#Eddis Reads Monte Cristo

[moonmeg]

Sweet, naïve Edmond 😭🤍

#sketch #the count of monte cristo #edmond dantes #currently reading it and i could not not dedicate Eddi a small sketch #protect this man at all costs #she said after he has already been betrayed and sits in a state prison while innocent

[corrodedcoughin]

Idk just imagine with me, Steddie curled up together on the couch. Eddie reading the count of monte cristo out loud while Steve is wrapped around him, chin hooked over Eddie’s shoulder. They are too warm but neither of them can be bothered to move so they don’t

#stranger things #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington

[mzannthropy]

I absolutely agree that Camilly>>>> Daisybilly. Also Edmila. I'm just gonna pretend none of the cheating happen. Also, what do you think about fics that make Billy a bad father? I hate them lol. Billy was there for Julia's plays,soccer games, and to see her grow into an adult. You can tell he loved her.

(This got long...)

Thanks, it's good to see someone still cares about Billy x Camila! Tbh I've been thinking that I probably misunderstood the story, which is not unlike me with the way my mind works, but the thing is, I was only in it bc of Sam Claflin. I would never have had picked the book up if he hadn't been cast in the series. I barely care about real 70s bands, never mind fictional, and I didn't know anything about Fleetwood Mac (in fact I only started listening to them bc of DJATS and, funnily enough, I saw that 1997 performance on TV which they just happened to show at the time when the filming of DJATS was going on--but I didn't think anything of it. Don't those two hate each other?). That's my kind of longwinded way of saying that I had no idea I was supposed to ship Daisy and Billy, especially as I rooted for Camila right from the beginning. I'm also much older than majority of the fandom and have one failed marriage under my belt already, so I see things differently.

I think that Camila liked the rockstar side of Billy, hence why she was able to overlook some things (after all, this was the 70s), bc she knew he would always come home to her. Relationships are laundry and taxes, not omG tHE wAY thEY LooK aT eAcH OthEr on stage, but I guess that's not cool enough for the show. I'm not a fanfic person, actually, I read maybe about three a year (and that's only short ones) and with the exception of Jane Eyre, I don't write any (I prefer writing original). Occasionally I check AO3 for some particular piece of media or a ship, just to see what's there (in fact I did so twice in the last week, once for a particular pairing in a L.M. Montgomery book and once for all The Count of Monte Cristo fics, Sam's next project). I've never looked at any DJATS fics ever and I'd rather not know. So I didn't know there were fics that made Billy a bad father. I suppose people can write what they want, if they need to make Billy worse for their preferred ship to exist, well, they're free to do so, if it makes them happy. I loathe cheap, lazy plot devices and villainisation for the sake of making the protagonist look better, or making the reader/viewer care about the author's favourite pairing. I tend to feel the exact opposite of what the writer(s) want me to feel. So merely hearing about the Billy as bad father fics makes me hate them, lol.

It's not true, anyway. The show didn't exactly do Billy any favours with erasing the twins, bc in the book, he was with Camila while she was giving birth to them, holding her hand etc, in contrast to Julia's birth. But even so, we have some evidence of him being a better dad, like when he rang Camila while on the Aurora tour and wanted to hear Julia just sleeping. They could have done more and I suspect they really did, that there were more scenes that they eventually cut. Idk, but this picture just makes me think there must have been more. Who knows...

So while he may not have been the world's best dad, he was not a bad one either. After all, as I started saying lately, (about real people but it goes for fictional too), people can be more than one thing.

Saying that, Eddie gives me mild incel vibes. If Camila wanted to be with Eddie, she'd be with him. "I'd choose you over everyone" means nothing, it's just words. It was a bit of a lazy shortcut for Camila to cheat with him, but that's just one of the show's sins. They gave Camila a creative profession and then did a fuck all with it, like why couldn't she have connected with a fellow photographer? Like that dude she talked to in the dark room or whoever it was.

I wonder if soon we'll start seeing articles on Screen Rant et al about how "wrong we were to ship Billy and Daisy and how emotional affairs ruin the lives of everyone around them" or something similar. More likely, though, the show will fade into obscurity which I will honestly be thankful for. I'm glad that Sam got what he needed out of it (he talked about it in interviews) and I'm glad Camila got some recognition, she just won a breakthrough award at Critics Choice and I'm glad Suki and the others got to be in it and the songs are good, and I wish them well, and I wish the writers a very hope your pens break and drafts get deleted and I hope Hello Sunshine burns down.

#billy dunne #billy x camila #camila dunne #answered #bad writing #bad fanservice

[eddisfargo]

CoMC Chapter 40

CHAPTER 40

The Breakfast 54 minutes

Only about 15 minutes in because my bluetooth headphones ran out of batteries, but there’s so much already! 

First off, Albert’s potential wife is Mlle. Danglars?? Whom he mostly sees as a human moneybag emoji, but he’s willing to overlook the fact that Danglars has no background to speak of because she’s a big moneybag emoji. Like, 2 million on marriage big. Also, haha, that makes a lot more sense that he was probably getting that scented letter from evil Danglars’s daughter and not his wife, who must be like 20 or 30 years older than he is. Hope baby Danglars is much much nicer, but come to think of it we haven’t really had any evil women in this book? I mean, Renee’s mom’s kind of a treasure (from her one scene at the other betrothal dinner) but she hasn’t actually done anything awful. 

Speaking of The Next Generation, little soldier Morrel (whose name I just misspelled twice but was able to look up from my previous posts) is at this breakfast! He saved another dude’s life on the anniversary of his dad’s salvation, which is apparently a thing he does every year on the anniversary, and he has no idea that THE SAVIOR HIMSELF is about to walk in! And, realistically, when he does he still won’t! (Also the dude miniMorrel saved, whose name I am not even going to attempt to spell and I don’t even remember it, once broke Franz’s arm in a duel, lolol). Except, hang on, coming back later, his sister was totally saved by Sinbad the Sailor and he might know that??

So Albert proceeds to literally recap the last few chapters for all his witty little friends, including everything he promised Franz he would NEVER EVER REPEAT, and swears them to secrecy to not mention it in front of the Count, which he then totally does himself anyway. The Count’s like “umm didn’t you promise never to speak of that?” and Albert’s like “What? No? Must’ve been some other guy you saved from bandits.” 

So there’s just a minute where it seems like Morrel Jr. put it together (“didn’t you violate your egoistic principles one time and be selfless?”) but it turns out he just meant Albert, not Morrel Sr. Oh man, the Count was so excited to see MiniMorrel he could barely hide it, and he asked after his sister to find that she’d married Eustace or whatever, just as Dantes promised she would, using the dowry Dantes provided, and is excessively happy. Dantes is obviously thrilled, although he can’t admit it. He does admit he wants to meet her. Just realized my narrative must be confusing how I just call him literally whatever I want. Edmond, Dantes, Sinbad, the Count, have I ever just called him Monte Cristo or MC? Don’t remember. 

Anyway, although Morrel doesn’t figure out he’s talking to the guy who saved his entire family, Dantes does accidentally namedrop the financial institution he credits with saving his whole family, which Morrel has been trying to thank for years with no success. Dantes promises to get him in touch with them or whatever. We’ll see, I guess! 

Oh hey, that dude I just said above I would never be able to spell? The guy who broke Franz’s arm and whom Morrel saved? His name is in the PDF! Chȃteau-Renaud. I would never have gotten that, good for me for giving up preemptively. If I’d tried it phonetically I’d probably have written like, Chadderuno or something. And that’s assuming I remembered it well enough to do that, which historically I have not. (Morrel -> Monterelle? How?)  

#Eddis Reads Monte Cristo #count of monte cristo #spoilers #haha can't wait for the next one

[xviicprc]

HAVE YOU SEEN MY HUSBAND?

WELL NOW YOU HAVE :)

#fgo #fate grand order #fate series #edmond dantes #avenger fgo #count of monte cristo #gacha game #anime #my art #xviicprc art #gankutsuou #gankutsuo #??? i have read only both ways to write the same name augh #anyway. eddie :) #sketch #wip

[highfunctioningflailgirl]

‘Happiness is like the enchanted places we read of in our childhood, where fierce, fiery dragons defend the entrance and approach; and monsters of all shapes and kinds, requiring to be overcome ere victory is ours.’

Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

#*nods* #literary quote #i agree with eddie #alexandre dumas #the count of monte cristo #buddy read #team dumas

[raulesparzascheerleader]

good thing olivia was there making sure the love of her life and his family were doing alright, because the stabler's would have still thought grandma bernie misplaced her own medication. i understand he is still a child, but shame on eli stealing from his grandmother.

anyways, olivia is spot on once again. you know eli is gonna make a disrespectful comment at her or about her if he learns who told his daddy about the medication. elliot won't put up with that shit at all. eli is already gonna get his ass disciplined for stealing from his grandmother.

it seems like olivia caught on to flutura being a sex trafficker before elliot and sgt. bell caught on. i may need to do a rewatch. olivia saw the way elliot looked at flutura. does she think elliot and flutura fucked? ugh, i don't know. again, olivia is good at reading people. oh, she is elliot's soulmate or twin flame. i believe elliot and olivia know what the other is thinking before they say it out loud.

did elliot realize rita may have been sending coded messages through her copy of "the count of monte cristo"? i noticed how she highlighted certain phrases including, "help me!"

it was obvious how scared those girls and young women were. fucking disgusting how they were treated. scumbags thought they wouldn't get caught if they "bid" on jewelry instead of an actual human being. they were still bidding on human beings!

i am still on the fence about congressman kilbride. i certainly hope he was totally ignorant to the human trafficking.

thank goodness sgt. bell showed up in time before elliot was a dead man.

elliot finally convinced rita that she and her son will be safe!

i was glad to see fin.

jet's personality is awesome.

olivia knows elliot is crossing a fine line. if he isn't careful, "eddie wagner" may take over his identity. olivia + elliot = true love.

as much as reggie is a criminal, he loves his mama. if he wanted to show how much he loves her, he would turn his life around for the better.

ugh! i kinda hoped elliot would have left flutura to get arrested, but i now understand why he helped her escape. he would be suspected as the "rat". unfortunately, someone else may be suspected instead. it's not gonna end well at all. obviously, elliot won't be killed off.

like, are eli's punk ass friends just random losers, or are they connected to a bigger organization? elliot has lost his wife. he cannot bear to lose his son.

as much as far-fetched this show gets, it's great entertainment for an hour. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#law and order organized crime #law and order oc

[stellarstacey]

just wanted to say your last two asks are the SHIT god the 118 realising how much buck and eddie are dating WITHOUT EVEN DATING is the best trope! anyway just wanted to say thanks for these and if you want to, consider this your official request to keep writing some! like buck n eddie knowing way too specific stuff about each other's lives and the 118+maddie being respectively like "nobody's finding it weird that they just know that??" and "what the FUCK even /I/ forgot about this [thing]??"

This was so stupid. Buck thought with a pout as he sat down next to Eddie. Of all the games to play on game night, Maddie picked the Newlywed game. It's not fair, Karen and Hen were gonna win or maybe Bobby and Athena. Buck hated losing and he knew that Maddie knew that so he glared at her and Chim.

"Alright, Buck, Karen, Athena and I will start. What is my favorite animal? Oh easy one." Maddie said as she started to write on her white board.

Buck rolled his eyes. Easy, Eddie loved Foxes.

They all got a point on that round.

"What is my favorite food?" Maddie read out.

Easy, Abuela's enchinadas

Only Buck and Karen got that one.

"What did I want to be when I grew up?" Maddie read out and Buck frowned as he saw the stumped look on the faces around him.

Again that was easy, Race Car Driver.

He felt eyes on him as his and Eddie's answers were the only one to match.

He shifted slightly feeling the warmth of Eddie's thigh against his own.

"Biggest fear?" Maddie read out awkwardly.

Buck frowned at that...he wrote, losing Christopher and I hate that you made me write this.

Karen and Chim got it right and when he and Eddie turned their boards the collective gasped had Buck confused. He looked at Eddie who also looked confused before looking at Eddie's board.

Losing Christopher and I hate that you made me write this.

Buck blinked at him. Eddie stared at Buck's board in slight awe.

"Jesus Christ, it's like they have one mind." Chim muttered.

"Time to switch." Maddie muttered still looking at her brother like he had grown another head.

"What's the point? They are murdering us." Bobby said with a laugh.

Maddie just rolled her eyes and read another card. "What is my favorite thing about my appearance?" Maddie read and Buck frowned.

What was his favorite thing about himself? Hair...no. Eyes...maybe. Body...no. He settled on his tattoos. They had meaning.

"Time." Maddie said and when everyone turned their boards and Buck saw that Eddie wrote his tattoos Buck had blinked at him. How in the hell...

"Oh for the love of..." Karen muttered as they were the only ones to get it right again.

"What is my favorite book?" Maddie asked and Buck smirked.

Okay, there was no way Eddie was getting this one. Absolutely no way. Buck wrote his answer down and waited.

They turned their boards and the smirk fell off his face. He could feel eyes on them.

"Okay, that's it! How in the seven hells did you know that Buck's favorite book was Alice in freaking Wonderland?" Chim growled throwing down his board as everyone stared at them.

Eddie shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"He quotes it all the time. Plus he was the Mad Hatter for Halloween...He also has a first edition copy in his room...Not hard to figure out." Eddie shrugged and Buck stared at him in slight awe.

They were getting knowing looks.

"Last question, cause this is getting depressing. What is my best memory?" Maddie read and Buck blinked.

Jesus that was a hard question to answer.

He furrowed his brow. Then for some reason one memory stuck out. He didn't want to offend Maddie by putting one where she wasn't included but...He wrote it down anyways. November 14th 2019.

"Alright time." Maddie said and Buck felt his insides warm as he saw Eddie's answer 11/14/2019.

Buck could feel eyes on them again.

"What happened on the 14th?" Hen asked baffled.

Buck just smiled. "Some secrets stay secret." Buck said and Eddie smiled.

Maddie frowned. "They didn't miss one question!" She grumbled as she sat next to Chim.

"They're joined at the hip 24/7 what did you expect?" Chim muttered with annoyance.

The rest of the night they played charades and scrabble. Buck was getting a beer when he felt Eddie behind him. He turned to smile at him. The others were in the living room.

"November 14th, huh. That one was a gamble for me." Eddie whispered.

"It was a great day." Buck answered shyly shifting from foot to foot.

"We just hanged out at my place all day..." Eddie said with a small smile.

"Yeah but it was me, you and Chris. That's all I need for it to be a perfect day." Buck said blushing slightly.

Eddie was staring at him. "There are many more perfect days to come than." Eddie whispered before kissing him gently.

Buck eyes widened only for a second before he metled into Eddie.

"The count of monte cristo. Your favorite book." Buck whispered as they broke apart and Eddie grinned nodding.

#buddie

[madpanda75]

7) “I love you.” “I’m sorry … I don’t love you like that.” “I know.” with rafael and his assistant where she confesses her love for him but it doesn't exactly pan out for her, please and thank you

My darling! Thank you so much for your request and I’m so sorry it took me forever to write this! I hope you like this, I made a slight change to the request! I tied this story in with New Year’s. ❤️

Thanks for all the likes, comments, and reblogs! If anyone wants to be tagged in my writing, let me know! 😘

“When You Least Expect It”

Your eyes scanned the pages of the law book resting on your lap in search of the right reference. You could hear the sound of keystrokes from a few feet away and tried to will yourself to not look over to the person typing. “What’s one more look?” You thought to yourself. “Maybe he won’t notice.”

Giving into your temptation, you glanced up from your seat on the leather couch. Rafael Barba sat in front of his laptop, his piercing eyes focused on the screen, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. He was more relaxed as the night waned on, his tie undone and tossed aside, his sleeves rolled up to reveal muscular forearms. You drank him in, from the stray hair beginning to curl on his forehead to his broad chest down to his large hands that were as close to perfection as possible. Almost as if he could feel someone watching him, Rafael looked up, meeting your gaze.

You blushed, going back to your book, silently chastising yourself for being caught.

Rafael stood up from his desk and made his way over to you. “How’s it going?”

“Good.” You cleared your throat, the smell of his cologne mixed with faint traces of dark espresso beans filled your nostrils. “I….ummm….I think I may have found a law reference that can help us.”

He sat down, looking over your shoulder, following your finger on the page. “This is great.” You handed him the book, watching his profile while he read. “ I think you may have just won this case for us.”

You smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I don’t know about that. I’m just doing my job.”

Rafael locked eyes with you. “Don’t sell yourself short, Y/N. You’ve been a tremendous help. I think you’re going to make a great lawyer someday.” Your heart skipped a beat, his face was so close to yours, you could count the freckles on his nose. Suddenly there was knock on the door, your brother’s head poking into the office.

“Eddie, come in!” Rafael said, getting up to greet his close friend.

Your big brother smiled, pulling the ADA in for a half hug. “Hope I’m not interrupting. It’s starting to snow and I thought Y/N would like a ride home.”

You rolled your eyes, your brother still thought of you as a child. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m an adult and fully capable of taking myself home.”

Eddie wrapped an arm around you, playfully giving you a noogie. “No matter what, you’re always going to be my baby sister.”

“Stop, Eddie!” You whined, pushing away from him.

“Easy guys. I don’t do family law.” Rafael chuckled. “Y/N, why don’t you go home with Eddie. It’s getting late and I’ll be leaving soon anyways.”

You looked between the two men, practically glaring at your brother for cock blocking you. “Oh ok. If you’re sure. I would be more than willing to stay and help you out with the case.”

“Go home, Y/N. Get some rest.” Rafael said. “I’ve already kept you too long.”

“I’ll wait for you by the elevator.” Eddie nudged your shoulder before waving to his friend. “Have a good night, Raf.”

Once your brother was gone, you slowly moved to grab your coat and collect your things. “So….are you…going to the New Year’s Eve office party tomorrow night?”

Rafael scrunched up his nose, “I don’t know…office parties where people get drunk on cheap champagne and hook up with coworkers so that they won’t spend a highly overrated holiday alone is not really my thing.”

“Oh, come on, Raf. You have to go! If you don’t, I won’t know anyone else at the party.” You pleaded. “It’ll be fun. We can stand in the corner and people watch. I’ll even sneak in some good scotch. Please…pretty please…with sugar on top. For me?” You gave Rafael sad puppy dog eyes, knowing he would give in. It always worked when you were younger.

The ADA let out a long sigh, his shoulders slumped as he hung his head, “Fine.”

You jumped on the balls of your feet, “Thank you!!! I promise, we’re going to have fun!” After making arrangements for Rafael to pick you up the next night, you left his office, practically floating on a cloud.

With Eddie and Rafael being such close friends, you had grown up with the handsome ADA. Rafael had always been so sweet to you, always looking out for you. It was because of him that you discovered your love of books, your most prized possession was a first edition of The Count of Monte Cristo, he had given you on your 16th birthday. When you were applying for college, Rafael introduced you to several of his friends from the Harvard Alumni Association. He had even helped you get an internship with the District Attorney’s office upon hearing you were interested in becoming a lawyer. For as long as you could remember, you had been in love with him.

Rafael knocked on your apartment door. He couldn’t believe that he was actually attending one of these ridiculous holiday office parties, but Rafael told Eddie he would watch out for you and the ADA didn’t want you to go alone. A few minutes later the door opened, Rafael couldn’t help but smile when he saw you dressed in a shimmery champagne colored cocktail dress, your hair swept off your shoulders in a chic chignon. “Hi, Rafael. You look so handsome.” You said.

“Thank you,” he offered his arm to you, leading you towards the elevator. “You look absolutely beautiful.”

“Thanks, Raf.” You replied as butterflies began to flutter in your stomach, deciding that tonight was going to be the best night of your life with Rafael by your side.

Despite his earlier misgivings, the ADA was enjoying himself that evening. You both sipped on glasses of scotch and champagne, laughing and talking for most of the evening, often reminiscing about the good ol’ days in the neighborhood. Working together over the past few months, had made you two close and Rafael valued the friendship he had with you.

As the alcohol flowed, your inhibitions were lowering. You were giggly, coyly flirting Rafael, hoping he would take a hint. “I’m going to get another drink.” You announced, making your way over to the bartender.

Rafael watched from a distance as you asked for two glasses of champagne, furrowing his eyebrows when he saw, Michael Fabian, a fellow ADA make his way over to you. Fabian was infamous for hooking up with interns and Rafael didn’t want you to become his latest conquest. He made a beeline towards the bar, wrapping a protective arm around you. “Is everything alright?” He asked before looking at Fabian, “You trying to steal my intern?”

Fabian smiled, “Not at all. I was just getting to know Ms. Garcia a bit more. You’ve been keeping her so busy, I’ve barely seen her around the office.”

“Well, we’ve had a tough case. Y/N’s been helping me a lot. If you’ll excuse us.”  Rafael abruptly turned, leading you away from the lascivious lawyer towards a quiet corner of the room.

The apples of your cheeks tinged pink as you leaned slightly into Rafael’s touch. “You were brilliant back there, like my knight in shining armor.”

“Fabian is a creep. I wouldn’t want you getting tangled up with him.” He replied.

You smiled at Rafael, losing yourself in those emerald green eyes that had stolen your heart when someone loudly announced it was 10 seconds till midnight. Everyone began to countdown. “10, 9, 8, 7.”

“I’m so glad you decided to come.” You shouted above the noise of the crowd.

“6, 5, 4.”

“Me too.” Rafael replied.

“3, 2, 1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Confetti rained down while people were hugging and kissing each other, welcoming the new year as Auld Lang Syne played in the background. You and Rafael stood there awkwardly for a moment until you closed the gap between you both, placing a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Happy New Year!” You hugged him tightly, basking in the warmth radiating from his body.

He froze for a second before hugging you back, “Happy New Year, Y/N.” After midnight, the party began to die down, the crowd quickly dispersing. You sat next to Rafael on the drive back home, your mind racing, hoping beyond hope that after tonight he would take you in his arms and ask you to be his forever. You had dreamed of this, had dreamed of him for so long.

“Thank you for tonight. I had a good time.” You softly said as he led you to your door.

“So did I.”

You looked up at Rafael for a moment before wrapping your arms around him, pulling him into a kiss, unable to stop yourself. He raised his eyebrows in surprise, not reciprocating in the kiss but rather gently pulling your hands away from his neck. “Y/N, please stop.” He said in barely a whisper.

Your heart sank into the depths of your stomach, you felt vulnerable and embarrassed, “Oh my God….I’m so sorry.”

Rafael shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression tonight, but…”

“No, it’s fine.” You said, interrupting him. In that moment, you would have given anything for the floor to open up and swallow you whole. “I should go. Good night.” Before he could say anything, you quickly entered your apartment, shutting the door behind you. You leaned against the door, hot tears streaming down your face while you listened to Rafael’s footsteps get farther away.

Your alarm went off early on Monday morning, you groaned, silencing the blaring buzz by throwing it against the wall. You had spent all weekend dreading this day, knowing you would have to face Rafael. Deciding not to delay the inevitable, you got out of bed.

The first day back in the office after the New Year’s Eve fiasco was not as bad as you had anticipated. Miraculously, Rafael had been in court meaning you could avoid him as much as possible. As the sun dipped below the horizon, you frantically tried to finish your work, hoping to leave before he got back to his office. All of your efforts proved to be futile as Rafael knocked on the door of your teeny office. “Hey, Y/N. Can I see you in my office.”

Your officemate and fellow intern looked between you and the ADA. “Umm…sure.” You replied, getting up to follow him.

Rafael shut the door once you entered his office, moving to sit behind his desk. You took the seat in front of him, your eyes studying the grooves in the carpet, hands folded in your lap, not able to even meet his gaze.

“Y/N.”

“Rafael,” you both simultaneously said after several moments of silence. You looked up to see him smiling at you, gesturing with his hand for you to continue.

“I’m so sorry about Saturday night. I thought that maybe…..you and me.” As you continued to speak  your voice got smaller. It wasn’t easy professing your love to your brother’s friend, someone who had known you since birth. You took a deep breath and sat up straighter, bracing yourself as you made the ultimate confession.  “Rafael, you have always been a constant in my life, one of the few people who is always there for me. I love you. I’ve loved you ever since I was a little girl and I was hoping you felt the same way.”

Rafael nodded his head. Your heart sank, you could see the cogs working in his brain, deciding how to let you down as gently as possible. “Y/N, I’m sorry but I don’t love you like that. I think of you like my little sister.”

You clenched your hands together tightly, fighting back the sting of tears. A sharp pain rippling through your chest. “I know. That’s how I’ll always be seen. Little Y/N, Eddie’s baby sister, with pigtails, a dress, bandaids on my knees chasing you around the neighborhood.”

Rafael walked around his desk, sitting in the chair next to you. A mixture of sadness and sympathy were in his eyes. “I think you’re an amazing beautiful young woman. Someday when you least expect it, you’re going to meet the right man for you and they will be the luckiest man on the planet. It’s just…not me.”

“Thanks. Ummm…if there’s nothing else, I’d….ummm….like to go home now.” You got up, practically fleeing Rafael’s office, feeling like a complete fool for believing he could ever share your sentiments. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you walked towards the elevator, desperate to go home. Quickening your pace, you turned the corner bumping into a tall broad chest.

“Excuse me. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”  You said, looking up at the tall blue eyed stranger.

The man smiled at you, “That’s ok. My fault, I was looking down at my phone and not paying attention.” He cocked his head at you. “Hey…aren’t you Y/N Garcia? Eddie’s sister?”

You snorted a laugh. Jeez, was that your only title, Eddie Garcia’s little sister. “Yep, that’s me.”

“I’m Detective Sonny Carisi. We met a few weeks ago. You’re working with Barba, right?”

You nodded your head, sniffling a bit. “Nice to see you again, Detective Carisi.”

“Please call me Sonny.” He replied, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled brightly at you.

“If you’ll excuse me, Sonny. I have to go.”

Sonny furrowed his eyebrows in concern, noticing your red rimmed eyes, the tears that still lingered on your cheeks. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.” Your lip trembled a bit, a few more tears spilling out. “It’s been a bad day and I just want to get home.”

“Do you want to talk about it or do you need a ride?” The detective asked, gently placing his hand on your shoulder.

“No thank you, Detect– Sonny.” You shook your head. “I just want to be alone right now.” He nodded his head, allowing you to pass by him, watching as you made your way into the elevator.

You finished working on your case with Rafael, as difficult as it was, you refused to let your personal life interfere with your career. After the case was won, you decided to leave the D.A.’s office and focus on finishing your final semester of law school. You didn’t speak to Rafael, avoiding him at all costs at any function that happened to bring the two of you together. It was too painful to be around him.

Rafael was respectful of the distance you wanted to maintain and never spoke a word of what had happened between you both to your brother. As much as he wished things could go back to how they were, he knew your friendship would never be the same.

Time does heal all wounds and as the months progressed, your broken heart was slowly mending itself. You were beginning to feel like yourself again. It was early spring, the days were beginning to get warmer and you were getting ready to graduate and take the bar exam, excited for what the future held for you. Deciding to take a study break one day, you walked into your favorite coffee shop where you noticed a familiar tall detective. “Sonny?”

Sonny turned towards you, “Y/N!? It’s good to see you.”

“You too.” You said with a smile.

His gaze wandered down to the large study guide in your hand. “You getting ready to take the bar?”

You nodded your head, “Yep, I’ve been cooped up in my apartment for hours. I’m just taking a bit of break, figured a change of scenery and some caffeine might help me refocus.”

Sonny chewed on his bottom lip a bit, shuffling his feet. “Well…ya know, I took the bar last year. I would be more than happy to help you study.”

“That would be great. If you have the time.” You felt your stomach flip flop as you noticed Sonny’s crystal blue eyes and sweet smile. “Wow, this man is handsome. Why is he a detective and not working as a model.” You thought.

“Yeah, I’ve got all the time in the world.” Sonny said as you both made your way up to the counter. Just as you were about to pay for your coffee, he stopped you, pulling out a couple of bills. “It’s my treat.” He said with a wink making you blush.

The barista handed Sonny both your coffees while you looked for an empty table. The two of you studied for a little while, but the conversation quickly changed from case law to just talking about your lives and interests. The hours flew by, it was easy talking to Sonny, you couldn’t quite explain it, but it felt as if you two had known each other forever. By the end of the night, you left the shop with his number, a date, and a kiss that made your lips tingle.

One date turned into several, and a year later, it was Sonny’s turn to profess his love for you, getting down on one knee, asking you to be his wife, his forever. Later on at your wedding, you would tell Rafael that he was right. When you least expected it, you found the perfect man for you.

@obfuscateyummy @beltzboys2015-blog @letty-o @sweetsummertime99 @sonnysdoll @lyssa1385 @burningsorr0ws @katmstanton @gibbs274 @izzythefanfreak @southern-magnolia @riodallas @eclecticminded @delia26 @glimmerglittergirl @sweetcannolicarisi

#rafael barba #rafael barba fic #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi #barba #barba imagine #barba fic #carisi fic #law and order svu imagine #law and order svu fic

[mystereriddler]

Do not reblog, just re-post.

TAGGED BY : I STOLED IT TAGGING:  ANYONE

NAME: Edward Alvin Nashton Emrys Nygma NICKNAME: The Riddler, Mr. E. E. Nygma, Eddie. GENDER: Agender AGE: 38 DATE OF BIRTH: July 27th, 1979 OCCUPATION: Former Super Villain, Currant Private Investigator and Consulting Detective.

██▒ APPEARANCE

EYE COLOR: Green HAIR COLOR: Red (Sometimes dyed black or brown) HEIGHT: 6′1” SCARS: Bite marks on his fingers/knuckles and forearms, some light scarring on his back, ass and thighs from.....you know ;), small various other scars from fights. OVERWEIGHT: No UNDERWEIGHT: No

██▒ FAVORITE

COLOR: Green (Isn’t the obvious?) ANIMAL/S: Cats, Ferrets, and Birds. MOVIE/S: Musicals, broadway or otherwise. Disney is a favorite.  TV SHOW: Any cop procedural that can actually keep him guessing which isn’t many, and Jeopardy and various other game shows.  FOOD: Always appreciates a well cooked, tender steak. And pancakes. He loves those groovy little flat cakes. DRINK: Coffee that’s really only half coffee and instead filled with sugar and cream and shots of espresso. BOOK: The Count of Monte Cristo. It’s one of the few he can read over and over, even with his perfect recall. Otherwise, any nonfiction text books he will just Absorb.

██▒ HAVE THEY

PASSED UNIVERSITY: No. HAD SEX: Yes. HAD SEX IN PUBLIC: Yes. GOTTEN PREGNANT: No. KISSED A BOY: Yes. KISSED A GIRL: Yes. GOTTEN TATTOOS: No. HAD A BROKEN HEART: Yes. BEEN IN LOVE: Yes. STAYED UP FOR MORE THAN 24 HOURS: Yes.

██▒ ARE THEY

A VIRGIN: No. A KISSER: Yes. SCARED EASILY: ....Yes. JEALOUS EASILY: Yes. TRUSTWORTHY: Yes. IN LOVE: Yes. SINGLE: Yes (Also depends on verse.)

██▒ RANDOM QUESTIONS

HAVE THEY HARMED THEMSELVES: Yes. THOUGHT OF SUICIDE: No. ATTEMPTED SUICIDE: No. WANTED TO KILL SOMEONE: Yes. DROVE A CAR: Yes. HAVE/HAD A JOB: Yes. HAVE ANY FEARS: Yes.

██▒ FAMILY

SIBLINGS: None. PARENTS: Frank Nashton and Lydia Nashton. CHILDREN: None. PETS: None.

#SOLVE THE RIDDLE [ headcanons ] #i love this one bc its v intricate

[unholykazoo]

Getting to know me

Sorry I took so long - I've been weekending. 

I was tagged by @stranger-ghoul @h3rblkw1ngs and @caligurl32 on my main blog *waves*, and @littlebloomsworld over here. I usually reblog on my main, so let’s switch it up a bit.

I'm supposed to answer 20 questions and tag 20 people.

1) Name; I'll pretty much always give my name as Lana on the internet, but I'm super jazzed that one of my questions was picked for the latest Ghost Metal Hammer interview. So, there I am?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2) Nickname; Lan

3) Sign; Gemini

4) Height; 5'3"

5) Orientation; Second star to the right and straight on til morning.

6) Nationality; American - mostly German/Polish ancestors.

7) Favorite Fruit; Citrus fruits, especially limes.

8) Favorite Season; Autumn.

9) Favorite Book; I tend to think in eras. As a child my favorite books were Watership Down and The Lord of the Rings. As a young(ish) adult, they were The Count of Monte Cristo, American Gods, and A Song of Ice and Fire. More recently, the Vorkosigan saga, Deathless, and the Discworld series. Sorry, I've read way too much to pick just one.

10) Favorite Flower; I like snapdragons, tulips, lilacs... but I downplay my like of flowers quite a bit. I don't partiularly want people buying me flowers, it's rare that I like a floral print, I think many floral scents are gross, and I'm not big on gardening.

11) Favorite Scent; “The Malignant Dreams of Cthulhu in Love”. It was an exclusive scent that Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab made for ThinkGeek, but it's been unavailable for a couple years now. Luckily, through that I was introduced to BPAL. My favorite scent that's available is Miskatonic University. (Which is kinda funny if you know my instagram.)

12) Favorite color; verdigris - the color of copper patina, a brilliant blue-green. In general I love jewel tones and dark/rich colors.

13) Favorite animal; The ones with bad reps, the night creatures, the scary ones. Namely sharks, vultures, owls, hyenas, bats, foxes, cephalopods...

14) Coffee or Tea; Tea is dominant at my place. I love chai, and a bunch of other flavored black teas. I do like me a good cup of coffee though (Death Wish!). Cold brew is also great.

15) Average hours of sleep; 7

16) Cat or Dog person? Cats. I do like dogs, but I prefer cats. I'm not a fan of the more subservient and dependent nature of dogs.

17) Favorite Fictional Character? Death/The Reaper.

18) Number of Blankets you sleep with? 3-4.

19) Blog Created? Diascordium, Sept 2011. This one, June 2016.

20) Number of followers? 668! Who are all you people. Say hi or something.

I tag @burym4n @nonpopulous @eddie-the-rattlehead @brainless4u @brandmewithyoursymbolonmyskull @sisterghuleh @faerieincombatboots @ladyrevealedofcloak @harbingerwolf @gingersnarls @remediesrebellion @raggedysam @ratouttahell @lucifersbrightstar @autumnalmistress @supraastra @your-ghoul @dessa722 @baking-ghoul @theobsessivefan

if any of you are so inclined, and haven’t yet.

#ghost fam #getting to know me #getting to know meme #tagging memes #tags #tagging #my posts

[nightmarist]

Every un-even number for the identity ask thing c:

yiiIISSSS cheeky

I already did #1 but I was reminded how much I loved Riddler - Solitaire that I’ll say everyone should go find and read that

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

Overwatch - McCree, I think ! Easy going, laid back, but get to business when i need to - and even then, I can still be laid back about business and important things and still do them well. 

Sailor Moon - Haru !! I love sailor saturn so much, and I never realized why I identified with her so much back when I was a kid. My parents are very much like her dad. Over-protective to an obsession, not allowed to go outside, have friends, etc extremely sheltered. 

Dragon Age - Flemeth, I think. Underestimated, powerful, but still emotional. Motives do not need to be stated to know they are important. 

Final Fantasy - As of late, I’m really up identifying with Ardyn. Familial betrayal, and so hellbent on revenge its the only thing keeping him alive. 

DC - RIDDLER. I love Scarecrow, too, but I really ID with RIddler way more. My dad never physically hit me, but man, everything that makes current Riddler what he is with the whole… Everyone tells him he;s smart, he knows he is, but no one really appreciates how much work gets put into him being smart? Or that he always has something to prove. I super ID with him. ANd not just on like, a pity level either I mean like. In Solitaire, he fucking blew a guards arm off because his own arm was twisted by that very guard just because he was playing Solitaire, and Eddie went out of his way to make an elaborate plot and scheme to electrocute and beat the fuck out of anyone in his way just to he could blow the guys arm off for hurting him in the same arm. Like man, that’s how extra I wanna be someday. 

Hannibal (NBC) - Abigail. Plain, pretty, fucked up family. 

Hannibal Series - Dolarhyde, back in the day. As in, when I used to have extremely violent intrusive thoughts. They’re much more tame now, but I used to super ID with Dolarhyde back in the day. 

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

Hmm, I have enough existential crises that I dont know what human is anymore. My body constantly feels dysphoric and I cant tell if its gender or personhood anymore. So I guess I just go by what I do, yeah. 

7. do you care about your ethnicity?

Kind of ?? I’m maya/latina but I’m also super white thanks to my dads side of the family and some spaniards back in the day. But like… I know hardly anything about myself, heritage, family, etc that I might as well just be white, you feel me. Someone yelled at me one time bc I made a joke about a mexican soda I’ve never seen use plastic bottles or cans, just glass bottles, and they told me to shut up and that they’re a “real” mexican so like ….. I stopped really IDing myself too much as latina by itself. I’m white. 

9. are you an artist?

I try to be at least

11. describe your ideal day.

Wake up refreshed by 730, have enough time to prepare a nice outfit, makeu, matching jewelry with little difficulty, have cereal in the morning, get hot chocolate on my way to class, a fun lecture with interactivity and interesting information, leave class to meet with my friends to play some games, head out to a friends house to play board games and ouija, stay and eat pizza and junk food until 11pm, go home exhausted but having done well.

Preferably lukewarm weather with minimal sun, but not too many clouds. I like early-fall weather. 

13. inside or outdoors?

Inside, definitely. 

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

The Picture of Dorian Gray, Red Dragon, Night, The Count of Monte Cristo, His Majesty’s Dragon

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

Its certainly more information than I give to people face to face. I’m far more myself textually than in person, mostly because words are hard on the spot. So yeah, I’d say so. This is sort of everything I think of at any given moment, really. Nearly filterless. 

19. which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

Slytherin all the way. 

21. do you love easily?

Extremely. 

23. how often would you want to see your family every year?

Nnnnnot often. At all. Ever. Leave me alone plz and thank. 

25. could you live as a hermit?

Gods no. My parents are trying to do that right now and have been my entire life and I am so fucking sick of it. Im tired of bitter isolationism. 

27. do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

I do my best. As in, I’m very multifaceted and I dress per my mood. If I’m feeling playful, I’ll dress in pastels and cute things. I’m im feeling cheeky, maybe something more 1970s pinup, or if I feel powerful I’m going to dress like a queen or an empress with headgear and everything. 

29. three songs that you connect with right now.

The Dope Show by Marilyn Manson

Dead Again by Elena Siegman

Aura by Yuki Kajiura

Been really feelin these lately, which is weird bc Marilyn Manson and Yuki Kajiura, at least those particular songs, I havent heard in years. Also, holy fuck Im so glad I downloaded the .hack soundtracks when i did because I cant find them anywhere. 

Thank you !!!

#hystericalnoisemaker #murmur mortis #necrocallos

[eddisfargo]

CoMC Chapter 67

CHAPTER 67

At the Office of the King’s Attorney

30 minutes

Oooh shoot, the situation has changed--Villefort knows MC is not his friend. Because it turns out he is fully aware there was no baby skeleton buried in the yard for him to find. He tried to dig it up a year after the fact and found it gone. And he even knows it was surrendered to the orphanage and he EVEN knows it was claimed by some lady (although he couldn’t find the lady). And he even knows it’s Andrea Cavalcanti! 

Just kidding about that last part, he definitely does not know that. 

Interesting monologue about doing regrettable things in a moment of fear that you realize later you could’ve done differently, that clearly applies to what he did to Poor Edmond. Which ends with him saying women don’t feel remorse because there mistakes aren’t due to their own actions, just things that have been done to them. As a woman, oh yeah, that’s definitely my experience. Yup, you’ve got us pegged, Dumas. I mean, I guess it’s not quite fair to attribute a Villefort quote directly to Dumas--he’s a villain, after all, not necessarily a mouthpiece for the author--but this monologue kind of seemed like actual philosophy, not something the narrative was denouncing. But who knows.

Also, we hear the story about Bertuccio’s failed murder--it wasn’t mistaken identity after all, he was only mostly dead. 

Also, glad I never tried to spell Mrs. Danglars’s name. Sounds like Ermine, which is an animal and sounded silly so I never wrote it. Turns out it’s (probably) Hermine, hence the H on the baby’s blanket. 

Anyway, Villefort is now going to try to figure out just who TF this Monte Cristo guy is. I wonder if MC knows that that particular part of the jig is up…

Also. Importantly. It seems like they totally didn’t intentionally kill the baby? They just thought it was dead and buried it in secret? Which, to me, is… not what infanticide is? I think the evidence MC presented at the dinner party when that possibility was presented was “if it wasn’t murder, why did they bury it in a box in the yard like a hamster? This was never a cemetery.” but obviously we know it’s because it’s an affair baby they’d rather keep secret (although it seems like the husband kind of figured it out when he came home to a very pregnant wife, and he did in fact kill himself in shame, so… there’s that). 

But anyway, what passes for infanticide, then? Just… not baptizing it or whatever? Or is it just that they can’t prove it wasn’t? Or… I don’t know, but it seems (operative word) like no one attempted murder after all. Except Bertuccio lol.

#Eddis Reads Monte Cristo #count of monte cristo #spoilers #I mean I guess it's possible V really did try to murder the baby #and Mme D just doesn't know #but it really seems like she feels as guilty as you'd expect for actual murder #and how do you fail to kill a baby #what is he Voldemort? #Villedefort? #That's way too funny to be in tags #oh well

[alainguillotpodcast]

AG 026 The Escape Artist

http://www.alainguillot.com/the-escape-artist/

Bernie, The Escape Artist, is a blogger based in England.

The name of the blog came from the classic movie The Grand Escape which plays every Christmas in England.

His blog is about helping people get out of the financial prison camp in which many of us end up.

If you are working on a job you don’t like or if you are in debt, you are in a prison-like situation.

Breaking out of prison requires slow deliberate work which can have a huge payoff.

Although not poor, during his childhood Bernie developed some anxiety about money. His parents bought the biggest house they could afford. Shortly after the purchase interest rates went up in England to 17%. This series of events put Bernie’s parents under a lot of stress.

Bernie decided he didn’t want that kind of life for himself, he chose a career which would pay him well and he decided not to climb escalator of lifestyle inflation.

He tried to get a job as an investment banker, but because he wasn’t able to find a job in that field, he went into accounting. Bernie wanted to send signals to his future employer that he was serious about earning money.

Bernie’s view on education is that education is an investment and he wanted a return for his money. Not to be critical, but some careers don’t offer many job opportunities, the return on investment is minimal and they can be considered a 3 year study holiday.

Education in England, as in Canada, is partly subsidized by the government. Students don’t go into massive student debt to get an education. In the United States, some students can be harmed for the rest of their lives with the huge student debt they incur.

After graduation, Bernie decided to live in a low-income neighborhood as opposed to a higher level neighborhood that he could afford.

In addition, Bernie walked or cycled to work to save money. According to Bernie, cars are money incinerating units. People living in big cities don’t need a car. Having a car can be a big hurdle in the journey to financial freedom.

The best way to get around in London is by bicycle, and you get the added benefit of getting in better shape.

Bernie climbed the professional ladder, he worked in mergers and acquisitions, and he got paid to learn how to value stocks.

He started applying the lessons he learned at work in his personal life.

If people would apply the same amount of care and attention to their personal finance as they do to the work they do for their employer, everyone would be much better physically, emotionally, and financially.

Bernie himself gave his best energy, time, mental focus to his employer, but he had a plan. He was slowly putting some money away. He knew he would not be in his job forever, so he wanted to give his best and he wanted to take out the most.

Money is power. The money that you hang on to, it gives you freedom, it gives you choices.

When Bernie was about 32 years old his wife got pregnant with their second child. It was a family decision that she would stay at home to take care of the kids and Bernie was the sole breadwinner. At this same time, he started working at a job he hated. At this moment he felt in prison, in prison because of the added responsibility of a new child while not having another job option at the moment.

The initial plan was to slash the spending to the minimum. Finally, Bernie found another job in which he was feeling better, but he continued saving because once he cut down on spending money, he realized he didn’t miss any of the stuff he cut off from his regular spending. The more he saved, the more his scape fund grew and the more felt he was on the path of financial security.

At that time, the concept of financial independence was not a common concept. This was before Mr. Money Mustache, before Early Retirement Extreme, so Bernie was exploring new territory with no guidance from anyone else.

Some of the unnecessary spending that Bernie eliminated was: restaurants, shopping, buying stuff, going out on mini-breaks like going to Rome or Vienna, Prague.

There was a bit of resistance on the part of Bernie’s wife when faced with big cutbacks, but also there was the understanding that working long hours, indefinitely was not the solution either.

One of the challenges to cutting back was the social factor. Their friends continued spending as always, so Bernie and his wife had to mentally disconnect in order to stick to the plan. In prison talk, their friends were institutionalized.

A book recommendation to deal with what other people may think about you is: Not Caring What Other People Think is a Superpower.

As far as investments, Bernie learned to like steady Eddy, boring companies. On the other hand, glamour and excitement are traps. So investing is partly quantitative, but it’s mainly about controlling your emotions, it’s about not getting carried away, it’s about NOT falling in love with a particular stock, it’s realizing that you want to play the percentages and you don’t want to strike out. The biggest lesson was that the less exciting a stock was, the better.

Bernie’s portfolio is 80% stocks, 20% bonds. The stock part is 50% individual stocks and the other 50% is index funds.

We spoke about the home bias tendency in investing (the tendency for investors to invest a large percentage of their money in domestic equities) and how the Vanguard All Word Index may be a good solution to solve the home bias.

Having his savings, earnings, and investing in place, it was time to make a move, to go for financial independence. There were several blogs which served as inspiration, some of those blogs where: Monevator, Mr. Money Mustache, J.L. Collins, and The Mad Fientist Podcast. After reading about the 4% rule, Bernie did some calculations and discovered that he had enough to retire.

After a conversation with his wife, the only step left was to wait 4 months, until his last bonus was paid off. Ironically, after Bernie gave his notice of resignation he was asked to stay a bit longer as an independent contractor. The transition from employee to financially independent was slow and smooth.

We spoke about The Count of Monte Cristo, who was a prisoner for many years until he made his escape. It’s not just about the scape, but it’s a journey of self-improvement and knowledge. The Count of Monte Christo represents many of the themes evoked in financial independence.

When Bernie gave notice that he would be leaving his job, he noticed that the power dynamic of employer vs. employee had shifted. No longer was the employer the party with most of the power. Now he, the employee, had as much power as the employer. They were dealing as equals, both parties working to achieve a common goal. Unlike the regular employer-employee relationship where one party is dependent on the other for subsistence.

Being smart with your money doesn’t have to be about early retirement. Financial independence is about giving yourself choices.

We spoke about the movie The Shawshank Redemption, where one of the prisoners is so institutionalized that he has a hard time dealing with life in the free world. Having enough money is not enough for financial independence, you must have enough mental fortitude to walk out even when the gates are open.

We spoke about the books that shaped Bernie’s thinking about financial independence before and after the breakout.

Final thoughts:

The idea of aggregation of marginal gains. Everything is optimized to achieve a particular objective, and it’s the aggregation of all those little details that create the big change, the successful execution of the goal.

The Principles of Life Hacking. Read the blog post right here.

Check out this episode!

[fridge246]

Tagged by: @mermaidsforpansexuality

Relationship Status: single and unavailable 

Favourite Colour: Lavender, cool grey, peacock blue, and maybe gold??

Lipstick or Chapstick: ...i don’t wear either

Last song I listened to: this

Last Movie I Watched: No idea? ...okay actually i think this one is probably the last movie i saw all the way through. 

 ....don’t talk to me about it or i’ll rant for an hour though

and then i watched the very start of the count of monte cristo with celestine. --she tells me it’s not very book-accurate

Top 3 Characters: *gestures despairingly at my dozens of faves*

Top 3 Bands/Artists: honestly i don’t pay attention to who sings what most of the time

Books I’m currently reading: I have some random okay-ish scifi novel and the book version of the count of monte cristo up on my phone- but i haven’t touched either since finals started.

i tag.... uh @eddis-not-eeddis? @maysartcorner? if you want to/have time

#fridge answers

[eddisfargo]

CoMC Chapter 117--THE LAST CHAPTER

CHAPTER 117

The Fifth of October

38 minutes

THIS IS IT, YOU GUYS! The LAST chapter!! And look at that name--we’re closing it off with just one last Dumas Countdown™, because this is the deadline at which our sad little son is supposed to kill himself. And/or discover Juliet. 

And I am off to listen! Wish me luck!!

OK I’M BACK, and I listened to it last night, and posted my “FIN” interlude, and now I’m finishing this! So bittersweet!!

So…… I don’t know what I was expecting. Hahaha I mean I guess I do, and in some ways it was spot on, but I was kind of expecting Val to pop in and stop Morrel from killing himself, not for MC to just… give him fake poison. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Time to do the thing I’ve been doing where I put the book on doublespeed and skip around! 

Also I didn’t do that and it’s days later because I procrastinated this for some reason wanted to give the story some time to marinate so I’m doing something unprecedented and I’m going to post this immediately after I write it. If I’d queued it like normal it would’ve gone up at like 4am today but it’s 10:30am and I still haven’t written it. (11:30am by the time I’m posting it! lol) Every other chapter went up by last night! But hey, LONG ONE INCOMING. 

Getting this out of the way in advance so I don’t have to end on this note: Albert is not, after all, ever mentioned again. 

So Morrell is sailed into Monte Cristo (the island not the d00d) by a guy who turns out to be Yucky Jacopo. He is a very sad guy because this is the last day of his life (no it isn’t), but he gets all happy when he sees his bff MC. And MC is happy too--he’s all laughy, which Morrel notes as him basically being a different person. But MC’s like “OH YEAH I FORGOT THAT HAPPINESS IS FLEETING” like okaaaaay. And Morrel’s like “well glad that you’re either feigning happiness for my comfort or you’re totally OK with my death which is in like 3 hours.” and MC’s like “I chose c) none of the above.” 

And MC’s like “wait you’re not feeling better? Weird!” And he does this WEIRD interrogation of exactly what kind of sad Morrel is and whether he’s “consoled” or not (“consoled” apparently includes being basically heart-dead). Morrel’s happy because MC’s going to give him a nice easy death and he can die in a friend’s arms. And it turns out Max has been kind of hoping for a miracle which is clearly not coming after all (yes it is). 

So Max is like “OK you know how you know literally everything and are basically from a higher plane and I trust you absolutely?” and MC’s like “yes that’s correct, go on?” (the higher plane is called “grief” btw). 

So it turns out MC’s concerned that Max is… not unhappy enough to be saved, and that would be horrible, because it wouldn’t be proper repentance for his sins. So MC’s like “here have $100 million and now you don’t have to die!” and Max is like “frist of all how DARE yo u” and MC’s like “OK phew just making sure”

So MC hands him the poison and goes “hey I’ll do it too!” and Max is like “but you love people and people love you!” (umm, don’t you have an adorable sister??) “in YOUR case it’d be a crime! No doing that, but I’ll give Valentine your regards. Toodles!” And he just… drinks it. And starts to fade out. Now obviously at this point it’s not real poison, haha. It’s definitely a drug though, because he can’t move or speak and is feeling all wonky. But then VALENTINE WALKS IN!!! Oh my god, she wasn’t dead???? This whole time??? I had NO IDEA!!! 

Now I was a bit worried at this point that he’d just… never believe he didn’t die. Like that this was heaven and no one could prove it wasn’t, haha. But that didn’t quite end up happening. So anyway they’re together now, and that’s MC’s atonement. And now MC goes “GIVE ME YOUR GRATITUDE. I NEED IT TO LIIIIIIIVE. POUR YOUR THANKS INTO MY EAR IT IS MY NOURISHMENT.” And Val totally does. But also she calls Haydee her sister, and MC’s like “oh good you love her that’s great because she’s yours now. I’m setting her free and making her a princess again.” 

And Haydee’s like “Yeah that’s fine, whatever you say. No I mean that literally. I will do WHATEVER YOU SAY ALWAYS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. IF YOU YOU WANT TO [dramatic swoon motion, I assume] CAST ME OFF, I WILL GO! AND DIE! BECAUSE YOU SAY SO!” 

And MC’s like “wait wait wait wait wait are you saying you like… like me or something?” 

And Haydee’s like “I’ve literally been telling you that the entire book. I love you like an immediate family member! Where ‘immediate family member’ is a set containing ‘husband’!” 

And MC’s like “Oh I guess I can be happy then. Like I said in that one chapter that made Eddis so mad. FYI she’s still not cool with this at all, but it’s whatever.” (What a weird thing for Dumas to write in, amirite?)

So they go off to have their happily ever after or whatever and then Max wakes up and is like “wtf I’m not dead! That traitor!” and picks up a knife to finish the job and Valentine goes “I mean or maybe not do that?” And Max is like whaaaaat? Except also he just accepts it instantly. So they go off into the sunset.

They get a note from MC who, it turns out, just… left. Without saying anything. Off to go marry Haydee, one assumes. And speaking of what he left… his houses and stuff to Morrelentine, for starters. Which should be interesting. They’re actually going back to Paris? The city in which she’s supposed to be buried right now? That won’t be a scandal or anything, haha. But whatever, I guess there’s plenty of scandals in Paris. People will get over it eventually. Maybe. Anyway we did need to get Max back to Julie and Emmanuel. That’ll be a nice little family for Valentine, who’s never known love like they have just all the time.

Also Noirtier’s totally waiting for them in Foghorn Leghorn, where he wants to bless the marriage and presumably live with them forever. MC suggests that Val give her whole fortune to charity and also drops in “oh hey literally everyone else in your family is either dead or lost their damn mind, fyi.” But anyway she won’t really need the fortune now they’ve got Monte Cristo bux--because he’s leaving them the grotto treasure. 

So MC suddenly feels humility and remorse and realizes he’s not God, only God is God and he’s just some guy. And why did he let Max suffer so much when Valentine was liTERALLY ALIVE THE WHOLE TIME OMG? Because happy and sad only exist in their contrast to each other, and he needed to be vairy vairy sad before he could properly be vairy vairy happy. You have to die to appreciate life. And apparently all human wisdom is summed up in two words: Wait and hope. 

That seemed it should be the last line of the book, but it keeps going with their reactions. Except spoiler, it totally IS the last line of the book when Valentine repeats it. After the two of them wonder if ever see their father/sister again. 

WAIT AND HOPE. Audible hopes you have enjoyed this program! 

AND SO IT ENDS. (Also that Audible message sounded SO FAST after how slow our narrator talks--I really don’t think this book would be 53 hours read by anyone else, haha. But he did a great job though! Especially at 45% increased speed)

I still can’t believe it’s over! I’m already like halfway through my next audiobook, haha, because it’s actually a reasonably-lengthed book. 

EDDISFARGO HOPES YOU HAVE ENJOYED THIS PROGRAM. 

#Eddis Reads Monte Cristo #count of monte cristo #spoilers #IT ENDED OMG #Thanks so much for following along through all of this #it's been a really really good time #off to check out some memes!