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ozzgin · 5 months

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Yandere! Yokai Harem Headcanons

Meet your (6) monster boyfriends!

Since the story will take a while to unfold, I decided to speed things up and properly introduce you to the characters. A little time skip to Reader becoming an onmyōji herself and renewing the bonds with the yokai men, this time at their request. They cannot bear the thought of separating from their darling and since she has reneged her life as a regular human being, someone has to keep her company. And so the days are spent exorcising evil spirits both in modern and feudal Japan, with a pack of demons following close behind.

[Main story] [Character Guide]

Content: female reader, monster smut, NSFW, obsessive behavior, reader is a monster hoe again but feigns mild reluctance

Kiritsubo

Kiritsubo is your very first yokai encounter and he almost immediately falls for you. He's always been at the receiving end of his master's wrath for not being able to use his powers, so much that even after Nakamaro’s ‘death’ he couldn’t sleep without being plagued by horrid nightmares. His back is covered in thick scars from the frequent punishments. You first begun to suspect his background when you jumped in to protect him from an incoming blow and he froze in terror, unable to look up and awaiting the anticipated discipline.

Needles to say that when he learns you're not like the previous onmyōji he becomes extremely clingy and needy. He can only rest if you're next to him and will often hug you for reassurance. You've shared a bed before there was any hint of romance, simply because he found your presence so soothing. That's not to say he relies on you for everything. In fact, he unlocks his nearly unmatched abilities purely out of his desire to protect you. He’s found his purpose in serving you, someone who showed him kindness when he needed it most.

As you go out into the world, he begins to question his exact feelings for you. An example of his intense musings: he's asked you, perplexed, whether he can kiss you like the people he's seen on the street. He's spent his entire life being trained by Abe no Nakamaro, so he struggles to understand how relationships work. He will be utterly oblivious to other people flirting with him (it happens every now and then, he is a handsome demon after all), but simultaneously worry that everyone is out to have you. He’s already very salty about the other yokai joining your side and will frequently remind them he was the first to accept you.

When you complete your transition as an onmyōji, the priestess warns you that you may no longer partake in any kind of bonding with your fellow humans. Kiritsubo, seated next to you, responds almost instantly with eyes sparkling in excitement: "Well, that doesn’t extend to yokai, does it? I can still make you my wife.”

Kiritsubo is very clumsy when being intimate with you for the first time, but it doesn’t take long for him to become rather addicted to the feeling. You often have to scold him to behave and in return he’ll be pouting and fidgeting until you finally give in to his pleading gaze. He’s very vocal and touchy and will leave you covered in scratches from all the pulling. Towards the end he’s a drooling mess, mumbling about how much he loves you and begging you to never, ever leave him.

Murasaki

Murasaki is very cold and sarcastic on the surface, but you soon realize he is the most caring and responsible of the group, always looking out for everyone and trying to keep them out of trouble. In fewer words, he's almost like a tsundere mother hen (he won't hesitate to put you in a headlock if you mention it, though). He goes along with your wishes and will politely listen to anything you tell him, but to others he remains stoic and even rude. You’re sometimes reminded of the preferential treatment when witnessing his aggressive way of dealing with his suitors, shooing them away with the utmost disgusted scowl.

“Huh? Why can’t I be nicer to others? Bold of you to assume my tolerance is not, in fact, a limited resource spent entirely on dealing with you.”

He's been your guardian from the day you met him. He taught you how to use a sword and how to properly cast spells and seems to have a solution for all your troubles. When you introduced the yokai to the modern world you assumed he'd struggle to adapt, but he was extremely quick to learn and is, to this day, accumulating knowledge at a dizzying pace. One wouldn't be able to tell him apart from a regular city dweller. Murasaki is the concrete definition of a jack of all trades, excelling in whatever he sets his mind on.

Given his status and skills, the other yokai have always been rather jealous of him, including Kiritsubo. Ironically enough, by the time Murasaki accepted his infatuation towards you, you'd already gotten close to Kiritsubo. Which resulted in a lot of unexplained jealous bouts from a yokai too prideful to admit he loves you just as much. (You eventually get him to confess and reach the agreement to distribute the wealth among workers.)

He will occasionally be in a good enough mood to share with Kiritsubo, but it frequently results in a bizarre competition between them as you awkwardly squirm underneath, overstimulated. More often he prefers to pull you aside after you've done the deed with another yokai and aggressively fuck you as a way to assert his dominance. "Oh, was he that good? Then why are you moaning much louder now?" He'll demand with a firm grasp around your throat. Sadly his extreme competitiveness extends to this area as well.

Suma

Among the yokai, Suma is the most easygoing one despite his intimidating appearance. Most evenings he’ll have a drink in hand, eager to chitchat and ramble by the campfire, with his relaxed laughter resounding across the place. He is very loud and blunt and will often need to be reminded of the colossal power imbalance between him and regular humans and demons. Although after accidentally dislocating your shoulder (he was terribly amused by your joke and gave you a friendly pat), he’s gotten much better at adjusting the amount of force he uses, especially with you.

You’ve only witnessed him serious on two occasions: first one is a recurring event, when he’s training alone. When you’re together, he’s always in a merry mood, letting you try out moves and spells on him and frequently praising you even after failures. His whole demeanor changes when he’s by himself, swinging the spear with a calculated, focused gaze that remains unperturbed until the end of his session. The second case is when you get hurt. Now, he does encourage you to fight, and your confidence in battle is what caused him to fall head over heels in love with you. He will immediately put a stop to it, however, if the opponent ends up harming you. Seeing your lips curl in pain is enough to set him off and send him into a full blown rage.

Suma is destructive in all the ways you can think of. Given his massive size, as much as he’d love to, having his way with you is not something that can happen spontaneously. Borrowing his powers can of course help your frail body to not immediately tear apart, but depending on how much self control he has (or lack of), you might end up needing urgent healing from Sakaki. Suma will be extremely apologetic for nearly fucking you to death, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it. A more common approach is riding his hand, as one or two fingers are enough to make you dizzy. He’ll be satisfied just hearing your needy whimpers. He also adores watching you whenever you give him handjobs as your little, delicate hands struggle to hold onto him. You’re insignificant compared to him and yet you persevere, feisty and horny. His precious, tiny warrior.

Yuugiri

Yuugiri is by nature a manipulative, masterful liar, so it comes as no surprise that you had a hard time trusting him in the beginning. His habit of teasing you certainly didn’t help, as you could never tell whether he’s serious about something or not. Perhaps the greatest irony is that even when he tries to be honest, it comes out crooked. Such is the fate of a deceiving demon, although most people are only familiar with fox spirits. On his end, he loves that you’re so transparent and obvious, even occasionally naive. And so it took a lot of awkward pleading to convince you to renew a binding contract with him, given everyone was suspecting him of ulterior motives.

For Yuugiri, being part of such contract is the most vulnerable offering he could've given you as proof of his love. As your souls become connected, you can perceive his feelings in ways otherwise impossible to achieve. He willingly allowed you to be able to read his heart, and thankfully it worked. It was his last, desperate resort to get you to understand his affections. Do you finally see the earnest adoration he harbors for you?

He is the best choice if you're looking for a best friend to gossip with. He enjoys listening to your stories and pays great attention to every detail. He's also frighteningly vengeful, especially when it involves you. So if you ever complain about someone to him, know that he will remember it forever and will make sure to continuously get back at the offender in the worst possible ways and will only stop when you tell him to.

Now listen, I’m about to be quite crass but it is what it is: as a serpent demon he has a long, forked tongue and let’s just say everyone in the household can tell if he’s eating you out because it will be loud. It will be followed by the walk of shame, when you eventually have to come out of the room red-faced and sore-legged, with Yuugiri donning a devilish grin for the rest of the day. You always swear to keep it in next time, but within moments you’re tightly gripping onto his horns, mumbling his name in a feverish, drunken haze. Naturally, he can read you like an open book and this truth stands for more intimate matters as well. Leave it to Yuugiri to know what his darling likes best.

Sekiya

Sekiya has been fascinated with you from the moment you stepped into the ancient Tomb. To see the anxious, quiet Kiritsubo happily wag his tail after you and the stern, irritable Murasaki readily at your service…It was a sight most unfamiliar to him and he wondered how a mere human like you managed to whip them into this kind of submission. He refused to believe you’d be stronger than Abe no Nakamaro himself, yet after the battle - from which you emerged victorious - it suddenly occurred to him that it wasn’t fear or obedience coming from the two yokai companions. Just honest, unadulterated love. He felt his chest tighten with envy, all the resentment of being sealed in with an evil, hateful sorcerer finally erupting its way to the surface.

So when you offered him and Sakaki to join you (“What else is left to do among these ruins?”), he couldn’t agree fast enough. To think he, too, could be spoiled with the affections of someone like you. On the other hand, Sekiya is an insecure, nervous wreck of an overthinker and he felt like he couldn’t offer anything worthy in return. He’s a demon that casts barriers. Nothing more, nothing less. He doesn’t have Murasaki’s genius, or Kiritsubo’s raw power, or Suma’s brute strength…What use could you possibly find in him? Hence the constant need for reassurance. He will need you to pull him out of his melancholy every now and then, just a small nudge from the savior he so worships.

It’s an extremely rare occurrence, but Sekiya can get cheeky if his ego is stroked properly. So, for example, he’ll take advantage of the fact you’re both alone in the modern world and show you the handy usage of his barriers: a crowded intersection overflowing with people, and yet no one can see him greedily thrusting into you right in the middle of everything. It’s the high of sprawling you out in public without actually being seen. It’s also one of the reasons you no longer take him furniture shopping. Last time you asked him to help you pick a new table from Ikea and were confused by his requirement of it being “high enough”. Before you could ask for further explanations, the immediate vicinity started twirling into a blur and his heavy arm bent you over the surface. “Let me demonstrate”, he purred in your ear. Sure, no one saw you dripping with his cum, nonetheless scanning the items with your clenched legs and deep crimson face was humiliating enough.

Sakaki

Despite his gift to heal and revive, Sakaki is a terribly miserable demon, often plagued by gloom and death. He is especially receptive to negative emotions, and given your souls are connected, he is the first to detect any change in your mood. (You had to learn to block out the persistent throb of jealousy that tugs at your heart whenever the yokai is particularly insecure.) He takes great pride in the fact that he can understand your sadness better than anyone. The second you feel down, he’ll be right behind you: “Worry not, we shall suffer together. Such is the fate of lovers.”

The first time he joined you back into the modern world, you’ve perhaps mistakenly introduced him to classic literature you assumed he’d like. He indeed became infatuated with authors like Poe, Baudelaire, Rimbaud, Shelley, Hoffmann. For the first time in his long life, Sakaki felt understood, and you’re glad to have played a role in his new interest. Yet you can’t help the shivers running down your spine whenever you become the target of his overflowing, renewed inspiration. Grim, ghastly paintings, deplorably obsessive poems…You’ve unleashed an authentic Romantic poet whose only muse is you.

He’s a master of eerie awkwardness, more so now that he has access to modern entertainment. You were excited when he asked you out on a picnic date, only to discover you’ve been taken to a foggy graveyard. He enthusiastically explained his choice: you can scout burial plots in case one of you dies (he’ll die with you, no worries), it is a stunning reminder that his love for you is eternal, and you might even find potential names if you ever want children. Another time, when you rented a boat during a sunny day at the lake, he cheerfully wondered how you’d look if you were to drown (still as beautiful as ever, he’s certain). Ah, but he does not dwell on dark things only. He recently took you to see the famous Cirque du Soleil and he was equally mesmerized by all the light and colors. It was Corteo: the story of a funeral cortège for a clown.

Sakaki does not like sharing and prefers to hang out with you alone, without the other demons. In fact, he’ll spend the day holed up in his room, writing or painting, or go out on lone walks if he knows you’re messing around with someone. He’d rather not hear anything that would cause him turmoil. The only exception is Sekiya, as they spent decades in isolation together within the sealed Tomb, and they both share a similar lack of confidence. In this case he won’t mind laying you on him and offering the above position to his friend, or casually joining your fun if he sees you together with Sekiya.

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persevereforahappyending · 8 months

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This isn't Your Fault (Interrogation)

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader

Summary: Anika rolled her eyes. “You’d think for someone who was attacked you wouldn’t wear headphones,” she said.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3.1k+

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Your headphones rested on your head as you stared unblinking at your TV, your fingers moving automatically as you played your game. It was a little difficult and occasionally you winced at the pain in your hand from holding the controller but over the weeks you learned how to play your games without putting too much strain on your hand. It was incredibly difficult, and Tara had yelled at you the second you picked up the controller after being home for a day, but nothing was going to stand in the way of you and your games.

You had your sword out and just accidentally slashed a door instead of sliding it open, you sighed, you still always mixed up those two buttons. The next thing you knew your headphones were being ripped off your head, you instantly reached for the taser Sam had gifted you before turning to see who your assailant was.

“The fuck!” You screamed, lowering the taser slightly but your grip didn’t lessen. “Anika!”

Anika rolled her eyes. “You’d think for someone who was attacked you wouldn’t wear headphones,” she said.

“You’d think for someone who’s friend was just attacked you wouldn’t sneak up on them.” You finally sat the taser back down on the table next to you. “Or break into their house!”

“It’s not breaking in when I know the disarm code.”

“So, did Ghostface,” you mumbled, turning to go back to your game. You allowed your headphones to continue resting around your neck, but Anika didn’t deserve your full attention after almost giving you a heart attack.

You moved through the house, swinging your sword to slice through enemies when the TV went dark. The world froze, you couldn’t even hear yourself breathing. You slowly turned your head towards Anika, glaring at her as your grip on the controller tightened. Anika stood next to your gaming chair, arms crossed as she held the TV remote in one hand, looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

“You’re lucky you only turned off the TV,” you said, through gritted teeth, letting out a strained chuckle. “I’d hate to be down a best friend because your actions made me lose progress.”

“Please, as if you’d ever stop being my friend.”

“Stop being your friend?” You furrowed your brow. “I was talking about murder.”

“Ugh, really? Threatening murder over The Last of Us, which you’ve played half a dozen times.”

“This was Ghost of Tsushima!”

“Same difference,” Anika waved the mistake off.

Your eyes widened in offense as you quickly shot to your feet. “One is about feudal Japan and Samurai while the other is post-apocalyptic and has infected. They’re completely different!”

Anika held up her hands. “Whatever.”

“What are you doing here?”

Anika shoved your shoulder. “Sit down.” You fell back into your gaming chair with a small groan, sudden movements were still not great for the ribs. Anika bent down, bracing herself on the armrests as she leaned into your space. You pressed yourself as far into the chair as you could, your face still being only inches from Anika’s. Anika leaned in even more. “Tell me about you and Tara.”

You couldn’t help but break out into a laugh. The laughter quickly died down though when you noticed Anika still staring at you with her serious expression. “You’re joking.”

“I told you; you aren’t getting out of this.” Anika pushed off the armrests and began pacing back and forth in front of you. “Now, I was reasonable. I didn’t bother you the last few weeks.”

“I was recovering,” you mumbled.

“I even let you have the meeting Sam dinner. I didn’t hound you once!” Anika went on, ignoring you. “And finally!” she spun around to face you, a crazed look in her eye. “Your time of secret keeping has come to an end.” She moved forward, leaning close to you again. “Don’t think about lying, Tara is with Mindy and Sam, she’s getting the same treatment.”

“Are you kidding?”

Anika shook her head. “I didn’t have to convince either of them. They were happy to ask Tara to hangout today, with the sole intention of interrogating her.”

“What happened to privacy? I mean this is our relationship, we’re allowed to keep it between us.”

“Privacy went out the window when you decided to lie to me. Your best friend! You lied to me. Me!” You rolled your eyes at her antics. “Don’t roll your eyes at me.” You froze, looking up at Anika with wide eyes. “Look, you can either have this conversation with me or…” she smirked. Your eyes darted from her to anywhere around your room, you weren’t sure if you were supposed to know where she was going with this. “I can call your mom and tell her everything that happened.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” you said, narrowing your eyes at her as you leaned forward in the chair.

“Try me,” Anika bent down, bringing your noses inches from each other again.

In your peripheral vision you saw her whip out her phone. You glanced at her hand, seeing her shake the phone as her thumb hovered over your mom’s name. “Okay, fine!” you conceded, slumping back into your chair. “What do you want to know?”

“How did you two meet?” Anika asked, smiling at her victory.

“In class.”

“This would be easier if you just answered honestly.”

“We did!” You threw your hands in the air. “We have Film History together.”

“You know what I’m looking for. Now, answer correctly.”

You let out a huff, rolling your eyes at Anika’s ridiculousness, you were seriously questioning whether having a best friend was worth it. “It was the first day, we had to break into pairs and do ice breakers.” You smiled, remembering your first ever conversation with Tara. “We had to tell each other our favorite movies.” When you looked up you saw Anika smiling softly as you told the story. “We’d work together here and there and make casual conversation occasionally but for the first month or, so she was distant.” Anika gave a nod in understanding; you remember her telling you how Mindy was when they first started dating. “Then one day after class she cornered me and asked me out.”

“Aww,” Anika held a hand to her heart. “First date! First date!”

You laughed at your best friend’s excitement. “It was just a movie date. Tara wanted to see a new horror movie.”

Anika’s eyes went wide. “And you agreed.” You nodded; you still couldn’t believe you had agreed to it. “How did that go?”

“Uhh,” you dragged out for a long time. “I tried. I really did,” you assure Anika. You could see Anika holding back a smile, you really wanted to slap it off of her. “I ended up walking out and sitting on the floor. Tara found me and we went to a pizza place a couple blocks away. She paid and we talked all night.”

“How did you keep this from everyone?” Anika asked in disbelief. “I’ll admit, keeping it from me is easier but Mindy? Chad? Sam? How? I’m surprised Sam doesn’t have a tracker on Tara by this point. I’m pretty sure Sam would be tracking Tara’s phone, but I don’t think she knows how to do it…”

You laughed at the idea of that. You were definitely glad Sam wasn’t tracking Tara’s phone, you were sure you’d have been beaten to a pulp a long time ago if she had. Tara also probably would have found a tracking app or device on her phone, there was one time you two were out and Sam almost saw you guys and Tara thought Sam had been tracking her. Sam was just there to pick up dinner for the night and went on her way, but you spent the rest of the night watching Tara tear apart her phone searching for a tracking device, scrolling and opening every app to try and find something that didn’t belong.

“Well, we took advantage of the situation,” you explained, smiling as you remembered all the times you and Tara snuck around. “We had one class together, you and I only had one together, and Mindy and Tara didn’t really overlap somehow. So, whenever you guys were in class and our free time overlapped, we hung out.”

“So, while Mindy and I were slaving away in class you and Tara were making out,” Anika said, shaking her head in disappointment.

“I mean,” you shrugged. “Sometime. We also studied a lot. I helped her with anything audio related, and she helped me with film stuff.”

“I know the campus is big but how did none of us ever see you two?” She shook her head in disbelief, not being able to wrap her head around how four of you, save for Chad, all had similar majors and shared classes but none of them ever caught onto you and Tara.

You refused to meet Anika’s eyes, choosing to look anywhere else in your room. You slowly started to use your tiptoes to turn your chair, trying to get away from Anika’s gaze.

“Wait,” she shouted, gripping the armrest of your chair, and spinning you back around. “How many times did we almost catch you?”

“A lot,” you whispered, looking up at her through your lashes. Anika stood before you, mouth agape and wide eyed. You couldn’t help but laugh at her surprise. “Ow!” Anika smacked the side of your arm. “Why the injured arm?” You used your good hand to rub the spot she had slapped.

She rolled her eyes. “Your hand was crushed not your arm, you’re fine.”

“You’re mean,” you mumbled.

“Shut up,” she slapped you again. “Tell me more about how you’ve been lying to me for months.”

You gave her an unamused glare but didn’t argue, you didn’t see it as lying to her for months, you were just being private, there was nothing wrong with keeping your relationship just between you and Tara. “Well, we met at the library a lot,” you decided to keep humoring her, considering it might mean getting slapped less anyway. “There were a few times I’d be shoved under a desk or into another aisle when you and Mindy suddenly made an appearance.”

Her eyes went wide again. “Okay, ignoring that deception for a second, what about outside of school? I mean Tara was hardly ever alone.”

You sighed, remembering how difficult it was sneaking around with Tara, but it was always worth it in the end. The adrenaline rush at almost being caught a few times was also a lot of fun. “Whenever Sam worked late or had therapy we’d sneak out. Sometimes it was a quick date if we knew we had enough time, a lot of times Tara snuck over to my place late and got back before Sam would notice.”

“Did you ever sneak into the apartment?” Anika asked with a raised eyebrow. You bit your lip, dropping your eyes to the floor. Anika’s eyes went wide, and a large smile enveloped her entire face. “You have! How did you never get caught?”

“Well, Quinn was always occupied.” Anika nodded, remembering how even when she was home Quinn was almost always in her room with a guy. “With Sam it was difficult. I would sneak up the fire escape as soon as she left the building and hangout until we knew Sam would be home.”

“How often did she almost walk in on you?”

You let out a shaky breath, remembering the one-time Sam truly almost caught you, you had never been so scared, well you hadn’t been until you got attacked by Ghostface. “A few times,” you said, shaking your head. “Tara has shoved me in the closet.” Anika let out a giggle, clearing her throat when you glared at her. “She shoved me off the bed. There was one time I slipped out the window right before Sam opened the door.”

“You are so lucky to be alive.” Anika shook her head in disbelief. “One more question.” You groaned, flinging your head back against your chair. “It’s important!”

“What?”

“Have you and Tara,” she gave you a knowing nod, her eyebrows raised. “You know,” she wiggled her eyebrows.”

“Oh god!” you smacked her in the stomach. She flinched but broke out into a laugh. “That’s none of your business.”

“You have!” She smiled widely, clapping her hands as she bounced up and down on her feet. “Tell me everything!”

“No! That’s between me and Tara,” you said, making sure she knew you weren’t kidding.

“Fine,” she said, holding her hands up in surrender. “Sorry if I overstepped.”

“Thank you.”

Anika opened her mouth to say something else, but her phone vibrated, she pulled it out, shooting a quick text to whoever was on the other end. “Mindy said they finished their interrogation with Tara.”

“Good,” you said, spinning your chair to face the TV again. “You can go compare notes.” You turned on the TV and reached for your controller again.

“One more thing,” Anika said softly, her tone changing from the joking one she’d had since she showed up.

You groaned but turned your head to look up at her. “What?”

“Call your mom.” You looked down at the controller in your lap. Your body stiffened when you felt Anika rest her hand on your shoulder, but it didn’t take long for you to quickly relax. “She loves you. She won’t be mad.” You nodded but couldn’t bring yourself to look at her. “I think it will be good for you.” She gave you a comforting rub before pulling her hand away. “Goodbye.”

You turned your head enough to see Anika in the doorway but not enough that you’d be actually looking at her again. “Thank you,” you whispered.

“Anytime.” With that Anika left.

You looked at the controller in your lap a bit longer, lifting your head to stare at the screen. You had died when Anika turned off the TV, but the checkpoint was at the house you had entered so you’d just have to do that again. You stared at the screen, your thumb hovering over the button to resume. With a sigh you sat the controller on the table again as you got up and moved to sitting at your desk.

You pulled out your phone and started a facetime with your mom. It only took a few rings and even though you knew she was slammed with work she answered. “Hi mom,” you said with a small smile. It looked like she was at a hospital based on the background. Your mom was a travel nurse and even though she had originally been on vacation she got called to a hospital in another country the day she was supposed to be back. You hoped she was on break or something and hadn’t interrupted anything important.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes searching your face. You smiled at her concern. She hadn’t seen you in a few months but just one look at you through a screen and she knew something wasn’t right.

“I didn’t interrupt anything right?” you asked. Your mom’s job was important and telling her about what happened wasn’t a priority. “I can call back.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she waved you off, her eyes full of worry now. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” you smiled again but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “I am.” You nervously swallowed, preparing yourself to tell her everything that happened. “Now at least.”

“What’s wrong?” she asked again, even softer than before when you still hadn’t said anything.

“Just don’t be mad,” you whispered, tears already beginning to fill your eyes.

“I promise.”

You knew it was a stupid thing to ask. There was no way your mom would be mad at what happened, at least not mad at you. You weren’t sure why you were so afraid to tell her, you knew she would be worried, she wouldn’t care about the door, hell she wouldn’t have cared if you blew up the house, as long as you were alive, she’d be happy.

With a shaky breath you started telling her everything that happened. You watched as your moms’ eyes slowly filled with tears as well. She didn’t interrupt you, allowing you to tell her everything. She wouldn’t have had a chance to interrupt anyway, the second you started talking you couldn’t stop, you weren’t sure your rambling was even coherent at times.

“I’m sorry,” you rasped out when you finally finished, tears streaming down your face.

“I’m on my way,” your mom said instantly. “I’ll be on the next flight out.” You nodded. Through blurry eyes you could see her shuffling around and getting up from her seat. “I love you,” she said as she held the phone up to her face, she was standing, getting ready to leave the room she was in.

“I love you too,” I said.

Not long after you hung up with your mom you were still seated at your desk. The tears had stopped falling and you were staring blankly at the phone on your desk. You felt arms wrap around you from behind. Unlike with Anika you didn’t flinch, you just instantly relaxed against the chair, knowing Tara’s touch better than anyone else’s.

“I called my mom,” you said, leaning your head back so you could look up at her. “She’s on her way home.”

“Good,” she whispered. She spun your chair around, so you were facing each other. “Come on,” she reached down, tugging on your good hand. “Let’s cuddle.” She rested her hand on your cheek as she looked into your eyes. “You look exhausted.”

Your eyes drifted down. Even though some nights were better than others, especially when Tara was sleeping next to you, you hadn’t got a good night’s sleep since the attack. There were days you slept for five to eight hours, never consistently, you always woke up a few times but those were the times Tara was next to you. Any other night and it was less than five hours, you usually only got to sleep because you literally couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore.

“It’s easier to sleep during the day,” Tara whispered. Your eyes snapped back up to her, while her eyes darted around the room as if she was letting you in on a secret. “The nightmares aren’t as bad.”

You sighed, giving her a small nod. She gently dragged you to your bed, getting under the covers first with you following after. You instantly cuddled into her side, resting your head on her chest as she ran her fingers up and down your arm. It only took a few seconds for you to drift off to sleep, the last thing you remembered was Tara placing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

Taglist: @lilbitdepressed27 @fanboy7794 @noooodlessstuff @tatumrileyslover @alexkolax @canvascoloredin @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @youralphawolf72

#tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter #tara carpenter imagine #tara carpenter x fem reader #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #scream #scream 6 #scream vi #this isn't your fault

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justafewsmallsteps · 6 months

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omg omg it’s @inuvember day 19: Inuyasha & Kagome

I didn’t have anything planned so I threw this together quickly. Here’s some super rushed and rough art and a drabble from an AU I’d like to call “What If (we made out all over Feudal Japan)?” where… well…… I think you get it.

What If?

Kagome sucked in her lips, biting down on them from inside with nervous uncertainty. He wasn’t doing well.

If a quick kiss worked to heal him, just a little bit, then… What would a longer kiss do? Work the same? Work better?

“C-can I try… the thing?” she asked.

“Kiss me?” He asked, barely able to focus on her.

“You lost so much blood, and the poison is–”

“I’m human, I dunno if it’ll work.”

“I know, but I have to try something.” She was blinking back her tears.

Even blinking felt like work. “Yeah… okay.”

Kagome bent down and turned his face gently to hold it with a trembling hand.

Please let this work, she thought desperately as her lips settled over his chapped ones. Instead of pulling away quickly as she did the times before, she lingered, pressing a little harder too. Please work, please work, please work.

Tears fully glossing her eyes, Kagome finally pulled back just a little. She clung painfully onto the bit of hope in her heart.

“Anything?” She whispered as a heavy drop fell.

“I dunno… but that was… nice,” he sighed.

She pouted, voice thickened by a stuffy nose from crying. “You said it was gross to kiss me.”

Inuyasha furrowed his brow, like he was trying to remember. “Sorry. That… was a lie…”

A blush erupted onto her face. Was that…? Was he being sweet? “Oh god, you’re delirious aren’t you? You’re–”

“Kagome,” he interrupted. “I think…”

She heard a light scratch at the floor and saw his hand shift. “You can move?” she gasped, the hope suddenly bursting.

“Yeah, I’m starting to get some feeling back. I think it worked a little.”

Kagome practically leapt back onto him, kissing him fiercely with both hands cupping his cheeks. She pulled back and kissed him again and again until she felt him grip her arms.

“Woah there, Kagome.”

She only moved back a few inches. “It worked, right? So—“

His face was redder than his haori. Hers follows his example.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, pushing himself to sit up slightly. “It’s working, alright.”

Clearly the numbness was fading and her tactics were effective. That didn’t ease their embarrassment.

She nearly huffed, “What’s the problem?”

“Just give it a minute. No amount of kissing is going to turn me back into a hanyou, so we’re still screwed until sunrise.”

“I’m still mad at you about that. You should’ve told me. You should’ve trusted me with that much! Now we’re here.” She wanted to shout, but with Shippou and Nazuna sleeping in the corner, she kept her words to an angry hush. Still, the overwhelmed tears caught his attention.

He pursed his lips. “Why were you—are you—crying?”

Kagome let out an indignant sound. “Because I’m frustrated and scared! I thought you were going to die, I thought we all were going to die. We still might. This sucks!” It was a childish way to end her sentiment, but screw it! It did suck!

“Why… did you kiss me?”

She almost sputtered. “Because I need you to get better!”

“To save you?”

“To not die, you idiot! I don’t want you to die! Obviously!” She scrubbed her face angrily. Why was he being so weird?

Then he spoke, soft but firm, “One more.”

Kagome blinked. “One more what?”

“Time,” Inuyasha said, and without warning pulled her closer to lock their mouths together.

And he was right.

It was nice… His lips have warmed up, even though they’re dry and rough. It’s the first time that this feels mutual–not just contact between two bodies. It feels almost like this is real…

“Sorry,” Inuyasha muttered when they came apart. “I still couldn’t feel my toes.”

Funny, since Kagome felt hers tingling—her toes to her spine, to her fingertips, to the very top of her head.

She felt out of breath when she asked him, “Do you feel better now?”

“Yeah,” his hand came up to her cheek. “I can feel things again.”

#inuvember #day 19 #inukag #inuyasha #Kagome higurashi #jelly fic #jelly art #justafewsmallsteps #did you know the fact that #RT has stated that #the first time Kagome cries for him is the first time Inuyasha believes anyone cares about his life #is something I constantly obsess over #I could rewrite this a hundred times #ugh I love them so much I'm uNWELL

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waeirfaahl · 3 months

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The issue with Moro's wound

Although "Princess Mononoke" is one of my all time favourite animated films, since deep childhood I couldn't understand the one certain aspect. Why Moro was afraid that the Forest Spirit will take away her life instead of healing? And why would the Forest Spirit take her life away instead of healing?

This question bothered me many years not only because Moro is my favourite character in the film (and Adagio of Life and Death sequence still gives me goosebumps even after many years), but also because the movie doesn't give proper explanation, why she is ready to accept her fate and to die. So, despite her hatred toward humans, Moro still saw in Ashitaka the worthy one, who can and will care about San. The theories like "Moro is too old already, what's the point to prolong the life of old suffering animal?" are very weird, if you realize that Moro is 300-year-old wolf goddess. At least, the official artbook states exactly this age.

While Okkoto is 500-year-old boar god.

He is twice older than Moro, so what's the deal? Especially, if Okkoto himself was sure that the Forest Spirit will heal him after really deadly wounds and serious blood loss (not to mention, how the Forest Spirit saved Ashitaka, who already was almost dead).

The poisoned bullet could be removed from Moro's chest, and if San is less experienced in it (I guess), Ashitaka could help her for sure. I doubt that the bullet broke into several fragments, which are stuck in the bones and are located next to the internal organs. Probably it stuck in layers of skin and muscles. So, technically the removing of this bullet and then sewing up the wound are possible. Especially if to remember that Moro got this wound like a day ago or even only couple of hours ago.

So, most likely there's no threat of sepsis, for example. Again, the Forest Spirit saved Ashitaka, who was almost dead due to the bullet wound in the heart.

Near the end of the film the Forest spirit saved and healed both Ashitaka and San from the hatred curse they got during confrontation with demonic Okkoto and Nago earlier.

And if to look closer, you can notice that the deadly blood/body of the decapitated Forest Spirit is very similar to the snake-like worms that were inside of the demonic boars and spreaded the curse, as well as the liquid around the Forest Spirit's head either accelerated the spread of demonic poison through the body or it added another curse itself. And only after the head was returned, the Spirit healed both Ashitaka and San.

Hence the versions like "Moro confronted Okkoto, trying to save San, so she got Okkoto's hatred curse and will become the demon herself or will die, devoured by the curse, so that's why she can not be healed" also are not valid.

I can only assume that Okkoto couldn't be healed, because he fully transformed into the demon and lost his self irrevocably, so the only way was to give him rest in peace. Plus, mentioning Nago, he kinda hinted that becoming the demon is also some kind of tragedy for entire tribe and the one, who became the demon, is lost forever for his family/tribe (in pretty similar way Ashitaka became lost and dead for his tribe after Nago cursed him during confrontation). And the cherry on the top of a cake — according to early sketches, originally the Forest Spirit actually helped to San and her wolf brothers, healing Moro from the poisoned bullet.

He can do this easily, he is the patron of the forest. So, why on Earth would he refuse to heal and save the wolf goddess, who is not only the wise and useful ally, fighter and guardian, who protected him, the forest and its habitants for many centuries, but also she is mother with the three children, who are not adult for now and hence less experienced?

Maybe there was some allegory for cultural aspects of Feudal Japan or symbolism for warrior-emperor relationships (you know, the idea of "I exist only to serve and to protect my king and kingdom to my last breath, it is forbidden to ask my king for help" or whatever, and the line "She is the daughter of the wolf tribe, when the forest dies, so dies she" kinda gives impression of it), but looking at acts of the Forest Spirit near the end of the film, I don't think so. There was a chance to heal Moro at least from the poisoned bullet.

#princess mononoke #mononoke hime #moro princess mononoke

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trancylovecraft · 16 days

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(KNY) YANDERE PLATONIC! KOKUSHIBO x SISTER READER: You, Shibou. I, Kokoro (CHAPTER EIGHTEEN)

Previous Chapter ☆♡☆ Masterlist ☆♡☆ Next Chapter

AO3 link

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: "Where you go, I'm going."

Daimyo are feudal lords or magnates from ancient Japan. They ruled the majority of Japan through their hereditary land ownings, Being only subordinate to the Shogun and the Emperor.

The moon was held high in the sky, The lunar signalling midnight amongst the dark sea it hung on.

It filtered through the estate, Cracks in the pristine wood and the miniscule gaps in the windows. It was soft and sublime, A kind of light that chilled the skin in such a comforting way, A way where you just had to take a moment to take it all in.

It danced across his skin, Michikatsu's eyes shut gently as he slept quietly within his futon. The sliding window above him let the light through, Shining down onto his face as he breathed in and out.

It was the only thing illuminating the darkness of his room, The luminescence rolling off the silhouettes of what grandiose furniture was in his chambers. Mirrors, Storage units, Plants regularly watered by the servants. All of it was shrouded within darkness yet illuminated by the light just enough to make out the shape.

His eyes strained, Eyelids clenching together, However it was not due to the light.

A strange rocking sensation stirred him in his sleep, A gentle pressure on his side as he groaned softly in his sleep. He tried to shake it off as his mind was still enraptured within the thrall of his sleep, His breath only hitched for a moment before going back to its rhythm.

"Michi-nii..! Michi-nii..!"

A sort of shaky, Familiar voice called out to him in a hushed whisper. Michikatsu murmured something unintelligible through his sleep, The dark hair sprawled across his pillow and face only muddled his eyesight just a bit as he took a groggy peek.

His vision blurry, But he could make out the figure of his little sister shifting uncomfortably through the muddled darkness. He lazily lifted his head from the comfort of his pillow, Slightly shaking the hair out of his eyes.

"[F/N]..?" Michikatsu asked as he looked up at her, His vision dazed as he saw her look down at him with skittish eyes. She shifted in her oversized kimono robe she had most definetly just thrown on, Grasping onto the hems of her sleeves as she spoke.

"Michi-nii..! I'm sorry- Uhm.." She babbled slightly, Stumbling over her whispered words as she strayed her gaze away from him.

Michikatsu groaned as he propped himself up with one hand, The other moving to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"[F/N]..? What's wrong, You know father wouldn't like it if he knew you were out here at night.." Michikatsu warned softly as he watched her try to gather her words, Remembering how their father was rather.. Adverse to his offspring wandering at night.

"I-I.. Uhm.. I had a nightmare." [F/N] admitted as she finally looked down at him, Almost expecting a sort of negative reaction from him. Like how their father often did. "It was scary.. I don't wanna be alone right now.."

"A nightmare..? What do you mean?" Michikatsu asked, Still half-asleep.

"I was being chased by a monster!" [F/N] hush whispered to him, Meek eyes staring down at him. "It was so big, It had so many eyes- I was running through a town with bright lights- I could hear it running behind me! It chased me for hours before it caught me- It hurt me- It dragged me away!"

Michikatsu listened onto her rather paranoid voice, Watch as her eyes darted back and forth for any sign of the monster throughout the darkness. He could tell she was terrified, Especially as she nudged closer towards him, Gripping onto the hems of her kimono sleeves.

"..I wanna sleep in here tonight, I don't wanna be alone." [F/N] begged quietly, Almost pleading as he looked into her eyes.

Michikatsu's lips thinned as he looked at her. In any other scenario he would have no problem saying yes to her, It was difficult to say no to begin with. But recalling the time she had been caught running around the garden late at night.

Their father called it unlady-like, Especially once he found her rather fancy kimono dirtied with muck. If her future suitors knew about her unfavourable behaviour..

It didn't end good, That was the understatement. Michikatsu couldn't tell if it was bravery or audacity that she was still okay with asking him again now. But it didn't matter. Michikatsu shook his head, Pushing himself up to a sitting position.

"[F/N].. You remember what happened last time father caught you in the garden? Who knows what he'll do if he finds you here.." Michikatsu sighed as he shook his head, Giving her a rather apologetic look.

[F/N]'s eyes widened, Stepping forward towards him.

"Please.. I'm scared, What if the monster in my nightmare comes back again?" [F/N] blurted out, Stamping her little foot slightly on the floor. "I couldn't help it, I don't wanna. It's so dark and quiet- I don't like it!"

Michikatsu opened his mouth to speak once more, However [F/N] beat him to it.

"Please, Michi-nii! I don't wanna be alone.." She begged, Her voice as quiet as mouse.

Michikatsu watched as her eyes pleaded with his, Feeling like his heart was being squeezed within his chest. There it was, The difficulty to say no. Michikatsu watched her lip tremble, The shake almost extending to the rest of her body as she feared leaving the room.

He knew it was for the best if he said no..

But he sighed, Almost in defeat.

"..Alright, Come here." Michikatsu said as he beckoned her forward, Pushing the sheets off off of his body as he shimmied to the side.

[F/N] beamed, Wide and bright in contrast the the dark of his room.

"Yay! Thank you, Michi-nii!" [F/N] cheered quietly as she excitedly lowered and sat herself down next to him on the futon. Michikatsu sighed as he pulled her closer, Watching her kick off her sandals to the side of the room as she happily rested her head down on the pillow.

Michikatsu breathed out a discontented sigh, But the small smile creeping up on his face couldn't be concealed.

"But you gotta leave in the morning, Okay? Father will be coming to collect me for training and he can't find you here." Michikatsu said as he laid back down onto his futon, [F/N] by his side who eagerly cuddled up to him when Michikatsu wrapped his arms around her.

She nodded before resting her head on his shoulder.

"That's fine.. As long as the monster doesn't get me, I'll be okay." [F/N] mumbled as Michikatsu pulled over the covers to get at ease himself, Nesting herself into the blankets comfortably.

"The monster isn't real, Don't worry.. And if it is- I promise I'll protect you, Okay? That's my job as the next head of this clan.. And as your brother." He assured as he rested his head on top of hers, Shutting his eyes.

[F/N] smiled quietly as her eyes shut as well, Getting comfortable as he held her closer to him. The night terror that had haunted her before became only an afterthought as she already felt at ease under the covers, Knowing that his words would be true.

She breathed out, Nesting further under the covers.

"Okay."

☆♡☆

Obanai Iguro had no idea why he was here.

He strode through the passage of some hallway in an admittedly cosy Inn, One in the middle of absolutely nowhere he recognised. It was safe to say he was irked, The slight narrow of his mismatched eyes shown that fact rather clearly.

Kaburamaru slithered loosely around his neck, Sensing his discomfort as he flicked his lounge in and out. Obanai sighed out through the bandages making up his mask, A slight scowl still on his face as he folded his arms.

He had been called by the crow to the village of Hiyohara, A small yet beautiful little township located near Fukushima. The scroll kept within the talons of the bird had detailed little as to why he was here, Only outlining that it was important and sent by the Insect Hashira of all people.

Kaburamaru would be pleased at least.

Obanai rolled his eyes as he remembered the little crush his beloved snake had on her, Nodding to a local as they passed him by on the hallway. The number listed should've been at the end of the hallway, Where he absentmindedly strode to.

As he drew nearer and nearer to the end, He could see the final oaken door within the rather quaint hall. Though as he stepped forward once more on the floorboards, Obanai listened closer.

Noises could be heard behind it, Chatter from several different voices to be precise. Some were soft and delicate, Others were rough and steady. Male and female, Obanai furrowed his brow as he had recognised a majority of the voices.

He stopped, Pausing in front of the door. Kaburamaru coiled just a bit tighter as they stilled to listen on.

His stomach churned as he raised a fist to greet the door.

"Iguro-san!"

Obanai eyes widened as the door was swung open before his knuckles could knock against the wood, His arm swiftly lunged back to his side as his body grew rigid. Once his eyes focused, Obanai felt his heart skip a beat.

Mitsuri Kanroji stood there, Her candy coloured kimono loose-fitting and draped around her body. Beautifully vivid hair was done up in a bun decorated with jewelled pins, And she was looking at him with her signature smile.

Obanai found himself shy, Eyes darting away from her.

"I didn't know you would be here.. It's nice to see you again, Kanroji-san." He muttered.

Though he gasped once he felt her arms throw themselves around him, Pulling him closer until his head was resting upon Mitsuri's shoulder. Obanai hitched a breath, Mitsuri grinning ear to ear as she felt his warmth against hers.

"It's amazing to see you too, Iguro-san! You know, I thought you wouldn't show up! You came pretty late compared to everyone else and I assumed you might not make it!" Mitsuri squealed as she hugged him tighter, Her head resting on his shoulder and vice versa.

"Uhm.. There were a few detours I had to take to get here, I got rather lost- I apologise"

It had only taken him a day to get here, Detours taken because the directions provided were rather vague. Hiyohara was a town he hadn't visited, Fukushima being a city where he barely tread in the first place as he usually operated in the south.

"Kyah~! Don't worry about it, You're here now!" Mitsuri assured as she pulled away from him, Leaving a sort of warmth that Obanai tried to burn into his memory. "Come in, Come in! Shinobu-chan can fill you in."

Mitsuri beckoned him forward with a call of her hand, Stepping back to allow him into the neat little room they were situated in. Obanai took her invitation as he wandered inside, The view of the room finally made available to him.

It was warm, Warm enough to feel through the fabric of his slayer uniform and striped black haori. It was also a rather homely set up with a few simple futons set off to the side and minimal furniture decorating the place.

There were several people he recognised here, Shinobu and Gyomei who sat conversing off to the side who called out a greeting once he walked in. And for some reason, There was a blonde haired girl who had her hands bound to her feet with bandages, Looking rather terrified with another bandage covering her mouth.

Before he could question the bizarre sight however, His eyes caught onto something else entirely. Obanai scowled, His eyes landing on a single group in particular.

"What is he doing here." Obanai hissed as he threw out an accusing finger towards a specific spot of the room, An instant jeer taking him over as he glared hot at the group across him.

Sat at the little table in the middle of the room was Tanjiro Kamado and his sister, Followed by Shinobu Kocho's Tsuguko, Kanao and Gyomei Himejima's Tsuguko, Shizuko sitting next to some Boar-headed kid. They seemed to be drinking some blend of tea they must've acquired from the village merchants, Their cups still mildly warm.

"Oh, Hello Iguro-sama!" Tanjiro waved as he saw Obanai enter inside, Nezuko followed suit, Eagerly waving her own silent greeting as she hummed through her bamboo muzzle. Obanai only shot daggers at him, His hand itching for his blade at the sight of the girl.

"Aha.. How about we move on?" Mitsuri giggled awkwardly as she urged Obanai along, Who continued to glare at the boy and his demon sister. Guiding him past the group, They made their way towards the other two Hashira in the room.

"Iguro-san! It's great to see that you've finally arrived, I assume there was some trouble getting here?" Shinobu asked with a smile as they approached, Kaburamaru perking up at the sight of the woman, Slithering just a bit further around Obanai's neck.

Ignoring his beloved snake, His eyes narrowed on Shinobu.

"Yes.. " Obanai drawled as he eyed her up and down. "Your directions were quite vague. And you failed to mention the prescence of that boy and his demon sister. What exactly is the meaning of this?"

Shinobu hummed, A rather small and placid smile appearing on her face as he asked his question. Tilting her head to the side, She spoke.

"Aha.. I see you're still sour about a demon being in the corps, Iguro-sama." Shinobu observed as she saw his scowl. "The reason why your here on vague directions is for a mission, No need to worry!"

Obanai's face scrunched up for a second, Almost wanting to say something but instead rolled his eyes.

"..Whatever, And the girl over there? What is that about?" Obanai asked as he motioned towards the girl still tied up in the corner, Who this entire time had been making muffled pleas for help from behind the bandage covering her mouth.

"Maika Heihachiro.. One of our shrine maidens that somehow made her way here." Gyomei spoke up from beside Shinobu, Beads rattling in his hands. " An eavesdropper from what we can assume.. We caught this one listening outside the door."

"A shrine maiden, All the way out here?" Obanai 'hmphed' as he continued to look at her. Maika felt like a mouse once Kaburamaru took a rather distasteful interest in her, Hissing lowly under his breath.

Kaburamaru flaunted his fangs, Maika yelped once he near lunged towards her.

"Oh, How could I forget about you, Kaburamaru?" Shinobu giggled as her hand reached into the inside of her haori, Mitsuri and Obanai had to double take when she slipped out a little mouse from inside. Tail pinched carefully between her fingers.

"Do.. Do you keep them on you at all times?" Mitsuri gawked as she watched Kaburamaru's eyes light up, His attention drawn to the dead little mouse being lowered towards him eagerly.

"Oh, No! I just assumed my favourite serpent would want a snack after such a long journey, Doesn't he?" Shinobu cooed as she teased the mouse in front of Kaburamaru's jaw, Lowering so he could get a better grasp on the rodent.

Obanai groaned. His shoulders drooping once Kaburamaru excitedly latched onto the mouse, Shinobu letting go of the rodent to let him scarf it down almost ravenously.

"Can you stop feeding my snake, Kocho-san?" He groaned as Kaburamaru happily choked down the mouse, Shinobu not even turning to look at him as she focused her efforts on Kaburamaru.

"Aha.. Yes, I suppose we really should get down to business, Shouldn't we!" She giggled once Kaburamaru was done, Slithering back around Obanai's neck while affectionately looking at Shinobu.

She raised back up, Finally turning to look at Obanai.

"Now, Let's get to talking!"

☆♡☆

[F/N] breathed out, Feeling herself come into consciousness.

Her eyelids were heavy and she could feel the weight of her blanket cover her body. A pillow under her head, Another she hugged within her arms. [F/N] took a moment to gather herself, To bring herself back to reality.

Another sleep, Another vision.

This one was one of the unfamiliar ones, Not from her past. [F/N] could only assume that it would've been from her past life, No matter how ridiculous that sounded to anyone out of the loop.

[F/N] sighed.

Fuck, It still sounded ridiculous to her anyways.

It was still nothing, It was just another one out of the blue that meant nothing to her current situation. Apparently she had some nightmare as a child and had tried to find comfort in Kokushibo, Or perhaps it was more accurate to call him Michikatsu.

Michikatsu Tsugikuni, That was his name.

Tsugikuni, A neuron connecting in her brain.

Akeno Tsugikuni.

[F/N] had put down the journal once she had read that name yesterday. It was like a jolt to the heart once it came to her, Needing to fully put the diary down and gather her thoughts as to what she was reading.

Tsugikuni, That was the clan name that Kokushibo had provided on her very first day here. Proclaiming that Tsugikuni was her clan name too.

But who was Akeno?

Could she be a wife to another clansmen? Another sibling perhaps? A Mother maybe. [F/N] figured it was best that she'd find out during her next read, The read she was bound to get in once she finally pried herself out of bed.

[F/N] scrunched up her face. To be honest, She hadn't a clue about whatever family could've been in the Tsugikuni clan. She really didn't know anything about her so-called past life, And why Akeno's journal had suddenly appeared out of nowhere for her to read.

Currently it was lying amongst the cutlery on her bedside, [F/N] being too lazy to put it in with her rope and nails that Akaza had provided for her, Currently lying underneath her mattress. [F/N] deeming that it would be a good enough hiding place for her contraband to stay.

[F/N] stilled for a second.

She noticed something strange, Something weird in the room.

The frigid draft that usually flooded the room was so much more present than it was before, So much so that she could feel it even under the warmth of her covers. The ultramarine light that was usually outside seemed to enter in. Though she couldn't see, [F/N] could tell it was.. Much brighter than it was suppose to be.

CREAK!

Her breath hitched, Just for a moment.

Though it stilled just as fast, Returning back to a forced rhythm of pretend sleep. Up and down, She tried not to react to the depressing of the floorboards only a few feet away from her.

A sudden aura came to her, One that removed any remaining grogginess in her mind. It took everything in [F/N] to not reveal that she was awake, Not to gag or jolt at the mere presence.

Kokushibo.

He was here.

From what [F/N] could tell, He was only a few feet away from her at the other end of the room. She could already feel the burning pricks of his eyes look over her sleeping body, [F/N] trying not to shiver under that bloodcurdling gaze.

Calm yourself, [F/N].

She could feel his weight move forward, Another board creaked, A footstep placed in front of the previous.

How long had he been here? Had he just came in? [F/N] chided herself for being so caught up in her own head to ignore his presence entering the room. That foul aura, Toxic and rotten like spoiled milk and vulture chow.

It moved forward towards her, Even closer.

[F/N] listened as he began to draw near, Moving closer towards where she slept. She intently listened to every little creak of the floor, Felt that aura draw closer, Pungent and rotten.

All until that light was blocked out from what she could perceive through her eyelids.

Kokushibo standing right in front of her, Eclipsing the light.

The silence was so loud, So loud that it almost made [F/N] break the rhythm of her breath. [F/N] tried to keep up her sleeping façade, Pleading, Almost begging for him to do something to break that silence.

He was probably just here to drop off her breakfast- That was all- Everything would be-

[F/N] stilled.

What?

She almost needed to take a moment to process what was happening, Almost opened her eyes to confirm that what she was feeling.

A hand was touching her hair.

[F/N] felt Kokushibo cup his palm around her hair, His fingers somehow making their way into the strands of her hair to almost cradle the back of her head. [F/N] felt his icy cold grip like ice on her skin, So cold that the gelid ocean outside couldn't compete.

She heard him lower and a plate clatter settle down on her side table. His hand stroked her hair, Almost fondly, As if stroking the coat of a dog. She felt his clawed thumb rub circles into her skin, Gently and featherlight as if not to wake her.

She wanted to puke, Wanted to scream and shy away from his touch. [F/N] almost felt disgusted when she remembered she had to get closer to him.

Thankfully it was over in a minute, Feeling his hand leave the hair on her scalp and retract back to his side. He breathed out, Stepping back away from her only slightly as she continued to stare at her. Closer to him.

Kokushibo looked over her, Watching the sheets rise up and down in tandem with [F/N]'s breath. The platter of assorted Sashimi still laying within the cluster of bowls and plates piling up together.

He turned on his heel, Ready to exit the room like he had done everyday-

In a moment, A hand gripped onto arm.

A palm wrapping around his wrist made him still in place.

"Stay..!"

Kokushibo turned around, Eyes near bulging out of their sockets.

☆♡☆

"Master.. May I speak with you for a minute?"

Shizuko turned his head to look up at Gyomei, His master, Who overtime had made his way out of the group of other Hashira. Shinobu and Iguro seemed to be in rapt debate, Mitsuri scrambling with a nervous smile to try and calm the both of them down.

Gyomei had long abandoned trying to quell the situation, As it had proven fruitless. Obanai had grown rather understandably alarmed at the prospect of going behind Oyataka-sama's back, Decidingly getting mad about it.

Shinobu tried to calm him down along with Mitsuri, Their chatter going loud in the background as Shizuko and Gyomei stood off to the side. The other non-Hashira still conversing around the side table.

Gyomei rattled the beads snaked around his hand, Trying to shut out the differing conversations.

"I already am aware of what you wish to ask.. But please, Go ahead." Gyomei said as he heard Shizuko fold his arms next to him, Sensing his eyes narrow, A abased confusion dawning on him.

Shizuko sighed.

"Are we just not going to talk about a few days ago? You promised you would speak with me once we met again and here I am." He said, Gesturing to the whole of himself as he looked up at Gyomei. "So please, Master, Can you tell me what you know..?"

Gyomei's brows furrowed. Even though he already expected it, It was still a rather sour topic to him. When Shizuko came to him and had deduced that he, Gyomei, Had known something about the As much as he would like to tell him, It was not his story to say.

Gyomei sighed, Sad expression broadening further across his face. "No.. I cannot." He finalised as he turned towards his Tsuguko, His sorrowful expression sincere as he spoke.

Shizuko near scoffed, Almost in disbelief as he shook his head.

"Master-"

"Please.. Let me finish, Shizuko. I have my reasons for staying silent on this topic." Gyomei cut in with an assuring tone, A surprised expression flashing across Shizuko's face at his interruption.

"It is why I wished for you to be here instead of Genya, Or any other slayer.. I believe that going on this mission will do well for you"

"I still don't get it, Master." Shizuko exasperated, Shaking his head impatiently. "I've been wanting to know for years of my life who it was that held my hand, Why can't you just tell me..?"

Gyomei sighed as he listened to Shizuko's words, Knowing full well that this wasn't fair on him. Shizuko looked up at him and even though Gyomei was unable to see, He could feel the desperation within his eyes.

Gyomei's lips thinned, Brows knitting together as he tried to find the right words to say.

"Shizuko.. The reason I put our conversation off in the first place was because.. I am not the right person to have it with you." He explained slowly. "If I told you what I knew.. You would have much more questions than you would answers.. It would not be right."

"Then who is the right person?" Shizuko urged, Desperation in his voice as he stepped forward.

"Someone who will be able to explain it entirely to you." Gyomei, Unknowingly tuning into arguments only a bit away from the two of him. The higher pitched voice of Mitsuri Kanroji becoming much more prominent than it did before.

Gyomei sighed, Hearing as they continued to bicker.

Shizuko just stared at Gyomei, Desperation almost burning within his eyes. Without thought his hand trails up to his head, Fingers itching as they moved under his hair to graze over his scar, Almost begging to remember what he wanted to know.

His hand burned, The scar even more so.

"..I need to know." He whispered, More to himself now as his sight went unfocused. It was almost if he wasn't seeing what was in front of him now, Instead just a muddled memory kept locked inside his mind.

He was snapped out of it however. The wretched feeling of a hand rested on his shoulder, A horrid sensation yet more comforting than the others as he looked up.

Gyomei stared down at him, A small smile spread on his lips.

"I promise you, Shizuko.. You will know in time. Just please, Promise me you will be patient." He assured, His voice though mournful was warm enough to bring Shizuko back to reality if just for a moment.

Shizuko smiled back, Though it seemed awkward, Almost unfamiliar on his face.

"I promise. Thank you, Master." Shizuko replied, His body visibly relaxing as Gyomei's hand rested on his shoulder. Even though his touch repelled him just like the others, Shizuko could take comfort in the silence they shared, No more words needing to be spoken.

They shared a moment together, Simply like that. The sounds of argument in the background

"Mmph! Mmph!"

Both heads snapped down, Looking towards the blonde girl still restrained in the corner. It appeared that she had been here the entire time, A terrified expression still on her face as she pleaded with them to let her go through the bandage covering her mouth.

"Ah.. I had forgotten that she was there." Gyomei remarked as Maika struggled in the ropes, Trying but failing to get out.

Almost on cue, Inosuke kicked up at the other table. Yelling something with his voice sounding like pig-latin, Tanjiro and the others moving to pull him back into a more. Most definetly causing a disturbance throughout the entire inn.

Shizuko rolled his eyes.

"I should probably go deal with that.. Thank you anyways, Master." Shizuko shrugged as he pushed himself up from the wall, Smile dropping and returning to his signature Shooting Maika a glare that made a shiver run down her spine.

With that, He stalked off towards the table. Barking out a 'What are you idiots doing' as heads turned to look at him.

Gyomei shook his head as he watched Shizuko walk off, Forgetting his rather harsh tone when dealing with people.

"Hello, Gyomei-san!"

A voice called out from beside him, Happy and cheerful as he noticed it was Mitsuri. He realised that the bickering could no longer be heard in the background, With good reason hopefully, Mitsuri deciding to check-up on him afterwards.

He nodded, Turning towards her.

"Ah.. Kanroji-san. I hope Iguro-san has came around to the idea of infiltrating the cult.." Gyomei asked as she looked up at him with a rather relieved expression, Her smile widened, Just a little bit more awkwardly.

"Aha.. Took some convincing and some appealing to Kaburamaru, But he agreed to keep everything quiet eventually!" Mitsuri laughed as she scratched the back of her head, Recalling the efforts both her and Shinobu had to take to get Obanai on their side.

"And how are you doing?" Gyomei asked in return.

"Amazing now, Thanks! We finally got our business in order, So.. What's happening?" Mitsuri asked with a peppy smile as she looked up at the older man, An unknowing shine in her eyes as she looked up at him.

"Mmph! Mmph!"

Gyomei sighed as he heard Maika struggling once more.

Time to deal with this..

☆♡☆

[F/N] felt nervous.

She felt like a mouse in a trap, Caged within walls bigger than her with no way out. Or perhaps it was more accurate to say that she felt like a mouse in a laboratory, Under dissection or observation from a scientist.

It would account for the staring, After all.

[F/N] sat upon her bed, Legs folded in a basket with a plate of sashimi nestled on her lap. Her eyes were focused entirely on the seafood, Smelling the saltwater still fresh on the fish and the soy sauce it was drenched in.

Within the darkness, Were three pairs of eyes staring dead at her.

[F/N] tried not to bring attention to it as she picked up another salmon slice from her platter, Bringing it up to her lips and half-heartedly nibbling on the salinic meat. The golden eyes like stars in the night burning into her skin.

She couldn't even see him from within the darkness, His body entirely consumed by the shadow. Only the spotlights of his eyes staring dead at her, Never leaving for a moment as he sat on his knees, Watching her eat the food he had prepared for her.

[F/N] placed the salmon slice into her mouth, Slowly chewing so the taste would ruminate on her tongue. Why she asked him to stay in the first place- She regretted even asking, Believing it to be a stupid move.

To get closer to him, That was her plan. The word 'Stay' just came out of her mouth without thought. It was almost as if second nature, Even though being around him was the last thing [F/N] wanted in the first place.

[F/N] wasn't quite sure where it came from, But didn't have any basis to find out either.

So she ate her meal, Quietly and without sound as Kokushibo sat knelt in the corner, Watching [F/N] like an insect on a dissecting table. All while she tried to come up with a game plan, To try and worm her way out of this situation.

That- Or try to make the most of it.

Get closer to him like she was suppose to, Take advantage of the situation and like she was suppose to.

Either way, This was a chance to try and get him to trust her more. Even though the words were caught in her throat, Even though she wanted to shrivel up into a corner and never come out- [F/N] needed to try.

Her lips thinned.

"..The journal, Did you put it on my nightstand?"

[F/N]'s voice rang out louder than it was spoken, Her eyes still focused on her food as she blurted out her words.

Kokushibo didn't stutter, Continuing to stare at her from within the shadows of the room. It was again silent, No word spoken. [F/N] swallowed, Almost expecting him to not answer at all.

"..Yes." Kokushibo rasped, His voice that same deep drone as it always was. [F/N] tried not to release a sigh from her lips, Instead keeping them thinned and pressed together as to not reveal her discomfort.

"I see.." She mumbled as she selected another slice of sashimi, A vibrant red tuna slice bound to make mouths water, That of which was proven once [F/N] placed it onto her tongue. "I was just wondering, That's all.."

Kokushibo hummed in acknowledgement as he watched her consume the meal he made. [F/N] didn't know why she felt the need to explain herself to him, Perhaps to confirm she was in his good graces?

She swallowed the tuna, The explanation more sour than her stomach right now.

"..No offense, Kokushibo-sama but.. Why?" [F/N] asked with a cautious tone. Eyes daring to take a peak at him before catching those angler eyes in her vision, Sight quickly moving back down to her food.

"A few months ago.. You had mentioned that your breathing style requires a calm mind.. I assumed that it might assist in that perspective. Reading and meditation were two activities you mentioned.." Kokushibo explained lowly.

[F/N] hummed as she bit into another tuna chunk.

"A diary is a strange choice for reading material.." She spoke through her chews, Poking at the rest of the fish.

Kokushibo didn't answer for a while after that, Letting the silence seep back in from the absense of conversation. [F/N] began to feel the cold of her sweat build up on her back once more, Breathing much more shallow.

Kokushibo's eyes narrowed on her, Watching as she shied her gaze away from him once more.

"..Instead of questioning me, How about you tell me why you asked me to be here..?" He asked slowly, Eyes focused much hotter on her before.

[F/N] froze slightly, Her movements paused just for a second.

There was the million dollar question, The one that she had dreaded coming out of his mouth. Even though she had been expecting it, It still made a pit form in her stomach like stones.

Though her mouth was dry, She began to speak.

"I.. I don't know, I guess I just wanted to have a conversation with someone. I haven't really been able to talk with anyone in months so.." [F/N] shrugged, Shaking her head as it was the best she could come up with.

"You have that boy, Kaigaku.. Despite his rather obvious shortcomings, He should provide enough social interaction for you.." Kokushibo countered, Recalling giving Kaigaku permission to speak with her, No matter how much he detested otherwise.

[F/N] could've almost laughed at how out of touch he was. Despite being a rather solidary person, Even she needed a bit of small talk from time to time and most definetly not with one person and one person alone.

It was almost funny how deluded he was.

Despite her cold humour in the situation, She kept her face still, Though she shook her head.

"I don't like Kaigaku.. It's nothing personal, He's just not good at holding a worthwhile conversation." [F/N] sighed, More in relief as it seems that Kaigaku didn't tell Kokushibo of what happened only yesterday.

Kokushibo's face sharpened at her words.

"And you assumed that I would want to speak with you instead..?" He asked with an apathetic yet brutal expression, Eyes digging into her skin. [F/N] felt herself supress a rather nasty scowl.

What the hell was his deal?

She was trying her best to be polite with him. Despite it all, How much she despised him to the very bone, How his presence even metres away made her want to puke. His aura was rotten, But she was trying her very best to endure it.

Even he, Kokushibo had specifically told her that he would be 'withholding affection' until she got out of her 'rebellious phase'. And she was doing just as he said, She wasn't throwing passive aggressive remarks. She even made the effort to talk to him like she was doing now, Even though it made bile rise in her throat.

So why the hell did he sound so unhappy to be here right now? In fact, [F/N] felt like he was acting much more opposed to her than he usually seemed to be. Could he be suspicious? Perhaps it was because it was still a very new change in her attitude, Maybe that was it..

But it didn't add up, Not at all.

"..You can just go, I don't mind being alone" [F/N] mumbled as she turned back towards her food, Gesturing towards the door with a shake of her head. "..Sorry for keeping you from whatever you do."

She was probably gonna go back to sleep again once he left anyways, At least until Akaza returned. She'd probably just have another vision. A nightmare, Perhaps. At least that would be able to take her mind off the one that she was currently living through.

Kokushibo breathed out, Once more.

Through the silence she could her the faint patter of his hand placing onto the ground. [F/N] listened as she heard the floorboards croak, Kokushibo pushing himself up to his full staggering height.

[F/N] sighed as she heard him stand up, Waiting for him to leave as she ate the remains of her sashimi. At least he wouldn't be bothering her anymore, Expecting the ultramarine shine of the light outside to hit her face any moment now.

[F/N] chewed on her salmon slice.

Her eyebrows furrowed.

She swallowed it, The taste lasting on her tongue.

She blinked, A few moments passing as she looked up to see what was wrong. That turquoise light didn't hit her face after the usual time it took to-

[F/N] felt her heart stop entirely.

He was standing right in front of her, Not even moving an inch as he imposed over her from where she sat. They were only a feet apart, His face steeled in that omnipresent scowl that looked [F/N] felt her sweat drop, Her heart stop entirely in her chest. His eyes narrowed.

"The diary.. Have you been reading it?" He asked in a gravelly pitch, Eyes not departing from hers as his hand reached over to pluck the book from her bedside. [F/N]'s throat felt dry, Feeling herself almost shrivel up inside.

She double-taked however, Shaking off her shock.

"Erm.. Yes." [F/N] breathed out as she watched him flick open the book, Flipping through the pages at a rapid rate until it reached the page where she dog-eared to mark her place. Eyes snapped over to the letters, Beginning to read.

She watched as he scanned the lines with a quick pace, Almost jumping out of her skin once his eyes snapped back over to her.

"You have gotten a fair bit into the journal.. A fast reader, I see.." What would sound like a compliment from any other lips sounded like an observation from him, The kind that would be noted down for a scientific thesis.

[F/N] nodded along, Not daring to speak.

"You are, However.. Only a fraction of the way through.." He continued as his eyes drew back to the book, Reading from where she had left off yesterday. [F/N] felt a question burn on the tip of her tongue. Her mouth opened.

"W-Who is Akeno..? The woman in the book?" [F/N] blurted out, Her eyes still shied away from his as he looked back at her. The words just flooded out of her mouth, Almost like a dam finally breaking down.

Kokushibo breathed out.

"Our mother." He spoke simply, Face not changing a single bit.

[F/N] took a moment to process before she nodded slowly. Strangely enough, Learning that the woman she had been reading about was her supposed mother was not something that brought out a reaction out of her.

Not a big one anyways. But [F/N] couldn't deny that she felt a bit.. Intrigued.

I mean, [F/N] didn't even like her actual mother. A bitter and foul woman. It was a celebration once she died, [F/N] might as well have played beer pong with the bucket that woman kicked.

So [F/N] felt curiosity build up in her.

Would Akeno be like that?

Kokushibo slammed the book shut with a single hand, Bringing [F/N] back to the current situation she was in as she jolted in surprise. His hand moved over, Setting the journal down on the bedside.

His eyes narrowed.

"You are.. Different." Kokushibo stated, Eyes running over her like she was nothing but a frog to be cut open. It was uncomfortable, Skin itching even as he seemed to examine every little blemish on her.

[F/N] averted her gaze back down to her tightly curled fists.

"What..?" She asked slowly, Puzzled by his words.

"It is strange, You do not act like you did before.. There is a rather stark difference, Much more.." Kokushibo trailed off, Eyes still trained intently on her as he paused in his speech. The room suddenly fell quiet once more-

Deathly so.

It felt like forever, As if time had decided to slow down just in this single moment. Her skin burned and blistered under his sight, And Kokushibo never strayed his vision away from her. [F/N] silently begged him to just finish what he wanted to say, To get it over with.

But his lips thinned, And [F/N] could feel the irritated tinge in his aura from miles away.

Kokushibo turned to leave, Not bothering to finish his sentence.

"Continue reading.. I will come back tomorrow to make sure you are.." He spoke as he began to leave, Slowly stalking off towards the door in the room. [F/N]'s lips thinned before they opened.

"Uhm.. What about training?" She asked, Gripping the platter between her hands just a little too tightly.

Kokushibo paused in his walk, But he didn't turn to look at her.

"Until you are confident you will be able to wield Soul Breathing.. You will spend your time focused on literature and other remedial activities.. " Kokushibo explained as [F/N] nodded slowly to his words.

"Kind of a lack of 'remedial activities' to do.. Maybe if the library was a bit more stocked up, I'd have at least something to occupy my time." She muttered more to herself than to him, Under her breath as her eyes wandered off somewhere else.

Kokushibo hummed, Acknowledging her remark before he turned on his heel once more and left. This time, [F/N] didn't stop him as he marched towards the door within the blinding darkness, Her eyes kept on his back at all times.

Pulling it open, He didn't look back at her as the light hit her face. Then it disappeared entirely, Along with Kokushibo's presence.

[F/N] gasped before she took the biggest breath of her entire life, The air finally ripening around her as his suffocating presence left her. That rotten aura like decaying cow carcasses in a field-

It was finally gone.

☆♡☆

"This is still a stupid plan, You should have told Oyataka-sama- You should've provided the information you got from your crow instead of going rogue and deciding to go on some death mission..!" Obanai hissed, Eyes hawked in on Shinobu with a rather menacing glare.

Shinobu didn't feel it a bit however, Not even bothering to shake it off as she smiled.

"No matter now, I suppose. You already agreed to go through with this 'stupid plan' and I don't take any second thoughts!" She hummed, Looking at them from the side as they stood off a bit away from the other groups.

"I'm only doing this because of her, You know my history associated with cults.." Obanai mumbled, His head tossed to the side with a rather sour expression on his face.

Shinobu smiled, Much more sly and knowing than it should've been as she looked Obanai up and down. There was a perfectly good reason why Shinobu had asked him here in particular, Her reasoning seemingly paying off as she watched Obanai almost ogle at Mitsuri who was currently chatting with Gyomei.

"Of course.. I didn't expect anything more." Shinobu remarked as she watched the two converse idly with each other, Both glancing down at the shrine maiden they had caught hours earlier, Still restrained. Shinobu sighed, Shaking her head.

"Ah.. I suppose we shouldn't keep everyone waiting any longer, Let's head off to the convent, Hm?" Shinobu proposed, Not waiting for his response as she stepped forward towards Gyomei and Mitsuri.

Obanai nodded, Following after her as they approached the other Hashira in conversation.

"The issue is.. I'm not quite sure what do to with her."

"Keeping her here sounds horrible though.. My heart hurts thinking about it!"

"Mmph!"

"Ah, I see that you're discussing what to do with the eavesdropper!" Shinobu chirped in as she peered in behind Gyomei's back, Glossy eyes resting upon the terrified shrine maiden who squeaked once Shinobu revealed herself.

"Ah.. Shinobu-san. We're not in agreement as what to do.." Gyomei states. "I suggest that we leave her here for the inns keeper to find while we leave.. Though on the other hand, Kanroji-san believes that would be inhumane.."

"Cause it is! Who knows how long she'd be here, What if the innkeeper doesn't even find her?" Mitsuri butted in as she gestured to Maika, A puzzled frown across her face.

Shinobu nodded.

"I see.. Well I was thinking of heading out soon, Since everyone's here now. So I would like it if you came to a decision soon enough!" She hummed with a smile as Obanai appeared from the other side of Gyomei.

He huffed.

"Though I dislike this plan altogether.. I would rather it go smoothly if I am meant to do it so.. I say we toss her in the near river with her hands and legs still tied."

"Iguro-san!"

"Mmph! Mmph!" Maika muffled out what sounded like hearty disagreement, Eyes bulging out of her sockets as she stared at Obanai like he was some kind of demon, Even more so when Kaburamaru began to hiss.

Shinobu sighed as she stepped forward, Kaburamaru snapping his jaw shut once he watched her approach Maika. Knees bending as she lowered before her.

With a smile, Shinobu ripped off the bandage covering Maika's mouth.

"Ah-!" Maika gasped for what seemed like the biggest breath she had ever taken. "P-Please don't kill me! I can explain why I was listening to you're conversation, I swear!"

"Then explain.." Gyomei said, Looking rather imposing to where the girl was sat on the floor.

"O-Okay.. Erm- Give me a second I.." Maika blinked, Trying to recompose herself. "I didn't come here to tell anyone about what you were doing.. I.. I actually came because I wanted to help."

"How can we tell that you're not lying to get out of a bad situation?" Obanai asked as his eyes narrowed on her.

Maika gulped.

"B-Because I wanna help [F/N]-sama. I overheard your conversation back at the butterfly mansion, About the plan to find out where she was. I.. I wanna help, [F/N]-sama was really kind to me and I feel bad.." She said, Her eyes shying away from the group and she stared to the floor, Still shaking.

She inhaled.

"I.. I feel like it's my fault that [F/N]-sama was kidnapped. She saw me during her fight with that demon and she held back so I wouldn't get hurt.. She made sure he wouldn't find me, Even after I was injured and I just don't think I could live with myself if she stayed missing.. "

"Even though I'm a shrine-maiden.. I'm also a licensed slayer.. S-So please! If it's not a bother.. Could I please go on this mission?" Maika asked just a little bit higher than before, Sweat rolling down her brow, The fear of being rejected burning through her body.

Her lip shook.

Ever since that day in the shrine, Ever since she had woken from that coma, Maika had felt horrible about herself. To think that it was she that got [F/N] in such a bad situation, The guilt Maika felt was indescribable.

No one spoke, Not for a good long while. Their eyes darted back, Trading looks speaking their own thoughts about the situation. Iguro and Shinobu seemed rather cautious and Gyomei seemed to wait for the opinions of the others before he weighed in his own.

It was Mitsuri whoever who decided to take action, Stepping forward towards Maika before kneeling down towards her. A smile brighter than the sun outside as she grasped onto her hands.

She squealed.

"Kyah~! Of course you can come along, Anyone who wants to help, Should help!" Mitsuri grinned as she held Maika's hands within her own, Grasping them warmly as the girl looked up at the woman with a rather shocked blush burning on her face.

"K-Kanroji-sama!" She stammered.

Gyomei stepped forward.

"Are you sure about this, Kanroji-san..?" He asked as he heard their interaction, Hands still in prayer.

"Yes, One hundred percent! Let's go now, Get everyone ready. Heihachiro-san can come with us!" Mitsuri said as sure as she had ever been as she looked back at him, A massive smile on her face. Shinobu stepped forward.

"Well.. If Mitsuri-chan trusts her, Then I suppose I do too!" She cheered, Smiling slightly as she turned towards the rest of the Hashira. "Get ready and discard your slayer uniforms! We'll head for the convent in half an hour."

"Ah.. I suppose I shall be making my leave then.." Gyomei remarked as he wandered past the group, Assumedly to grab his luggage and make his goodbyes before he heads back to his estate.

Shinobu followed him off, Going to tell the group of younger slayers at the table the same news. Mitsuri quickly untied the ropes around Maika's wrists and ankles, To whom thanked her and stretched her tired limbs.

Mitsuri gave a 'no problem' in reply and raised from her position, Turning back to look at Obanai.

"Isn't this great, Iguro-san? I know we're all going off to fight an Upper Moon, But I'm still happy to be able to spend it with all of you!" She cheered with a smile, Looking at Obanai.

He swallowed, Feeling exposed all of a sudden.

"I.. Suppose." Obanai said as he tossed his head to the side, Choppy black bangs covering his red hot face as he turned away from Mitsuri.

Her brow raised.

"Ehh..? Are you okay, Iguro-san? Are you feeling alright, Your face is pretty red!" Mitsuri observed, Stumbling forward as she spotted a hint of burning blush on his face. Obanai huffed, Stumbling back from her.

"I feel fine, Thank you for your concern. We should get going soon." Obanai blurted out as he began to walk away, Leaving a confused Mitsuri watch him go. Mitsuri hummed, Acknowledging the situation.

"Kanroji-san.."

Mitsuri turned her head, As soon as Obanai left, She heard the voice of Gyomei Himejima beckon her over from the other side of the room. He was stood tall, Seemingly preparing the luggage for his departure.

"Oh.. Himejima-san!" Mitsuri called back with her smile reappearing on her face, Not wasting any time to skip over to where Gyomei stood with a . "I guess you'll be leaving now, It's a shame that you won't be able to come along with us!"

Gyomei nodded slightly,

"Yes, It is.. However I just wish to speak with you for a slight second before I leave.." He asked cordially, Stepping closer towards Mitsuri. "It is about my Tsuguko, Himejima Shizuko."

"Shizuko..?" Mitsuri mumbled under her breath, A bell ringing in her head. It wasn't long before her eyes widened however, Shoulders tensing up. "You mean [F/N]'s brother..?! He's here..?!"

Mitsuri's head instantly shot back and forth, Eyes scanning everyone in the room.

"Correct, He was the one I decided to summon after all.." Gyomei replied, Fairly confused as to how Mitsuri hadn't noticed the boy beforehand.

Mitsuri quickly spun around towards the table where everyone sat, Eyes darting through the little crowd. It seemed like they were all getting ready to head off, But from amongst the group Mitsuri could spot a certain mess of hair.

Wide eyes, Scars, Rough braided hair.

Her breath caught in her throat.

"Oh my gods, That's where I recognise him from-! How did I not see it before..?!" Mitsuri gasped as she watched Shizuko put away his things, Barely held back from rushing over to greet him.

"Kanroji-san." The rumble of Gyomei's voice made Mitsuri double take, Turning her head back around to meet his solemn face.

"I came to ask that you do me a favour, By telling Shizuko about [F/N] and his past during this mission.."

"What..?!" Mitsuri gasped, Her eyes growing wide as saucers.

"He has not forgotten her entirely, It seems.. Only a few days ago he had admitted there were some surviving memories from his accident." Gyomei explained.

She shook her head slightly, Almost unbelieving.

"No way.. He actually.." Mitsuri mumbled under her breath, Seemingly collecting her thoughts before speaking once more. "I told this to you, I don't know the full story.. I.. I couldn't give him all the answers even if he did know."

Gyomei shook his head.

"But you know the most out of us all.. And it is right that he knows what you do, At the very least.. I am not the right person, You are." He said, Nodding in her direction.

Mitsuri just looked at him, Mind racing.

Mitsuri couldn't believe what she was hearing, What she thought was just going to be a farewell turned out to be much more than she was bargaining for. It was shocking enough to hear that Shizuko actually remembered something.

But for Mitsuri to also be given the duty of explaining said something? Even more unexpected. Her face turned into a rather apprehensive frown, Lips pressed tightly together.

"Himejima-san.. I understand what you mean but- You can't just leave me with this I mean.. I've never even spoken to him before.. And [F/N].. She herself said it was for the best if they were kept apart!" Mitsuri hushed under her breath, Pleading with him both in her tone and her eyes.

Gyomei nodded slowly, His brows knitting together in a sorrowful expression.

"You are right, I am deeply sorry for leaving you with this.. But he has the right to know, Just not from me." He explained, Hearing the rough voice of his Tsuguko in the background. "For whatever reason [F/N] wished to stay apart.. I believe that is not truly what she wants."

"I.." Mitsuri thought over his words, Ones that struck a cord within her. Mitsuri knew she didn't know the full story, But she knew [F/N] down to the atom, And her wanting to stay away from Shizuko?

Yeah, That wasn't like her at all.

"You're right. [F/N].." Mitsuri stumbled over her words, Shaking her head. "Just.. All I want is some time, Okay? I'll tell him but.. I'll need to put a few things together first, Just make sure everything is understandable."

Gyomei nodded, The expression on his face lightening ever so slightly as he turned around towards his luggage laid out in a satchel. Picking it up and tying the knot.

"Thank you, Kanroji-san.. This means a lot, Both to me and I leave him in your care.. I trust you will keep him safe." Gyomei said, Slinging his satchel over his shoulder before bowing towards the woman. Mitsuri copied his actions, Lowering down herself.

"You can trust me, I promise Shizuko will be safe.." Mitsuri said, Politely yet quietly so that no one could hear them. Gyomei raised from his bow, Settling his yukata over his chest once more before grasping onto his satchel.

They said their goodbyes, And the rest of the group did the same. As Gyomei was walking out, None of the crowd noticed the new air around him and Mitsuri, Some mutual feeling like understanding shared between the two.

Mitsuri sighed once he left, Another task put on her roster along with finding out what was wrong with Shinobu. She couldn't argue however, It was much better to deal with this than let it go untouched.

Mitsuri had learnt that the hard way.

So she turned, Prancing back towards the group to help the rest of them pack their stuff for the journey ahead. She had a smile on her face, No matter how terrifying the situation was about to be.

☆♡☆

[F/N] was left sitting on her bedside, Head dropped, Hands in lap as she tried to mull over what happened.

A sort of disgusting shiver wormed through her system as she remembered his aura, Not to mention their conversation. His behaviour too was particularly unpinnable, [F/N] having no idea why he's acting repulsed to her attempts to talk to him.

It was Kokushibo after all who encouraged this behaviour in the first place, And she was trying her best to play into it best she could. Yet he seemed so opposed to it, Perhaps even a bit aggressive when she admitted she wanted to speak to him.

Why?

There was no point in trying to unravel his behaviour, [F/N] supposed. She hadn't been able to do it before so there was no way she'd ever be able to, Not right now at least.

All [F/N] knew was that she hated him. That he was a centuries old demon with violent instincts, That he had siphoned her away to some mockery of her now defunct shrine. [F/N] knew that he was a horrible person.

Her teeth gritted.

She couldn't stay here, She couldn't bare to be in this decrepit shrine any longer.

[F/N] pushed herself off of the bed, Pins and needles in her legs not bothering her as she turned back and kneeled down so far, Face peeking under the bed.

The ropes.

[F/N] needed to get to work, Right away. Hands lunged under the bed, Snatching the thick spool of unassorted ropes in a single palm as she pulled them out. She needed to start making her way through the infinity castle if she wanted to find the exit door.

"[F/N]!"

A voice called out from somewhere down the hallway, It was Akaza's, About time that he'd show up since Kokushibo had left a good few hours ago. [F/N] paid no heed however as she lugged herself back up onto her bed, Spools of rope in hand.

She set them down on her lap as the door slid open.

"[F/N], You awake?" Akaza called out into the room, Though his question was instantly answered as he watched her begin to play with the ropes in her hand from within the darkness.

"Yep, Wide awake. Had a rather eye-opening conversation with you-know-who earlier and I haven't been able to get them closed since." [F/N] replied but she didn't look at him, Instead beginning to find the ends of two rope to tie.

Akaza's face scrunched up, Golden eyes glowing in the dark.

"Seriously? You actually had a conversation with him?" He scoffed slightly.

"I'll tell you about it if you lend me a hand, We're gonna work on the rope."

"Deal. Though I'm relieved you finally decided to start working on your escape, It was starting to get annoying.." Akaza muttered as he walked forward towards her in the dark, Lunchbox in hand. "Good timing though, Was able to bring you in a few tools for the nails or whatever."

Akaza held up the lunchbox in hand, Presenting it as something more that cutlery rattled around inside. A hammer, By the sounds of it. The spare nails laying around under her bed would finally be put to use.

[F/N] didn't smile, But a glint in her eyes spoke more than she could ever say. Looking up towards Akaza, She spoke.

"Perfect."

☆♡☆

They were high up, Thousands of feet above the air.

Clouds were below them now, Like a ring surrounding the horizon. The sky fading from a desaturated baby blue to a vibrant burst of yellow now that the clock was ticking. Winds were high, Not as much as to cause resistance, But enough so that fabrics and hair would dance violently in the gales.

It was chill too. Snow dusted the glaciated landscape like sand across a desert. From towering pine trees and bustling ferns and sprigs, Slush ice lain in the nooks and crannies' of every single one.

They trudged through the pebblish pathway up the mountain, Mitsuri often gazing out into the expanse of the valley like ants below. The air flourishing up here, So fresh that she couldn't help but take it all in.

Her eyes shone, The blinding sun reflecting in her irises.

"Come on now! We're almost there!" Shinobu called out, Her voice echoing slightly as they neared the grassy top of the mountains. It had been a few hours, If they weren't trained swordswomen, They would've taken much longer in accountancy of breaks.

Mitsuri turned to her, Guiding her hair out of the way as she smiled.

"Right! Let's get a move on, Girls!" Mitsuri called out to the two girls behind her, Kanao and Maika who had issues with keeping their hair out of their faces as well. They nodded, Picking up the pace as they pushed themselves up the slope.

They had decided to split up, The men approaching where the convent should be in a different direction. They had figured that going in one big group would be rather suspicious, And according to Shinobu's plan mixed with Gyomei's information, It was best split by gender.

Kanao had Nezuko's box resting on her back, Kanao's hands resting on the straps to makes sure it stayed steady on her back. Apparently the cult had some rather interesting gender dynamics, Having the women rest and leisure while the men were put to work.

It was strange, Shinobu could tell.

"U-Um-! Can we take a break, Please?" Maika called out to the two women in front of her who had already reached the rather dense woodland atop it all. Shinobu looked at her for a second, Smiling before Maika reached the top.

"Ah.. I suppose A break would be fine. Though not for long as we need to stay vigilant, Being in one spot for too long would be dangerous, I deem." Shinobu deduced as she turned to look at the breath-taking sight beside her, Barely batting an eye as she stared out into the expanse.

Mitsuri huffed as she stopped to stretch her numb legs, Feeling the cold air soak into her skin. She stood next to Shinobu, Taking in the sight together. Something rewarding after the trek up her.

She smiled, Remembering how much times she had to pop her ears.

"Beautiful, It's a pretty nice change from the village scenery, Eh? Not saying that it was bad but.. Come on, Look at that sky~!" Mitsuri wondered with a smile.

"Yes, I agree. Almost makes it worth the journey.." Shinobu spoke with a smile.

They took a moment to breathe it all in, Gaze off onto the horizon of bursting hues, A good reward for their trek up here. They didn't speak for a while, Letting the wind chill their sweat and cool them off.

Mitsuri smiled.

"This reminds me of the golden days, You know?" She spoke softly, Eyes finally peering over to Shinobu.

"Hm?" Shinobu hummed, Turning to look at Mitsuri.

"Oh come on. Me, You and [F/N]?" Mitsuri giggled slightly, Memories coming back to her. "Remember when we travelled around slaying demons together when we were younger? It's just kind of been a while since we've been on a mission together.."

Shinobu's smile, Mitsuri never noticed but it changed, Just a little bit more.. Real.

"Remember when we had to disguise ourselves as men to sneak into that nobleman's dinner? Ah.. I remember you had to put on that masculine voice. You know, I'm pretty sure you scared some of the poor Geisha serving us." Shinobu asked, A hand covering her teasing smile.

"Ah-! Don't remind me, That was so embarrassing!" Mitsuri laughed as she fanned her cheeks. Shinobu giggled. "I guess it was pretty fun, Though! Honestly I think about it more than I should.. I guess I miss it, You know?"

Shinobu nodded, Agreeing with her statement. Her smile dimmed just a little bit, However the genuinity never died.

"If only [F/N] didn't fall into that coma.." Shinobu mumbled, Eyes looking somewhere far off.

"If only we didn't go to that festival." Mitsuri corrected, The smile dimming on her face until it darkened into a frown.

The silence afterwards was much more dense than before, Neither of the girls feeling it was right to speak. Mitsuri felt awkward under the weight of the silence, Her hands coming together to fiddle with her fingers.

Looking at Shinobu, Mitsuri could see her mind work through her eyes. It was obvious from the meeting back at the butterfly mansion that this mission meant a bit more to Shinobu than she was letting on.

And they were about to go fight Upper Moon Two, Well, They weren't quite sure how long it would take to get to that point. But Mitsuri could tell something was wrong with her, And she needed to know what.

She sighed, Air turning to vapour.

"Shinobu-chan.."

Mitsuri finally broke the silence, Shattering like glass.

Shinobu turned her head back to look at her, Small frown still on her face.

"You know I've been meaning to talk to you for a while now, And.. I feel like it's best to bring this up before we leave, You know?" Mitsuri spoke as soft and caring as she could muster, Her eyes shining as she turned to look at her peer.

Shinobu's lips turned back up into a tight smile, A twitch in her eyebrow, Glancing back towards Mitsuri.

"Mitsuri-chan, Whatever this is about, I think it's best if we save it for later." Shinobu responded, Her voice sounding like it had been practiced. "We've spent too much time in one place, We better get movi-"

"No-!" Mitsuri cut in, Realising her tone she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Shinobu-chan. But I know you've been avoiding this conversation for a while now, I want to talk, You need to tell me what's wrong."

Shinobu's smile widened as she fully turned to meet Mitsuri, A noticeable strain on her lips as she beamed at her.

"..There's nothing to speak about, Mitsuri-chan! I'm completely alright, Perhaps a bit stressed.. Maybe that's what you're worried about?" Shinobu proposed, An eyebrow raised as she tilted her head.

"No, It's- It's more than that, I can tell!" Mitsuri exasperated, Her face turning more concerned by the second. "You need to say what's going on, You've not been yourself recently.. Please, You can talk to me!"

Shinobu's stare burned into Mitsuri like the sun glaring into vision. Mitsuri watched as Shinobu just stopped entirely, Her smile still plastered on her face, Making no move to speak.

Fingers curling, A vein in her forehead. Like a porcelain doll, It was if she needed time to process Mitsuri's words.

It was disturbing, Seriously distur-

"Greetings, Is anyone there?"

Heads jerked towards the source of the new voice, Belonging to none within the designated group.

By the edge of the forest-line stood a woman accompanied by a child, Both adorned in white robes. The women cradled a wicker basket in her hand, Half full with what seemed to be the fruit that grew here.

The child held one too, Both looking at the group of girls before them.

The smell of Lotus Flowers burned in the air, Noticeably so.

"Ah..! Greetings, Ma'am! We didn't think anyone would be out here!" Shinobu giggled, Readily stepping away from Mitsuri and towards the woman and child duo instead. "My name is Fujimori Hina, I apologise if we startled you!"

The woman watched as Shinobu lowered down into a respectful bow, Her eyes seemed apprehensive as they darted amongst the newcomers before her. Shinobu could spot the child shifting behind the woman, His eyes wide as he stared.

The woman's lips turned into a smile, Though it was very much faked.

"Ah.. No, I had just heard voices and thought it was best to come check it out." The woman explained, Examining Shinobu from head to toe. "What are you all doing up here..? This is rather far from the nearest village.."

Shinobu raised from her bow to see the woman, Suspicious already even with that kind smile, Shinobu could tell. The child behind her seemed rather hesitant towards them, Almost as if they were an oddity.

Shinobu nodded, Shooting a look towards Mitsuri that spoke plenty.

"We got lost, You see.. We've been meaning to head to Fukushima however our ride broke down and left us stranded!" Shinobu frowned and shook her head, An unfortunate expression on her face. "We figured we could find a village from this vantage point.. However it seems the one down there is a rather long journey.."

"Y-Yeah! It's been a while since we've ate is all.. " Maika piped up from where her and Kanao sat on the floor, Voice shaking, Eyes trained on the woman and her rather odd appearance.

The woman nodded slowly.

"Ah.. I understand. And you all are.."

"-They're my sisters." Shinobu finished. "And yes, Adopted before you ask. I realise we do not look similar, We get that question a lot." She laughed airliy, A smile reappearing upon her face.

"Umeko." Mitsuri said, Raising her hand to greet her.

"Asuna..!" Maika chimed in.

"Kariya." Kanao spoke.

"Right.. I see." The woman drawled, Eyes narrowing. For some reason she was suspicious, Rather apprehensive to the women she came across. "I suppose that you better start moving, It is a rather long journey to the village.."

The woman spoke, A sort of politeness in her voice that was. She almost looked like she was ready to leave, Prepared to grab the child by the wrist and beckon him off into the forest.

Acting quickly, Mitsuri stepped forward.

"Please, Ma'am. We don't mean to trouble you.. But is there anywhere we could stay for tonight?" She begged, Both in voice and her eyes. "We promise to repay you..! We just want somewhere to rest for a while, A bit of food and someplace to pray."

Mitsuri's tone pleaded with the woman, Who still looked rather apprehensive towards the group. Mitsuri, Though a little annoyed that she was cut off from reaching Shinobu, Still grasped the situation. Seeing how the woman appeared aloof.

Though her eyes shifted once the word prayer came from Mitsuri's tongue, A glint like stars in her irises.

They all waited on baited breath, One's they didn't know they were holding. Both Mitsuri and Shinobu both knew that this was no ordinary woman, Both by looks and by her actions. What reason she had to be suspicious, A dead give away.

Would she respond in kind or in aggression? Did she know they were slayers?

The woman breathed out.

"..Well, I suppose that it is only right if I help out my fellow women of faith." The woman smiled, Much more genuine this time. Shinobu's ears twitched at the word 'faith', Her eyes narrowing as the woman stepped towards them.

A wave of relief flooded amongst the group, Shoulders slumping, Held breaths released from lungs. The woman stepped to the side, Child following after her as she beckoned the group to follow her.

"You can follow me, I'm sure I can get you all fed and cared for. You're lucky..! Fortunately around here, We always make sure to tend to our fellow faithful." The woman smiled as she turned, Basket in hand as she began to wander off into the woods.

"Of course, Thank you so much, Ma'am! We appreciate it so much..!" Shinobu thanked her, Bowing her head lightly before taking the first skip to follow the woman. Mitsuri following after, The girls coming last.

They followed her, Trailing along her pathway through the tall forest she came from. The child skipping ahead, Seemingly not wanting to be near the group of girls.

Looks shared between them spoke more than what they could say. Looks of suspicion and fear, While Mitsuri and Shinobu's seemed much more steady as they walked. They both knew that this woman had to be associated with the cult.

Especially with the way she said 'faith'.

Some woman with some pungent scent. It wasn't bad, Per se, But it was strong. It was like freshwater and flowers, So freezingly refreshing yet bitter all the same. Her clothes were pure, No blemish to be found upon the dove white of her kimono.

It was like wedding attire, Was she going to be wed?

It looked so, Everything about her seemed perfectly done. Her hair was midnight yet glistened under the mountain sun, Her makeup could put the most gorgeous Oiran to shame..

It was strange, So beautifully strange.

So they followed along, Both hesitant and eager at the same time. Forest growing darker as they walked, More dense, Deeper and deeper they went.

And the smell of Lotus Flowers grew so much more potent.

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signalburst · 18 days

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Shōgun Historical Shallow-Dive: the Final Part - The Samurai Were Assholes, When 'Accuracy' Isn't Accurate, Beautiful Art, and Where to From Here

Final part. There is an enormous cancer attached to the samurai mythos and James Clavell's orientalism that I need to address. Well, I want to, anyway. In acknowledging how great the 2024 adaptation of Shōgun is, it's important to engage with the fact that it's fiction, and that much of its marketed authenticity is fake. That doesn't take away from it being an excellent work of fiction, but it is a very important distinction to me.

If you want to engage with the cool 'honourable men with swords' trope without thinking any deeper, navigate away now. Beyond here, there are monsters - literal and figurative. If you're interested in how different forms of media are used to manufacture consent and shape national identity, please bear with me.

I think the makers of 2024's Shōgun have done a fantastic job. But there is one underlying problem they never fully wrestled with. It's one that Hiroyuki Sanada, the leading man and face of the production team, is enthusiastically supportive of. And with the recent announcement of Season 2, it's likely to return. You may disagree, but to me, ignoring this dishonours the millions of people who were killed or brutalised by either the samurai class, or people in the 20th century inspired by a constructed idea of them.

Why are we drawn to the samurai?

A pretty badly sourced, but wildly popular history podcast contends that 'The Japanese are just like everybody else, only more so.' I saw a post on here that tried to make the assertion that the show's John Blackthorne would have been exposed to as much violence as he saw in Japan, and wouldn't have found it abnormal.

This is incorrect. Obviously 16th and 17th century Europe were violent places, but they contained violence familiar to Europeans through their cultural lens. Why am I confidently asserting this? We have hundreds of letters, journals and reports from Spaniards, Portuguese, Dutch and English expressing absolute horror about what they encountered. Testing swords on peasants was becoming so common that it would eventually become the law of the land. Crucifixion was enacted as a punishment for Christians - first by the Taiko, then by the Tokugawa shogunate - for irony's sake.

Before the end of the feudal period, battles would end with the taking of heads for washing and display. Depending on who was viewing them, this was either to honour them, or to gloat: 'I'm alive, you're dead.' These things were ritualised to the point of being codified when real-life Toranaga took control. Seppuku started as a cultural meme and ended up being the enforced punishment for any minor mistake for the 260 years the ruling samurai class acted as the nation's bureaucracy. It got more and more ritualised and flowery the more it got divorced from its origin: men being ordered by other men to kill themselves during a period of chaotic warfare. I've read accounts of samurai 'warriors' during the Edo period committing seppuku for being late for work. Not life-and-death warrior work - after Sekigahara, they were just book-keepers. They had desk jobs.

Since Europe's contact with Japan, the samurai myth has fascinated and appalled in equal measure. As time has gone on, the fascination has gone up and the horror has been dialled down. This is not an accident. This isn't just a change in the rest of the world's perception of the samurai. This is the result of approximately 120 years of Japanese government policies. Successive governments - nationalist, military authoritarian, and post-war democratic - began to lionize the samurai as the perfect warrior ideal, and sanitize the history of their origin and their heydey (the period Shōgun covers). It erases the fact that almost all of the fighting of the glorious samurai Sengoku Jidai was done by peasant ashigaru (levies), who had no choice.

It is important to never forget why this was done initially: to form an imagined-historical ideal of a fighting culture. An imagined fighting culture that Japanese invasion forces could emulate to take colonies and subdue foreign populations in WWI, and, much more brutally, in WWII. James Clavell came into contact with it as a Japanese Prisoner of War.

He just didn't have access to the long view, or he didn't care.

The Original Novel - How One Ayn Rand Fan Introduced Japan to America

There's a reason why 1975's Shogun novel contains so many historical anachronisms. James Clavell bought into a bunch of state-sanctioned lies, unachored in history, about the warring states period, the concept of bushido (manufactured after the samurai had stopped fighting), and the samurai class's role in Japanese history.

For the novel, I could go into great depth, but there are three things that stand out.

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story. He's a novelist, and he did what he liked. But Clavell's novel was groundbreaking in the 70's because it was sold as a lightly-fictionalised history of Japan. The unfortunate fact is the official version that was being taught at the time (and now) is horseshit, and used for far-right wing authoritarian/nationalist political projects. The Three Unifiers and the 'honour of the samurai' magnates at the time is a neat package to tell kids and adults, but it was manufactured by an early-20th century Japanese Imperial Government trying to harness nationalism for building up a war-ready population. Any slightly critical reading of the primary sources shows the samurai to be just like any ruling class - brutal, venal, self-interested, and horrifically cruel. Even to their contemporary warrior elites in Korea and China.

Fake history as propraganda. Clavell swallowed and regurgitated the 'death before dishonour', 'loyalty to the cause above all else', 'it's all for the Realm' messages that were deployed to justify Imperial Japanese Army Class-A war crimes during the war in the Pacific and the Creation of the Greater East Asian Co-Properity Sphere. This retroactive samurai ethos was used in the late Meiji restoration and early 20th century nationalist-military governments to radicalise young Japanese men into being willing to die for nothing, and kill without restraint. The best book on this is An Introduction to Japanese Society by Sugimoto Yoshio, but there is a vast corpus of scholarship to back it up.

Clavell's orientalism strays into outright racism. Despite the novel Shōgun undercutting John Blackthorne as a white savior in its final pages - showing him as just a pawn in the game - Clavell's politics come into play in every Asia Saga novel. A white man dominates an Asian culture through the power of capitalism. This is orthagonal to points 1 and 2, but Clavell was a devotee of Ayn Rand. There's a reason his protagonists all appear cut from the same cloth. They thrust their way into an unfamiliar society, they use their knowledge of trade and mercantilism to heroically save the day, they are remarked upon by the Asian characters as braver and stronger, and they are irresistible to the - mostly simpering, extremely submissive - caricatures of Asian women in his novels. Call it a product of its times or a product of Clavell's beliefs, I still find it repulsive. Clavell invents (nearly from whole cloth, actually) the idea that samurai find money repulsive and distasteful, and his Blackthorne shows them the power of commerce and markets. Plus there are numerous other stereotypes (Blackthorne's massive dick! Japanese men have tiny penises! Everyone gets naked and bathes together because they're so sexually free! White guys are automatically cool over there!) that have fuelled the fantasies of generations of non-Japanese men, usually white: Clavell's primary audience of 'dad history' buffs.

2024's Shōgun, as a television adaptation, did a far better job in almost every respect

But the show did much better, right? Yes. Unquestionably. It was an incredible achievement in bringing forward a tired, stereotypical story to add new themes of cultural encounter, questioning one's place in the broader world, and killing your ego. In many ways, the show was the antithesis to Clavell's thesis.

It drastically reigned in the anachronistic, ahistorical referencees to 'bushido' and 'samurai honor', and showed the ruling class of Japan in 1600 much more accurately. John Blackthorne (William Adams) was shown to be an extraordinary person, but he wasn't central to the outcome of the Eastern Army-Western Army civil war. There aren't scenes of him being the best lover every woman he encounters in Japan has ever had (if you haven't read the book, this is not an exaggeration). He doesn't teach Japanese warriors how to use matchlock rifles, which they had been doing for two hundred years. He doesn't change the outcome of enormous events with his thrusting, self-confident individualism. In 2024's Shōgun, Blackthorne is much like his historical counterpart. He was there for fascinating events, but not central. He wasn't teaching Japanese people basic concepts like how to make money or how to make war.

On fake history - the manufactured samurai mythos - it improved on the novel, but didn't overcome the central problems. In many ways, I can't blame the showrunners. Many of the central lies (and they are deliberate lies) constructed around the concept of samurai are hallmarks of the genre. But it's still important to me to notice when it's happening - even while enjoying some of the tropes - without passively accepting it.

'Authenticity' to a precisely manufactured story, not to history

There's a core problem surrounding the promotion and manufactured discussion surrounding 2024's Shōgun. I think it's a disconnect between the creative and marketing teams, but it came up again and again in advertising and promotion for the show: 'It's authentic. It's as real as possible.'

I've only seen this brought up in one article, Shōgun Has a Japanese-Superiority Complex, by Ryu Spaeth:

'The show also valorizes a supreme military power that is tempered by the pursuit of beauty and the highest of cultures, as if that might be a formula for peace. Shōgun displays these two extremes of the Japanese self, the savagery and the refinement, but seems wholly unaware that there may be a connection between them, that the exquisite sensibility Japan is famous for may flow from, and be a mask for, its many uses of atrocious domination.'

Here we come to authenticity.

'The publicity surrounding the series has focused on its fidelity to authenticity: multiple rounds of translation to give the dialogue a “classical” feel; fastidious attention to how katana swords should be slung, how women of the nobility should fold their knees when they sit, how kimonos should be colored and styled; and, crucially, a decentralization of the narrative so that it’s not dominated by the character John Blackthorne.'

It's undeniable that the 2024 production spent enormous amounts of energy on authenticity. But authenticity to what? To traditional depictions of samurai in Japanese media, not to history itself. The experts hired for gestures, movement, costumes, buildings, and every other aspect of the show were experts with decades in experience making Japanese historical dramas 'look right', not experts in Japanese history. But this appeal to 'Japanese authenticity' was made in almost every piece of promotional material.

The show had only one historical advisor on staff, and he was Dutch. The numerous Japanese consultants, experts and specialists brought on board (talked about at length in the show's marketing and behind the scenes) were there to assist with making an accurate Japanese jidaigeki. It's the difference between hiring an experienced BBC period drama consultant, and a historian specialising in the Regency. One knows how to make things look 'right' to a British audience. The other knows what actually happened.

That's fine, but a critical viewing of the show needs to engage with this. It's a stylistically accurate Japanese period drama. It is not an accurate telling of Japanese history around the unification of Japan. If it was, the horses would be the size of ponies, there would be far more malnourished and brutalised peasants, the word samurai would have far less importance as it wasn't yet a rigidly enforced caste, seppuku wouldn't yet be ritualised and performed with as much frequency, and Toranaga - Tokugawa - would be a famously corpulently obese man, pounding the saddle of his horse in frustration at minor setbacks, as he was in history.

The noble picture of restraint, patience, refinement and honour presented by Hiroyuki Sanada as Toranaga/Tokugawa is historical sanitation at its most extreme. Despite being Sanada's personal hero, Tokugawa Ieyasu was a brutal warlord (even for the standards of the time), and he committed acts of horrific cruelty. He ordered many more after gaining ultimate power. Think a miniseries about the Founding Fathers of the United States that doesn't touch upon slavery - I'm sure there have been plenty.

The final myth that 2024's Shōgun leaves us with is that it took a man like Toranaga - Tokugawa Ieyasu - to bring peace to a land ripped assunder by chaos. This plays into 19th century notions of Great Man History, and is a neat story, but the consensus amongst historians is if it wasn't Tokugawa, it would have been some other cunt. In many cases, it very nearly was. His success was historical contingency, not 5D chess.

So how did this image get manufactured, to the point where the Japanese populace - by and large - believes it to be true? Very long story short: after a period of rapid modernisation, Japan embraced nationalism in the late 19th century. It was all the rage. Nationalism depends on a glorified past. The samurai (recently the pariahs of Japanese history) were repurposed as Japan's unique warrior heroes, and woven into state education. This was especially heated in the 1920s and 30s in the lead up to the invasion of Manchuria and Japan's war of aggression in the Pacific. Nationalism + militarism = the modern Japanese samurai myth, to prepare men to obey orders unquestioningly from a military dictatorship.

This persists in the postwar period. Every year since 1963, Japan's state broadcaster NHK commissions a historical drama - a Taiga Drama, where many of this show's actors got their starts - that manufactures and re-enforces the idea of samurai as noble, artful, honourable people. Read a book - read a Wikipedia article! - and you'll see that most of it stems from Tokugawa-shogunate era self-propaganda. It's much like the European re-interpretation of chivalry. In Europe's case, chivalry in actual history was a set of guidelines that allowed for the sanctioned mass-rape and murder of civilians, with a side of rules regarding the ransoming of nobles in scorched-earth military campaigns. In Japan's case, historical figures that regularly backstabbed each other, tortured rival warriors and their lessers, and inflicted horrific casualties on the peasants that they owned (we have a term for that) are cast as noble, honourable, dedicated servants of the Empire.

Why does this matter to me? Samurai movies and TV shows are just media, after all. The issue, for me, is that the actors, the producers - including Hiroyuki Sanada - passionately extoll 'accuracy' as if they genuinely believe they're telling history. They talk emotionally about bushido and its special place in Japanese society.

But the entire concept of bushido is a retroactive, post-conflict, samurai construction. Bushio is bullshit. Despite being spoken of as the central tenet of 2024's Shōgun by actors like Hiroyuki Sanada, Tadanobu Asano, and Tokuma Nishioka, it simply didn't exist at the time. It was made up after the advent of modern nationalism.

It was used to justify horrendous acts during the late Edo period, the Meiji restoration, and the years leading up to the conclusion of Japan's war of aggression in the Pacific. It's still used now by Japan's primarily right-wing government to deny war crimes and justify the horrors unleashed on Asia and the Pacific during World War II as some kind of noble warrior crusade. If you ever want your stomach turned, visit the museum attached to Yasukuni Shrine. It's a theme park dedicated to war crimes denial, linked intimately to Japan's imagined warrior past. Whether or not the production staff, cast, and marketing team of 2024's Shōgun knew they were engaging with a long line of ahistorical bullshit is unknown, but it is important.

It's also important to acknowledge that, having listened to many interviews with Rachel Kondo and Justin Marks, they were acutely aware that they weren't Japanese, to claim to be telling an authentically Japanese story would be wrong, and that all they could do was do their best to make an engaging work that plays on ideas of cultural encounter and letting go. I think the 'authenticity!' thing is mostly marketing, and judicious editing of what the creators and writers actually said in interviews.

So... you hate the show, then? What the hell is this all about?

No, I love the show. It's beautiful. But it's a beautiful artwork.

Just as the noh theatre in the show was a twisting of events within the show, so are all works of fiction that take inspiration from history. Some do it better than others. And on balance, in the show, Shōgun did it better than most. But so much of the marketing and the discussion of this adaptation has been on its accuracy. This has been by design - it was the strategy Disney adopted to market the show and give it a unique viewing proposition.

'This time, Shōgun is authentic!*

*an authentic Japanese period drama, but we won't mention that part.

And audiences have conflated that with what actually happened, as opposed to accuracy to a particular form of Japanese propaganda that has been honed over a century. This difference is crucial.

It doesn't detract from my enjoyment of it. Where I view James Clavell's novel as a horrid remnant of an orientalist, racist past, I believe the showrunners of 2024's Shōgun have updated that story to put Japanese characters front and centre, to decentralise the white protagonist to a more accurate place of observation and interest, and do their best to make a compelling subversion of the 'stranger in a strange land' tale.

But I don't want anyone who reads my words or has followed this series to think that the samurai were better than the armed thugs of any society. They weren't more noble, they weren't more honourable, they weren't more restrained. They just had 260 years in which they worked desk-jobs while wearing two swords to write stories about how glorious the good old days were, and how great people were.

Well... that's a bleak note to end on. Where to from here?

There are beautiful works of fiction that engage much closer with the actual truth of the samurai class that I'd recommend. One even stars Hiroyuki Sanada, and is (I think) his finest role.

I'd really encourage anyone who enjoyed Shōgun to check out The Twilight Samurai. That was the reality for the vast majority of post-Sekigahara samurai

For something closer to the period that Shogun is set, the best film is Seppuku (Hara-Kiri in English releases). It is a post-war Japanese film that engages both with the reality of samurai rule, and, through its central themes, how that created mythos was used to radicalise millions of Japanese into senseless death during the war. It is the best possible response to a romanticisation of a brutal, hateful period of history, dominated by cruel men who put power first, every single time.

I want to end this series, if I can, with hope. I hope that reading the novel or watching the 1980 show or the 2024 show has ignited in people an interest in Japanese culture, or society, or history. But don't let that be an end. Go further. There are so many things that aren't whitewashed warlords nobly killing - the social history of Japan is amazing, as is the women's history. A great book for getting an introduction to this is The Japanese: A History in 20 Lives.

And outside of that, there are so many beautiful Japanese movies and shows that don't deal with glorified violence and death. In fact, it makes up the vast majority of Japanese media! Who would have thought! Your Name was the first major work of art to bridge some of the cultural animosity between China and Japan stemming from WW2, and is a goofy time travel love story. Perfect Days is a beautiful movie about the simple joy of living, and it's about the most Tokyo story you can get.

Please go out, read more, watch more. If you can, try and find your way to Japan. It's one of the most beautiful places on earth. The people are kind, the food is delicious, and the culture is very welcoming to foreigners.

2024's Shōgun was great, but please don't let that be the end. Let it be the beginning, and I hope it serves as a gateway for you.

And I hope our little fandom on here remembers this show as a special time, where we came together to talk about something we loved. I'll miss you all.

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kaladinkholins · 3 months

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I was wondering, what do u think Taigen reaction to finding out about Mizu being a woman will be? Although I don’t think he will have a bad reaction I wanted to know what u thought about it?

OOH I like this question because the thoughts on this have been swirling around in my brain for a while and I don't think I ever properly talked about this, outside of maybe this post (which is barely coherent imo). There, I compared Mizu/Taigen to Mizu/Mikio, as well as to the main romantic couple in the movie Yentl. Then from both those comparisons, I tried to speculate on Taigen's reaction to Mizu's gender reveal, based on what would make the most narrative sense.

However, I didn't really analyse Taigen himself in that post, and neither did I ever come up with a concrete conclusion to what his reaction may be. So this ask gives me a good chance to speculate even further and hopefully come up with a proper and more in-depth answer.

Similar to you, anon, I don't think Taigen will have a bad reaction per se, though I guess it depends on what you'd define by bad.

Because this is Taigen we're talking about, I don't think he'd exactly be chill about it. He's very much a drama queen, especially around Mizu, as he's never afraid of stepping on her toes, and thus will vocalise his feelings to her whenever he's feeling them. That, combined with his short temper and his brashness, means that there's almost certainly going to be conflict when he finds out the truth. He will be shocked, and because he's immature, he'll be angry and upset because of this shock. Simply because he doesn't know, and hasn't yet learned, how to deal with his emotions in any other way besides getting angry.

So I think that will definitely be his first instinct. To get upset.

I don't think he'd immediately know why he's upset. Maybe only after a few minutes of angry questioning (think something along the lines of "Why are you telling me this now?!" and "You've been hiding this all this time?!"), he'd finally come up with some tangible cause for his anger.

What would the cause for his anger be then? Well, it could be several things.

Possible Reason #1

He feels "betrayed" because Mizu didn't trust him enough with the truth even after the two have grown close, and after Taigen has put his life on the line for her numerous times.

Possible Reason #2

He feels "cheated" because Mizu is not the man he'd believed she was, thus making it feel like their entire friendship was a sham. This is because the basis for their relationship, in the way he'd related to her, bullied her, envied her, admired her, allied himself with her, and eventually grown attracted to her, had been entirely based off the premise and belief that Mizu is his fellow man, his peer, comrade, and fellow samurai. Thus, discovering that Mizu is not a man would, initially, feel like all of that has been ripped away from him. And this is actually related to the third possible reason.

Possible Reason #3

This is a big one, and the reason everyone, including myself, is putting their bets on: misogyny.

Essentially, Taigen would find out that this whole time, the person he'd been envious of and struggling to beat in every single fight, is not a man, but a woman. And as far as he knows, even if women in feudal Japan could once be warriors (see: the Onna-musha), perceptions have since changed by the time of the Edo period. Furthermore, even if women could fight, men were still expected to be stronger, because men are supposed to protect women.

However, I believe that Taigen's particular flavour of misogyny is a little different, in that he does not view women as "inferior." Because remember, his fiancee was Akemi. This was a woman who took no shits! She was snarky and playful and intelligent, and moreover she was a princess, superior to him in every way, and he knew and respected all of that, and respected her as an individual who could make her own choices. When she'd told him the news of their engagement, Taigen asked her, "He's [your father] sure? You're sure?" And then, when she tried to seduce him in Ep 2, he asked her, "Akemi, are you sure?"

His respect for her is the only reason why Akemi had been so desperate to marry him in the first place. She did not love him, but knew he would be good to her. Because she could not guarantee that any other man would treat her nicely as he would.

Thus, with that being said, I don't think Taigen is some "alpha male dudebro" who thinks women belong in the kitchen etc. Instead, I think Taigen simply believes women are just... different from men. So it's not that women can't or shouldn't fight, it's that they just don't. It's not that women can't or shouldn't be friends with men on equal footing, it's just that they aren't. You get what I'm saying?

It's like, imagine your whole life, you're told, and fully led to believe, that a lamp can't light up. They're just meant to be in your house as decoration. And then suddenly, you find out that your lamp lights up! And you're like, "OMG a lamp is lighting up! How is it doing that?! I thought light only comes from candles and the sun! This can't be right, I thought lamps never light up! Isn't that a fundamental part of their design?"

Now, put aside that this is a pretty bad analogy because it's 1am as I'm writing this and I can't think of a better one atm, but I hope the point comes across, in that this is clear-cut misogyny (I'm comparing women to a piece of furniture here on purpose), but the lucky thing about this particular flavour of misogyny is that it's rooted in ignorance, and is not inherently malicious. It can be, but it isn't necessarily.

Ignorance can be undone through learning and educating oneself. And luckily for us, my friends, educating oneself out of ignorance is the entire point of Taigen's character! He represents the uneducated masses who blindly follow the flow of the fucked up system. This is in contrast to Mizu who has never had a place within the system to begin with, Akemi who has spent her whole life struggling to go against the grain of the system, and Ringo who has always tried to follow the system, but due to his disability, is denied full access to it.

Thus, we've already seen him take the first steps to unlearn his xenophobic and racial prejudice, and we've also seen him start shedding his massive ego and desire for glory, which are both used to mask his own insecurities. If Netflix gives us all 4 planned seasons, then we have 3 more seasons for Taigen to fully grow out these backwards mindsets and finally reach his full potential to become—not a good man—but a great one.

THEREFORE, whatever the reason for his upset at discovering Mizu's gender, I firmly believe that Taigen will get over himself in the end, regardless of whether his anger stemmed from his misogyny, hurt, confusion, or whatever else.

Because Taigen's short temper and emotional immaturity is born from him spending his whole life on the move. Unlike Mizu, who is always alone with her thoughts and meditates constantly to try to cleanse herself of her restless emotions, Taigen is used to surrounding himself with people (see:him in the Shindo Dojo) and ignoring his emotions completely (see:him trying to forget Kohama). Which is why, when he does feel anything, it's overwhelming, and he doesn't know what else to do with it except let it out, usually in an angry outburst. Only when given the proper chance to reflect in Kohama in Ep7, does Taigen finally go through some substantial growth and start feeling remorse over how he'd treated Mizu.

Hence, I suspect something similar will happen when he discovers Mizu's gender, in which he will get upset and shocked and confused first, but then he'll reflect and regret and try to make up for his past behaviour.

And this is what I meant earlier when I said that I don't think he'll 't have a "bad reaction."

Essentially, it is my belief that his reaction will not follow in the footsteps of Mikio's, but instead, directly oppose and subvert that. This is related to the points I referenced in the post I linked above, but also, more importantly, because Taigen and Mikio are narrative foils.

Thus, where Mikio had betrayed Mizu and left her for dead, I believe Taigen will, at the end of the day, remain loyal and continue to fight by her side until the very end.

Because the thing about Taigen, as a person, outside of all the attitudes and prejudices that have been ingrained into him, is his relentless devotion. He gives himself into everything he does, puts in his all, and does not do things halfway. That's what makes him such a good soldier. He does not lead, but follows. He is inherently self-sacrificing and driven by a desire to protect, and we see this in how protective he is of Mizu to the point of enduring torture for her and telling her to use him as a human shield; how his first instinct upon hearing Akemi had been dragged off to get married against her will, is to get up and try to go to her; and how, when hearing the shogunate is in danger, he immediately goes straight to Edo palace to try to warn the shogun, even if it might get him killed in the process.

I could go on about why I think this is what makes him so good for Mizu (because Mizu's arc, especially in Season 1, is literally about accepting help and opening herself up to others) but this post is already atrociously long, so I'll just leave it at that.

So, anon, I hope I answered your question! I'm sorry I can never give short answers though, but I think at this point, it's to be expected from me lol. Thank you for the ask btw! And on that note, my inbox is always open for more 👀

#blue eye samurai meta #taigen blue eye samurai #taigen x mizu #mizu x taigen #taimizu #letters.doc #meta dissertations.pdf #<- i have a new tagging system for my fandom posts! the rest are listed in my pinned <3 #anon #blue eye samurai #fandom.rtf

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kleftiko · 9 months

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❦ HOUSE OF SILVER

cw: mature themes (paid sexual favours), implied historical violence, historical ideologies regarding sex, fem!reader

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

The Edo period—the final era of feudal Japan. daimyos, samurais, and the common class, all with a purpose to help society. After her father lost his money and status when she was a child, y/n works as a maid in a teashop, following courtesans and cleaning up after their jobs. When the head of the Gojo clan comes in one night, she doesn’t expect to see him again, much less have him call on her.

The winter season is slowly creeping up. Morning air has a slight bite to it, though you don't experience it much; by morning, you're always exhausted, having cleaned rooms all night. Some were better than others; it always depends on what the customer is into.

The entertainment district always had a certain uncertainty about it. Anything was possible—anyone was possible—and people showed their true colours in the night, behind the veil of the brightly coloured lights and behind the doors of tea shops.

but that never concerns you. With winter coming up, the only thought you have is which drunk customer would drag slush onto the clean floors.

"I hope he comes again." The dreamy sigh that escaped her painted lips could only be reserved for one customer. the daimyo and head of the Gojo clan, Gojo Satoru.

Not only was it an honour to be called upon by the most powerful man around, but it also helped that he was utterly gorgeous. His beauty was spoken of like a welcomed curse—courtesans would leave his presence with a smile on their face, a haze in their eyes, and pride in their step. Though you can't imagine he's that enchanting. Women leave his presence and don't whisper a word of his doings, instead letting a sigh escape and saying something along the lines of

"you would have to be there to know."

"You really like Lord Gojo." You look over at Miwa, who brushes her hair with a gleam in her eyes.

She just hums and says, "I do."

"What's he like?" You ask your fellow maid. You had never laid eyes on him or known what his apparent beauty consisted of.

Your friend stretches out on the futon next to you. "His hair is like snow; his eyes are like the sky; he's tall; and his presence commands attention wherever he goes," Miwa continues, her voice filled with admiration. "He carries himself with grace and confidence, as if he were born to rule.”

The description she gave honestly sounded like a yokai to you, with unnatural features like a shikigami; you wouldn't be surprised if a demon were roaming around the district.

"One day, I hope he calls for me." Miwa looks toward you.

"Why?" you ask honestly.

"If I can please him, he might make me his wife," she grins.

"You, and what experience?" You almost laughed. "You really think either of us could match the expertise of the ladies here?"

Miwa scrunches up her nose, slipping under the sheets of her futon, and says,

"I definitely couldn't, but some men like the inexperience, especially if they're looking for a wife."

You join her under the covers, looking towards the closed shutters and the dawn light seeping through the cracks.

“I don't think men look for wives in a place like this." You whisper, but are only met with the even breaths of Miwa’s sleep.

An abnormal shadow crosses the shutters—a mass of something that looks like legs creeping along. You can hear the shallow tapping of the thin feet every time they touch the wooden curtain. As the figure stops, you can just barely make out the edges of the thing, which are barely expanding, as if it were a breathing being. Though you know of no such creature that takes this shape.

But you decide you have no interest in it and instead turn your back on it and close your eyes for some sleep.

tag list:

@witchbybirth

#jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk smut #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru fanfic

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ask-de-writer · 3 months

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I would like to thank Delightfully

EAGER BINGE READER

@furislupus for READING and LIKING

DEE ½ DEMON, Parts 7 to 10 of 10

THE FISHERMAN'S LEG, Parts 1 to 11 of 20

Classical Fantasies, Almost Feudal Japan

#@furislupus#DEE 1/2 DEMON #Parts 7 to 10 of 10 #THE FISHERMAN'S LEG #Parts 1 to 11 of 20 #Classical Fantasies #Almost Feudal Japan #Written by De Writer

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hasarjunadoneanythingwrong · 1 year

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Amakusa is so funny to me. He’s 17. He’s been 17 for 60 years. He got really tan in a desert and it never went away. He’s legally related to kirei kotomine and this never becomes relevant. He’s from feudal japan. He’s catholic. He successfully started a rapture analogy. He keeps trying to do this again. He has a goth Assyrian elf girlfriend. He killed Dracula. It’s heavily implied he killed Zouken. He has beef with jeanne d’arc. he’s also the mentor of her child Santa alter self just because. He taught said child how to shoot energy beams like him. He takes child servants on field trips including such places as: Japanese hell. An alternate universe version of him is a satanist. He also has beef with a 3 week old homunculus. Almost every person who meets him agrees he’s the most shady person they’ve ever seen. He cosplays. He commits identity theft. He really does it all.

#do we have proof he doesn’t run the chaldea union tbh #one of the guys of all time tbh #my post

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ozzgin · 5 months

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Yandere! Yokai Harem x Reader (I)

This is probably my longest running dysfunctional daydream scenario, so I thought I'd share it here.

As stereotypical as it gets, you've fallen into an old well and found yourself in feudal Japan. Almost immediately, you're attacked by a yokai that calls you by a name you don't recognize. He insists you possess the soul of an ancient priest that would capture demons under a binding contract. Something isn't right, however, so your life is spared until further clues come to light. With two men unwillingly bound to you, you begin to uncover this mess as more 'collection pieces' show up. They might prefer you to their previous owner.

TW: violence, monsters

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Character Guidebook]

You vigorously cough out whatever grass you seemed to have bit into when you hit the ground. Was all this vegetation here just one moment ago? As you get up and dust your knees you're brought back into focus by the loud buzzing of insects. You look above and involuntarily squint your eyes. You didn't expect to see a full, bright sky.

"What the hell?" is all you can mutter.

You and your university friends had planned a quick trip to the neighboring Tokyo, just to visit some trending local cafes and shop around. You somehow wandered into the suburbs and found a very obvious path to a large shrine that was visible from the bottom of the stairs. Now, what's more stereotypical than finding a shrine, approaching it with shy steps, dangling the old rope of the bell and humbly clapping your hands together for a quick prayer that gives you a fake sense of meaningfulness? Then again, you love a good cliché. So you did just that, and then whipped out your phone to snap some artsy photos of the place. In your search for the perfect angle, you spotted a wooden structure among some pillars and zoomed in to realize it's an old well.

Here's where you awkwardly tiptoed away from your friends. You couldn't possibly confess to them that you're one of those anime nerds, and that you immediately thought of a certain classic title, and that this could make a very good impromptu cosplay shoot. You could smell the nostalgia as you carefully swayed your way behind the pillars and under the shade of the tiled roof. You bent over carefully (apparently not carefully enough) to asses how deep the well was. Just as you were about to exclaim its shallowness, you felt the gravity pull you inwards. Within seconds your head made contact with the moist soil and you briefly blacked out as the rest of your body arrived in proper position.

Unpleasant, but you've had migraines worse than this. Though now you're wondering whether you might've damaged some important brain parts, given the sudden change of scenery. Or has your dysfunctional daydreaming finally caught up to you?

You laugh silently and test the walls around you, feeling for some contact point that you can use to pull yourself back out. You finally crawl out, but freeze with your elbows around the frame of the well, looking ahead.

There's no building around, just tall grass and what seems to be the beginning of a forest. You remember to blink, and each time you close your eyes you hope to see the shrine once again, to no avail.

"I thought I'm past the risk age for schizophrenia", you mumble in a humorous attempt. The situation is so absurd that you need to share it with an imaginary audience.

You muster up the courage to step out and onto the ground, with extra caution as if it could vanish at any moment. After brief consideration, you slap a bunch of weeds in front of you to test their consistency. The hard stems hurt your wrist and you nod. This is a little too intense to be just a hallucination.

Alright, so you got trapped in some sort of feudal anime remake. What now? You glance around, almost hoping to see some white haired man sleeping against a tree with an arrow stuck into the chest. You check your phone. No signal, but thankfully it still works. You have a battery and its charger, but the latter is probably useless. Unless this remake comes with electricity. You chuckle at the thought. Who knows, maybe it's one of those isekai otome games instead and some timeline inconsistency or loophole will provide you with an outlet.

After trying the well one last time without success, you decide to at least find another human being. Then you can get some grasp of your whereabouts and situation. You notice a patch of grass that's been bent to the ground, probably from frequent stomping. That's a start. You follow the hints of bipedal movement and hope for the best.

The improvised path slithers downhill and around the mass of trees, and you question whether the fields ahead might have traces of houses on them. You pick up your pace in anticipation.

A sharp swish of an unknown object causes you to flinch and halt, and before you can process it, a thin blade lays inches from your nose. You follow its length and find the source: a tall, horned (???) man with silver hair.

Ironically enough, he seems to be more shocked than you. His facial expression flips from focused anger to unbelievable confusion within seconds. His eyebrows are raised and his lips part.

"Ah!" you yell as the gears begin to turn. "Christ, you almost made me question my sanity!

Now let me tell you, this is some great cosplay. I was about to beg for my life. Hah! How the hell did you pull the whole transition? Is the well a tunnel? I hope I didn't accidentally break into some event."

The man returns his sword into its sheath, still in deep disbelief.

"You're not him, are you? But then again..."

"Huh? Him? I'm sorry, were you expecting someone? If you show me the way out I'll disappear in a moment." you turn around, prepared to be led to the exit. "Who're you cosplaying, anyways? I'm a big fan of historical dramas, but I don't recognize the character design."

"I don't understand what you're saying." the man tilts his head in utter surprise.

"Alright, I get the point" you force a laugh, slightly irritated by the persistence. "You're deep in your acting, I get that. Focus and all the jazz. But my friends are around the corner and I don't have signal, can you please skip the theatre and show me the exit?"

"The exit to...where? You're outside."

You sigh, loudly, and click your tongue. "Enough of this, please. Where's the shrine?"

"Ah, I get it. You're trying to confuse me." he pulls his sword back out. "I've had enough of your tricks. You're in an early stage, aren't you? Not strong enough to fight back. I can sense it."

Oh God, it's one of those maniacs, you think to yourself. You raise your arms as a peace offering and hope you won't be featured in the 5pm news with multiple stab wounds.

"Listen man, I really don't know what you're talking about. I'll leave quietly and won't bother you again, I promise."

You gulp and await a response, but the man's mouth opens and the words are replaced by a foreign, disembodied shriek. There's a rapidly approaching heavy shuffle that sounds like the trample of many limbs. You feel your leg being hooked into something and the ground turns around at a dizzying speed.

Something just grabbed you.

Given the movements of the lips, you're assuming that the mysterious cosplaying maniac is yelling something, but your ears are ringing and throbbing as the adrenalin begins to pump. You're being thrown around by something and you can feel the skin holding your leg together creaking and tearing with every jolt.

You manage to land your eyes on the creature. The teeth are unnaturally sharp and it seems to have many arms and legs arranged in a scattered order along the scaly body. It trashes around in such a fluid, dynamic way, that you doubt it could be the result of any machine. It's a living thing and currently attacking you for whatever reason.

Once the bizarre reality settles in, panic floods your body and you scream for help. If not the maniac, then some godly intervention. You did offer a small donation at the shrine, it has to count for something.

The spectacle doesn't last long, since the silver haired man doesn't hesitate to behead the creature. You can see that he wasn't making empty threats with his sword skills. You'd prefer, however, if you weren't the next one to go under his guillotine. Your body rolls over the dirt, limp from the shock.

You tilt yourself upwards pathetically and let out a groan once you attempt to use your leg to stand. You turn around and notice the aftermath of your little air ballet. There's a deep wound and thick, red blood is oozing out, scrambling to form a protective crust.

"You... really can't fight at all, can you? You weren't lying."

The man is now standing in front of you, the same amount of disbelief he had at the beginning.

"How the hell would I have fought that...that..." you choke and can feel tears forming in your eyes. "I don't understand what's happening. I just want to go back home. I don't know what's happening." you start sobbing and angrily rub your eyes, hoping to trigger some sort of way to wake up. But your eyelids burn and you feel awake. This was never a dream.

Your sudden meltdown startles the man and he awkwardly hovers his hands over you, unsure of how to handle this.

"Sorry, if I had known, I would've stopped it earlier. I genuinely thought you're..." he sighs. "I'm really sorry. You got hurt because of me."

"Can you please tell me where I am? I feel like I'm going crazy. It's year 202X and I was out with my friends and fell into a well. I've never seen a creature like that in my life. I somehow ended up here and I can't go back. Where the hell is this?"

"I... I don't understand what's happening either. I came here because I sensed he's back. I didn't expect to see... well... you."

You scan his face. His frown is sincere. Which, truth be told, is even less helpful. You're back to square 0, it's getting dark and your ankle is trashed.

You just want to sleep.

You stare at the ceiling, hands locked together over your chest. The improvised hay mattress isn't exactly comfortable, but it's certainly better than nothing. You sheepishly glance at the horned man. He's sitting by the window, idly looking outside with hooded eyes. He seems to be tired, too.

"Try to get some rest", he'd told you earlier. Easier said than done. After the monster attack, he carried you on his back until you found an abandoned hut. His way of apologizing for letting you get mauled. As you walked, he narrated his reasoning to you.

His name is Kiritsubo. When he was a child, a human dressed like an onmyouji took him in for training. Said to be the successor of Abe no Seimei himself, the man was feared throughout the country for his supernatural powers. Most of his strength, however, came from the collection of yokai he'd gathered to work for him. None of them had agreed to it, but no one knew how to break the bond subduing them. Eventually, the old man succumbed into his eternal slumber, yet the yokai were still not freed from the contract.

Some of them suggested he wasn't truly gone. Merely reincarnated. And today, he felt it for the first time. That's how he stumbled upon you. You appear to have part of his soul within you, whether you realize it or not. But if you truly have no knowledge of it, he doesn't have the heart to slaughter an innocent.

"What about the rest?" you blurt out, quietly.

Kiritsubo turns to you, mildly startled.

"What do you mean?"

"You said the man owned 12 legendary yokai. Are you the only one left?"

"No." He frowns. "They most likely know about you already. Let's try to send you back to your world tomorrow, because they will not be as forgiving."

A shiver runs across your spine. This one is scary enough already. You pray you'll be home before you can meet any other beast.

"This is where I found you, so the well shouldn't be far."

The silver haired man surveys the horizon and you limp forward.

"I'll check the area, since you can't walk much."

As soon as he says that, he vanishes. You're left with the heavy buzz of afternoon cicadas. You might as well do your own search. Keep yourself preoccupied. The idea of leaving this behind fills you with excitement and you find enough strength to push ahead.

A few minutes later, you hear a shuffle behind you. Could it be that Kiritsubo already found the well? Enthusiasm fills your chest and a burning heat spreads out. Although it speedily pools in your left shoulder, and you notice in horror that it wasn't enthusiasm taking over your body. A blade is sticking out of your shoulder, avoiding anything vital as some sort of mockery rather than omission.

"Found you."

The voice is deep and foreign. You barely manage to tilt your head and meet the glowing red eyes of a black haired man. Dark horns are twisting menacingly from his crown and his expression is that of pure wrath. As fresh blood drips down your chin, you wonder if this is the next yokai in line to seek his revenge.

How will you get out of this?

#female reader #yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #yandere yokai #yandere demon #yandere monster #monster x reader #yokai x reader #yandere oc #yandere original character #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #male yandere x reader #original work

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transdimensional-void · 10 months

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Japanese Language and World-building in Ascendance of a Bookworm

I decided to make this post because a conversation with @mesaprotector made me realize that readers experiencing Ascendance of a Bookworm in English (through Quof’s admittedly excellent translations) might not be aware of Kazuki-sensei’s extensive use of Japanese linguistic features in shaping the world and its characters.

Disclaimer: I don’t have any particular credentials that make me an expert in this area. All I can boast is good enough Japanese language skills to notice these features! But, if you’re interested in my explanation, read on...

About Japanese

Japanese is a language that allows people to easily express their relationship to others through their choice of words. This is likely rooted in Japan’s feudal past, when social roles were much more strictly defined and enforced. Some features that allow this are:

Masculine vs. Feminine Speech: Men and women can (and often still do) use completely different vocabulary as a form of gender expression.

Use of Different Titles: Most manga and anime fans are familiar with titles like -san and -sama used to refer to others politely. Not using a title for someone is also a way to express your perceived relationship to them.

Polite vs. Informal Speech: You use polite speech when speaking to people you perceive as being of a higher social ranking than you, or people you are not close enough to use informal speech with. There are varying levels of politeness. For example, “aru” is casual, “arimasu” is polite, and “gozaimasu” is ultra-super-polite.

Pronouns in Ascendance of a Bookworm

I (first person singular pronoun)

Commoner women, like Tuuli and Effa, use わたし(watashi, written in hiragana) to say I. Commoner men, like Gunther, use オレ(ore, written in katakana) to say I.

Noble women, like Florencia and Elvira, use わたくし(watakushi, written in hiragana) to say I. Noble men, like Damuel and Sylvester, use 私 (watashi, written in kanji) to say I.

There are some commoner women who exclusively use “watakushi,” like noble women do. Frieda does, and so do all of the gray shrine maidens in the temple. Similarly, the gray priests in the temple use “watashi” instead of “ore.”

Well-trained commoner men who are interacting with nobles (e.g. - Benno when he gets fancified) will switch to “watashi” as well.

Even after becoming a noble and referring to herself as “watakushi” when speaking, Myne still calls herself “watashi” in her inner monologue. This is not the case for other women who have been trained to use “watakushi” since birth, so it’s a sign that Myne's inner self is unchanged despite the new, noble veneer.

You (second person singular pronoun)

Commoner women almost never use any version of the pronoun “you.” Instead, they will call a person by their name, either with or without a title depending on their relationship to that person, or by a title only. Commoner men use おまえ(omae, written in hiragana) to say “you.”

Noble women also will usually refer to others by their name, though when they do use a pronoun, they use 貴方/貴女 (anata, either in masculine or feminine form depending on the gender of the person they are addressing, written in kanji). Noble men use 其方 (sonata, written in kanji) when speaking to people of equal or lower rank and 貴方/貴女 when speaking to those of a higher rank.

And then we have 君 (kimi, written in kanji), which I have only seen Ferdinand use, though I believe other men in the temple use it when referring to someone of a lower rank than they are (e.g., the former High Bishop Bezewanst uses it to refer to Myne in the anime, so I’m guessing he used it in the LN as well, though I have not read part 1 in Japanese). Ferdinand normally uses “anata” and “sonata” like any noble man--except when speaking to Rozemyne, who he calls “kimi.” It’s a regular reminder that their relationship began in the temple, not in noble society, and that he feels differently toward her than he does toward any other noble.

Titles in Ascendance of a Bookworm

No Title

This is used among commoners to indicate someone with whom the speaker has a close relationship. For example, Lutz just calls Myne “Myne” with no title attached. Among nobles, it is used when referring to someone of lower rank. For example, Sylvester calls Ferdinand just “Ferdinand” because he is his younger brother and a lower-ranking noble than Sylvester. Noble men will also use it to refer to those of equal rank, and retainers serving the same lord or lady use it regardless of rank to facilitate quick communication.

-san (-さん）

This title only gets used within commoner society. It indicates distance in relationship between the two people interacting as well as a desire to speak politely. For example, Myne calls Benno “Benno-san” until she becomes a noble. Afterward, she drops the title to indicate that he is of a lower rank than she is, except when they are in the hidden room together and she reverts to her commoner speech patterns.

-sama (-様）

This title is used by commoners when speaking to nobles. It is also used by nobles. Noble men use it when referring to someone of a higher rank than they are. Noble women use it when referring to someone of higher or equal rank to themselves, including their husbands. For example, Cornelius calls Rozemyne “Rozemyne-sama” when he is on the job as her retainer, but when they are speaking as siblings, he just calls her “Rozemyne” because she is his younger sister and therefore lower in the family hierarchy. Rozemyne and Hannelore always refer to one another as “Rozemyne-sama” and “Hannelore-sama” despite their close friendship and equal rank. Eglantine refers to Anastasius as “Anastasius-sama” both before and after they are married.

Family Titles

These are used among both commoners and nobles, though they use different ones. Myne refers to Gunther as 父さん (tou-san, written in a combo of kanji and hiragana) and Effa as 母さん (kaa-san, written in a combo of kanji and hiragana). Lutz refers to them as Gunther-ojisan (Uncle Gunther) and Effa-obasan (Aunt Effa). Myne and Tuuli refer to one another with their names only, no family titles required, indicating that commoners are more relaxed about the hierarchy among siblings.

In noble society, different titles are used by men and women. Noble men use the following:

Father = 父上 (chichi-ue, written in kanji) and Mother = 母上 (haha-ue, written in kanji)

Older Brother = 兄上 (ani-ue, written in kanji) and Older Sister = 姉上 (ane-ue, written in kanji)

Uncle = 叔父上 (oji-ue) and Aunt = 叔母上 (obaue)

Grandfather = お祖父上 (ojii-ue, written in a combo of hiragana and kanji) and Grandmother = お祖母上 (obaa-ue, written in a combo of hiragana and katakana)

Noble women use:

Father = お父様 (otou-sama, combo of hiragana and kanji) and Mother = お母様 (okaa-sama, hiragana and kanji)

Older Brother = お兄様 (onii-sama, hiragana and kanji) and Older Sister = お姉様 (onee-sama, hiragana and kanji)

Uncle = 叔父様 (oji-sama, kanji) and Aunt = 叔母様 (oba-sama, kanji)

Grandfather = お祖父様 (ojii-sama, hiragana and kanji) and Grandmother = お祖母様 (obaa-sama, hiragana and kanji).

Myne also uses yet another set of family titles to refer to her adoptive family! Sylvester is 養父様 (tou-sama, literally “adoptive father-sama,” written in kanji) and Florencia is 養母様 (kaa-sama, literally “adoptive mother-sama,” written in kanji). She also often calls her older brothers by their names with nii-sama attached, such as Wilfried-nii-sama, as opposed to just by onii-sama. This is probably to distinguish among her multiple older brothers.

Other Titles

A variety of other titles get used in place of calling people by their name or pronouns, both in commoner and noble society. For example, Mark exclusively refers to Benno as 旦那様 (danna-sama, kanji), a title that Lutz begins calling Benno as well once he begins working for him.

Myne refers to Ferdinand as 神官長 (shinkancho, “High Priest,” kanji) almost exclusively until she becomes a noble. Then she refers to him as Ferdinand-sama when they are outside the temple but still shinkancho when they are in the temple, up until he stops being the High Priest (;_;). She also usually drops the -sama when referring to him in her inner monologue, further indication that while she can walk the noble walk, she doesn’t really believe in the hierarchy.

Professors of the royal academy get called -sensei. Giebes, Aubs, and the Zent also get called by their titles sometimes in place of their names, sometimes in addition to their names.

Formal vs. Informal Registers in AoAB

I’m not going to list every single word that is different between different registers here because that would be way too long. However, I’ll give some examples.

Commoners generally speak in an informal register all the time, unless they have been trained to speak politely to people of higher-rank. They use contractions such as -って (-tte, written in hiragana) to mean “said,” and they also often drop the ends of sentences entirely. When they do use verbs, they use the simple dictionary form, e.g. - aru instead of arimasu. Male commoners will often use interjections such as “na” or “ze” or “zo,” which makes their speech sound manlier and rougher. They also tend to use “da” instead of “desu.”

Any commoner who has been trained to use polite language will tend to use the politest forms when speaking to nobles, e.g. - gozaimasu instead of arimasu.

Nobles in general will use politer forms of verbs except in very private, relaxed situations. For example, 参ります (mairimasu, kanji and hiragana) instead of 来る (kuru) or おっしゃる (ossharu, hiragana) instead of 言う (iu, kanji and hiragana).

Noble women have extremely restricted speech patterns. They always speak in the polite or politest registers. For example, a noble woman speaking to a social equal or inferior might use “arimasu,” but when speaking to a social superior, she will use “gozaimasu” or “irasshaimasu.” They also say えぇ(ee, hiragana) to say “yes” instead of the more familiar “hai.” Noble men will use あぁ (aa, hiragana) to say “yes.”

Noble men have a little more freedom in their forms of speech. Many will use informal masculine speech when speaking to social equals or inferiors while still using slightly different vocabulary choice. For example, Ferdinand often says 解せぬ (gesenu, kanji and hiragana) instead of 知らない (shiranai) to say “I don’t know.” They will switch to the polite (but not necessarily politest) forms when speaking to someone slightly above them in rank and reserve the politest forms for those very high above them. However, some men will choose to use polite language all the time, even when speaking to social inferiors.

This is especially notable in the speech patterns of Anastasius vs. Sigiswald. Anastasius chooses to use more stripped-down, rougher language when speaking to social inferiors, whereas Sigiswald still uses “anata” and -masu endings when speaking to social inferiors such as Adolphine and Rozemyne. It demonstrates a stark difference between the two princes’ personalities and how they wish to present themselves to the world.

Another notable use of informal vs. formal is when Myne is in a hidden room with someone who knows of her commoner past. She’ll revert to how she spoke as a commoner. My favorite instance of this is in Part 4 volume 8 when she and Ferdinand are in his hidden room just after she learned he is leaving. As she grows more and more emotional with her threats, she loses the ability to speak in noble speech patterns and starts speaking to him the same way she would Lutz or Tuuli (</3).

In Conclusion

I know this has been a very long post, but hopefully those who are as in love with Bookworm as I am will find it interesting and useful. Kazuki-sensei does a masterful job of exploiting the Japanese language’s unique features to make this world and its characters come alive, and it’s unfortunate that English lacks easy equivalents to allow us to appreciate these effects in translation. When reading the text in Japanese, as long as you know which characters are present and what situation they are in, you can almost always guess who is speaking just from their speech patterns.

In the English version, Quof will often insert a character’s name to let us know, and also will sometimes add clues such as “spoke in a very stiff manner” to replace the linguistic features lost in translation. I encourage those reading in English to keep their eyes peeled for these little insertions.

My hope is that the above can serve as a window into this aspect of world-building for some English-speaking readers!

#ascendance of a bookworm #bookworm #japanese language #long post

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baiwu-jinji · 2 months

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Dug up a very old paper I wrote almost 6 years ago titled "Tianyuan Feminism and Women in Contemporary China," putting it here if anyone's interested in reading this verbose thing:

Zhonghua tianyuan nüquan, which literally translates to “Chinese rural feminism,” is a term that became popular on the Chinese internet in recent years. It should be noted that the phrase nüquan, meaning “feminism,” is used ironically and negatively within the term, as the zhonghua tianyuan nüquan represents a set of beliefs contrary to feminist ideals. Also, zhonghua tianyuan, meaning “Chinese rural,” does not indicate the rural areas of China, but as is generally agreed by Internet users, refers to a breed of domestic dogs indigenous to China. Therefore, “Chinese rural” really signifies the indigeneity of the concept. The phrase tianyuan, which means “rural,” can also refer to an idyllic countryside far from the scenes of buzzling life, and its implication of utopian impracticality leads to some people’s interpretation of tianyuan as “empty talk with no practical results” (Du, “A Reinless Wild Horse in the Age of New Media”). For the sake of brevity, I will refer to zhonghua tianyuan nüquan as “tianyuan feminism” in my following analysis. I will discuss the meaning of tianyuan feminism, its indigeneity, the possible reasons for the rise of such phenomenon, and people’s usages of and responses to the term.

What is tianyuan feminism?

In a discussion board titled “what’s the definition of tianyuan feminism?” on Zhihu, one of the most popular online forums in China, a top comment that received over eight hundred likes defines tianyuan feminism as thus:

Tianyuan feminism is a freak born of the hybrid of the remnants of Chinese feudalism and Western consciousness of individual rights. These women have no idea what feminism is. They want the benefits of Western idea of equality, but neither are they willing to let go of traditional gender notions. This double standard is, in essence, a form of utilitarian selfishness and greed […] Only the unique social and cultural environment of China can give rise to such grotesque “feminists” who ask men to provide for the family like women in Japan and Korea do, but also try to get away with responsibilities by evoking the ideas of personal freedom and rights like women in Western societies[1].

While the commenter did not specify what responsibilities these women try to avoid, many of the male internet users who complain about their girlfriends or wives being “tianyuan feminists” list the shirking of economic responsibilities by the women as the primary problem. More specifically, women labeled “tianyuan feminists” would demand that their male partners pay for everything either on dates or within a marriage – which include the wedding, the house, the cars, and other daily expenses; they would push men to earn more in order to amply provide for themselves, and would chastise their male partners if they fail to do so. The underlying logic of such practice is that women are the weaker sex oppressed within the patriarchal system, therefore they should be compensated and taken care of, meaning that all responsibilities go to men. One of the main arguments used by tianyuan feminists is that women have done their essential part in marriage by giving birth to children; since they have made their main contribution through childbirth, men should take up all other responsibilities. One can see at a glance that tianyuan feminism is the opposite of what real feminism stands for: by shoving all economic responsibilities onto men, tianyuan feminists deny their own potential to excel professionally and achieve economic self-sufficiency, and by seeing their greatest value in giving birth to children, they objectify themselves and ignore their innate self-worth. It is not self-esteem, self-fulfillment, independence, or equality that they strive for, but material benefits and superior treatment from the other sex. Tianyuan feminists have internalized the idea of feminine inferiority, and instead of challenging the patriarchal system, they try to exploit it to their own advantage.

Tianyuan Feminism versus Feminism

The curious thing is perhaps that tianyuan feminism is associated with feminism at all. Unlike the principles of human rights and equality upon which feminism is built, tianyuan feminism devalues both men and women by objectifying and commodifying them, and as one commenter on Zhihu crudely but vividly describes tianyuan feminism: “the man keeps the woman like a pet, and the woman sees the man as an ATM machine” (Zhihu Journal: Women’s Rights Equals Human Rights 63).

However, tianyuan feminism is associated with feminism because, first of all, tianyuan feminists demand rights as feminists do, although they do so from the premise of accepting the patriarchal system and their gendered inferiority. While by definition tianyuan feminism is a form of “false feminism” or mockery of feminism, many Chinese internet users genuinely confuse tianyuan feminism with real feminism, and even consider tianyuan feminism to be a branch of feminism. This confusion leads to further stigmatization of feminism on the internet, adding the accusations toward tianyuan feminism such as “selfish,” “materialistic,” and “unreasonable” to the already proliferating vilifications of real feminism. It also reflects a trend of thought on the internet which conveniently attributes every objectionable behavior or mentality of women to the influence of feminism. As Chinese scholar Dong Jing notes in her article:

If women says things that are too ‘radical,’ it is at the instigation of feminism; if women ride roughshod over men, it is because of the ‘cancerous’ influence of feminism; and if women do not wish to apply themselves in work, and ask men for financial support instead, the fault is with feminism again, and such women are called ‘feminist sluts’ with double standard – it is as if women are led astray all because of feminism. (Dong, “Don’t Yell ‘Feminism is Cancer’ if You Don’t Understand Feminism”)

The confusion of tianyuan feminism with feminism stems from people’s limited and often biased understanding of feminism in China. Feminist ideas were introduced into China at the end of the nineteenth century, but as Li Yue observes, “Throughout the hundred years between its emergence and the present, feminist movement in China has always lacked theoretical explorations and guidance, and Western feminist movements have had very limited influence on feminist movement in China” (Li, “A Comparison of the Development of Western and Chinese Feminist Movements and Their Emergence”). The peripheral status of feminism in China means that issues and ideas associated with feminism have never received sufficient attention or clarification.

Feminism in China took roots during a series of social reform movements starting from the late nineteenth century, such as the Hundred Days’ Reform and May Fourth Movement, which introduced Western ideas of human rights, democracy and equality into China. During that time, women activists such as Tang Qunying and Qiu Jin actively participated in revolutionary movements and demanded political rights for women, while in the literary field, “protofeminist contestations of women’s identity” began to develop “in the writings of women like Zhang Ailing, Lu Yin, Shi Pingmei, and Ding Ling, who has been called ‘the founder of modern Chinese feminism’” (Schaffer and Song, “Unruly Spaces: Gender, Women’s Writing and Indigenous Feminism in China”). However, a fully-fledged women’s movement never took shape, either during the turbulent revolutionary times of the early twentieth century or in the following hundred years. Women like Tang Qunying and Qiu Jin were exceptions in a male-dominated political landscape, as much as is the case now in the Chinese political scene, where “no woman has ever ascended to the elite Politburo Standing Committee, the small cabinet that effectively runs the country in concert with the president,” and where “the pattern of under-representation ripples down through the entire political system” (Cunningham, “Good Girls Revolt: The Future of Feminism in China”).

Besides its peripherality, women’s movement in China never achieved independent status, but has always been seen in association with the larger social and political context. Xu Jiaqing and Li Xi comment on women’s liberation movement in China during the last century that “women’s liberation movement in China has always been led and guided by Chinese men, and is closely linked to China’s social revolutions and constructions. Men were the first to realize, on the social level, the oppression and abuse of women by the feudal tradition, and consequently put forward the slogan of ‘equality between men and women’” (Xu and Li, “Feminism in Chinese and Western Contexts”). The situation has not essentially changed in contemporary China. In their 2007 article “Unruly Spaces: Gender, Women’s Writing and Indigenous Feminism in China”, Kay Schaffer and Song Xianlin note that “the movement towards women’s equality is linked to China’s ‘carefully propagated self-image of socialist modernity at the heart of China’s drive for progress and sovereignty” (Schaffer and Song). If one visits the official website of All-China Women’s Federation (ACWF), the state sanctioned women’s rights organization, one can see that the front page is occupied by the slogan written in big red letters “Women Heroes Turn Their Hearts to the Communist Party, Making Contributions to Building the New Era.” Women’s liberation and enlightenment is linked to, and ultimately serves China’s economic progress and modernization, while women’s individual rights and self-fulfillment are attributed little importance.

The marginalization and virtually absence of women’s movement and feminist thinking obviously do not help the public to understand and sympathize with the feminist cause, and has contributed to the bizarre situation where, while terms such as nüquan zhuyi (the Chinese translation of “feminism”) and tianyuan feminism are freely and casually used, discussed, and debated on countless occasions across the internet, little action is taken in real life to promote the feminist cause or propagate women’s rights. “Feminism” as a concept seems to be emptied of its innards, or substance as it were, and cannot find a solid foothold in people’s lives or their intellectual understanding. Consequently, vague, misrepresented, or even libelous descriptions of the term “feminism” float around the internet, and become conflated with people’s criticisms of tianyuan feminism, creating a larger stigmatized image of nüquan zhuyi that is at once messy, confusing, and intimidating. As Wang Lan explains in her article “The Spread of Feminism in the New Media Environment:”

Due to the highly open and accessible nature of new media, the varied degrees of enlightenment of its users and the slow development of feminism at one time in our country, the state of unchecked spread of feminist ideas in recent years leads feminism in China to exhibit a ‘Year Zero temperament.’ Some women have rather biased misunderstandings of feminism, others try to avoid responsibilities in the name of feminism, giving rise to ‘tianyuan feminism’ which stresses personal rights but shuns obligations. Due to the spread of this erroneous ‘feminist’ thinking, many people developed an aversion to feminism even before they can get to know what feminism is truly like. (Wang, “The Spread of Feminism in the New Media Environment”)

While tianyuan feminism may have started out as ironic criticisms of beliefs and practices contrary to true feminist ideals, it has sometimes been subsumed under feminism due to people’s insufficient knowledge in and misunderstanding of both nüquan zhuyi and tianyuan feminism. Many internet users express the belief that nüquan zhuyi (or feminism), just like tianyuan feminism, possess the central tenet of exploiting men and serving women’s self-interest. This state of affairs is apparently detrimental to the development of feminism in China. As a commenter on Zhihu insightfully remarks, “considering that feminism in China has not yet taken shape, and that there aren’t so many feminists in China yet, to throw around labels such as tianyuan feminism and false feminism could strangle feminism in the cradle[2].”

Women’s condition in contemporary China

In this section I would like to explore the reasons that may have led to the rise of tianyuan feminism. While tianyuan feminists are characterized as materialistic and self-serving, one main reason for it is probably the financial and social insecurities that women in contemporary China face, as Schaffer and Song observe:

The market-driven reforms and Open Door policy have had more negative effects both materially and symbolically for women. The reforms offered men increased opportunities in education, employment and financial success. Women, however, had to face the dilemma of choosing between the demands of a career or a family. (Schaffer and Song, “Unruly Spaces: Gender, Women’s Writing and Indigenous Feminism in China”)

Workplaces are often more willing to employ men because women’s pregnancy delays work progress, and many women leave their jobs after giving birth, making them a destabilizing factor at the workplace. Besides workplace discrimination that makes it harder for women to find employment, women who give up jobs to take care of their children become financially dependent upon men.

Besides women’s financial insecurity, traditional gender discrimination against women accentuates their social insecurity. The traditional saying “a daughter that is married off is like spilled water” accurately reflects the mentality of many Chinese families who see a married woman as belonging to and subsumed under her husband’s family and dependent upon her husband, and is no longer part of her original family. This means that it is harder for women than men to gain financial and emotional support both from her parents and from her in-laws.

The economic and social vulnerability of women contributes to some women’s desperate determination to seek financial security and guarantees of material comfort from the most convenient and apparent source – their male partners (a defining trait of tianyuan feminists). While women’s financial and social independence is another route, it is not necessarily encouraged by society. After women’s liberation in the early twentieth century and the “iron-girls” of Maoist era who actively participated in socialist constructions, the present market economy, where “the collusion between capital, patriarchy and state is hardly rare” (Song, “Is Chinese Feminist Thoughts Abducted by Western Theories?”), sees a return of women to the traditional gender role of wife, mother, and beautiful object. According to Tania Angeloff and Marylène Lieber,

The move from a planned to a market economy had significant consequences on the evolution of inequalities between the sexes. While the Maoist state (1949-1976) sought – at least in official discourse and employment policy – to eradicate inequalities between men and women and their adherence to pre-communist traditions, the reform and opening policies adopted in the late 1970s were largely built on the traditional representations of women’s role in the family and in society. (Angeloff and Lieber, “Equality, Did You Say? Chinese Feminism After 30 Years of Reforms”)

All-China Women’s Federation (ACWF), which voices the state’s view on women’s rights, also tilts the public opinion toward seeing women in their traditional role – that is, within the family. An article published on the ACWF website on October 29, 2018 quotes president Xi Jinping saying “we should stress women’s unique role in promoting China’s traditional familial virtues” and “women around the country should voluntarily shoulder the responsibilities of taking care of elderly family members and educating children, as well as upholding familial virtues[3];” another article on the website, published on November 13, 2018 titled “Shao Yanlin’s Family: Good Wife Setting Positive Example by Looking After Sick Father-in-law” details the life of Shao Yanlin, who takes care of her father-in-law with laryngeal cancer, and is rewarded the title of “the good wife of Gu-lu-ben-jin Village[4].”

The aforementioned workplace discrimination and women’s internalized perception of their dependent status and essential role as wife and mother is reflected in a national survey conducted in 2010:

The Third Survey of Women’s Social Status in China in 2010 shows that almost 62% men and 55% women believe that “men belong to the public life, while women belong to the family,” with the percentages rising 7.7 and 4.4 percent compared to 2000; at the same time, wage gap is broadening. In urban areas, the average yearly income of women is only 67.3% of that of men, and the percentage is 56% in rural areas, with the percentages dropping 10.2% and 23% compared to 1990. (Liu, “‘Crazy Women:’ From Version 1.0 to 2.0”)

It is not only the governmental opinion that leads to a regressive view of women’s place in society, but the popular media as well. As Liu Jin argues,

From the images incessantly constructed by the media of women as traditional good wives and good mothers or modern ladies valued for their pretty faces, we can smell the rotten and outdated values and gender notions that should have been eliminated. Media’s portrayal of women unconsciously influences its audience’s (including female audience’s) perception of women: that women are meant to do housework and sacrifice their careers for family, and that it is in their nature to bear and raise children. This prevalent view, attitude or prejudice means that men keep their dominant social position and women’s status is weakened. (Liu, “The Construction and Subversion of Popular Internet Term ‘Straight Man Cancer’”)

The media and the consumerist market not only promote the idea of women’s retreat into traditional family roles and female objectification, but also harmfully encourage women to seek self-value in material possessions and self-objectification. Advertisements and promotional texts from companies that sell luxury and fashion products are often identified by internet users as sources of information that foster a tianyuan feminist mentality. These advertisements and texts tell women that they deserve to treat themselves better, that the products they buy reflect their own beauty and sophistication. In this way, women are encouraged to over spend, and consequently often turn to their boyfriends or husbands for money.

We can see that in contemporary China, women are still beset with gender inequalities, economic and social disadvantages and pernicious and outdated gender notions. While these factors should not justify tianyuan feminism, they do contribute to its emergence as a social phenomenon.

Usages of and Reactions to Tianyuan Feminism

I have discussed how tianyuan feminism can be mistaken as one kind of feminism by some internet users who have misunderstandings about the subject, and can serve to further stigmatize feminism. On the other hand, more enlightened internet users have tried to clarify the difference, in fact the clear opposition between tianyuan feminism and feminism, and explain that feminism does not stand for gender superiority or women’s exploitation of men, but can actually help create a win-win situation for both sexes where there is shared responsibility and mutual respect, and neither sex need to suffer gender stereotypes and their accompanying social expectations.

Due to the fact that tianyuan feminism is a popular internet term with no traceable origin and no authoritative definition, and have passed through the hands of countless internet users, it is by nature sensational and ambiguous, and have picked up a complex host of connotations, implications and associations along the way. From Du Yunfei’s definition of tianyuan feminism in his article on tianyuan feminism, one can glimpse the confusing assortment of conceptions that tianyuan feminism has come to represent:

The group identified as tianyuan feminists on media platforms usually exhibit the following immoderate qualities: firstly, they detest men and patriarchal power, and when discussing topics of gender inequality, they aim their criticisms at men under all circumstances; secondly, they want to enjoy personal rights without undertaking obligations, and consider themselves to naturally possess moral high ground in society, at work, in the family and in relationships between the two sexes due to their biological inferiority; thirdly, they hate traditional gender roles, especially those that demand self-sacrifice for the sake of marriage or family, and they disapprove docile, beautiful and family-oriented women who are perfect in the traditional sense; fourthly, they have extremist attitudes and give radical speeches, and overexaggerate the unfavorable conditions in which Chinese women live.” (Du, “A Reinless Wild Horse in the Age of New Media”)

The four definitions put together can hardly describe one single type of woman: while the woman of the second definition is passive and dependent, the woman described in the other three definitions is angry, extreme and men-hating. We can see that besides being used to refer to women who believe they have every right to leech off the patriarchal system, tianyuan feminism has also come to represent extreme and men-hating speech and behavior. On other occasions, tianyuan feminism has been used as a generic insult to women with feminist tendencies, or even used to demonize feminism. For example, some internet users believe that tianyuan feminism is feminism in its extreme and irrational form that aim to exterminate all men and establish a matriarchal society. Other times, tianyuan feminism is linked with issues of race and sexuality: some see Chinese women who prefer wealthy white men to Asian men as tianyuan feminists; others claim that tianyuan feminists have a particular hatred for straight men but leave gay men alone. When browsing the internet, it is easy to get lost among the endless arguments, assertions and heated discussions, which, nevertheless, reminds one of the connotation of the phrase tianyuan mentioned at the beginning of this paper: “empty talk with no practical results.” The enthusiastic debates about tianyuan feminism and feminism online forms an ironic and stark contrast to the silence and inaction regarding the issues of women’s rights and social conditions in real life. While discussions about feminism on the internet can help raise awareness on the subject, Chinese women and the Chinese society have a long way to go in defending women’s rights and fostering the ideas of gender equality, self-respect and self-worth in women.

[1] See Zhihu discussion board (https://www.zhihu.com/question/266449349/answer/439864556).

[2] See Zhihu discussion board (https://www.zhihu.com/question/266449349/answer/439864556).

[3] See online article (http://www.women.org.cn/art/2018/10/29/art_19_158955.html).

[4] See online article (http://www.women.org.cn/art/2018/11/13/art_19_159188.html).

29 notes · View notes