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adams-angels · 4 months

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Adam sfw/nsfw hcs? I love your work! Thanks!!

💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖

SFW

I'm gonna start off strong by saying socks and sandals. Thinks it's great.

Will stop listening when he's losing an argument. Stutters and minces up his words if he gets flustered or too aggravated.

Lute is his best friend

Says he has tons on friend but in reality lute is his only friend

This man thinks he's higher up in the food chain than he actually is. Which then leads to weak apologies from him

Doesn't go anywhere without his mask. Really big believer in that he doesn't like showing his face because both his wife's left him

Still absolutely bitter about that btw

Has an unhealthy coping mechanism when it comes to jealously.

For example, your an angel and some newbie starts talking with you and there's nothing really in it but he opens a portal to hell when your not looking and literally kicks the guy through it before closing the portal.

Or if your a sinner and you're telling him about someone who helped you the other day he will HUNT THEM DOWN next extermination day... If he can wait that long.

Likes getting you lil gifts, key chains, magnets, pins. He'll see a little thing and think that's perfect and wont hesitate buying it for you.

He won't give it to you though. He'll leave it somewhere obvious in his apartment for you to notice and go "oh, that's cute." For him to shrug and say "it's okay. You want it?" It took a while before you actually started accepting gifts this way

In public he will get you the biggest things. Giant teddy bear. New TV. A unicorn. But that's just to show everyone that he spoils you. That no one can treat you as well as him.

Loves lazy days

Also loves it when you preen his wings

Was the kinda guy that didn't have any kind of skin care until he met you and now you're both chilling with facemasks on.

Has panic attacks when he thinks you're going to leave him

When he's not wearing his mask he will not smile. It's really difficult to get him to smile or laugh when he's not wearing a mask.

But he's got the most beautiful smile

You managed you get him to laugh because you fell. What? He's still an asshole.

You couldn't be mad at him. He sounded so happy.

Has dumb pet names for everyone he's close to. Some are cute. Some are absolutely vulger. "Sweetness." "Babe." "Cutie" "cockwarmer." "Adam's dumpster." "Precious."

He's insecure AF baby

Loves hearing you say you love him

Will only tell you he loves you in private.

Would take a very special case for him to say it in public

If you get in a serious argument with him he'll run away in anger. He'll then come back after an hour or so begging you not to leave.

Sorry I really love pathetic Adam. fight me.

Smut below the cut! Minors dni

NSFW

Ik everyone says it's great at sex but I don't think he would be 🤷🏻‍♀️ not at the beginning anyway

I think he's a selfish lover and it takes someone he really cares about to make any changes

Would absolutely finish inside you then fall asleep soz babes

His cock is good tho. Likes it's a biggen. Length and width.

It was probably made to fit perfectly so

At least that's what he says

He won't believe it if you dont orgasm the first time you have sex with him. Everyone else has! Why wouldn't you?!

Well, Adam, they lied, sweetie.

Loves getting his cock sucked.

Asks for it constantly

If he gets in an argument with you he'll probably say "I'm sorry, it's just been so long since I got head."

He loves eating you out. Watching you squirm while his tongue is inside you really gets him going.

Likes you have you sat on his face so he can hold you down

He cried the first time he had sex with you after realising he loves you

Will beg to be loved when he's close to finishing. "Tell me you love me!"

Will get embarrassed after the fact

He was adamant he didn't like you. That you were just hot. But one day found himself jerking to the thought of you and that post nut clarity hit like a freight train.

Loves being praised ofc

Breeding kink. I mean come on. He was made to populate the earth. It was literally his job.

Loves rough sex, being in charge.

Will get possessive during sex

If he's having a bad day he'll be a lot more desperate and a hell of a lot more possessive

"mine" is his favourite word.

～⁠♡✧⁠｡ I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! ｡✧⁠♡～⁠

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel adam x reader #hazbin hotel smut #adam x reader #hazbin hotel adam smut

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pacifymebby · 1 year

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may I please request ‘the peaky blinders taking care of you when you’re sick’? <33

woke up sick today and wish one of them would take care of me :,)

thanks in advance <3

As someone who is always sick (and totally pathetic about it too) i love this request. But i dont love that you're sick!! That sucks so hard. I hope you're feeling better soon and i hope this cheers you up a little bit.

Tommy

🌿 Is the kind of person who, when he's sick, or when his brothers are sick, he doesn't take it seriously at all, he powers through and expects others to power on through too. After all the men of this country have been through much worse than a sore head and a few sniffles

🌿 When it comes to you however everything is different. He worries too much, he worries much more than is necessary considering you've only really got a cold.

🌿 When you first start complaining that you're not feeling too good he frowns, checks your temperature with the back of his hand and tries not to show you how worried he is.

🌿 "Alright love why don't you stop with that and rest a little while eh? I'll get a bath drawn for you and you can stop worrying about all this..." he'll say it like its a suggestion but really its an instruction. He won't let you lift a finger whilst you're not well.

🌿 He will change his plans so that he can stay home - he will not let you know he's done this! - and then he'll hover around you for the rest of the day, trying to be subtle about his concern.

🌿 Its almost like he's shy about caring for you in this way, he knows you only have a cold but he can't help how much he worries about you, and besides, youre so precious to him, youre like this source of light in his life, one of the only truly good people he knows in the world and the idea that you could be suffering in anyway distresses him

🌿 He'll send for the doctor the moment you start to show signs of a fever. He'll have you on bed rest and he'll give the staff strict instructions not to let you get up for anything.

🌿 He'll spoil you, making sure that your favourite meals are prepared, he'll have them brought to your bed, even if you say you're well enough to eat in the dining room he won't allow it.

🌿 Roaring fires burning at all times. He wants to make sure you're cosy and comfy.

🌿 When you get worse and you really do start to feel terrible, and terribly sorry for yourself as a result, he will sit with you in your bed and hold you for as long as you want. He'll even sing you to sleep if you ask him nicely.

🌿 Will still give you kisses even when you tell him not to. "You'll get sick!" "Don't worry about me angel I'll be fine..." "Little cold isn't gonna stop me kissing my girl, come here..."

🌿 So many forehead/temple kisses.

🌿 Finds it comforting when you fall asleep in his arms because it means he can keep you nice and close where he's able to sense even the slightest change in you. He'll lie back with you asleep in hid arms, your head resting on his chest, and he'll stroke his fingers through your hair, listening to you breathing. Its peaceful and he feels almost relaxed.

🌿 Anything you need he will make sure you get it, he'll dote on you. He might start to feel sick himself if he catches it from you but he will ignore it and he certainly won't let you know. He'll keep it to himself and won't let it get in the way of caring for you.

🌿When you're better and he's still sick he'll get so grumpy and irritable if you try to care for him the way he did you. "Its patronising love, i hate sympathy!"

Arthur

🍂 He'll tease you about it at first, he won't take you seriously. "Women are so dramatic about these things..." at first you'll laugh along, tease him for being a sexist but then

🍂 When you actually do start to think maybe you really are sick, his dismissals won't be so amusing and you'll not laugh at his jokes anymore. Instead you'll pout and get this wounded look in your eyes and he'll realise he's said the wrong thing...

🍂 "What now? Youre not really feelin sick now are you?" "Why would you care I'm probably just being dramatic..." "Oh darlin come on now dont be like that eh, you know i was only jokin with you... Come on come here..."

🍂 Suddenly he's all sympathy and cuddles, opening his arms out for you, hugging you and placing a big kiss on your forehead. He'd hold the back of your head in his palm and check your temperature by placing his cheek to your cheek. When he realises youre burning up he'd change his attitude aboit your sickness completely.

🍂 He'd be really reassuring, telling you he's going to send for a doctor, that he'll look after you, get you all the medicine you need to have you on the mend again.

🍂 "You just let your Arthur take care of you sweetheart, have you feelin right as rain alright?"

🍂 Firm believer in hot toddies. The first thing he'll do is get you wrapped up in blankets by the fire and make you a hot toddy to drink. He'll tell you its better than any medicine and in many ways he's right.

🍂 His family and the peakys will take the piss out of him no end because when you're sick he'll drop everything to fuss over you. He's gotten himself into trouble with Tommy before phoning him to tell him he can't come with him to a meeting because "well y/n's ill tommy, need to look after her..." "Theres maids who can look after her Arthur I need you..." "No, no that won't do, won't leave my y/n to be looked after by maids when she's sick, I need to be here Tom... You'd be the same..."

🍂 He will let the maids care for you, to an extent... He just won't leave you alone, at all, it would be annoying if it wasn't so endearing.

🍂 Asking you how you're feeling every ten minutes.

🍂 Falling asleep with you in his arms even though he's trying to stay up to keep an eye on you.

🍂 When he inevitably catches the cold from you he is 10x more dramatic than you ever were and though you do say "I told you so" once or twice, you don't have the heart to tease him too much because it is a rotten cold and he caught it because he was so devoted to taking care of you.

🍂 When you're better you tell everyone its all thanks to "nurse arthur" which really winds him up and gets you into no end of trouble.

Alfie

🐻 You always bring out Alfie's gentle and caring side but when you're ill he's even more tender and nurturing with you than usual.

🐻 He can sense that you're coming down with something before you do and so he quietly prepares for it. You've been stressed out a lot lately, you've worn yourself out... When he catches you sniffling he knows what you're in for.

🐻 He'll be being extra careful with you before you've even started to feel rough, putting his arm around you when you're out walking instead of just holding your hand. Hovering round you more than usual. He'll have you sit in his lap instead of in your own chair and he'll want to just hold you and encourage you to relax and rest.

🐻 So by the time you get sick he's already half way to making you feel better. "It's a like you saw this coming, you're always one step ahead i don't understand..." "I just know you very well don't I zieskiet, thats all, just know you inside and out..."

🐻 He'd draw a hot steamy bath with lavander to relax you. When you pout and tell him you don't want to be left on your own he'll give in and join you... Well, he won't take much convincing at all actually. He'll have you lie back against his chest in the hot water and he'll massage your shoulders, yoir back and your thighs until you're lulled and peaceful.

🐻 He'll let his hands wander too, a sensual massage to distract you from how rotten you're feeling...

🐻 He'll bundle you up in blankets and tuck you into bed. He'll leave Cyril to keep at eye on you and give you cuddles whilst he goes to prepare a hearty dinner for you. You'll be able to smell bread baking in the kitchen and thats how you know he's really spoiling you.

🐻 He will want to call for a doctor if you dont start to feel better the next day, you'll tell him not to fuss but he'll dismiss your protests, "Now now zieskiet, remember, I'm the oldest yeah, so i know best... You should remember that eh..." "But Alf..." "Ah-ah y/n, poppet, am I or am I not much much older than you?" He'll give you that stern, raised eyebrow look which tells you not to try and argue with him anymore. And you know that really he's right so you sigh, "yes Alfie..." "Right, that's right, thank you y/n, now... Don't that mean that I know best? I'll give you a clue poppet the answer to this question yeah, it's exactly the same as the answer to my last question..." "Yes Alfie..."

🐻 He can get quite stern when it comes to your health, he won't let you do anything he deems to be reckless... Which could just mean choosing not to phone for the doctor when you're sick. He'll make sure you see a doctor and he'll listen very carefully to what they have to say. Then he'll make sure you follow the doctors advice to the letter.

🐻 He'll take charge of things like your medicine so that you don't have to worry about anything.

🐻 "Now the only thing you need to worry about zieskiet, the only thing I want you to worry about poppet, is getting yourself some rest, all this is cause you don't take proper care of yourself yeah... All your rushin around, causin trouble, all thats wearing you out yeah... So what I want you to do, that's me, your old man yeah, what I'm telling you to do.. Is take your medicine and go to sleep..."

🐻 Ultimately though he's a huge teddy bear, he just wants to cuddle you and keep you close until you're feeling better. He'll hold you in his big arms night and day. Lots of hair and neck kisses.

John

🌼 Similar to Arthur, he'll be so immature at first. He'll probably make a cheeky comment about how you look. Might do a theatrical wince when he sees you, "Shit love you look terrible..." "Charming John, I feel fuckin terrible so I don't care..."

🌼 Hearing your miserable, sarcastic tone is enough to let him know he fucked up and he'll imediately try to compensate even though at first he'll dig himself another hole.

🌼"Well stay away from me then I don't wanna catch it off you..." him teasing you with a smile on his face, going into kiss you anyway.

🌼 But then when you wind up all teary eyed and sad looking he realises he isn't being as funny as he thinks he is and he changes his tactics.

🌼 "Aw come here flower I was just bein daft.. You know what I'm like never know when to be serious thats what you always say ain't it?"

🌼 Him wrapping his arms around you, holding you close to his body and stroking his hand over your hair. Holding your head to his chest and bowing his head to kiss your head.

🌼 Has quite strong fatherly instincts because of the kids, but he'd be lying if he said he really knew what to do. You're the one who looks after him and the kids when they're sick.. So he's a little bit lost but he really wants to get everything right

🌼 Tries really really hard. Will leave the house to get you your medicine and anything else you need no matter what time it is or what the weathers doing.

🌼 Him coming back, soaked to the bone because its raining so hard, but hes smiling and acting like he isnt bothered because he's got you your medicine so you'll be feeling better soon.

🌼 He will kiss you even though you tell him not to. He'll want to give you lots of cuddles. He'll try to tell you jokes or be daft and silly to cheer you up and keep you smiling.

🌼 Will try to cook for you, it doesnt go as horribly as you're expecting it to but your heart jumps every time you hear a crash come from the kitchen.

🌼 Will probably try to be careful and quiet so that you can sleep but its difficult, he likes talking to you!

🌼 Will tease you "ugh look at you youre all snotty and ill, get away from me plague girl," but he will litterally be trapping you in a hug at the same time and kissing you anyway.

🌼 Will get sick, will be a baby about it, "there we go everythings back to normal" when youre taking care of him.

Bonnie

🍀 Thinks its probably his fault you've gotten sick because you probably caught it off someone in the crowd at one of his fights. He firmly believes that the people from the city are dirty and carry germs. So he'll feel guilty.

🍀 Will want to be the one that cares for you even if he has other work he should be doing because you're his girl and he has a very strong caring instinct. He'll want to be responsible for you.

🍀 If you think youre going anywhere or doing anything you're mistaken, he'll have you shut up in the vardo, warm and cosy, wrapped in blankets.

🍀Brings you tea and herbal remedies to help you feel better. Though he mostly believes that what you really need is rest, sleep and good hearty food.

🍀 So he'll go out hunting to catch something really good to cook for you, he'll make you nourishing soup.

🍀 Will actually feed you the soup until you start laughing because you feel so silly

🍀 He won't stray too far from the camp for any other reason, just in case you need him. He'll make sure theres someone else around for you when he's gone.

🍀Him having to explain to the wee kids that you can't play with them today because youre not feeling well and when they sulk and say "its not fair" him grinning and saying "not fair on you, howd you think i feel?"

🍀 You really dont want to get him sick, he needs to be fighting fit for work and you dont want to make him ill. "Bon this shouldn't be you doing this for me, you need to stay away so you don't get..." "I won't get sick little dove, don't worry about me am a big strong lad..." he's really stubborn about this so don't try and argue.

🍀 He will give you all the cuddles he thinks you need. If youre a particularly tearful sick person he will absolutely dote on you, kissing you wherever you say it hurts, kissing your cheeks and eyes and wiping your tears away with his thumbs.

🍀 "Shh dont cry little dove youre alright, gonna get you feeling better soon yeah?"

🍀 Will tell you stories to make you laugh and to keep you from getting bored.

🍀 Putting a blanket out somewhere in the sunlight and sitting with you in his lap, telling you the sunlight will be good for you. Giving you his jacket and jumpers to keep you cosy even though its spring and the suns out.

🍀 Will be the sweetest boy and wont listen to anyone who tries to take the piss out of him for being too soft.

🍀 Won't get ill?! You don't know how he manages to avoid it but somehow he just doesn't catch the cold. Immune system of the gods. How is it possible. You're glad you didnt get him sick but Come On?!

Isaiah

🐀Will jokingly hold his fingers up in the sign of the cross when you sneeze. Will pretend he doesnt want you anywhere near him whilst youre sick.

🐀But he won't leave you alone, will want to kiss you and cuddle you better, he'll tuck you into bed nice and cosy and then lie on top of the covers beside you keeping you company and stroking your hair.

🐀He will run out to the shops to bring you medicine and anything else he thinks you might need. But he's more likely to prioritise buying you treats and comfort foods than he is healthy foods that might actually help.

🐀Like Arthur he believes whiskey cures all. Will bring a bottle of it up to the bedroom and pour you a glass.

🐀 Whilst you're really ill he'll stay nearby, checking your temperature, being very attentive, making sure you don't get anymore ill, he'll probably try to get you to sleep it off and he'll try to keep the house quiet, make sure no one disturbs you..

🐀If theres kids playing out in the street making a racket he will go out there barking orders at them to shut up or play somewhere else cause his girls trying to sleep.

🐀 Then when you're beginning to feel a little better he knows all sorts of ways to make you feel much better... "can't kiss you on the lips darlin but there's nothin stopping me kissin you anywhere else is there..."

🐀 The peaky lads inviting him out down the pub that night and then taking the piss out of him when he refuses, he'll just take the piss straight back, "aye just because i know how to look after my woman John..."

🐀The first few days when youre feeling better he'll still be kind of cautious, keeping a close eye on you, not wanting you to do anything that might make you ill again, "here you sit down love I'll get that for you..."

🐀Lowkey not capable of cooking you dinner and the peaky boys know it, so Ada or Pol will probably send John or Michael round with soups for you and Isaiah will get really defensive because he doesn't like people thinking he can't look after you.

🐀When youre better he'll get you to teach him so that next time he doesnt need anyones help looking after you.

🐀 He will catch your sickness off you but he won't suffer anywhere near as badly as you and he won't let you look after him. If you try so much as to suggest running a bath for him he'll scowl at you and tell you not to patronise him.

Michael

☘️ Does not want to get sick, does not want yo avoid you either so is pretty torn about what to do.

☘️ In the end he settles for kissing your forehead/cheek but not your lips. He'll hold your hands/stroke your hair but if you sneeze or cough he'll totally flinch or shift away.

☘️ He will make sure the maids get you everything you need whenever you need it. He'll have everyone under strict instructions to look after you and you'll become everyone's prioroty.

☘️ Polly will be lowkey pleased because now that youre sick Michael is refusing to do peaky work. He doesnt want to leave you on your own for too long.

☘️ He spoils you, and tells you youre spoilt, but youre his precious girl and he thinks you should be happy all the time, getting whatever you want whenever, and now youre sick and you look so sad his need to keep you happy and look after you is doubled.

☘️ He'll have the house staff bake you cakes snd make all your favourite foods, will feed you the cake and it will feel ridiculous and you will both laugh so much.

☘️He'll sit and read to you, reading you to sleep and reading to you to comfort you when you have a fever.

☘️ He will definitely catch the cold. He will be so so grumpy about catching the cold. You'll both end up tucked up in bed beside one another with the cold feeling rotten but cuddling eachother through it.

☘️When you start feeling better he'll try to pretend hes better too because he finds you trying to take care of him imasculating. He'll end up making himself more ill until he's forced to stay in bed and let you feed him soup and admit that sometimes it's okay to let your woman look after you for a change.

#bonnie gold x reader #peaky blinders imagines #tommy shelby x reader #arthur shelby x reader #john shelby x reader #peaky blinders headcanon #alfie solomons x reader #peaky blinders imagine #michael gray x reader #isaiah jesus x reader

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rzyraffek · 2 years

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Fallout characters with plus size s/o!

(Swf)(also by s/o I mean main character😈)(they them pronouns)

(Funfact:back in the days(midage) plus-size people were seen as richer, better taken care of, because it meant that they didnt have to work they ass of And could affort food. And I feel like it would be similar in apocalipse world😈)(and in ancient rome chubby girls were seen as top tier wife materials) (those are my honest thought about characters and how they really would react, so if one of them seems mean, im sorry)

Fallout3

Butch- okay we all know he is an asshole, he would bully them with his super mega cool gang. BUT when they save his mom he will respect them madly, and feel guilt. Sadly there was no time for apologising because s/o was busy looking for their dad. Oh I forgot to mension, he is great example of this cringy prompt "he bullies you because he loves you"🙄 But after s/o came back to valut he went😳 specialy if s/o got some cool scars/piercings/shaved heas/tattoos. Also He will bully Amanda for kicking them from valut. And then probably leave too, its boring without them. And he finds strech Marks hot (they are super hot for him) (when they meet in wastelands he will apologise and simp)

Charon- bruh he simply doesnt care, about their looks. Fuck when they met he didnt even care about their peronality. It was simple they point he shoots. But later after long time and work Charon finally starts to belive them that he isnt just another tool, another weapon. For them he was a person with his own history and opinions and thats what got him in love, not their looks. Of course it took a long time for him to get use to the idea of being his own free person But he slowly warms up to it. Also no matter how much they weigh he can pick them up easly. He sucks at any kind of comunication but Hes trying

Fallout new vegas

Raul-just like charon- He doenst care about their looks. He seen all types of people, before and after bombs.

Boone- this guy judges everyone, doesnt matter if u are top1 skinnies person ever or the most musuclar ever, he will judge you at first. Later he turns into smol bean that needs comforting and hugs. He is this Type of person to never talk about his emotions but He will open up later. He will Just hug them from behind and say some unholy stuff🙄men🙄

Benny-tbh he feels like guy Who would be more into plus-size people than skinny. Also He would spoil them with complements. He has No opinon about strech marks,they are Just there thats all. If any of his chairman would even Look at them in wrong way... guess Who lost job today😎. He would love cuddles and BENNY THE SMOL SPOON🤯

Vuples-this bitch, this little crazy furry. He would say a lot of mean coments. But if his future s/o proves that they are as strong(and even stronger) than average person He will stop. He Just tried to intimidate them, and tried to find easy spot. He wont apologise but wont do it ever again. And deeper into relationship He would love to hug them and say good stuff about their looks (not complements more like honest good words idk how to explain)

Arcade-finds it cute, specialy if s/o has big tights. At first he wont comment on it(he is raised well, he know that its rude to coment someones body) but if they get along he will let them know that they look stunning🥰 Just imagine him resting his head on their legs and reading random book then falling asleep.

Joshua Grahm- he is a chirstian boi he would neve-😳lourd have mercy😳😳 he thought the only women he needs in his life is holy mary but oh my. He is lucky that he has whole body covered in bangades. If he could, he would blush. Bonus points if s/o belives in the same God as him. He will invite them to prays together, if they arent religious he will still invite them in hopes that they will join him🤯 he is in love with their chubby arms and/or legs. And hes the last one to judge their strech marks(his skin care is worse than my math grade i dont think he cares about their ether) (also strech marks arent caused by bad skin care that was a joke please dont cancel me)

Ulysses- he knew them for years, he doesnt care and will bomb anyone mean to them. Imagine romantic afternoon, firecamp, s/o sitting On ground fixing their gun/Reading magazines and ulysses Just laying On their lap or stomach and telling stories. He been thrue alot, most of it may be scary but there were some good parts and thats what he is focusing on at this point of his life.

I will make seperate one for fallout 4 characters later. Its just a lot of them and im sleepy.

And by s/o dont mean nesecary romantic relationship, i just didnt know what to call it? Because theres no way in hell im putting y/n in this (unless somone request)

Also if u got offended im so sorry(im not jokin i really apoligise) and im not skinny aswell so some of those ideas i got from my own expirience and life🥰 its 2am btw

#fallout new vegas #fnv #vulpes inculta #arcade gannon #fnv companions #fallout 3 #fallout charon #butch deloria #boone x courier #craig boone #fnv arcade #joshua graham #ulysses #fnv ulysses #benny gecko x reader #fnv benny #benny gecko #raul tejada #fnv raul

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thegeminisage · 24 days

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ok it's star trek update time. once again. i've fallen behind 💀 tuesday we did voy's "the cloud" and "phage" (out of order bc plex numbered them incorrectly/user error), wednesday we did ds9's "dentiny" and voy's "eye of the needle," and last night we watched ds9's "prohphet motive" and voy's "ex post facto."

the cloud (voy):

man this one sucked ass

well, i did like janeway's personal log. i love women getting to have the same normal problems a man would. i like janeway a lot, even if she still feels a bit stiff to me sometimes

actually, WAIT, why is the academy TEACHING captains they need to maintain a certain distance? like sure yes it's a bad idea to fuck your subordinates (even though picard said there was NO?? regulation on that...) but surely you're supposed to like. care about them. between this and deanna winning the kobayashi maru by killing geordi i'm starting to wonder if starfleet expects captains to simply not CARE about people. there's something larger at work in my brain re: this thought, like, kirk was always going on missions himself to protect people despite that putting him greater danger, and now they don't want captains to leave the chair or care about people...hell universe. and since picard never left the chair or cared about anyone it may have made for good policy but it made for BAD tv

ANYWAY.

accidentally got spoiled for neelix being the cook bc of reverse ep order lol

tom paris once again insufferable bc he's like dont invite the captain to poker night or whatever. for a rebellious felon he's really toeing that starfleet line. also, the LAST thing in the world i want is more holodeck but ESPECIALLY if i have to watch tom paris make out with realfake holo women on it. HOLO PEOPLE ARE ALIVE YOU FOOLS

i thought this episode was gonna be about coffee and it wasn't :( it was just a few jokes here and there

the nebula plot was stupid. you ram a hole in it and you're gonna fix it by ramming more holes? neelix is the only mfer that gets it. that said, i DO support women's rights to ram ill-advised things through holes - whenever, however, and as often as they like.

chakotay teaching janeway to find her animal guide (complete with the medicine bundle...) being played TOTALLY straight and serious just about ended me. like i knew they werent gonna be like "haha just kidding you are a REALLY gullible white person" at the end but watching them not do that was really really awful

harry kim just casually dropping he remembers being in the womb. alright.

janeway muting the doc when he is trying to speak :( holo-racist

i do like that firstly harry was like fuck tom paris im inviting janeway and secondly that she can play pool really well. those were nice touches. the non-racist janeway stuff was good! i just wish the rest of the episode had been good too lol

phage (voy):

i liked this one MUCH better. first of all, neelix in the cave about to get his lungs stolen very "mistew obama pwease hewp me" core. then perish. rip in pieces poor neelix :(

secondly, what an interesting ethical dilemma...can you kill a person to save a person? not in starfleet ig but if i was janeway i would have been real tempted. neelix is great

kes giving up one of her lungs to neelix was so sweet, actually. kes has grown on me a HUGE amount in a very very short time. i absolutely love her kindness, which was boring at first because i didn't really feel like she was being kind in a way that stood out from any run of the mill compassionate character. but her scenes with the doctor bring out the best in both of them, i think - like, he kicks her out initially, and then asks her to stay because he's in over his head. and rather than dismissing him she stays and asks if he wants to unionize. the fact that she's DETERMINED to treat him as a fully realized person when he doesn't even treat himself that way...she recognizes unmet needs and works to fix them, just because that's who she is. AUGH she's such a good personnn she;s gonna make a GREAT doctor

lung stealing aliens are way cooler than the slaver aliens even if they are horrible to look at. i LOVE how mad janeway got at them. she was like if i EVER see you again its on sight and i believe her. and she scared them so good they fixed neelix <3 kinda goes to show compassion wins...and that kind of compassion/adherence to morals in the face of personal loss and righteous anger IS a kirk move honorific. and winning because of those qualities is a kirk move. ugh i like janeway so much

"one day i'll surprise you mister tuvok" i love them. wah. tuvok reminds me SO much of spock...he's got that eyebrow thing happening

also, neelix getting his lungs removed totally makes this the spiritual sequel to spock's brain

destiny (ds9):

the whole time i was watching this i felt like sokka in that one atla episode. "can your science prove why it rains" core. like just because there are three cardassians and some river went somewhere...it's especially galling to me that kira buys into it completely. i always forget she's religious, and she's so SMART i didn't think she'd get caught up in the prophecy of it all.

recited the 35th rule of acquisition alongside quark which felt. bad. i still haven't forgiven him but i'm trying

cardassian lady accidentally flirting with obrien was EXTREMELY funny. that's twice now he's banged his head on the ceiling and it's incredibly charming

kira and sisko being buddies 🥺 kira like it's had to work for space jesus!!! so true girl. though she literally was sleeping with a space priest. their bits were sooo good though, you can FEEL how much he doesn't want the enormity of his role, and how much kira believes in him - and i personally get the sense it's because she's SEEN him work. like she believes in him on a professional level, as well, because he ALWAYS has her back. man i would totally believe he was space jesus too who can blame her he's amazing

i did at least like the rational explanation for the prophecies- that nonlinear aliens simply just tell people things. i do wonder why they can't just knock on the wormhole and ask those guys some questions, though

anyway, firmly mid. normally i love kira-heavy episodes but i just had such a hard time not going full sokka in this one. sorry, kira!

eye of the needle (voy):

THIS ONE BLEW MY TITS CLEAN OFF!! best voyager episode yet imho

firstly we are still sending things through holes. fantastic.

also, kes went from "eh she is boring" to "i would die for her" at warp speed......her scenes with the doctor are all SO good. kes recognizing his humanity when most people in starfleet don't know holograms are alive/don't care that holograms are alive, when HE HIMSELF does not think of himself as being alive...mwah. david cage wishes. it feels like an inverse of the data situation, because data WANTED to be alive but struggled to fit in with humanity, whereas the doctor didn't give two shits about being treated like a real person until kes started talking to him about it, and would in fact fit in effortlessly with "real people" were he not confined to the medbay.

and the doctor's bitterness! no one speaks directly to him despite asking him to function as an entire medical staff. no one remembers to turn him off, leaving him to suffer through hours of boredom, or people turn him off when he isn't ready, leading to problems with his experiments. and the existential dread of being abandoned on the ship alone while everyone else potentially transports home through the wormhole...and someone potentially forgetting to deactivate him first.

i really like how janeway reacted to the news that the doctor might be alive. she was like "girl no way" and then kes was like "yes way" and she decided to investigate herself rather than be dismissive about it. she was very good in this episode overall but i like that she showed compassion to someone/something she wasn't even sure was alive. it was very siskocore of her.

and finally...that sweet a-plot. letswatchstartrek, my least favorite website that is absolute essential to my functioning, GAVE THIS A TWO. because "well it's season 1 we all know they aren't getting home this episode." those fucking idiots, that's WHY this episode is good!! it's about hope. do they understand nothing

like, everyone trying SO HARD to curb their expectations at first because the wormhole is so small and so decayed and the absolute MOST they can hope for is to get a message through...the agony of the wormhole going back to where they need to be but them not being able to get through and the only person picking up the phone being a FUCKING romulan who think they're prank calling him

and the way that like this predicament utterly humanizes everyone involved. janeway answering the phone in her nightgown. asking about this romulan's family. the barriers between starfleet and romulus breaks down instantly under the shared connection of being adrift without one's family. what a perfect illustration of the compassion one can have for strangers because deep down even aliens are made of the same stuff as we are.

and then of course by the end janeway is like it doesn't matter! secrecy doesn't matter! let's have hope for a minute let's believe this will work! and then IT DOESN'T WORK. or, actually, what's worse is that it could work, they could theoretically go back to the alpha quadrant 20 years ago, but it will fuck everything up if they do, and they can't even prevent themselves from getting stuck out here. all they can do is send the romulan home with their messages and then..........

............have no idea if he found a way to send them before he died ahead of schedule. like. ALL THEY HAVE IS HOPE. like of COURSE you know theyre not gonna get home in season 1 but THAT IS WHAT MAKES IT INSANE.

also, hi, b'elanna not having anyone at home who cares if she lives or dies...this retroactively makes chakotay's protectiveness of her so much more meaningful. everyone who loves her is already on this ship :( aaaagggh

prophet motive (ds9):

god this one sucked so bad. rare L for ds9 and a major one at that

i spent most of it googling whether or not people actually liked the ferengi episodes (to my dismey: yes, people on reddit think they're funny), but i also spent some time googling how many more episodes we had to suffer through this grand nagus bullshit (4) and getting my little guys stolen on chess.

i have been wanting to see the wormhole aliens again FOREVER and wondered why you can't just go and talk to them and then they show up in this of all places...they so nicely let people go through their wormhole and then this dude disrespectfully bothers them...

also, to SELL an orb back to the bajorans...i hope he dies. i hope kira specifically kills him and loots the orb off his corpse.

the only two moments of note in this episode were 1. quark talking ancient unknowable aliens into letting him and the nagus leave unscathed through a combination of fast thinking and being annoying, which would be charming were i not in such dire anti-quark straits 2. rom robbing the nagus blind LMAOOO good for him. i hope he shared exactly zero of it with quark

on a final note, the space station, unlike tng's enterprise, does NOT seem to be self-cleaning. thank god for that.

EDIT I NEARLY FORGOT JULIAN BASHIR B PLOT!!!!! he wanted to win so bad even though he knew there wasnt a chance 🥺 my poor HORRIBLY competitive fella. and then it was three days of marinating in the fact that he was never gonna win

also odo cold reading him about the acceptance speech lmfao. love that

ex post facto (voy):

i would have liked this episode a LOT if it had happened to anyone but tom paris. imagine if a guy you liked had special brain torture every 14 hours even though he was totally innocent and only a mind meld from tuvok could save him. like, picture almost any other trek character in this situation. bashir. riker. even bones. any of them could maybe perhaps do a little kissing of a married woman and get themselves into trouble and it would be one of my favorite episodes of all time. even the plot twist of WHY he was falsely accused was fun and clever. unfortunately, i simply cannot bring myself to care about tom paris.

tuvok my best friend tuvok. he DID HIS HOMEWORK! the eyebrow movements, the way he did the mind meld from the same position that spock melded with dr van gelder in dagger of the mind my beloved. all these things are unmistakably vulcan because leonard nimoy did them first and SPOCK is unmistakably vulcan, despite all his lifelong insecurities. now that i've met other vulcans properly i know that better than ever and i wish he could too.

ALSO, HI, MARRIED 67 YEARS??? lowkey sad he and janeway can't get it now but also, do we think he has BABIES? do we think he has GRANDBABIES?? grandpa tuvok my best friend AAAGHGH. also, since this series is 7 years long and also because of a spoilery gifset EYE happen to know pon farr is inevitable. but i bet his wife had to fix it herself back home too so ik she will forgive him

anyway, if i was innocent, there's no one i'd rather have on my side than tuvok. he went above and beyond the call of duty there. i was really surprised he powered through the meld and experienced being murdered so well. i mean he took that like a champ. that's on vulcan stoicism...also AUGH janeway INSISTING he not do that bc she knows it will be horrible and the long time she spent searching his face before finally agreeing to it. i would never want him to cheat on his wife but they could also theoretically hypothetically get it.

and finally, CUTEST dog in the world this episode. it's so odd looking it does such a great job at jumping around everywhere

TONIGHT: ds9's "visionary" and voy's "emanations"

#personal #star trek blogging #voy lb #ds9 lb #it took me like two days to type all this lol

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beesmygod · 1 year

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I'm glad you watched another playthrough of the devil in me bc sgfs run made it look so bad I wondered if he had missed some absolutely crucial game choice but no I guess it really is just like that

the shit makes no sense. im going to "spoil" it rn but like. you can't spoil this game. theres no twist theres just a fucked up guy who walks at you. the killer was killerman. you win prize money.

like lets do a quick list of what was good ("good") and what wasnt. most of these are just going to be moments or isolated plot elements

THE BAD:

it wasnt as accidentally funny as their previous games. accidentally funny i mean.

it had the audacity to end with someone picking up the h.h. holmes mask (not a thing that exists btw. no one is making these except like custom on etsy. its so fucking suspicious) like "oooh hes going to do it agaiiiin!" but he got chopped up by a boat propeller. no he isnt

the areas and parts where certain players were "supposed" to die were REALLY telegraphed and detrimental to the pacing of an already artificially bloated plot

why was there a dog that hated the murderer living on the island waiting to bite the shit out of him. whose dog was that. why was there dog. cheap emotional fodder tossed in at the end.

the opening kill is legitimately unpleasant to watch. they forgot that the kills are supposed to be gruesome and not stomach churningly sadistic or remind me of holocaust movies

the characters are genuinely awful and boring people who hate each other. not a single lifeline to be had. even the dog shows up too late for you to establish any kind of friendship

the reason why no one has cell phones is because a guy who is tricking them into taking his place as the murder victims just takes them as part of the "experience". they're a fucking film crew lol. theres no way

i legit thought it was going to end up being a team of people bc he was somehow everywhere at once doing the slow jason walk

instead it's one man, an ex-FBI agent who was abused by his mom and gets talked into doing serial murder by the single lamest serial killer monologue ive ever heard in my life. its just a guy who decided to try something different one day. and then i guess he built a murder hotel after faking his death so he could do more murder. this sucks. i dont care about this.

the plot elements are completely random. the animatronics made out of PEOPLE (they apparently did not get the news that they were beat to this idea by a solid near decade) have nothing to do with anything at all. not h.h. holmes, not murder hotel. they're just there for no reason. they barely even get used.

and they had the audacity to show him MAKING animatronics OF THE 5 FILM CREW MEMBERS after they arrived on the island. this game takes place over the course of one day. he did not do this. there is no way. this game stretches the player's suspension of disbelief too far.

the writing on the mom and the serial killer is pathetic lol. its rough to see evil attempted by people who can only conceptualize it in terms of physical violence

oh great another taxidermy guy. thanks

it was just some guy

THE "GOOD"

the ending is so bad that its ballsy. it cuts to a news reporter talking about how they are still finding bodies in the hotel where 5 person groups were tricked into staying so that they could be murdered. the ppl watching the report are interrupted by their friend who tells them her viral video won a contest (dog its 2022 lol) and the prize is that 5 of them get to stay in a mysterious hotel owned by a man with the same name as the guy they were just talking about.

then it zooms into the email the girl got telling her that she won and that one image of h.h. holmes is just in the window

did he make the little graphic announcing she has won? did he deliberately include himself? did he not notice somehow that he was in the picture. did he set up a timer and run up to the top floor so he could be very spooky and mysterious

HOW could he POSSIBLY afford another murder house. the invoice for the first one on the private island is IN THE GAME and its an eye popping amount. he does NOT have another house like where is he getting the money? or getting it zoned? or tricking ANOTHER construction team into building death traps that are suspiciously like the ones on the news

theres a part where a woman is stuck in a closet having an anxiety/asthma attack and the scary murder man gives her her inhaler. for some reason. this is never explained

why did he have ultra specific recordings of his mom commenting on what time he arrives and what page of his baby book he looks at. or what time it is.

theres phonographs and creepy music playing everywhere and no one turns them off like "what the fuck!!!" they're just like ooooh no im being menaced SSOOOO much

why was one of the crew members friends with someone who was strangled by "the campus strangler". as far as i can tell this adds nothing to the story, it just freaks her. as the player i dont care bc the the killerman just finds this out somehow and finds a copy of the paper where they used a photo taken of her, her friend and the strangler. guess which one is the strangler:

how could they identify his fake dead body from "dental records". they explicit say this. did he fucking glue a set of teeth into the guys mouth. is he toothless throughout the whole game. is he wearing fake teeth. im laughing just typing this up. what the fuck

he pulled an hh holmes on the construction crew after they built a hh holmes themed murder hotel for him.

the murder counter. why does it exist. how does it know to update.

im now thinking about how funny it is that he put in a 4th digit. get real dude! no WAY

the director being baited into an obvious trap with cigarettes like he was being hunted by wiley e. coyote was insane. my dude you are being murdered. you know you are at this point. why did you go into the room with only one entrance!!

this:

it was just some guy

#long post

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disabledautisticgreen · 5 months

Text

My mom was my caretaker until she died. She made appointments for me and drove me places.

She also resented me and made fun of me often. She was my caretaker, but she didn't want to be, and she also abused me my whole life. Up until she died.

People don't like to think about child abuse that goes past the age of 18. Because people will just tell you to "just leave" as if you can

I've been fakeclaimed and called a spoiled brat for my mom being my caretaker. And bullied into having meltdowns because of it. Told i probably wasn't as mentally ill as i am

Now I don't really have anyone so nothing gets done. I get told to be an adult because i can't rely on my mom anymore. I dont know how to respond to it every time i get told it.

My mom was sexually abusive (mdsa), was emotionally abusive, medically neglected me, otherwise neglected me, and was financially abusive, and resented me, and got joy out of making other people (including me) upset. But she was still my caretaker of sorts

And now i dont have that and i cant get the help i need. People tell me i dont need my hand held to do some things when i say i do. Caretakers are usually family. Because the medical system sucks.

Caretakers are also sometimes disabled as well. My mom and I sometimes swapped who was taking care of who. Because it was just us. And she couldn't afford at at home aide for after her back and neck surgeries.

Caretakers can be abusive. But that doesn't mean they all are. They should be included. Because without caretakers, many disabled people will suffer

#not vent #disability #abuse #caretaker abuse #abuse by caretaker #actually disabled #just frank talk about caretakers #mdsa #but dont call me a woman for experiencing mdsa. not a woman. i am a man #neglect #just sharing my experience

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ankhisms · 1 year

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ok i didnt take a lot of screenshots while i watched but i did write down some thoughts as i was watching so heres episode 41-44 thoughts

ep 41

really fucked up that ZECT has a like gas bomb that makes worms lose their mimic abilities and then they go in and kill them like honestly in that scene it seemed like the worms were like hiyori and rich boy and reina like just living normal lives not harming anyone. frankly im on the worms side here that was fucked up

tendou really climbed an entire mountain just to be dramatic on the top because of course he did

theres a new goth guy in town with a trench coat that hes got the hood pulled up on so you know he means evil business

"what does it mean that i am the top of zects son" kagami how have you gone this long without knowing that your dad is the boss of zect. like i know youre estranged. but you work for zect.

aw rich boy is so worried about his besties being hurt

kagami has admitted that it was a lavender marriage

tosses glitter and falls over, dead

KAGAMI HAS BEEN TACKLED AND HANDCUFFED FOR TRYING TO SEE HIS DAD. I HATE HIS DAD..kagami we need to kill your dad

renge voice how did you get an entire huge bed with a canopy over it inside our tiny ass cafe. did you really have to sleep here. tendou voice who cares. have breakfast. dont question anything that happens anymore

POURING SUGAR ALL OVER THE TOFU WHATRE YOU DOING

"the end is close" ok thats not ominous at all. normal things your dad says to you

"father why was i born" kagami..... kagami my friend kagami )): i havent seen anything about the end of kabuto but i do genuinely have a bad gut feeling about how everything might end for kagami like im concerned about him

the hoppers looking at rich boy and going god i wish someone would call me young master and spoil me and rich boy going hahaha so true. who the fuck are you guys again is so funny. and then theynjust start fighting for no reason like ok yeah sure

"please dont hold a grudge against my son" "i dont hold any grudges against kagami" dont worry mr zect president tendou is holding something else entirely against your son. as in hes holding him in his arms and um

"im not doing this for zect im doing it for someone i trust" aw kagami. i still think its a bad fucking plan

OK SURE HE WAS A WORM THE WHOLE TIME. SURE. WHY NOT.

"i wont trust anyone anymore" GOD. KAGAMI. IM VERY WORRIED ABOUT HIM LIKE WOW. HIS LIFE SUCKS CURRENTLY

THEYRE PUNCHING KAGAMI REALLY FAST HASNT HE GONE THRU ENOUGH

i get kagami might be a bit shocked that the guy hes been working with at zect and really trusted is a worm but like. i dont understand him having such a violent and like disgusted angry response to him like kagami knows that hiyori is a worm and knows that tsurugi is a worm and he has no issues with them?? and like his team mate guy was trying to protect him and help him and rushed over to see if he was ok and tried to help him up so its just kind of like. kagami i get you might be shocked but this is still the same guy youve always known and respected and trusted its just like. cmon now

ep 42

"time only flows for me" ok sure! whatever the fuck! i just am accepting every single thing that happens now because like yeah why not. this might as well happen enough bizarre unexplainable shit has happened already we might as well through something else in

watching a hostage tape ransom message on a projector

ok the zect counsel is like hooded mysterious figures. makes sense

TOFU DUEL......... TWO!!!!!!!!

i can not believe i forgot about kagami having a brother which was a whole thing in the beginning which was very tragic and sad it feels like the whole direction and feeling of the show has changed so much since then

baseball with feelings

"i kept seeing my sister in her" UM. DONT SAY THAT

i love kagami pushing open his jacket and touching the gattack belt in the same kind of movement an old wild west cowboy would do to reach for his gun holster in a shootout its very fun

misaki why did you say yes to going out with him suddenly. misaki please

it feels meaningful to me that tadokoro comes to save kagami and fight the other worm in his human form.... and then him reaching out to help kagami up and kagami taking his hand vs how kagami reacted when he first found out. cries

you may be able to stop time but consider this: im the fucking sun

not gorou chan is so mad about not being able to launch a missile attack. typical government behavior

TENDOU DITCHED THEIR TOFU DUEL

uh oh the other tendou is here

ep 43

other tendou skips into the cafe and is like lalalaaa im going to kill tendou. okay byeeeeeeee and skips out

"hiyori doesnt want to see you any more" DONT SAY THAAAAT HES HER BIG BROTHERRRRR

i do enjoy tendou two as a character so far hes fun

"how did you come here from the edge of time and space" "lol not telling you"

help this really is like this universe isnt big enough for two tendous

tendou two, while beating tendou up: whyre you hitting yourself stop hitting yourself

why must we fight the goth evil worm guy why cant we kiss him

cant visit your boyfriend in the emergency care ward of the hospital unless you look hot

the evil goth worm guy being able to copy any attack he gets hit with is a fun twist

IM NOT MISAKINU. IM MISAKI. YOU TELL HIM GO

"when my mimic defeats me" tendou. dont fucking say that. but also it makes sense. hes the kind of big brother who would sacrifice himself to save his little sisters. but like tendou. tendou your sisters need you alive. kagami needs you alive

"keep it all a secret from kagami" STOP!+!!!!!!! NO. YOU KNOW THIS IS GOING TO BREAK HIS HEART YOU KNOW HE WOILD DO ANYTHING TO STOP YOU FROM SACRIFICING YOURSELF

crying and sobbing about tendou teaching jyuka to cook. he loves both his little sisters so much but also he misses hiyori and cooking with hiyori was their sibling bonding activity

aw tendou two loves hiyori in his own way and doesnt want hiyori to be sad ):

the scene with tendou saying i have to die to save hiyori and kagami trembling and yelling AND I HAVE TO WATCH AND DO NOTHING WHILE YOU DIE?? they were in love there

yknow what i cant even blame hiyori for saying shes not returning to the world ever again. its her choice she should be allowed to make that choice. but also. sad

ep 44

i kind of wonder if hiyori was written out of the show because her actress was needing to do something else but i could always be wrong it just is kind of what the whole deal felt like

NOT MY RICH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!

did not at all expect kageyama to stop his hopper-isms and put on a suit and be THA BEE again but im proud of him

oh he fucking got his ass kicked. well he tried

LETS GO HOME.... WAAAAAA... I LOVE YOU SIBLINGS...

i do feel bad for tendou two like it kind of seems like his entire existence was made to revolve around pretending to be tendou to keep hiyori there or whatever but also they had him fucking chained up and locked away tortured and now hes all alone. that sucks so bad for that guy

oop kageyama took off his suit hes back on the path of hell

OK TENDOU TWO IS GOING CRAZY. OK. DID HE JUST FUVKING KILL HIYORI. HOLY SHIT

#kr kabuto lb

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lettersformiah · 2 years

Text

9:19am, 8 aug

hi bubsy <3 i love you so much im in english right now and it so fucking boring. like we are just filling in the table of language features n shit and i do not care at all. mrs wilson didnt call my name on the roll so i hope she at least marked me present. but i hate her and i hate this class. thankfully only like 2 more terms of it to go ^-^ omgosh i just thought of it! today si the day you get your flowers >:] which means i cant upload this letter until after you get them and text me about them so i dont spoil the surprise! but yeah hehehe >:D i got some flowers sent to u bc obvs i cant cant get you any and i think you deserve some <3 im so sorry we havent been spending that much time together, its so fucking hard online bc i am so tired after work and dance and even just plain school and then when you are busy we cant call until late and by then im already so sleepy. i am very very sorry its so fucking hard recently but i still enjoy just sitting with you when i can. youre very very very lovely and i hope the flowers make u happy <3 mwahmwhawmahwmhamh other than that! i have a headache! but i get to hang out with kealan for a bit after school and chat so that will be nice bc i havent talked to him for like a few weeks? like properly talked ig? yesterday was mainly maya and leo chatting so i havent really hear about his life in a hot minute. thatll be fun. unless its raining then it absolutely wont be. oh! my dad is sick :( was a bit ill yesterday but this morning was even worse and didnt go to work. poor fella. i hope he feels better soon but at the very least i hope he doesnt give it to me bc as much as i hate it i do actually want to make it to gisborne this weekend. omg! my bday is saturday. so fucking weird. im gonna be old :D and our 6 month is tomorrow!! so the flowers are also for that, even though that wasnt at all what my intention for them was. they are bday flowers, anniversary flowers, and simply flowers because i love you. :D ! hehehe i love you soso smuch babba. i still have half an hour of this fuckin class left and my head achy and shit :( but ignoring that, the rest of my day will be all good and im excited to judt get home and eat bro. like i want a munch on the risotto and my chocolate and i want to talk to you. and then i have to deal with dance which will suck but this week i gotta actually go both days and im gonna try my best to enjoy it and be okay :D okok im gonna text u and tell u i wrote a letter so that u can remind me to post it after school. i love you!

i lub u so much and ur so so pretty and i cant wait to be able to give u a lil kiss on the cheek while ur sleepin cause ur sosos cute hehehhe >:D okok talk soon talk soon please wake up soon its unbearable without u <3 mwahwmahmwahmwah

-mads<3

#letters

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leafiion · 2 months

Text

It’s party rock IS … HELPPP M4 CATGIRL????

BOOO THE VIDEO SAID “DONT CARE” I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT M2 CAUGHT :( …M6?!!!!!???! M2 says GOMENASORRY… Melia voice I need to max win (or something…)

Help me evil ren in evil future?? Aww he kind of has a bedhead when he’s Normal…

O shit talon is going to Die die. I mean I knew he died already bc I got spoiled but he’s gonna die for real. Okay venam how the fuck do you battle Brutally and Heartlessly for real. Big fan of how clear seems to be on your side(?). I mean I didn’t watch the rest of the route just the divergence point but I’d like to believe we’re gathering an army of weirdgirls(?) to end the world

Okay bye bye Erin… we’ve lost one weirdgirl. Oh we’re gonna kill talon for real real he is SO dead. OH FUCK DYLAN MOMENT I ljke him :) so friendy and lowkey loserful and also wounded rn. This music is banger. ERASED .. oh I love m2 so much easily she’s so swag. Nvm she’s fucked she likes thin mints that’s fucked up.

Oh fuck rooftop. It’s time to fucking kill talon. The 4 annihilates is fucked lmaoo.. OKAY JUST KILL THEM THEN GOD DAMN. JESUS. okay fuck it. Awww she’s still Melia deep inside … +budooka.

BODY SNATCHING .? Oh okay no just aevis moment the sequel. Oh my god m2 is so great finally someone who shares my love for being a cunt and murdering people. Hmm I just realized that this isn’t a full playthrough. Damn. That sucks. FUCK YES REVENGE!! WOOOO

wow. Can you leave M2 the fuck alone. Also “how long did you suffer in oblivion” literally she said 6 years did you not listen. I like how they take the airplane crash in complete stride that’s funny. Okay what the fuck. “I’m not cheering twice”.. YEAH THEY DIED.

Hit them with the “get a hobby”. God idk what it is but even tho I’m not a huge fan of rejuv the villains (“villains”.) usually really hit. WALL ATTACK!! Mmm2 we should really, like, get you a name that isn’t a number designation. And that’s the end of the playthrough :/ waaah whatever I’ll look the rest up later

#rjvp #<- ig?#I kinda miss team xen but I love m2 we could be bestiessss

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protagonistheavy · 2 months

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An annoying phenomenon within online multiplayer games is when it becomes something of a meme to DC from games under particular conditions, i.e. if you get sent to a particular map, or the enemy is playing particular characters/abilities

In Overwatch 1, there were 2CP maps, which became a gamemode generally disliked by most of the community -- even though it was, realistically, a fairly balanced gamemode, especially in the competitive environment where both teams swapped sides. Nothing was inherently wrong with this map or mode design, but lots of people just didn't like it, and thus there became a sense of illegitimacy to having to even play on some of these maps. The most infamous two, I think, are Paris and Lunar Colony -- infamous for how often people would DC immediately, which causes games to either close down, or fall into a never-ending backfill problem.

And this became justified because "the map isn't good." We ended up with this awkward community census that you just dont have to actually play these maps. In effect, it became a meme to DC from these games; everyone was doing it, everyone "knows" these maps "suck," so it's okay if you're just in on the joke and DC.

... But then that itself becomes a problem with these maps uniquely: people keep fucking DCing from these maps. People dont even give these maps a fair shake partly because they're never having a real game there -- there's just constantly people leaving or giving up, so you never get a real experience of playing there. A community learning curve just becomes stunted -- and worse, it becomes stunted permanently, because even though Lunar Colony got reworked two different times, each time bettering the map layout and addressing common issues, people just still DC'd when they got to Lunar Colony, because lol map suck.

And in Dead by Daylight, the same phenomenon is happening to some killers, namely the Skull Merchant. This killer has been received poorly due to a playstyle and ability set that isn't quite like other killers; I could go on all day about the problems she's had, but BHVR has noticed these problems themselves and have given her two major reworks in order to make her more appealing to play against as survivors.

... But as with Lunar Colony, it doesn't matter. Unfortunately it's become ingrained in the community at large to just not even try to play against Skull Merchant; just DC and go next. And in DBD, this is crippling, since there are no backfills, which means anyone leaving puts the rest of the survivors at a huge disadvantage. Which then feeds into itself, the problem that people don't get good experiences playing against Skull Merchant this way, and so they never learn or adapt.

And this is so frustrating when the design of these game elements seems genuinely fixed. The devs have addressed the problem points, they've patched in reworks, and generally accomplish what they set out to do -- but then there's still a significant amount of players that just don't care and DC anyway, ruining the experience for everyone else, and leaving people to think that the game element is still poorly designed.

It's a stink on these elements that I wonder if it can ever be washed off. Even if you took Skull Merchant and turned her into a completely different kind of character with all new abilities, I really do believe people would still DC immediately against her, simply because they remember all these bad experiences, they remember all the other people that DC'd from her, and they're going to think it's okay to do the same.

And I think this is one of the most obnoxious community things within games. It's such a spoiled attitude, isn't it? It's a misuse of the ability to disconnect -- why put up with anything you don't like in the game, if you can just skip over the parts you don't want to deal with? This steps into the argument of "it's my game that I paid for, I can play it how I want" -- yeah you sure can, and if you choose to be an asshole that exploits this privilege, you're an asshole! And you're degrading the rest of the community with you.

How can this sort of problem really be fixed in game design? If the community has simply rallied against an entire element of the game, what do you even do? Leave it as is to continually piss people off? Or rework the element, just for a null-effect and people are still continually pissed off? With the case of Lunar Colony, Blizzard was fortunate they could simply turn the map off and move away from that entire game mode, but with BHVR, they're just sort of stuck with an entire character -- an entire identity they've had teams working on for possibly years -- that no one likes, and the reason no one likes her, is because no one likes her. How maddening.

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iwillfeastonyourflesh · 3 months

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i dont think im a good person. i think im one of the worst types. i see whats wrong, understand that its wrong, and still i let it happen. sometimes i actively participate in it. my oldest brother is kind, and doesnt let anything anyone says about him stop him from living truthfully. but the things people say are fucking awful, and i know that i wouldnt be able to handle it as well as he does. my other brother saw what was happening to him, and decided to not let it happen to him. he became one of those popular kids that has a huge ego, but he saw my brother and never bullied someone else. i saw both the paths i could choose, and walked in the middle. im friends with people who aren’t actually popular, but act like they are and gossip like it. they’re shit people and bully/talk shit about people behind their backs. this includes me. the girl i talk to the most in the group, as shes in most of my classes, spends all the time shes with me either complaining about her family or making fun of people. if shes willing to talk crap about the people she actually likes in the group, shes def talking crap about me. shes said things to my face before, but other than calling me a loser the thing she said that stuck with me most was telling me i was the uglier version of another friend (im going to call her S). ive always compared myself to S, as shes the one i look most like. having an example of what i should be right next to me all the time sucks, but i don’t blame her for it. i have a lot of other friends, but none that i could fit into the group with. im not sure what to do. i know that a lot of people who are “older and wiser” than me will say that what’s happening to me rn isnt a big deal, and im aware of that. i try not to let these things affect me, as there are people who have actual problems and arent just spoiled kids who make jokes too much and accidentally made people think shes unaffected. a few days ago the friend who i spend the most time with (im calling her C) made a joke about one of our friends to her face, but it was the kind of joke thats too far. in response to her doing this, since i was right next to her, i told a “joke” to her face that was too far. i said something about how she ruins all of our conversations with negative comments, and thats why nobody talks to her. i could tell by her face that it hurt. she was almost silent the rest of class. i feel like complete and utter shit for saying it, but i keep trying to remind myself that she needs to learn. she comes from a rich family, and thinks that the few minor inconveniences in her life matter to everyone. her mom has bipolar, and the meds she was taking for it made her severely depressed and she ended up going to the hospital for it. ever since she came back from the hospital, C’s been acting like her mom is batshit insane. she got on the bus one time upset that her dad yelled at her, and ended up telling me that her moms crazy because shes not doing anything to take care of herself. i know people who were abused by their parents, and got beaten half to death but still sent back to their house because of the fucked up system we have. C telling me that pissed me off bc she gets whatever she wants, whenever she asks for it, and has never had to worry about money or whether or not her family would survive a war. im not saying these things have happened to me, but i dont try and act like my “problems” are the most important ones. im really sorry about this if for some reason you decided to read the full thing, and i apologise for sounding like a whiny brat, but i needed to tell someone and this way ill never know who that someone is, or if there is a someone. i wish you the very best, and i hope everything you want to happen will. good night

“Sometimes you just jump and hope it’s not a cliff.” - Casey McQuinston, Red, White, and Royal Blue

#online diary

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cosmicdream222 · 4 months

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personslly i like that these subjects kinda deviate from the norm, id say most ppl my age wouldnt discuss it bc theyre so preoccupied with their personal lives and im on the fence of just not caring for my personal life anymore so subjects like these dont phase me but more so intruige me. yes my chart is 90% water, how about yours? i also tend to find that if ppl are not one sided but narrow minded then theyre really really boring as theyre not open minded enough to discuss such a topic. like i came across some audios to get telekenisis and i want to try it but as its not something we have been taught from a young age

yet these sorts of topics are always always mentioned in fantasy shows (ahem wednesday for example) so its really frustrating when u want to try it but ur uncertain of it as no one else u know would do it so u cant discuss it with them bc they have limited mindset

i started with trying basic subliminals but only getting small handful of results so im wondering if u think theres anything else i can do to kinda test out these subjects? i do think ur right in saying that society has been conditioned to be so limited where ppl who struggle in their daily lives wont know of these subjects and even if they had the info they still wouldnt believe it bc most ppl would take their reality for what it is and sometimes we can get so stuck in negative mindsets due to personal situations there often seems to be no other way out of it and that is what sucks bc its not that fun, like when you think about all the stuff we have to do to get by in life its obscene. yet theres not even an exit button either

Wow 90% water, that’s intense! I’m like 70% fixed signs split between Leo and Scorpio so if anything I have tons of determination and persistence (and stubbornness 😭). I have more fire than water due to some outer planets in Sag, but my Leo sun is in the 12th house and my Scorpio placements are all major (Moon/Mars/Saturn+more). So I’m not really the typical Leo, although I do find myself in leadership/spotlight positions often, I’m a major introvert.

I’ve found that Aquarius, Scorpio, and Pisces placements are more likely to be open to talking about this kinda stuff. Mercury in Aquarius is my fave, they’re so smart with a really interesting viewpoint and love talking about aliens 😂

Subliminals are really fun and there’s one for everything. It’s easy to go down a rabbit hole and try a million different topics but that can also just end up giving you a headache. If you’ve never really used them before, I’d try focusing on one topic exclusively for a week and see how it goes. Maybe a topic like having good luck, unexpected gifts, or positive surprises. Then for a week take note of every surprise gift and fun coincidence you experience to prove to you it’s working.

These are all good ones for that topic:

Fortune; the luckiest! by I want it, I got it

Adventurine Wand- luck, money, success by Enchanted Workshop

Spoiled with gifts, flowers, money by Violet Daze

#astrology #subliminals

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goremet-chef · 11 months

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maybe ill tell my mom im hungry? im so. my entire LIFE i have always always hated asking for things like so much so that i stopped asking for things on my BIRTHDAY because im like. terrified of being seen as selfish? idk its funny cuz parents will like. god forbid i get a treat when im a kid, then all the grown ups in my life look down and call me spoiled as if they didnt give me the treat, and they still think children arent capable of complex thought so they didnt anticipate that id internalize it for the rest of my life but here we are 😁😁

so i just. god i hate asking for things it makes me feel so shitty but i think shes gonna go somewhere anyways? and EVENTUALLY hes going to run out of things to cook so maybe if i ask she'll bring home some food (vent/rant)

that is one thing that always bothers me tho ive got? idk my mom is. shes my mom i guess, currently she treats me very nicely but when her bf was gone for a few years all that anger was directed at me so yknow. i guess shes over it? or she tries to make up for it, but if im not given an apology, i wont forgive or forget even. it was mutual, lots of arguing on the basis of politics at time, but sometimes it was just fucking nothing, to the point where she'd even admit that i didnt deserve that treatment its just. SIGHHHHH im over it at this point im just trying to get out atp yknow? but like

my sibling asks for LOTS of things. and they get all of them. money for computer parts? sure. money for literally any thing? sure. new game? sure

im not bitter about it, as long as my mom can afford it i dont care. but like....... whenever I ask for things, its usually a no

because of my BPD, i take rejection really hard, its the worst pain in the world so i kinda just stopped asking for anything at all to avoid the feeling. then they always are like "ohh what do you want for yr birthday we cant just get you nothing" but i actually DID ask for something on my birthday. i asked for a copy of pokemon black for the ds. it was the only thing ive directly asked for in years, and i didnt get it which is super embarrassing. like whats the point of bothering me about what i want if you dont listen to me when i do? they always get me what they THINK i want and its this really outdated version of me that doesnt even exist anymore, its makes me dissociate knowing thats what they see me as when im just not that anymore. even when i tell them its null

IDK its jsut a whole thing, idk how to feel about it anymore. its to the point where like. my friends take me out sometimes but i mean. they know im broke, they know i have no job, they know i have no income. but im terrified the entire time that theyre gonna like. ask me to pay or something, and i always do my best to just do nothing when we go out cuz i really like. even when they offer to get me things it makes me feel so fucking shitty man i feel like im just leeching off of them even when they offered. even when they tell me they like getting me things it just. it feels so bad. and GOD its embarrassing, when we're walking around stores and all im doing is just following them around because i have like FIVE DOLLARS in my pocket at most. things like that make me want to never leave my house again, it just sucks.

im jealous of them if im honest, because they have jobs and i dont. but i dont think? i genuinely am unsure id ever be able to get a job. im not well adjusted like them, im constantly dissociating, constantly tired, my sibling yesterday, i made a comment about my mom leaving without telling me at all and he was like "well she said she was leaving on the weekend didnt she?" like yes, she did, but i genuinely have no idea what day it is at any given point. all i know is the number, i dont know the day of the week ever.

like im so. fucked, im fucked! totally, even if i managed to get me shit together, relearn the days of the week, set a good sleep schedule, im fucked anyways because i dont know how to be a person at all. an interview sounds fucking terrifying, ESPECIALLY if i dont know the questions theyre going to ask. i do really REALLY poorly with actual human conversation, like its painful. and pretty much everyone around me thinks im kinda creepy or weird in some way, so theyd DEFINITELY be able to tell. i have no resume, i dont even know what that IS. like im so fucked!! i wasnt able to pass highschool, i cant partake in a conversation if i dont somehow have both sides planned perfectly.

little unsure about my odds, gotta be honest

but at the same time like? i keep hearing people say "if you cant work then get disability insurance" am i disabled? everyone around me tells me im just not trying hard enough. they laugh at me when i say i just cant. even if it covers mental illness, i? i dont know. im constantly in denial of things because my family specifically my mom like. a long time ago she told me i just couldnt be autistic, because im "too smart"

?????? it showed me immediately that she has absolutely no fucking idea what shes talking about ever, i bet she couldnt list more than 2 symptoms of autism like genuinely. im not even smart also????? maybe id be a genius, if i could retain information after 5 minutes 💀💀 its complete bullshit man, im just. im at a loss

and then they have the audacity to mock me for not knowing how to be a person in the world, when THEY shouldve taught me. it was THEIR job to help guide me through it, and they didnt. they laugh and roll their eyes and scoff when i tell them oh i dont know how to use a stove, i dont know what food stamps are i dont know how to dress for a job interview ETC

they expect ill know, that i wouldve jsut picked it up over time but surprise! i didnt. i need instruction i need CLEAR instruction and no one will give it to me. its so frustrating man, they suck ass and they just make me feel WORSE about myself. like good fucking god, give me a break

idk im just. exhausted. im tired of just cramming my problems down because the people around me are incapable of seeing me as anything other than a child, and children dont have problems, right? i have no right to complain if my backs constantly hurting, if im too tired to feed myself properly, if i cant leave my house for 2 seconds without feeling the deepest dread. like be so serious bro

i cant wait to fucking move out, but.. how? my friends said its okay if i cant always make enough money from art to pay rent, but no. i dont believe them at all. theyre just being nice to me and i dont even deserve that, i fucking refuse i cant just. im always dead weight, its so frustrating. it frustrates the people around me, too. i feel like such a fucking burden man, its so tiring. if its not things i just dont know how to do, its fear. oh i cant help clean the garage because its crawling with spiders, i cant take out the trash because the trash bins are crawling with spiders. i cant walk down the stairs because i saw a spider on the ground. they fucking hate me man

i know what they see me as, but i have no idea how to convince them that its not me. they think im rude because i dont know how to properly communicate, i say things and its rude to them and i feel bad because i didnt intend to come off that way. everyone thinks im selfish, they think im overdramatic. exaggerating. if they could live in my head for one day, they wouldnt think that anymore

its so exhausting because you dont even get any sort of sympathy from them! just like. awkward pity, and it makes me wish i was never born. never oh im sorry yr feeling that way, do you wanna talk about it? never

they see me as such an obvious burden but they? i dont know! i genuinely cant understand, they think i just have no complex emotions? they think i cant hear it, cant see it? they think i dont feel like a burden when they tell me i am. its so stupid

i cant stand being around anyone, and it just pushes me FURTHER into dissociation. ive got an interesting thing with that. see, typically when yr dissociate with a dissociative disorder like OSDD or DID, that hazy period in time opens up for another alter to front, you dissociate away and get tucked inside yr head. except i get maladaptive daydreams. so im fully dissociated in another world basically but im still physically present. its like i just always take up space thats never meant for me, in every conceivable way. i hate it.

i know, when i finish typing this, ill feel a lot better. which is just embarrassing, bpd fucking sucks. having no emotional permanence is EMBARRASSING when im over here crying on my knees about my problems and then the second i get it out i feel completely fine. it just makes me invalidate my very real emotions even further and its so.

im just. whatever.

just spit it out and stop looking that way

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gavinsmg24 · 1 year

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I’m going to skim respond bcuz there was a lot but really it’s just me responding but I may not hit every thing. Anyways! I read everything and I’ll try to respond as I scroll thru what you said. Mainly to start. Yoh talked about what happened recently. Where you cleaned bong and he got upset even tho you did it bcuz you were waiting. How can everything be a problem. Lkke you said. All he had to do if he truly wanted your company was find you and say join me babe. But instead he’s like. You should’ve already been here? Like what’s uo his ass. I dont get treating people short and rude all the time. It’s exactly what you don’t deserve. Hmph. Like your right someone saying something shouldn’t affect your whole day. But when your already a depressed person and your partner is giving you little care or thought then it makes sense how you feel! Maybe you should be less sensitive? But no he needs to be like 2x more thoughtful about emotions. I mean! Whether he thinks it’s dumb or not he’s your partner. Either adapt or work with it. Don’t just get mad or cause problems for no reason. He makes it seem like you cause problems. But really he’s causing problems but it’s not problems to him bcuz it’s not affecting him it affects you. So when you (as a healthy relationship should be) try to talk to him and he’s like. This shouldn’t be a problem that’s fucked!

And it’s like gifts aren’t required but I’m sure you wouldn’t be saying that If he complimented or made time to hang out. Like. Since you moved with him. He should be trying to take you out with his friends or coworkers. Not really but like. For me. Even if the boys didn’t want to hang. I’d try to at least have us all do stuff every once and a while idk. Like it shouldn’t be that way but it’s real life sims! We like interaction and groups!

And yeah that’s what sucks. When people barely congratulate but always judge harshly when things are wrong. That is frustrating grr. I hope you find another job soon princess. Maybe one that’s from home again or a job that’s easily transferable? I just mean that for a worst. Case. If you ever wanted to go elseware that way you’d at least have a job. Anyways. That’s hypothetical and far away. I just want you to have your own cushions to fall back onto if you ever need to.

I just.. I hate how manipulative and toxic masculinity sounding he is.. Im sorry I know I shouldnt say but like. Barely talking to you or secluding self. Like. Alone time is one thing but like cmon! Live in same house interact! I know you do but just off of what you say. Like. Talk when you have nothing to say?! That’s small talk! To fill silence and he says he doesn’t have anything to say? Then shut uo and listen to your rambles! I’d listen to gibberish rather than silence tf. Grr I’m sorry getting riled trying not to.

Why does it matter where you watch stuff! Like if he wasn’t using office who cares! You say he eats fruit and watches YouTube alone. Why can’t you! If he’s not gonna make you smile fuck off! Rawr!

Princess this is the thing I’ve wanted you to always understand and I’m saying this bcuz you said “am I crazy” no! Your not. Everything you’ve written and shared. If any unbiased parted read this would feel the same (someone with our care and morals) like it’s almost your bday and he’s still treating you normal. Like no one’s needs a birth week but cmon. Like oooh babyyyy almost bday. Any things you wanna do? Plans? Maybe he’ll surprise you but idk. You could tell yourself it’s selfish to want gifts but it’s not. It doesn’t have to be a diamond ring. I’d get you those lil toys we used to get (not really but getting that over nothing or something with no thought is different than just getting something expensive. I wish I could go to the mall with you. Give you a price limit and spoil you for a day. Or ask for ideas and wrap them and wake you with breakfast n gifts

Like. Obviously we dated early and younger. And our living arrangements were all over the place. But I just can’t believe how much home work you do. Like. Old timey woman cooks n cleans and he still finds ways to get upset. Grr. If I came home and didn’t have to worry about cleaning I’d be so at peace. Like living with me n 2 bois! Always dishes and I’m doing them the most! (I use the most but still! They use stuff too!)

And back to the locked door and tasks. Like. Cmon. Your partners. No one should be. Punishing anyone. Your not dealing with kids. You talk out problems. Not yell or put down. Yelling happens. But this isn’t normal arguments. This is mind games and lack of care. Not really.. I should stop. I dont want to sway your mind. I’m just responding to what you say. I want you to know your thoughts are valid. Not crazy. Your smart and kind. But to get this to the end. Like what! He forgets his own tasks so it’s like oh you could’ve forgot that. Or if you forgot then he’d notice. Punk 😤 hypocrite. Narcissist, more. Rawr!

Anyways this responds to the longer cont. 1 n 2 next will be most recent. You’re strong and brave. I hope you can find a path that leads you to fun and relaxation soon

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