#BUT ANYWAYS im losing my mind here have this i cant look at it anymore

[lonaami]

for your sake all my heart is bruised: a trigun stampede fanmix for a love which never ceases and an unending crusade to save one who is lost

longing - matteo myderwyk // speak to me - amy lee // geyser - mitski // la parfum de fleurs - ensemble FOVE & taku matsushiba // beautiful undone - laura doggett // love comes home - les friction // i love you - riopy // your world will fail - les friction // un amour impossible - joshua kyan aalampour // restraint - florence + the machine // big god - florence + the machine // stalker - iamx, kat von d // morceaux de fantaisie, op. 3:1. elegie - sergei rachmaninoff, sheku kanneh-mason, isata kanneh-mason // i come with knives - iamx // indoctrination - alter bridge // screaming silence - luca d'alberto

#trigun stampede #tristamp #. #.. #... #.... #uh #idk how to tag this lmao #for me i'll tag it #music #BUT ANYWAYS im losing my mind here have this i cant look at it anymore #i might go back and mess with the playlist when the new episode comes out #PLEASE dont look at my music choices i will CRY #pls listen in order it kinda tells of a spiraling mindset knives goes through with vash defying him all the time #cuz knives knows best ya know #(jk so not srs) #ANYWAYS IMMA POST THIS BEFORE I BACK OUT WAH

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’ve read through some of your old posts and I gotta say…I love me some angst. May I kindly, pretty please with a plastic cherry on top, ask for TADC gang with an S/O who abstracted a while back, but then they ‘respawn’ one day with a glitch affect about them, and their memory was totally wiped? Like it was their first day in the digital world? The glitch affect doesn’t hurt them or anyone like what happened to Ragetha and Pomni btw.

TADC cast x mended!reader

so funny story i was about to sit down and work on this about 4 hours ago but then my parents said they were going to watch the fnaf movie in the garage and i literally dropped everything and watched it so uh uh. the reason the grind stopped was because of fnaf movie and now im kinda tempted to pick up my fnaf fic again anyways! i did a similar post, here! jax and caines parts here will be short, really only focusing on the glitch aspect for them in this post, since the other half has already been written!

CAINE:

just got flashed with an image but you know that scene where the iron giant is trying to pick the boy up but hes like limp or something and the giant pulls back (ive never watched iron giant i just know this clip from a meme) i think it would be like that if he tried to poof your glitching away; but like. in an emotional way, if that makes sense. like its the same kind of carefulness and worry, i think... bonus if he does more damage than not

JAX:

honestly a little too scared to even touch you out of the deep seeded fear of getting all glitchy as well. like he knows it wont spread to him, but you know...

POMNI:

similar to jax i think she would instinctively avoid touching you even though she knows its fine... the whole hand thing making her overly cautious for future scenarios, you know? i think she would slip up and accidentally bring up something you and her did before you abstracted, or call you an endearing name before abruptly stopping herself and trailing off, sad stuff. grief makes her tear between wanting to find an exit faster and trying to make you remember/stay for you

RAGATHA:

poor girl :( i think she would genuinely try to make an effort to re/befriend you and try not to have her hopes too high for the two of you to get back together. if you hear about your past relationship and want to learn more about it, shell tell you what you want to know, but i doubt she would instantly start dating you again if you suggest the two of you trying to give the relationship a second shot... i think that would need some time

KINGER:

bro is gonna be going through it, first he loses his possible wife to abstraction and now he lost you.. got you back, but you dont remember anything. on top of that you look.. off.. sure it doesnt hurt you but it still looks like it would be uncomfortable, even if it isnt

stuck between longing to rekindle your old relationship and letting you go in order to allow himself to process this grief; the third option is potential abstraction for himself

ZOOBLE:

tries not to care. they want to forget everything like you did, they were finally starting to be normal after your abstraction. but now your back in a clean slate, mind wiped and memories gone. how does someone cope with that? as much as it hurts them they think it would be best for them to pretend you were a stranger again

GANGLE:

saying it again, poor girl. mix of pomni and ragatha here i think, like she keeps messing up and verbally reminiscing before realizing you cant relate to what shes saying anymore. will tell you anything you want to know about the past, but i think it would take a lot longer for her to consider getting with you again than ragatha. for both its kind of a "i dont want them to feel obligated to try because we were together once" type deal

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #jax x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

[dwarfsized]

things that i would like to know about my fellow writers!

tagged by @aevallare thank you my looovveee

i will tag @simon-says-nothing and @raccooncrimes!

Last book I read: 

i am stalled on The Witch King by Martha Wells, not because it isnt good but just because. lmao. If im reading, i cant be writing. or sewing. or or or. The last one I remember finishing was This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone, and i loved that.

Greatest literary inspiration: 

I put part of a Mary Oliver poem on my graduation cap. Also genuinely quite inspired by Tamsyn Muir.

Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write:

I dont know if I'd ever try my hand at a modern au but i adore aevallare's pour one out.

I certainly wont write no-magic or all-human aus (I like tieflings a normal amount, she says, lying) but I'm sure someone could do something cool with those.

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: 

:') i already think this about my work but i write it anyway. who wants to read astarion stuck in a druid grove when he's [redacted]?? well, i do, so now we have eldath's mercy.

i am working on a story rn where kira is a ghost haunting the szarr palace. do i think very many people will be interested in that? i dont know! but I want to write it, and at least one other person probably wants to read it, so. eventually, it will go up onto ao3.

id love to do something with a focus on minthara. she's going to matter in true colors but that's not going to happen for a while. for now i rotate her in my brain.

You can recognize my writing by:

7000 word chapters where fully half the words are the characters thinking sooo hard, mid-chapter pov shifts, asides about tiefling/druid culture that i've made up whole-cloth, tail mentions.

My most controversial take (current fandom):

if you mod anyone in the game to look younger/more conventionally attractive i am putting you in the oubliette in my mind-palace. why cant you like these characters as they are. i thought we enjoyed this game

if you mod gortash clean or mod away a character's scars, i am putting you in the oubliette inside of the oubliette in my mind-palace.

Current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut):

2 babeyyyy, but if i could instead shelve all the current wips and start wip #15 id be at an 8. alas! i cannot do this.

Top three favourite tropes:

in no particular order:

when a character's specific past experiences lead them to a wrong conclusion that is soooo wrong but like, ohhh sweetie. of course you think that.

magic that has a cost, even divine magic, and cannot fix everything

you were not selected for this. anyone could have been the person in this position. but you are here now, and you have to do the task. get to it.

are these even tropes? do i know what tropes are anymore. help

Share a random frustration:

I USUALLY AVERAGE 700 WRITING WORDS A DAY BUT IVE BEEN EDITING ELDATH'S MERCY CH 2 FOR ALL OF APRIL AND IT HAS BROUGHT MY AVERAGE WORD COUNT DOWN TO 26. 26 WORDS A DAY. BITING. BITING AND YELLING.

#tag game #thank you alex now i return to documence for real #all i want to do is write the regency au now but. em ch 2. i need that out. i want it done. please. crying. #leetlewrites

[jeanownsme]

COCKWARMING WITH NAMJOON (nsfw)

a/n~ hii everyone this is my first time writing on this acc, i write multi fandom fics so there will be stuff about (anime, kdramas, kpop groups..etc) anyways LETS GET STARTED. also i spent sm time writing this i hope it gets a lot of hearts ☠️☠️

WARNINGS- cockwarming, teasing, unprotected “sex” (no one gets pregnant, wrap yo willy), begging,dom!sub! relationship, degrading, mean!joonie, sadism, crying, etc LMAOO

punishment

you whined and ground your hips against your boyfriends lap, begging for more friction. your hands squeezing his pants.

“joon please move, i cant take it anymore. i want it so bad. fuckkkk please” it was hot, the room felt hot. surely he couldnt be that upset with you teasing him when you guys were hanging out with his friends. after all, all you did was run your foot over his bulge at the dinner table and text him things you wanted him to do to you… okay maybe you did go overboard, just a tad.

“ah ah. you dont have a say in this remember ? this is your punishment for teasing me like a little slut in front of my friends. take what i give you yeah ?” he whispered in your ear, hand pulling your hair back giving you a sharp thrust making you almost cum right there. you were sensitive, he had you sitting on his dick for 20 minutes yet it felt like 2 years.

“im sorry baby please, ah-. move… ive had enough please im sorry.” stray tears running down your face, his fingers wipe your tears away and then run over your puffy lips. entering your mouth he pushes down on your tongue making you gag, you could almost feel the smirk he has on his face.

“stay fucking still, then maybe i’ll give you what you want” you try to grind on him once again, but he removes his hand to grip your waist and keep you still. you turn your head to look at him, he has a straight face but you could see the lust in his eyes. how could he not be phased by this, how is he fighting the urge to take you right here ?

your pussy was dripping, and you knew he could feel it, his hand gently massages your boobs. it trails down and gives a light squeeze to your waist and then makes its way to your clit, he gives it a light tap and laughs when you jolt. you were so sensitive for him, every time he touches you or moves inside you. it drives you closer to losing your mind because you knew that he liked playing with you like this.. teasing you.

“lets focus on the movie princess” he smiles, giving you a light tap on the face and turns your head around to look at the film. you sigh, what a little prick.

#bts #btssmut #smut #rm #rap monster #kim namjoon #namjoon x reader #namjoon smut #mean!namjoon #fiction #fanfiction #btsreactions

[divorcingjimmatthews]

pas de deux reactions (shorter than last time i swear)

elgin fucking hero???? the fucking guts???????? this van ride is giving me a heart attack

ive seen the promo pics i know theyll get in but im here like what if they dont open the doors for them in time?? or at all? i havent seen elgin in the promo pics oh my god. but hes so new theyre not killing him here. right. right??????

oh thank god

shit dale really did do ellis good like oh my god the poor dude

he better not die i dont want him to die and he might and im so hurt and anxious rn

did yall know kristi's acress is actually a medical professional? apparently they hired her before they even knew that

anyway back to the angsting

im gonna die

i cant look i cant look i cant look

the blood oh my god

boyd is so good at pretending like hes not dying inside to comfort fatima and ellis like i get that he screwed up big time with the sara secret but man what this dude has done for all these people at the cost of himself... :( boyd appreciation post

its so sad to see him ask for help and people not really believing him thoo like yeah he doesnt have proof and hes not used to asking for help so it comes off unnatural and like hes delusional but man thats #relatable af

NOT A BLOOD TRANSFUSION BOYDS BLOODS GOT THE FUCKING WORMS IN IT IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND 😭😭😭

also poor jim he's so commited to his experiment theory and people are starting to look at him weird for it but i'm so on his side jim you keep at it you're on to something! i believe in you

the way the pieces are all fitting together here oh boy

man i dont remember my blood type i guess this is how i die in fromville

boyd im sorry but it's a worms or death situation over here. unless someone else is O-negative

KENNY 👏👏👏

hes a big boy nowww and im so proud

damn i really didnt think boyds mental situation would get him to the point where he's risking his son's life?! if someone else got this bad after sara i thought that'd be jade. i tought boyd was too main character for this. im sorry boyd. i didn't see how bad you were doing i assumed you'd just be able to keep pushing through because you're you. i'm sorry boyd. i'm ashamed of myself. this deterioration happened before my eyes and i was like nahh he's okay

theyre stealing this mans blood at gunpoint

THEY CAN SEE THE WORMS???

maybe edgin is O-negative too my poor sweet not-good-with-blood heroic boy

KENNY?????

KKKKENNY???????????

"GIVE IT TO ME" THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING

THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING OH MY GOD

are these people gonna be passing the worms around like a hot potato like. could kenny theoretically... give it back after the transfusion's done??

boyd we're gonna need this fucking blood rn

BOYD?????

I DONT WANT YOUR IDEA BOYD

BOYD?????????

your son is dying boyd

no one can say anything about recklessness to my boy randall after this

he's gonna kill a creature somehow isnt he

fatima must be having 20 heart attacks per second rn

it's our dear smiley poster boyyyy

oh there's more creatures. i thought it was gonna be a 1 to 1 faceoff to echo the episode's title

im not even that sure that boyd is gonna survive this anymore

i mean he HAS to he's the main character but holy hell

im losing my mind

kenny watching through the window like what can you even do about that

hows he gonna get the blood at him like suck it from his hand and spit it or like what

why is he so confident that this is gonna work

i guess him being like this is what got them the talismans like if he didnt come across the talismans he wouldve been so dead in the forest back then and ellis wouldnve died too

but its like this place kind of hhmmm rewards whatever the fuck boyds doing? it seems to work out for him somehow. but martin was the same way and well.

THE SMILEY BITCH IS NOT BLEEDING

oh my good

ellis is dying while this is happening

boyd really said wait hold on a sec i need to rid myself of this blood curse real quick ill be right back

MY BLOOD IS YOUR BLOOD NOW MOTHERFUCKER

ngl watching someone go on the offensive is so cathartic but i can admit that if i was in that clinic i would be losing my mind and not okay with this at all

IT DIDNT WORK???????

OH IT DID

no fucking wayyyyy

the nightmare creature's friends just ignoring him dying like not even scared a little bit???? they just showed they can kill you bro come on. must be unable to feel fear or something

oh yeah okay they were gathering around him and not around boyd damnnnnnnnn i cant believe this is happening

theyre CONFUSED

Boyd really fucking did that oh my god

the monsters are such bad friends to each other they dont give a fuck

i dont do so good with blood either. elgin i get u bro

the padlock on the medicine cabinet ouchie ouchie

donna and ethan are an interaction i wasnt expecting but theyre neat-o

sorry that jade isn't in the episode guys. i borrowed him for giving him hugs and kisses. i'll give him back for the next one dw. yeah victor's here too i'm giving him chocolate chip cookies. they're ok don't worry for them. sara's in the other room having a milkshake i felt kinda bad for her yeah

ethan is asking the real questions

DONNA DHSJDHSJDHSH i love her

ethan 🥺🥺

ETHAN 😭😭😭

donna...

AW donna

THE HUG THE HUG THE HUG

Boyd youre not okay oh my god this man

oh fatima 🥺

OH SHIT

"We shouldve trusted you" no listen it worked out by fucking miracle okay

what an episode dammit

[sebbyisland]

mob psycho ep 9 + 10 + 11 live reaction here we go

i'm going to be annoying!!! because i'm excited and this is my treat to myself after a very hellish 3 weeks!!!

i just wanna say i love when the op is like "DISTORTION" and you hear here the guitar distortion aahgfdl;skj

this part reminds me of when all the dead characters from Gurren Lagann came back to cheer on the protag and the guy in the focus of the frame was the protag's older bro figure. cries. ugh shit like this is why i love Shonen T__T

ugh i wanna draw this so bad

OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIM STANDING WITH HIS LIL BOUQUET OHHHH THE BOY THE MOST BOY EVER AHHH

[yes i know what's about to happen im so. I'm so not okay]

UGH HE'S GROWN SO MUCH. THESE EYES ARE FILLED WITH KINDNESS AND LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP IM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND

CRYING. SHAKING. THROWING UP. TOSSING MY DEVICE OUT THE WINDOW. AHHSDHGFEHHREJWEWRHIGE: THE SCORE IN THIS SCENE IS SO SOMBER AND TRAGIC LIKE IT RLLY EMPHASIZES THE EMOTION MORE THAN THE ACTION OH MY GOD BECAUSE HE'S SAD!!!! MOB IS IN PAIN TERU IS IN PAINNN OHHHH

THIS WAS SUCH AN INTERESTING ART DIRECTION LIKE IT'S NOT CONFIRMED BY HEAVILY IMPLIED THAT TERU IS THAT STRAY dask FALLING FROM THE CLOUD OF IMPACT??????????? OH my god.

i really really really REALLY LOVE THE SOUNDTRACK FROM THIS EPISODE I DEF NEED TO FIND IT LATER! It does such a good job taking us through Teru's whole emotional journey ugh

YOU'RE DOING GREAT BBY IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!

also lol did anyone make "yeet" memes about when Teru got tossed like a ragdoll or are we too cool for yeet memes now

i knew bones would pull through but ahhhhh Mob gradually losing his human form has been really cool to see animated <3

the animation for this episode is so insane like if gurren lagann actually had a budget. sorry for constantly comparing to gurren lagann but like. pls if you are reading this PLEASE WATCH GURREN LAGANN I PROMISE IF U LIKE MOB PSYCHO 100 OR MY HERO ACADEMIA OR CHAINSAW OR ANY OTHER THING I SCREAM ABOUT ON THIS BLOG. YOU WILL LIKE GURREN LAGANN. anyways.

The performance in ep 10....absolutely stunning from every possible angle...down to everything..this episode..the pacing...the voicE ACTING UGH.....wow... WOW!!! AMAZING!!!! I'm probably really bias because i emotionally love this part in the story but haha yeah....yeahh i love ep 10.

Ritsu once again the only one with brain cells and puts together what's going on SO quick cause even though he doesn't "understand" his brother he knows his brother like no one else. i'm never not emo about Ritsu. i love Ristu and Mob's relationship. ugh ugh ugh

the opening to s3 is so wild i notice something new every time i watch it. love that. reminds me of s1 <3

OH IM SO GLAD THEY KEPT HIS EXPRESSION FROM THE MANGA HERE

aw i like the detail that Ritsu left his coat for Teru......

lol they censored the fact Kageyama's friend almost got totally stabbed through a vital point by replacing the rod with a flat surface

i cant fucking DO THIS ANYMORE

wow i don't even have the energy to liveblog this episode it's so amazing and gorgeous and creative and emotional it's everything everything everything

good night! time to see if i manage to brainstorm a decent fanart idea

also i just want to say i really love reading the animation breakdown analysis over here for each episode, it's been really funny and i highly recommend!

#mp100 #seb out

[daedalusdavinci]

(don't) ship ask: bruharvey

mybe other flavours of it as well

send me a ship and ill answer these questions depending on whether or not i ship it

based on the content of my blog i can understand why anyone might be under the impression that i actually cant fuckign stand bruharvey, and even think its the worst batman ship. so it may come as a surprise that i actually fucking love it

alksdfnsdf listen we ALL know. we all know. this blog is basically just a bruharv blog at this point i barely post anything else. there are so many different flavors of bruharv and im going to try and be coherent about this as much as possible. bear w me here

What made you ship it?

batman 1942 annual #14. EASY. it was one of the first 2f comics i ever read and one of the first COMICS i ever read. i was immediately obsessed with bruce and harveys friendship and the heartbreak of the whole story i LOVE a good divorced dynamic its just so. UGH. and the fact that in hush bruce states that part of the reason why he hesitates to pursue a relationship w selina is bc he doesnt want to lose her like harvey?? dark victory????? BTAS BRUHARV???? "sleep well my friend. wherever you are, whatever youve become, i will save you."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "good old bruce. hes never given up on me. hes always been my best friend."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO LOSE MY MIND OVER THEM!!!!!! sobbing crying screaming

from there it was just a quick descent into madness really

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

i rlly like the variation in the different dynamics and how it can be literally heartbreaking in so many different ways! i also just love that theyre FRIENDS, that they still love each other despite everything, just the. AUGH. bruharv is the blueprint, you already know, but like adding in matches puts a spin of it thats just so fucking. bittersweet and hard to look away from its like bracing for a hit but its so fucking good you have to love them. harvey knows its bruce, and knowing hes trying like this but being unable to acknowledge it, just taking whatever you can, its just. hh. and w 2f not knowing its bruce, just growing attached to this man who reminds him so much of the first man he ever really loved, who is able to see him as he is and acknowledge it and love him anyway, and not have to compromise any of that for him!! and KNOWING its bruce, knowing that the realization is going to hurt 2f and bruce wants so bad to help him and be close to him but cant ever risk getting close enough to let him find out!!! and twobruce is like. augh. ive already ranted about them ive already obsessed youll just have to go read that bc this is already too long slkdjfnsdkf. i just kNOW bruce is still so important to 2f i know he loves him i know it. twobats is just hatefucking w an undercurrent of extreme angst on bruces side and harvbat is peak unhealthy delusional angsty hatefucking i love them theyre deranged

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

2f is not a villain anymore than harv is they both have complex relationships w bruce and batman and morality and if you believe otherwise youre ableist <3 im not fucking joking. some of you really need to spend some time researching did bc you bought way too hard into the evil alter trope in a way that disturbs me deeply. get help.

also i think there should be more hatefucking and toxicity i love it when old men are bad people

#asks #im so fucking crazy abt them #lights of my life

[apieceofconsciousness]

oh my fucking god im 18 in a week

god i was about to write some sappy shit and it just it me and its over im no longer a child ever ever again after this and im crying im fucking sobbing its 2:29 in the morning and i have school tmrw and my jaw is shaking because i cant stop sobbing. this is the end. the final nail in the coffin of childhood. i cant do this im not ready please take me back im so sorry i know i wasnt a good person but also maybe i was 15 for fucks sake im so sorry ive hurt so many people and i cant take it back i cant even do mothers day right for gods sake my mom has to deal with me so much im so so so sorry mom i love you so much and i cant even show it properly god i cant do this i can barely do mondays god im losing myself im losing myself so much. ive been a wreck on legs for a decade and im getting slower i cant do this anymore i cant do anything properly by myself anymore i am so fucking bad at this i had so so so much more i wanted to do by the time i hit this for some reason magic number 18 and god im such a fucking failure. im so so so sorry. why am i so wrong. jackie has to put up with me my friends just deal with me i can see it when they instantly tune out they dont care anymore because ive been too high around them too many times they instantly think i have nothing useful to say or they just dont care and i get it i fucking get it i beg and beg and plead for change but i just cant do it its too much to handle and its too much to do and i cant handle it because im fucking useless. everyone around me is going to these universities and i feel like im losing myself even after having a plan. i dont know what to do. i has supposed to do more things than ive done and im so lazy and useless and shes going to leave me once shes had enough of my bullshit and no matter how much i care i can never show it properly never take the actions to do it properly. why is everyone else always doing it better, why do they seem more put together. i cant do this anymore. what wall am i behind that im missing just how horrible am i at everything god im so fucking bad at this. it took a very long time to understand just how deep the hate for myself goes. im battling myself. im so so tired. i need help and im still never going to ask for it in the way i need, that would be too much out of someone. i cant do this anymore, my body is tired, my mind is tired, i want to wither away. all of my desperate reaches to be noticed, to be a mark on the world is overwhelmed by not wanting to be a burden onto the people around me. i can barely show the right love back to the people who love me, the people who care about me. if im going to be worth nothing, then i shouldnt be taking up this space and time and become nothing. I WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT HERE. I TRIED TO END IT 5 TIMES BUT OUT OF PURE SPITE OF DEATH I REMAIN HERE. I LIVE. I LIVE!!! I LIVE AND I LOVE AND I BREATHE. I REMAIN HERE TO LOVE. PLEASE READ THIS. PLEASE REMEMBER ME. PLEASE ASK ME HOW IM DOING AND ASK AGAIN WHEN ITS OBVIOUSLY THE WRONG ANSWER. PLEASE ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM. IM SORRY I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE THE BEST PERSON OR FRIEND OR PARTNER OR SON BUT IM TRYING IM TRYING GODAMMIT WHAT IS THIS FOR IF NOT TO TRY AND TRY AND TRY. I REMEMBER BEING 12 AND THINKING I MIGHT NOT MAKE IT TO 18 BUT IM HERE I FUCKING MADE IT OH MY FUCKING GOD IT TOOK SO MUCH BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS AND IT MEANS FUCKING NOTHING BECAUSE THE TIME WOULDVE PASSED ANYWAYS BUT WE'RE HERE WE DID IT 15 YEAR OLD ME. DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN 18 WASNT EVEN A POSSIBILITY BESIDES IN PROMISES TO PEOPLE WE CANT EVEN TALK TO ANYMORE? IM FUCKING HERE AND IT SUCKS OH MY GOD IT SUCKS SO FUCKING BADLY BUT IM STILL HERE AFTER ALL OF IT. I CANT EVEN IMAGINE GOING THROUGH SHIT RN FOR 6 MONTHS BUT I LOOK BACK AND IVE BEEN SAYING THAT ABOUT SHIT FOR YEARS AND LOOK WE'VE BEEN STAYING MOVING FORWARD. ITS SO HARD TO CONTAIN IM SHAKING AND SOBBING MY EYES OUT BUT WE DID IT WE DID IT IM PROUD OF YOU I HATE YOU SO MUCH BUT WE MADE IT HERE. REMEMBER THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY. THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. BUT ITS HERE IN SPITE OF IT ALL

[smokerzgore]

1:34am : it hurts more over lapping them rather in new spots. but it feels really really good it makes my body tingle my hands get a bit hot . i think im over taking something before bed seems to stop working. it sucks though. i would take something ever night. id take them and my family would come in my room and see if i was asleep and im just there high out of my mind or my siblings would walk in and id be on discord or on the phone high. i went to bed on the phone with my friend high same with one of my cousins. It sucks and its sad seeing people in the world on drugs lose there minds just to feel some type of way. and for me to sit either on call or just by myself sucks. Its sad being on call with friends high and not fully gathering what they say because im high, it makes me feel horrible the next day or just anytime they mention somthing and idr bcuz i wasnt there. all bcuz i wanted to feel high. drugs really do fuck up life. but then again while i sit here and type, there the only thing making me feel nothing. i have friends. but even than, i want to be alone with myself.

i used to drive to this lake like 10mins from my house where if you park at the top of the hill and go a little more up an sit on the table you could see the whole entire lake, i would sit there for a hour before school. wake up at 6am get there by 620ish and just sit there till 15 mins before school, id sit there and tlk to myself. there was one day, and only one person knows this but since i use this now and honestly dc about shit anymore, i sat there and cried i skipped 2hours of school because i was sitting there talking myself into kms. i texted my parents tellin them how my day was going.... gave them crap, telling them i wasn't gonna be able to pick my siblings up bcuz i had some school project or extra credit to do. i texted my older brother telling him where my cat likes to sleep so he knows where to find him when he doesnt see him when he gets home from work. i texted my little sister telling her i wouldnt make it to her game the next day bcuz i was planning to go to school for some project and telling her to do her best bcuz if not ill be mad. i started sending my bf atm money from my bank so he could help himself more bcuz he bought me to much that i could ask for i told him that i hope his football team for the super bowl wins and to make sure he wears his jersey right this time.... i took pictures of where i was and saved them. i stopped sharing my locations with aaliyah. and i sat there. i sat there and sat there. i got up look over the hill and looked down. my heart dropped and i fell back and gave up. the thought of leaving ehat i had at the time was horrible. i didnt wanna go but something in me did. i collected myself got in the car cried more banged on my stirring wheel. fixed my face and went to school went home slept. that was that. i went on as i never did anything. i should have, truly. but hey ig it was worth? cause i mean look who i have. i seen a lot of ppl come and go. i did shi, i caused shit, i was the reason, but in the end im alone your alone everyone's alone. its nothing new and will never be fixed. in the end ur alone. no one can be there truly for you. you cant get into my head . you cant get my feelings, thoughts, pain, nothing. anyways. i said i didn want to take anything tbh but im tired asf so night.

[writingtomynanny]

Good evening nanny, its been quite a while since i came here to speak to you last. Im usually sitting at your grave, i visit you quite often which you know. You already know all im about to say, but unfortunately beautiful, me and cody have broken up. Its not what i wanted at all, but you always told me to put my mental health first and i just had too. My heart is broken, still till this day and were in January now. My heart is broken. I know its for the best and i know i need too, im healing myself and im working on myself, but it just hurts nanny. I always wanted it to be us. But too be honest, us wasnt really us without you. You made up so much of our bond and helped us. Losing you we just lost ourselves also. But you know nanny, i never wish him any ill or pain. I wish him nothing but the best, the healing he needs and all the love in the world that he deserves. He will forever have the biggest space in my heart, but we just cant be together. I know you understand, i know you know its for the best regardless of the pain im feeling, cant speak for him. I miss the life we all had together, the good times. The bad times were bad, but the good times were so good. I miss you so much, i think of you every single day. I got in a really dark place for a while there nan, I was crying every night, i was taking a few too many valium, crying on the floor while begging for you to be here. I went to bed quite out of it a few times, the days were hard but the nights were even harder. I would cry for hours, one time i reached out and called a work friend and just cried to her. I was a few valium deep and also took an antihistamine, i wasnt myself. I havent been taking valium since, i felt like i couldnt have a night without them for a bit there. Ive been holding in my tears lately also. I broke down every night and now i hold off as much as i can, I balled reading the last few posts to you though. Something you also know, my nana died also. She lived a good life, i got to see her the day before she passed. she looked so peaceful. Im buying a new car this week nanny! I have worked hard the last 5 months and now im going to buy a 20k car outright with money left over. I am working so hard and working on myself, i wish i could show you and drive you around in it, but i know youre watching over me and cheering for me in the clouds. I should be studying right now but i cant focus, i just needed to talk to you. Ive had a few dreams about you, the other night i heard you screaming and i ran so fast to you, knowing you werent here anymore but i still ran to you, my heart hurt. I also had bad dreams about cody, it hurts my heart thinking about him moving on but i also know he deserves love. I hope with whatever hes doing, hes happy. i was messaging his old facebook at the start to feel like it was still normal and that we hadnt broken up. But then i just couldnt anymore. I have to catch myself thinking about him and stop. It doesnt work because hes on my mind 24/7 I have him blocked on eveything because i cant see him, or risk seeing his name anywhere. He unblocked me on facebook and tiktok, i dont know why as he never reached out but i had to make the decision to block him as i was obssessing over the idea of him reaching out and he never did. So i had too. I dont even know what i want, i just know for now and the forseeable future its just me. I aint entertaining anything, im just doing me and i dont want anything anyway. I am woman enough to know im too hurt, im not healed and i need to sort out my trauma/trauma bonding and bad coping mechanisms before even thinking about talking or entertaining anything. Im just not the same nanny, Its me time! Im going to wrap this up anyway beautiful. Sorry it was full of random shit about me and cody. Its good to come back too and see how i felt at one point in time though, Ill see you soon beautiful, you know i always pop down to your grave, sometimes multiple times a week./

I love you nanny, YNWA

[tigerdrop]

in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that

ta-dah

ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11

so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)

basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out

now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME

he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)

the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"

(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)

vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping

jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off

and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away

and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try

(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise

and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him

unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey

now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.

and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.

(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind

so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)

but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this

lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play

but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later

and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not

i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic

it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)

it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.

and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"

and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"

normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff

its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!

i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?

well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro

anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)

“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion

and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so  hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head

gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is

and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair

so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.

and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).

benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog.  he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is

benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful

so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried

point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best

benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.

he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words

hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus

benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher

he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.

gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!

but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.

anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.

for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.

and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.

gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.

the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!

gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.

benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth

and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—

and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.

then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.

once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself

he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.

“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”

“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”

and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—

except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—

and—

oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.

then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”

“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”

“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”

“im not a bad dog!”

“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”

(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)

#this is so far from finished b/c A) im a coward now and B) typing qith my left hand sucks so i dont wanna do it right now. Sorry #writin stuff

[injaysotherworld]

I’ll Write My Poetry Inside You

jay x fem reader

a distressed writer who lost his interest in what he should love to do. until he decides to take his writing into an area he never went into: raunchy. how will he start to write something like that? finding his muse. 

*there will be some minor smut later on and drinking parts*

INTRO

“what the fuck jay, you haven’t started writing the first chapter yet?” jake says to a half dozed off jay and this isn’t the first time. 

“you know my particular writing can take time” jay says, which also isn't the first time he made that excuse. 

“then fuck jay write something different, something that will make you want to keep on going” 

something to keep him going. he doesn't know what that is anymore. jay loved to write all his life and when he took the risk of dropping his family business to write a book, it was a pretty big commitment. a commitment that was worth it because now he has several best selling books. so what made him lose that love? he doesn’t even know that himself but he just can't seem to get anything he likes written down. 

“so you got any ideas of what i should write jake?” that was a half joke because he knows jake isn't a writer and just his good friend who helps him keep on schedule. 

“actually I kind of do but I know what you will say” he looks at jay like he's up to something. 

“shoot” 

“it’s really popular these days because the world became more horny or something” 

“jake you can't be saying”

“raunchy” 

he said it. 

The Start

 jay thought about it, writing a raunchy book. he has read those books before so he can see how they can please people. He just doesn’t know how writers come up with stuff like that. so he starts researching.

 “Just write a fantasy about someone you like it’s easy to imagine those thoughts if you have someone in mind you’d want to do that with.” he thought that was great advice from the internet. the only issue is that he doesn’t have anyone he likes right now. maybe he should get laid. 

 Few days later 

 jay is at the bar with jake and he tells him of his idea. 

 “Yeah man I think you should get laid too, you haven’t in forever.” that is a true statement made by jake but it isn’t nice to hear either.

 “I’ll think of it as helping me write my book” jake laughs at that comment and gets them another drink.

 “To you getting laid” 

 it’s been about an hour at the bar and Jay is not getting laid but jay is getting hammered. jake is gone by now, doing what jay should be doing, and jay is now dozing off in his seat.

 “Are you alright?” a girl asks him laying her hand on his back.

 “Jake? You sound like a girl” and whoever said that laughs, quite nicely too.

 “Well I’m not Jake but I do sound like a girl don’t I?” jay finally looks up to who’s speaking to him and it is in fact a girl who is dressed too nicely for a bar.

 “Oh I’m sorry miss, my friend left me” she doesn’t say anything at first and just looks at him. She looks like she does this a lot to people who clearly need some help.

 “you look like you need to go home, do you need a ride?” 

 “You trust me already?” 

 “Is there a reason not to?” her personality already intrigues Jay. She seems very.... put together?

 “I have a camera in my car and pepper spray ready to help me if anything happens anyway but you seem fine but the looks of it”

 “I look good?” He wants to tease her any minute he gets.

 “I have to admit you do sir but you already know that clearly” 

 “Sir? Am I old?”

 “I just don’t know your name”

 “It’s Jay, Jay Park”

 “Nice to meet you Jay Park I’m Y/N” maybe she could help him.

 “I need you to help me write a book”

Y/N looks confused but then laughs. 

“You write books when you're drunk?” 

“Not just when I am drunk, I am in fact a writer and you are the perfect person to help me”

“Well I can't help you with that right now” she seems to be having fun with this. 

“Here let me take you home first then we can get started on that book”

and so she helps him to her car and drives off. 

when she arrives to his place she notices how huge his house is. so he actually is a good writer. but this good writer is now passed out in her car and she can't move him.

“Jay” she starts off by calling his name, that sometimes will do the trick. except it doesn't. 

“Mr. Park?” 

finally she has the idea of making her car go off. with the loud beeping jay does wake up, kind of. she goes over to check on him and it looks like he dozed off again and she was about to go and turn on her car again when he grabs her arm. 

“Oh Jay you're up, I was just trying to get you to-”

“Shh you said you would help me with my book” 

“Oh yes, we can go into your house and do that but-”

“We can do it here”

“I don't think this is the place to write a book?”

“You don't know what type of book im writing now do you?”

Y/N is really confused now and she forgot that she is still almost on top of him because of him pulling her in the car. and she was about to get off but he keeps his arm around her waist. 

“Jay-”

“Cant you still help me?” he lifts her up just a little for her to look down and notice that he is half hard. 

“How is this helping with your book?” she innocently asks

“I need some inspiration”

so thats the type of book he is writing. y/n didn't expect him to be writing such stuff like that but it intrigues her. 

“But you still think this is the right place? We are right in front of your house-”

and that’s when jay gets up so he can put y/n on the car seat and shut the door. 

“Such a place like this to have sex is far more interesting isn't it?”

this turns y/n on even more. to be honest what made y/n approach jay in the first place was because he was so attractive that she couldn't resist. now he's on top of her about to take off his shirt. 

“This may be uncomfortable in a car but you still look so sexy that I can't wait”

he takes off his shirt finally and god he's ripped. y/n wants to just touch his abs and when she's thinking that jay takes her hand and places it just where she wants. 

“You can touch all you want Y/N, I'm yours for tonight” 

#enhypen #enhypensmut #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen jay smut #enhypen jay angst #enhypen jay x reader #enhypen hard hours #smut

[angelthebedsheet]

Can you do a zuko x male reader or gender neutral. It could be about the reader witnessing the agni Kai and watching zuko get banished. The reader tries to go with zuko but zuko doesn’t want the reader to get hurt. Years later they meet at the boiling rock. You can take it from there. I love your writings and I’ll keep supporting you 💕

a/n: oooooh! thank you anonnie!! i appreciate your requests!!!

lets get it!

okay so you and zuko were TURTLEDUCK BUDDIES

attached to the hip basically

azula HATED how close you two were bc hello she’s right here???

i mean you and zuko trained together

fed ducks together

best buds

you knew you liked zuko alot but you didn’t understand?

like you started to get flustered around him

same with zuko

and azula was PLOTTING NOW

she doing a think rn with one of her BRILLIANT ideas 😐

“oh n/n! zuzu! come play a game with us!”

zuko’s flight or fight reflexes are triggered and he’s ready to DIP

but you r unfortunately intrigued

“oh okay ‘zula! cmon zu!”

cue azula’s smug lil grin

she puts an apple on your head and makes you stand in front of the fountain

you’re like ???? is this the game?

azula’s like it is n/n it’ll be fine

it was NOT fine

she damn near burnt you to a crisp if it wasnt for zuko tackling you into the fountain

now azula, ty lee and mai are LAUGHIN

but we all know mai lwk a lil jelly

you and zuko are embarrassed as fuck

you both are soaked and he’s hovering over you

mr zuzu looking real pretty

he just turns red and pulls you up before running away

zuko is like ???? boys are cute especially this one???

you two still remained close after this incident

two lil gays boys who are trying to not crush on e/o

(im sorry the only thing i can think about when i think of zuko is his gay ass lil scream in the prototype pilot episode)

(nigga said wwAHHH)

anyways

azula teased you about zuko speaking out against a general and their dad is angry and you’re like oh shit

suddenly you arent allowed to visit zuko anymore

and you’re like wtf no no let me in

the guards said no

you’re so paranoid too

is he okay?

what fully happened?

soon the agni kai is announced to happen

and you are seated next to iroh and azula

you’re clutching onto your pants as you watch zuko walk into the arena

you really dont want him to get hurt

your eyes widened as you watched zuko’s father walk into the arena and your heart drops

zuko is clearly surprised and frightened

tears are rolling down your cheeks bc you are so so so scared for him

iroh covers your eyes as he looks away when zuko got burned and you could feel your heart break as you listened to his cries of pain

you cried out as iroh pulled you into a hug

you and iroh immediately rushed to the infirmary to get to zuko

you push past those guards and nurses bc you are on a MISSION

aint nobody getting in your way like this bc you will STOMP they asses out

you are not leaving his side

“z-zu are you okay? can you hear me?”

“m-m/n? where are you? i cant see”

zuko is starting to panic due to the fact his left eye is patched close

you hold his hand “i’m right here zu. shh im here”

he’s so overwhelmed too poor baby

“u-uncle? w-where is he?”

“right here zuko.”

you help him sit up and he grabs a mirror immediately

he frowns at his reflection

“you’re still handsome zuko.” you said

iroh pretended to not see that blush that sat on zuko’s cheeks

“i-i’ve been banished, m/n.”

“what?”

“i’m banished from here. the only way i can come back is if i capture the avatar.”

“but he’s been gone for years zuko! let me come with you”

“no! it’ll be too dangerous”

“how? we trained together! grew up together? how is it too dangerous?”

“no m/n! i dont want to lose you!”

“you wont lose me zuko.”

“you dont know that. you arent coming with me.”

you and him went back and forth

after he shaved his hair and was about to board his boat you pulled him away

then you confessed right then and there

i mean you didnt know when you’ll see him again

“i like you zuko. more than a friend”

“what?”

“i like you.”

“are you for real? this isnt a joke right? like azula didn’t put you up to this?”

“no she didnt.”

“oh thank the spirits. i like you too.”

and yall have this lil awkward ass kiss

just a short lil peck?

i mean yall are 12/13 and two boys you think they gonna go all out tonguing niggas? lmao

you two hug before iroh calls him over

“i’ll wait for you zuko”

“i’ll try my best.”

and he’s gone

over the years zuko was gone he was so sad

“if i capture the avatar i can come back to the fire nation and m/n”

but clearly the whole LeMmE cAtCh tHe AvAtAr thing was dropped when he got that glow up

(neya said 🦋🦋🦋🦋 whenever they look at zuko cmon NOW.)

now they’re otw to boiling rock

“my first girlfriend turned into the moon.”

“that’s rough buddy.”

and sokka’s like you ever dated someone before?

zuko’s like..... two people?

“that knife throwing girl?”

“her and m/n. though we never got to date bc at the time i was literally banished. i miss him alot though.”

bi king ✨

“what if he’s at the boiling rock?”

“then i’ll find him.”

sokka’s like yes my man get your MANS

“okay so we look for my dad, suki and your husband”

“he’s not my husband sokka.”

“..... my dad, suki and your husband”

“omfg shut your trap.”

these pair of himbos finally get inside and are on a MISSION

sokka’s like heheheeh suki time

KAJDJAJDJJSKDJF

zuko’s hopeful that you’re here or at least alive

after sokka and suki have their lil reunion zuko wanders off and asks around

“do you have a prisoner by the name of m/n?”

“why do you ask, newbie?”

“uhhh the warden sent me to him.”

“oh. there.” pointing to a door

zuko has to CONTAIN the excitement and nods before speed walking off

he throws open that door so quickly

you on the other hand is ready to rumble “i TOLD YOU I DONT FUCKING HAVE IT”

zuko just closes the door behind him and takes off his helmet

you’re like hol up wait wait zuko????

and he nods with a big ol grin on his face

you just hug him so fucking tight

maybe there were some tears shed

you pick him up and twirl him around

zuko’s like holy SHIT

and you pull back to just look at him

“you’re still as handsome as i remember you, zu.”

“so are you, n/n...”

he’s just so awestruck

the person he has been looking forward to seeing for 3/4 years is right infront of him

yall just kiss

sokka now gotta pull a zuko and bang on that door

“yALL DOING THINGS IN THERE??? HURRY UP”

“shut UP sokka”

zuko puts his helmet back on and grabs your hand

yall finally dip and are otw tf outta there

“oh shit zuko he’s cute”

“back off”

“im happy with suki relax sir”

zuko is clingy and was hugging you the whole time

not that you minded bc you missed him dearly

when yall got back and he introduces you

the group minus toph is like “ZUKO’S GAY????”

toph is like “I FUCKING CALLED IT”

alls well

except for the fact zuko wouldnt let you go anywhere by yourself

#atla zuko #prince zuko #sokka would clown zuko 100% #zuko x reader #zuko x male reader #zuko x black reader #atla x black reader #atla x reader #avatar the last airbender x reader #avatar the last airbender

[m4rkiza]

pile of headcanons

bunch of raihan/leon headcanon nonsense from my twit*r

theres alot under the cut, warning : its cheesy, also, i headcanon raihan calling leon "bubu"

Raihan is really good at baking and leon is great at cooking savory & spicy food, raihan likes spicy food and leon likes baked goods, they complete each other

Leon so thick and firm he'd be so good to hug and raihan took advantage of that, holding his bubu until leon complains or whine, yknow when ur pet looks so cute and u hug them, like that

leon contacts name on raihans phone is like "♥💖my bubu♥💕", but raihans contact name on leons phone is "Raihan" with capital R

raihan complained about it, showed leons contact name on his phone, leon is surprised bc he thought his contact name on raihans phone is just "Leon" or "Lee"

then leon changes rai's contact name too "🥰raihoney💖

leon doesnt look like the guy who'd be extra on hair and skin treatment, the reason his hair and skin (especially his hair) is unbearably soft and shiny is bc raihan kept reminding him to do so (and buying it)

sometimes leon act spoiled so raihan will do an entire haircare for him

yes raihan do it bc he loves leon unconditionally and he thinks leon deserves it

raihan has a dirty mouth and uses every swear word but for some reasons, around leon all he can say is "jerk" "ugly" and "dumb"

raihan does that bc all he remember when hes with leon is pet names and how-to-coo-and-woo-your-boyfriend

raihan being leons moral compass feels fitting, not bc leon is dumb but bc leon himself is swallowed by his own title and got the hero complex, making him selfless and have a hard time to say no

raihan is there to "what the fuck are you thinking, dont do that baby, you'll die"

but leon seems stubborn yes? he wont listen if people just say "no", he'd ask the reason why, and if the said person doesnt give a clear answer, he leaves but raihan always tries to explain him in full description, short & long lasting damage, consequence etc

so obviously leon listens, and as time goes by, raihan is.. his moral compass, in a way

raihan playfully growls while squeezing leons body parts but its definitely not so playful in leons mind

raihan always ask leon to wear his freshly-washed-hoodie at sunday so when he go to work at monday, his hoodie will smell like leon

raihans laugh is like "aha haha haha *low volume wheeze* phew heehee" and leon got a laugh that can trigger an earthquake

Raihan sneeze like a kitten while leon sneeze like a buldozer

Leon muffles his laugh by hugging raihan so it wont surprise anyone around them

leon demanding affection from raihan by giving him stupid empty threats

leon : Kiss me or ill

raihan : u will what

leon : i-i will shrink your hoodie and make it mine

raihan : no, now come here bubu

In reality, leon doesnt need to do "things" to get raihans attention, raihan told him he can just ask or "just sit on my lap or tug my shirt and ill cuddle and kiss you till the next day", but leons ego is too high for that so he does stupid shit instead

raihan is very loved by leons family bc surprisingly hes able to stop leon and hop from fighting

if u ask how, raihan simply pick up leon up and walk away

aihan is the only guy who leon will listen too and got called as the "champion tamer"

but all raihan do is just

raihan : bubu, no

leon : no..?

raihan : leon. no

leon : no...

then nag him softly while explaining the consequences, sometimes short and long term effect it depends on the situation

leon is stubborn, so it took sometime to convince him that his plan or an action he almost took to partake is very impulsive or doesnt give a good result

the thing is leon is not stupid, infact hes quite brilliant, therefore its hard to convince him if a person who tries to stop him doesnt have a similiar mind like he is, but thankfully theres raihan

for some reasons raihan is able to found leon in any occasion so the league staff ALWAYS calls him whenever leons gone

league staff : mr rai-

raihan : is it leon

league staff : yes

raihan : im on my way

leon likes to ask raihan for hairbands bc he kept losing them

raihan : bubu, isnt this your third time asking for them this week

leon : ....yes..?

raihan spoiling leon bc he feels he wants to make up for him, bc he wasnt available near leon when fought eternatus

leon follows raihan everywhere in the winter and kept pressing himself to him, whenever raihan question whats wrong leon just looked him in the eye and "im warming you up"

leon is small by raihans perspective but he hugs leon tight anyway

raihan is possessive of leon hes THAT hot, charismatic yet very adorable, leon is the one who keeps his chin up and soothe his fears, and hes the champion, everyone wants the champion, u think he'll let go that easily? no, never

and leon is probably possessive too, raihan is a hot nerd, affectionate and gentle, hes the one who push him to his best, the one who also stops him for doing too much, hes his source of comfort and he wont let go and wont let anyone take his raihan away from him for sure

10 years of friendship and healthy rivalry means 10 years of being on each others live, being one of the biggest contributor and supporter for the other, who pushes to the limit yet stopping when one is too close to the edge of the cliff

no matter if its platonic or romantic, they wont let anyone take their rival, friend and lover away that easy, you wont let anyone try to take away one of the important and huge part of your life

raihan big, so hes the big spoon, he loves cooing right at leons ears and kissing the back of his neck, shoulders and sometimes reaches forward to press a sloppy wet kiss to leons cheek

leon crying to raihan when he founds out raihan smokes when hes stressed out, and begging the other to stop and talk to him instead or cope with healthier way

raihan doesnt need an alarm clock to wake him up, leons just need to grin and say "good morning!" its so bright it WILL wake him up

raihan and leon lives together and since then the outfit leon has on his wardrobe is a collection of formal tailored outfits and his battle tower outift, some booty shorts and work out clothing, and obviously underwear and socks.the rest he just stole from raihan

especially t-shirts, hoodies, and jacket, raihan seeing him walking and opening his wardrobe after shower is such a common occurence that he doesnt even need to ask anymore

raihan looks like the type who carries lipbalm and hand cream in his hoodie pocket, he carries 2, 1 cocoa lipbalm for him and honey lipbalm for leon. whenever he met leon, he applies the lip balm on him, it becomes habit that leon even raise his chin up for raihan

leon can sleep alone fine, but when he woke up he felt groggy,but if he slept on top of raihan he'd woke up like he had a perfect 8 hours sleep even tho he slept for only 5 hours

raihan is a heavy sleeper but waking up with leon glued to his chest/back make his whole day better,especially when he woke up to leon peppering his face with kisses to wake him up

raihan being lowkey flustered and overwhelmed by leons beauty/cuteness/sexiness/everything while leon is being clingy and acting spoiled around him

leon cant be serious around raihan, when he saw the gym leader,he automatically let his guard down infront of him, changing from champion leon to leon from postwick, all giddy and happy

leon unzips his champion outfit and once raihan heard the zipping sound he zooms to leon to plant his face between leons chest

if leon wants attention from raihan he will do various things from holding his arm and press his head to raihans shoulders,sitting on his lap and loop his arm around raihans neck,hugging him from the front and put on a cute face

but if raihan wants attention he just, hug leon from behind,put his head on leons shoulder and doesnt let go until leon does SOMETHING

leon has been taking care of others for so long,so when raihan takes care of him ,its a new,yet quite familiar feeling.

its hard to accept since he felt bad about receiving the attention,but raihan kept doing it until leon tend to act spoiled around him

raihan always kiss leons forehead before he sleeps,when raihan is away, he has the urge to videocall raihan so he can coo him to sleep,but hes too embarrassed to do it

he thought abt that and raihan suddenly videocalling him,its noon on the region he visited, and hes like "heeeey, i just want to say good night to my beloved!! good night leon,sweet dreams,sorry bc i cant kiss your forehead but ill kiss u 10x more when im back"

leon was shocked and stared to his camera "lee? fuck,is the connection that bad-" and leon stuttered "n-no! i was surprised...thank you darling, have fun and stay safe okay?"

"of course! dont stay up thinking abt me for too long,i love you so much bubu,good night!

"..good afternoon raihoney,i love you too" leon stayed up for the next 20 minutes rolling around the bed screaming

raihan actually helps leon on taking care of his dragons, which made leons dragonmons actingspoiled around raihan,and sometimes leon thinks that his dragons loves raihan more than him

raihan plays with his dragonmon as if hes playing with a yamper,calling them "cute little babywubby" and playing with their hands,kissing their foreheads and lays with them on the floor,and of course leon joins in by laying on top or next to raihan

even leon have seen raihan carrying his dragapult like a baby with a baby axew hugging his legs, raihan is legit a dragon pokemon magnet

raihan has a habit of cooing or complimenting at leon even when hes doing the simplest thing ever and leon feels giddy like a 5 y.o everytime raihan does it

can u imagine how many pictures of leon raihan have on his phone,its probably more than 1000, he takes picture of leon as if hes a baby pokemon

leon comes to raihans place at 2 am without any warning,i mean raihan DID gave him a spare key so, raihans flat is HIS flat too,and there he goes,going to the bedroom and slip himself under the duvet,crawling to sleep closer to raihan

at first raihan is SO surprised that he jumped from the bed,but now he doesnt care anymore and just kiss leons head,mumbles "goo'nite bubh" and sleep again

leon does it so often that if hes gone from his apartment,people call raihan instead of him

raihan hugging leon from the back while leon is doing stuff in the kitchen while singing,and raihan is there like,peppering smooches and compliments while leon is STILL singing,and giggling bc raihan is smooching him

raihan is BAD at it but he sings along with leon in a joking manner and leon cant even sing anymore bc hes just wheezing while raihan is just "cmOn bAbeEEe SING AgAiiiNNnn"

#raileon #kbdn #kibadan #truerivalshipping #raileon headcanon

[night-rhea]

Sometimes, its really hard to keep yourself motivated. I know many people can relate at this. Social media can be, cold sometimes. Because, we actually dont know what people think about us,do we? I mean, i mostly dont know. Especially here in tumblr, well i dont use any other platform either jhgfghjkl Sure i have few friends here ,which is im SO grateful, but in majority idk how people see me, or my oc's. I also dont know if thats normal or bad or good.

Why am i talking about that?? Well its because today im kind of emotional. Today is my first years anniversary in tumblr, and i kinda wanna talk. Randomly.

My thirst for drawing started in last year in middleschool. I had many stories in my mind and i wanted to see them on paper. I wanted it so badly, so i tried. Of course i knew results wont be perfect, but i also didnt expected it to be that bad.

I tried many times, but surely not enough, and after many fails i gave up. I told myself "You are not talented for this Naz, you will never be. You are wasting your time and hurting yourself. Find something else."

And i did. I stopped trying. I didnt know this was the worst decision i can make.

İn my last year in highschool -which is one year ago from today- i was kiiinda depressed because of my univercity exam. I wasnt sure which one i wanted to go, i was just randomly studying for a good point in exam. But studying without knowing what you want to do was harder than i thought. When this covid thing happened and i had to stay in my room for months and just study, i just couldnt take it anymore.

I told myself "Fuck everything. Fuck it. You wont do anything good anyway."

I wanted to play some games to kill time, and finished few games. That was the time i remembered Hogwarts Mystery. And i downloaded again. And i fell in love with it.

Time to admit, back then i didnt watch any Hp movie, or read its books. No, i just knew the Harry Potter, saw few film scenes on tv but that it. So its safe to say i learned the Hp universe with Hphm, with Night. It was expected for me to want draw them.

And suprisingly i really started to draw. I didnt care how bad it was, i was already in bottom end i thought it cant be any worse.

And here i am. İn the end of my first year of univercity, studying comminication design, taking art classes, using little graphic tablet. With Night, i realized thats what i want to do. I also find the courage to come out as enby, with Night again. Look how my art changed, how Night changed in a year.

Sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i didnt gave up on drawing, back then when i was in middle school. Thats why im keep saying everyone i know to not stop, believing in theirselves.If you want to do something, that feeling will never leave you alone. You will always want to do it and will do it one day too. Just dont lose that much time like me.

Sooo as you can see, Night is pretty important to me, so Tumblr. Thats why i deeply care about mc's here, all the amazing people here. Because all of you are part of Night's life, at least in my eyes. Thats why a simple like on my art makes me feel happy for week, a simple comment makes me feel loved, cared, seen.

It pains me to find it hard to reach people here. Like most of us here, im not sure if im bothering someone, annoying someone, or talk too much or talk shit too much. It doesnt even makes sense most of times, dont worry i know. But i feel like it anyway. But its okay, isnt it?

I believe we need to let ourselves to feel negative things. To get rid off them. Thats what im doing it anyway. It also shows me how i have love for somethings in my heart, enough to get hurt by it. In its own weird way, im happy to feel that love. If a little negativity comes with it, who cares??

Im happy to be here, cant believe its been a year. I cant believe how my art changed during that time, how i changed.

If im liking your posts, reblogging, leaving comment; i hope you at least smile and feel seen. Because im here, seeing your hard work and amazing results (even if you think its not amazing)

Thank you, and i hope you are also happy to be here. Because i am happy that youre here.

Happy one year anniversary to me and Night, i guess

#Personal #naz's shit post #night rhea #nazart #Im a softie today

[senpailuci]

This is my first ever Yoru x reader smut ;w; Sowy for the grammars but i was really needy and yet into writting something!...hehehe

Therefor i said i have bad grammars and writtings, spelling as well so sorry for that. Buttt i hope you enjoy this oneshot! Uwu this is for all of yoru simps or Carelss FOR ALL OF CHU BC I LUV U ALL UWU

!!NSFW Oneshot warning ahead if your not comfortable at Nsfw i suggest you do not read this! Or if your below age i suggest for you to not read dis!!

Dom Yoru x sub!Reader

(GIF not mayn OwO)

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"My,My You've been Needy one since i was gone huh?" There You were pinned against the wall By Yoru himself. With your Legs drapped around his waist and your hands around his shoulders, with your mouth agape as strings of saliva was visible connected each and every edge of your lips. Meanwhile his hands was wrapped around yours, keeping you held up in the ground before his palm gripped in each of your butt cheek,making you whimper in neediness and blushed harder than before.

"it seems i'll have a good time pleasing you, just the exact moment where i can punish you until you've learned your lesson"

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I Care to explain what happened to you. Well, awhile ago you were just there sitting in the couch out of boredom, waiting for your Boyfriend Yoru, To be back, since he had another daily mission to clear out this time. The Television was on yet you didn't do anything but watch and use Yoru's Phone for awhile now. Until hours have passed there you have nothing to do but just to lay down and sit back up, repeating afterwards until scratching your head. You couldn't just imagine how Yoru Cuddles up with you in the couch, sometimes it turned out into a session. And that session however cannot be forgotten by yours, you couldn't just stop imagining how he touched you, pleasures you until you begged for him to fuck you senselessly enough until you cant even walk. Biting your lips after those flashbacks. Soon you started to spread your own legs and blush, until your hands roamed down at your own body, imagining that it was Yoru the one who was doing it, bitting your lips afterwards before your hands stopped at your Private part. "Y-yoru...senpai...~" Moaning out his name whisperedly until your fingers impact on now your wet cloth, feeling those juices drip down on your thighs, "Mmgh....i-i need...you so badly...~" god were you moaning out loud and turning so horny, his attractive image literally popped out of your head making you bite your lip until you started to rub your own cloth clit. "a-Agh...Y-Yoru..." At the end you ended up setting your lingerie aside before you thrusted your fingers inside of you.

Applying more pressure and pleasure by one of your hand touching and squeezing your breast underneath Yoru's oversized Shirt, to big enough for you to cover your whole naked body, as you started to pinch your own nipples making you moan in real needy, the volume in the television you can't even hear the outside noises anymore but only your moans filling up the room was all in your ears, couldn't care less you ended up masterbating yourself alone in the living room. And all in your mind was Yoru, His Face, His voice and his touch is all you can think off.

"baby im ba-" as the front door creeked open there Revealed Yoru himself, who now stooded up as his eyes widen to see your state. "well someone's horny..." Chuckling at the end as Yoru leaned sideways on the door, before you snapped yourself in realization,twisting your head on where that voice was coming from, turned out it came from Yoru, who was now Back from his Mission "S-senpai?!..." There you're face turned red as your face grew hotter mer like a thousand degree's. "masterbating, Really? You could have just atleast waited for me to arrive..." Soon after he walked in he closed the door shut behind him, his gloved hand locking it afterwards before he walked up to you, however for you, you started to hover your way backwards and slowly, removing your fingers inside of your Area as juices drips and spreads around your two fingers and your clir. "And now that im here, im sure you'll be pleasing and begging for me all day...all night until you pass out in my arms" Yoru smirking at the end, before he bended down and crawled up ontop "W-wait I can explain!..." You commented out nervously until he pinned you and your hand down with only his one hand. "Save those words for tomorrow Y/n" he said out straightly and strictly "for now let me just enjoy myself pleasuring your body" his tone just melted you making shivers ran down through your spine.

"hm? What's this?" Watching his eyes darted at your fingers there you bitted your lips and looked away not wanting to answer his question because far more obvious its basically your juices and he knows that it is "God you Horny Slut..." Hearing him chuckle again before his left hand grabbed your wrist making you whimper and led out some muffle sounds, until you watched him lick all of those juices of yours in your Fingers. "Y-yoru..." Moaning out his name as you relaxed his saliva and his hot breath you can feel within your two fingers "Mmh...So delicate and Delicious...just wanted more of you" now his hand letted go of your wrist, there both of his hands decided to trail down to reach your waist, when he was about to make his next move there your arms drapped around his neck pulling him closer until your lips met his. "Hungry for my kisses now hm?" Oh god was he really right about that. Just soon before i replied there i was cutted off by him kissing me again, soonly you melted at it as you felt his teeth bitting your lower lip asking for territory, of course you declined and just kept your mouth shut, but apart from that he had to force you so, just before you pull back away there your body jolted from pleasure until your eyes looked down and discovered that two of his fingers entered inside of you making you moan outloud and Yoru had the chance to explore your mouth, each and every corner of it to be exact. You didnt even bother to have a tongue battle with him since you know that you'll lose at him.

Pushing him away as you lacked out of air, there you breath until you filled up your lungs, with a trail of saliva connected at Yoru's lips, soon he went down for another one but you stopped him. slightly upset and confused was seen at Yoru's reaction...

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ILL WRITE THE PART OF THIS ONE SHOT SOONLY ENOUGH I AM SO SORRY wifhejfj

Anyways i hoped you enjoy da oneshot UwU

#yoru valorant x reader #valorant #x reader smut #valorant yoru #oneshot