#I don’t think people should have to interact with adults if that makes them uncomfortable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crimson-rain-smoked-flower · 2 years

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I’m not trying to attack you, but do you know that proshipper means someone who supports and romanticizes pedophilia, incest, and abuse? Your reblog on that post seems to read that you think antis just hate on people for having ships they don’t like. But it’s completely different than that. Just looking on the proshipper side of Tumblr and the internet and you can see people happily shipping children and adults and making nsfw content of such things.

i appreciate that you're not being outright hostile, but i have to say, that on its own put you above basically every anti i've interacted with.

i understand where antis are coming from, i really do. there are a lot of things on the internet that make me deeply uncomfortable, including the minor/adult ships that you mention. i don't want to anything to do with those kinds of ships and i would be happiest if i never saw them again. which is why i'm proship.

nine times out of ten, if i see that kind of ship brought up on my dash, it's because i was following an anti without realizing it, and they brought it up unprompted and untagged, to talk about how bad it is that they exist. they are the ones putting that kind of content in front of my face and making it harder to avoid.

the thing about people who ship those ships is that they're generally very aware that not everyone wants to see that kind of content, and so they tag it. they make sideblogs to talk about it. they don't go out of their way to shove it in people's faces. that means i, and everyone else who doesn't like it, can avoid it.

what antis want is for it to not exist at all. they want the tags to be purged and blocked, and for anyone who uses those tags to have their accounts deleted. and sure, that might get rid of some of it, but do you know what would happen to the rest? it would stop being tagged. people who don't want to see it wouldn't have the tools to avoid it. this isn't just a hypothetical, that's what's happened any time a fan space has tried to do that.

that's not even getting into the rabbit hole of what should be banned and what shouldn't. obviously any content that depicts real children or real life abuse shouldn't exist and shouldn't be allowed to be posted, but basically any platform that people use already enforces those policies, and there's not much of a slippery slope to go down there. if it involves real living breathing people being abused, it's bad. end of discussion.

but the same can't be said for fiction. ask ten antis for a specific list of all the content that should be banned, and you'll get ten different answers. what about kink? what about roleplay? what about horror and murder and anything that involves fictional characters being graphically tortured? what about people using art to process terrible things that have happened to them? what about art that uses dark themes as a horror element? if you just want to ban anything questionable to anyone, that's the line of thinking that gets any mention of lgbt existence banned. and again, this isn't just a hypothetical, this has happened before, and that's generally where it leads.

i know, from personal experience, that antis do, in fact, send harassment to people just for shipping things they don't like. i've gotten accused of absolutely vile shit for shipping two fictional characters who were both consenting adults. i've seen ship wars turn into moral battlegrounds, over ships that an average person wouldn't bat an eye at.

the thing about "romanticization" is a whole other can of worms. the anti logic goes like this: if someone sees something (even if it's very obviously fictional) in a positive light enough times, they will start thinking it's okay in real life, and go on to hurt real people. the problem with that is that it's just. blatantly untrue.

if it were true every horror movie fan would be a serial killer, every person that studies dark media would be an unhinged psychopath, and everyone who is into ddlg would be a pedophile. but they're not. they just aren't. people have directed movies just as fucked up as the darkest shit on ao3, and are still capable of being normal human beings who know right from wrong in real life.

even if someone is that impressionable, scrubbing away the existence of every piece of questionable content isn't going to solve their problem, because they're still going to be vulnerable to con men, scams, and cultists. the only thing that would actually materially help someone like that is developing their own morals and critical thinking.

children are also more impressionable, and there's a lot of content that's not suitable for them, but that doesn't mean that content shouldn't exist. it just means that they should stick to spaces designed for them (which most social media sites, tumblr included, are not) or, if they're old enough to be responsible for their experience online, they, or a trusted adult in their lives, should block and filter out things that they aren't comfortable with.

which is what everyone on the internet should be doing. it's what i do, and it's made the internet a much more pleasant place to be. and it's why i sometimes worry for antis mental health, especially teenagers, because they're being told it's right and moral to seek out content that makes them uncomfortable and to engage with the people making it. and that's just. really bad. it's not good for the creators that they're harassing obviously, but it's also really bad for them! it's not healthy to seek out things that make you feel bad, and it's a terrible internet safety lesson to teach minors that it's okay for them to seek out and engage with people making adult content.

individual harassment and crusading is never going to succeed at removing dark content from the internet. it just isn't. at best you might get a small percentage of people who create that content to stop sharing it, at worst you're just going to make people stop tagging it, and either way, you're exposing yourself to things that make you feel bad, when you don't have to.

if you want to materially change the type of content you see, you can. the block button is your friend, use it liberally. same with content filtering and tag blocking.

#oops this got really long #cd.ask #proship #disk horse #tw pedophila mention #uhhh what to tag #tw shipping discourse #this doesn't even get into the antis that i've seen proudly professing that they care more about fictional characters than real people #because i don't know how to explain to someone that real humans matter more than cartoon characters #or how to avoid content on platforms other than tumblr bc frankly thats a lot of the reason i don't use them #i don't trust an algorithm #also im turning anon off after posting this so if you want to send me hate you cant be a coward about it #also be prepared to get blocked and ignored #the only reason i answered this person is bc they weren't being hostile

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eoieopda · 9 months

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I am here to request some silly, sweet Channie fluff 🥺🥺 as mild or spicy as you want, idm, just want some deep comfort feat. my favourite fun-sized snack 🥰🥰

the one with chan and the promotion

pairing: bang chan x gn!reader type: drabble genre: fluff, hurt/comfort au: fuck buddies to ?, pining rating: 18+ wc: 2.2k (don’t look at me) summary: you need a ride home after getting your wisdom teeth removed. chan just so happens to be free. | part two (4/20/24) cw: chan’s pov, no smut but it’s referenced, reader has outpatient dental surgery (not depicted), reference to blood/swelling, reader is doped the hell up. 🔞 MINORS WHO INTERACT WITH ME AND/OR MY CONTENT WILL BE BLOCKED, WHETHER OR NOT THE CONTENT IS NSFW. I’M AN ADULT WRITING EXCLUSIVELY FOR OTHER ADULTS.

You’re drifting off in some twilight on the other side of a closed door, but Chan’s the one that’s stupefied.

Mechanically speaking, he knows how he got himself into this position: drove here in his car, parked in the lot outside, walked into the front door. His ass is in this very seat because he dropped himself there, and he hasn’t moved in the two hours that have passed since.

None of that explains why he’s in his current position, though — why you reached out to him, of all people, to come with you to something like this.

Why he’s more giddy over that choice than confused by it, even if it turns out that he was your last resort.

He’s lost in thought when your oral surgeon’s head peeks out through the doorway to the recovery room. She asks if he’s “the boyfriend”, and he has no idea how to explain that he’s more of a “semi-consistent fuck buddy”, so he simply says “yes” before allowing her to usher him into the room.

You’re slumped in a reclining chair when Chan walks in, heavy eyelids fluttering as you try hard to fight off sleep. Better still, the gauze in your mouth makes your chipmunk cheeks stick out while your still-numb lips fumble with words. The urge to reach for his phone and snap a picture makes his fingers twitch, but he doesn’t; you’d absolutely murder him if he tried.

“Mmfph?” You grunt when your narrowed eyes manage to clock him standing there.

He grins automatically, fingers reaching up to tip a hat he isn’t wearing. “Mmfph to you, too.”

Whatever drugs they gave you to knock you on your ass aren’t strong enough to overcome your personality; you roll your eyes much more easily than you keep them fully open. That trademark sass must’ve taken a lot out of you, though. You doze off again before he can blink, slumping further in your chair with your head lolled uncomfortably to the side.

Your neck is going to hurt later, he thinks with a frown.

“Once they get their sea legs back, you should be okay to go.”

Chan jumps when the surgeon pipes up, having completely forgotten anyone else was in the room.

She clears her throat sheepishly, clearly aware that she’s interrupting something. Breezing right past that awkwardness, she pulls a prescription pad from her coat pocket. The top page is promptly ripped off and passed to him with a stern look.

She warns, “Make sure they don’t take this medication on an empty stomach.”

Damn — only two hours in, and he’s already being promoted from chauffeur to caretaker? It should embarrass him that this fact tickles him thoroughly pink, but it doesn’t. Inwardly, he high-fives himself.

Nice one, Chan!

“Soup is best,” the surgeon continues, once again pulling him out of his own head. There’s a pause before she remembers the kicker; she waves her hand urgently when she finally does. “Nothing spicy, though.”

He nods in understanding, and just like that, she pats his shoulder and disappears out the door. Unsure what else to do, Chan takes a seat on the small stool next to your chair and waits.

And wait, and waits, and waits.

Jesus. What did they give you — a horse tranquilizer?

When your eyes open the second time, they find him immediately. They’re still a bit glassy, but they’re much more alert. Bright, even, which is a bit of a wonder, given the circumstances. Right away, he can tell that the space cadet has — sort of — returned to Earth.

“Can —?” You gesture to your mouth, which struggles to frown around the gauze.

Uselessly, you flick out your tongue in an attempt to wet your lips. They're dry from all the time you must’ve spent with your mouth open, and his fingers twitch again when he pictures the chapstick in his pocket.

You distract him with what he assumes are words, prompting him to shift his gaze from your mouth to your eyes.

Everything that comes next is garbled, totally incoherent, but he gets the gist. With a quick glance at his watch, he confirms that it’s been thirty minutes since he started watching you sleep, and that feels like enough time.

Right?

So, he shrugs permissively; you perk up the second you’re given the green light. Bravely, you only whine a little bit when you lay eyes on the slightly bloody, thoroughly spit-soaked material as you pull it away from your gums.

Chan can’t tell if you’re trying to pout when you hold that mess out to him and stare expectantly, but the intent doesn’t matter much in the long run; the effect is the same. He takes your drooled-on trash without a second thought.

Squinting as he concentrates, he fires it off towards the bin in the corner like he’s trying to beat a buzzer. The pair of you watch as it ricochets off the wall, then drops perfectly in the basket below.

Immediately, he turns back to you with wiggling eyebrows and a smirk. “Bank shot,” he brags.

You ignore the true purpose of his raised hand — a well-deserved high-five — and instead latch onto it. Gripping tightly as if your life depends on it, you drag yourself up and out of your chair.

Before you can throw yourself entirely off balance, Chan swoops in to tuck you under his arm. You’re independent to a fault, however; and you glare up at him exactly like he guessed you would. Apologetic, he keeps his distance with his hands raised.

Go for it, then.

All it takes for you to accept defeat is a few wobbly steps toward the door and some curse words muttered under your breath, for zest. You give in faster than you want to and dive into his side with a long-suffering groan. You’re not looking, so he doesn't bother to hide the triumphant smirk that spreads when your arms wrap around his waist.

The walk back to his car takes a lot more effort than he initially expected. Though you cling to him like you’ll float off without him, you insist on attempting to wander in every direction except the one you need to head in. To the best of his ability, Chan steers you across the pavement; you babble through every stumbled step.

“I’m going to open your door now, okay?” He coos once you finally reach his car.

It surprises him slightly — the softness he’s exuding, and how much like a reflex it feels — but he doesn’t dwell on it. He’s got a far more difficult puzzle to solve: getting your wriggling body into his car.

After a few unsuccessful tries, you finally let him usher you out of the way of the door. You spill into his passenger seat like you’re more jelly than bones, knocking your skull against the doorframe as you go.

Jesus Christ.

Eyes wide, Chan ducks down to run his fingers gingerly over what will likely be a goose egg tomorrow. Nervously, he chuckles, “That — uhh — that was quite the entrance. You okay?”

Tilting your chin just so, you push your cheek into his palm and blink up at him slowly like you’ve already forgotten the question. Suddenly, so has he. Several moments whizz by just like that — with his arm raised uncomfortably and your heavy head resting against his hand.

Never in his life has he wanted to kiss a forehead as badly as he does yours. It’s like you’ve got a magnet where your orbital bone should be, and it’s a bit shocking. Whatever magic you’ve got — some sort of tractor beam in your eyes, perhaps — pulls, pulls, pulls, but he stops himself.

That’s not what this is, he reminds himself as he backs away and shuts your door carefully in his place. That’s not who I am to you.

In this moment, Chan is your taxi driver, carting you off to the apartment he’s been in a hundred times — but never once in the daytime.

As he goes, it becomes a little clearer with every kilometer: the sun can’t be beating down overhead because he feels it next to him, warming his arm through his jacket; blinding him whenever his gaze drifts over to the passenger side.

“Chan,” you pout out of nowhere.

Again, your head droops fast and bumps his shoulder. You don’t react to this second knock, but he does, sucking air in through his teeth.

“Need to get you a helmet,” he mutters with a sheepish laugh. “You’re gonna give yourself a concussion at this rate.”

“Don’t need a helmet,” you argue. “I need pork belly, bad. Stop, please?”

Glancing quickly down at you, Chan bites back a smile. You look so adorably pitiful with your hazy eyes blinking one at a time, lips all puffy to match your cheeks. It takes all he’s got to tear his eyes off you and put them back on the road ahead.

He sighs, genuinely sorry. “No can do, champ.”

You repeat the nickname, pop the last letter, and make yourself laugh so hard that you hiccup.

“Your options currently are soup or… well, soup.” He tries to sound firm, but if you pout at him a second time, Chan might throw your dentist’s warning right out the window. “Think it over while I stop at the pharmacy, yeah?”

In the quiet that follows, he swears he can hear the gears turning in your head. He doubts it has anything to do with what he just told you, but he doesn’t mind. Come to think of it, he doesn’t mind any of what this day has turned out to be so far. That doesn’t necessarily surprise him, either.

With the way things currently are between you, you don’t feature much in his everyday life; only weekends and the occasional weeknight. It works well, this thing you’ve got going. He enjoys what you do — that head game of yours is otherworldly — but judging by the glimpses he’s seen so far, he likes who you are, too.

Despite not knowing you on some deeper level, shit like this — being around you for some profoundly asexual purpose — feels natural. Like he could do it more often; be a little more than just a recurring character. If you let him, that is.

Would you let him?

That question rattles around his brain when he pulls up to the pharmacy and dashes inside, too wary to leave you alone for long but wholly unprepared to guide you through a shop in your current state. He’s still thinking about it when he jogs back to his car with your prescription in hand.

That bag is nearly dropped to the pavement below when he sees you, however; and he can’t remember what he was thinking about before because you’re weeping now. In a flash, Chan throws himself into his seat and jerks the door shut behind him, metal groaning in the process.

“What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t mean to sound so forceful, but he can feel his pulse in his ears. On instinct, he reaches out and places gentle hands on your temples. Eyes scanning for any sign of injury, he tries to bury his urgency in a soothing voice. “Hey — talk to me. Are you okay?”

You blink up at him with wide, wet eyes. Oh, fuck, you’re breaking my heart. His stomach drops at the sight of your lower lip trembling, but then you whimper:

“What if worms don’t have best friends?”

And Chan needs a minute because he can’t believe you’re real, that you’re borderline bereft over worms, or that he’s this fucking enamored.

Before he knows it, he starts giggling so hard that his eyes start to swim. Thankfully, it’s with mirth and not utter devastation like yours. Pinching his bottom lip between his teeth, he wipes a tear off your cheek with the side of his thumb. Just as gently, he tries his best to reassure you, “I’m sure they do.”

“You’re sure?” You repeat with a sniffle. Chan nods; he’s never been more so.

Successfully placated, you fall into thoughtful silence next to him. It doesn’t last long, though. Abruptly, you and your goldfish memory change course: “Can we get pork belly?”

Something in him wants to give you the world in this moment — the moon on a string, or whatever — but he shakes his head, unwilling to budge. But then your face falls, and he blurts out, “When you’re better, I’ll take you out for some.”

And he means it.

You peep, “Maybe next week.”

Chan laughs while he puts the key in the ignition and turns it. Maybe, he thinks, if you remember having this conversation. As the engine roars back to life, a new thought bubbles to the surface in his mind:

Maybe you will remember.

If you do — and if he’s brave enough then — maybe he’ll confess that he’s a liar. He might own up to the fact that, when you called to ask for his help, he didn’t already have the day off like he claimed to; or that the sick time he rushed to claim in the aftermath wasn’t attributable to his health at all.

Maybe he’ll admit that he doesn’t care how many people you asked before you turned to him because you ultimately did.

Just maybe.

As he backs out of his parking space, Chan casts another glance your way. It takes all the effort in the world for you to do it, but you smile at him with your whole damn face.

That settles it, then.

He nods once — firmly — and corrects you, “Definitely next week.”

Part two.

#bang chan #stray kids #bang chan x reader #bang chan imagines #bang chan scenarios #bang chan drabble #bang chan fluff #stray kids fluff #stray kids drabble #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #bc #skz #moni!#moots #jade writes #jade’s requests #jade’s drabbles #re: the one with chan and the promotion

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booksandpaperss · 1 year

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idk who exactly on this tag needs to hear this but it’s definitely a lot of you:

it is perfectly okay for a fanfic writer to have Mike and Will having physical and sexual thoughts about each other. They are teenagers and it completely normal for allosexual and even acespec teenagers to have sexual thoughts about the person or people they like. Yes adult fanfic writers can do this too it’s literally not weird as long as it’s written respectfully and accurately, and I’m actually so fucking tired of all this discourse that is so clearly rooted in people feeling uncomfortable with two boys being sexually attracted to each other, or even queer teenagers in general having sexual thoughts about each other.

I do think it’s weird to write explicit sex scenes between minors and especially in this case when these characters are represented by real people with real bodies who were minors while filming the vast majority of the show, but honestly anything suggestive between two 14/15 year olds and up that’s not explicit and/or sexualized is normal. And before any of you come at me saying I’m sexualizing minors, you can fuck right off bc I am 17 and I am sick and tired of teenagers and especially queer teenagers being shamed for sexual thoughts that are perfectly normal.

I understand if you personally are not comfortable reading and writing anything suggestive, that is fine bc I have a solution for you! Wanna guess what it is??

Just. Don’t. Read it.

If it’s content u don’t like, simply don’t interact!!! No one is forcing you to read or write anything that you don’t want to, so simply don’t. It’s that easy 😱

I will say though, that if reading an even vaguely suggestive thought in a byler fic makes you extremely uncomfortable, maybe you should take a moment to ask yourself why that is. Bc love between teenagers is not all fluffy and pure and innocent, and its honestly way weirder to have that ideal than to write teens having sexual thoughts, so maybe do some self reflection. If you’re ace and suggestive content in general makes u feel weird then that’s different, but if that’s not the case then if you’re allo and u still feel this way… idk just take a moment to check and see if you’re internalizing anything before complaining about it and spreading legitimately harmful discourse.

So, to recap:

-it’s normal for teenagers to have suggestive thoughts about each other and it’s normal to write it

-writing teenagers having sexual thoughts and making out with each other is not sexualizing, fellow queer ppl who think this literally why do u hate ur community so much 😑

-anything short of an explicit smut scene between minors is fine as long as it’s done accurately and respectfully

-it is still weird to write explicit smut in the byler fandom specifically (and any other ship between teens in ST) just bc you’d be describing the bodies of real people that were minors until very recently with actors who have stated that they’re not comfortable being sexualized like that, but first and foremost…

-…if something makes you uncomfortable or you don’t like it, simply don’t interact

-stop shaming queer teenagers for being physically attracted to each other, and stop idealizing teenage queer love as something completely pure and innocent, if you’re going to do that, please keep it to yourself

If after reading this post you 1). want to block me bc you think this whole post was sexualization or 2). plan to use this argument as an excuse to actually sexualize minors and write hardcore explicit smut between them, block me. Weird reformed purity culture is not welcome on my blog and neither are people who enjoy sexualizing minors. Fuck you ❤️

#this goes for any fandom pulling this shit but I’ve noticed it a lot on the byler tag #I’m STILL seeing it even after we’ve already closed this discussion multiple times #byler #byler tumblr #byler fandom #elli talks byler #elli talks stranger things

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pinkandpurple360 · 4 months

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Ok I don’t think Fizz and Ozzie will canonically adopt Oliver this art is cute though - here some reasons why

I understand people having cute AUs and headcanons. Nothing wrong with that. It’s cute as a fanfic but—Pushing hard for it to become canon though? Here are some reasons why that’s not so great

Fizz would become his young fans’ stepdad and expose him to uncomfortable sexual settings, is a lot like what Mammon did. It encourages a parasocial relationship as well. Asmodeus is a great guy, with great qualities, and closer to good than evil on the morality spectrum without a doubt, but, one thing he is not, is child-friendly. I think if canon, fizz and him should visit their “wacky orphanage”more often, and perform magic tricks for them. Now that would be extremely cute.

Asmodeus is, in no uncertain terms in charge of sex workers, and there’s zero separation between his work life, sex life, and home life. He created the succubi and incubi hellborn, and their money goes to the top, to him. The two have an unstable relationship of anxious attachment, secrecy, miscommunication, bickering, and codependency. Fizz is already in Asmodeus’ full time care and they are both with packed daily schedules. I don’t think a child would fit in there.

A rift I could see forming between Oz and him is fizz missing child friendly venues of the past and child friendly entertainment, possibly wanting to become a father. While Asmodeus is very sexual and adult. He wouldn’t be the sin of lust anymore if he became a dad to children in his home. It was nice enough of him to be the investor of a Wally wackfords orphanage. Fizz flinched from the sexual side of the fandom, but he lit up when he saw a kid fan. So I think his opportunity for independence is spending some time in other rings around younger people :) that would make the relationship a bit less codependent

He probably hasn’t interacted with children in years. And he started out as a kid friendly act but now he’s a sellout, clinging to the raunchy “sex sells” attitude. He’s lost himself and isn’t even a clown anymore. That’s not a headcanon or a theory, but literally the entire theme of this past episode.

Ain’t no way Fizz is bringing kids into that tower where people openly have sex in the hallways, there are sex toy vending machines, bdsm gear mannequins in Asmodeus’ office, naked paintings of fizz all over the place..unless some serious changes are made. Which yeah is kinda sad to think about.

#helluva boss critical

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wildpeachfarm · 1 month

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thank you so much for rec Brittany! She is an experienced adult who gets things but can also empathize with these creators bc she was in that position once. Her whole thing about being a “grown up” but she wasn’t “grown grown” like her parents had me nodding along, like this is someone who gets life, who isn’t chronically online. Humans gonna human and bubbles YESYES

This fandom is so young that watching a video like Brittany’s can bring an POV that they might not be privy to for another decade. And thts the point, it’s okay to make mistakes but if my listening to someone with more life experience (and boy does Brittany have life experience! She knows what she’s talking about with this) you can Not make some of these mistakes, be cognizant of what to do and how to stand up for yourself…shouldn’t that be what everyone wants? People here in their late teens early 20s need to listen to what she says. It is so so important especially about different bubbles and having to interact with people who have different bubbles. This is an adult skill you need to have and look at people and situations from multiple angles. Brittany does a very good job using this last stream as an educational tool as well and point out what went wrong and how to avoid certain things in the future. Like she said, taking and pointing out preventative measure is no victim blaming. Preventative measures should be taken (DD, not drinking underage, speaking up for yourself, removing yourself from uncomfortable situations, not drinking with people you don’t know, having friends you can trust if you are drunk). But acknowledging you can do everything right and bad things can still happen.

Acknowledging your friends faults but not blindly defending them…dude side eyeing some of theses streamers. You should know your friends characters. Some friends are messy and hard to deal with, it’s okay to acknowledge that!! Never protect a friend breaking the law etc, but like she said, “I’d turn my friend into the police but I would visit them in jail”. Help your friends get better but if it becomes too toxic, it’s okay to reevaluate that friendship.

It’s a long stream, long videos, but I think a young fandom like mcyt would lean a lot from watching.

I haven’t watched her other videos but I plan to. If people didn’t watch, her background is Iranian/Syrian, raised conservative, moved to Seattle did a 180 being in the gay, party, and bdsm scene identifying as lesbian but now identifies as pan sexual and is settled down with focus on YouTube as her career. This lady knows what she is talking about, not because she has lived it, but she has put in the work to heal and learn. She has seen therapists and done the introspective part. And has acknowledged nothing is black and white. She takes the time to see it from every perspective. Her thing with the color blue and everyone could be talking about the color blue but not the same shade of blue.

Sorry millennial here connecting with a fellow millennial.

yay glad to hear you're enjoying her stuff! and yeah you said it perfectly she's incredibly experienced in so many things and has so much advice to younger people and really provides good perspectives to people who might not have seen it that way before

#ask #anon #anti drummyache tag

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kanmom51 · 1 year

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I have things to say

I’ve been thinking for some time now to put this out, but now seems to be a most appropriate time if ever.

Blogging on Tumblr is not a profession, it’s a hobby.

Blogging is about wanting to share your passion with others and enjoying the little community that is built around that shared passion.

No money to be made here folks, well not by me nor any of the blogs I follow or am in touch with.

It’s time consuming and can most definitely be emotionally challenging.

I, for one, when I joined Tumblr late 2020, was unaware of the little community I would discover here. We gather here in this little space we have created, each to themselves, but also through interaction, together, and created this little bubble where we can share our thought and feelings and respect and support each other.

We don’t do this for money, nor fame, nor even appreciation.

But, and I can only speak for myself here, I am no spokesperson for anyone else, I do expect civility and respect and even kindness at the very least. Even when disagreeing.

Words are powerful things.

How you put those words to action is also so important.

You may not think you are disrespecting another or saying something hurtful. Perhaps, because you are saying it from your heart, or because you think that if you aren’t using derogative words, you think what you are saying isn’t hurting, disrespecting or even making another person feel uncomfortable or intimidated.

I don’t expect people to mince words. But I do expect them to be thoughtful of others as they would others be thoughtful of them.

Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself.

I most definitely understand that when you have passionate feelings about an issue you can get carried away. I most definitely have at times. But, I try my best. And if I am out of line and it’s brought to my attention, I will take responsibility for my actions. I am not infallible. I am human.

We are all human.

Owning up to your mistakes is key. Being able to admit you are in the wrong is key. Being willing to listen to other’s opinions is key. Sometimes, who knows, you might even be convinced. I was.

We cannot grow as human beings and be better people, if we are not open to listen and hear other opinions than our own.

I’ve said this in the past, I came from a more conservative background. My life beliefs now as an adult have changed immensely from what they were even in my 20s. And they are still changing, I can tell you that! But, if I wasn’t open to hearing others, weighing their words, without being dismissive, I would have never become the person that I am today.

I am sharing this with you, probably unnecessarily, because I feel that the world would be a much better place, this space of ours will be a much better place, if only we could be open to listening to others without dismissing them. This, I will say once again, being within the limits of respect and civility towards each other, and towards the people we are actually writing about.

You all know JK and JM are my faves, no secret there.

What is it that young intelligent man had to say about what people should have?

Respect

Understanding

Consideration

Three words that are really not that hard to follow.

And in order to be clear and not too vague:

Hating, calling names, disrespect as a whole (these are thing I’ve seen happen and will not accept: mocking one’s gender, looks, weight, colour of skin, religion, ethnicity etc.) and aggressive behavior/writing is unacceptable.

Criticism, calling out perceived bad or problematic behavior is, on the other hand, acceptable.

**Just a thought: If the person you want to call out is within this community, try reaching out to them via DM’s before you post it in public. At times this could be perceived as shaming them and the road from there is definitely downhill. DM’s are a great space to speak openly, privately, without being held to public judgement. Once again, it’s about putting yourself in their shoes.**

This is where the respectful discussion comes into place. Because there will be those who feel differently than yourself, and that’s fine, that’s ok. We need to know how to listen, think it over and sometimes accept the other’s opinion or sometimes not, but at the very least weigh it through and not dismiss them, nor their arguments off hand.

I am far from perfect and I know that I at times have sinned. If someone out there is reading these lines and thinking they were wronged by me, I do apologize. Could have been a bad day, could have been a bad mood, could have been too many annoying anons, could have been just me being an idiot. Like I said, I am far from perfect. Human, just like JK and JM and Tae and Hobi and Suga and RM and Jin are. HUMAN (psst… you see where I’m going there right? I’ll leave the math up to you this time).

Yah – it doesn’t mean you haters that show up in my blog once in a while. You deserved every word of it.

I know I’m babbling here, but I guess I need to get all of this off my chest.

So, where was I?

Ah, yes, our community.

Like I said, it’s built on our little individual personal spaces. This is supposed to be a place where we find a form of joy or contentment, because otherwise, why did we start it all?

And as such, we each have the right to curate our space, build it to our own liking, share what we feel the need to share.

If we want anons on and have the time and patience to answer the onslaught of asks that land in our inbox then great (I can tell you that having my anons on for less than 24 hours leaves me with hundreds of asks in my inbox, including some very nasty shit, as people love to hide behind the screen of anonymity). If we feel that it’s just too much for us and we would rather spend the little spare time that we have doing our blogging on creating content, then so be it.

If we decide to follow blogs we think might be interesting to us or unfollow blogs we feel bring us no pleasure or even cause us displeasure, so be it. I can tell you that I too unfollow blogs, I am sure each and every one of us does.

Personal space, personal decision.

Going to a blogger and calling them out for writing a post about a and not b, well dah, it’s their blog. You feel you need something to be written about b, go write it yourself in your own space.

Calling out a blogger for something they wrote, if you feel is problematic, not in their DMs, but publicly, is A-OK, as long as you are ready for a clap back as to why they or others feel that it is ok and are ready to have that discussion about why maybe, you yourself are wrong. Saying what you think or believe in is grand, but you need to accept the fact that others may think/feel differently than you and will tell you so. Be ready to have a respectful discussion.

Your blog, your beliefs. 100%.

Be respectful towards others beliefs too. Agree to disagree but don’t belittle them or call them names. I can tell you that nothing boils my blood (well almost nothing) more the loose use of the term delulu among ourselves. This is a term that is used widely to describe each and every one of us Jikook supporters, because we are considered out of our minds to believe that JM and JK may be queer and in a romantic relationship with each other. So turning this on another Jikook blogger is just not right in my opinion. It absolutely infuriates me as to how easily it’s thrown at others here, within our Jikook community.

I’m not sure that I’ve said everything I wanted to. You know, I’m not getting any younger, have been writing so much that by now I think I might have forgotten some points I wanted to make. But what can you do? C’est la vie.

I will end by saying that I, for one, consider myself as a JM/JK (Jikook is so much easier to type out) supporter. I believe these two, beautiful both in and out, young men are a long-term couple. I am not a shipper and do not hold shares in the shipping company. If one day they turn around and tell us “hey fuckers, fooled you, it was all fanservice and we ain’t no couple”, or if it turns out that they are no longer together (because let’s be real here for a second, that first scenario is never happening), then so be it. All I want is for them to be happy (not that I don’t want the others to be happy, but I have a very special place in my heart for those two. Maybe because JK reminds me of myself, maybe because they remind me of my daughters, idk the psychological reasons for it, it just is what it is).

I also love ALL of the other members. Be it not the same level as JM and JK (like I said, special place in heart), nor same way as each other. Each and every one of them is different, special in their own way and I love them for it, differently and specially.

All 7 are loved. None are beyond reproach.

Loving someone, in my books, is also being able to call them out when you think they are misbehaving or doing wrong.

I did/do that with my daughters and I will continue to do that here. And that includes you guys too.

And one more thing:

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for reading my content.

Thank you for reaching this far and reading this long winded post.

Thank you for all the love and appreciation you give me.

Love y’all.

#my blog #my space #Let's cherish this little community of ours

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jasonsmirrorball · 4 months

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tw discourse

When I and many other writers/blogs on this app say that we don't want minors on our blog, it is for a reason. For me, it's because I regularly interact with content that is made by adults for adults, and I think it should be common sense to respect that boundary.

There are so many things I could say about how when we produce/reblog these posts it's with a basic understanding of sex and consent and relationship dynamics, but also, I just do not want minors in this space period.

The things I post on here often go untagged and that is the reason why this blog is an 18+ blog, as opposed to allowing minors to follow and interact with this blog on the condition they block a specific 18+ tag. It makes me (and probably a lot of other creators) feel incredibly disgusted and uncomfortable to think that not only has a minor read my 18+ content – all of which explicitly is marked as not being for their eyes – but has gone on to consistently interact with my blog under the guise of being an adult.

Disregarding the fact that you shouldn't be reading it, what about our boundaries? I often see the argument of being mature enough to handle topics that are marked for adults, but this sort of behaviour is completely antithetical to that. I as a sane, rational adult do not ever want to be discussing the topics I do on this blog with someone else's child, no matter how close to their 18th birthday they might be. (If you are that close, you can wait. It isn't that serious. You will not die if you don’t get to read the smut, I promise.)

Completely bypassing someone else's boundaries and potentially putting them at risk because of your behaviour doesn't scream mature or adult to me. As an older sister, the idea of finding out that my younger siblings had interacted with people much older than them in this capacity is horrifying, and the idea of being a parent in that situation is so much worse. There is absolutely no reason for you as a minor to be coming into the inboxes of adult blogs and interacting with them in an adult capacity when it’s clear you don’t have adult decision making skills or reasoning.

I don't know. This makes me feel so disgusted. This is an 18+ blog for a reason.

#not putting this under a readmore bc i feel it’s relatively short but also i think it needs to be made very clear #i don't mean to sound dramatic but i genuinely feel violated. i feel so disgusting like i need to go take a shower.#this is the only thing i’m gonna say on this and then i’ll shut up but i feel like i have to put out my own statement #because this isn’t the first time a minor has interacted with my work but to go to this length is so. it’s disgusting #sweetaurore #tw discourse

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xxlemon-chanxx · 3 months

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do you find it embarrassing a bunch of adults are fighting over this proship/antiship war over Belos of characters? A character from a CHILDREN'S show.

That's like asking me if I think it's stupid for people to bash character simps for liking a fictional evil character/villain. OF COURSE I think it's dumb lmao. People should be able to enjoy a piece of media the way they want to enjoy it, regardless of their age.

Like, I don't like interacting with most comship content because I don't like how a lot of creators romanticize or “woobify” the relationships they're trying to portray (those relationships are abusive/toxic and I don't like content where they're not portrayed as such), but at the end of the day, I recognize that that content just wasn't made for me, so I just hit “not interested” and move on. I'll only really have a problem with it if they do a poor job of keeping that sort of content out of reach of kids—like, say, not putting appropriate warnings on artwork and stories depicting that sort of thing, talking about those topics with minors (because that could accidentally give them the wrong idea about what relationships SHOULD be normalized irl), etc.

But at the same time, I do understand being made uncomfortable by that content to the point of choosing to block the person creating it, even if they don’t hate the person they're blocking. People’s internet experience is curated by them. If they don't want to see someone talking about their favorite media in a way that makes them upset, they have every right to block them to make sure that content doesn't show up on their feed.

I only think it turns into a problem when those people go into the spaces of those who make the content they don't like and begin harassing them for said content, or begin making their own content that's basically like “any depictions of x, y, z are bad, and anyone who makes content like that is a bad person.”

THAT’S when it turns stupid.

If you're gonna hate somebody, at least have a good reason for it instead of “the way they choose to like fiction gives me the yucks.”

Like, hate someone for creeping on kids, or for being racist, or supporting genocide, or just being an overall sack of shit, now THOSE are valid reasons for hating someone.

#toh #toh fandom sucks sometimes #toh fandom #toh fandom critical #anti proship #proship #Both sides should see this

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my-castles-crumbling · 2 months

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this is kind of a weird ask so… sorry Cas.

There’s a lot of fics in the maraduers fandom i’d like to read that i can’t. most specifically is religious fics. I have a complicated relationship with religion and I have enough (absolutely stupid) guilt about reading detailed queer relationship (I am queer myself btw), not even including any fics where there’s explicit content related to religion.

i’m not religious anymore but i was raised quite strongly religious for a long time, and even though it’s stupid to feel guilt over something like queer relationships in church, it still affects me to the level that I cannot read those fics at all.

And this isn’t even including the explicit fics that I hear are amazing. But I just can’t read them. And it’s very annoying. I know I could just accept that reading them is difficult for me and move on, but it feels like my past is holding me back.

i don’t even know what i’m asking tbh, but you’re always so lovely with advice, so i guess, got any advice for me? Thanks ❤️

Hi!

I definitely understand what you're saying and I don't think it's stupid at all! I think, unfortunately, a lot of people are conditioned to feel guilty about aspects of fanfiction- the religious parts, queerness, explicitness, not to mention aspects of kink or other more frowned-upon things. I think that's one of the reasons WHY fanfiction is so popular. People are working through their guilt and realizing the normalcy of their feelings.

I have three major pieces of advice:

When I (or others) feel guilty or 'abnormal' in my feelings, I think one of the best ways to help is to realize how normal it is! And you've come to the right place. Try building a community here of people who enjoy reading similar things. Take in the fact that thousands of people like the same things. Remind yourself that this is okay and normal. In fact, just look at the number of hits on a fic! Literal millions of people have read some of them! You are so normal, and not alone.

Do some research about the things you feel bad about. 7.1% of people in the US identify as queer. 70% of those identifying as men and 40% of those identifying as women admit to interacting with sexual content on the internet (not to mention those who don't). One-third of US adults identify as having religious trauma. From these numbers, you are definitely normal, and you have no reason to feel guilty for any of your feelings!

As far as religion, continue to talk about it. Find people who have similar experiences. Do research on the origins of the phrases in the bible that make people feel so guilty, because they actually can be taken in many different ways. Address the feelings, and again, realize that this is so normal.

I hope this helps! Remember that you should never interact with anything you're uncomfortable with- it's absolutely okay to have boundaries. But it's also okay and natural to want to/not want to read these things online.

<3 <3 <3

#ask #asks #ask cas

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cassidysparacosm · 6 months

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(SERIOUS) TW: Stalking, Abuse

My blog is being stalked.

I wish i didn’t have to make this post. The way it should’ve gone, everything should have been moved on now with those who needed to be blocked, blocked. But due to the fact i’m now once a week being reminded of how i’m being stalked, i can’t ignore this situation any longer.

TLDR: @/Disableddeinosaur aka Beanie starting drama within 2 servers and threatening to harass users if they disagreed with their opinions. 1 year after banning them they continue to remind me that they’re stalking me.

Further explained context below.

Context: In late 2021 i joined an amphibia discord server. The people there were nice, and i enjoyed being there. The moderator, Beanie, known as Mossy at the time, was also part of this group. They seemed suprised when i mentioned i was born the year pokemon diamond and pearl came out, but i didn’t think much of it at the time.

It is important to know that Beanie often hid behind a mask of promoting good ideals such as exposing racism and ableism in fandom circles.

I was also in another discord server with many of my now tumblr mutuals, the syrup arc server. This was a roleplay server where we’d make tupperbots for amphibia characters from AUs we’d made and have fun with them. Back to beanie’s server, a channel had been made where we talked about amphibia blogs on tumblr that had… well, questionable art. This ranged from full on implied NSFW to just aus that beanie didn’t like, such as the Moth mAnne au by Missakat. They claimed giving Anne Boonchuy and Marcy Wu from the amphibia series blue and green eyes respectively was racist, and blacklisted artists who did. I internally disagreed with this, but never expressed it. Why? Because Beanie was older than me. I’m not exactly sure how old specifically, but they had a job that looked like it required some experience and their suprise at my age indicated that they were an adult at least. I disgreed with them wanting to call out creators for the wrong eye colors, but i agreed that creators who are actively racist or ableist definitely deserve to be exposed.

Exposing creators we didn’t like was encouraged in Beanie’s server, so here we come to the first event. I found an amphibia artist who drew what is basically vore, but would deny if asked and refuse to tag for people who were uncomfortable. Beanie expressed to me that they already knew of this person, as they’d had a negative interaction in the past so both were aware of each other. I was encouraged to join the nsfw artist’s server, to act as a spy and screenshot and report back any uncomfortable behaviour they made. It’s worth noting i did make the choice to join myself, but why Beanie didn’t try send an alternate account or a different actual adult from their server is unknown.

I soon left that server after getting the screenshots they wanted. And even sooner after, the toll of the almost ever-present negative atmosphere of beanie’s server was too much and my parents intervened and got me to leave.

While most of the time when a friend of yours move on from a server the right thing to do is to respect their wishes and leave them alone, this is not what beanie did, and still refuses to do a year later. Instead they followed me to 2 different amphibia servers, one where they made a tupperbot of themself and guilt-tripped themself publicly “Muffin (the name i went under at the time) only left because you’re a terrible person! You’re a horrible awful person” etc to themself.

Friends of mine on tumblr (that i’ll refer to as ST and SL incase they don’t want to get involved) tried to comfort them, as they were new to the situation and Beanie and just wanted peace on the server.

Meanwhile on the syrup arc server, Beanie had began to regularly make a point to get into dificult situations with 4/5 of the server mods (the fifth being me, who never disagreed with them so i stayed on their good side though mostly because i was afraid of what they might do if i spoke out). They would make rude and unneeded comments towards others opinions such as their favourite pokemon or their art style, and when confronted would make a gigantic deal out of it or privately message me and essentially tell on them to me.

I admit, for at least 4 months i did nothing. The mod chat was chaos because everyone else was saying the things beanie had done, and the fact i could’ve made the final decision and didn’t was driving a wedge between our friendship. Individually the mods tried to speak kindly to beanie, help them understand why people were becoming wary of them or just not talking to them. The most prominent time being when my friend i’ll refer to as S started a conversation in an attempt to explain to them kindly, but Beanie refused to listen to any of their messages, calling them a slut, and repeatedly implied that S was ableist for disagreeing that their behaviour was an issue. The mod of the server, C, who has expressed before that he himself is neurodivergent, eventually stepped in and tried to explain to Beanie again but their imput went completely ignored despite the conversation stopping.

This behaviour in both servers continued to be an issue for at least another month or two, and both servers had gone from active with at least 20 people in each to basically dead beyond Beanie and only like 4 people online at a time.

Finally one day i was sitting down with a close family member of mine who works in security, and he advised me to block Beanie. I was very tired at the time but i do remember what i did.

I went to the mod chat, told the other mods i was sorry for ignoring their concerns for so long, and banned beanie myself. I also advised the second server’s creator aswell who agreed with my choice once I’d explained the context and banned them too.

You’d think that’d have been the end of it, but it wasn’t. For a solid week afterwards it was a constant back and forth with Beanie and some of the server members who’d personally experienced their behaviour. Except for the fact Beanie would entirely ignore whatever the other person was saying and then call them racist of ableist (which, none of us never even knew their race because they never said it??)

Eventually the two servers decided it would help best for us to let it go, and so we stopped talking to them. I blocked them, and as far as i’m aware of all of the others did too. Once again, you’d think this would be the end of it but unfortunately it is not.

It took 2 months for me to feel safe online after that. And then i got a ask in my ask box in this blog. I don’t exactly remember the wording, but i sent it to a groupchat so i could probably find it if i need to compile a evidence document against them. Essentially it was mocking my pinned post, saying it was ironic of me to say no bullying when i ‘bullied’ them.

After that there was nothing, and i actually began to go to a therapist for reasons i’d like to remain private relating to my paranoia. I admit it was partly my fault for not moving to action quicker, though. I shouldve blocked them long, long before that day and i am so, so sorry to the members of the syrup arc server aswell as the animation server for not acting sooner.

Thankfully they’ve left them alone it seems, but last week i recieved a notification, a personal reminder from Beanie that they were not over their ‘mistreatment’. Despite being blocked on my main account, they somehow have managed to bypass that ability for this blog (this is my sideblog) and now are reminding me once a week through a notification that they’re still here.

That they’re still a stalking, self-righteous bully who has nothing better to do than entrust their mental health to a group of 14-19 year olds on the internet and then say they’re horrible people for not being able to handle them anymore. Even if you weren’t part of either of the servers, please, block them. This situation should’ve been done and over a year ago, and blocking and reporting them seems to be the only way to get them to at least quit harassing us.

This is a completely serious post, and i am begging anyone who reads this. Please. Block them. Do not interact with them, just block them.

I have sent them a ask condeming their choice to continue this fight, which i have no doubt they’ll respond to and ignore everything i said.

Ask i sent below: [

]

Mentioning my mutuals for more engagement

@skythealmighty @sluggintub @aces-archon-quest @velvelic @luc1d-dr34m5 @calebthepianist @strawberry-seal77 @breadthefurry @technicolor-abstraction @rainblescake

#serious post #tw stalking #tw verbal abuse #Amphibia #cass speaks #Object shows #Reblog to spread around please.

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ryuichirou · 2 months

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Replies

One serious one and a bunch of kind of silly shorter ones.

Anonymous asked:

Hi! I hope you don't mind me asking this but I had a question about fandom stuff since this is my first time in an active fandom. Almost every time there's fanworks, mostly fanart, of the TWST first and seconds years in sexual positions/sexualized, there's a lot of people dramatically freaking out because they're "minors/16/17!" and "you're not allowed to do that/it's illegal so stop that!" (Sometimes in all caps too). Are these people common in fandoms with younger casts? Sorry for sounding anxious, I just keep running into people like this and anti-shippers and they really bring my mood down...

Hi Anon! Sure, I don’t mind talking about fandom stuff.

I think it’s not a matter of titles having younger casts, but a matter of fandoms having younger people in them. There are some shows that aren’t very popular/have fandoms that mostly consist of people that are older than 25, and you’d see less of this type of attitude there. Like, drastically less. I don’t think there are a lot of people complaining about characters of Prince of Tennis being 14-16 year olds, for example.

But if a show is popular with teens or younger people in general, chances are, there are going to be quite a number of antis. For example, SK8 got a big chunk of its popularity on tiktok and boy is it obvious lol

I want to stress that this doesn’t mean that all the anti-shippers are young: this absolutely isn’t the case, and unfortunately a lot of pretty much adult people participate in harassment, write call-outs and do this type of crap in general. Also obviously, not every teenager is an anti (not that it matters to us of course, all of our blogs are 18+ so the majority of teens shouldn’t even be here).

So yeah. I think of it as a subculture, albeit a very aggressive one. There are people who are legitimately uncomfortable with this type of content, but I’m pretty sure the majority of antis just love using their non-existent high moral ground to harass and try to control people and their art. They either don’t understand the magnitude of their actions or don’t care if they hurt real people over fictional minors.

I am very sorry that you stumble upon this type of people and that they make you feel bad. I always say this, but: block everyone. Even if a person is just mildly uncomfortable to you or you don’t like their vibes, block them just so you see less of this type of stuff.

Your art and any art that you enjoy doesn’t hurt anyone as long as people are being responsible about posting and interacting with it. So absolutely don’t feel like you’re doing something wrong just because someone doesn’t understand how fiction works. I hope this type of crap disappears as soon as fandoms become less popular, like they’ve been before things got out of hand. Some people should’ve never been here in the first place – sorry for gate-keeping, but they don’t get it and don’t care about getting it or at least being respectful to others, so why should we be better people.

Anonymous asked:

Idia: Yay, crotch view!

(related to our Lilidia drawing from yesterday hehe)

Lucky boy! Got to see Heavens right before his demise…

Anonymous asked:

What do you think about Neige x Epel?

Replied! Also talked about them a bit in this reply + some other replies that I can’t find…

Anonymous asked:

thoughts on liliaxepel?

Definitely replied before, but I can’t find that reply, so: they’re cute, gotta love two short feisty cuties together; we really liked that one vignette in which Lilia shows Epel that you don’t have to be tall or big to be scary and strong. It teases a very interesting potential dynamic both in a shippy and in a platonic sense: Epel has a lot to learn from Lilia, and it would be fun if they interacted more often.

It isn’t a ship that we’re massively passionate about, but they’re fun together! Could be very hot.

#replies

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ceilidho · 8 months

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Feel free to ignore this if it's a weird question; just respect your opinion! So I'm younger than many of the writers I follow (19), and while I completely understand and agree with mdni, I wondered if it still makes you uncomfortable to interact with someone younger around NSFW content? I avoid it because I never want to make people uncomfortable, but I want to be able to interact and express appreciation and all that.

It’s a super nuanced question tbh. I’m not going to act like I wasn’t reading fics from a SUPER young age (I found ff.net when I was 13 years old) and I’m well aware that there are probably younger readers reading my stuff as well. But as an adult, I definitely don’t like interacting with younger people because especially with the kind of stuff I create, it doesn’t feel appropriate. And also! I can’t relate to them! I enjoy interacting with people around my age because we actually have commonalities and shared lived experiences.

I think for younger writers/readers, that’s the best approach. It’s better for minors and young adults (18-22ish, not a hard limit) to interact with each other and grow together; im not going to shame anyone for reading my writing because that would be so hypocritical of me and I personally feel like I turned out to be like, an okay person despite finding fanfiction early in my life, but that’s it. Like my ao3 is open to the public, I can’t control every single person who visits it, but I at least do my best to monitor who I’m interacting with on a 1-to-1 basis if that makes sense.

That’s why btw for anyone that’s here reading my stuff, I say this every once in a while but a friendly reminder that my writing is not a mirror for reality. Fiction and reality are two entirely distinct things. Please don’t look to my writing to teach you about how relationships should work or what healthy relationships look resemble. This kinda goes for everyone but just a little reminder.

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babyotterboy · 1 month

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let’s talk about DNI lists, Hard Limits, and Safety! (kink conversations series part?? three?? i think:

!!!DNI Lists and Why They’re Important!!!

nsft/general online kink communities have the AWESOME ability to put out their boundaries without interacting with people that make them uncomfortable -at all-.

they make kink participants, especially those of us with specific hard limits due to trauma, feel safe. While we do understand that we cannot control who happens upon our spaces apart from putting adult censoring on to keep it as obviously nsft/minors as possible - we cannot safely and comfortably exist in our own space without the ability to place these boundaries and at least majority wise - have them respected.

IMPORTANT NOTES: if you come across people that you personally believe "are excessive" with their DNI list length, breathe.

in the same way i do not appreciate vanilla sex becoming "if i can convince them i deserve a chance, ill try" - it is EXPONENTIALLY more harmful to do this in kink scenarios. (abuse/disrespect in any sexual context is harmful, but kink/fetish participation .NEEDS. these semi-awkward unsexy conversations. they are important and REQUIRED). And on that note, these conversations SAVE TIME, ENERGY, and TAKE MOST UNNECESSARILY STRESSFUL THINGS OUT OF YOUR SCENES!!

if you are talking to a potential partner and feel it isn’t clicking, these are the conversations to say that. stop the potential scene, and discuss why you aren’t a good fit. leave it on a good note, i know it’s awkward and can be frustrating. but your partner is as much a person worthy of comfort and safety as you are.

you do not have to force it. you don’t have to pretend. it is OKAY to not be a fit for each other. it does not mean anyone did anything wrong, THATS WHY THE CONVERSATION IS IMPORTANT. figure these things out BEFORE they become uncomfortable.

(THIS GOES FOR BOTH DOM AND SUB)

!!!!!HARD LIMITS!!!!!!

i have seen a few things that are worrying. Hard Limits and Soft Limits are DIFFERENT.

Do not list a Soft Limit as a hard limit to be confused if it is NEVER brought up. that is the point. And vice versa, please work on soft limits (especially ones you are slowly working to understand yourself) SAFELY. If it becomes a Hard Limit, even during a scene, that should be communicated and NEVER brought up again outside of the “debrief and discuss” part of aftercare. If you partner expresses something is a Hard Limit, is it BIG NO. not “eh nah i don’t think i like this”.

pushing someone’s hard limits IS THE SAME as coercing consent for any other act.

coercion is not consent.

!!!!SAFETY RECAP!!!!!!

Hard Limit: Under no circumstance is consented to. (this includes sexually intended conversation. if you want to play in a scene someone’s Hard Limit - FIND A DIFFERENT PARTNER).

Soft Limit: used to describe either a limit that is situational/can potentially become a hard limit/something the person is curious about - but still unsure/wary of. Bring up WHAT turns that soft limit into a hard limit. talk about how to keep the scene comfortable, how to keep your partner secure in that instance. Do not willy nilly throw around soft limits. Learn your partners boundaries.

DNI List: very important information to respect ANYONE in kink spaces, but especially potential partners. Do not go anon to get past someone’s sexuality, age limits, or kink hard/soft limits. this is again, the same as pushing yourself on someone that has CLEARLY stated they do not consent to that.

ahhhnokay part three(i think) over 🐾💗 i’ll probably write more on these though, passionate about kink safety in this house!!!🐾💗

#kink conversations series #kink discussion #hard limits #soft limits #DNI list #otter talks #i can’t keep the autism voice out of my writing #pretend this sounds like a human wrote it okay? :’)

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davekat-sucks · 3 months

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what is up with fandoms that aren’t for kids (hazbin hotel, homestuck, danganronpa etc.) telling people to off themselves over shipping? like fandoms like that are for teens and adults, i honestly wanna hope it’s not the adults in the fandom telling people to off themselves because you think an adult would know better right? i mean a teen does too but i think it depends on how old the teen is and how develop your brain is

like those fandoms aren’t for kids, they’re for teens and adults so i don’t know why you want to protect children from fandoms that are for 13-18+, if a child does interact with that kinda fandom tell them to get out of it and that they aren’t allowed in that said fandom into they are at the age range

like i do agree that kids should be protected but it is not the creator’s fault if a child interacts with their fandom, it’s the parents fault for not watching over their kid, like if you’re gonna give a kid as young as 10 a phone you need to moderato everything they are doing if they are that young jnto you can trust they aren't gonna do amything bad ot illegal

Sadly, we live in a generation where babies got iPads so the parents don't have to give too much attention to them. That's why shit like Elsagate and weird YouTube Kids videos continue to pump out to this day. I also say that when kids start growing older, we all had been through the phase of thinking we hot shit and can handle anything mature that we would do anything to prove ourselves. Including lying about our age. Yes, it's not uncommon to lie online. Anonymity and all that. But most teens lie to try and access certain content that's locked behind for 16-18+ users. Maybe some of us are curious what the medium is like. Others who are aware of it, just want to see it cause they like it. Whatever the reason, kids will find a way to check it out, even if they know they are not old enough to view it. We all had done this. I even admit I was young to watch shit like Elfen Lied. But I think the difference is back then, at least said kids and teens tried their best to HIDE the fact they were minors. But now, they don't even try to hide it. The kids demand they be let in and everyone else must accommodate for them if they start to feel uncomfortable. It's like person bitching at God for making it rain so hard even when someone offered them an umbrella to help cover themselves. Doesn't help said parents barely get the blame for neglecting their child in this day of age. We used to say it's up to the parents to make sure the kids don't go on sketchy websites or leak personal information. But now, it's the creator's fault for posting it, not knowing that out of a million people in the world. one kid took it too far. The same shit happened when it came to kids buying and playing violent video games and they blame said video game company for it. Never the adult themselves for not keeping an eye on their child.

#fandom #fandoms

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lipglossanon · 2 days

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you totally don’t have to respond to this i know you don’t like posting about fandom discourse but i have a rant- a lot of “vanilla” or palatably kinky readers (kinks that don’t outwardly make someone who isn’t hardcore kinky uncomfortable) have the mindset of “i have an understanding of this character and want content that fits this idea of the character i have in my head and i can’t comprehend why people would characterize a fictional character in such a taboo/dark way or a way that’s outside of my realm of acceptable” so they complain in this echo chamber of people who validate what they’re feeling about not wanting dark content and everyone is entitled to an opinion but all it takes is one interaction to start a witch hunt for a specific creator and [un]intentionally create a ton of hate towards accounts and people who are just doing their thing in their corner of the internet and the “vanilla” or palatably kinky readers who choose to attack those creators of darker stuff get so up their own asses about these works getting traction and pushed when they’re the reason for all the engagement because algorithms do not differentiate positive or negative engagement that’s why blocking tags and blocking accounts and not engaging is recommended instead of hate anons and comments and mass reporting, not just that but the inconsideration of the people who don’t consume dark content who vent about it being out there and not putting warnings for the content they’re talking about or even posting screenshots with no warning is so disgusting, i’ve never read a darker work of anything and not been met with tags or warnings. for people to say this content is ooc, i can accept and have agreed with some posts about a characters backstory being ignored or changed to support dark content but it gets bad when people demonize others for taking a darker route with how they view a character because it’s usually this character who has a history of experiencing some type of abuse or some large trauma that took place at a point in their life which is why they chose to do what they do or it’s why they are the way they are but it’s rarely delved into how they coped or how they handled the situation leaving it up to consumers interpretation so it’s immersive for everyone and that’s where these issues arise in the blending of people in a fandom space when “vanilla” or palatably kinky people look at a character with a trauma and see people say they want that character to do something darker to them and it makes them uncomfortable because they can’t comprehend someone having that response to any trauma because they assume everyone responds the same way they do so they seek out emotional validation to feel seen for being made uncomfortable by something they interacted with instead of seeking to make themselves comfortable by blocking and ignoring these works, they seek out this validation even demonization of things outside of their realm of perception based off what they’ve experienced to make themselves feel like they’re right instead of aiming to make themselves comfortable and lastly, people saying dark content should move to ao3 solely is blatantly ignoring tumblr pre the adult content ban because most fic writers started on tumblr and got their following on tumblr and it’s the app/site that’s changed for the worse to appease this ultra purity culture sect of their site to get more ad revenue and its fucked the larger community of people who’ve been here since before the ban because we don’t really have the access to grow our platform or share our work anywhere else and still have the amount of community engagement we can get on tumblr which is why most authors share fics- to engage and be a part of a fandom for a thing they enjoy and in my opinion ao3 is very impersonal in the interactions you can have with people and i think that’s why some people want dark content creators in fandom spaces over there because they can feel distant from a creator on ao3 in a way they can’t on tumblr if that makes sense

- 💀

(i got got by the text allotment it was like 1k words lmao sorry for any typos <3)

💀 anon 😮 i am shook you got by the text allotment 🤭

But exactly; I was around tumblr pre purity clean out 🙄 but I left until 2013 and then left again til 2022. It’s a different world now. Same thing happened with livejournal back in the day too; which they never recovered and eventually fell to the wayside.

It’s really dumbfounding to me; I just don’t know why polite fandom culture has took a nosedive. If you don’t like, don’t interact.

It’s like they’re never interacted with a irl human being or been presented with working with a coworker who you might dislike every single thing about them but you can’t let that affect your job.

Idk at this point people are more online than ever before it’ll probably get worse before it gets better to the detriment of those with cognitive thinking skills.

#ask box #💀 anon #lipglossanon #lipglossanswers

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