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#I am a broken record I feel
roseofcards90 · 1 month
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I feel like I’ve failed everyone I’ve ever known. Mom kept finding fault with me graduating late in the Fall and that point I just wanted to snap back and ask her if I should waste another semester just so she could have her stupid fucking spring graduation pictures. I don’t know why she cares so much, I don’t know why it matters when I’m just going to graduate regardless. I’m trying to save you money here by taking summer classes? Why in the hell would I waste another semester of your finances because you’re the one paying for this? She’s always finding fault in everything I do and I hate it I hate it so much, it feels like I can’t do anything right
And then I have my brain thinking my friend hates me. Ofc they would, I’m a horrible friend, I’m not worth it for them to stay, I’m not worth anything. My brain thinks of every little thing as “off” and then I end up linking it back to myself somehow. You can’t even act normal around them because of this. Why can’t you do anything right?
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o-wild-west-wind · 8 months
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tumblr algorithm stop feeding me takes that this show is just a silly goofy comedy that shouldn’t include death or that Izzy is the token disabled elder queer on the show where an actual disabled elder queer is literally the romantic lead or that Lucius and Pete being called “mateys” is diluting their gayness because it’s not “husbands” or that it’s sexist that Zheng lost her fleet and later prioritized her love for a man or that Ed is Izzy’s abuser because we conveniently forgot all of season 1 or that trauma is never followed through with because sometimes actions are used instead of words or that Ed learned nothing because the inn was apparently a whim as if he hasn’t been obsessing over retirement from day 1 I swear did we even watch the same show?? I literally feel like I’m in backwards land?
I have a really novel concept for y’all complaining about character’s arcs not being fully resolved or healed and that’s called there is supposed to be another season of this show
I also have another really novel concept as to why every single character did not have a one on one trauma apology session and so much time was spent on Ed and Stede and that is because this is literally the Ed and Stede show and also sometimes parallels are meant to be inferred and extrapolated because that is what efficient storytelling does instead of spoonfeeding you
And my most novel concept of all as to why some beloved characters had less screen time is because Max is a massive jerk and cut the budget
Y’all this wasn’t personal and maybe this show was never about Izzy maybe the show called our flag means death is actually about death maybe sad does not equal homophobic letdown maybe the brown gay character introduced as the love interest from day 1 gets to outlive the angry white guy that had a redemption arc after actively bullying and trying to break up every gay couple for a season I don’t know what to tell you just can you please let non-white people have this arc for once without assuming it’s an attack on you I’m BEGGING y’all
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goldammerchen · 7 months
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i insist with catholic* > protestant > (refuses to convert from lutheranism to calvinism) > state mandated atheist > "it's complicated"
*only if he began as the order, if he started as baltic he was not christian at first obv
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bandzboy · 3 months
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we have been saying this all along but i feel like more than ever, the only resort we have, is not giving them a singular cent when it comes to merch, tickets, streams and etc unfortunately it has come down to this and it's clear that's the only way we can make it clear that we are not joking around and we can make their pockets hurt i'm begging to consider this! it's not to late to join the more people join this movement the better
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mewkwota · 8 months
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To keep something very clear:
My Castlevania works are not related to Netflixvania at all.
I strongly dislike that adaptation, and am very uncomfortable with the thought of what I draw for this series being grouped alongside it. Moreso, I am not interested in any discussion on NFCV period, please keep that topic to your own spaces and away from mine.
While I cannot stop you from interpreting my work as you wish, I can keep you from looking at it if I were to find out.
Thanks for your understanding.
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good-beanswrites · 9 months
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Hello hello! It's me again! (That one Anon who requested Lies with Kazui & Yuno, but I've set up my account now so no need to ask anonymously again lol) Thank you for satisfying my previous request, it was such a delight to read. I keep rereading it every now and then and I'm still always left in awe with it like jesus christ you didn't have to go all in on that im sobbing with the 0207 friendship dynamic.
I've also seen your latest post and drabble asks. I'd like to request from the Drabble List#1 - #5 “Idiots. They are all idiots.” with Es themselves!
Let the prisoners have fun and Es just stares at them nonchalantly, silently judging their idiocy from afar, hell, maybe even let Yuno/Mikoto convince them to join. You can do anything as long as you think it'll fit, they're all just a little silly (minus the fact they're in prison lol).
With all that said, take your time and no rush! I can always wait. Thanks a lot! ...now back to rereading my previous request for the nth time,, i love it so much,, thankyouagain
Ah thank you so much, that means so much!! I'm so glad you liked it, that one was really nice to write :'D And yesss thank you for the request -- this was such a blast to do as well! (though I also made myself emotional over Es' lost childhood, that was less fun ;___;) I debated on several activities within the prison but thought this was plausible and fun for some mid-T1 shenanigans
Es had a job to do. They had many eyes watching them. They had several lives in their hands. They had heavy responsibilities. They didn’t have time for something as silly as ‘video game night’, regardless of the laughter that bubbled up from the common room as they passed by. They were not way tempted to join, regardless of how much fun the group seemed to be having when they peered their head in.
Fuuta had whined that Es had replaced all his requests with completely outdated consoles and games, confirming they had been successful in choosing things without any access to the internet or outside world. Plus, they thought, this gave the older prisoners a fighting chance with some of the games.
Not that they cared whether or not the prisoners had a good time. That wasn’t any concern of theirs. Even in these long periods of rest between their more eventful duties, they must remain focused.
The laughter crescendoed into delighted screaming.
Es figured one more look inside wouldn’t hurt. They were supposed to be keeping an eye on everyone, after all. 
The prisoners had gathered various chairs and bedding material, creating makeshift couches. Some piled onto the new seating, some splayed out on the ground, others stood in excitement. The television was so small, the two players needed to lean all the way forward to see. 
Mahiru bounced in her seat as Yuno whipped around her remote. Fuuta was demanding Kazui play better, gesturing wildly at the screen. Shidou chucked to himself as the others grew more intense. Haruka kept asking questions about the game, receiving an answer only about half the time. 
As the match got closer, Yuno leapt to her feet. She tried to shimmy in front of Kazui and block his view. He stood to prod her out of the way. Muu called foul play, though she said it with a thrill rather than accusation. Fuuta repeated it -- with quite a lot of accusation -- and tried to push Yuno out of the way. Mikoto tried to hold him back, voicing his support of Yuno’s methods. 
The others got caught up in the yelling. Amane’s eyes were wide in anticipation. Kotoko pumped her fist as the battle got even closer. The room erupted in movement and shoving and tripping and remote pulling -- until they yanked the tiny television forward. 
The thick cord came free, and the screen went black just before a winner was announced. Ten voices chorused their outrage.
Es shook their head. “Idiots. They are all idiots.”
They turned away as the prisoners hurried to set everything up again. They were just about to turn the corner into the panopticon when Yuno’s voice called from behind.
“Hey!” She ran up, taking advantage of their brief pause. “I saw you passing by. Why don’t you come join us?”
Not for the first time, Es wished they had enough height to look down on all the prisoners. “I’m your warden. I’m not some child here to play games with you all.”
She pursed her lips. “I’m not a kid either. But I’m still down for a night to unwind.”
“You’re lucky to have the luxury to relax. I, on the other hand, am busy right now.”  
Yuno made a show of looking left, then right, across the empty hallway. “And what exactly are you doing right now?”
“I’m working.”
She frowned. “Uh-huh…”
“I am!” They fumbled for more, coming up blank. They should have known the moment she came skipping over to them that it would be impossible to fool her. There was no need for this routine check of the prison; everyone was gathered in the common room except them. Yuno had known this before uttering a single word.
Her hands fluttered in a dismissive gesture. “Too much work is never good for you. It doesn’t matter how mature you are -- if you get too caught up in your job it’ll drive you to some crazy things.” She smirked. “Just look at Shidou. Or Mikoto!”
“I could look at you…”
Though surprise flickered across her face, she kept grinning. “Exactly! So let’s get you in here.” She tugged on their arm. Prisoners couldn’t physically move Es against their will. 
They huffed as they found themselves inching closer and closer to the entryway.
“I suppose I can come and watch,” they muttered, “and still keep an eye on you all.”
“No! No more working!” She managed to get them into the room. “Here, you can take my spot in the next round.”
Kazui looked over. “Who said you were getting the next spot?”
“Oh come on, I was clearly going to win that one.”
“Clearly? I'm pretty sure was seconds away from beating you.”
“Well then, I guess Es can take your spot.”
“Es is playing?” Haruka looked up excitedly. 
“I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”
It was as if they hadn’t said anything at all. The others launched into a discussion of who would give their remote to Es? Who would they’d face off against? Were they resetting the bracket they’d begun? Which game would they return to? The ten argued in circles for a while. For a group of murderers, they were insistent on a fair tournament. After breaking up some bickering that could have become physical, Es once again wondered how they ended up watching over a mess like this. 
At length the game was chosen, and a rematch was slated for Yuno and Kazui later in the night. To save themself time and sanity, Es went ahead and picked their opponent.
“I’ll play Fuuta.” 
He had been the obvious choice: he could supply enough chatter for the both of them, so Es could remain silent. Also, he was guaranteed to win and free them from an obligation to play more than one round. They flashed a look at some of the more observant prisoners, hoping they didn’t tip them off.
However, no one was really watching them too keenly. Mahiru clapped in joy. Yuno beamed. Mikoto shoved a remote into their hands. Haruka started rapidly explaining the rules to them. Shidou directed Es to their seat in the center. Kotoko gave them an encouraging nod. As expected, Fuuta was already deep into trash talk as he sat next to them.
They really were simple-minded people, more focused on this silly game than the fact their warden had just sat amongst them. It was dangerous to let one’s guard down in a place like this, Es reminded themself. 
With a little jingle, the match began. 
Their fingers flew across the controls. Though they had a rocky start, some sort of muscle memory kicked in. Surely this game had come out before they were born, and there was no way they’d played it regularly. None of that mattered much. Their little avatar was obviously gaining the lead.
Their eyes stayed fixed on the screen as they received slaps on the back and nudges. Their guard's cap was knocked off in the shuffling, but they couldn't risk picking it up. Voices called all around them.
“Aw, don’t just let the kid win!” Mikoto said.
“I’m not!” Fuuta was desperate. “They fucking tricked me! They’re a pro!”
Es felt energy run through their entire body. Their original plan already slipping away, they wondered if they could actually beat Fuuta. It would be fun to see… They leaned forward, holding their breath. The audience continued cheering the pair on. Once again, the room was swept up in shouts.
The match ended. A little banner flashed across the screen to name Es victorious. They jumped up, a small whoop escaping them. 
They would’ve melted in shame right then and there, if the sound weren’t already drowned out by the surrounding chaos. The others laughed and shook Es in amazement. Fuuta let out a string of colorful language.
“That was incredible!”
“Holy shit!”
“How’d you do that?”
Es placed the cap back on their head, pulling it over their eyes. “I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter. I’m done for the night.” They tried to pass off the remote, but Mikoto pushed it back into their hands. 
“Nuh-uh. I want to see this for myself.” He grabbed the other one from a dejected Fuuta. “Same game. Same characters. Lemme see what you’ve got.”
Es wasn’t meant to play one round, much less get caught up in their ridiculous tournament.
Don’t be an idiot, they told themself.
“Bring it on,” they told Mikoto.
#milgram#es#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#mikoto kayano#and everyone else#i always worry it gets too busy with too many characters but i think this works 👍#thank you for all your kind words!!! i feel like a broken record but it really means so much to me --#im so happy youre enjoying these as much as i am >:3#my next one is going to be a bit more serious but it was really fun doing these lighter ones :')#they deserve a night of relaxation and fun! im absolutely obsessed with es' insistence on their duty and solemn attitude#because theyre just a kid! they need a break! theyd get excited and competitive just like anyone else! they should be allowed to!#UGH#i think es and amane are a bit too similar with their struggles with age and being controlled by adults where its harder to get along#but yuno also understands what its like to want to be seen as a responsible mature person despite a younger age#and shed know how best to say things lightly but still meaningfully <3#yeah i thought about them doing sports or cooking or karaoke but this worked the best#haruka and amane dont have much experience with video games but i think theyd catch on quick#shidou has a lot of fun but he sucks ass LMAO#mahiru also isnt great but even if she was doing good shed let everyone else win to make sure their spirits stay up#im a sucker for writing where a character says something over and over and you just know theyre trying to convince themselves 😂#someone tell me to stop rambling in the tags and just make a new post for gods sake asdfsdfds#i hope you enjoy!#im late by now but woo happy getting your account set up 👏 welcome to the hellsite...#drabbles
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godblooded · 5 months
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random reminder that ily all.
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natsmagi · 5 months
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Uhh I don't send people asks very often so I'm sorry if this is awkward but I just wanted to say that your art is wonderful and soft like a marshmallow and you seem like a genuinely wonderful person so me and my two cats hereby announce to the world that you are allowed to do and draw whatever you want forever
WHATTTTT!!! OUGHHHH YOU ARE ALL TOO KIND TO ME!!!!! thank u so much though, it really does mean alot to hear 🥺💕💕💕 AND THANK U TO THE COUNCIL TOO!! i will most definitely keep drawing whatever i want!! especially now that u and ur two cats have declared it!!!!
in turn have this picture of my kitty trying to get into a box that he is too fat for
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marsti · 7 months
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why do people think im angry all the time 😭 im legit not an angry person and it's so frustrating that everyone acts like i am
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confusedkittensposts · 2 months
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The things is Castiel's story is a tragedy in many ways, any part you pick up it's a fall
May it be pre series, or stopping the apocalypse or the civil war, even the part where he becomes a Father
He is someone who has been manipulated and used and everyone just keeps chipping him away
When we meet him, he is presented as this outwardly, powerful being who everyone is scared of, but you meet him and you realise he is all that but also curious and facinated by the world the around him, it's new to him in many ways, and he still cares about it.
And he has opinions that don't necessarily go with his family but he isn't afraid to state them. He cares about his siblings, he has a relationship of understanding with most of them and mourns them as much as he can.
He judges Dean not based on how dean treats him but what dean does for others.
Castiel is someone who sees his own world fall apart with the rest of it and even when the world for others is saved he can never get back what he lost.
He looses his home, his family, the relationships he had for millions of years, he losses his powers. Like imagine, and I lot don't understand that it's not Cas + powers, he was created with them, he didn't just loose his ability to do some fancy tricks he lost what is equivalent to lossing your senses, your limbs.
Scratch mourning, he isn't even allowed to state the extent of his loss. He is only allowed grief and anger and hurt if it's for the Winchesters.
In Monster at the end of this Book, deanakes it very clear their relationship can only be transactional, he tell Cas if Cas doesn't help his he will never return the favour, and you know what he does after cas helps, and keeps doing for more than a decade he doesn't return the favour
Castiel asked Dean, begged him for trust, for support, more than once but he was mocked and rediculed and told loud and clear that he doesn't get anything, not even basic decency
Dean didn't convince Cas to reble, he ordered it and then got angry because Castiel took more than 30 seconds to give up everything he had known since before the beginning of time.
The Winchesters constantly prove Cas gets a place in the metaphorical table as long as he can bring something, give somthing
The Gadreel excuse is funny, because Gadreel told Dean, Cas couldn't stay. Throwing Cas out with nothing, cutting off communication with him, was Dean's decision, his choice. Because he couldn't spare a second thought for Cas
He learned that he couldn't trust memory, that it's had been violated, he had been violated. They took his memories from him. Do you wonder if it was angels who fought alongside him that took him Naomi when he disobeyed, or if others had to go through lobotomies because of him? Because he asked them to fight with him? Do you think cas did?
Castiel had to watch father look at him and not see him, he had to watch his father come and fight for Earth and Winchesters and not even think about angels.
He had to watch the man he loved point a gun at son's head, he had to watch his father, who turned out to nothing but a cruel, egoestical, uncaring puppeteer, kill his son. He had to watch his son's face being twisted into mockery towards him by a demon, he had burn his son
But it doesn't matter, right? Why would it? What's Castiel's grief, his pain, none of matters right?
Cause at the end of the day the only thing his life and death can be about is Dean Winchester
Because making a disabled, traumatized and suicidal character die, and be happy about it is best damn thing you can do to them
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zevrans · 9 months
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🥺
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bandzboy · 2 months
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hi tris, i just wanted to tell you that your passion and determination (when it comes to helping palestine and opposing zionism) is really inspiring me to be a better person. admittedly i had not been boycotting entirely because i really use my music as a crutch, but i'm going to try harder and at the VERY least decrease my consumption from those labels !! of course i have been helping in other ways (donating, sharing resources with my coworkers, imploring the people close to me to donate and help too), but i could be doing more. with all the backlash i'm sure you and other boycotters are getting i just wanted to send this message along to keep your spirits up :) <3 keep fighting, and i'll keep fighting with you !!!
~annabelle <3
i am glad that i could inspire you to do more! it's kinda hard to sometimes to be optimistic about this whole boycott (because that are still SO many people that oppose it and are disrespectful to those that are trying to do something) but at the end of the day, we are helping a big and greater cause and just trying to get rid of zionism in the industry and for them to not have a platform anymore! we must do this because it will help in the grand scheme of things. being okay with zionism in this industry is being complicit and truly we should not do that and be opposed to it. i love music with all my heart and that's why it hurts me that it is being tainted by these people every day with their awful propaganda and morals. they are still in positions of power and in every nook and cranny of the music industry and as a music listener and as an aspiring musician, i don't want this to be our future! i want people to listen to music without the possibility that they are giving money to zionists! i've been doing the best i can do share information and i'm glad it's getting through people and yes unfortunately there has been backlash in my replies and inbox sometimes but truly i feel like atp nothing will make me stop me from speaking and to do what is right. these people trying to stop others from taking a stand are cowards and quite literally stand for nothing and hate that their comfort is being compromised! i always think about how this is an important step to make things better! things like this take time and a lot of work and i, as well as the other boycotters, are willing go on with this until are wishes are met and everyone should think this way and not get discouraged because new people are joining every day and a lot of great advancements have been made and i believe that if more people join over time, this will end faster and we can go back to supporting artists normally
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luciana-silentstar · 1 year
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I decided because I love suffering that everyone gets their own halter.
#-pops on once in a blue moon to update and dip-#like what it's been. ten years since I've basically said 'hey life is crazy but I really wanna try to be active again!!' lmfao#somehow life keeps getting crazier in good and absolutely abysmal ways#have been sleeping on my floor for the past week due to Fun Health Issues which will probably be a thing for the next month+#and I would b*tch about that but today is the first day in the past week that I have not been miserable so#I'm on a 'I do not feel like sh*t! :DDDD' high lmao#I'm good!! life is just funny and I really need to do standup tbh#when I suffer apparently I am hilarious so silver linings 💕#chaotically toggles between emoticons and emojis bc f*ck the police no one can stop me#this is me a week *not* taking my prescribed amphetamines ahahaha#on them I am actually relaxed and chill which is funny#off them I'm either a sloth or nighttime kitty zooms basically#my body may b falling apart but you cannot stop my chaotic little mind apparently#ANYWAY broken record babey but I do... want to be more active.... if it happens I'll eat my hat but.#can I just say how elated I am that MORE SNOW#Winter Riders was my first SS game so. snow in game is v special to me and I literally dreamed about this and they MAGICALLY DELIVERED#I have a million critiques but clearly I still love the game and I am very happy with how they handled this lmao#anyway I hope everyone is healthier and a little more mentally stable than I <3#I love this stupid game a lot it is still my comfort... n0n-object. sldkfj.#also everyone must know I am f*cking OBSESSED with the unicorn oh my god#still a ponygirl at heart ig 😒 owell#also ye Dragonheart got an update!! heeeee#Dragonheart#Illusion#Brilliant Vision#Myth#Chocolate Dream#mostly sticking to two part names but ngl. for certain special horses I'm enjoying the single name options#also the halter thing is to sorta discourage me from impulse buying horses lmfao#I am 99% positive it will have 0 effect lmaooooo but everyone looks fancy now
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thornilee013 · 3 months
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I just saw the tags on the first baby Jean you did (I cheated and read the tags + sent my ask before going to catch up on the story lol) and wanted to respond to that too! Sorry for the non-writing ask, you don’t have to actually post this one if you don’t want, I just didn’t want to ignore those tags until next week!
I hope that your work does do something about what you reported, but either way it’s good that you reported it! If it’s something that ever happens to anyone in the future, there will be documentation that someone reported it and management failed to take the necessary measures to prevent it from happening again. You stood up for yourself and you may have potentially helped someone else out! You should absolutely feel proud of yourself!
You’re always so kind to me and I appreciate that so much! Thank you! Have a beautiful week! Besos xx🤍🤍🤍
prev | Baby Jean | WW 17.1.2024
Jean approached the desk and stared up at the person sitting there. They were clearly busy, since they seemed to be writing something down on a notepad. He reached up as far as he could muster and whimpered a bit at the stretch.
"How can I–" the person said before looking up and making eye contact with him. "Hey bud. Don't hang on the desk like that, okay? I don't think it's the most stable thing and I don't want it tipping over on you. What can I do for you?"
MASTERPOST
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siriuslynephilim · 5 months
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how do you cope with. when you. when something feels like it's magical and real and perfect and forever. and then you realise it was all in your head
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youremyonlyhope · 5 months
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Me: yeah I just don't want a repeat of last year when I was asked to sew one dress and ended up sewing six.
My therapist: Boundary setting. It's ok to say no to things.
Me: yeah I know. But I think this is just going to be some alterations. The show opens really soon. So it should just be alterations.
*A couple hours later*
Person: How do you feel about sewing full garments? They'd be pre-cut.
Me: It depends on the garment.
Person: Just a few skirts in the period style.
Me: Ok I think I can do it.
*A few more hours later*
Me: *Lying in bed trying to sleep*
Me: ...wait a second... GOD I AM STUPID
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