❝ i belong to you. only ever you. ❞ ( mammon )
@xamassed
A mixture of possessiveness and greed, jealousy may tingle on the tip of his tongue when others would show her attention or affection. They weren’t the people she wanted such attention from. Still, she nevertheless had to bask in it to continue to follow this lifestyle: the luxury, the connections, the perfect acting, the alluring and charismatic style. It was her forte, it was her weapon, it was her [role]. Though, there was no need to worry. They were tools; they were tools for the future and for safety. Fame, likeability, connections, their eyes on her, the center of attention, and the spot under the Devildom’s ‘Sun’ — all were a means to an end. Her golden gaze will always seek out only one person in the midst of those who look at her in awe, and she yearns for only one presence so strongly that it’s obvious in the way her eyes would gleam with stars in them when she would finally spot him.
Mammon wasn’t… someone she ever expected even to allow close to herself. Their initial meeting consisted of distrust, annoyance, and words of authority that rubbed her the wrong way. At first, he was callous and rude. Aside from his voice and appearance, there was nothing to like about him. Then, time passed, and she finally learned how he worked; each tick of his was studied carefully and written down as she kept an eye on each of the brothers. Then more time passed, and she could see the truth in his actions: he wasn’t that bad. He was loud, yes. He was a thief, yes. He could have made better life choices, yes. However, he never made her feel unsafe. The shenanigans they always got into were positively ridiculous, sometimes dangerous, but nothing that led to an actual mortal injury (thankfully). His behaviors became obvious, easy to read for her—he was the Avatar of Greed, after all.
So when did she find herself falling for him? Perhaps, it was when she first smiled and laughed at his antics without hiding. Perhaps, it was when he learned of her backstory and still treated her the same. Perhaps, when she understood that she didn’t need to pretend in front of him. Perhaps, when he didn’t turn away when he learned that she was acting in the beginning. Perhaps… It was when he called her name in that excited tone as he waved for her to follow him. It was hard to say.
Not to say… The Avatar of Greed was not the most honest regarding his feelings in verbal form. Even if she understood without needing to look at him, his words just now struck her a bit too hard. The sincerity, the way he looked at her, the way he said her name. Sokolova couldn’t look away. There was no need to hide away her surprise either. Mammon wasn’t insincere per se, but sometimes Leviathan would say that dragging any honest feelings out of Mammon was like pulling teeth. She would agree with that, but only verbally. He made her feel loved even with his antics and his way of speaking. Her brain had already translated everything he had said in her mind all too quickly. But this? Why did it surprise her so much? Why was she surprised to hear him say that?
Because you’re not a pure human? No, you never showed yourself as such; you never pretended to be pure, even when you played a role. Neither do you think you don’t deserve him. You are well aware of who you are and what you’ve done. And yet, why are you still looking at him with such an unguarded and vulnerable surprise?
For the first time in her life, Zarina looked like a simple maiden in love who heard her crush admit their feelings to her for the first time. They’ve been past those days. They’ve been too far away from those moments where confessions like that would be considered innocent. They were far too gone, but there was something different about how Mammon said these words. Did he not know? Everything she was - belonged to him as well? Or did he want to return the favor? Honestly, the reason didn’t matter. To Zarina, everything about him mattered regardless of the reason.
Did he notice how brightly her eyes shined when he said it out loud? Did he notice how her breath hitched for a second? Did he hear the way her heart suddenly started to beat faster? Did he notice the way her soul would become warmer and gentler?
It was all because of him. A demon seemed to purify her soul more than an angel ever would. He melted the ice, he made her smile, and he stayed. And he never looked away. She knew that if everyone looked away, he wouldn’t. It brought comfort to her. Even if she was an actor, a woman who used others for her gain and who was colder than winter’s night - she hoped he knew for him she’d be warm, she’d be tender, she’d be gentle. The moment he said he loved her too, she pledged her everything to him.
“I…”
He never needed to doubt that she belonged to him.
“I know.”
He never needed to doubt that her eyes would be searching for anyone else.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am a selfish, greedy woman. You know that. There is no way I would settle for anything less…”
He never needed to concern himself that this smile would belong to anyone else.
“...Because everything that I am belongs to you just as much, Mammon.”
After all, her golden gaze will never become so gentle and tender for anyone else.
He was hers and she was his.
“My love for you is not… merely pure and innocent,” she steps closer to him, reaching out to take his hand into her own. Her smile is sweet and gentle. So unlike anything others had witnessed before. This love was only his and her heart, soul, and body belonged to him. No matter what pacts had been done, he was her first, and he’ll be the only one in her heart. “I am possessive, I am just as greedy. I am not pure, I am not innocent, I lack shame,” she knows that he’s aware of her less savory traits; some said they were more demonic than human. After all, she does enjoy his possessiveness and his protectiveness over her, but deep down, she wishes for him to fall deeper with her. It’s dark, but her passion is only for him. He doesn’t need to be nervous about showing his more demonic side: she loves him, no matter the form. “In the Human World, I am a liar. I play with people like cards: I discard and use them. But… As long as you have me, as long as you love me, I am yours, and I will never let you go.” He has to take responsibility for making her fall in love. She’s never loved anyone before. It is genuine, it is strong, it is powerful. Her words are true, and her eyes speak a tale of a love that’ll turn the three worlds upside down.
“I love you, Mammon. You’re not just my ‘first,’ you are my ‘only’ one. These eyes of gold always search for you in the crowds, don’t forget that. No… I’ll never let you forget about that.”
For those she loves, a woman of iron and ice would become tender, loving, and caring. A whiplash of who had arrived in Devildom. Her own sincerity tasted like gold honey. It’s always gold with them, isn’t it? Golden eyes, golden coins, golden honey, golden love. They loved tenderly and passionately. They loved without regret, greed intensifying the wish to be together.
"Can you... say that you love me, too? You're rarely this honest in words."
After all, he’s not the only one who’s greedy for attention, for love—
Yes, it’s always golden with them. A golden time.
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