#I am NOT fighting that thing

[thelittlemermage]

Imagine my surprise when my druid ass turned into a spider thinking I can crawl under the door and escape from prison only to turn into a huge fucking spider. Imagine my surprise yet again when Astarion got knocked off a ledge and I scroll around looking at where he is only to see the biggest fucking spider I've ever seen in my life in the next room. :')

#I am NOT fighting that thing #I love all of the god's creatures #EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE #I might have to get an arachnophobia mod because fuck that

[an--artistic--autistic]

i am unreasonably proud and excited about this

#disability #chronic pain #mobility aid #i am officially running a thing to make my university accessible #i am so ready to fight people over it and I've recruited a bunch of people #we may or may not end up in our local news too #im done with this shit #literally on Friday had to walk around the building bc the elevator broke again and i couldn't do stairs #should take 30 seconds instead took like 10 minutes

[qcomicsy]

I think a thing that people get wrong about Jason's anger is that it's not explosive.

It's cold. Jason isn't the type of person who storms off at every little thing or goes throwing tantrums and setting things on fire blindfully.

He's the type of person who's very practical. He keeps to himself, always. You rarely see issues where Jason's anger is reactive at the moment where the trigger happens to him. If you see his character up close, most of the time when he's triggered his reaction is calm. Even cold.

He gets triggered -> He keeps to himself → He makes a plan → And then he reacts.

Jason's anger being something explosive and out of character and out of place is actually how other people (characters) see it, because they have no idea on how it's playing out on Jason's head.

And that's a thing you can see operating since he was a child.

Where the only exceptions about this effect is either when someone he believes needs his help is involved.

See Nightwing Annual (2021)

But In Batman #411 when Jason learns the fact that Two-Face was responsible for his father's death and Bruce was keeping that from him as a secret his first reaction isn't to blow up on him.

Was to seethe.

Bruce goes up home after dealing with a Two-Face case (in my field we call that poetic irony) and asks Alfred where Jason is, Alfred's answer is that he's been sleeping all day (which is a conclusion that Alfred drew probably after going to check on Jason and seeing him in fact on his bed all day).

But when you see the next panel, even though he is on the bed, He's fully awake and both his expression and his body language shows that he's in fact angry.

This is the first time he appears again in the comics after learning that Two Face killed his dad.

Jason doesn't go towards Bruce immediately to demand an explanation or ask why he did this, or even to throw the truth on his face.

(Which could be debatable that that's something the Dick would usually do, but I'm not that literate on Dick's comics)

His reaction wasn't immediate.

His reaction was to go to his bed and stay quiet. Jason stayed calm and collected the whole trip until meeting Two Face again.

But the moment Jason as Robin has the opportunity to get his hands on Two-Face he does this

From Bruce, and maybe Alfred's perspective it could be interpreted as out of place or him storming off.

But it isn't. Jason was able to keep his cool (even though he shut off), until he was face a face to Two Face.

Does that mean he planned that to happen?

That's debatable, in any moment of this issue it is shown that Jason was actually planning to get to Two Face and do this. I my personal opinion, other and much more plausible explanation is: That he was in fact trying to keep to himself but couldn't hold back the moment that he saw his dad's murder.

You can see the same thing happening as Jason learns that Batman got another Robin in Red Hood: Lost Days.

Talia asks "You all right?" and Jason's first answer is "Sure Why Wouldn't I Be Alright?"

When he's alone he finally has the moment to break down.

(Actually both Red Hood: The lost days and Batman: Under the Red Hood are great case studies on how that usually play out on Jason's head.)

Jason is way more in control of his emotions than people ever give him credit for. The thing is that Jason holds it back until he either blows off or is capable to throw it back in someone's face.

#I didn't finish not even half of my thoughts in here but I'm going to publish it before it gets drag in my 182828383 drafts #if you disagree lets fist fight at six am #jason todd #q rambles #character study #writing Jason Todd #← this is not a guide this is literally the tag I use to organize things #q screams at the void #q rants

[irisbaggins]

In rewatching the season, I'm noticing how clever Aabria and Brennan were in crafting Tula's story. How well thought out everything was.

Specifically, the bear. It's been mentioned so many times before, but with the context of the completed season, I cannot help but be in awe at the skilful storytelling at display here. The way in which the Blue is described to appear wrong only in reference to Tula and her heart, the way in which Tula talks about curiosity and and having experienced knowing someone who died because of it. Of how Aabria describes to Izzy how Tula looks when she heals the bear, of how Aabria specifically points out that Tula recognises the commonalities between herself and the bear. These breadcrumbs that mean little in the beginning, that tell everything at the end. It's amazing, stunning, masterful storytelling. I am in awe.

#text_loke #meta from loke #Burrow's End #Burrow's End Spoilers #Aabria Iyengar #Brennan Lee Mulligan #i am forever in awe tbh #also the way i gasped at several of brennan and aabria's lines this episode #i'll need to pull some quotes from that whenever i get on my computer #and i desperately need to write a fic about everything that happened from Tula's perspective #but that would be AFTER i finally manage to finish the little beast i'm working on about that Last Fight from Tula's pov #'cos BOY i have a feeling i will write a lot. just 600 words on the intro before 'kill them all'. so y'know. a wordy little thing... #anyway. i love burrow's end so much. i cannot stop thinking about it #Dimension 20 Spoilers #D20 Spoilers

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 118

Everyone is freaking out. The titan tower was broken into, no signs of who it was, and Tim- Robin- is missing. There’s blood on the walls, taunting them, implying that Tim is going through agony, and they can’t deal with another dead Robin, they can’t- 

Meanwhile Tim is bemused, maybe a little concussed because that would explain things maybe, as he’s found himself in a living room full of books and there’s a pair of kids too? One is straight up adoption bait- wait no there’s three, with two of them being adoption bait and the third being a redhead. There’s a trio of small children there already playing by the couch he’s been bundled into. 

Where the heck is his mask- or his bo staff or any of his supplies- is that the fucking Red Hood?! No, couldn’t be, must be the concussion, because why would the Red Hood be feeding him a bowl of soup?

#prompts #dcxdp #dpxdc #Jason found lil tiny fenton siblings before he started some of his attacks #Pit latched on just as much as he did #He's a broody halfa whose ghost logic is that Tim is also his baby now #Baby took/shares his Name so therefor is part of his Fright #Is Jason a tad feral? Maybe #Are the rest of them twice as feral? #Oh definitely #Tim might have a concussion and is very confused because last thing he saw was red #Don't worry he didn't get beat up #The blood was a mixture of human and animal #The Pit when Jason is thrown in: Omg a baby #The Pit: My baby now let's go make sure you're healthy by scaring the humans and havin fights #Jason: *confused halfa noises* #Jason: I am an adult but also baby but not too baby to not adopt these smaller babies #De-aged Fenton siblings with only bursts of memories: Yeah that seems about right #Concussed Tim: But I already avoided adoption before.... :(

[starflungwaddledee]

night flight on the frozen ocean ❄️

#sorry i know i am supposed to be doing other things but i've been wanting to draw this scene for weeks 😭 #really wanted to experiment with the ice texture and the moonlit wave. i don't render often! #i think bandee would love flying *so* much actually #bit of a fight to make this look dark and ALSO stick to my hc that galacta knight is always brightly sunlit. think i got it tho #my comics #my art #galacta knight #bandana waddle dee #awtdy au

[ruporas]

asking and receiving (bonus below readmore)

[ID: A black and white, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood. In the first panel is a close up of Wolfwood's mouth as he says, "Vash". Accompanying it is a close up shot of Vash's eye, widen and cheeks flushed. Wolfwood presses a knee against the open space between Vash's legs and says, "Tell me everything you want from me." Wolfwood's face is equally as flushed. He continues to say, "I'll give it to you. Everything." As he talks, a wide shot shows the both of them in white space. Vash is sitting, leaning a little back with both hands pressed against the surface he's sitting on. Wolfwood is in his white dress shirt, stripped of the blazer. He's still leaning in with one knee in between Vash's spread legs, his right hand touching Vash's lips and his left hand behind his back.

The shot closes in on Vash's mouth and Wolfwood's hand against it, pressing down on the lower lip as he says, "You have to ask though. Go on." His hand moves down to Vash's chin, gently holding it. With a shy and uncertain expression, Vash hesitantly asks, "Um... K... Kiss... Please?" Wolfwood, without wasting a second, leans in and kisses him and indulges by pressing deeper, eliciting a small noise of surprise from Vash.

Wolfwood moves away from Vash first and with a smile, asks, "What else?" Vash tugs on Wolfwood's left sleeve, wordlessly budging Wolfwood to give him his hand that was still behind his back. In the next panel, Vash utters, "Hold me..?" He's holding Wolfwood's left hand with his own while his right hand is reaching for his waist. Wolfwood complies, moving his left hand to Vash's shoulder and his right hand continues to touch Vash's cheek. Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

More comfortable now, Vash leans in to kiss Wolfwood. Wolfwood catches him immediately, pressing his thumb against Vash's lips to stop him before demanding, "Hey. Ask." Vash looks back in surprise and Wolfwood meets his eye with a quiet, insistent look. They're quiet for a moment before Vash leans in again and curtly requests, "Kiss. Me." Wolfwood says "Good", smiling as he lifts his hand away, and meets Vash's lips. In the next shot, Wolfwood had adjusted his position, sitting on Vash's thigh. The hand that was once on Vash's cheek has moved its way to Vash's nape, pushing away the collar of his jacket with his pinky. His other hand continues to grip on Vash's shoulder. Still kissing, Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

In the next shot, Vash is starting to turn, moving Wolfwood with him. Vash asks, "Let me on top of you?" Wolfwood says, "Mhm" before asking again, "What else?" The next panel shows a close look of Vash's face. He's looking down, flushed and shy just as he had been at the beginning, but now, more decisive. Vash asks, "Wolfwood... Let me have you..?" A panel of Wolfwood taking Vash's hand into his, pulling it towards his chest. The next panel shows Wolfwood lying down where Vash had laid him. Vash's hand is on Wolfwood's chest, covering the cross of his rosary while Wolfwood's hand lingers against his, loosely pressing Vash's hand in place. He looks up at Vash with a shy smile of his own, flushed cheeks. He says, "All yours."

A panel shows a close up of Vash's tender gaze before he leans down to be closer to Wolfwood. The final shot is a front view of their positions, Vash's face turned away from the viewer; Vash is leaning over Wolfwood who's lying down with his right leg draped over Vash's legs. Wolfwood's left hand holds onto Vash's left arm. With finality, Vash says, "...Mine." End ID]

[ID: A follow up bonus comic in a looser, sketchier style. They're laying comfortably in bed when Vash asks, "What was that earlier?" referecing to the start of the previous comic. Wolfwood glances away and says, "To get you used to it. Asking. And getting what you ask for. Since you're alwasy hesitant about it." Vash's eyes widen, tight lipped. Wolfwood continues, "Knowing you, it'll be a tough habit to break..." When he says this, Vash can't help but laugh, unable to deny it. Wolfwood slowly brings a hand to Vash's cheek and continues to say, "So I'll keep trying -- whatever ways I can... to get it through your thick skull." Vash takes Wolfwood's hand with his, kissing the the palm gently. Wolfwood's eyes soften and holding onto Vash's cheek, he leans in to try for a kiss. Vash says, "Hey..." before stopping Wolfwood's lips with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face, "Ask." Wolfwood's embarrassed and with little irritation, asks, "Really?" Vash smiles, saying, "You're in need of practice too." They pause for a moment, Wolfwood looking contemplatively, before he's leaning in again, asking, "May I please kiss you?" Vash looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes." The comic ends with a "chu", indicating an off-panel kiss. End ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #it took me so long to post this even after getting clarification about the maturity warning and stuff #bc i am so shy about it. SDGMKDSGMKSD I LIKE THIS COMIC BUT IM ALSO SO LIKE... AUGHHHH.... #when i posted this on twitter though it was like... a few days after ep 11? ive always had the thought circling about vash deserving of #asking for things... and getting what he wants bc he never gets both. doesn't get the opportunity to ask and hardly does he get what he want #maybe the results can go in his favor but at some point along the way he'll still lose something bc nothing can ever go perfectly for him... #and he's usually the one begging and pleading with people to not. do something. it's not even asking at that point it's just straight up #please believe me. please trust me. please don't shoot that person. please don't kill anyone. please don't do it. #and wolfwood.... it was not always this lovey dovey ok. he wouldv noticed this habit miles away and they got into a fight about it the first #time they talked about it bc wolfwood is being hypocritical too. as he always is!!!! but i think as they get more intimate #wolfwood finds ways to make vash understand. smth smth insatiable want and love and desire for wolfwood that makes it much easier to ask. #wolfwood can also just be so compliant. sometimes. which is also an issue in of itself that id love to explore at some point #but he also just enjoys giving into vash fully and completely. #bc he loves him a lot. but anyway #i hope the id is comprehendible.... please lmk if there's something wrong with how im doing it asfdgkdsmgs #ruporas art

[rebornrosess]

“if there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact they didn’t do it right” andrew i’m trying to escape seasonal depression don’t do this to me rn

#/lh but #girl i am fighting demons #i live in canada we are still getting snow blizzards i’m miserable okay #update: it is RAINING today and not snowing 😁 #eat your young #all things end #hozier #maya.txt

[vampirade]

doodle of will getting on his tip toes to mess up el's hair (affectionate)

#made it very bright because to me this was so joyful to make and it transmits joy #siblings when they're not fighting: 🩷 #my art #fanart #stranger things #stranger things fanart #willel #willel fanart #will byers fanart #will byers #el hopper fanart #el hopper #IM LIKING TRADITIONAL ART. I AM #but i miss digital because it's a fast way to draw #for me at least #like silly stuff like this

[zorionbbq]

sujimon, subzero sonata, redraws, etc!

#fanart #like a dragon #yakuza #yakuza spoilers #<- again not really but still #ALSO SPOILERS IN TAGS -> #apparently it's not normal to take 90398401 tries to beat the jima bros but i am simply built different #(goes in almost 20 levels too low with no group heal and refuses to grind until i die one million times) #and now so much plot is occurring AND [REDACTED] APPEARED FOR SOME REASON? HELLO??? I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU!!!!! #ALL THE REMIXES ARE SOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD GOODNESS GRACSIOUS #Y7 AND ICHIBAN ARE. EVERYTHING (PLANET EXPLOSION NOISE) #also why is saejima's face the hardest thing to draw ever i can't get it right at all.... doesn't help that everyone got smoothed

[mumblesplash]

as if he needed more ways to be everywhere at once

#my art #new life smp #scott smajor #new life scott #owengejuicetv #what if nightcrawler had the color palette of portal and the fashion sense of rey star war #actually maybe i do give him the nightcrawler legs next time i’m not sure #depends on how long this origin lasts tbh #also my Lord was it hard to stay skin accurate without laddering his character design #you know like that thing where a chars outfit is blocked into segments w tunic->belt->skirt->boots all being roughly the same distance #i never like how that looks and i am Constantly fighting for my life bc it’s so easy to do on accident #also i didn’t draw this but the thing where he ‘imprints’ on people and can swap places w them #shows up as him snapping one of his bracelets onto someone else’s wrist #+ since he’s the only one who can control them they can’t take it off

[inkskinned]

it is hard to explain without sounding vain or stupid - but the more attractive others find you, the more you're allowed to do. the easier your life is.

i have been on both sides of this. i am queer and cuban. i grew up poor. for a long time i didn't know "how" to dress - and i still don't. i make my sister pick out any important outfits. i have adhd in spades: i was never "cool and quiet", i was the weird kid who didn't understand how "normal" people behave. i was bullied so hard that the "social outcasts" wouldn't even talk to me.

i got my teeth straightened. i cut my hair and learned how to style it. i got into makeup. it didn't matter, at first, if i actually liked what i was doing - it mattered how people responded to it. like a magic trick; the right dress and winged eyeliner and suddenly i was no longer too weird for all of it. i could wear the ugly pokemon shirt and it was just "ironic" or a "cute interest."

when i am seen as pretty, people listen. they laugh at my jokes. they allow me to be weird and a little spacey. i can trust that if i need something, people will generally help me. privilege suddenly rushes in: pretty does buy things. pretty people get treated more gently.

i am the same ugly little girl, is the thing. still odd. still not-quite-fitting-in. still scrambling. still angry and afraid and full of bad things. of course it became my obsession. of course i stopped eating. i had seen, in real time, the exact way it could change my life - simply always be perfect, and things can be easy. people will "overlook" all the other things. i used to have panic attacks at the idea others would see me without makeup - what would they think? even for a simple friend hangout, i'd spend a few hours getting ready. after all, it seemed so obvious to me: these people liked me because i was pretty.

i worry about how much i'm being a bad activist: i understand that "pretty" is determined by white, het, cis, able-bodied hegemonies. if i was really an ally, wouldn't i rally against all of this? recently there's been a "clean girl" trend which copies latinx aesthetics: dark slicked-back hair, hoop earrings. i almost never wear my hair like that; i can hear the middle school guidance counsellor advising me that i might fare better if i toned it down on the culture.

the problem is that i can take pretty on and off. that i have seen how different my life is on a day where i try and a day where i don't. i told my therapist i want to believe the difference is confidence, but it's not. and when you have seen it, you can't unsee it. it lives inside your brain. it rots there; taunting. i get rewarded for following the rules. i am punished for breaking them. end of story.

pretty people can get what they want. pretty people can feel confident without others asking where they got their nerve from. pretty people can be weird and different. pretty people get to have emotions; it's different when they get aggressive, it's pretty when they cry with frustration.

of course people care about this. of course it has crawled into you. of course you want to be seen as attractive. it's not vanity: it's self-preservation.

#pretty in this post is a stand in for . literally all forms of normativity #warm up #tbd maybe idk #ps! hi!! i'm queer!!!!!!!!! it is how i identify! if you tag this 'q slur' i will fight you!!! #i am using it here in the EXACT way it is NOT a slur !! i am identifying as a queer person! #this is EXACTLY how people reclaim it !!! #it's like practically ACADEMIC in this usage!! #please do any reading into what the fuck the history of the word ''queer'' is before telling me #as someone identifying as queer #that i'm a slur. that the place i find comfort in is a slur #''well it makes me uncomfortable if people use it for me'' #im sorry to hear that dude. that sucks. i hope things get easier for you soon #but you don't get to take it from ME #in case you can't tell by the REST of this piece #i DID hear queer used as slur against me. i DID get bullied with it. i DID hear a lot of shit said #i also heard it about lesbians #about ''being gay'' #about pretty much any fucking term that could describe me. #i like queer. i like how it feels. and it's mine. #you don't get to undo the work i've done personally because it makes u uncomfortable #it's ahistoric to pretend like there are ''safe'' ways to identitfy if ur queer. #none exist. it has never been safe to be like this.

[iooiu]

sister of four younger brothers = violence at every corner

#the day i stop projecting my karai propaganda is the day i die fighting nick for my crossover episode #seriously is that too much to ask??? is it RLLY THAT HARD TO DELIVER smh i am throwing SUCH a tantrum over this #anyway have i mentioned i simply love karai my beloved #i was robbed of a lot of things and this family dynamic was one of them #will forever be salty and bitter and all things unpleasant ab this #tmnt #tmnt2k12 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt karai #mikey #leo #raphael #raph #leonardo #michelangelo #donnie #donatello #hehe look at me tagging all their nicknames too absolutely NO ONE is escaping my karai propaganda #nick u better watch out i am so ready to throw hands for that rottmnt cross over #kk im done #eldest of five

[theminecraftbee]

okay, so in a rare moment for me, there's a discourse thing i want to bring up, and that thing is. okay. so on iskall's stream there's this thing that can happen where someone brings up a criticism of his content or vault hunters. frequently it's self-evidently wrong, but sometimes it's not. and then iskall spends the next thirty minutes shadowboxing this guy, explaining himself, and completely derailed. and this is an iskall trait we all know and sigh bemusedly about, because he cares about the community and wants people to understand his intentions! he wants the community to understand his decisions!

however, it's not the community as a whole he's fighting; he is in fact, arguing with One Guy, who often doesn't represent the wider community, and who normally won't have their mind changed. hell, sometimes it's believable that they're satisfied having just managed to upset iskall, and they'll leave, no change to their mind, perfectly pleased that iskall's responding at all (that's what i firmly believe the people who poke at the 'you don't upload enough and that means you're falling off and a bad person' wound are trying to do, at least).

in the vault hunters community, we refer to this as iskall getting One Guyed, and it's typically viewed as bad, because it ends up focusing an entire moment on a single guy's negative opinion as opposed to on the larger picture. and it's an understandable thing to have happen! but it's frustrating to watch from the outside.

and so now i am looking at that cat poll. and the way everyone is still shadowboxing someone who has since apologized. and the way i would have never ever known about any of the negative comments about jellie if it weren't for fellow mcyt fans constantly putting them on my dash to dunk on them. and it's like. if you look through the notes most of them are just... normal? it's only a tiny few of people (and the pollrunner, who has since apologized) who were being dicks. it's a very, very ignorable demographic.

but. well. there was One Guy. and we had to correct them.

and folks, i don't know how to say that i almost never see "lol mcyt is cringe" type comments unless one of you puts it on my dash. both because i don't go looking through the notes of things that are likely to have them or go looking for reasons to be upset and because it's just... not that common! very frequently these days it is, in fact, One Guy!

i have almost never seen that poll on my dash without at least one instance of the One Guy. instead of being for fun, it's mostly become about explaining ourselves to someone who will not listen and will not change their minds, and treating this as a the whole of the Other Side of that poll, when most people are being... fine. they're fine! the majority of the people voting for the other side are doing it for perfectly normal reasons that don't require fighting about.

and man. let me tell you. after spending as long as i have watching vault hunters development? it can be just as frustrating to watch a fandom get One Guyed as it is to watch iskall.

#discourse #i am immediately turning notes off for this post as a heads up because i HATE discoursing but #man. i feel like i need to point this out. #sometimes you'll be happier if you go 'that was One Guy huh. better just block them and move on. i won't change their mind.' #one day this fandom will learn. #cat of the year poll #<- for those also trying to block it #also i know in many ways this is just me contributing i'm aware of my flaws #but sometimes i think this fandom needs to step back and realize it doesn't really need to fight the world. #sometimes someone says a mean thing. that sucks! you do not need to fight them for two days about it though. #and we do this with polls but also other people's innocuous comments SO MUCH. #so here i am.

[teabagboy]

I'd make some joke about s5 spoilers but i think ill just smash my head into the wall instead

#gonna continue feeding the masses (you guys) with more random warm up doodles cuz i am a procrastinating looser #i actually dont care much if they cry or not during the kiss but i DO want one of them crying before it cuz i love hurt/comfort shit #but not a lot of hurt. no more fighting. just a 'one sided' confession scene sort of thing #yeah #stranger things #mike wheeler #will byers #byler #/my.art

[stromblessed]

"the second day of autumn," huh?

In episode 3, Mizu agrees to duel Taigen on the "second day of autumn" when it is currently winter in the story

So can we talk about how

the day Mizu met her husband was probably in the springtime

the day Mizu finally slept with her husband was during autumn

and so was the day they "dueled"

where it becomes clear that fighting isn't just what Mizu is good at - she associates fighting with pleasure. she LOVES it

at least, when she's fighting the right person

In the brothel, when current-day Mizu sees the threesome in the throes of pleasure, while Madame Kaji is opining on being honest about desires -

Mizu instantly thinks of THIS

THAT FRAMING SURE LOOKS FAMILIAR

now HEAR ME OUT

a lot of the Mizu+Taigen adventures happen in the snow/winter, but you know what happens in the spring?

YEAH

YEAH

spring is when their characters AND their relationship both turn a corner

so Mizu's life turns a corner and she meets her husband in the spring, duels him and sleeps with him in the fall - and is betrayed

Mizu's life turns a corner and she reconciles with Taigen in the spring.......... and has agreed to duel him in the fall

it would've taken a few months to sail from Japan to Europe. March plus 6 months is September. Taigen is absolutely gonna end up in London because he fucking wants that fucking duel

do you see what i'm. do you see what i am saying

do you understand that the cherry blossoms blooming in Edo bloom in late March

during the spring equinox

and the "second day of autumn" is the autumn equinox

DO YOU SEE

#blue eye samurai #mizu #taigen #mizu x taigen #bes #CYCLES OKAY IT IS A CYCLE #i genuinely think that the whole taigen/mizu thing is going to be extremely rocky like i dont think he will betray her the way mikio did #but i think betrayal will still be involved #love and making love and fighting and betrayal #i am going insane