚨

When I tell you guys that this story by @she-speakss has me in a chokehold, I mean it!! There is a scene in chapter 10 during Miranda’s birthday party that is told from Emily’s POV that is so good, and I cannot shake it. It really conveys the intensity of the intimate relationship that Andy and Miranda have cultivated throughout their years of “friendship” (🥴). I can’t get the scenes out of my head. I’ve imagined them physically intertwined in so many ways that I had to create something that kinda sorta depicts what this scene looks like to me.

It doesn’t take Andy long to make her way to their coveted area, and she watches Doug pass her a fresh Gin martini that she thanks him for with a wide smile. She sips it once, leaving only a trace of lipstick on the rim, before putting it down and situating herself directly behind Miranda. Wraps her arms around her slim waist and hooks her chin over her shoulder.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Emily hears her murmur against her neck and see’s Miranda’s answering nod as she leans into the embrace, the woman automatically lifting her arms to make room for Andy’s, settles her hands on top of them without breaking eye contact or even disrupting the flow of conversation with Serena because they must have done this a thousand times by now, fit together like this. Cassidy catches her eye where they both ruefully chuckle and shake their heads, because it is a little bit funny, watching them be so unguarded like this. Flushed with alcohol and merriment both.

#mirandy #miranda priestly #andy sachs #mirandy manip #miranda and andy #andy sachs’ camera roll

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lucienne-thee-librarian · 9 months

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18 on the choose violence 😏

EDIT: As y'all may have guessed, my queue I was saving drafts of these in was running last night and I forgot to switch the time over so here's the real answer.

18 - It's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on: you want me to CHOOSE?!? You expect me to CHOOSE just ONE character from Sandman that the fandom sleeps on?!?!?!? Oh, jail for 1000 years - well let me spin the roulette wheel Rose and Jed.

ROSE. God I'm emotional about her. She's been through so much, the loss of her baby brother with a father who it's implied was not the nicest, lost her mother and her best friend in the same year, and she nearly destroyed the world but yknow what, she literally did nothing wrong here. She called Dream an asshole and totally got away with it. She's got gay hair and gayer friends (fellow bi!Rose truthers anyone???? Hello??? Someone else please discuss, queer people do all tend to flock together) and I hope she gets everything she wants.

I really want to explore the possibilities of a growing relationship with her and her immortal family sometime. Morpheus isn't just going to forget about her and Jed and him looking out for her baby brother is the only way I can see her kind of starting to warm up to him again. Like I WANT to see that weird tense but possibly loving relationship explored. Dream clearly respected her intelligence and wanted to give her more information (even if he was also using her to find the Corinthian which. Not cool).

(Also I think she'd go NUTS for the library of Dreams. Like she's a writer and suddenly she's seeing all the books never published?? Who wouldn't want to read them all?)

I have feelings about the parallels between her and Death. Plus I have a hc as some of my friends already know, that in one of Rose's low moments Despair finds her and something about the fact that this girl is family tugs at her. She has her function and her duties but she also has a sense of loyalty. So that could cause some seriously juicy potential internal conflict for her AND Rose honestly kind of needs an outlet for her bottled up grief and the weightof responsibility she feels. For Jed, for Lyta and her son...feel free to ask or dm me if you want to know more this post is already long enough xD

(And the fact that in a series where she's ONE OF THE MAIN FUCKING CHARACTERS for multiple episodes of this series she gets so much less attention ON HER OWN SELF - I'm talking art and fic overall PERIOD, let alone stuff where she gets any interiority of her own or her character taken seriously is just. I don't even know man)

jED. My precious baby boy my son. I want to give him a hug. I want to wrap him in a warm blanket and give him cocoa and as much popcorn as he wants. Dream's reaction to Jed was in fact channeling me. This kid has been through too much and he deserves to live a happier life with his sister, so thank God he's gonna get it.

(But also does anyone wanna talk to me about the fact that Jed is a possible candidate for Dream's successor when he's older and might be even more viable than MASSIVE COMIC SPOILER ALERT Daniel Hall and all the ways this could complicate things HELLO.)

Miranda Walker - either the gif search function is broken which isn't beyond the realm of possibility here, or I couldn't find one gif of her in this show. And I KNOW people have made them I just can't find one...sigh

But I really want her to get more attention because her story is so potentially fascinating even if she barely got any screen time. Like this girl is the granddaughter of Desire, that must've massively impacted her life. I want to know how she dealt with the relationship with her children's father going sour and him taking Jed away and her struggling to raise her kids.

And last but certainly not least drumroll please...UNITY. That's right we're giving the whole Walker-Kincaid family some love!!

HER. The queen the legend the moment.

Her story man...it gets me emotional every time. She could've had a life in the waking world. I really want to see more about what her dream life (which we know she experienced as real, with time passing and all, because of the things she said about it) was like. Even without Desire, how did she handle basically growing up in Wonderland surrounded by dreams? (I can't take credit for the Alice in Wonderland vibes that was @violetoftheendless 's great idea.) Did she make friends and a new found family there? Did she see signs she didn't understand at the time of dreams and nightmares falling into chaos and eventually leaving the realm in a slow trickle?

But also she's just such a genuinely lovely person. She took Rose into her heart without a second thought and was prepared to take Jed - I'm sure she didn't know how much more time she had but she knew she didn't have forever, and she wanted a family again and she'd lost her own parents long ago and never gotten to say goodbye...and the kicker is, unlike in the comic where she's basically on her deathbed already, she COULD have possibly lived a little longer. But she chose to sacrifice her new life to save Rose's. If this woman doesn't deserve the Spirit of Love label like I've seen in some truly beautiful meta from @windsweptinred I don't know who does. BUT ALSO she's not a perfect inhuman angel either, she is capable of being charmed by the Corinthian, which - looking around at the fandom, one can see she's not alone so I for one can't blame her too much, but also she met the king of dreams and nightmares and within less than 5 minutes called him a himbo to his face. She's beautifully human with icon behavior and Sandra James-Young deserves all the credit in the world for this role.

#rose walker #jed walker #unity kincaid #miranda walker #choose violence ask game #the sandman #me banging pots and pans together in delight going ROSE AND JED AND UNITY ARE ALL THE BEST CHARACTERS AND I WILL DIE FOR THEM AND YOURE ALL #GONNA HEAR ABOUT IT thanks for giving me the excuse :) not that I need one

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a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives · 5 months

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Why 'Black Sails' Is Still Worth a Watch

These pirates' lives made for some great television.

(Spoiler alert for people haven't watch!)

The Big Picture

Black Sails is an underrated pirate series that serves as a prelude to the novel Treasure Island.

The show explores the origins of Captain Flint and John Silver, and their journey from noblemen to pirates.

The series features an ensemble of real-life pirates, has a prolific cast, and delves into darker and more introspective themes than other pirate shows.

Pirates make for great entertainment. From the swashbuckling thrills of the Pirates of the Caribbean films to the animated antics of One Piece, and recent hit shows like Our Flag Means Death, buccaneers and their battles on the high seas have provided a wealth of stories for screens large and small. One of the most underrated pirate stories happens to be the Starz series Black Sails. Over the course of four seasons, a gripping narrative of blood and betrayal was woven.

Created by Jonathan E. Steinberg and Robert Levine, Black Sails was crafted to fill the void left by Starz's previous heavy hitter Spartacus. And much like the Rome-set series, Black Sails features an ensemble cast and drew inspiration from another creative work. In this case, the show serves as a prelude to the novel Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson, and focuses on two characters from the novel: Captain Flint (Toby Stephens) and new crew member John Silver (Luke Arnold). While other prequels to famous works feel the need to explain every little detail that surrounds the preceding source material, Black Sails takes a different path and explores how its pirates came to be the men they are.

Captain Flint and John Silver Are at the Center of This Swashbuckling Story

In the second season, Flint is revealed to have turned from a nobleman's life to that of a pirate following the imprisonment and death of his lover Thomas Hamilton. Adding salt in the wound is the death of Thomas' wife Miranda, which pushes Flint over the edge. Throughout the series, he attempts to gather his fellow pirates into a force that will rival the British fleets; he also tracks down and kills those who wronged him. By the series finale, Flint has finally won his war and becomes the ruler of the pirate nation Nassau. Stephens portrays Flint with a quiet intensity that often boils over into bloodlust and/or rage given who he interacts with.

During his quest, Flint must deal with Silver, who often schemes against him and ultimately winds up betraying him in order to gain a greater share of the gold hidden in the Spanish ship known as Urca de Lima, which drives the plot of the first two seasons. However, over the course of the series, Silver grows to be a loyal ally to Flint and the crew of the Walrus, and uses his schemes to help them survive. True to the book, Silver suffers extreme torture in Season 2 that forces him to have his leg amputated — but even though he has a peg leg, it doesn't make him any less dangerous.

'Black Sails' Explored the Lives of Real-Life Pirates and Deeper Themes

Black Sails was also notorious for introducing several real-life pirates into its narrative. Chief among them was Blackbeard (Ray Stevenson), who goes by his real name of Edward Teach. Teach enters into a partnership with Flint and the other pirates when they seek to retake Nassau from Captain Woodes Rogers (Luke Roberts), who Teach wants revenge against for reasons initially unknown. Stevenson is utterly terrifying as Teach; he towers over everyone and even defeats Flint in a sword fight — when Flint is the one who challenged him! Other real-life pirates include Zach McGowan as Charles Vane, Toby Schmitz as Jack Rackham (otherwise known as "Calico Jack"), and Clara Paget as Anne Bonny.

Black Sails contains what may be one of the most prolific ensemble casts for a cable series; each member went on to star in more genre fare. Tom Hopper, who portrayed Billy Bones, is a major part of The Umbrella Academy on Netflix. Jessica Parker Kennedy, who plays Max, made an appearance on The Flash as Barry Allen's daughter Nora. Stephens has appeared in the James Bond film Die Another Day, as well as Netflix's Lost in Space. Stevenson has been in all sorts of genre fare including Ahsoka (in his final performance), Punisher: War Zone, Thor, and G.I. Joe: Retaliation. This is another thing it shares in common with Spartacus, as that show has seen many of its alums go on to alternate genre fare (none likely more famous than Lucy Lawless, who defined early genre TV when she played a certain warrior princess).

Black Sails stood out from other pirate series by going into darker places, especially where its characters were concerned. Though Flint was the protagonist, he'd commit cold-blooded murder, especially if anyone crossed him. Betrayals were second nature; one minute two of the pirates could be allies and the next they'd be at each other's throats. And for all the blood, sex, and swearing, the series was rather introspective; it explored the mental cost Flint's past took on him, and was willing to question whether or not he could truly find peace. Black Sails was definitely a series ahead of its time, not just in pirate media but in genre storytelling on the whole, and the map it laid out would lead to many similar elements playing out in shows that would soon follow, like Game of Thrones and The Witcher.

Black Sails is available to stream on Starz.

Note from admin: Black Sails coming to Netflix US on 1st January, stay tuned!

Source: Collider

#black sails #luke arnold #tom hoppers #toby schmitz #zach mcgowan #clara paget #jessica parker kennedy #ray stevenson #luke robert j #article

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antheiantics · 9 months

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ENTJ Behaviours - Everyday things the Internet analysis don't tell you about - weirdly specific edition

Loud loud laugh. The type of laugh to make you go under the table. Happens roughly 2-3 times a day.

Shouting for no apparent reason.

Zoomies, yes, zoomies around the house.

Zoomies in talking - The point is to get it out fast and furious and go on with the day. Spoiler alert: 80% of the time I have to repeat myself, because people didn't understand my point delivered in Eminem speed. I'm fine, we're fine, it's fine.

Constantly forgetting people don't have the ability to understand with just one, maximum three words. Exception: INTX

Hating to be late and arriving early. Completing several tasks while waiting.

Having absolutely no tolerance on people who are late. Holding a grudge about it. Waiting for the day to just leave so the other person learns from it.

Abrupt style changes that shock people - going from casual business to grunge fairycore, not realising that people get confused with the vibe.

ENTJ procrastination is a thing - it's just procrastinating by doing other smaller tasks instead of doing the big looming one.

Being confident all the time except in a specific moment in which it's required to.

Ordering food at McDonald's because your extroverted friends were "too shy" to.

Waiting for those same friends to say "hi" to the entire planet while you try to look confident, pretty and approachable.

Being invited in the conversation in the span of one minute and hitting it off for the next 10 minutes.

Walking fast.

The boulevard is the runway and y'all are just peasants interrupting the strut.

Making detailed plans about being a successful company owner in 10 years, but forgetting to take in the sheets the next day. Short-term goals - a strong point, if forced. Day to day to-do list - not a strong point at all, unless written down (most of the time confident enough to remember our own tasks) (most of the time we forget to do several of them, or postpone them to shove three more that we planned to do after two weeks, but oh well, an opportunity arose - extremely specific, might not apply)

Patience. Monstruos amounts of it. Miranda Priestly was just fed up after so many years in the industry and I can see why.

Pet peeves are inefficiency and people who repeat the same mistake over three times, after it was explained to them by multiple people.

Strong opinions. Controversy. How are y'all dealing with Cruella (Emma Stone) and Elizabeth Bennett (Pride and Prejudice) mix, type of person? Genuinely curious. Not asking for a friend.

As for the ENTJ men reading this - do you have like a list or diagram, with all the people that manage to keep up with your Stewie Griffin (South Park) , Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows) tendency to "invest" and Thranduil(The Hobbit/LOTR) type of beauty and pride, and how long is it? Again, genuinely curious.

Wrote the origins of criticism and invented self-criticism in the process, because emotional liability got invented roughly around the same time and apparently it was "too much" *side glances INFPs*

Crying only out of helplessness (not if you can help it, ofc) and anger.

Fan of stupid puns (extremely evident)

Might unintentionally ghost people or leave them on seen, because they messaged you while your brains were working overtime (happens too often)

Caffeine doesn't work, but it's a ritual of pleasure, not to be missed, unless the day is bound to finish in prison. Same could be said if you take tea instead of coffee.

Relaxing by watching documentaries about successful people.

De-stressing by drinking wine with that one close friend that you see once a month due to busy schedules and talking about life.

That close friend also happens to be the closest one to IxxJ type and thoroughly listens while we explain the nature of emotions and why we think that the normal emotion we felt is a terminal illness.

Flirting is a way of surviving not a way of life. Take it as you wish.

Inspecting and dissecting your crushes so you know what you're dealing with. Most of the time we "un-crush" them with a snap of our fingers.

Sometimes we "just go with it" and end in a semi-casual situationship.

When they tell you we are confident and undisturbed by flirting, they're probably lying or not competent enough about speaking on real (not psychology explained) life. We do. It's just not obvious. INTJs, INTPs and ENFJs might not agree, because they somehow just know.

Getting hurt over minimal details people mentions about us throughout a conversation but being unaffected by "the big ones".

Which is hilarious because we're major "big picture" people - details are the things we see last. Sometimes, we don't even bother to inspect them.

ENTJ: Ah, ah, okay, bye-

Other people: No, wait! There's-

ENTJ: I pretty much got it, bye-

P.S. "Pretty much go it." or "I'm gonna wing it.", but make it organised, are probably catch phrases by now. No matter what people tell you that's a major trait of XXXJ people.

When I told you we invented criticism, I forgot to mention we also helped ESTJ and INTJ invent sarcasm.

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milkiedimitrescu · 1 year

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How shadows of rose should have went

Part 1

Wanted to skip to the dungeon part cause I'm not drawing that whole scene with that random guy who was actually (spoiler alert) Miranda herself.

Waaaay too lazy for that.

I'm bad at drawing, I know

#alcina dimitrescu #rosemary winters #shadows of rose #resident evil 8 #re8 dlc #my comic #lady dimitrescu #rose winters #They are so surprised they somehow know each other 💀#I'm too lazy to color it

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pelgraine · 1 month

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random late night AU idea - change the Flood to vampirism

[Spoilers for Halo s02e08 ahead - and I note I'm not familiar with the lore, just with the show for the most part.]

I was randomly wondering how the UNSC would handle it because vampires would still look humanoid and not as other and alien as the Flood would. It immediately had me thinking about that brilliant Tumblr post which I'll struggle to find again that talks about the true horror of the undead is when it looks like your loved one but there's a monster inside, and then there's that story about the boy who says his brother is dead and still here and yet he can never tell the monster wearing his brother's skin about the bullies at school because he knows they'll immediately get hunted down and torn to shreds and even the bullies don't deserve that, so he never says anything and continues to pretend he thinks it's his brother but knows it's just a vampiric monster in the shape of his dead sibling - and honestly, that's both tragic, metal af and terrifying.

And I wonder if maybe there would be some infected by the virus that might turn animalistic with no retention of sanity at all, and maybe some who end up retaining most of their human aspects and all of their previous intelligence. Because the idea that Halsey or Parangosky get infected with the virus and then just keep on keeping on with their worst selves is both a horrifying and fascinating idea.

And maybe the Halos were created because the Forerunners couldn't figure out how to kill life that was already dead - or at least, a virus or bacteria perhaps that just kept reanimating and mutating in the host cell no matter what you blasted it with. And maybe the main reason the Forerunners created weapons that obliterated everything because they became terrified by the idea of monsters inhabiting the shape of their people, their loved ones, their leaders, etc, because some of said monsters got so good at pretending it was difficult to distinguish or trust anyone or know the truth of matters until it was too late and you caught them feasting on people.

Thinking about Miranda discovering you can't fully cryofreeze someone infected with the vampire virus and she's horrified to see Halsey still evidently conscious but not fully alert. Eventually, once she's realised she can't find a cure and can't keep Halsey halfway frozen indefinitely because Miranda can't bring herself to that level of cruelty, she finds herself having to rig up a system of blood banks to keep Halsey going once Miranda realises she's not going to run around eating people - but then soon sees Halsey getting obsessed with the evolutionary potential so completely that Miranda eventually realises it's amplifying many of Halsey's worst traits and she starts thinking maybe she'll have to put down her mother - her last remaining family member - before Halsey starts experimenting with Spartans and turning the supersoldiers into vampires too, or worse, or because Miranda is very slowly coming around to the idea that if the vampire wearing Halsey's skin is allowed to continue existing none of them will ever really be safe.

And maybe it's why the Elites have such an aversion to medicine/doctors/medical treatment - because maybe thousands of years previously they nearly got completely wiped out as a species by the vampire infection and the only way they made it through was by killing everything that was even poteno infected. So that gets twisted over time into those Elites that get badly wounded choosing to die rather than seek medical attention, because it's more honourable to do that than run the risk of unknowingly being infected and potentially turning and infecting/wiping out their communities.

#halo series #halo fanfiction #halo season 2 #miranda keyes #catherine halsey #halo vampire au

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sku11kidz · 3 months

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can we have some Lord Winters HC?

your fic has me curious about your version of him

Lord Winters :}

Clearly I’m not the only person who made a Lord Winters AU

Stuff for me under cut

Backstory(?):

>Ethan had Rose taken from him by Miranda instead of Chris

>Ethan goes to save Rose but Miranda makes a deal with him and is like “If you join me, I’ll let you have Rose”

>Spoiler Alert: Miranda kills Rose trying to save Eva and now Ethan is stuck with the lords

>Oh yeah…Mia is dead :( Miranda killed her as a threat to Ethan

Okay backstory done :)

Gameplay:

>The protag is Reader for the time being

>Reader is (again) a child

>He lives in a large house (like the one under)

#ethan winters x reader #Lord Winters AU #resident evil village #re8 ethan winters #ethan winters #ethan resident evil

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angrycloudloud · 10 months

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Spoiler alert of Good Omens season 2

I'll try to explain the feeling of "this is a fanfic I've read before" by that I'll take in consideration not only "the coffee theory" but also the re-cast of actresses in other roles and the references to Doctor Who.

Enjoy my madness, and re watch season 2 so Amazon gives us season 3, please.

First:

We have the interesting choice of Derek Jacobi as Metatron and my personal hate/dislike/discomfort towards Metatron that I carry with me from the Supernatural Fandom and the discorporate scene from season 1.

I said interesting choice of Derek Jacobi as Metatron, because he was the proffesor Yana in Doctor Who during the season with Martha Jones as a companion, but you probably remember better the plot of proffesor Yana being The Master WITH NO MEMORIES OF BEING THE MASTER. (I'm chill, I'll take a deep breath)

The parallels with the amnesia plot and someone being better person with no memories between Jim/Gabriel and Yana/TheMaster are quite remarkable, but I want to point out that Metatron is one of the closest angels to God and we haven't heard from God this season unless we talk about the flashback from the Job story, so it's probable that Metatron is the real one in charge of Heaven since Armageddon't happened in season 1.

One of Metatron powers as we were told at the end of the season 2 is that he can rewrite the book of life. Archangel Michael wanted to use that power to erase the existence of those who hide Gabriel from heaven, but Metatron refused that option and send them to heaven, proving that he has more authority than the archangel Michael or Uriel.

I wanted to point out that to explain my next point, witch is one I have no real proof of... Anyway, I think Metatron is messing with reality and that's why we all get that feeling of "this is a fanfic I've read before". Why do I say that? When Jim/Gabriel was "putting in order" the books in the book shop he read the first sentence of the original material the show is based on, the book Good Omens write by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, that proves that the book exist in that reality and if a being other than God herself can be conscious about the fact of being in a novel or can manipulate the reality to turn the story of season one into a novel and write a fanfic after the end of that story... That character is Metatron.

I'm not sure of why he would have done that, but that will lead us to may next point.

The actresses who play completely different characters this season.

First we have our dearest Madame Tracy, Miranda Richardson, playing the demon Shax who is Crowley's substitute in his hell of a job. (sorry about that pun)

After that we have Nina and Maggie.

This is where it gets interesting. Because the actresses are playing characters with their real names and no last names (sorry if I'm wrong, I'll correct this if I'm wrong), but in season 1 Maggie played Sister Theresa Garrulous and Nina played Sister Mary Loquacious, both of them involved in the mistake that lead to Armageddon't being the both of them the ones (along with Crowley) that messed up the switch of the babies.

So... I think Metatron is mad about the events of the season one (the whole Great Plan thing), he could have tried to talk with God but she was enjoying the turn of events that Crowley and Aziraphale caused and ignore the rest of the children (a.k.a the angels) which lead the archangels to try again (I think Metatron was the master mind behind "Michael's plan" because archangel Michael has proven to be a bit incompetent this season only cares for the title of boss but not really good at it) and they vote about it, but the Bureaucracy Husbands were already a thing and make Armageddon't 2 even before the actual Armageddon could start to be put on action.

That is why I think the "present" of the story started with that fanfic/fictional-story feeling of fiction with a "nice morning" and Aziraphale being an angel towards the humans around him (which is suspicious that said human is Maggie) and finally the arrive of nude Gabriel as a plot start point.

I point this out because in season one God narrated things and all felt more normal, like the world was boring, ordinary nothing really extraordinary if demons or angels or the antichrist weren't involved (which was the reason Newton Pulsifer could located the unusual weather Taddfield had the prior eleven years), but this season the ambientation of the street was different (or I felt that way) like it was nicer less mundane or normal or ordinary...

We know angels don't completely get the human behavior, that's why I know I saw humans doing human things and having human reactions (when everyone was filming naked amnesiac Gabriel or the owners of the shops) but things like the ambientation of the street or Maggie and Nina's reactions towards magic (in season 1 Shadwell, Madame Tracy, Anathema, the Them or Newton had more realistic reactions when miracles were perform around them) or the demons surrounding the library (my first thought was "this smells like a Halloween Disney movie"), all those things felt a bit like if someone was writing something with not really idea of how the world work.

Finally, all this lead us to "the coffee theory" which is possible and if Metatron was writing the world we saw taking references from other things that already existed, would explain why that feeling of "fanfic" and... AND why he walked into the human world to interact with Aziraphale, the humans and the world instead of appear only as a gigantic head in the middle of the book shop. He needed to be there or at least he wanted to be there and was confident enough about his plan to go down to earth.

Angels were all about bureaucracy, they only showed their faces on earth if there is something important to do or say, but in season 1 Metatron didn't go down or interact, except when Aziraphale called him. And I think that plus the mega-powerful miracle that Aziraphale+Crowley casted over Jim/Gabriel, those two things were the reasons why Metatron decided that he needed Aziraphale by his side. (we can't forget this is a you are on my side or you are against me, kind of situation) And Metatron did something to Aziraphale which lead to the divorce kiss scene and our broken hearts.

That's all I have.

Thanks for reading.

And please, feel free to add or correct me if I'm wrong about something.

#good omens theory #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 #innefable husbands #innefable bureaucracy #metatron #thecoffetheory #this is my copping mechanism to deal with my broken heart

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happy-lemon · 6 months

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SPOILER ALERT ⬇

It was not a love match. I tried making Hugh and Miranda best friends and true loves. I moved her in with him. She keeps calling Eliana for dating advice and he's busking at the Spice Festival, even though he lives in the waterfront house in San Myshuno and works as an investment banker. Hugh is clean and sober, but he's still a mess. (It might be Eliana's fault. IDK.)

#ts4 #sims 4 #hugh rich #sims 4 storytelling

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hakasims · 2 years

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The Ultimate And Entirely Correct Ranking Of Every Single Luca Marinelli Movie Love Interest

This post is exactly what it says in the title: I take every single movie Luca has ever been in, extract every single love interest of his and rank them all from worst to best both as characters and as love interests to those specific Lucas. The ranking is 100% biased. Of course, I’ll do my best to rationalize the placement of this or that character, but sometimes I just hate a bitch and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Also: Feel free to call me out on my blatant misogyny, since it’s pretty obvious that I actually genuinely hate women instead of bad writing, incompetent directing, underwhelming acting or just plain offensive character work.

Ok, let’s go. Obviously, spoiler alert for Luca’s entire filmography.

22. Antonia (Tutti i santi giorni)

This. This is a bitch I hate. She may or may not be the sole reason I’ve even decided to make this list. I hate her so much it made me hate her actress as a person, even though I have no idea what she’s like. The fact that this movie feels like her vanity project with this character as her self-insert doesn’t help, of course.

Why is Antonia the worst? Because she is aimless, entitled, bratty, whiny, envious, controlling, abusive, self-centered, self-pitying - and she never changes. She has no character arc to speak of, she never apologizes or redeems herself for all the shit she pulls (i.e. kidnapping a pregnant woman’s child and cheating on her boyfriend for the sole purpose of hurting him, even though she was already planning on leaving him anyway) and she gets a happy ending she doesn’t deserve. People might say she is traumatized by her past domestic abuse and miscarriage, but this is bullshit because: A) her ex-boyfriend beating her in the past is never treated seriously by the narrative, nor is the abuser himself portrayed as a monster (he’s more of a goofy dumbass, classy); B) usually when a character does something cruel because of their trauma, it happens in the first half of the movie, giving them a chance to work through their shit and move on a better person, whereas Antonia does it fifteen minutes before the end of the movie, and there is zero work involved. She doesn’t even get Guido’s forgiveness because he’s never mad at her in the first place. She hurts him and he begs her to come back. The movie literally tells us she doesn’t have to become a better person, nor does she need to overcome her trauma. She just needs to get married, i.e. something she specifically didn’t want to do at the start. I guess that’s what constitutes for an arc around here. Fuck Antonia and fuck the people who defend her.

Ok, now that I’ve lost half of you, let’s continue with less controversial takes.

21. Claudia (Lasciati andare)

This one is easy. Ettore robs a jewelry store and goes to prison for that, with the jewelry still hidden. Claudia steals the booty from him, fucking KEEPS IT and lets him go back to prison for that! What a bitch! Not to mention she’s insanely annoying. The only character worse than her in that movie is the curmudgeonly main character. This film is unberable, you guys.

20. Antonella (Slam - Tutto per una ragazza)

She isn’t so much Valerio’s love interest as she is his ex, but this is my arbitrary list, and I find this bitch annoying enough to want to mention her. She’s a Cool Mom and she’s dumb as a rock. I hate everything she says, does and stands for. Literally zero redeeming qualities.

19. Elena Orsini (Martin Eden)

I find her so annoying I actually made a Martin Eden/Legally Blonde gifset with her as Warner. She is snobbish because she’s rich and educated but she has no idea how useless and pointless she is as a person. She is literally a tiny piece of nothing. Fuck her smug little face and fuck Martin for being dumb enough to build his entire life around wanting to please her.

18. Nina (Nina)

She is sinfully bland and boring and her wardrobe is that of a child.

17. Edward Pilaster (Die Pfeiler der Macht)

Mickey Miranda is a world class slut and he wasn’t happy at all with having to fuck this guy, which is saying a lot. Edward is needy, pathetic, talentless, worthless, and he has the audacity to be entitled because he’s rich. He didn’t deserve to be manipulated and used the way he was, but he’s no sugar plum, ok?

16. Augusta Pilaster (Die Pfeiler der Macht)

The mother of the aforementioned, she’s quite bad, though in completely different ways than her son. She’s cruel and scheming, and people have died because of her, but I give her points for girlbossiness her son doesn’t possess.

15. Alice Della Rocca (La solitudine dei numeri primi)

She didn’t really do anything wrong. She just annoyed the shit out of me.

14. Vittorio (Non essere cattivo)

Let’s not argue whether he counts as a love interest. He does, moving on. I just want to make things perfectly clear: I don’t hate Vittorio because he stopped using and left his best friend behind. Drug addiction is complicated, and helping addicts who don’t want to be helped is basically impossible. No, the reason I hate Vittorio is his treatment of the women in his life. He is a total dick to Viviana, having no issues insulting and humiliating her in front of other people. At the same time, he becomes a limp, spineless slug as soon as Linda waves her sandy vag in front of his dumb face, and then he basically spends the rest of the movie being her little bitch. Fuck Vittorio, for real. (Fuck Linda too, btw, if she qualified for this list she’d be right there with Antonia.)

13. Mia (Il padre d’Italia)

Part of me agrees that nobody asked Paolo to play a white night to some random pregnant lady he doesn’t know, but the fact that Mia is so dismissive and ungrateful is annoying. Not to mention it’s kinda uncool to drink, smoke and take drugs while you’re pregnant. Mia is trashy, but she isn’t as bad or as annoying as the people before her.

12. Fulvia (Una questione privata)

That “got nothing in my brain” Taylor Swift meme is about her. Also she called Milton ugly.

11. Florence Stalworthy-Pilaster (Die Pfeiler der Macht)

She is Edward’s young wife and a sweet, naive girl who became a pawn in Augusta and Mickey’s scheme. She didn’t do anything wrong and she didn’t deserve any of this shit.

10. Eva Kant (Diabolik)

Seeing how much I hated this movie, I’m very surprised Eva is so high on the list. I attribute this to her basically carrying this whole so-called plot on her shoulders and actually doing stuff.

9. Enrica “Puny” Rignon (Fabrizio de André - Principe libero)

She’s positioned as the worse of Fabrizio’s two wives but really, what did she do wrong? Knew her worth and hated being cheated on? Honestly, Puny is perfect. It’s not her fault she wasn’t her slutty husband’s One True Love.

8. Lei (Ricordi?)

She’s sweet and cute and perfect and she’s played by Linda Caridi. What more do you need?

7. Mario (Il padre d’Italia)

Who else is enough of a saint to continue being a shoulder to cry on for their ex? The same person who is ready to sacrifice a lot of time and money to travel across the country to fetch that same ex and bring him back home after he got his heart broken, that’s who.

6. Margherita (Martin Eden)

Take Mario’s saintliness and apply it to a love interest of a character who is way more of a pill than Paolo. Margherita deserves to have streets and bridges named after her.

5. Viviana (Non essere cattivo)

There’s literally nothing wrong with Viviana. She’s wonderful: loving, supportive, caring, and resourceful. She deserved the world.

4. Maria (Maria di Nazaret)

She’s THE Mary, Mother of Jesus, but her biggest achievement is not murdering her useless piece of shit husband. She deserved Oscar Isaac but instead she got one of the worst-written Luca characters in history.

3. Dori Ghezzi (Fabrizio de André - Principe libero)

As the actual One True Love of the main character, she gets to be quite high on the list, not to mention her patience, loyalty, bravery and literally her perfection.

2. Joe aka Yusuf Al-Kaysani (The Old Guard)

Whaat?! Joe isn’t number one?! But he’s literally perfect! Yes, I know. I told you I was biased.

1. Leonardo (Trust)

It’s not a movie, and Leonardo isn’t Primo’s real, canonical love interest? I don’t give a shit. He’s smart, resourceful, level-headed, loyal, and Primo totally wants to bang him. This is my list, and Leo is number one.

Do you disagree with my ranking? Please make your own list and send me the link or share your opinion in the notes. Don’t forget to like and subscribe!

#luca marinelli #and his movies #and his love interests

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