4S PROM1S3D, YOU 4LL G3T TO B34R W1TN3SS TO 4 COUPL3 LOV3Y DOV3Y DORKS TH1S HOL1D4Y >:P
1T W4S K4RK4TS 1D34 THOUGH SO DON'T ST4RT TH1NK1NG 1'M 4LL MUSHY! LYR1CS BY TH3 OUTS4ND1NG candyGroove 4ND greyscaleAngel 4ND COV3R 4RT BY M3!
This Perigee
"This Christmas" by Donny Hathaway
[TEREZI]
As off'rings hang above
[KARKAT]
I'm gonna get to know you better
[BOTH]
This moon phase
[KARKAT]
Your grin tempts me to flee
[TEREZI]
See how fun it all will be
[BOTH]
Together
This moon phase
[KARKAT]
All the stars are blazing bright,
[TEREZI]
I'll be cackling through the night!
This Perigee will be
One unlike any other, you'll see!
But uh… I won't.
[KARKAT]
…
[TEREZI]
Oh come on, that was funny!
[KARKAT]
Secret Sufferer’s here
[TEREZI]
My world is filled with cheer and you
[KARKAT]
This moon phase
And as I peek around,
Your smile outshines the others’, it’s true
[TEREZI]
Awwe!
[BOTH]
This moon phase
[KARKAT]
All the stars are blazing bright
[TEREZI]
Oo, someone's wrathful tonight, yet
This Perigee will be
Quite a special Perigee for me, yeah
Cherrypie, take my hand, now
[KARKAT]
You know I really do care about you, right Pyrope?
[TEREZI]
Wow, Karkat! Are you crying or do your eyes just smell really good in this lighting?
[KARKAT]
Oh, fuck off, I take it back. I don’t know how I always forget how deranged you are.
[TEREZI]
I don’t know how you forget either!
[KARKAT]
Emm, all the stars are blazing bright
You've been shameful tonight, yet
[TEREZI]
Showoff!!
[BOTH]
This Perigee will be
Quite a special Perigee for me, yeah
[TEREZI]
Gog, you are a showoff!
Wishing you bliss
Okay okay. Take this one
[KARKAT]
Take my hand, take my hand now
[TEREZI]
That was nice…
Wish your dear friend pure happiness
But I'm taking the rest of the song!
Still, with you, I'm glad
Yeah
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Terezi Pyrope, Dave Strider
Act 5, page 2742
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]
GC: H3Y D4V3
GC: B1G N3WS
TG: hey
TG: have i made enough money yet
GC: OF COURS3 YOU H4V3
GC: MOR3 TH4N W3 COULD 3V3R POSS1BLY F1GUR3 OUT WH4T TO DO W1TH
GC: BUT TH4T 1S NOT TH3 B1G N3WS! >:]
TG: ok
GC: 1 M4D3 YOU 4NOTH3R COM1C
TG: fuck
TG: bout time
TG: what took so long
GC: 1 R3S3NT TH3 1MPL1C4T1ON D4V3
GC: TH4T 1 4M NOT WORK1NG T1R3L3SSLY ON YOUR B3H4LF 4S W3LL 4S ON B3H4LF OF TH3 F1N3 4RTS
GC: JUST B3C4US3 YOU GO FOR HOURS W1THOUT H34R1NG FROM M3
GC: DO3SNT M34N 1 4M NOT SL4V1NG 4W4Y H3R3 4T M4K1NG YOU R1CH
GC: F1N4NC14LLY 4ND 4RT1ST1C4LLY
GC: 1TS JUST 1 DONT H4V3 TH3 LUXURY OF YOUR 3XP4ND3D T1M3FR4M3
GC: M1ST3R THR33 D4YS 1N ON3 >:[
TG: k cool lets see it
GC: 1S TH3R3 4NYTH1NG TH4T 4 HUM4N COOLK1D C4NNOT DO???
GC: http://tinyurl.com/T34CHM3D4V3
GC: 1 DOUBT 1T! >8D
TG: damn
TG: thats incredible
GC: TH3 PH3NOM3NON OF TH3 COOLK1D 1S 4 F4SC1N4T1NG ON3 D4V3
GC: 1 H4V3 STUD13D 1T
GC: D1D YOU KNOW TH4T W3 DO NOT H4V3 COOLK1DS ON 4LT3RN14?
TG: oh shit really
TG: that loud sound of shock you just smelled was my jaw hitting the floor
GC: 1TS TRU3
GC: SOM3 TRY TO B3 1 TH1NK, W1THOUT 3V3N B31NG 4W4R3 OF TH3 T3MPL4T3 TH3Y 4R3 STR1V1NG FOR
GC: 1T 1S 4 S4D SP3CT4CL3
GC: BUT 1 TH1NK YOU 4R3 PROB4BLY TH3 COOL3ST COOLK1D D4V3
GC: 4LL TH3S3 OTH3R HORNS3S 4SS3S SURF1NG ON K3YBO4RDS 4ND PUTT1NG H4TS ON TURNW4YS 4R3 4 BUNCH OF STUT1D NUMPNUTS
GC: TH3Y H4V3 NOTH1NG ON TH3 ON3 TRU3 STR1D3R
TG: yeah i mean
TG: i cant possibly argue with any of that
TG: so are we done making money yet or what
GC: OH 1 DONT KNOW
GC: T3CHN1C4LLY W3 W3R3 4 LONG T1M3 4GO
TG: yeah i kinda figured
GC: BUT 1TS 4 FUN W4Y TO STR3TCH OUT TH3 T1M3 YOUV3 GOT L3FT, 1SNT 1T?
GC: >:]
TG: im not complaining
TG: but you said there was something specific we were working toward here
TG: i mean aside from buying up all the nastiest fraymotifs
GC: Y3S BOTH 4R3 TRU3
GC: 4ND TH3R3 4R3 SOM3 YOU H4V3NT BOUGHT Y3T!
GC: TH4T 1S 1MPORT4NT, W3 N33D TO K33P YOU COMP3T1T1V3 W1TH JOHN
TG: competitive
TG: man
TG: dont matter what i do im not gonna outpace egbert
GC: DONT S4Y TH4T! YOUV3 GOT TO B3L13V3 1N YOURS3LF D4V3
TG: hey its not like the futures a mystery or anything weve both seen it
TG: well
TG: ive seen it
TG: youve just caught a whiff of it
TG: like a hungry beggar loitering cross the street of an olive garden
TG: just cause a filthy vagrants barred from entry dont mean a dude doesnt know italian foods nearby its a fucking fact to his nose
GC: DO NOT D1STR4CT FROM TH3 1SSU3 W1TH YOUR S4SSY R3M4RKS 4BOUT 34RTH 1T4L14N FOOD
GC: Y34H OK, JOHN M4Y S3RV3 YOU YOUR OWN BULG3 ON 4 S1LV3R TURN T4BL3 PR3 SCR4TCH
GC: BUT WH4T 4BOUT 4FT3R TH4T?
GC: W3 N33D YOU TO K33P P4C3
GC: 1T 1S TH3 CL4SS1C STRUGGL3, TH3 HUM4N 34RTH COOLK1D V3RSUS TH3 34RTH HUM4N N3RD
GC: WHO W1LL W1N??????? >:O
GC: (D4V3 D4V3 D4V3)
TG: yeah fine
TG: so whats the other thing we were accomplishing here
TG: does that get to be not an obnoxious secret yet
GC: Y3S, NOW 1S TH3 T1M3
GC: YOU MUST W1R3 YOUR BOONDOLL4RS TO MY 4CCOUNT
TG: ok so this was your game
TG: to get rich off me
GC: Y3SSSSSSSSSSSS >8]
GC: BUT S3R1OUSLY 1TS 1MPORT4NT!
GC: 1T 1S CR1T1C4L TO 4LL OUR PL4NS
TG: alright well its not like i even have a problem parting with this useless bullshit money
TG: how much do you need
GC: 413 BOONBONDS
TG: thats all
TG: i can afford to give you a fuckload more than that
TG: how bout i give you an even boonbank
GC: NO!!!
GC: 1T MUST B3 3X4CTLY TH4T 4MOUNT
TG: ok just to be clear
TG: thats 413
TG: not "aie"
GC: Y34H
GC: J3RK >:P
TG: whats up with that number
TG: ive seen it around
GC: TH3Y 4R3 TH3 NUM3R4LS OF TH3 BL1ND PROPH3TS
TG: whats that mean
GC: 1 DONT KNOW >:?
TG: ok awesome
GC: 4LSO
GC: 4T TH3 3X4CT 3ND OF TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON
GC: YOU MUST W1R3 TH3 MON3Y TO MY 4CCOUNT 3X4CTLY 6 HOURS 4ND 12 M1NUT3S 1NTO TH3 P4ST
GC: MY P4ST! R3L4T1V3 TO MY PR3S3NT MOM3NT 4S OF TYP1NG TH1S
TG: you mean i can do that
TG: then
TG: why werent we just wiring money into the past for these investment escapades instead of doing all this time traveling
GC: B3C4US3!
GC: TH4T W4SNT TH3 PL4N
GC: W3 H4D TO PL4Y 4LONG W1TH TH3 ST4BL3 T1M3 LOOPS W3 W3R3 PR3S3NT3D W1TH
GC: YOU KNOW, M4K3 SUR3 4LL THOS3 D4V3S RUNN1NG 4ROUND 3X1ST3D 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3
TG: oh yeah
TG: i knew that its just frustrating sometimes its like paradox space makes you do everything the hard way
GC: Y34H T3LL M3 4BOUT 1T
GC: BUT H3Y 1TS B33N FUN PL4Y1NG 4LONG, H4SNT 1T?
TG: sure
GC: W3V3 GOT TO K33P B31NG D3L1C4T3 W1TH T1M3
GC: 1F YOU ST4RT B3ND1NG TH3 RUL3S 4ND T4K1NG SHORTCUTS
GC: TH4TS WH3N D34D D4V3S ST4RT P1L1NG UP
GC: D34D D4V3S 4R3 TH3 3N3MY!
GC: 4S D3L1GHTFUL 4S 1T 1S TO SM3LL TH31R SW33T C4NDY BLOOD 3V3RYWH3R3
TG: yeah
TG: reminds me
TG: i made you a comic a while ago
GC: YOU D1D???
TG: yeah here
GC: >:o
GC: D4V3...
GC: TH1S COM1C 1S BORD3RL1N3 PORNOGR4PH1C
GC: YOU 4R3 4 R34LLY FUCK3D UP K1D
TG: yeah ok whatever you say
TG: fuckin aliens
GC: (1T 1S F4NT4ST1C, 1 LOV3 1T)
TG: ok cool
TG: hey boonbonds incoming now
TG: brace yourself six hours ago
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h3y guys wh4t would ! do !f (hypoth3t!c4lly) ! follow3d 4 w!k!how 4rt!cl3 on how to b3com3 4 c4tboy b!olog!c4lly 4s 4 jok3 but th3n !t work3d, 4nd 4lso, d!dnt g!v3 m3 3xclus!v3ly th3 v!su4l 4sp3cts of th3 c4t, but th3 t3nd3nc!3s, !nst!ncts, 4nd cr4v!ngs, of on3 too? Hypoth3t!c4lly, of cours3. 4nd 3v3n !f !t w3r3nt th3n my fr!3nd wouldv3 b33n th3 on3 follow!ng th3 4rt!cl3, so ! would b3 4sk!ng for 4 fr!3nd
(Translation) hey guys what would i do if (hypothetically) i followed a wikihow article on how to become a catboy biologically as a joke but then it worked, and also, didnt give me exclusively the visual aspects of the cat, but the tendencies, instincts, and cravings, of one too? Hypothetically, of course. and even if it werent then my friend wouldve been the one following the article, so i would be asking for a friend
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