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devildom-drabbles · 1 year

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Story - What's Important

Summary: Beelzebub seeks advice for a new phone background. Main Character: Beelzebub Other Characters: The demon brothers and MC Word Count: ~3.3k Warnings: None, just silliness with a fluffy ending Notes: This story is inspired by a page from the short Obey Me! manga on Twitter (as seen in the panel at the end). It also serves as a headcanon for what each demon brother has as their phone background (when their relationship with MC is purely platonic, that is). Happy Holidays, everyone! However you choose to celebrate these final days of the year, I hope you’re able to spend it with the people and/or things that are most important to you. 😊💕

“And...done!” Leviathan declared. “All the data from your old D.D.D. is now transferred to your new one.”

“Thanks, Levi,” Beelzebub said as he retrieved the phone from his older brother’s outstretched hand. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“No problem, but try not to eat your phone anymore. I don’t want to have to keep doing this.”

“Right, sorry...”

Leviathan picked up his wireless controller and resumed the video game he was playing before Beelzebub had entered his bedroom. “I meant to ask earlier, but why did you eat your old phone anyway?”

“Oh, it was because of the background I had on it,” Beelzebub explained. “I was really hungry, so I was going to order some food on Akuber. But when I grabbed my phone and saw the photo of the Bloody Terrine that Barbatos made for my birthday on the screen, I ate it without thinking.”

“Seriously?!” Leviathan shouted. “Geez, your stomach always manages to act before your brain can, huh?” He continued pressing away at the controller’s buttons without looking at the larger demon beside him. “You’d better choose a new background then, otherwise Lucifer will do worse than just giving you extra chores. You’ll probably have to pay for the new phone next time, too.”

“You’re right,” Beelzebub agreed, his eyebrows furrowed with concern. “What if he won’t let me eat until I have enough money to buy it? Or he puts a curse on the fridge so I can’t ever open it again?” A loud growl from the Avatar of Gluttony’s stomach seemed to make Leviathan’s room shake. “Just thinking about it is making me famished. Levi, what should I do? I don’t want to eat my phone again.”

The aforementioned demon felt a pang in his chest in response to his younger brother’s worried tone. “Uh, well, you just need to choose a background that isn’t food-related. Then you won’t accidentally eat it, right?”

“Sure, but...I don’t know what to change it to,” Beelzebub admitted.

“How about an epic screenshot from a video game?” Leviathan suggested. “I’ve got a ton of them saved on my consoles’ photo galleries!”

“Is that what you have as your background?”

“My gaming PC, yes. My D.D.D., not a chance! Only the lovely Ruri-chan is allowed to grace my phone screen! Take a look!” The otaku paused the game again to proudly hold out his phone for his brother to see. “This is a screenshot from the Season 3 finale when Ruri-chan gives an epic yet heart-warming monologue about her time in the human world. She talks about the friends she’s made, the battles she’s fought, and the things she’s come to love about that realm, and how she’ll continue to protect the human world no matter what evil tries to stand in her way. It’s my favorite speech in the whole series! And by this episode, the animators have mastered Ruri-chan down to the tiniest detail, which is easy for a true fan to notice when you think about the animation style in Seasons 1 and 2—”

“Most of the anime I like has food in it,” Beelzebub interjected nonchalantly, “and there aren’t any games that I like that much. What else could I do?”

“For starters, don’t interrupt me!” Leviathan then sighed while pocketing his phone. He redirected his focus to the screen, unpaused his game, and said, “I don’t have any other ideas right now, so try asking Belphie or something. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a legendary weapon to find!”

“You’re trying to come up with a new background for your phone?” Belphegor questioned, sitting up from his nest of pillows and blankets in the attic to give his twin his undivided attention.

“That’s right,” Beelzebub answered with a nod. “I need something that won’t make me think of food.”

The younger twin mulled over the dilemma for a few moments. “Why not just copy my background?”

“Yours? It’s a picture of some of the Devildom constellations, right? That suits you well, Belphie, so you should keep it for yourself. I don’t want to copy it.”

“Are you sure? I honestly don’t mind.”

“I know, but I’m sure. That’s special for you.”

“All right. Then maybe you could use a different photo of outside scenery. Is there a specific view that you enjoy?”

"I like seeing a huge meal being placed in front of me at an outdoor restaurant," Beelzebub replied matter-of-factly.

Belphegor shook his head tiredly, partly blaming himself for not clarifying his question further to avoid this predictable response. "Beel, I meant 'outside scenery' as in something in nature, like how I chose the constellations."

"Oh, right." Beelzebub considered the question more carefully this time. "I like the beach. I had a fun time with everyone when we went there last summer.”

Belphegor smiled at the memory. “That’s a good one. We did a lot on that trip, didn’t we?”

“Yeah. We had swimming races, water gun fights, snowcones, broiled deathfish—” A familiar rumble abruptly silenced Beelzebub. “Uh-oh, the beach makes me think of all the things we ate there. I don’t think I can use it as my phone background after all.”

“In that case, any photo from the trips we’ve gone on probably won’t work either,” Belphegor realized, lightly scratching at his cheek. “Hmm, what else might work?”

Just then, the pair heard footsteps reaching the top of the attic stairs and saw their blond-haired brother peeking inside the room.

“There you are,” Satan sighed. He appeared somewhat disgruntled at the sight of Belphegor—bedhead, dried drool, and all—sitting comfortably atop the low rounded bed. “I had a feeling you’d be napping up here when you didn’t show up to our Anti-Lucifer League meeting.”

“Ah, sorry,” Belphegor apologized half-heartedly, “I overslept a bit, and then I got distracted while helping Beel.”

“With what?” Satan inquired.

“I’m trying to pick a new background for my phone that won’t make me want to eat it,” Beelzebub explained. “What do you have for your phone, Satan?”

“Mine is a photo I took the other day of two stray cats sleeping beside each other,” Satan answered. “They looked so peaceful snuggling together that I couldn’t help myself. Before that, though, it was a photo I found of Cat Island in the human world. Images of cats are always wonderful to see.”

“No surprise there,” Belphegor commented. “Well, did that give you any inspiration, Beel?”

“Actually,” Beelzbub began, “remember that animal documentary we watched last week, Satan? I think a background of one of those animals would be nice. Can you help me find a picture?”

“Sure,” Satan agreed, “but then Belphie and I really need to get to work on planning our next prank, okay?”

After searching through online photos of Devildom animals, Beelzebub settled on a picture of some baby devil chickens, which Satan promptly saved to set as his younger brother’s new phone background.

“Nice choice, Beel,” Belphegor remarked, having gotten off the bed to look at his twin’s phone screen.

“It’s not as good as cats,” Satan noted, “but devil chicks aren’t so bad either.”

Beelzebub smiled warmly, glancing between his brothers and then back to the image within his hand. “They’re cute, especially that really tiny one that’s with them here. Ah, that makes me think of how nice and plump they’ll all be when they grow up into big devil chickens.” His rumbling stomach echoed through the room. “Oh... Now I want to eat fried devil chicken.”

“I guess you’ll have to forego a background with animals, too,” Satan concluded with a shrug. “Belphie and I have to get going now, but we can help you brainstorm some more ideas later, if you still haven’t decided on one. In the meantime, why don’t you ask Asmo for advice?”

“My wallpaper?” Asmodeus repeated while fixing his long bangs. “Why, it’s me, of course! I pick a different selfie every day to admire on my phone screen.”

In retrospect, Beelzebub realized that he should’ve seen this coming. Nonetheless, he figured that some follow-up questions may better aid him in his quest to choose his own phone background: “But why? You see yourself in the mirror and on Devilgram every day, don’t you? Why do you need to see yourself on your phone screen, too?”

Asmodeus immediately ceased fidgeting with his appearance in his vanity mirror and twisted back to stare at Beelzebub with a gobsmacked expression. “Um, isn’t it obvious? Who wouldn’t want to see such a gorgeous face gazing at you any chance you get? I mean, look at me!” He stood from his chair to gesture to his entire body.

Beelzebub’s brow furrowed as he stared back at the Avatar of Lust. “...I’m looking?”

Asmodeus huffed in surrender. “Give me your D.D.D.,” he ordered. “Maybe it’ll make more sense if you had a photo of yourself as your background.”

“I’m not sure...”

“You won’t know until you try! Just hand it here!”

Without further protest, Beelzebub relinquished his phone to Asmodeus. He watched quietly as his older brother opened the Devilgram app and scrolled to a particular photo from his AsmoBaby account. A few taps later and the image was boldly displayed as Beelzebub’s phone background.

“Is this one of the photos you took of me while we were working out together?” Beelzebub asked, the device now returned to him.

“Yup, that’s right!” Asmodeus admitted with a cheery nod. “It blew up on my page after I posted it. You even gained more followers, as well!”

“Really? But it’s just a picture of me doing a push-up.”

“What are you saying?! Look closely!” Asmodeus started pointing at specific parts of the image while he spoke. “That determined expression, those toned arms, the sweat dripping from your face, your fitting clothes... Whether it’s this photo or one of my countless selfies, don’t you feel absolutely enamored and energized upon witnessing such a breathtaking figure? That’s how everyone in the comments felt!”

Beelzebub tilted his head quizzically, not understanding his brother’s—or his fans’—enthusiasm over the photo. “I just feel hungry,” he stated simply, his hand resting on his stomach. He had been trying to solve his phone-background-predicament for quite a while without a single snack, and the hunger was now becoming too much to bear.

“Ooh, yes!” Asmodeus exclaimed excitedly. “Plenty of the comments here mention that they experienced a sort of ravenous urge when they viewed this photo.”

“That’s...not what I meant. ...I think? Never mind. A picture of myself—or you—won’t work for me, but thanks for trying, Asmo. I’m going to the kitchen.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again, Lucifer! I promise!”

Beelzebub halted briefly at one of the breaks in the staircase within the entrance hall area. He glanced over to find an annoyed Lucifer in the midst of restraining a pleading Mammon who will soon be strung from the ceiling (i.e. a common scene in the House of Lamentation—nothing noteworthy, in Beelzebub’s opinion).

“If I had a Grimm for every time you’ve ‘promised’ that, then your latest debt would be easily paid off,” Lucifer remarked, unfazed by his younger brother’s begging.

“I mean it this time! I swear!” Mammon declared as he squirmed relentlessly within the strong rope being tied around him. He then noticed Beelzebub wordlessly walking around them to head to the kitchen, hoping to remain unseen. “Beel! Hey, Beel! You believe me, don’tcha?! Tell Lucifer what a great and trustworthy demon I am!”

“I’d rather not be involved,” Beelzebub responded, uncomfortably rubbing one of his hands over the other.

“I’ll buy ya a meal at Hell’s Kitchen!” Mammon bargained.

“Mammon is a great and trustworthy demon,” Beelzebub promptly stated to Lucifer.

The eldest brother shook his head with a sigh. “I can assure you that Mammon doesn’t have the funds to buy even a crumb of food,” he said. “Perhaps spending the night here will remind him why he needs to manage his money better. Speaking of managing things, have you refrained from consuming your new D.D.D. thus far, Beel?”

“Yeah, I still have it. I’m trying to decide on a background that won’t make me want to eat it again. Belphie and the others have given me suggestions, but nothing’s worked out.”

“That’s probably ‘cause they were thinkin’ about stuff that they like,” Mammon asserted. “Lemme guess: You’ve been told to try something with fictional characters, cats or animals in general, selfies, and relaxing outdoor views, right?”

Beelzebub blinked in astonishment. “Wow, you listed everything they said.”

Mammon gave a short victorious laugh before exclaiming, “Of course I did! You guys are so predictable!”

“Is that so?” Lucifer questioned with a knowing smirk. “I believe you’re just as predictable, Mammon. If I had to guess, I’d say that every time you unlock your phone, you’re met with a picture of my credit card, correct?”

“Her name is Goldie, ya know!” Mammon paused as the rest of Lucifer’s words caught up to him. “W-Wait, how did ya— Whatever! That was just a lucky guess! Now it’s my turn to prove how predictable you are, Lucifer.”

“You’re awfully cheeky for someone who’s about to be hanging upside down for the next several hours. But go ahead, let’s hear it.”

“Your phone background—” Mammon stopped for a second to create a dramatic effect. “—is just the default one!”

“You mean the image that’s already there when you get a new phone?” Beelzebub inquired.

“Impressive,” Lucifer complimented the second-born demon brother. “You were right, Mammon.”

“HA! I knew it!” Mammon cheered. “Man, that’s so lame— OW!! I-I meant ‘tame!’ ‘Cause, y’know, you’re so prim and proper and a total straight-laced stick-in-the-mud— GAHHH!! Quit tightening the rope so hard!”

“Apparently you didn’t hear me,” Lucifer stated with another sharp pull on the ropes, “I said you were right. As in, that used to be my phone background until some time ago.”

Beelzebub was once again amazed by Mammon’s skill in guessing such information about his brothers, but now he was curious about Lucifer’s phone. “So, what’s your background now?” he asked.

“It’s a photo of Diavolo, Barbatos, and myself at the castle," Lucifer explained. "Diavolo discovered that I never changed my background ever since I got my D.D.D. and pestered me until I agreed to replace it. Making it a group photo was Barbatos’s idea, and that’s how it ended up including all three of us.”

“Do you not like it?” Beelzebub wondered.

“I wouldn’t say that. I don’t see the background that often because I’m usually using an app on the phone, so that’s why I was indifferent about what the image was. Diavolo believes that choosing a background makes a phone more personal and special to each individual. I suppose I can’t disagree with him on that. Should I ever misplace it, I’ll know right away that it’s my D.D.D. from the one-of-a-kind picture on the screen.” Lucifer tied the last knot on the ropes and added, “But that's enough talk for now. I need to finish with Mammon's punishment.”

Blocking out the sound of Mammon’s wailing as Lucifer proceeded to string him up to the ceiling, Beelzebub slowly trekked toward the kitchen while mulling over all of the ideas that his brothers provided. However, no matter what he came up with, each potential background made him feel hungry in some kind of way.

Beelzebub was about ready to bury his problem under the weight of all of the food in the kitchen when he passed by MC’s bedroom. He peeked through the crack in their open door to see them working on something at their desk, their familiar refreshing appearance effortlessly subduing his hunger pangs. They always seemed to know how to aid him whenever he felt troubled, so maybe they would know the perfect phone background for him. A knock on the door was all it took for him to be granted access to his favorite human and share his dilemma with them.

MC hummed in thought as they processed everything Beelzebub told them. “When you think about it,” they began, “all of your brothers chose pictures of things that they like, right? Or things that are important to them. What’s most important to you, Beel?”

“Most important to me...?” Beelzebub murmured. Within the next few moments, a grin stretched across his face. “I got it. I know what I want my background to be, MC.”

“Okay, everyone!” Asmodeus called out cheerfully after adjusting the tripod that held Beelzebub’s phone. “Move in closer so we can all fit!”

The seven other inhabitants of the House of Lamentation attempted to maneuver into two straight rows in front of Asmodeus.

“Ugh, I don’t want to be any closer to Lucifer than necessary," Satan grumbled as he settled into place in the front row.

“Are you still bitter that I caught you and Belphie preparing that shoddy trap for me in front of my study?” Lucifer inquired with his arms crossed while he stood tall behind the Avatar of Wrath. “Next time, the two of you should plan it out better.”

Satan gritted his teeth. “Oh, believe me: We will.” He then shot a glare at the youngest brother beside him. “Won’t we, Belphie?”

“Yeah, yeah, I shouldn’t have nodded off while we were working,” Belphegor admitted. “More importantly, Mammon, stop pulling MC away from me so that they can be closer to you.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” Mammon argued. “I’m just makin’ sure ya don’t try to snuggle up to ‘em and take a nap on their shoulder during the photo!”

“At this point, it looks like I’m the one snuggling up to you,” MC noted, their side pressed against Mammon’s. “Let’s all just be next to each other in a normal way.”

Mammon released his tugging on MC and turned his head away to hide his blush. “F-Fine. Just don’t come cryin’ to me if ya get drool all over ya.”

“Sounds like someone’s salty about getting rejected, LMAO,” Leviathan snickered.

Mammon turned around to bark at his younger brother, “Shaddup!”

“Levi, make room for me at the end there so I can be more behind MC!” Asmodeus instructed.

“Huh?! I have to move over even more?” Leviathan inquired in disbelief, already feeling claustrophobic.

“HA! Serves ya right!” Mammon jeered.

“Will you stop shouting, Mammon?” Satan complained.

“All right, all right, let’s all calm down,” MC spoke up. “We’re supposed to be taking a nice photo for Beel to make as his phone background, remember?”

“That’s right,” Lucifer chimed in. “I expect you all to behave, or else we’ll be retaking this photo all day until we get it right.”

“Beel, is this fine with you?” Belphegor asked worriedly while glancing back at his twin.

Beelzebub nodded with a bright smile, grateful that everyone had accepted the request he had made the previous day. “Yeah, this is perfect.”

“Looks like we’re all in,” Asmodeus announced. “I’m starting the timer now!”

The steady ding of the phone’s camera timer counting down echoed in the House of Lamentation’s living room while Asmodeus hurried over to his spot and everyone else prepared themselves for the photo. Beelzebub’s gaze grew more tender as he looked at each member of the group from the back row. These were the individuals he was happy to call “family,” and they were more important to him than anything else in the three realms. Overcome with joy and love, he leapt forward just as the camera’s flash went off, wrapping his arms around those next to him and leaning closer to those in the front row. The action startled most of them, evident in their expressions captured in the photo. Although it turned out to be a more candid shot than originally intended, Beelzebub treasured this picture that he kept as a permanent background on his phone.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me mc #short story

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star-gazer101 · 2 years

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Ortho the Ever Observant Brother

Pairing: Idia Shroud x Reader

Characters: Ortho Shroud and Idia Shroud

Warnings: Gender-neutral reader, mutual pining, minor spoilers for the Ghost Marriage/Phantom Bride event, minor spoilers for book 6, Ortho implied to be the same age as the first years

AN: It’s been how many years since I last wrote a fic on here? Well, better late than never. Though I’ll admit, I am a little nervous posting on here. But since it’s my birthday month, I do want to try writing something for Twst. So, enjoy.

Idia Shroud: Third Year student and Housewarden of Ignihide dorm. He is well known throughout NRC as a total shut-in. Rarely does he venture out into the outside world, unless needed to for his credentials. If not needed, his tablet will work just as fine.

Creep, freak, and otaku. All those words were used to describe his older brother. But they tend to forget that his brother is also very intelligent and all around amazing! Sure, Idia needed to get out more and socialize sometimes, but that was what he was here for!

With trial and error, and a very stressful overblot, Idia has gotten a little better with socializing.

And as an added bonus: Ortho, himself, officially became a first year student!

It seems like everything is going to get better and better from here on out!

…Except for one minor detail…

The prefect of Ramshackle, being well-known for their ability to get into all kinds of trouble, is also known to be able to get out of said trouble; despite not having any trace of magic in their body. It would be considered a miracle that they got into this school as half a student along with their companion…If only the other students saw it that way…

News of the prefect and the overblots popping up in the same sentence is always the biggest topic on the school grounds. Most of the time, it did more good than harm. But there was some debate on whether it was the opposite.

Good or bad, the prefect made a name for themself and are very friendly to those they care about.

Ortho had noticed their caring nature first hand. Always complimenting his brother’s works with fascination despite never meeting him officially. And when his brother almost got taken by the ghost bride, the prefect was quick to respond to his pleas, and even helped save Idia from the bride’s clutches.

To say Ortho has a lot of respect for the prefect of Ramshackle, is an understatement.

And he’s glad that the two of them were getting along in their own way…

That was until the incident at the Island of Woe…

Idia and the prefect’s relationship is a bit…strained once everyone was saved. As much as the prefect wanted to claim that everything’s fine and well, Ortho knew deep down that the friendship is on thin ice and one wrong move could shatter the whole thing.

Thankfully, being a good younger brother that he is, Ortho slowly helped patch things up by reminding the prefect of the good times that the three of them had, and the potential of more in the future.

And slowly but surely, the prefect finally accepted Idia’s apology.

Ortho knew this to be true. Especially when he spotted the prefect visiting the Ignihide dorm on more than one occasion with his brother’s favorite candy on hand.

…But he still couldn’t figure out what was bothering him…

“Hey, Ortho.”

Hearing his brother’s voice, Ortho looked away from his notes to see what his brother needed.

Idia’s back was facing him. But judging by his posture, Ortho knew that his brother was contemplating on what to say, his eyes never leaving the screen of a certain prefect chatting away with Pomfiore’s housewarden.

“What is it, brother?”

“...D-do you think I lost my chance with the Prefect?”

Chance?

Ortho found himself shaking his head. “I don’t think you have. Both you and the Prefect are very close. And judging by their increased heart rate, I know for sure that they feel the same!”

Tension faded and there was a sigh of relief. “...T-thanks Ortho.”

Idia looks so much better when he’s happy…But why was he having doubts about this relationship?

“Eh? You want to know when my birthday is?”

Ortho nodded. “Of course. As a friend and fellow student, I’d like to keep track of everyone’s birthday. That way, I can verify what types of gifts will be most suited for our friends. I want to make sure that I get it right! And…”

You patiently waited for him to continue. “And…?”

“...Brother also wanted to know too.”

“Really? He does?” You were actually surprised. Then again it did make sense since the two of you are close. “Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone. And it seems like everyone’s been asking as well.”

“Everyone?”

“Well, Ace and Deuce mostly.” You confessed. “Jack and Sebek asked out of obligation. And Epel only asked because Vil wanted to know. So, yeah…”

You trailed off awkwardly as a flush of embarrassment burned your face; clearly not used to that much attention regardless of how small it is. “...If you still want to know, my birthday is on July 25th. School will still be out before anyone can celebrate it….”

Ortho reassured you. “Don’t feel bad, Prefect. My birthday is during summer as well. I’m certain my brother will send you something really cool while we’re away!”

“Thanks Ortho,” You said with a smile, reaching a hand out to pat at his hair. The cold flames felt rather nice to the touch. “To think I’ll be seventeen years old by then…”

…

Oh…

So that’s why he was worried.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #idia shroud x reader #idia x reader #idia shroud #ortho shroud #reader insert

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itscanditime · 6 months

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Happy birthday Idia!! My favorite otaku!

#twisted wonderland #idia shroud #twst idia #happy birthday idia

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banqanas · 4 months

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happy taiki day!!!!🥰🌻 in honor of taiki's birthday pls tell me your 3 favorite things about taiki :3

As a professional Fantaro I will put my differences aside and properly oshi Taiki for once.

1) when they were at Okinawa for Summer Bike mv shooting, Taiki bought matching hawaii shirts for KetoSota. It made me realise that Taiki's the one who has been raising them as twins so I love him for that

2) I love how he's always gives Keito hugs and is the first one who always laughs at Keito's hit-or-miss gags

3) I love that Taiki has more or less, been looking after Keito ever since he was a kid. Keito is a very easily influenced boy who has always been mimicking whatever Taiki is into. I don't think Keito would be the specialest most wonderful boy he is right now if it wasn't for Taiki's influence through his childhood, and for that, he has my sincerest thanks

Okay, okay, here’s my real answer:

- he's very hardworking, it’s hard not to like him when you see how sincere he is to his work. It's amazing how he works on multiple tv shows on top of having rehearsals, shootings, interviews or studying languages. He always mentions how he didn't have a lot fun memories when he was a student because he's always working part time to afford his classes in EXPG. He’s probably a masochist. He's almost hitting the 30's so hopefully he takes care of his body properly (especially his heavily bleached hair)

- his SNS posts. Not only does he updates all his different SNS accounts daily, prepares different contents for different sites, he also puts different languages in his posts too. He always puts a lot of thoughts into his SNS posts, they look very professional. He mentioned that other group's managers have come to him asking how he does this or that or the apps he uses. I really appreciate how much he visibly works hard to spread Fanta's name. I think it's because of how good he is at the front that Sekai can focus on them from behind the scenes

- he's literally a genius. Becoming EXILE's youngest member when he only had around 3 years of dancing experience just shows how he's naturally talented. He's also good at communicating and making connections with people around him regardless of senpai or kouhai (as someone who's struggling at this irl, it is amazing to see how Taiki does it). as expected of Sotasota's mentor. Also if you mention any EXILE or Fanta song, he can remember it and sing in a heartbeat. It’s scary how much of an otaku he is

#hopkei #asks #sato taiki #fantastics from exile tribe #i know youre going to use this as receipts #so at least im going to make this as unvery like me #i do think hes annoying a lot of times #if anything its how i have similar tastes to taiki so it hits home sometimes #ok thATS ENOUGH #happy tomato day

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kanazawa-division · 7 months

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The sun was beginning to set on a certain homicide detective's birthday. Joey was currently hanging out in his living room playing a video game when the doorbell rang. Pausing his game, Joey walked over to the door and opened it. Bouncing in front of him was Kaoru Shinozaki.

"Quicksilver! Happy birthday!" Kaoru cheered, showing off a bag with the gifts she brought with her.

Stepping inside, Kaoru gave Joey a quick hug before shoving her the bag with her gifts in his hands, a manic smile spreading across her face.

"I got you a few gifts, including one that I personally built myself." Kaoru gleefully explained, waiting for the blond haired Otaku to open his gifts.

"Uh….Kaoru? When was the last time you slept?" Joey questioned, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"It's Monday, right? So last Saturday. Not the one that just passed but the one before. Don't worry about me, though I'm fine!" Kaoru flashed Joey a thumbs up. "Don't worry about me. It's your birthday, so go on." Kaoru motioned for Joey to open her gifts.

Joey just stared at Kaoru as if she just didn't confess to going over a week without any sleep. It explained a lot, and Joey just knew she was running on fumes and enough caffeine to kill a full-grown elephant. However, considering she came all the way out to Kanazawa to drop off his gift, Joey quickly pulled out the first gift and began to open it.

Inside the first gift was a collection of graphic tees, each one with something quite weird on it. Joey laughed as he read what was on them. His personal favorite was the shadow wizard one.

"I was strolling through TikTok when I saw these, and I knew you'd get a laugh out of them." Kaoru wheezed.

"They are pretty good." Joey agreed, putting them aside and pulling out the other gift Kaoru had given him, opening it.

"I feel like I'm forgetting something." Kaoru muttered to herself.

Inside the second gift was a lightsaber. Joey could feel a huge grin spread across his face as he picked the sword up, swinging it around. Seeing a button on it as well, Joey pushed it.

"JOEY! WAIT! ITS..." Kaoru shouted, trying to stop him.

It was then when Joey heard the infamous sound of a lightsaber turning on with a bright purple beam sprouting from the handle. Only to watch in shock as the lightsaber sliced through his living room curtains like butter.

"...real." Kaoru finished watching Joey's curtain fall to the floor. "Well…that was something."

Joey could only stare at the lightsaber in his hand, wondering if what he just saw was real.

"Kaoru, what the hell?" Joey questioned his mad genius of friend, his mind wondering how he was gonna explain this to his boyfriend.

"In my defense, I've spent the last week awake and giving you a real lightsaber as a gift seemed like a good idea." Kaoru defended. "Speaking of lack of sleep. It seems like it finally catched up to me. Damn I probably should've listened to Yuriko. She's gonna give me shit for this."

It was then that Joey watched as Kaoru tilted forward a bit before she collapsed onto his living room floor, and much to his relief, a loud snoring could be heard from her prone form. Joey blinked, not sure what to do when he suddenly heard a chime from his phone. Pulling it out, he quickly saw a message from his old friend.

Hey Joey! I'm coming over soon to drop off my gift. - Lyall

“….Joey.”

“…..Honey sugar sweetie baby bear.”

Mamoru repressed the urge to both sigh and cringe at the convoluted nickname as he stared blankly at his blonde boyfriend who stared back with just an equally blank expression except Mamoru could clearly see the amusement dancing in his lavender eyes.

He loves his boyfriend, truly, he does, but sometimes he worries about the company he keeps, not to say that he doesn’t trust Joey or don’t want him to have friends, of course not, but ever since Joey joined the Division Rap Battles, it seems like the shenanigans that would sometimes occur increased nearly tenfold.

The horribly singed and ruined curtains they had just put up was a testament to that.

Mamoru pinched the bridge of his nose while Joey grinned sheepishly. “To be fair…you did say that we should get new curtains…”

“We just put those up!”

“….yeah, I know, that was a shitty excuse, even for me.” Joey deflated with a sigh as he placed a pillow under Kaoru’s head, he had placed her on the couch after she had passed out but not before being grilled by Mamoru on what the hell just happened, why is Kaoru unconscious in their living room, and why are the curtains so badly damaged, which lead them to now.

“Is she going to be okay, at least?” Mamoru asked, keeping an eye on the unconscious Kaoru, while she was more of Joey’s friend, the two of them do manage to get along well, especially since they both work with computers. Joey looked at the purple haired girl and nodded, while he hadn’t known Kaoru for a long time, he was familiar with the girl’s horrendous sleeping habits…minus the sleeping. “Yeah, this happens a lot, she’ll be fine and besides, a friend of mine is coming to pick her up in a little bit.”

Mamoru nodded, somewhat satisfied with his answer before turning back to the curtains, really he wasn’t that pressed about it and honestly he found the situation pretty funny, he knew that hijinks and the like would become the norm when dating someone like Joey but it seems that everyday seemed to find a new way to keep him on his toes.

Joey, seeing where his boyfriend had set his sight on, moved to where he was and pulled him into a hug, nuzzling his neck and looked at him with apologetic eyes. “I’m sorry about the curtains, I promise we’ll replace them.” He said and Mamoru shook his head and lifted a hand to ruffle Joey’s blonde locks, “Don’t worry about it, they’re just curtains, what I’m thinking about is how badass that lightsaber is, you do realize you definitely need to go as Luke Skywalker this Halloween right?” He smiled and Joey grinned widely, pressing a huge kiss to his cheek.

“Babe, I love you so much but we both know that I’m a Han Solo guy.”

Thank you for the gift!

#hypmic #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic #hypnosis mic oc #hypnosis microphone #joey kurusu #mamoru hirano #kaoru shinozaki #lilyspade #happy birthday joey 2023 #gift

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finoalcielo · 2 years

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NAMELESS OTAKU

☆ NAMELESS OTAKU🦋 (TSUKIPRO OFFICIAL ACCOUNT?) ☆

I'm in tip-top shape today as well~💕 🌙A fan of Tsukipro・Fan of a God🦋👑💜 ❄️Rarely expresses my emotions ❄️An adult ※In the afternoon of November 1st, I will switch from my fan mode to my work mode

My fav... is shining today too💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 (He's already asleep but... I can still see him)

#Mind's Eye

Everyone, it's because you're all asleep that this is happening!!! I'll delete these tweets tomorrow so the TL will be crime-free! Pure white! No traces left at all! I'm the Demon Lord after all!! It's no problem for me!!!!! Night is the time to express your loves!!! Ah~~~~ I've lived well today!!! I'm sure my favorite is also thinking "The way you breath through your lungs is cute"!!!

"I'm following a suspicious account"... is what you, the night-owls, might be thinking♪ It's okay!! It's not suspicious at all!! In fact, this is the normal way it operates!!! This is an annual rite that happens every November, something nobody ever forgets!!! Are you all doing good~~~??!!! I'm doing quite fine (calmly)

(Right now, I'm looking at the screen with a very pleased face)

#I hope this reaches you

Come to think of it... it's already been 10 years. The first time (my heart already started pounding as I wrote 'the first time') I met my idol, you looked a bit aloof. Thinking back, the you in the promo pictures looked a bit uncomfortable. You looked straight at the camera, powerfully.

He says he had no interest in the entertainment world until he was scouted... Since ordinary people don't usually have the experience of being photographed by the cameraman, it must have been an unfamiliar time and space to you then. Perhaps, you may have been slightly nervous? With your hair half-up and being nervous.... to imagine that.... (squeals)(ฅ́˘ฅ̀)💜

Even after being a fan-boy for 10 years.... I'll continue to be one!!!!!!💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 (My idol, you just tossed and turned around... I could see it)

#Mind's Eye #Midnight Exploding Love #Everyone, thank you being with us every year #I'll be in work mode tomorrow💕

Ah, sorry, just one last thing...! Naosuke Oyama⭐️ Happy birthday!!🎂🎉

#From a nameless otaku

Happy Albion❄️

#Midnight Fan party #Goodnight

#tsukiuta #tsukiuta twitter #cielotranslations #procellarum #shimotsuki shun

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darkleysgarden · 1 year

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Obey Me 25 Days of Ficmas Day 19: Christmas Songs

Note: These are just headcanons

Lucifer: The Nutcracker Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairies

-Enjoys soundtracks, classical, and instrumental

-Hates any Christian Christmas songs

-Thinks the majority of non-Christian Christmas songs are written about stupid things

-Thinks the play is enticing and enjoys it a lot

-Probably watches it live yearly

-Loves the fast part

Mammon: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

-Specifically the Jackson 5 one.

-Also a fan of the more goofy songs like Grandma Got rum Over By A Reindeer

-Definitely listens to Michael Jackson

-Definitely does a cringy dance to it

-Loves upbeat songs you can really jam to

Leviathan: Some Anime cover of a normal Christmas song

-Thinks normal Christmas songs are for Normies

-Found some anime girls singing a song and it's automatically good now

-He hates the lovey-dovey Christmas songs, they make him dick with envy

-Can't stand most upbeat songs, but he loves his anime girls

-Only upbeat songs he listens to are anime openings

-This sounds like I am making fun of him for being an Otaku, I'm not, I am one too. He's just built like this

Satan: Happy XMas (War Is Over)

-A big fan of the 70s music

-Likes how it's more calm and not scream your head off

-Likes more choir-like songs

-Lays down and listens to it in the dark

-Feels like it's a more realistic song

Asmo: Last Christmas

-Enjoys Wham! And George Michael

-Loves all the lovey-dovey Christmas songs

-He originally thought Christmas was a romantic holiday and still holds onto that

-Yes, he does also like All I Want for Christmas Is You

-He's a part of the LGBTQ+ community

-That's a valid reason

Beel: The Chipmunks Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)

-Sad to find out that there aren't many food-centric Christmas songs

-Loves Alvin and the Chipmunks

-You know he does

-Has watched the movies a ton

-Thinks the Chipmunks are legitimately amazing singers (He's right)

-Bops his head along to the beat.

Belphie: Wonderful Christmas Time

-I don't have a good explanation

-It just feels right

Diavolo: Is That You Santa Claus?

-This feels right up his alley

-Also likes the super goofy ones

-Sings along to it despite the fact that it isn't really made to be sung along to

-Everyone expects him to choose Mariah Carrey or something

-No, it's this

Barbatos: Christmas Eve/12/24

-Type of guy to go to churches to watch the choirs sing this song

-Except he doesn't

-He's a demon and he's busy

-Definitely does watch choirs sing

-Diavolo once hired a choir to sing Happy Birthday to him

-Barbatos enjoyed it but blushed

Simeon: Santa Baby or O' Holy Night

-Loves both

-Yes, they are on two different ends of the spectrum

-Has many different favorites

-Don't ask him which is his favorite

-He either lists hundreds or can't think of one

Luke: One More Til Christmas

-By Kermit :)

-Is a man of culture

-Loves Muppet Christmas Carol

-Of course he chose one from a kids movie

-Also listens to the super Christian ones

Solomon: Please Come Home For Christmas

-Usually listens to classical or calm songs

-This is still calm but different from his usual taste

-Mostly likes the peaceful Christian ones

-Also jams to romance ones with Asmo

-He never really knows what he likes

-This song gets him doing some silly slow dance

Thirteen: Christmas Wrapping

-Likes rap and fast songs like this

-Relatable

-Idrk

-It makes so much sense with little explanation needed

Raphael: God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman

-My favorite too

-I'm right

-The Pentatonix one

-Christian ofc

-Goes fast and has a very serious undertone that fit his serious warlike persona

-It makes sense

Mephisto: It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

-I have like no explanation

-It makes sense

-He hardly listens to any music

-Christmas music is very rare

-Settles for a classic

That's all, boys. Hope you enjoyed.

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bishie-haven · 1 year

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Happy Birthday Levi! Part 1: “Twisted Fairytale (aka “The Sleeping Sheep”)

Man I haven’t used this to post in ages… Hi everyone, I’m still among the living, internet-wise! I’m back to grace this platform with more writings and musings from my silly little brain. In fact, I’ve got three for you today! I’m a part of the 2023 Leviathan Birthday Collab (@leviathanbday), a project where creators of all types came together to celebrate the birthday of Obey Me!’s favorite otaku on April 9th!

I’ve created three short stories for the collab, each based around a different theme. This first story is based on the theme “twisted fairytale”. While I am a huge Twisted Wonderland fan, this didn’t have anything to do with it. Instead, I wrote a little tale similar to ones of my childhood. Hope you enjoy!

In a distant kingdom far away from where you call home, there lived a young prince in charge of a dark land. He loved his kingdom, and all of the beings living within. However, he felt as if there was a disconnect between the other kingdoms and his own, that others saw it as “evil” or “demented”.

The prince wanted to change this. One day, he called his seven lords to his chambers. Brothers having been cast out of a former kingdom, the prince took them all in and gave them a place to reside and feel appreciated. He brought up a plan to invite a resident of a neighboring kingdom to live with the lords and experience their culture, being able to spread a good word when they returned.

The lord of blue agreed with the prince’s ideas. The lord of purple thought it was an ordeal too troubling. The lord of pink fantasized about who the resident would be. Everyone had to agree to stop the lord of red if they ever wanted to taste them. Overall, though, everyone agreed that it was a fine idea to put into action.

Everyone…except one.

While silent about the issue, the lord of orange did not like the idea at all. He saw it as not a troublesome venture, but as one that would most likely cause him ridicule. This being from another kingdom would see how weak and antisocial he was, leading to word being spread about him when they returned. He didn’t care about the reputation of the prince’s ruling grounds, he cared about the little good reputation he had!

To him, it felt like his fears were coming true. The resident of the neighboring kingdom arrived, and all of the other lords besides himself were all over them. The lord of yellow kept clinging to the resident, saying that he was responsible for them as “they looked at him first”. The lord of green had to deny allegations from the lord of purple that he would go into a fit of rage if he was compared to the lord of blue. Meanwhile, said lord of blue simply nodded his head.

The lord of orange watched as the resident was swept up by everyone’s attention. He hadn’t said anything since they had been summoned, and they had not said a word to him. However, at multiple points he had seen the resident looking at him, unable to take their eyes away.

An occurrence like this happened while the lord of pink had them in a tight hug. Noticing the diversion of attention, he saw who the resident was looking at. Giggling, he told them to not worry, as the lord of orange may be quiet, but it was charming…at least to some. The resident responded with only two words.

“…I see.”

The lord of orange heard that short conversation, and he couldn’t stop replaying it in his mind. That was all they had to say? No, they were developing the ugly, disgusting picture in their mind about who he truly was. He didn’t have to say a word of his own for it to happen; it was obvious! It was right in front of their face!

That night, the lord of orange tossed and turned, terrified of what the resident would say to the others who lived in their kingdom. He would become a laughingstock! He was desperate for something, anything, that would be able to save his dignity, that would put any rumors to rest before they even began.

Thinking that, he sat up stiff. Putting rumors to rest…it gave him an idea, the perfect plan. He just needed his true friends to help him out.

~*~*~

Within minutes, he had gathered everything he needed. His two precious pets had given him the biggest hand in the process. A bird with a topaz gem around its neck in the shape of a fish, one that he had affectionately named Henry, had taken the role of fetching a hair from the lord of purple's tail. Using his own innate magical abilities, he was able to fuse it into an essence and pass it to his other pet, a serpent named Lotan.

The essence was only powerful enough for one use, but it was all he needed. The lord of orange only needed to utter one sentence to his reptilian friend to have it slither off in search of its target. It only had one command to fulfill:

"Find the resident."

~*~*~

Cries could be heard the next morning all through the castle, lamenting the horrible fate that had befallen the one from another kingdom. The lord of blue called for every guard to surround the castle, the lord of pink was sobbing on the chaise, it was absolute disarray for everyone of the royal Court. No one could figure out what had happened to them or why they couldn't wake up.

No one except the lord of orange.

He was able to feign ignorance of the situation, but he knew exactly what happened. His beloved Lotan had carefully bitten the resident in their sleep, part of the essence allowing the marks to heal, sending them into an eternal slumber. Despite seeing his fellow lords in a panic, he himself breathed a sigh of relief. There was no way he could be humiliated further…

That is, until the others were discussing ways to lift the spell. The lord of orange began to sweat; he had forgotten this would have inevitably happened. He remembered what the only way to end the slumber was…as much of a cliche as it was, he had selected the kiss of true love as the only antidote. It was mainly out of haste, but in hindsight he knew it would serve to silence his thoughts and confirm them with himself.

If one of the others kissed them, they would wake up, confirming their love to anyone but him.

After suggesting this, every other lord took a chance at waking the resident. Some were eager to be first, others begrudgingly came forward. Even the prince was willing to give it a try. Regardless, everyone wanted to release them from the captive slumber.

The lord of orange stood to the side and watched as they all took a turn. He studied carefully, waiting for which one would make the spell, and his hope, disappear. It had to be one of them, it just had to be.

But it wasn't.

Even after every one of them tried, some even multiple times, none of them succeeded in waking the resident up. The tension was even higher, and no one knew what to do.

Then, the lord of red noticed that the lord of orange had not tried to kiss them, asking them to give it a chance. Initially he refused; the resident had not even learned his name, how could they love him?! But after many of the others pestered him, he agreed to try it once. In fact, it would prove things further to him. If he kissed them and they didn't wake up, it was for certain.

Kneeling at their bedside, he looked at their sleeping face. A flood of guilt rose up in him, and he almost wanted to run away and never set foot in those chambers again. But everyone was watching, he couldn't stop now.

Leaning in close, the lord of orange hovered over their face, almost afraid to try. However, he soon found just enough strength. Before he placed his lips on theirs, he only had one thing to say:

"I'm sorry."

The kiss lasted longer than many of the others', but it didn't matter. As he pulled away, he waited for any sort of movement. Nothing. A few more minutes…nothing. The lord of orange had given up, ready to hide away and never return…

Until the quiet sound of rustling bedsheets was the loudest noise in the room. A soft yawn broke through, and everyone was overjoyed. Hugging, cheers, and various forms of happiness spread throughout the whole castle.

This was especially true for the lord of orange and the resident. Waking up by his hand meant the two loved each other, but all he could feel was shame. He caused all of this just to save face, and now he was being applauded as a false hero.

As the excitement spread to other groups, he looked at the resident, tears starting to form in his eyes. "I'm so…so sorry," he said, trying not to cry in front of everyone.

The resident asked why, there was no reason to be sad.

He then broke down every wall, revealing every truth. He explained that there had to be a mistake, as no one would love someone as hideous and cruel-hearted as him.

This last statement left the resident confused. "What ever made you think I didn't like you?"

The lord of orange was shocked; this had to be a mistake.

But it wasn't. The resident explained how they were always watching from afar, wanting to talk but never having a chance. They had actually wanted to try that night, but then they weren't able to wake up from more than just a case of drowsiness.

And finally, there was one statement that made the lord of orange realize something very important.

"If you didn't care about me, you wouldn't go to the trouble of trying to keep me from anyone else, would you?"

#leviathanbday2023 #obey me!

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bread4innie · 1 year

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happy birthday to our favorite otaku!!! ☺️🎉🐙🎮

my tt is @/chifuyus.manga41

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purplegays · 1 year

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Finally Ranking the Obey Me Dateables

Full disclosure: I’m only on Lesson 17, but I’ve been playing almost every event since I started over half a year ago.

1. Leviathan

I have adored Leviathan ever since I first laid eyes on him. The only wrong he has ever done is having the audacity to assume that MC isn’t every bit as otaku as he is. Cute, humble, protective. Just as touch-starved as MC, and they’re happy to provide the company for each other that they both need.

Playing video games together and staying up late ranting about anime to each other. MC joking that they’re jealous of Ruri-chan and Levi making up for it with kisses. Blushing when a MC calls him attractive.

His demon form is really cute, and his angel form (as well as the image above) is one of the few times he goes form adorable to HOT. While I don’t have it unlocked, I also really like the Yokai form!

Also, I think he’s the most gay-coded out of all the brothers, but that could just be because he’s my favorite lol. But come on, you can’t tell me he doesn’t have at least one BL he’s obsessing over. Not that reading BL makes you gay ofc. But gay people are definitely on his radar at the very least.

2. Solomon

Used to be lower because I didn’t really know him as well, but after his birthday event he skyrocketed up to #2! He’s so nerdy, and his magic is just objectively cool. He really cares about MC and is super romantic. His inability to cook is a cute quirk, and MC doesn’t mind doing the cooking. Not to mention he’s ALSO a TSL fan and has plenty of fandom nerd to match his science nerd. And he gets along with Levi, which is an automatic plus in my book. If I HAD to pick a ship that doesn’t involve MC, it would be Solomon and Levi. Like come on there’s NO way they haven’t smooched at least once during a TSL marathon. Levi probably falls asleep on top of Solomon all the time. A poly relationship with both of them and MC would be so chaotic and great. Even just Levi and Solomon being friends is so great. And if it was just MC and Levi together, I feel like Solomon would be a chill third wheel and wouldn’t mind too much.

Two humans leaning on each other as they try to navigate literal Hell, exploring their magic together and experimenting with potions. Conspiring to annoy the demons and representing humans as a force to be reckoned with. Sitting in the flowers and watching the aurora borealis for “research” and totally not as a date. Making fun of him for being old but secretly being impressed at how savvy and progressive he is.

And his everyday clothes look so fucking good on him.

3. Beelzebub

I don’t find him particularly attractive compared to the other brothers because I don’t really go for that muscular body type. But his exterior is deceiving because he is so adorable. He cares so much about his siblings and about MC. He doesn’t really get upset. (Unless he’s hungry, of course.) He’s surprisingly sensitive and has a such a kind heart.

Cooking for him and just watching the pure love in his eyes as he watches you. Big teddy-bear hugs when you’re sad. Trying new foods together.

I like the color palette of his everyday clothes!

4. Asmodeus

He used to be #2, but his vanity can be a bit annoying at times. The most physically attractive of the brothers, and his voice is really cute! His self-confidence and emphasis on his appearance can be kind of attractive, but it’s often overdone. Probably would make you do all the chores.

Aggressively flirting with each other to show your love. Painting each other’s nails and sharing gossip. Constantly complimenting each other’s beauty. Trying on cute matching skirts.

Asmo is ABSOLUTELY STUNNING in his angelic clothes and rocks those heels in the suit.

VERY MUCH bisexual-coded.

5. Simeon

He’s hot, that’s for sure, but he kind of has the personality of a wet towel. He’d probably interrupt a makeout session to ask who Google is. But he’s kind and pleasant to be around and would make a good boyfriend. He could probably also use MC’s help keeping track of Luke. I’d probably get bored of him after a few months.

I can’t even do the second paragraph because, like I said, he doesn’t have much of a personality to work with.

6. Satan

I love the catboy bookworm vibe, but he’s often too aggressive for me and too hard to please. His Surprise Guest always annoys me because he’s the only one you can’t get big hearts from, no matter what you do.

Having different interests in literature but finding those few special series that you can obsess over together. Owning one pair of cat ears between the two of you and constantly stealing them off each other’s head. He can’t write for shit but reads you his favorite poems.

7. Luke

Just… why? Why does he exist in this game? I really want to know which dev was like, “Yes, let’s put a minor-coded character into a dating sim and mechanically treat him the same as all the dateable characters.”

I’ll try not to fault Luke himself for the weird meta circumstances of his existence, though. Obviously I would not date him. He isn’t too insufferable to be around, though, and if I had to choose between being stuck in a room with Luke or one of the characters below, it would be Luke.

8. Barbatos

Barbatos is… fine… I guess. I think he’s supposed to fulfill the submissive househusband trope. As much as I love my subs, I’m also a sub myself so I need at least a little bit of vers in there somewhere. But it’s also weird because he’s submissive to Diavolo, but when talking to MC he carries Diavolo’s authority. I don’t really know what to make of Barbatos because it kind of seems like his whole personality is just being Diavolo’s messenger?

He’s also the most formal character, which is a bit of-putting for me. Excessive formality often comes off as cold and uninviting, and it makes it feel like the wrong context for romantic prospects. (This is kind of a theme as we continue further down the list.) It also makes it harder to get to know their personality, which adds to my indifference toward Barbatos. Still, I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he might be more interesting of a person behind closed doors. (He also may get more characterization in later chapters that I’m not aware of yet.)

9. Diavolo

I don’t really particularly like any of the Diavolo or Lucifer cards I have, so I’m going to skip them to save my 10-image limit for the last two

Diavolo is pretty great. But he gives uncle vibes, sometimes big brother vibes, depending on the situation. I can’t imagine dating him. His physical appearance is also a bit too masc for me. I feel like there could be potential there if he hasn’t been born a prince. It makes him seem more old and boring, and it sets up a really weird power dynamic that kind of puts me off.

10. Lucifer

Gives dad vibes, but not in a DILF way. Or maybe it’s just because I’m not really into DILFs. All the romantic developments between him and MC feel forced and choppy. He’s also kind of a tyrant. But he has his moments, I guess.

Also, this man SCREAMS straight. Just saying.

11. Belphegor

I thought he was cute before I met him but HOLY SHIT HE LITERALLY MURDERS MC! Sorry, no way I’m dating my murderer, alternate timeline or no.

And he just… I can’t even explain it. I thought he was going to be sleepy in a cutesy uwu way, but he comes off as more of an “I’m tired because I stay up until 3am plotting murder on 4chan.”

It’s cool that he cares about Lilith, I guess. He was in a really shitty situation, so I give him a bit of a pass. Still, we see Beel face the same situation, if not worse, and he handles it infinitely better.

I’m still convinced he’s secretly an alt-right conspiracy theorist. One of those Nazi femboys, maybe.

12. Mammon

This little shit. I know this is going to put me at odds with a lot of the fandom, but I totally respect everyone’s opinion about Mammon. He’s not an objectively bad person, and how you feel about him depends on your individual type.

But holy fuck. Mammon manages to cross almost every single one of my hard lines. He constantly objectifies MC, is flagrantly selfish, steals and manipulates without remorse, makes it abundantly clear that money matters more to him than people, and has an ego the size of Beel’s stomach. MC is just a shiny gold trophy he has to win and keep away from his brothers, no matter how uncomfortable he makes everyone in the room, including MC, feel.

He constantly refers to himself as マモン様 (Mamon-sama), appropriating the highest term of respect reserved for deities and extremely polite situations for himself, without even a trace of irony. So constantly, in fact, that I still picked up on this even though I play the English version of the game. The audio clips are enough. I’m not a native Japanese person, and I’ve only been studying Japanese language and culture informally for about two years, but I’m pretty sure someone talking like this in real life would be almost laughably offensive. Which is probably the appeal for some players, but I just don’t understand it.

To be clear, I’m not shitting on the devs or insinuating that Mammon is a poorly written character. He’s one of the best written characters in the game, actually. I think he was written exactly as intended, and what was intended happens to be the exactly kind of person I can’t stand. Sometimes when I get him for Surprise Guest I’ll literally just 3X Ignore him. It feels wrong to raise my intimacy level with him any more than the minimum needed for some of the Devilgram stories.

God I hate that guy. I don’t think I’ve ever truly hated a character more than Mammon. But I’m glad he has his fans out there to support him in my place. And to all the Mammon-supporters out there, I’d love to hear your reasoning. I really do want to like him, I just… ugh. Everything he does gets on my nerves.

(I’m at least willing to admit that he looks super adorable in this one specific card, though.) (The left one.)

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