#I hate whom I used to be

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[thottybrucewayne]

I think what I want to get into with the "Anyone can do harm." thing that I keep beating yall over the head with is that literally anyone, anyone at all can do harm it's not "in your DNA" to be an abuser or written in the stars that you'll be a predator. Whatever image you have of an abuser in your head, drop it and replace it with your favorite person in the world and you'll probably be closer to the truth than you realize. It's easy to address harm when it's coming from someone you already hate. I see it happen all the time. Someone you couldn't stand for no real reason does something heinous then all of a sudden here comes the avalanche of "I always knew they were a fucked up individual." No, you didn't. There is no possible way you could have known, you just already didn't fuck with them before they started doing something you could use to justify your hatred of them. I'm guilty of it too! I'm petty, mean, vindictive, and yes! I'm way quicker to believe something bad about someone I hate versus someone I love because I'm human. Still, y all gotta learn to move past that initial "Well, they were always nice to me!" gut feeling and understand that nobody truly knows anyone and anyone can be capable of anything. Even victims. Even you.

#thotty speaks #thotty rants #I was thinking about that Christine chan post and its like yeah yall really don't know how bad it got for her before she did what she did #It reminded me of that thing on tiktok where people take 'cringy' cosplayers videos (most of whom are literal children) and put racist or #bigoted text over it then reupload it to call them out then the og creator gets a flood of harassment mostly from people who hated them for #the crime of being weird on the internet but now they can use 'oh but they're a bigot!' as an excuse to tear them down until they come out #and say 'hey i didn't say this someone stole my shit' and nobody takes their vids down nor apologizes because they didn't fuck with them #anyway so wash rinse repeat #idk I just wish that people had the same smoke for people they actually like #mostly cause I'm tired of being accused of 'switching up' every time I cut people off or stop fuckin with an artist #like this is what we should be doing!!!! ACG ANYBODY CAN GET IT! #It should be smoke for ANYONE who does harm every your fave people! #otherwise you create this world where taking people to task for the harm they've done is less about the harm #and more about justifying our own actions #anyway keep that same energy across the board that's all I'm saying #cause if it comes out tomorrow that somebody close to me did some fucked up shit I'm out of there period #aint no talkin bout shit and that's on me growing up as a child told that certain grown folks can't be alone with me #but they allowed in my house... #Idk about yall but i'm ending that generational curse with me

[wizardlyghost]

i'm very tired and a little pretentious so here have some thoughts about the secret life of walter mitty:

in the book, walter mitty is a guy who indulges in escapist fantasies to get away from his dissatisfaction with his life. from what i can remember, it's mostly a series of vignettes of the events taking place in his imagination, strung together with the depressingly boring events actually happening to him. ultimately, nothing really changes for him, and presumably this is just a relatively typical day of his existence.

in the 1947 movie, walter mitty is also a guy who indulges in escapist fantasies to get away from his dissatisfaction with his life. this time, however, he accidentally gets caught up in a real life caper, and the lines between his daydreams and his reality blur. in the end, he finds the confidence to solve the problems that have been driving him to escapism - he finally stands up for himself in front of his jerk boss and his overbearing mother and fiancee, becomes the hero, gets the girl, lives happily ever after, the end.

in the 2013 movie, walter mitty is, once again, a guy who indulges in escapist fantasies to get away from his dissatisfaction with his life. there's a big difference in this walter's circumstance, though. we encounter walter i on a day that could presumably be any day of his life; walter ii, similarly, at least starts off in the humdrum of his normal routine.

walter iii begins his story on the day his world starts to implode.

his workplace is shifting to a new format that leaves his niche skillset obsolete; his mother is moving into a retirement home that he can no longer be certain that he can afford; he's coming to the realisation that he has spent the majority of his adult life being small, and responsible, and cautious, and now due to circumstances beyond his control none of it matters. and at the end of the movie, his problems aren't really solved in the way we might want them to be. he and the vast majority of his coworkers are fired; the respected publication they worked for is hollowed out and turned into a website; he has to sell the piano that he's been holding onto as a memento of his father. there is no saving the way things were.

walter i endures his problems; walter ii fights them and wins; but walter iii? his problems are too big for him to fight, too destructive to endure, so what else is there to do but run?

faced with the certainty of everything he's built for himself dissolving, he takes the leap, because if the worst is already going to happen to him, what more does he have to lose? if life as he knows it is ending, why not become the kind of person he's spent his life wishing he could be?

and really, isn't the idea of doing that the ultimate escapist fantasy?

#brought to mind by me remembering how my sibling and i hold the 2013 movie as being very important to us #while our grandma hates the 2013 one but loves the 1947 one #i feel like there's maybe a generational factor to the difference in which version appeals to whom maybe #but idk i'm just typing words at this point #the secret life of walter mitty

[drag0nalias0]

Finally about to watch Nimona!!!!!

#I use my mums netflix but it hasnt been working recently due to it npt being connected to the internet. We had a brief powercut a while #Ago so that may be why #And ive been waiting for them to leave the house for a few hours as i dont like watching movies with other people sometimes #Im fine with disney movies usually but other stuff is usually a no #I just mainly dont want to watch it with her and her boyfriend (gods i *hate hate HATE* that man) and her boyfriends daughter (whom i also #dont like) #Im fine with my sister but the rest is a no. Id also not watch it with my dad either #I would have watched it round his as he had my half brothers netflix on his tv but now the netflix doesnt work #Either my brother got rid of his or it was the netflix rule about only one household being able to use the netflix that kicked us off #Anyway imma watch it now. With my late lunch #Nimona

[gideonisms]

See we all want dios apate to be no children by the mountain go*ts but the fact is that even though on all other levels they are going down with each other hand in unloveable hand they DID create a child. One children

#hghjkll i'm once again thinking about the fic? where she says if either of you got me pregnant i would terminate with force #did she say that in canon? it has to be a fic right. i honestly can't remember #it was so funny i've been thinking about it ever since #she said no children (except that one time!) #the whole thing with wake too. it's so tragic on gideon's side having a mother who saw her as a thing not a person but on wake's side #it's just like yeah of course she hated the whole thing! she's also in her own no children by the mountain go*ts situation #take 6 people only one of whom should ever have a child & use the two who under no circumstances ever should to actually. produce the kid #one children

[faeriescorpio]

the french demons taking over my body when i read tf2 fics where someone very clearly used google translate when they wanted Spy to speak french (i am visibly shaking and twitching)

#i dont want to correct the fic.... but the parasites in me want to correct the fic #i dont want to read french i dont do that.... but the parasite- but the DEMON in me wants to read the french #i. like scout. have a french father with whom my relationship is strained #i dont speak french but ive got a decent grasp on reading and writing bc he tried to teach me french but I HATED IT #i should write a fic like that lol. scout sees someone make a charcuterie board but they use like. salami and lunch sliced cheese and start #shaking and going 'nonononono youre doing it WRONG. where is the saucisson ou est la brie' #tf2 #you dont understand i saw a fic where Spy said 'they will suffer' except they mixed up ont/sont/vont and i was shaking #me when people use verbs and dont even try to conjugate them they just leave the er at the end of the verb #me when i mispronounce a french word: haha eat shit frenchy #me when someone else mispronounces french: eyes locked on target like a predator. adhd movements stilled in preparation of attack

[ecstaticasusual]

It used to be us against the world. 

#hypnosis mic #honobono keitoin #rei amayado #hnbn is the character whom I like because others hate her #imo she doesnt like rei romantically #but thought they were on the same boat #as in being useful to the PoW while despising them #they could be miserable together #same for ramuda #then they left and made friends in their respecitve division #she feels betrayed #hope the narrative does her justice #my shit #fanart

[noraephronsmother]

rent free

#the last of us #joel x tess #pedro pascal #whom i hate #anna torv #who i love #girlboss #he’s a babyman #and she’s a dyke #hope that helps

[bigothteddies]

I *am* going to cause problems for myself at this job by spreading a countless amount of fibs over my relationship status

#unimportant thoughts #its none of your business ! #one person I told I have a partner #one person I told i went through a long term relationship ending last year #one person i told i had a hot date last friday after work and thats why i needed to leave early (i didnt) #that person told another person whom decide to give me a pep talk on how to get and keep women #and now thinks that I am single and mingling out there #(he was interested in knowing if it was a ‘new girl’ or an ‘old girl’ i went on the date with #(i told him new and then sat through him telling me how to be confident with women in order to keep their attention) #anyways this is fun and will surely have no consquenes on my life whatsoever :p #cant wait to take meatz to the company party in 6 months :p #genuinely hate people irl knowing ny relationships though like its none of your business #I know uou wont understand and I know if you find out im dating someone youll start assigning us monog traits #which feels so gross #and i csnt be bothered explaining polyamory to people its not my job to make them okay with that

[elephantbitterhead]

Having finally been driven to blacklisting content, I'd like to take this moment to say that no annoying/overexposed/boring/formulaic/etc. musician will ever be as irritating to me as their fans and their haters are.

#let us all shut up more often & more vigorously #especially about the artistic virtues & vices of strangers whose lives affect us not at all #amen #just go about your business in peace #also why is this something that happens to me so often #so many musicians I could do without attract the most devoted evangelists #for example #perhaps I could have learned to like Nick Cave #but I will never know because too many Cave-ites were constantly trying to ram him into my ears at every turn #and eventually I rebelled on principle because so many annoying people were trying to make me do the same thing #there are very few people with whom I want to have in-depth conversations about music #as someone who does not press music upon others #I don't understand this behavior #if you like the music I am playing #presumably you will ask about it #if you hate it #I assume you'll let me know #that's good enough for me #also if you hate the music I'm playing & say so #I will not start crying about how the music is actually great & the musician is secretly the messiah #I will play something else that we can both enjoy #I am OK with you not liking my music #I can blast it for myself when you are not around

[sluckythewizard]

SHHH SH HEYYY HEY DONT TELL ANYONE BUT... ive been workin on smth since BITB came out..... itsa lil musical animatic involvin kian and becky.... ITS NO WHERE NEAR DONE YET but loooook look im puttin lil screenshots under the cut. its supposed to go along with Am I In Heaven? by King Gizzard n the Lizard Wizard. infact yknow what cmere come sit with be bc ALOT of songs from the 'IM IN YOUR MIND FUZZ' album makes me think about becky and kian. oh my god. those two make me so damn emotional. like Her and I was the first one to rly resonate with me, and EMPTY was another good one, all just stuff about. yknow LOVE!! doomed by the narrative yet burning SO SO brightly in its last moments, holding hands, playing music, THEY WERE SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT THE COPY OF THEM LOVED YOU, AND YOUR COPY LOVES THEM TOO. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, CRUMBLING, BURNING, HISSING, SQUIRMING, MELTING, CLICKING LOVE STORY..

GET OVER HERE N SCREAM WITH MEEE I LOVE SCREAMING ABOUT THINGS

#THIS IS A DRAFT that i made like. months ago. woopsie. #BUT IM CHIPPING AWAY AT IT AGAIN. IT CANT STAY UNFINISHED FOREVER. ONE DAY YOU WILL ALL SEE! YOULL ALL SSSEEEE!!!!!!! #no reblogs either this stays between US!!!!!!!!!! #and if you guys like it enough i might post an old fuckin wip i have all packaged together on youtube. its a VIDEO it goes w the MUSIC!! #SOUND WITH THE MOVING IMAGE?? IVE ONLY EVER DONE IT ONCE!!! #ill post the Lord of Lightning animatic i made on tumblr when i get the chance. in the meantime i ahve it posted on twitter. GO FETCH #but THIS SECOND ONE is out there.. all synced together.. #but its a wip and its rough and old and scuffed and i HATE IT. my son whom i wish was dead #but you can see it. for the small small price of uh. begging. #also ouuhh my god i love becky and kian so much... they make me so emotional.. SOMETHING ABT DOOMED SHIPS... #even as the boat sinks these two clung together so tightly. they really really did love eachother so much. even after ten years of ROTTING #of sitting and waiting and wondering 'where is she?' is she lost? hurt? did something happen? is she okay? did she even want to be here? #does she hate me? did she leave because she hated me? she never wanted to see me again? where is she? where is she? guess ill write a song #FOR TEN YEARS. when i was just busy. i was distracted. so much came up. things got serious. my dream became clear and i had to chase it #i didnt know you were waiting. im sorry. i should have chased the thought of you more. but i was busy. i was just busy. #i wish that i could apologize with the throat that was my own. i hope this copy will suffice. i hope this copy will suffice. UGH

[sucharide]

also I know some people seem to struggle with this but I do this thing on this webbedsite where if I enjoy a post, I reblog it. I know it's weird for some folks, but it's actually so easy and I thought I would make a walkthrough for those people who are having trouble figuring out how to!!!!

When you are scrolling down the dashboard, you will encounter posts. These are images, pictures, videos or audios that have, in fact, most often been reblogged by the people you follow! Most of the posts you see, you only see because other people have reblogged them!

Now, when you see a post you like, here is what you must do in order to make sure the post you enjoy can be seen by other people who may enjoy the post:

Scroll to the bottom of the post. At the bottom, you will find these symbols.

2. Click this button

3. This will open a pop up on your screen. At the bottom of the pop up, click this button

And that's all! You just reblogged a post! Congratulations!

#It seems like some people really struggle with this so i thought I would make a handy guide #:) #roach rambles #it is just SO wild to me that people will LIKE SOMETHING that someone has put their heart and soul into creating #but they won't reblog it to share with their followers? #what the fuck? #This website runs on reblogs...? #idk goddamn #people don't reblog like they used to and it sucks. share art and writing and posts you enjoy #jfc #this is the reblog website #I hate seeing 40 likes and 2 reblogs on someone's fanart/fic #bc 40 people??? could have shared that with their friends and that artist/writer could have reached someone #for whom their creation really resonated???????? #like #idk . this is the reblog website. #how much more plainly can I put it.

[gurorori]

i don't know, people can be trans in whatever way they wish and feel comfortable with, i just wish the people on the lower end of Actually Putting Work and Visible Effort Into It and Actually Experiencing Transphobia/Transmisogyny didn't feel like they automatically get a free pass to claim the same things we go through. if you do not share the experience of the vast majority of trans people, maybe you do not get to talk about it, or reclaim any part of it ����

#and i am not just talking about any kind of transition or hormones. just you know #for most trans people it just doesn't end on making a tiktok about being a fem afab nb and putting she/they in yr bio. you're free to do all #that but don't insert yourself into places you just really don't belong in? #i will never invalidate other trans people and i never have simply based on dysphoria or their stance on transition and i get that for nb #ppl it can be a little trickier on what steps they wanna take #however i don't think it's a crazy take that trans people who largely don't Plan to transition in any meaningful noticeable way or/and #experience any sort of dysphoria or discomfort or incongruence with their assigned gender and body are... the LAST demographic that should #represent the trans community as a whole or have a say in things that people whom all those things actually concern #cuz they're not passing bills to ban your pronouns. they're not outlawing fem afab nb bodies. they're illegalising transition on every step #of its way and they're calling US mutilated monsters and gr**mers #i genuinely don't want to come off wrong in here. i have never been transmed/truscum or anything of the sort in fact i was there in their #prime and i hated it! i just think this is a no-brainer. your experience is uh. fine. it just doesn't align with uh... most trans people to #whom these things are a matter of life or death actually so please sit down...

[former-leftist-jew]

"Christa... I felt the same. That it would have been better if I was never born at all. The world hated me just for existing. To give countless joy to many people, I gave up my life. But - when I did, I wished from the bottom of my heart. If someday I was given a second chance at life... This time. I would live for no one but myself!"

Ymir (left), convincing her beloved Cyrsta (right) to stop lowkey throwing herself into suicide missions to please the society that openly wish she'd never been born... because Ymir has spent her whole life hating herself for being Jewish "Aldean."

I'll admit, when I first saw this scene in Attack on Titan, I cried for like an hour, and had to process it for like a day. This show understands what it's like to go from a self-hating Jew trying to "pass" as goy, to learning to love yourself and live for those you love, despite the people who want you dead, better than most media I could name.

#attack on titan #ymir x christa #ymir x historia #ymir #i avoided attack on titan for YEARS #because i'd heard it was antisemetic #then the same leftists who called it antisemetic #cheered on the people yelling 'gas the jews' 'fuck the jews' #so i decided “fuck it” #“I'll watch this series myself and make up my own mind” #i will say this #watching this series after oct 7 #hit much different than if i'd watched it before #so much of the historic fantasy antisemitism and racism it discusses is what irl jews are going through RIGHT NOW #the world openly hating and reviling us #blaming us for the sins of our ancestors #blaming us for the actions of a gov't we're not part of and can't control #holding us responsible for the actions of random jews we've NEVER MET and whom we have no control over #holding us all personally responsible for every bad thing one of our people has ever done #meanwhile excusing every act of aggression against us as justified #and condemning every act of self-defense for ourselves as inexcuseable

[fluffypotatey]

also. azure lion

to be specific, the phishing emails would pertain to swk and they would be about how to woo and crush your ex-friend/monkey whom you used as a weapon

#i actually don’t hate azure #i just also don’t love him BUT i do like how he works in the narrative and wish we got more of him #also bullying him is fun #i would hunt this guy for sport (affectionate) #unlike peng whom i would hunt for sport (derogatory) #tbh i think azure unknowingly used swk more than he thought #what i mean is that azure idolized SWK’s power and kingship to his monkeys and thought it would benefit his plans #the friendship came after that #and yeah they were good friends (but I don’t think they were super close but out of the brotherhood (sans macky) they were close) #like here’s my process of azure’s side of the friendship: #what a powerful monkey -> AND he treats his ppl kindly??? -> we could use someone like that -> we could use HIM -> #-> this is my bestie -> this guy could be my king -> this guy betrayed our trust and surrendered -> why is on THEIR side??? #course this is my interpretation but yeah #uh didn’t mean to ramble but there you go #lmk #lmk azure lion #asks #blorbo bingo

[fractalkiss]

the jumpscare i still get seeing vaguely familiar names from other places who get reblogged onto the dash is still so funny like. i've seen u before. u used to write kpop boy group fic for 13 men

#most of them mutuals-in-laws from twt #whom i have never spoken to myself but have seen their handles floating around the fandom lol #idk if ppl generally hate the influx of new f1 rpf fans who used to write for kpop but. #these two things are in the venn diagram of performance and narrative #and something else. i forget what. #capitalism i guess