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struwwelzeter · 4 years

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Thank you these were so interesting 🖤

Du reicht so gut; tell an interesting fact

Hieroglyphs are a syllable. Lots of people don’t know this, and it’s a pet peeve of mine. There’s this meme going around like “look at all these emojis we’re back to using hieroglyphs” - no we aren’t. Hieroglyphs encode sounds, namely syllables, not entire words or feelings. They’re not a picture story, they’re fancy looking letters and there is a shorthand used by the egyptian bureaucrats that looks alot more like want we think of as writing. Speaking of which: people that bash emojis are not be trusted. We’ve changed from writing in elaborate sentences to what is essentially transcribed conversation in chats, and emojis add something to the conversation that can avoid misunderstanding and are therefore very useful. She says and doesn’t use a single emoji. Anyway.

Nebel; Describe your favorite fantasy

I’m not sure I understand. Regarding what. Is this asking me what I daydream about? Holding a celebrated talk at a conference in my field would be pretty high up. House by the see. Marry a Rockstar. Not really because I don’t buy into marriage as an idea, but I’ll settle for being the one they write songs about. Almost happend once and then it didn’t - he didn’t get to be a rockstar either tho so it probably just wasn’t to be. Other than that, Dragons are really cool. Are we still trying to come up with radically different ways to organise societies, because I would be up for building a new utopia. I hope this covers most of it.

Te quiero puta!; Sluttiest thing you’ve done

I like to tell myself I’m a very non-slutty person, and genuinly am I think ever since then, but I cheated on my first long term boyfriend. I was telling myself I was just waiting for a less devastating moment to tell him, and I was actually deeply in love with the dude I did it with, but uhm, low point. He did find out eventually, after we broke up. He was mad for a bit and then asked me to be his best man at his wedding. We’re still best friends. I got lucky like that.

Ich tu Dir Weh; Describe your best concert memory

Oh I can’t decide. But 3teeth in february was really special. I might over idealize it now because it was the last band I saw before the pandemic, but it was also just genuinly so good. I don’t know if this was by accident or by design, but it was so dark you just couldn’t take pictures so everybody just left their smartphones away, and it did the whole experience wonders. I haven’t gotten this lost in the ecstasy since 2005 I think and I believe everybody there felt that. I was hurting all over the next day, couldn’t remember a thing but I remember it was the best time I had in years. If I could, I’d ban smartphones from concerts. It’s a concervative dick take, but honestly - just look at any 90s/early 2000s gig footage and tell me I’m wrong.

Was Ich leibe; Two things you love

Graphic Design and Music.

Diamant; weirdest thing about you

I don’t know. I generally take it as a compliment when people say I’m weird, so maybe that. I think the reason I’m often considered to be weird tho is that I’m very empathetic and empathize with so many people I usually don’t take sides, which is something most people don’t like, because I guess they can’t be quite sure of my ... allegiance maybe? and I understand why, but yeah. Maybe that idk.

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abortionmonologues · 5 years

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Abortion Monologue #22

In 2010 I found myself pregnant. I will not get into the mundane (or not so mundane) mechanics of it except to say that I was devastatingly unprepared, in more ways than one, and terrified out of my wits. There was something in me that knew I was pregnant before the one friend I felt comfortable enough to tell, convinced me to do the test. I had done one before but it was too early. Despite that initial negative, I knew. I remember it like it was yesterday. We planned a time when neither of us had classes, from the night before. The next day we met and walked to the university health centre; my heart beating at unhealthy rates. When we got there she did the dirty work for me. She purchased the test and took the mandatory talk by the nurse while I waited outside, trying desperately to calm my overworked nerves. She came out several minutes later and we walked to the bathroom to get it over with. I took several deep breaths before I entered that dreadful corner stall. I stood there looking at it, willing myself not to get an anxiety attack while simultaneously willing the little white stick not to get two lines when I peed on it. I eventually got around to doing it and left the stall to await my fate. The longest three minutes of my life. I gave it to my friend to break the news, being too nervous to look at it myself. She never said yes or no. Just a nod. I was officially pregnant. Confirmation is a bitch. I felt dizzy. I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn’t come. I needed to be calm to keep that impending anxiety attack at bay and I think I did it by stepping outside of myself. Suddenly I was calm. I could hear my friend telling me it was going to be ok and trying to explore my options with me. I knew it was going on but it no longer felt like it was happening to me. We walked back to the centre of campus. My next class was in less than 15 minutes. The rest of that day dragged on and on with me just going through the motions. It didn’t hit me until I got home that night. I was pregnant and I had no fucking clue what I was going to do. I cried myself to sleep that night and several nights after that. I had never felt so alone in my entire life. I started feeling sick every day. No, not just in the morning, all the fucking time. At first I couldn’t eat at all without throwing up. Then I couldn’t have enough to eat. Then all I wanted was god-forsaken St. Mary’s banana chips and 7-up all damn day. My hormones were out of kilter, I cried at the drop of a hat and I just could not deal. I realized that I could not deal with the changes my body was going through much less to handle and throw myself head first into motherhood. I was in no place financially or emotionally to care for a child. I began despising the thing inside me that was causing me all this anguish but mostly l hated myself for the way things were. I found everything to blame myself for. It was easier to deal with the disgust I felt for myself than to face the real problem. That I was pregnant and I didn’t want to be. Now I had always been pro-choice. I strongly felt that a woman’s body belonged to her and therefore the decision to keep or not keep a foetus inside that body was solely hers. It was not so black and white when I was in the position where I had to choose. I felt extremely guilty about wanting to abort. I struggled with the decision for a very long time. My position had not really changed. I still believed that only women could decide this for themselves. While in the position however I could not isolate myself from the cultural context I grew up in and was surrounded by. Suddenly I was aware that every taxi or bus I ended up on was playing one of the many vitriolic songs that vilified women for exercising their sexual and reproductive health rights. Every ‘dash weh belly’ and 'walking cemetery’ song felt like a personal attack. I was even more confused. Maybe I am a bad person for wanting to do this. Perhaps I am indeed being selfish. After class one day I went to my lecturer, whom I trusted and had somewhat developed a relationship with, and asked about her position on abortions. As expected, she said she was pro-choice. We had a brief (and general) conversation about it and I started to feel better. Somebody understood; even if it was in a vacuum. Not long after that I told her I was pregnant, that I didn’t know what to do and she was supportive. This became the only solace for me. I stopped going to school and classes except when I had her classes. Even when we didn’t talk, seeing her was enough to remind me that I had someone on my side who wasn’t judging me. By this time however I had isolated myself from my friends, who were my main source of support. I was unreachable to all the people I cared about and who cared about me. Perhaps it was my own doing but I was so alone that it hurt physically. There were times when I had anxiety attacks because I felt unloved. Why was nobody there? I didn’t feel that I could talk to anyone about it. About how hard it was physically and mentally. How I often thought death was the only way out. I was depressed and doing poorly in school which brought on even more feelings of hopelessness. In all the back and forth with my conscience and dealing with the everyday task of getting out of bed, I had not been taking time into consideration. One day while walking from class an acquaintance joked that I looked fat. The hysteria that gripped my soul after this encounter cannot be explained. This was happening and I needed to make a decision fast. I then found out from my very good friend Google that I was further along in medical terms than I thought because it is checked from your last period. Full blown panic. What if it was too late and I was forced to carry this foetus to full term? I was devastated. In my heightened state of hysteria I turned to my lecturer who found a trustworthy doctor for me to go to. Did I mention that I was broke? Oh yes, I was. I had a fairly expensive phone and I sold it. I scheduled my appointment and was told I could come in that afternoon. My heart and mouth were in the same place as I listened for my name in that tiny waiting area. I looked at all the other patients suspiciously. I wondered if they knew why I was there. If it was written on my forehead. When it was my turn to see the doctor I walked slowly inside and to stop myself from freezing up I blurted “I think I’m pregnant and I’m not sure I want it.” At this point I knew I didn’t. My mind was made up but I couldn’t bring myself to say the word abortion. I also didn’t want him to think I was flippant. I needed him to know that I struggled with the decision. I mentioned school and other activities I was involved in to convince him that I wasn’t careless. Perhaps I was trying to convince myself too. After a routine check up we agreed on the next morning to do the procedure. I was relieved. But the next morning came and I could not go. I just wasn’t able to. I was emotionally drained and wasn’t able to face it. I did not get out of bed that day. I cried until I just couldn’t cry anymore. That night I looked in the mirror and spoke to myself and the foetus. I told her (I imagined it to be a girl) that I liked her but she couldn’t be inside me anymore. I told her that I had things to do, dreams to fulfil, places to see and growing up to do before I could do a good job of taking care of her. I didn’t know I had gotten so attached and it was heartbreaking. The next morning I got up and went for the procedure sans thoughts. The waiting time was long, which threatened to give me cold feet but I stuck it out. I did paperwork (read: fake and code stuff because this was illegal). In the operating room, after prepping, I was given anaesthesia and asked to count to five. The last thing I remember was saying three…. A couple hours later when I woke up groggy, it was quite fitting that the island was placed on hurricane watch. I felt like the after effects of a hurricane for several months after. The bigger half of me was relieved but a slightly smaller half was sad and regretful. It took me a long time to understand that I did the best with what I had and needed to forgive myself. Today I am ok with the decision I made. It was the best decision for me at the time and I am at peace. Yes, there are still moments when I try to envision what could’ve been or something triggers a bad memory but I am no longer regretful. Up to this point I have avoided any serious contemplation and reflection on this part of my past because it is unpleasant and rakes up old wounds. It rests greatly on me how many women, and especially young girls, go through this alone. So as I come out to and for myself, I also come out for all those women who think they are facing it alone and that they’ll never survive. It gets better. We often blame and shame women for making these decisions but do we take the time to understand in a nuanced way? I have met many women who have terminated pregnancies and it is never easy. The moral debate will possibly rage on into eternity but in the meantime can we support women so they can continue to be healthy and productive citizens? There is a perception that it is careless women who access abortion services but we’d be surprised at the people around us who’ve had to terminate pregnancies for whatever reason.

——–

Addendum: I wrote this 5 years ago when I contemplated publishing it in the newspapers. I ultimately decided not to. I wasn’t sure I was ready for the kinda 'fame’ that would inevitably come with it. There’s also no statute of limitations on abortions and mi nuh think jail would a fit mi.

Anyhow, I now have a toddler. When I found out I was pregnant this time, I felt ready enough - especially emotionally and financially. We are doing well. No regrets.

#abortion #abortion monologues #jamaica #jamaican #abortions

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frhnii · 5 years

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Hey

So let's talk about happines? My name itself means happiness. Why not, right? Hmm, let's choose one event from my memories.

*spin the roulette wheel of memories

*intense music playing 😖

AHA

I'm gonna talk about my younger siblings

‐ two little demons and angels at the same time

Well, there are sure a lot of memories that we have together as I grew with them since they are in their stinky diapers. They are my minions, my friends, my teammates, my other half(?), my supporters and my everything.

Before that 🙌 I'm gonna talk about my older siblings first

Tbh, I have three older brothers, and one older sister. But they were so horrible towards me when I was a little kid. 😂 I had a WWE fight with my brothers. And when I said WWE, I means it. FOR REAL! But yeah, I'm strong enough to withstand all the pain. ( I am a strong little girl! 💪🏼). I really thought they all hate me 😢. My older bro always slamdunk me, he will throw me on the bed and then leave like nothing has happened. Andddd he always fart right on my face! The heck! 🤮 I am devastated. Sedih siaa akuuuuu. My sec bro, hmmmm... I don't know 😂 he was so quite back then. Like, totally shut off his life and sit in his own world. But there's one day when he was so angry and shut my mouth with his hand while giving a death warning to me. Yeah, I always play at the playground until maghrib and he was responsible to call me back home. So maybe he was tired of it. Of course, because all he did that time were study, study and study. Geez, such a nerd. My third bro, hmm I am quite close to him. We're always together until my younger siblings come 😂 lol. Dasar, dah ade adik kecik lupakan orang lain! Then yeah, now we're not so close like the old we. Haha. He knows all of my secret. But he is a keeper. So it's okay. He used to kick, punch and yell at me. I hate him 😂 but I love him. Next, my sister. She is a demon 😂 we are not so close I think? She doesn't care at all about me and I am a nuisance to her only. Once she slapped me because I had a fight with my younger sister. Not a good way to teach a kid, but different family, different way of them in showing their love, right? 🤔 Fortunately, masing² dah besar, and bond antara kitorang rapat walaupun semakin jauh antara satu sama lain. Lagi² lepas ayah dah takde. Still teringat janji-janji mereka untuk jaga kitorang sebab yeah kitorang masih kecik and hilang tempat bergantung harap. I love themmmso muchhhhhhhhh 😭😭😭❤❤❤

*last vacay with ayah kat Putrajaya, siapalah pula potong bawang ni lahaiiiiii

Now focus balik kat minions aku! 👩‍👧‍👦

*nampak tak ketinggian dorang tu 😭

So yang kanan tu, muda dua tahun dari aku. Si kiri muda 4 tahun. Kanan tu... idk, aku memang open up gila dengan dia. If kitorang gaduh, esoknya akan elok balik cause we need each other. Heee Bila aku rasa nak peluk dia, nak cium dia, aku datang dekat ngan dia hahahaha yaaa aku memang suka cium pipi dia. Eventhough fia dah besar. Lol how aku manjakan dia. Tapi dia ni suka au bagi ayat savage dia kat aku. Output yang dia bagi kat aku, tak setara dengan input yang aku bagi. Tapi still aku sayang dia. Lepas abis PASUM ni akan aku belanja dia makan sedap²!

Kiri pulak, si bongsu yang aku panggil busu(k). Dia ni suka sangat bergantung harap kat aku 😭😂 Asyik minta aku balik rumah je. Padahal nak ajak main game je! Hahhahahha, dia juga aku selalu bagitahu masalah aku kat dia. Sejenis yang suka melayan 💁‍♀️ aku pun suka dengar cerita dia. Dia selalu tahu isu² semasa yang memang aku minat ah. Kitorang ade byk benda in commons. Main game? ONZ! Cerita seram? ONZZ! Paling aku suka, bila aku lapar, aku suruh dia masak maggie, dia ikut je weh 😢😢😢 Tengoklah, nanti akak belanja busu pula eh. Cakap je nak pi mana, sis bawakkan haha.

Okay cukup kot 😂 cukup pasal sibs aku. Dah bye

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andrewnimos-blog · 6 years

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Now that my family has gone to sleep and the day has come to an end, I find myself more comfortable talking about the events of the previous day. Or rather, the day before yesterday.

Sam didn’t come yesterday, not to the university fair, not for any meal. I didn’t see him at all and I really was looking forward to it very much, but of course I didn’t want to let on how eager I felt. Yeah. I’m super clingy and desperate. Fuck me, all right?

I was devastated yesterday when the realisation slowly came on me. He didn’t even message me at all to tell me. I could tell the day before that he didn’t really want to come, of course, but it still wasn’t nice of him to do that. He did kinda agree that he would inform me of his plans, but he didn’t.

Right now, I’m just feeling numb. I wish I weren’t, but I am. It’s like, who cares?

Not like my friends really like me, right?

Ha.

Maybe the reason I’m feeling so numb despite the fact that I usually react very badly to things like my friends not liking me is because I don’t actually accept it yet. Maybe I’m in denial. Maybe I say those things but I don’t fully believe it or accept it. Maybe it’ll be more emotionally impactful if I comprehended what it meant.

Funnily enough, yesterday on the university campus two Christians approached me to proselytise, or failing that, have a good chat, which I obliged. I felt fake talking to them. I’m an atheist, and there was this section where blah blah blah meaning in life, Christianity gives you meaning etc and I replied, just because I’m an atheist doesn’t mean I don’t find meaning in life, I actually do. Well, I was lying. I don’t, actually, but I said what I did because it was a part I had to play. I should be feeling more disturbed by my lie, but unfortunately I don’t.

I’ve noticed that when I’m feeling numb, my fantasies about crushes and general romantic interest is greatly lessened. It’s like, ok, they look good. So what? I’m not in the mood to make out even if the other person were willing and able. I’m so not in the mood it’s not funny.

Again, I made a promise which I will probably break in a few days time. I promised myself I wouldn’t talk to my friends. I did this because I had people tell me in quick succession how my overreaction to my friends’ actions was a normal part of life and I had to learn to deal with it. By now I can tell they’re getting frustrated with me, with how I’m letting myself deflate. They were willing to put up with me for a while, and I’m grateful, but now they must be losing their patience. I mean. I’ve realised that many times over the past few months. But, like an addict, I keep coming back for more. For more company and more rambling and more sob stories to prey on their attention and affection. If I were a good person, I’d stop. But I’m not, so I expect I’ll break this promise to myself like so many other promises before.

Funny. I’d normally be tearing up writing that previous paragraph. Its content is pretty sad, after all. But I’m too numb to feel that right now.

Sigh.

I did meet a couple more school mates yesterday at the uni fair. One of them who I used to talk to and hang around with quite a bit - I’ll call him Aero - seemed quite glad to see me. “Woah, Andrew, you’re here today! Which courses are you sitting in for ? etc.” I just nodded and smiled and waved and excused myself in the end. I think I did it because I didn’t want to have to talk to people. Right now, I can’t recall why I did it. I’m just feeling numb. I think sleeping does that to me, though I wish it didn’t.

Sigh.

In other news, another friend who I’d organised a lunch outing with on Thursday - let’s call her Sue - told me she couldn’t make it on that day and asked to reschedule to next week. I said, ok, when are you free? (This was about 3 in the afternoon.) I haven’t had a reply since. But yeah, she’s typically quite erratic with her social media presence so that’s not too upsetting. In any case, if this does go the way of so many of my other planned outings, and gets cancelled, I won’t be too surprised. With any luck, I won’t feel too betrayed and hurt and upset. We’ll see.

Sigh. What’s wrong with me.

I did not enjoy waking up in the morning. It felt too normal. I wanted to hang on to that despair and sadness that I felt before going to sleep. But sleeping made it seem like my mood was reset. I don’t want that. I want to feel the pain. I know that’s not a very healthy way to look at things, but weh, whatever. Sue me.

Sigh.

I wasted today. Normally I already do, but the new iPad is adding to it and definitely not helping. I spent the entire day sitting on the sofa playing puzzle games like crosswords and sudoku and did nothing productive. No reading or piano or learning or anything constructive. I should be feeling more guilty about this, but I’m not, because of how numb I’m feeling. I hope it comes back to bite me later when I’m feeling less numb to remind me of how shitty I’ve been.

There were, in fact, a couple of times today where I felt more or less normal and didn’t actually feel too comfortable with the idea of ‘not existing’, but I’m glad those moments passed and now I’m back to the status quo. Ha.

Sigh.

I’ll be going to sleep soon. I hope I don’t wake up. That would be downright lovely.

If I do wake up, I would have to run with my mom. Then go for a dental appointment. Then have lunch with my mom and brother. Then go shopping for shoes. Then probably the rest of the day will be wasted again. Just kill me already. I’m adding nothing to myself and my family and my friends and this world.

Closing thoughts: when I was writing this, I thought about letting a friend, maybe Aero, read through the posts on my Tumblr. He uses Tumblr, and he’s a friend I haven’t actually spilled my troubles to yet, and I’m sure he’ll be nice about this whole thing like all of them are. But I won’t, and I shouldn’t. I did promise myself not to be so needy. This reminds me, I haven’t gotten around to writing all of my sleters(READ: s-‘leters’. Damn, I’m morbid. I wouldn’t be too comfortable disappearing without writing a few notes, actually.) yet.

Why do I have so many fucking issues.

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lyricsbright · 6 years

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Sour Dub – Puscifer Lyrics

And the angel of the lord led me Into the belly of the holy mother A chamber black as pitch But I felt no fear, only comfort,

For I was as a child in the womb And she bade me “Peer through yonder portal Which looked upon the heavens, And behold! a mournin’ angel”

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

She ascended slowly from far beyond the horizon, Her light like a heavenly finger pointing the way And on yonder wall she traced for me a path Which led me five directions, eight winters to east,

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

And behold! As my feet landed firmly Upon the vital winter of the second score There appeared before me a heavenly star

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

A holy virgin, the bringer of life and breath And she spoke unto me saying “Fear not the movement of the heavens above or the earth below For change is what we are, my child.

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

Righteous are those Who look up and sway with the wind, Who look down and dance with the shifting of the soil, Who swim with the movement of the tides

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

Who seek the truth around them And discover that we are, And have always been, in paradise. The reflections of heaven on earth.” Amen!’

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

And she spoke again saying “Know, my child, That there is no devil seekin’ To cause guilt in the hearts to men.

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

No evil, save blind faith, ignorance, And the desire for the unprepared To blame others for the devastation Left in the wake of change

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

Change, my child Change is in the heavens Change is on this earth Change is all around us

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

And if we Are reflections of the divine We must roll with these changes, For we are these changes.

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

Eyes wide open, We must look upon The heavens as a mirror. Wide awake, aware, deeply breathing

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

And when the ship comes down, my child, You will be there, A true and holy survivor To inherit the kingdom of God.

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

You will rise above the grumbles of the unprepared To greet the new day, To drink from the sweet fruit of the vine, The water of life, the blood of the risen Christ, my child.”

(Je-ho-vah! Yah-weh!)

“Go now, son, Tell them all. The ignorant, the blind paw of dogma, Blinded by faith, the doubters, the nay sayers.

(Je-ho-vah! Yah-weh!)

Tell them all, child, They cannot see The kingdom of God, They cannot see paradise Unfold before them

(Je-ho-vah! Yah-weh!)

They cannot drink From the chalice Which holds the blood of Christ, The water of life, Until they get right with Jesus.

(Je-ho-vah! Yah-weh!)

Until they get right with Jesus. It’s always gonna be Sour grapes with you, boy, Until you get right with Jesus. Amen!”

(Je-ho-vah! Yah-weh!)…

The post Sour Dub – Puscifer Lyrics appeared first on Lyrics Bright.

from Lyrics – Lyrics Bright http://www.lyricsbright.com/lyrics/sour-dub-puscifer/

#Lyrics – Lyrics Bright

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zanephobia-blog · 7 years

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Saturday, September 30 '17

Yesterday, we had our crossfit trial at Primal Ape. Our company organized this activity to help us stay fit which I actually enjoyed with some of my officemates. Anyways, this is not actually what I'm going to share with you guys. So here it is and here I go. Last September 28, we had a photography activity where we will be taking photos of random people, sceneries, and food using our mobile phone. It was a fun activity but unfortunately "Time" is not a friend of ours. I was partnered with the super daldal, super hyper at super makulit na si Yves. We already took photos, however, we don't have copies yet. Since time is running out and we need to submit the task at 9PM, we decided to finish everything at my house since I'm near. As we got home, we started editing the photos then come up with copies. Unfortunately, itong si Yves just kept on talking and talking that I'm having a hard time thinking of write-ups. As he talked, I listened to him and we started to exchange kwentos that I even shared to him my attraction to this "GUY". He just smiled and laughed at me. He said "Bakit siya? Huwag. Bata yun! Child abuse." I laughed and said "Grabe ka naman! Basta na-attract ako sa kanya dahil sa sweetness niya tapos iba kasi yung treatment niya sa akin, eh kahinaan ko pa naman yun. Pero, I know my limits naman dahil committed na ako. Kaya nga minsan umiiwas na lang ako and I'm trying my best to control it. Pero, grabe ka naman sa child abuse..nasaktan ako dun ah! I mean, when it comes to love naman age doesn't matter." He replied, "Oo naman, kaya lang..Huwag siya tapos married ka pa." I just said, "Alam ko naman yun. Kaya nga attracted lang hindi yung super attracted." Then he suddenly told me, "Pero, parang may nararamdaman ako, na iba nga ang treatment niya sa'yo. Tapos minsan parang nagseselos kasi di nagco-comment sa groupchat eh usually mabilis mag-chat yun." I just smiled and said to him, "Weh? Paano mo naman nasabi yang mga yan?" He replied, "Ramdam ko. Lalaki eh." Knowing what he said I just brushed it off saying, "Weh? Bahala na." He just laughed again kasi he wasn't expecting this. Na-shookt siya in short. Our convo ended and then we started talking about other stuff while at the same time doing the task at hand. Yesterday, at the start of the day - we're all in a good mood. Less task, less pressure and less everything. Chill kung chill. The "GUY" I'm attracted to just started sending me PMs, our convo started with what happened dun sa socmed activity then so on and so forth until we started to tease each other. For some reason, tamang kwentuhan na may asaran lang. Aba! My feelings again started to build up when I started to get jealous during our lunch at the pantry. I sensed kasi that one of my friends (girl) there who is younger than me ay katabi siya. Actually, sinadya ko na to sit at the other side of the table para nga makaiwas na rin kasi we're really getting so close to each other. I noticed that yung friend (girl) ko just started to move her chair close to him, not once but thrice! I got a little jealous but pretended not to care. We we're teasing someone else sa loob ng pantry si "Cielo" when she suddenly included herself in the convo trying to turn tables para mapunta sa kanya at kay "GUY" ang usapan. We we're creating a love team kasi between those two but it was way back. Right now, we we're linking this "GUY" sa iba and then parang she's trying hard to lift yung pang-aasar na mapunta ulit sa kanilang dalawa. I was getting a little jealous and I had to control my feelings, kaya since I'm already done eating. I decided to go back at my desk. Trying to calm myself and all. Grabe! I don't know what to do with my feelings anymore. Although kaya ko pa naman siyang i-control. I just can't help it! I am so so so so devastated.

#personal #personal log #random #love

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lyricsbright · 6 years

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Sour Grapes – Puscifer Lyrics

And the angel of the lord led me Into the belly of the holy mother A chamber black as pitch But I felt no fear, only comfort,

For I was as a child in the womb And she bade me “Peer through yonder portal Which looked upon the heavens, And behold! a mournin’ angel”

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

She ascended slowly from far beyond the horizon, Her light like a heavenly finger pointing the way And on yonder wall she traced for me a path Which led me five directions, eight winters to east,

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

And behold! As my feet landed firmly Upon the vital winter of the second score There appeared before me a heavenly star

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

A holy virgin, the bringer of life and breath And she spoke unto me saying “Fear not the movement of the heavens above or the earth below For change is what we are, my child.

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

Righteous are those Who look up and sway with the wind, Who look down and dance with the shifting of the soil, Who swim with the movement of the tides

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

Who seek the truth around them And discover that we are, And have always been, in paradise. The reflections of heaven on earth.” Amen!’

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

And she spoke again saying “Know, my child, That there is no devil seekin’ To cause guilt in the hearts to men.

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

No evil, save blind faith, ignorance, And the desire for the unprepared To blame others for the devastation Left in the wake of change

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

Change, my child Change is in the heavens Change is on this earth Change is all around us

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

And if we Are reflections of the divine We must roll with these changes, For we are these changes.

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

Eyes wide open, We must look upon The heavens as a mirror. Wide awake, aware, deeply breathing

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

And when the ship comes down, my child, You will be there, A true and holy survivor To inherit the kingdom of God.

(Hal-le-lu-jah!)

You will rise above the grumbles of the unprepared To greet the new day, To drink from the sweet fruit of the vine, The water of life, the blood of the risen Christ, my child.”

(Je-ho-vah! Yah-weh!)

“Go now, son, Tell them all. The ignorant, the blind paw of dogma, Blinded by faith, the doubters, the nay sayers.

(Je-ho-vah! Yah-weh!)

Tell them all, child, They cannot see The kingdom of God, They cannot see paradise Unfold before them

(Je-ho-vah! Yah-weh!)

They cannot drink From the chalice Which holds the blood of Christ, The water of life, Until they get right with Jesus.

(Je-ho-vah! Yah-weh!)

Until they get right with Jesus. It’s always gonna be Sour grapes with you, boy, Until you get right with Jesus. Amen!”

(Je-ho-vah! Yah-weh!)…

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