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macandstella · 2 years

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CSI NY, of course!!

sorry for the delay @frostysfrenzy mobile was being super wonky about formatting. though, i suppose, when is tumblr ever not wonky?

my favorite female character:

you already know the answer to this and if you didn't, reading my url would give a big clue lol. it's stella bonasera. i could (and perhaps someday might) write an essay about why i love her but the thesis would be that she has gone through so much, experienced such heartbreak and trauma, and she chooses to be kind.

and what makes that even more spectacular are the times in which she easily loses her temper, where she snaps at people - suspects and friends alike. she doesn't trust easily, and lets so very few people in.

so kindness and warmth are something she chooses. it isn't a default for her - she tries to act that way. and there is something beautiful in a character that grew up so alone, that has had a series of the worst life has to offer thrown at her, who could easily allow herself the prickliness she clearly has inside her deliberately choosing to be kind instead.

my favorite male character:

sheldon hawkes. we don't get to know as much about him as some of the more main cast, but what we do get, i really love. sid hammerback is a close second here, but what puts sheldon over the top is two things

1) i love that he's a walking encyclopedia. its fun and he owns his nerdery happily, he's not self-conscious about how smart he is at all.

2) significantly more important, i love that we see why he left the ER. he lost one patient too many and so decided to do good where he would do himself less harm. he couldn't bear not being able to help people, save them. and then he applied to be in the field because he wanted to see these people before they ended up on his table, investigate what had happened to them, how they got there. its about compassion, a real love and genuine care for each person he sees. he wants to help.

my favorite book/season/etc:

season 2 or 5, probably. i would argue that maybe season 3 had better episodes, but the season itself was much flatter and also had some pretty bad episodes too. season 4 was done dirty by the writers strike and it showed in rushed plotlines toward the end and curveballs that came from nowhere and never got touched on again.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show):

oooooooooof this is really tough but my favorite might be 'commuted sentences' where two women decide to kill men guilty of sex crimes in a plot a la strangers on a train

its a great exploration of what justice means, what it means for justice to fail, and the people the system leaves behind - the men who got away with what they did were wealthy, powerful, white, and the women were left knowing the system isn't there to protect them.

the contrast, too, between mac's reaction and stella's also made the episode great. mac - whose righteousness is a defining characteristic - strongly disapproved of what those women did. considered it a plot to subvert the justice system because they didn't get the result they wanted.

but at the end of the episode, the woman who'd been raped by the man this woman killed sees her and they share smiles, like she's grateful, like they understand each other. and stella watches, and she seems like she gets it, too.

my favorite cast member:

melina. every interview she's in, she's so funny and its infectious. the BTS tidbit about how once it got super late at night, she would sing show tunes and have gary try to guess what musical they were from? that if she got even more tired, she'd start singing her lines as long as the cameras weren't rolling? i found a fiber, here it is sometimes still gets stuck in my head unprompted. the episodes where she had writing credit were good and well thoughtout. very much about greece and stella's greek identity, but that's to be expected.

my favorite ship:

again i refer you to my url asdfghjkl

i do love mac and stella. they were a very formative ship for me.

on paper, they don't have much in common. mac is the 'straightman' (military background, emphasis on the science and remaining unattached to cases, griefstricken) to stella's 'renegade' (quick temper, penchant for bending - if not outright breaking - the rules, follows instinct as much as evidence).

but they care so deeply about each other. they are best friends and they see each other through their worst times.

"still not sleeping?" "reminds me of the old mac taylor" "i can honestly say i wouldn't do this job without you" "you're happy!" "thats what partners do, we take care of each other" "how are you holding up?" "you and i are a lot alike"

there's a real bedrock of trust and friendship there. they are each other's person, letting them see parts of them they don't share with other people. you believe that they are old friends from the very first time that you see them on screen, and they never lose that sense of familiarity and intimacy.

a character I’d die defending:

for the sake of not choosing stella again (though i would), i'll choose danny.

i really like that the writers made him a character who is flawed but trying. they give him the same tests so we can see how he handles them differently the next time, how he learns, how he grows. he messes up, of course, but we get to watch him realize he made a mistake and either fix it or avoid it in a similar situation again.

a character I just can’t sympathize with:

i hate to keep slamming adam in these kinds of posts because it makes it seem like i really hate his character, which i dont! there are lots of things i do like about adam, even if i do think he's kind of grating overall.

csi:ny very rarely went for sympathetic suspects (not an uncommon choice in crime shows of this era, but fewer than the OG and other Bruckheimer series) and the ones that they did really hit their mark. i never felt like i was supposed to sympathize with a person and just didnt. csi:ny did well with character-based content in that way.

a character I grew to love:

peyton. it took me a couple of rewatches to appreciate her character outside her relationship with mac, and in that way i think she was done dirty by having her introduction scene be in bed with him, the first tension her character faces in the show be about him acting skittish after seeing her at a crime scene despite the fact that he knows they work together.

the issue is we are dropped in the middle of that relationship, so i'm not compelled by that tension. what do i care if mac is still hesitant about this? i just learned that this character and relationship exists a couple minutes ago, i'm not invested yet.

but outside that relationship is actually where her character shines. she's witty and playful and fun, as well as smart and principled and dedicated! i wish we got to see more of who she is outside of her relationship, because as a character she had so much potential to be great. of course, she does remind me strongly of jane - the DNA analyst from season 1 - but while similar, she's her own character and could have been brilliant if she and her relationships had been allowed to develop more organically.

my anti otp:

i dont have one???? which is odd because i can be a contrarian bitch about this stuff sometimes, but the canon relationships range from excellent to decent, and im not put off by anything really

#frostysfrenzy #answered #csi:ny #ask box

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supercilium-sulcos · 4 years

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Fictober: Day 2

Prompt number: 2 - “that’s the easy part”

Fandom: Dragon Age 2

Rating: T

Warnings/Tags: blood, language

Carver Hawke was born to be more than his brother’s shadow.

Little Hawke. Junior. The baby brother. Maker, it never ends. It’s all anyone ever sees.

His mother made it especially easy the day Carver made for the Gallows alone. “What would your brother say if he knew?”

What would he say— piss on it. He’d be furious. He’d ask if a Gallows Templar is what he’d wish on their father, on Garrett himself, maybe he’d even have the audacity to bring Bethany into it.

Carver doesn’t give one moldy shit what his brother would say.

He will be more than his brother. He will define himself as his own man. For all its faults, Kirkwall is a chance for them all to start over. Even if Garrett and his mother squander their chances, Carver won’t follow them.

Knight-Captain Cullen is a good man. A good soldier. Carver hopes his armor may fit as well as the Knight-Captain’s does someday. Unfortunately, Cullen spends less time training recruits these days. It’s not with him that Carver learns the ropes, but under a sergeant — Malden, he’s called. Some of the more experienced Templars avoid Malden, and Carver’s heard whispers that he’s hard. Too hard. From the outside he’s rough, sure. And perhaps none of the girls at the Blooming Rose catcall to Malden like they do to Cullen and even Carver, but what does that matter? Carver braced for the worst, but Malden is fair to the new recruits.

“You’ve pledged yourselves to a worthy cause,” Malden had said. “The city guard may uphold the law, but we are the order.”

Law and order. Carver likes that. If Kirkwall must be his home, then he will make it a home to be proud of.

It was Malden who eased Carver through his first lyrium dosing. Malden who clapped him on the back, told him he was proud, knew Carver was tough enough to endure it easily. Thinking back on it, the moment still makes Carver’s chest swell.

He’d turned some heads with his swordplay already. Even the Knight-Commander took notice. Sergeant Malden had told him, “Keep it up, boy. You’ve got a future here.”

Carver clings to those memories. To the thought that he can be somebody — and that someone else acknowledges him. Carver clings to them more tightly than he’d ever clung to his mother’s hand when he learned to walk, to Garrett’s shirt when he was scared, to the wild hope of glory at Ostagar.

He clings even when he sees her across the training yard: a young girl, no doubt a mage, brought sobbing into the Gallows with a five-Templar escort.

They have to half-carry, half-drag the girl in; the tears come so hard she can’t even walk. Behind him, a couple of the recruits chuckle at the spectacle. But not Carver. Nor Sergeant Malden. He watches them drag her into the Circle tower. For a moment, he swears he hears his sister’s voice in those horrible cries.

He shakes it off, disquieted.

Sergeant Malden exchanges a few words with another Templar, who then passes him a small scroll. Malden looks it over, not a twitch of expression on his face, and immediately looks to Carver.

“Boy. With me.”

Carver follows at Malden’s heels. Part of him grumbles his frustration at being spoken to like Garrett summoning their mabari, but he shushes that inner voice. The less he thinks of Garrett, the better.

Here, his only family is the Order.

Malden leads him into the Circle to a small holding room on the first floor. The mage girl from the courtyard is shackled to the wall. Her small hands look like they could slip right through the manacles, but all the fight seems to have gone out of her. Two Templars man the inside of the cell, and two more guard from the outside.

Bit excessive for her — she can’t be more than ten, maybe twelve — but Carver has seen enough by now to know he can’t ever let his guard down. Malden nods to the guards, who let him in the cell. He beckons for Carver to follow.

“This is how we separate the strong from the weak,” Malden says. “You can sing the Chant, you can best your peers on the training pitch… but when it comes time to wet your blade, do you have the stomach for it?” Malden pauses, looks Carver straight in the eyes. “Do you, boy?”

“I did that plenty at Ostagar, ser,” Carver says. He squares his shoulders, but Malden notices him glance uncertainly at the chained up mage girl.

“So they tell me.” Malden nods to one of the Templars, who unfastens the girl’s wrist. She sniffles and flinches away, scrabbling at her dirty tunic with her free hand. “Today is the day we test you in the only way that matters. Carver Hawke, you will make your first phylactery.”

The grizzled sergeant pushes a rounded contraption in Carver’s palm. A ring of gold encircles an empty glass vial. At one end is a small hole in the metal to allow the vial to fill.

It’s… smaller than he expected. He’s never seen a phylactery in person before.

Whether or not the girl knows what a phylactery is, she knows enough to be afraid when she sees bare steel. Carver unsheathes the small dagger at his waist and her eyes go round. She shrinks back against the wall, blunt nails scraping at the stone. She cries out for her father, sobbing when the other Templars yank her back around and hold out her shaking arm.

Carver stops. He considers putting his dagger away. Again, he hears something of his sister in those pitiful wails. Then he sees Malden. It’s like the sergeant reads his mind. And Malden does not order him to do it — does not get angry or yell or even berate him for being weak.

He is disappointed, but not surprised. And that — that is worse than anything else.

“Leave her,” Carver says to the Templars. “Just let go of her. I’ll handle it.”

They don’t listen to him, but look to Malden. When the sergeant nods, they back off. The girl still cowers and cries. Carver kneels down in front of her. “Hey,” he says. “It’s all right. It’s scary right now, but it’ll get better soon.” He’s never exactly had a comforting personality, but he has to try. “My name’s Carver. I’m new here, too. Can you tell me your name?”

She peers down at him, glassy brown eyes bloodshot from smoke, by the smell of her. She reeks of fire and ash. Her tunic is singed, and so are some bits of her hair.

“Kira,” she says.

“Good to meet you, Kira,” he says. “People say some bad things about the Circle here, but we’re trying to help. It’s better for everyone if you learn to use your magic safely. Better for you, too.”

He trails off, unsure of how to transition the conversation towards cutting her before Malden gets impatient. She mumbles, “You talk funny.”

“I get that sometimes,” he says. “I’m Fereldan.”

“They have dogs in Fereldan? Those big ones?”

“Mabari. Yeah. You like dogs?”

Her jaw trembles but she nods.

“I have a mabari. Well, my brother does. Maybe the next time I visit home, I’ll bring the old mutt up here to meet you.”

“Does he bite?”

“Not even if I was getting pummeled in the street,” Carver assures her. “Big coward, he is. Got the brains of a mouse.”

Did she just smile? No, he’s probably imagining things. Trying to make himself feel better about this, too. “Kira,” he says, “we’ll make sure to get you some fresh clothes and food soon. First, I just need to take a bit of your blood. Can I have your hand?”

She doesn’t ask what for. She doesn’t ask if it will hurt. Clearly she knows the answer to both already. She flexes her fingers and looks down at them with her lower lip between her teeth. The Templar to her left lets out an irritated grunt. “Andraste’s tits. We haven’t got all day. Give him your fucking hand, you little hellbeast.” He gives her a shove for good measure.

Carver nearly snaps at him, but Kira extends her shaking arm to Carver. She ducks her head against her chest, silent as the grave.

The blade is sharp, so it hurts less and heals cleaner. But it doesn’t make Carver feel any less guilty for pressing the blade against her wrist. He holds the phylactery under her wound to catch the blood, holds her hand steady so she doesn’t squirm away and make it any harder on herself. And he talks to her. He tells her about the mabari, about how dumb and goofy he is, how much he likes it when he gets scratched behind the ears. Maybe it doesn’t make it better. But he hopes. Maker, he hopes.

When it’s full, the phylactery magically seals itself shut. The blood inside of it glows a bright, piercing scarlet.

“There,” he says. “All done. See? You’re all right.”

He wraps a clean cloth around her wrist until a healer can see to her. The worst is over now. She can settle in, clean up, and be around other mages who will help her acclimate to her new life. She’ll be all right now.

The Templars take her from the cell, but Sergeant Malden stays behind, so Carver does too. He cleans his dagger off without looking up.

“You look rather green, Hawke.”

“I’m fine,” he says. “It’s just — she’s a child. It’s hard.”

“Hard?” Malden says. “That’s the easy part.”

Maybe somewhere in the back of his head, Carver knows that. He tries to ignore it, but he knows.

“We’ll begin the Harrowing shortly.”

And just like that, Carver knows nothing. He jerks his head up. He must have heard wrong.

“Her Harrowing?”

Malden lifts an eyebrow.

“She’s a little girl. She’s not even properly trained,” Carver says. “And she just got here. She’s tired and stressed and — if you make her do this now, she’ll fail.”

“Three of your brothers-in-arms died in Darktown trying to subdue her sister, who became an abomination. That ‘little girl’ killed one of them herself, defending the demon,” Malden tells him. “Sympathy is weakness, Hawke. It is silent death. Either cut that weakness from your heart like a tumor, or it will kill you first.”

With that, Malden strides out of the cell, leaving Carver alone within. He cannot will his legs to follow. Then the footsteps stop, and Malden calls back, “You will attend the Harrowing. If she fails, it will be your blade that fells her. That is an order, Hawke.”

#fictober20 #dragon age #dragon age 2 #Carver Hawke #writing #my writing #@ staff WHY DID YOU TAKE AWAY THE READMORE LINK ON MOBILE????????????? UGHHHHHH

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qualapec · 7 years

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Favorite characters meme

@myheartgoesswimming tagged me in this!

“Post 10 of your favorite characters from different fandoms, in no particular order, and tag 10 people [if you want!] “

I’m a JERK who can’t help but rank my favorite characters,

Favorite male characters:

1. Jacob Frye Jacob had an absolutely unprecedented climb up my favorite characters list. He went from being this butch asshole in the trailers for AC:S to...I LOVE MY BI SON??? I don’t think I’ve purely identified with a character so much since Marian Hawke in DAII when I was a closeted 18 year old who didn’t think I’d ever come out. Like, I’m ultimately not too protective of my favorite dudes--I look at my list and I’m like, yeah, this is mostly garbage. Jacob is the one dude character who I have actually cried over people saying shit about him (I casually call Jacob garbage a lot, but not too long ago a good friend said “yeah, he fucks up everything. really everyone would be better off without him” and I cried harder than I thought I would).

I identify with Jacob because he’s a giant ADHD bisexual who messes up literally everything he does but still tries the best he can to be a good person and he’s someone who still legitimately cares about people who have hurt him deeply. At the same time, he’s not a queer character that wants to fully integrate with society either. He’s funny and loves his sister and she’s a better Assassin than he is. He’s a good person but his queerness isn’t clean--it’s rough and it hurts and it damages his relationships and it’s so real to me.

I’ve never felt happier about being bi and not totally good at things than the months after AC:S came out and Jacob was announced as canonically bisexual. Before that I’d been struggling a lot with the lesbians v. bi women thing, and Jacob just made me feel so good about myself and so hopeful. I love Jacob Frye.

2. Johannes Cabal I have never been more right about a character’s ultimate arc than I was with Cabal. He’s been on my list of faves for years, but the fifth book jettisoned him into second place among the guys. If he were canonically queer he and Jacob would probably be tied tbqh. I love this horrible man. I love his arc. Anyone who wants to write villains with a redemption should read these books. SPOILERS but I love how his arc isn’t about accepting things the way they are re: death. He never accepts the Bible, never goes to confession and gets his sins forgiven. He never gives up his desire for things to be changed and for the unfairness/injustice of death to be righted and his disbelief in religion as a savior. He never gives up his arrogance. He’s still really smart.

But by the end, he becomes a human who is worthy of having friends and is capable of doing the right thing and that means so much to me. I expected a giant Thing at the end where he did something truly villainous to show that he was Always That Way and Always Would Be, but it never happened. He slowly defeated evil within himself without even knowing it, and that matters to me.

END SPOILERS. The second trash wizard I ever fell in love with.

3. Loki (MCU). Oh, Loki. My queer rage analogue.

Some context: I saw Thor (2011) when my family was falling apart. I was mad, so mad. That scene when Loki confronts Odin was so profound to me--I read it as a coming out scene, and I know a lot of other queer folks did, too.

I’ve known I was bi since Dragon Age II, as dumb as that sounds. When I wanted nothing more than to romance both a dude and a lady. BUT I had planned to bury it. It was easier to just date men, so why not? When Loki was revealed as Canonically Bisexual, that was really when the word clicked for me. That was the moment I think I knew that word was truly inescapable for me.

Whoo boy. That scene in the Avengers when he shows up after creating a portal with the Tesseract and intends to tear the world apart...that’s the moment I realized how queer and angry I was. I was closeted and wanted to burn it ALL down. He would either win or be destroyed, and the fantasy of burning as I was was so satisfying to me--either way he was going to die as himself. I was sitting in the theatre and that was when I knew I had no choice but to come out. I was afraid. Anger was an easier feeling to have.

Loki. My reminder that I’ll take a queer villain over a Perfect Queer (TM) every day of the week and also for the rest of my life--I will never, ever care about a Perfect Queer, because that’s not what I am, that’s not the family I come from, that’s not the reality of my health or what I aspire to be. That rage gave me the courage to come out, and tbqh it gives me strength now.

4. Harry Dresden Harry is Trash Wizard Prime. I discovered him during a time when men were an absolute mystery to me--I didn’t grow up with many (any) good male role models. As a bi teenager, I started to notice men because that’s the thing girls attracted to men were socially supposed to do, and I realized I didn’t understand them.

I saw the cover for Dead Beat in a Barnes & Noble and I picked it up. He looked so dashing, so rogueish. And this chaotic good motherfucker is that. He cares about people and wants to do the best he can with his gift, even if he is imperfect, and that spoke to me as a teenager so much.

He was a male character who I felt safe with. Society hated him for his gift, and sometimes did its best to destroy him even while he was trying to be good (which, in retrospect, is one reason why I associate mages/wizards/witches with queerness). I felt like he was a man who would protect me as a girl who, at that time, thought of myself as het but who was very afraid of men (L O L. LOL. L O L. Biggest joke ever) and who had experienced trauma at male hands.

I felt deeply betrayed when, after Changes, he had intrusive thoughts about raping the women around him.

I don’t quite have words for how much that hurt. Cabal was never misogynist in quite that way, and Loki is a virulent misogynist, but in a way that strikes me as very real for some queer men (not okay, but A Thing That Actually Happens). And as someone with OCD who experiences damaging intrusive thoughts myself, I feel like should have understood.

I felt really betrayed when Harry’s character took that direction. It caught me by surprise. It was actually triggering for me--the message I got was “every man will hurt you” and I’ve spent years trying to unlearn that. I remember shaking after a certain chapter of the book after Changes. I remember thinking that Men Will Always Hurt Me if Harry would.

Recent books revealed it was the result of a demon in his head...but it still hurt a lot. I discovered those books when I needed a man to look up to, and I still feel like that trust was betrayed.

I wouldn’t really recommend The Dresden Files to any of my friends now--I still want them to read them to understand a very formative text for me. I love Harry Dresden. He is part of what made me, of what defined my morality. I love him. I want him to be part of a better story.

Also I will be 100% honest and say that his super cis straight dude descriptions of wanting to sleep with women really spoke to me as a young queer chick. I was really into “vagazzled” btw.

5. Cullen Rutherford WE HAVE ARRIVED AT THE OUTLIER.

Cullen has that Captain America vibe I usually can’t stand. He’s super lawful good and even upholds laws that he shouldn’t.

He’s also a drug addict who was deeply traumatized and needs his girlfriend to function (an ongoing theme with me). Even his very oppressive anger makes sense to me. It sucks, but I get it. That’s valid.

Also, I really hate it when people say his character arc made no sense. I’m sorry, those people flat out don’t understand narrative or think characters can escape their original packaging. Spoiler; that’s not an ‘arc’. Characters change, deal with it.

I think one thing I love about Cullen is that he was really, really tailored for women who are interested in men (note: not just Straight Women).

I think one of the biggest things for me is that he’ll do anything for the Inquisitor (his girlfriend). He was SUPPOSED to be bi via leaks from the company that made the game (if that was canon he’d be much higher on this list). But it does ultimately matter a lot to me that he was so specifically tailored to be a fantasy for women who are interested in men. He loves her. He will do almost anything for her. She helps him get over a serious addiction. Cullen taught (my bi/poly ass) about m/f narratives that I needed.

I guess I have a Thing for men who really need the women in their lives. Cullen gets the girlfriend role, and all the trauma that only men are usually allowed to have.

Honorable mentions:

Victor and Yuuri from Yuri on Ice. (If they had more canonical trauma, they would have lettered, and they may in the future. I love that Literally Wearing a Bi Flag Victor is a garbage human being who doesn’t understand feelings but still loves is boyfriend and doesn’t want that relationship to end. I love how Yuuri is an anxious gay baby.) Albert Wesker, a truly fine villain who was not done justice by those movies. Ned Wynert, who taught me a lot about writing characters from marginalized groups I am not a part of.

Favorite lady characters: 1. Marian Hawke. I almost don’t have words for how deeply formative Hawke is to me. She changed my life. I know she can be a different person no matter who plays her, but I think the things I fundamentally love about her are somehow universal.

For context on Marian Hawke--I was 18 and deeply closeted when I played DAII for the first time. I had committed to “never coming out” because I thought it would make my mom sad. I remember sitting in the uni library and thinking about Hawke and how bi aka queer (ADDITIONALLY poly) I was and I regret how that was the moment I decided I would only date men because it would be easier. That didn’t last. I didn’t know how much that would tear me up inside.

Hawke was the first gateway to my sexuality, but I thought I could avoid her message. I knew I wanted to date both men and women.

Hawke herself is...me. Granted, you can control some of her actions as the player, but she still fucks up in a lot of the same ways no matter which version of her you play. She still tries to do the best she can (sometimes that’s a lot, sometimes not a lot, sometimes it’s oppressive). She cares. I can’t remember if she or Cabal came into the Trash Wizard (or trash mage) #2 slot, but she’s right up there on my fave trash magician list.

Because she’s so deeply formative, she’s another character I can’t be rational about. I HATE with every fiber of my being that she’s not static/unchangeable. I partly hate dude!Hawke so much because there are no female characters like my take on Marian that even EXIST. Soft butch, bi, diplomatic, kinda funny, kinda mad.

She tries her best, just like I think I do. She fails a lot, even when she means well. My Marian is bi as fuck. She changed my life. I don’t know who I would be without her (I mean, probably still bi as fuck, but still). I love Marian Hawke.

2. Evie Frye. I’ll just say it: Evie Frye fixed my ability to write female characters.

I was feeling a lot of pressure from other female writers (sadly, even particularly other queer women) to write WOMEN’S NARRATIVES. I felt like those had to be about rape and weakness and strength in spite of that. THAT IS A NARRATIVE THAT MATTERS, however I either struggle to identify with it, or I over-identify with it and I’m afraid to walk to my car.

Evie isn’t that.

She’s perhaps the greatest Assassin in history, short of Altair or Ezio, who made the brotherhood what it is. She lives and breathes that tradition. She’s most powerful when she is unseen, and in that way, I always feel safe with her. She’s the rightful heir to the entire series, so I feel like she will always be safe.

I learned so much about how to write myself and what I wanted and what I think a lot of other women want even if it’s not part of The Discourse, through Evie Frye. She defies stereotypes about what it means to be “woman”. She’s treated no worse than Jacob by the narrative, and she’s arguably treated as the inheritor of the Assassin tradition and like her skills matter just a bit more. The narrative could do without Jacob (as much as I love him) but it couldn’t do without Evie. She’s just as powerful as he is.

That we get to see her as both a new adult and a middle aged women is extra important. The fact that she spends her later narrative hunting one of the most virulent men in history (Jack the Ripper) means a lot to me. She is most powerful in her prime, while Jacob burns out later on, and that ALSO matters a lot to me. Shitty men are afraid of her, not the other way around. There’s no narrative where she lets the think they could rape her to win; she just wins. (Again, nothing wrong with female characters who use their femininity that way, but Evie just kills those fuckers, and that’s what I need in my life of believing in self defense).

I love her. She loves her husband, she loves her brother. She’s prim and proper and perfectly tailors her outfits and knows how to strike a killing blow. Evie is about a different kind of resistance than Jacob, but she’s still about resistance. She’s the first female character I’ve seen, in literal years, who is allowed to exist beyond her own femininity. She’s just allowed to exist and be really cool. Evie also means a lot to me.

3. Leonie Barrow This song really sums up Leonie Barrow for me. /They see you as small and helpless, they see you as just a child/ Surprise when they find out that a warrior will soon run wild/. She starts out as so?? Small?? compared to the overall narrative of the Cabal books, which are steeped in angels and gods and Lovecraftian abominations from whom the very foundations of the universe were forged. She’s the Innocent Girl at first. Her femininity, her innocence, does matter, but it’s not what I thought it would be. And by the end, she’s a shotgun wielding master detective, who Cabal CANONICALLY trusts to make the same logical decisions he would.

She is willing to kill to defend her friends even if she doesn’t like it. She will stand against the darkness and be afraid but she will smile.

She’s also almost /definitely/ canonically bi at the end of the fifth book, short of the actual word being used. It’s not a plot spoiler, but it gives me life either way. She’s not the girlfriend, she’s not the Woman, she’s something else and she matters in her own way. Her potential is limitless, and I’m inspired by her every single day. People talk about Stever Rogers as their human ideal, but I guess Leonie Barrow is my comfortable alternative.

Leonie Barrow saves people by her empathy--and she’s also willing to wield a shotgun. Outside of a magical girl narrative, she and Elizabeth DeWitt are the purest versions of the ‘weaponized femininity’ narrative I can think of.

4. Elizabeth DeWitt Oh, Elizabeth. I love her. I love her fucked up history. I love her fucked up present and her implied fucked up future. I wish she had a better ending. If I ever write fic, it will be to correct what has been done to her by canon.

Elizabeth is trying to escape her fate. Her ultimate arc may be about accepting a shitty end, but I don’t think that has to be the case, since I think so much of her story is about denying her future. Like her, I will always hope and strive for something better. She’s femme and hard and powerful and will break the world and make it whole again all with one wishing <3 .

She has the power of a god and the writers/developers/designers didn’t know how to handle that in an interesting way. I love her.

5. Talia (from Arrows of the Queen) SO

When you are reading about a clinically depressed character and you think, “I IDENTIFY WITH HER SO MUCH” that’s probably a sign. So many times, Talia tried to tell me how I was feeling, and it took me a very long time to listen.

I was easily clinically depressed when I read the Arrows of the Queen books. My uncle had just died without me coming out to him. I felt like a disappointment to my mom. My bachelors degree was on fire and it wasn’t totally my fault. There was nothing about myself that I didn’t deeply despise when I read these books, nothing that I didn’t feel the world would be better without. I didn’t want to die, since I have a very particular attachment to my mortality and no matter what, I’m attached to my life for my mom, but I felt so fundamentally worthless that it still hurts to think about. I haven’t been that low since then, and I hope to never be that low again.

I was depressed and I didn’t know it. I don’t think I was truly suicidal even then, even if I was experiencing almost daily suicidal ideation. I don’t think I would have died, but I still think Talia saved my life a little bit--she at least taught me that it’s okay to acknowledge my illness and seek treatment and that it’s okay to want to be happy. I’m so deeply grateful for that I don’t even have words for it, partly because, while I think I would have survived, I wouldn’t be happy.

Talia also got to fuck the most desirable male characters in the Arrows of the Queen trilogy. Even though she was quiet and was shy and was depressed. The message was this: I could have love even if I was mentally ill. I specify ‘male’ characters because Talia was straight, and also because a part of me feels less desirable to men than women, so that fantasy means a lot to me.

Talia is me at my most vulnerable. Talia is me when I want to reach into my own chest and tear myself apart. I love her. She matters. <3

Honorable mentions:

Pearl from Steven Universe (my favorite anxious lesbian, who got a great character arc that I never expected to be validating to both the lesbian-bi women dilemma and to her mental illness. I <3 Pearl). All the women in Overwatch. Sailor Moon and her soldiers. Tamora Pierce’s heroines. Lara Croft.

Tagging @swimthroughthefires @fakeandroid @doomquasar @amandaironic @strawberrylaugh @ghostofthemotif

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart Review – The First Real PS5 Showcase?

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While the Ratchet & Clank series has remained consistently popular over the last 19 years, the franchise has arguably never enjoyed a spotlight as bright as the one Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart finds itself in now.

After all, Rift Apart is not only one of the biggest releases in what could prove to be a year of delays; it’s the latest entry in a key PlayStation franchise developed exclusively for PS5. There are many fans who hope that Rift Apart may just be the PS5 game that properly showcases the power and potential of the PS5 at a time when incredible circumstances may be preventing many developers from fully utilizing the next-generation of gaming technology.

Well, Rift Apart doesn’t quite achieve PS5 system seller status, but that doesn’t mean it’s not one of the console’s most enjoyable experiences and one of 2021 best games so far.

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Rift Apart Works Best As a Classic Ratchet and Clank Game

2002’s Ratchet & Clank distinguished itself from a considerable collection of platformers popular at the time through its action-focused gameplay that blurred genre lines and offered one of the most creative and engaging shooter experiences of the era.

Years later, not much has changed. Rift Apart works best when you’re jumping around, using your various navigation tools to gain momentum, and shooting waves of enemies with a series of elaborate weapons. While the thrill and splendor of these encounters shine through in just about every action sequence, veteran players will definitely want to bump up the difficulty level a few notches to get the most out of it. Indeed, some of the game’s more intense moments on higher difficulty settings made my hands sweat, which is a reaction I can’t say I’ve gotten from a modern title since the Tony Hawk remasters.

So far as that goes, it certainly doesn’t hurt that Rift Apart is a stunningly beautiful game. While even the title’s quietest moments are filled with visual details that will excite photo mode enthusiasts everywhere, it’s Rift Apart’s action scenes and their side hustle as one of the greatest video game fireworks displays you’ve ever seen that steal the show. It’s often all you can do to keep from gawking at the onslaught of particle effects long enough to live to see the next visual showcase.

Actually, there are times when the game also seems to be struggling to keep up with the action. I was somewhat surprised by the amount of slowdown I experienced during Rift Apart’s biggest battles. I didn’t get to spend as much time with the optional Performance Modes and Day One patch update (they only became available recently), but I will say that both do seem to have helped performance overall, especially when it comes to framerate.

Some of the PS5’s other notable features end up being something of a mixed bag in the final game. For instance, I like the idea of using trigger sensitivity to swap between a gun’s primary and alternate fire modes, but in the heat of battle, it can be a little hard to utilize that function without making mistakes. The DualSense’s powerful context-sensitive vibrations are also sometimes so intense that they can actually pull you out of the action rather than push you further into it. Thankfully, both of those features are adjustable in the game’s settings menu.

Ultimately, though, Rift Apart is simply a blast whenever it’s throwing enemies at you and forcing you to maximize the potential of your arsenal to defeat them. I also found many of the platforming sections (especially those that led to hidden items or new pieces of armor) to be an absolute joy. It’s when the game tries to do…other things that the quality takes a slight dip.

There are all kinds of gameplay diversions to be found in Rift Apart, and some are certainly better than others. For instance, I liked many of the rail sliding action sequences, but most of the game’s puzzles felt tacked on. Actually, you have the ability to simply skip puzzles (even those that yield collectible rewards), so even the developers seem to be at acknowledging that they’re not the most essential part of the experience and that some players will want to simply move past them.

Even if some of those “diversion” sequences are better than others, I can’t say that any of them offered the thrill of a massive battle, the joy of upgrading a weapon (through both regular use and an expansive upgrade tree system), or even the old-school platforming pleasure of exploring Rift Apart’s various planets in search of every hidden item and optional objective. There is a very, very good game at the heart of the basic Ratchet & Clank experience, which makes it that much stranger that Rift Apart sometimes feels so determined to abandon that game in favor of pursuits perhaps best left to other titles.

You may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned the “rift” part of the Rift Apart experience quite yet. Well, as it turns out, that’s both the game’s most enjoyable deviation from the Ratchet & Clank norms and one element of the game that often falls well short of its potential.

A Rift By Any Other Name

In many ways, Rift Apart’s interdimensional shenanigans defined the game’s pre-release promotional period. You’ve probably heard someone close to the project hype up the way the game would utilize the PS5’s SSD to allow you to seamlessly jump between vastly different dimensions in nearly an instant.

In reality, the game’s rift mechanic isn’t quite that ambitious. Most instances of interdimensional jumping are limited to highly-scripted sequences (which actually sometimes include “pseudo loading screens” disguised as cinematic transitions), quick jumps between areas of a combat arena, trips into secret zones, or a version of the kind of back-and-forth dimensional hopping previously seen in games like A Link to the Past (though that idea is certainly executed here in a more organic and technically impressive way).

While I don’t believe it would have been possible to feature all of those ideas as cleanly as Rift Apart often showcases them if it weren’t for the power of the PS5’s SSD and processing hardware, the game still occasionally reminds you that this is an early next-gen title and that Insomniac is still obviously figuring out the PS5’s full potential. I don’t know if it’s realistic to expect a game even this advanced to let you simply jump between vastly differentdimensions at will via some kind of Portal-like weapon (even if the game plays with this idea somewhat with an amusing late-game gun), but Rift Apart may leave you feeling like it’s teasing such exciting possibilities that it never quite fully realizes.

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Having said that, some of the game’s most memorable moments are closely tied to its rift mechanics. Without getting into spoilers, there was one sequence in particular that played with the idea of Ratchet jumping between two distinct threats across different dimensional timelines that eventually come together in a fascinating and satisfying way. Even when the game is just using rifts as a way to change the scenery or as a shortcut facilitator, the ability to jump between dimensions with relatively little downtime still enhances the overall experience.

Actually, most Ratchet & Clank games probably would have benefited at least somewhat from even Rift Apart’s simplest uses of the rift concept. There are, however, some ways that Rift Apart may have benefited from taking a closer look at what made those classic R&C titles work.

Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart Sometimes Suffers From Cuteness Overload

2016’s Ratchet & Clank (a kind of remake of the first game based on the R&C movie) was praised by many for its gameplay, visuals, and accessibility, but criticized by some longtime fans who felt that the remake’s more “Pixar-like” style stood in stark contrast to the slightly drier, more sarcastic, and sometimes darker writing and characters of the original games.

Well, Rift Apart follows in the 2016 game’s footsteps so far as that goes, which is enough to ensure that at least that aspect of the game will once again divide fans.

To Rift Apart’s credit, the writing feels stronger overall than it did in 2016’s Ratchet & Clank, and some of the new characters created specifically for this story (which includes the wonderful Rivet and some others I won’t spoil here) are quite good and fare better than some of the Ratchet & Clank mainstays who were reworked to match the universe of the 2016 game. By the end of the game, I found myself surprisingly attached to a lot of the new additions.

Rift Apart is also a pretty funny game that’s lighthearted nature often feels like a relief in comparison to the darker fare of so many modern Triple-A titles. While there are some lines of dialog that will inspire eye rolls, the game’s scenario writing is genuinely clever. Some of the best lines come from minor characters and some of the most laugh-out-loud moments occur when you turn a corner and find yourself facing a truly unexpected set of circumstances. There are times when the “new” style absolutely works.

Yet, there were other times when I also found my mind drifting back to the writing, humor, and characters of the earlier Ratchet & Clank games. I hesitate to use the word “edge” to describe the difference, but it did feel like those earlier titles benefited from occasionally employing more of a sarcastic and snarky vibe that balanced the more cartoonish tones of the classic platformers it was building upon. Without those darker tones, Rift Apart sometimes suffers from a cuteness overload that occasionally feels more disingenuous than it was probably meant to be.

It’s highly unlikely that this is going to be the element of Rift Apart that destroys someone’s ability to enjoy the game, but it is another example of how there are times when Rift Apart fails to speak with its own voice and instead pulls a bit too hard from other sources out of what could be seen as the fear that this kind of game may not be as appealing at a time when pure action platformers are a relative rarity.

Yet, it’s precisely because there are so few games quite like Rift Apart that the experience proves to be so worthwhile.

The Eternal Joy of Ratchet & Clank

Even if Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart sometimes tries too hard to force gameplay variety or be a rough draft for the next Pixar film, those moments do little to diminish the joy of what’s made the Ratchet & Clank franchise work for all these years.

Rift Apart is a stunningly beautiful action platformer that offers an impressive array of sidequests, collectibles, and challenges that make it easy to pick up and play even after you’ve beaten its admittedly sometimes uneven campaign (though the unlockable Challenge Mode does offer a fantastic excuse to play it again). There just aren’t enough action platformers on the modern market, and even if there were more, it’s doubtful they could rival the joy this game so regularly delivers, and it’s even more unlikely they would be this visually impressive

Rift Apart’s unevenness and the specific nature of the things it does so well may not make it a system seller or even a must-have for every PS5 owner, but fans of this series and those who crave a colorful, fast-paced, and lighthearted adventure will almost certainly come to consider Rift Apart one of the most entertaining games of 2021.

While I would love to see what developer Insomniac Games can do once they’ve really figured out the power of the PS5 and perhaps the direction they want to take this franchise in, Rift Apart is, at the very least, a very good time that occasionally flirts with greatness.

The post Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart Review – The First Real PS5 Showcase? appeared first on Den of Geek.

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