#Gandalf - old and scary and very competent at his job

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

The idea that GRRM is anti Tolkien is particularly funny because ASOIAF is sprinkled with rather intricate (and even passionate) homages to LOTR. And I can’t help but think of how Tolkien’s Fellowship, more specifically the Hobbits, may have inspired GRRM’s Night’s Watch. Jon Snow, for starters, is in many ways a combination of LOTR’s Frodo and Aragorn. And in the same way that Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin are unexpected heroes in LOTR (because who looks to a hobbit as the face of an epic adventure?), Jon the bastard becomes the leader of a ragtag of socially disenfranchised men (in the form of the NW) who are anything but heroic. Sure there’s the odd knight or noble in there, but the NW is quite full of criminals and the very worst of the social order. The hobbits aren’t the strongest or the sharpest but they become the face of the fight against Sauron. And the NW, while being severely undermanned and under-equipped, has become the main force that stands against winter. GRRM even adds a love letter to Tolkien’s Sam Gamgee by adding his on Sam - Sam Tarly - who acts as a moral compass and counselor to Jon, in the same ways that Sam Gamgee is key to Frodo’s journey. And just like Frodo, Jon gets his very own pair of jokester friends, one of whine is even named Pyp. So it’s all very beautiful and nice, and we should talk about it more because it’s super evident that GRRM is a massive Tolkien fanboy. But I do have to say tho, GRRM’s take on Gandalf is exceedingly hilarious just because Melisandre is famously very bad at her job.

#asoiaf #lord of the rings #lotr #Gandalf - old and scary and very competent at his job #Mel - very old very scary and displays varying levels of competence #jokes aside another cool parallel between Jon and Frodo is that both #choose to embark on this dangerous journey because who else will do it? #Lots of arguing about who will destroy the ring who should have it etc and Frodo is just like #I’m ready to do what needs to be done even if it takes me to Mordor #Which is very similar to Jon who watches the rest of Westeros bicker about some stupid chair #And he’s willing to sacrifice his life and win no glory to save humanity in the face of an existential threat #And don’t think I need to get too much into Jon’s similarities with Aragorn because they’re plain as day #Also the iron throne and the ring of power having cool parallels? #Anyway asoiaf is so heavily inspired by LoTR and grrm is a such a huge fanboy #It’s insane that people think he hates Tolkien or whatever #jon snow #sam tarly #pyp #grenn #the night’s watch #frodo baggins #sam gamgee #merry brandybuck #pippin took #melisandre of asshai #gandalf #valyrianscrolls

[aegor-bamfsteel]

Hello! I was hoping to add a bit to your thoughts on Bloodraven. I agree wholeheartedly with you that Bloodraven is a terrible person and made terrible decisions. But I disagree with you that he’s rewarded for it. The novels do quite a but to frame him as an evil person. Yes he’s a magical greenseer and has a lot of magical power, but he’s also a scary tree person with roots growing in him. He lives in a dark cave he can never leave with creepy elves that have probably killed Bran’s friend. There’s also a lot of theories that Bloodraven drove Euron crazy when testing Euron for magical abilities like he tested Bran. GRRM looks to be setting him up as a dark twist to the wise mentor trope while the show treated him like Gandalf.

Hello, Anon! Bl00draven as a villain is actually a very controversial opinion/theory in tumblr fandom, (which is why I misspell his name and use his anti tag) with at least some considering him a straight-up hero trying to save the world, or an anti-hero who commits atrocities to achieve “noble goals” (including, if I remember correctly, the same person who wrote at least part of the theory that Euron is Bl00draven’s ex-student). I believe Bl00draven is “a terrible person [who] made terrible decisions”, but I’m probably in the minority, (you’d probably find a better discussion with people who think he’s a hero in your analysis of how his character is framed), but you haven’t indicated why you don’t think he’s rewarded for his actions. 

I have written about how the narrative protects Bl00draven from the consequences of his actions in the post you’re responding to, in a response to warsofasoiaf, and a response to godihatethisfreakingcat. In summary:

The two times BR suffers any setback (losing an eye; being sent to the Wall for high treason), it ends up working out for him in the end (not being affected by monocular vision at all if he held his own in a second duel against Aegor Rivers, getting a “scary” reputation and possibly greenseeing powers; having 200 of his personal guard and Prince Aemon accompany him, getting to keep the only Targaryen ancestral sword when he’s supposed to be punished, getting elected Lord Commander despite his horrible tenure as Hand, and deserting the Night’s Watch to become an immortal greenseer despite desertion being a death sentence)

When it looks like BR is going to suffer other setbacks, they magically go away (he and Baelor have a dispute over how to treat the defeated Blackfyre rebels, but Baelor dies before he can become king; he mocks Maekar in front of his own son and unsubtly threatens to kidnap Egg, but is said to have become Maekar’s Hand; his spy network fails to capture Aegor Rivers multiple times and couldn’t keep an eye on his ship as it made way for the Wall, but he isn’t punished for failing to do the one job he promised to do)

BR never had to work to gain anyone’s trust or his positions of authority, despite being terrible at his job (his mother was a friend of Da3ron II’s from birth; he was granted an ancestral Valyrian sword as a teenager despite not being the best swordsman; he gets his first Small Council position by age 20; Da3ron II trusts him enough to start a war on his say-so; Aerys makes him his Hand over his more competent brother Maekar; Maekar keeps him as Hand despite resenting him for decades; he’s made Night’s Watch Lord Commander). Maintaining so much power either undermines your claim that the narrative frames him as a villain (if he’s so untrustworthy, why do the supposed protagonists keep giving him jobs?), or it makes the characters who’ve granted him this power into idiots (at least 2 of whom are lauded as intelligent or clever).

Other villainous characters have done less harm than Bl00draven, but are punished for it while he gets to keep his power:

The infamously corrupt High Septon was torn apart by starving King’s Landing smallfolk during the bread riots of 299

The corrupt Rego Draz, who levied high taxes and tolls on the smallfolk (abuse of the smallfolk amidst a humanitarian crisis? sounds familiar), was stoned to death by a starving mob during the harsh winter and plague of 59

Rhaenyra was believed to have murdered Helaena Targaryen, and her husband did arrange for the murder of Helaena’s son (a parent and two young sons murdered in cold blood? sounds familiar). Thousands of smallfolk rioted out of desire for justice for the three, which caused the death of 5 dragons, Rhaenyra’s remaining son Joffrey, and Rhaenyra’s own flight from the capital. She never regained the throne again

Mysaria of Lys, explicitly compared to Bl00draven as Mistress of Whispers, also arranged for the murder of Helaena’s son Jaehaerys, informed on Nettles to Rhaenyra resulting in a warrant for her death (informing on someone to a monarch baseless rumors resulting in a warrant for their arrest? sounds familiar), and may have contributed to Helaena’s suicide that the riots were about. When King’s Landing fell, she was stripped naked and whipped to death as she was forced to walk out of the city.

Tyanna of Pentos, similarly mistress of whispers like Mysaria, tortured the king’s nephew to death (after having him imprisoned? sounds familiar), tortured dozens of men and women including rumored lover Alys Harroway, kidnapped children to ensure their mother’s good behavior while being repeatedly raped, and allegedly poisoned her fellow queens in order to be Maegor’s true wife. She was brutally murdered by the man she sought to influence, her heart thrown to the dogs

Bl00draven deliberately shot 2 unarmed 12-year-olds in front of their father to win a war, ordered the smallfolk back to their lands during the midst of a drought and after the Great Spring Sickness, caused the death of a young man under suspicious circumstances, threatened to keep the son of his rival a hostage, killed a man he promised safe passage to, denied critical aid to the crown’s vassals during ironborn raids, and created a reign of fear and paranoia that resulted in the deaths of innocent smallfolk. Bafflingly, while there are apparently riots and violence and rebellion, he makes routine trips into Flea Bottom to keep the people in line (yes, the smallfolk in King’s Landing are so complacent to authoritarian rulers as I just mentioned) and survives all of them (relatively) unscathed. Not only does he keep his position as Hand, or gained a new position as Lord Commander, but he lives to a ripe old age before running away to the cave to be an immortal greenseer with infinite knowledge. My point in comparing the actions and consequences of characters similar to Bl00draven is that if the smallfolk or the Targaryens were written consistently, he would’ve been horribly murdered for corruption or insubordination long before he ever met Bran. I understand he would have to live into canon era to be Bran’s mentor; but GRRM broke the rules of his own universe by letting Bl00draven get away with too much to be believable while giving him even more power. It is inconsistent writing that makes his survival due to authorial fiat than any skill or allies. That’s why I consider him possibly the worst-written character in the series.

Bl00draven has not committed enough good deeds to be a hero (in my opinion; other people consider keeping Da3ron’s progeny on the throne for a few generations longer to be heroic). But neither has he suffered for the consequences of his actions like a villain. We know that the Freys and Boltons will face comeuppance for their atrocities in the Red Wedding and at Winterfell because it’s already clear they have sown the seeds of their own destruction; the Freys’ violation of guest right contributed to the breakdown of the rule of law that made honorable parley impossible, and their murder of Catelyn Stark led to Lady Stoneheart in the Riverlands killing Freys with the Brotherhood, and their murder of Wendel Manderly led to his father Wyman orchestrating some of their deaths; the Boltons’ role in the Red Wedding led to nearly universal hatred among the northern lords, and caused the mountain clans to ally with Stannis to get them out, and Ramsay’s rape of who they think is Arya Stark just gives them further cause to resent their traitorous overlords. I don’t have to explain how Tywin’s cult of Lannister supremacy doesn’t survive his death as he’s offed in the most humiliating manner by the son he despised, since Jaime, Cersei, and Tyrion are either imprisoned, enslaved, or in a trial for their life by book 5. Contrast Bl00draven, because the family he most wronged (the Blackfyres) are either no longer around or are uninterested in seeing him brought to justice; he certainly sowed the seeds of destruction, but he never reaped them himself (if anything, he got more powerful); instead the Targaryens did. I don’t see how he will be getting any personal comeuppance in the future, unless he is somehow unplugged from the weirwood network and executed as a deserter to the Night’s Watch (the Starks do have a pattern of executing those guys, so maybe it will be Bran’s turn). Until then, I don’t foresee him being a good asoiaf villain either.

#ask #asoiaf #anti bloodraven #grrm criticism #Asoiaf predictions #valyrianscrolls #villains

[frxstguardian]

My review of the Rebels S4 finale

Overall, I’m very pleased with the finale. It was a proper sendoff to all the characters we love while leaving room for future adventures/stories. It was a fitting conclusion to Ezra’s story, ending where we began on Lothal. For me, Rebels was honestly the most enjoyable part of current Star Wars canon, not the movies, so I eagerly await Dave Filoni’s next animated TV show. 

Spoilers below the cut.

Ezra: This boy has grown up so much since S1, from a street rat to a leader, Jedi, and hero. Opening the last episode with Ezra talking to his parents was a sucker punch to the gut. I’m so proud of how confident/competent he is compared to the scared lost boy from S1. Ezra singlehandedly planned and led a mission to liberate his planet and even put backup plans in place! Also he legit threatened to let the wolves eat Governor Pryce omfg what a badass. Idk why but when he said “one last time” before crawling into the vents like the old days is the exact moment I realized how far he’s come. Back in S1, I used to think Ezra was annoying and generic, but now he’s one of my favorite Star Wars characters and it’s gonna be agony waiting years to see him onscreen again.

Sabine: I thought Sabine would return to Mandalore and retake the Darksaber or at least be Bo-Katan’s second-in-command/heir apparent? Maybe they’ll revisit Mandalore in the next animated TV show idk. But her ending was still fitting. I think she felt she owed it to Ezra to stay and protect Lothal especially since Zeb’s people needed him and Hera wanted to fight with the Rebellion. Also I love that Dave Filoni kept their relationship platonic in the finale. I think it was implied that she’s keeping Ezra’s lightsaber for him?

Hera: Every time any character referred to Hera as “General Syndulla” I ascended to higher dimension. Tbh she didn’t really have much to do in the finale, since her major storylines were earlier in S4. Also Hera randomly wearing makeup in the epilogue scene felt weird/OOC but oh well.

Zeb: I legit thought Zeb was gonna die for a minute during that fight with Rukh. Also is kalluzeb canon now omfg??? I watched an interview where the voice actors for Zeb and Pryce were both like “we ship it” haha.

Thrawn: Thrawn’s monologue to Ezra where he completely outmaneuvered the rebels really showed why he’s a scary opponent. I can’t believe the Bendu was being literal when he prophesized Thrawn’s defeat in S3... Filoni knew all along and played us just like with Ahsoka and those Topps cards. Also Thrawn’s henchman Rukh was so annoying and not interesting as a villain, I’m glad he’s finally dead lmao. Since both Ezra and Thrawn survived I’m interested how his character will be relevant moving forward.

Pryce: I liked Governor Pryce in the finale after she was pretty bland in S3. The voice actress did a really good job. The interaction between Pryce and Kallus acknowledging their shared history as Imperial officers was a nice touch. Also Thrawn didn’t have to obliterate her entire life with “I expected Governor Pryce to fail, but not so completely” but he DID and it was SAVAGE.

Palpatine: Okay Palpatine was so good in this episode! His grandfatherly Chancellor persona dressed in white was so unnerving since we know what he really looks like. The hologram flickering into his hooded Emperor persona was freaky in a good way. Ian McDiarmid’s voice acting was impeccable. I was expecting him to say “DO IT” but he never did haha.

Ahsoka: I’m glad Ahsoka only showed up at the end. It would’ve distracted from the main cast otherwise. Bless Dave Filoni for confirming she lives post-ROTJ though. Her Gandalf the White cosplay was stunning a;lsdkfjal;dj.

Miscellaneous: Honestly wasn’t expecting the purrgil and yeah it’s a deus ex machina but it was a nice callback and a clever solution to the “where is Ezra during the OT?” problem. Ezra couldn’t defeat Thrawn but he could remove both himself and Thrawn from the equation and finally give the rebels an advantage. I guess Filoni got around “Scarif was the first major victory for the Rebellion” bc technically the liberation of Lothal was Ezra’s personal mission that Rebel Command never authorized? Kevin Kiner’s music was brilliant as always and elevated every scene to new emotional heights. Dave Filoni himself revealed as the voice of Chopper oh my god...

Epilogue: The parallels between the openings of the pilot and the epilogue!!! ALSO BLUE SKY BLUE SKY BLUE SKY. That was the first time we ever saw a clear blue sky over Lothal and it’s so beautiful and symbolic. Jacen Syndulla’s design honestly isn’t that bad, like the green hair is kinda atrocious but he’s not that ugly haha. What an ominous name choice though... How many years was the time skip? Even right after the Battle of Endor is 5 years later which is longer than how much time Ezra spent with his family on the Ghost :( Sabine’s short hair is a lesbian haircut a;lksdjfl;asjdf;j. My Ahsoka and Sabine dream team riding off into the sunset together to find Ezra <3

Top 3 emotional moments:

The entire “Sabine sees Ezra” scene

Ezra crying while letting go of his parents

Ezra’s goodbye before jumping to hyperspace

Top 3 dramatic shots:

Ezra igniting his lightsaber with 3 giant wolves behind him

Ahsoka arriving with a wizard cloak and staff

Ezra facing the Emperor in the ruins of the temple 

Top 3 dialogue lines:

“For that boy, there is nothing I would not do.” BIG MOOD

“It was an honor to fight with you for something we chose to believe in.” BRB CRYING FOREVER

“You think you can take whatever you want. Things you didn’t make, didn’t earn! Things you don’t even understand.” Me while Ezra (and Hera when Thrawn taunted her with the stolen kalikori) lecture Thrawn on cultural appropriation: “Go off!!!”

#fox talks #star wars rebels #swr spoilers #swr

[garden-ghoul]

bloggbblog, part 8

“my GOAL for this one is to do 2 chapters since I have jack else to do. idk if I’m using jack correctly in this sentence.”

FLIES AND SPIDERS

Why is it my most vivid memories of this book are of the dwerrows getting captured in sacks/spider webbing. Is it just because it’s KIND OF WEIRD that this exact thing gets repeated. Wait shit the point is probably to contrast “Gandalf has to save everyone while Bilbo hides” and “Bilbo saves everyone because getting the Ring made him suddenly competent.” No uh why is he competent now? I like the bit where he’s the only one with eyes sharp enough to spot Beorn in chapter 7, and now he’s turning into a real hero. I think what might have done it was the moment when he steps out of the cave, finally free, and then realizes he’s going to have to go back into danger to save his friends. That bit was really good, like just understated enough that clearly Bilbo doesn’t even realize how much he’s changed.

Sorry. That’s what I got from the TITLE of the chapter. Uhh let’s start reading it. So far the first paragraph informs us in a very fun way that the forest is dark because it’s covered in trees. It’s also full of cobwebs bigger than any Bilbo has ever seen, though thankfully (but mysteriously) they don’t go across the Path. And at night many eyes come to stare at our heroes--the forest is completely zero-photon black, though, so honestly this just proves that Tolkien put all his points into mythology and none in biology. I’m pretty sure spiders don’t even have tapeta lucida, so what the fuck. Basically Tolkien spends a couple pages enumerating all the ways the forest sucks, and then the party stumbles upon the Lethe. They don’t want to wade it, for fear that forgetfulness is absorbed via skin contact, BUT there is a boat on the far bank that they are able to hook with their convenient grappling hook (it’s not a grappling hook it’s like one of those bungee hooks).

As they’re just barely across a hart runs over Bombur and knocks him into the water, causing him to fall asleep. In the distance: a horn, baying hounds. Maybe they were hunting the hart! Or maybe they were hunting these other deer that show up--the dwerrows use all of their remaining arrows trying in vain to shoot them, and now the bows are useless. Fools. Tolkien informs us that they are actually getting close to the eastern edge of the wood, but they don’t know this and are beginning to despair, because they’ve been carrying Bombur for four days. Um is he just. Asleep now, permanently. In time the trees start to thin, even as the party begins to hear strange eerie songs and laughter. I wonder if the elves also don’t want to live too deep in the forest. Bilbo is made to climb a tree to try and see the end, because he’s lightest; finds some spiders “after the butterflies.” Listen. Butterflies are a fool’s errand. They’re mostly wing and they destroy webs really easily. Don’t bother with them. I get that this is like a metaphor or something but I’m cheesed. Oh they’re cool butterflies, though, and tons of them. With velvet black wings. Bilbo sees no end to the forest, because he’s in a valley, and everyone is miserable.

Bombur wakes up. I’m not sure if this is of consequence yet, but he has dreamed of feasting with the elves. He sees torches and fires lit, a ways off the path, which is honestly very will-o-wisp and oh great there he goes. He’s trying to go over there. It is decided that a couple people should creep over and spy, but since they might get lost forever, uh, everyone decides to go, which is the opposite of what makes sense in this situation, but whatever. They smell roasting meat and all try to leap toward it, and the elves vanish. Orrrr possibly they were an illusion the whole time, unclear. Now everyone is lost, so good job. Should have! left someone! on the path!

The lights come on again. Thorin decides to send Bilbo, the least scary, to parley.

The lights go out, and Bilbo is lost. They find him asleep a while later (weak from hunger?)

"I was having such a lovely dream," he grumbled, "all about having a most gorgeous dinner."

"Good heavens! he has gone like Bombur," they said. "Don't tell us about dreams. Dream-dinners aren't any good, and we can't share them."

This is just cute dialogue. The dwerrows STILL haven’t learned their lesson, because the next time they see lights--a huuuuge feast--they go and try to crash it again. Look the elves are just trying to eat and they keep having to pick up all their stuff and sprint away while they’re trying to have a good time. Let them alone. Thorin steps out and everyone looks at him for a moment, and then they snuff the lights and kick ashes in the dwerrows’ eyes. All the dwerrows get lost, and Bilbo can’t find any of them. So he lies down against a tree and goes to sleep, the only reasonable course of action.

He wakes up and a spider is trying to wrap him up. He panics but manages to kill it with his sword, and then passes out again. When he wakes up there’s a dead spider and he’s still alone. But.

Somehow the killing of the giant spider, all alone by himself in the dark without the help of the wizard or the dwerrows or of anyone else, made a great difference to Mr. Baggins. He felt a different person, and much fiercer and bolder in spite of an empty stomach, as he wiped his sword on the grass and put it back into its sheath.

"I will give you a name," he said to it, "and I shall call you Sting."

Birth of a legend.

He uses his innate hobbit stealth and also the Ring to sneak up on some spiders. That is, he sneaks in a random direction and falls ass-backward into a rescue. Also I want to interject here that the cobwebs these spiders make, unlike normal cobwebs, are black. If their hugeness wasn’t enough, this is probably a Clue that they are descended from Ungoliant or her like. They digest the light and excrete the darkness that is left over! Maybe that’s why this forest is so dark! Hey hey did we ever get any good descriptions of Nan Dungortheb. I bet it’s like this.

Bilbo listens in on some spider conversation, which makes me really wonder if Shelob could talk and just didn’t feel like it. It’d make sense if she could talk, right? Anyway it’s really fun how all the Horrible Monsters in this book talk like average Toms, Dicks, and Harrys. Hang ‘em up for a couple days and they’ll be bee-autiful, says one of the spiders. I’m serious. One of the spiders goes up to inspect Bombur and almost gets kicked off the branch and everyone else laughs. It’s like. Every kind of sentient creature is essentially the same. Why does Tolkien keep making people relateable and humanizing them and then turning right around and having the heroes remorselessly kill them?? Johnald you might want to get that checked out???

Turns out Bilbo is a good shot with a stone, and always has been. This is one of those things where you just assume he has a lot of mundane skills and you can just make one up if it happens to be useful. Bilbo throws the stone at the spider that’s about to gank Bombur (?usage?) and it falls off the branch and lands flop with its legs all curled. I like how he sometimes puts onomatopoeias into sentences like that, it flows real nice.

The next stone went whizzing through a big web, snapping its cords, and taking off the spider sitting in the middle of it, whack, dead. After that there was a deal of commotion in the spider-colony, and they forgot the dwerrows for a bit, I can tell you.

Good diction thanks. AND THEN HE SINGS. I love these songs so I’m going to stick them right in for you to enjoy too.

Old fat spider spinning in a tree! Old fat spider can't see me! Attercop! Attercop! Won't you stop, Stop your spinning and look for me! Old Tomnoddy, all big body, Old Tomnoddy can't spy me! Attercop! Attercop! Down you drop! You'll never catch me up your tree!

I think I recall at one point looking this up and finding that ‘attercop’ and ‘cobweb’ have a common root that means spider in like Old English. Tomnoddy, from a cursory googling, means “hey dumbass.” Bilbo successfully leads the spiders away from his friends, but now they are weaving webs to fence him in. Tolkien doesn’t know how long it takes to make a web, either.

Lazy Lob and crazy Cob are weaving webs to wind me. I am far more sweet than other meat, but still they cannot find me!

Sounds like Shel Silverstein. Alsooo I’m very happy about both internal rhyme and alliteration. Bilbo is a great fight-for-your-life spur-of-the-moment poet. Bilbo books it back to where his friends are (impressive sense of direction) and starts freeing them. After killing another spider! And then half a dozen more when they start to return! He’s growing into quite the murderer, is our Bilbo! The dwerrows try and join in, but they uhh have all been poisoned, and aren’t doing too good. Eventually Bilbo decides in desperation to draw the spiders off so they rest can escape. It takes hours but finally they do. 

Everyone is bone tired. They rest in the elf campsites, which are maybe protected? And Bilbo tells them the story of getting the Ring, and they all decides that he Knows Things and must have a way to get them out of their pickle (still starving to death). Oh also Thorin is just straight up missing, he was kidnapped by the elves. Tolkien hastens to assure us that even though wood elves are dangerous and have kidnapped Thorin, “still elves they were and remain, and that is Good People.” Fake. Don’t tell me every elf is good. You’re the one who came up with Eol and Maeglin. Feanor. Every one of Feanor’s dumb ass sons. Anyway the woodland king is questioning Thorin. This bit’s hilarious.

"Why did you and your folk three times try to attack my people at their merrymaking?" asked the king.

"We did not attack them," answered Thorin; "we came to beg, because we were starving."

"Where are your friends now, and what are they doing?"

"I don't know, but I expect starving in the forest."

"What were you doing in the forest?"

"Looking for food and drink, because we were starving."

At least Thorin gets fed in elf jail.

BARRELS OUT OF BOND

The party is sort of staggering along, hopefully in the direction of the path, when twilight falls. Twilight is Elf Time. The dwerrows are glad to be captured, though; Bilbo goes invisible and sneaks after them, so as to have a hope of rescuing them. None of the dwerrows is willing to talk when questioned by the elf king, so that’s good. Apparently he has a great liking for treasure and is probably trying to get gold out of them. How the tables have tabled! He gets angry at them for just being in his kingdom and throws them in prison with some food but no talking. And he doesn’t tell them he has Thorin.

Bilbo lives for a week off stolen food, creeping out the door after hunting parties occasionally but unable to find the way out of the wood. It’s absolutely miserable, he never takes off the Ring and hardly dares to sleep. He finds Thorin eventually and acts as a secret courier between him and the rest of the dwerrows. Guys I Fuckin Love the narrative where people are imprisoned and have only the slimmest hope of getting out, someone sneaking around in desperation for their own life. It’s such a specific thing but I Love It.

Bilbo does not love it. He doesn’t like the hypervigilant life, and he doesn’t like having fourteen lives on his shoulders. Eventually he puts the river delivery service and a lucky break of the guard getting drunk... into a Plan. Steals the keys and goes around unlocking dwerrows. They don’t like “escaping in barrels on the river” but what are you going to do? Unfortunately Bilbo packs everyone into barrels and then has no-one to pack him. He panics while the barrel-rollers sing a barrel-rolling song that is much more elvish than their dialogue, puzzlingly. Bilbo has to cling to an empty barrel “like a rat.” It’s hard, because of how it is Round. The rest of the chapter is basically more “barrels are hard and the dwerrows might be dead.”

#urgh teatime #there's just too much daylight in the summmer #and I'm very tired #blog of the rings