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spaghettiposts · 6 months

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Unspoken Truths

Summery: You and Wanda have been friends for years, but never once has she showed up at your doorstep in this state. Pregnant, alone, and hurt. You take her in and you both dive into the difficulties of pregnancy, and hiding feelings.

Warnings: Pregnancy, Dickhead Vision, Friends to lovers, Attempts at comedy, Reader being a sweetheart like always, Mutual Pinning, Faint talks of Abortion, talks of nausea and vomiting.

Words: 4k

There was a knock at the door. Which was weird since it was- what time was it?

Your arm reached for your phone resting on the bedside table. 2:04 am. Your brows furrowed in confusion, feeling discomfort. Who would be knocking at your door at 2 in the morning? Wiping your eyes you rose to your feet, questioning if this was really worth getting up for.

Slowly you found your courage, and a baseball bat in your hands. You stumbled through the hallway, trying to wake yourself up to face the potential threat at your door. You felt like you were walking right into a classic horror scene, was it Ghostface maybe? Nah he’d call, you think.

Through the peephole you saw the last person you’d ever expect at this ungodly hour.

“Wanda?” You yawned, hand still on the door. “It’s 2 in the morn- Woah.” You grunted in surprise as her arms wrapped around your waist, instinctively you wrapped your arms around her too. Your surprise quickly shifted into concern at her small sniffles, the brunette tightly gripping at your shirt. “Wanda? What’s wrong?”

The girl in your arms said nothing, merely shaking her head against your shirt. You took that as your cue to close the door behind you, leading Wanda inside. Not once did you separate from her, allowing her to cling onto you. Despite the circumstances you couldn’t help the blush from rising.

Unfortunately you don’t dwell on how nice it feels to be hugging Wanda, not now, not when she’s still crying. Removing an arm around her, you place it on the small of her back. “Why don’t we go sit on the couch?”

It’s then that Wanda realizes her current position, she takes a shuddering breath, agreeing with a nod of her head. You ignore the flutter in your chest from the way her grip tightened on your forearm as you lead the way.

When you sit on the couch Wanda follows suit, sitting a safe distance away from you. You figure she’s composing her thoughts from the way she plays with the rings on her fingers.

Without thinking you reach for her hand, missing the way her breath hitches from the contact. “What’s wrong Wanda? You can tell me.”

The brunette looks up at you through tearful eyes, she only feels herself tear up further by the look you give her. An adoring look, a soft comforting smile. It hurts to look at, it hurts even more when your eyebrows furrow.

“You don’t have to talk about it if it’s bothering you so much…” You add, she’s quick to wipe her eyes and take a deep breath.

“Y/n, I’m pregnant.” She sighs out, feeling some relief. She cringes at the way your eyes widen in surprise. Now you were certainly awake.

Out of all the things Wanda would say, that was certainly not one you would’ve predicted. Pregnant. Of course you could see Wanda being a mom but you recalled her mentioning how she’d like to finish college first.

Clearly…that didn’t happen.

“I just found out.” Wanda let out one of many sighs to come, rubbing her swollen eyes with her hoodie sleeves. She leaned back on the couch, giving you a forced smile.

You remained flabbergasted. Pregnant.

Wanda was pregnant. And came to you. For comfort? Advice? A secret revelation that your love for her was strong enough to get her pregnant? That last one was still part of your sleepy brain talking.

You had many questions, the most important one was where was the father? You assumed Vision was the father, at least. Even if part of you didn’t like that idea so much.

Taking in consideration how the brunette arrived at your house, with red bloodshot eyes, and tear stains on her cheeks from crying so much. You worded your next question carefully. “I’m assuming it’s bad?”

A watery laugh escapes her lips, she shakes her head in disbelief. “Bad is an understatement.” And although she’s laughing, her eyes continue to water until she’s tired of pretending everything’s going okay. Her crying turns to sobs, leaning against you for support again. This time you don’t disconnect, letting her rest her weight on you.

You stare up at the ceiling, Wanda laying on your chest having fallen fast asleep. The couch is comfortable enough to make you feel better, but not enough to silence your worries for the woman on top of you. Unsure of what to think you simply conclude it’s best if you don’t, not right now.

Letting out a deep breath, you close your eyes, tightening your arms around the girl.

Tomorrow, tomorrow you could talk about it.

/-/

It was tomorrow, and you were dreading talking about it. It’s not even yours, chill out, you reminded yourself. First thing you woke up to was an empty couch, with just you laying on it. Where was Wanda? Rubbing your eyes to wake up fully you noticed the small sticky note on your arm.

Turning it around revealed Wanda’s whereabouts.

I wanted to make you breakfast, so I went to the market. Your pantry sucks ♥️

Okay, breakfast. You loved Wanda’s meals, you figured the least you could do was clean up the kitchen for her. Forcing yourself to get up you threw your arms over your head, letting your back pop. Looking towards the kitchen in all honesty it didn’t look too bad.

Just some pots that needed to be cleaned, remove the grease. A bag of flour on the counter…you didn’t quite remember why and how that was there. And a sock on the stovetop, you held it up in disgust. When did that get there?

Feeling embarrassed for yourself, you got to work. Quickly. Socks were placed in the hamper. Flour, back in the pantry in its designated compartment. Then you dropped some flour, falling all over yourself and the items around you.

“Great…” you muttered, eying all the powder on the floor.

Sweeping it is.

Aside from the mess, and making more of a mess things went quite smoothly. You were satisfied with your work, the kitchen looked like a kitchen again. However pots still remained, making quick work of them you rinsed them off.

Not noticing how the front door opened and a certain brunette looked your way. She smiled fondly at the small cusses you let out, shaking your hand from the hot water. Carefully she placed down all the grocery bags, a little louder than she intended.

“Oh shit!” You gasped, dropping the pot. “Wanda! You scared me.” You chuckled, turning off the tap, you could finish washing that later.

“You bought a lot…” You pointed out, drying your hands. Six paper bags were on the table, you were very glad you took time to clean it.

Wanda snorted, unloading the frozen products from one bag. “Y/n you didn’t even have tomatoes. Absolutely no produce.”

You rolled your eyes. You never cooked much, tomatoes would’ve gone bad under your care. Wanda on the other hand lived for cooking. A perfect balance in your opinion, she could cook, and you could taste. You walked over, taking the frozen foods from her hands to put them away, ignoring the pointed look.

She muttered something about your organizational skills—lack of. Probably a complaint.

“How much was it?” You asked from the freezer.

Does cheese go in there?

“It’s on me.” She shrugged, opening the onions and placing them in the basket. Her nose crinkled watching you attempt to be useful, gently her fingers wrapped around your wrist, taking the cheese away and putting it in the fridge.

You let out a shaky exhale from the contact, watching her walk away. Shaking off the feeling you remember her words, scrunching your face. “No Wanda, how much?” Pulling out your wallet you handed her $120 “Here.”

Wanda laughed, pushing your hand away “No. It’s on me. For last night.”

“Seriously?” You scoffed not believing it, waving the money at her. If she wouldn’t take it you knew you’d have to put it in her purse when she wasn’t looking. Like usual. “Well at least let me cook if you’re not gonna take it.”

“I said I was making breakfast!” She whined. Cute.

You pouted at your friend, stuffing your hands in your pockets. “Yeah but I want to do something…”

Wanda smiled, placing a hand on your forearm. “You’ve done enough for me.” She said, leaning up to place a small peck on your cheek. “Thank you Y/n.”

Your breath caught in your throat, knowing you didn’t win this battle. Of course not, she cheated, but she didn’t know that. She’s with Vision, having no clue of the effects she has on you. You still felt hot on the inside, and were probably blushing on the outside too.

Damnit Y/n pull it together, she’s pregnant and needs your support. Not your gayness.

Once everything was put away, mainly Wanda doing the work and correcting whatever you did wrong. She pushed you down on the chair, telling you to sit while she cooked. Then you could talk, talk.

Right, the talk.

Fuck.

You wondered why you were still so nervous. Around Wanda? Well that one was given. But a pregnant Wanda? That felt…odd. Nevertheless you gave her, her space not wanting to overwhelm the pregnant person.

She didn’t look pregnant…obviously. She just found out…hasn't even been a month. God was it hot in this room? Or were you just sweating? Nervous.

“It is Visions.” You turned your head to look at Wanda. She spoke calmly with a tense figure. She flipped the bacon, turning her eyes to you. “And- You know I didn’t want…kids right now but things happen. We’ve talked about it before and Vision said he’d love that.”

You tilted your head, knowing there was more to it.

She let out a shaky breath “After college, he's still building his business a-and he said he doesn’t have time to raise a family. He wants nothing to do with them but I-“

“Abortion isn’t…?”

“No.” She said firmly, turning off the stove, using her sleeves to wipe her blurred eyes. “Your bacon might be a little salty by the way.” She smiled sadly, handing you a plate with two pancakes.

Seeing past the smile, you squeezed her arm in understanding, grabbing the plate from her hands. She sat down across from you, eating from her own plate giving you the opportunity to do the same.

“These are great Wands.” You mumbled after swallowing your food, wiping your mouth. “You’d be a good mom.” Digging your fork into the pancakes for more. They were truly delicious, you don’t think you’d ever get used to how spectacular she made them.

Wanda gave you a scrunched look, a sheepish smile on her lips. “You’re just saying that.” She shrugged it off, ignoring the way it made her feel.

“I'm not though. You’re kind, patient, compassionate, giving, and understanding. Aren't those motherly qualities?” You teased, though your tone remained reassuring.

Still Wanda remained in disbelief, shaking her head lightly letting out a breathy laugh “I’m just not sure where to go from here. I’m keeping them.” She stared at you, seriously, as if you would try to change her mind.

“But that’s all I know.” She rubbed her head with her hands, feeling frustrated. She had no plan.

You reached over for Wanda’s hand, rubbing soft circles with your thumb. “It’s okay, we can figure it out together.”

Her mouth curved into a smile, looking at both of your hands. Together, that was a nice word. Then she took in what you said, her head tilting to the side. “We?”

Wanda’s smile turned into a teasing one, as you stammered over your words, tensing your hand from their ministrations. “Well yeah I mean since Vision isn’t really in the picture and you shared the apartment with him I’m assuming- offering if you wanted to stay with me.” You bit the inside of your cheek.

Smooth.

“It was just a thought I had…” You finished, feeling intimidated by her gaze. Your heart pounded against your chest, waiting for her answer. You had basically just proposed she move in with you, with a kid. Like couples do. With a kid.

The more you thought about it the more you wanted her to say yes. You wanted to care for her, god knows she needed it. An idea came into your head about rearranging the guest bedroom into Wanda’s, only if she said yes- god we’re getting ahead of ourselves what if she says n-

“Yes.” She blurted, squeezing your hand in excitement, a little harder than intended.

“Wait- yes?”

“Yes! Oh my god yes,” She practically squealed, standing up from her seat to pace. “I mean I was also thinking about where I’d go…I’m not ready to tell my parents, you know how they feel about pregnancy before marriage, and Pietro already knows but he’s barely thriving.” She gestured with her hands, clasping them together and looking at you expectantly.

You nodded, growing even more excited with her. “Then it’s settled, you’ll stay here.” You beamed up at the brunette. She was quick to pull you out of your chair with a toothy grin, pulling you into a hug.

You both sighed at the contact, holding each other tighter.

“Thank you, again.” She mumbled, nuzzling further into your neck. You could only smile, what else could you do? This girl was amazing, you squeezed her back in response.

“It’s no problem, I’d love having you here. And the kid, or kids? Wouldn’t it be crazy if you had twins- worse triplets.” You mumbled to yourself, Wanda giggled.

Maybe Wanda would need help moving in. Getting her stuff, avoiding Vision. You thought to yourself about skipping work for the day- maybe a week. The guest bedroom had the essentials, but not anything baby related…

As you continued rambling on about the move, Wanda sighed, tugging you closer with a loving smile on her face. Then it dawned on her, was she in love with her best friend? Her eyes widened at the realization, trying to bury her panic and listen to your voice instead.

You raised a hand to your chin, not noticing how tense she had become. “I think I could skip work today and go to the hardware store. We might need a crib, the guest bedroom is yours but the baby gosh it needs its space too-“

/-/

The move had gone smoothly, a little too smoothly. Wanda insisted you stay outside the door to Visions apartment while she took care of things. Reluctantly you agreed standing outside waiting, only coming in when Wanda signaled for you to come in.

His apartment was quite nice, you could see why Wanda liked it so much. Unsurprisingly his home was decorated with small luxuries, perks of being a Stark.

Boxes after boxes went by packed, you insisted Wanda do the lighter loads, not wanting her to hurt her back. And before noon all of Wanda’s stuff was ready to go, no Vision in sight. He must’ve been busy today, Wanda only muttering something about his Chess club.

Not wanting to stay any longer you packed up the truck, heading to your place. So in short, yes, everything was going great. Wanda made herself an even more important figure in your life, you didn’t think that was possible. Although she had a way of proving you wrong.

She fell quickly into your daily routine, and so easily too. Every morning she’d make you coffee for work, and when she was feeling sick you made her breakfast in return. Wanda had been getting sick a lot more than usual, you assumed it was morning sickness. If only you had realized sooner how bad it had gotten.

Wanda could not sleep.

There were days when she’d have nightmares as a kid that prevented her from sleeping, often nightmares of a bomb being dropped on her house. Nights waiting up for Vision where she couldn’t sleep in hopes he’d return soon. Many times in her life Wanda found it difficult to sleep, this time the horrors of pregnancy guiding her to insomnia.

Until she felt that familiar feeling again, nausea. Quickly she threw the covers off herself, booking it towards the bathroom. Wanda was so grateful your guest bedroom had a bathroom connected to it, it had given her more privacy and spared her the embarrassment.

Her fingertips barely grazed on the door to close it before she was kneeling on the floor by the toilet, emptying the compartments in her stomach.

Hunched over on the toilet she didn’t realize how much time had passed, time passed slowly for her during this part. All she remembered was the door creaking a little and her hair being collected into a ponytail.

Wanda swore she could hear your voice, she preferred to focus on how nice your hand felt rubbing on her back, how soothing it felt. Your touch brought her back, wiping the side of her lips she turned to meet your concerned eyes.

Only turning more concerned by the look of exhaustion Wanda held. Words weren’t necessary to communicate where Wanda would be staying that night, or any other nights. Really, as Wanda was pulled up to her feet, and guided to your bedroom she found herself unwilling to care. You kissed her forehead so tenderly whispering goodnight that made Wanda realize it wasn’t so bad.

Sleeping in your arms was worth a little sickness.

/-/

“Twins.” You heard Wanda mutter from beside, laying on the bed. You couldn’t quite decipher her tone, but her squeeze on your hand made you feel uneasy. Not wanting to overwhelm her, you decided to keep silent, biting the inside of your cheek.

Weeks had flown by pretty fast, Wanda being on her 15th. Poor girl was already feeling the pain of carrying not one but two kids in her stomach. She’d often ask you to hold her stomach which you easily complied too.

The doctor turned in his chair, away from the monitor looking at you both with a grin. “Yep! Looks like two healthy babies, would you like to know the gender?” He asked.

Your eyes glanced at Wanda, her face indifferent. Thankfully you caught the slight quiver of her lips letting you know all you needed to.

“Uh no. Thank you Doctor Stephen but I think” She squeezed your hand again. “…we’re fine for now.” You mustered up a polite smile.

He nodded his head, mirroring the same smile “Of course! I’ll just go put this in your file and clean things up then you’re good to go.” He tossed his gloves in the bin, finally leaving you two alone.

You sucked your teeth, hearing the door click shut. Knowing Wanda, she was never used to change even though throughout her childhood all the brunette did was suffer through it. She liked to be in control, prepared for what to expect.

Now it seemed you were expecting two.

You let out a small noise as your back hit the chair next to her side. Deciding to break the silence, you spoke calmly, “So twins, I guess that means we might need another crib.”

Her eyes only twitched in response, barely acknowledging the way you tried to subtly cheer her up. Make her feel this wasn’t a sudden change she wasn’t prepared for. The thought of another kid shook Wanda, it made her feel nervous. She fidgeted from her place, picking at the bedsheets.

Wanda shook her head, letting out a sigh. She took her hand off yours, using them to rub her temple. “God I- this wasn’t supposed to happen. Y/n I-“ Her throat closed up, she hated the way her immediate response was to cry, tears starting to prickle at her eyes. She hated even more how your face softened, “I can barely fathom one kid, now I’m supposed to mother two.”

Her head hung lowly as small tears started to stream down her cheeks. Not wanting you to see her that way she tried her best to turn away only for you to grab her cheeks with both hands, thumbs rubbing soft circles against her skin. Wanda let out a choked sob, staring at you so hopelessly. The sight broke your heart.

“Wanda hey, it’s okay.” You whispered.

“No Y/n I just- two. That’s two new people coming into your home, and me included- I can’t do this to you. You don’t deserve it.” She croaked out, sniffling between words.

You scrunch your face in protest, giving her a stern shake of your head. “Wanda you’ve always been welcome in my home, pregnant or not and it’s not just mine now it’s yours too. I want to help you.” You affirmed, moving your hands to wipe at her tears before coming down to hold her own.

“Why?” She asked.

“Because I care about you, and I love you.” You confessed, the words coming out with more meaning than you intended. Wanda stared up at you in adoration, her eyes crinkling, and a small blush dusting her cheeks. It was then you noticed how close you were, how close Wanda's face was to your own. Feeling overwhelmed by her stare, you looked away, taking a couple steps back. “And I love them too, whatever they are…”

Missing the disappointed look on her face.

Leaning back into the bed, Wanda turns her head to look at you, and if you were looking back you would’ve seen the loving look on her face “I really don’t deserve a friend like you.” She said softly, her voice so fragile.

Then you turned back this time, meeting her gaze, her words registering in your head. Quickly your face turned into a frown, “Don’t say that.”

Ignoring your words Wanda took a hold of your hand. A gesture that came so naturally now, both of you latching onto each other, wanting to feel one another. “I love you too, so much detka.”

More than you realize.

/-/

“Y/n.” Wanda murmured hurriedly, shaking at your arm. “Detka, wake up.”

Letting out a snort, you woke up with a cough, turning away to cover yourself. Your eyes fluttered wide open, wrestling with the sheets in a panic, “Huh? Yeah- Wands? What's wrong, are they here?”

A small smile crept up her lips at the mention of the twins, “No silly, I'm just…hungry again.” She whispered, turning away from your gaze in embarrassment.

“Again?” You clarified.

“Yeah…sorry.” She chuckled awkwardly.

Leaning on your elbows for support you lifted yourself up, sitting up. Scratching the back of your head you turned to look at your clock. Naturally it was 2 am, usually the time when Wanda would get hungry.

“No, no, that's fine.” You muttered hoarsely, clearing your throat. “I don’t mind, what are you craving?”

“Steves burgers…” She beamed.

“Steves? Okay I’ll get you some, with onions or without?” You said as you walked towards the closet, shrugging on your jacket.

“With, and grilled please.”

“Okay, yeah.” You hummed, slipping on your shoes. “I’ll uh be back try to get some sleep yeah? It's pretty late.” Kneeling up from the floor you reached for your wallet, stuffing it in your pockets.

Wanda made a disagreeing grunt but pulled the sheets back on herself anyway. “I guess.”

You nodded, giving her a sheepish smile. Grabbing your keys from the nightstand you made your way to the door, a small tug on your jacket stopping you. Curiously you turned around to meet Wanda, tilting your head in question. Her hand traveled up your forearm, pulling you down to press a lingering kiss on your cheek.

“Stay safe, and put on your glasses when you drive. Your astigmatism gets bad at this hour.” She husked out, letting you go.

Your breath catches in your throat, not trusting your words you nod again. Stumbling through a few items you rush towards the door, leaving with a small goodbye unsure why Wanda was teasing you. What was that?

/-/

“Hey.” You said, a surprised look on your face as you closed the door behind you. Wanda gave a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes from the dimly lit dining room. She was sitting comfortably in the chair, wearing one of your hoodies.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing out of bed? You should be resting, it’s really late.” Checking at the clock once again you confirmed your suspicions, you assumed perhaps she’d enjoy her burger in bed like she always does. This time however Wanda had different plans, fiddling with her sleeves.

“You know I can’t sleep without you.” She retorted, gazing into your eyes “I like it when you’re here.” She confesses profoundly.

You give her a sheepish smile, unsure what to say. The look in her eyes does nothing but make you even more nervous, what was going on with her? “I like it when you’re here too. Is everything okay?”

Wanda lets out a sigh, you choose to ignore it thinking she’s probably starving by now. You place the plastic bag on the table, taking out the bags and giving Wanda her burger. A number 2 with grilled onions, two pickles, and no cheese. “And I got you these.” You slide the container to her.

Wanda gives you a questioning look before opening it, she lets out a gasp when she does. Animal style fries. The annoyed quirk of her eyebrows long gone. Closing the lid she gives you a thankful pout, her eyes glossing. “Thank you…”

“I got you a strawberry milkshake too since I know you like dipping them with the animal fries.” You chuckled, putting the glass on the table.

That’s when Wanda wanted to cry, cry pathetically into her perfect burger brought by your perfect, kind, compassionate self. Instead she tossed the burger aside and pulled you in for a passionate kiss. Your eyes widened in surprise, but pressed back with the same intensity, quickly melting into the kiss.

Wanda sighing against your lips easily became your new favorite sound, eager to get her to make more, your hands coming up to cup her face. Eventually you realize that this isn’t just any girl, but your best friend. Your best friend who you’d have been crushing on for years, your best friend who just kissed you.

She kissed you.

And you almost break the kiss by how much you’re smiling but Wanda beats you to it, leaving lingering kisses on your lips, slowing the pace until her forehead is against yours. “I’m in love with you Y/n.”

Your breath hitches “M-Me too.”

Wanda shakes her head, moving to nuzzle against your collarbone. “No detka, as in more than just a friend.” She says, reminded of your previous statements on what friends do. Fuck being friends, you wanted Wanda. Wanted to show her how good of a partner you could be.

“So you like me?” You asked shyly, still processing the revelation.

Wanda picked up her head from your shoulder, correcting you with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Love you.”

You swallowed dryly, feeling your heart race. “That's great- thats- I.”

“Just kiss me already.” She orders breathlessly, barely giving you time to mutter ‘okay’ before your lips are on hers again.

It's not until the morning when you both come downstairs, lovesick smiles on your faces, that you realize the mess you left behind. Both burgers remain uneaten, but as your eyes glance down to yours and Wanda's intertwined fingers, you could care less.

#wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x you #wanda x reader #wanda x y/n #wlw post #wanda imagine #wanda my beloved #fluff #pregnancy #pregnant wanda maximoff

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wildernessuntothemselves · 8 months

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Jealousy, Jealousy... | Part 2

A/N: don't even have a summary for this. oc is in love with gyu and gyu is in love with another girl but both are virgin losers and gyu is a horndog who would let oc do what she wants to him just as long as he gets to cum.

Word count: 6.3

Genre: Smut, angst

Warnings: fem!reader, dry humping, degradation, dom!reader, sub!beomgyu, fleshlights, beomgyu being a perv and using oc's panties

You step into the apartment, hoping against hope that you won’t find Beomgyu in there. It’s been a few days since your fight, and you’ve been giving him the cold shoulder–ignoring his text messages, giving him one-word replies whenever he speaks to you, pretending you’re too busy to continue the marathon of whatever stupid show you were currently watching–and every time you do that, he’d look so heartbroken you have to fight for your life to not forgive him then and there.

But fate hates you, or maybe it was by Beomgyu’s design, because as soon as you step into the living room, you see Beomgyu on the couch, fiddling with his guitar. He looks up when he hears you enter.

You try to make a run for it, sight set on your bedroom door, but Beomgyu quickly springs up and calls your name. “Wait! I wanna talk to you.”

“Well, I don't wanna talk to you.” You mutter, bee-lining towards your room, but Beomgyu is quicker. It only takes him a couple of large steps to put himself between you and your bedroom door.

“Please!” He begs. “Just talk to me.”

“I don’t want to talk right now.” You try to push past him but he won’t budge.

“No, please, listen. I’m sorry for kissing you. I was just… I never got an A before. I didn’t think I could get an A. You know me. You know how everyone thinks that I’m so stupid. I know you think that I’m stupid. It just meant a lot to me. I was so excited to show you that I’m not always such a dumbass.”

You sigh. "I know you're not a dumbass."

“But I am. I’m such a dumbass and I’m so sorry for kissing you but please don’t leave me.”

“Leave you?” You stare at him incredulously. “Beommie, I’m not going to leave you. What makes you think I would?”

“Well you haven’t been talking to me. I thought you were done with me.” He says glumly and you laugh. “No, silly. I was just giving you the silent treatment. Never heard of it?”

"So we’re still friends?" He asks hopefully, tears in his eyes, looking like a kicked puppy.

"Of course, we are. Don't be silly." You reach out to run a hand through his hair, and he happily leans into your touch. "Okay. Promise me we'll never stop being friends. I can't lose you."

You hesitate. This is why he can’t know you’re in love with him. It would ruin you. "I promise." .

“Good.” He gives a big sigh of relief before he throws you a mischievous grin. “Are you going to come see me practice for the big gig today? I need my groupie.”

You smack his shoulder. “I’m not your groupie.”

“You can be. Maybe we can sneak off and mess around backstage.” He pulls you by the hips and rests his forehead against yours but doesn't attempt to kiss you.

"Beommie… I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?” He whines like a brat, “I won’t try to kiss you again, I promise. I'll be your good boy."

God, the things those simple words do to you. You could never have imagined the man you’ve thirsted after for years acting so needy for you, but you can’t let this go on any longer. It fucking killed you to have him kiss you, knowing it didn’t mean the same to him as it did to you. If you keep this up, you’ll only open yourself up for more hurt. You have to protect yourself.

"I just don't want us to get mad at each other again."

"We won't." He tries to reassure you, but you put a hand to his chest and push him away. "No, gyu. It was fun but we can’t do this anymore.”

He grabs your hand in his and brings it to his lips to press a kiss against your palm, making your heart flutter. "Then what's going to motivate me to do good?"

"Ice cream?" You suggest, taking your hand away, and he groans. “What’s rock and roll about that?”

You snort. “Your band name is tomorrow by together. There is nothing rock and roll about you guys.”

“Okay, ouch. Groupie invitation revoked.”

__________________

Watching Beomgyu play his guitar is like watching magic happen. Even when he messes up or is struggling–the way he’s just so immersed and serious about his craft is so inspiring and you feel so lucky to be able to witness it.

It was a moment like this–seeing him so lost in the music–when you first realized you’re in love with him. And now, a few years later, that love has only grown stronger.

“He really is an idiot.” You hear a familiar voice next to you and look to the side to see Yeonjun also looking at Beomgyu.

“What do you mean?”

“If I had a girl look at me the way you’re looking at him, I would never let her go.” He says so casually as if he hadn’t just exposed your entire guts out to the world.

“What–-why would you–I–” You sputter, getting even more flustered at the amused look on his face. Damn him. You take a moment to recollect yourself. “Don’t be silly, Yeonjun. We’re just friends.”

“Are you? Then how come you won’t go out with me?”

You roll your eyes. “Have you ever considered that you just might not be my type?”

He raises an eyebrow at you, looking at you like he doesn’t believe it for a second. “Oh, please, I’m everyone’s type. What, you don’t like tall, handsome men? Lead singers? Really talented lovers?”

You suppress the blush his last comment intended to entice in you. “I already told you. I can’t go out with a guy who will flirt more with his fans than me.”

“Aw, are you jealous, baby? You know I can clean my act up for you.” He moves to get closer to you, his hand reaching out to wrap around you, when suddenly Beomgyu steps in between you two. “Leave her alone, Yeonjun.”

“Why? She likes it.” Yeonjun grins, sending you a wink, and you stick your tongue out at him, making him laugh. Yeonjun tries to reach out to mess up your hair in revenge, but Beomgyu intercepts him.

“No, she doesn’t. Now, leave.”

“Alright. Alright. Chill. I’ll leave for now but if you’re not gonna snatch her up then don’t blame me for trying.” He sends you a wink, making you blush. “See you later, doll.”

You bite your lip, staring at the ground to try to get your blush under control. You don’t like Yeonjun like that. Well, at least not near as much as you like Beomgyu, but you still can’t help the effect he has on you. He’s just so charming, and if you hadn’t been so absolutely in love with Beomgyu, you would’ve definitely been under him long ago.

“You really shouldn’t encourage him.” Beomgyu says irritably, “You know he’s a manwhore.”

You shrug. “I know but it’s still nice to have a man’s attention.”

“Hey, you have my attention.” He protests, and you stay silent, giving him a cryptic look.

“What?” He narrows his eyes at you, and you shake your head, dispelling any stupid thoughts of confessing your undying love for him. “Nothing. It’s just not the same. You’re my best friend. He could be something more.”

“Oh.” Beomgyu steps back, frowning. “Um…okay. I understand that, but do you really need it from Yeonjun? I just… he’s my bandmate, you know?”

“I know.” You say, even though you really don’t. Why should that matter? “But he’s sweet and charming–”

Beomgyu groans, cutting you off. “Please. Anyone but Yeonjun.”

“Beomgyu—”

“Please.”

You roll your eyes. “Fine.”

You don’t know why it matters so much to him but you honestly don’t care. It’s not like you have your eyes on Yeonjun or anyone else but Beomgyu. You’re hopeless anyway.

__________________

You and Beomgyu have easily settled back into your old routine, pre-hooking up. Like right now, you’re cuddled up on his bed watching a movie as if nothing had ever happened–as if you’ve never touched him–as if just the feeling of his body wrapped around yours isn’t scorching your skin.

“I can’t believe we’re watching this stupid movie again.” You groan, shoveling popcorn into your mouth.

“Hey! I’ll have you know that Top Gun is one of the greatest pieces of cinema ever made.” He defends his favorite movie fiercely.

“The greatest bore ever made you mean.” You grumble and he kicks your leg. “Shut up. I don’t insult your stupid horror movies when you make me watch them.”

“You just did!” You retort, and he scoffs. “Well they’re stupid.”

“Whatever. We’re watching The Shining after this.”

“No we’re not!” He protests heatedly, and you answer back just as passionately. “Why not? We agreed we would watch one movie horribly picked by you, and another very superiorly picked by me.”

He looks down at his hands, mumbling quietly. “You know those twins freak me out. I won’t be able to sleep for a week if we watch that.”

“Aw, Beommie.” You coo, propping a finger under his chin to make him look up at you. “Well tough luck, wuss. We’re watching it.”

“I hate you.” He whines, burying his face into your neck.

Yup, all back to normal. You don’t want to cry because just the light brush of his breath against your skin sends your nervous system into overdrive. Nope. You’re all good. Just two friends watching a terrible movie.

_______________________________

For a guy who just said he’s so afraid of The Shining, he won’t be able to sleep, he sure is sleeping very soundly right now.

You glare down at him. He made you sit all through that stupid movie and he’s knocked out half-way through yours. You’d wake him up and give him a severe talking to if you weren’t so incredibly, wonderfully comfortable right now. You feel so warm and toasty with his long body wrapped around you like this, and the view you have–his face resting against your chest so close you can count his eyelashes… it was heaven for you. You suppose you’ll let him sleep for a bit more.

Maybe you should get some shut-eye too. You’ve been so tired staying up all night studying for the test you took earlier this morning that you can’t help dozing off yourself, his embrace more comfortable than a bed of clouds to you.

You were feeling so fucking peaceful, the weight of sleep helping to push down all your negative feelings that you don’t even pay much attention to Beomgyu’s repeated movements at first, just chalking them up to him shifting around to try to get comfortable like you.

Sure, it was taking longer than was reasonable and he was pressing himself closer and closer to you each time, but it’s not like you were going to complain. The closer to Beomgyu, the better, right? It’s only when you feel something hard pushing up against your thigh that you realize what exactly is happening.

"Beommie, what are you doing?" You mutter sleepily.

He goes rigid and it takes him a while to respond. "...nothing."

You would have let it go if you didn’t still feel his hard cock against you. “Oh, really?” You challenge, moving your thigh up against him, ripping a deep groan from his throat. “Then what is this?”

“Okay, okay, I really missed you.” He groans, wrapping his entire body around you. “And you just felt too good against me.”

You scoff. “Have you no self control?” You ask even as you move your thigh against his cock.

“No.” He admits, full on humping you. “Just need you.”

“Beomgyu…” You pretend to hesitate, not wanting to let him off the hook quite so easily, not wanting him to see how much you need him too.

“Please, baby.” He begs, voice even deeper with sleep and all husky. That was your undoing.

“Fine. You can keep going, fuck me.” You ‘finally’ relent, but the spoiled brat isn’t content with that. He tries to pull your shorts down. “Can I actually fuck you?”

“No! I meant you can fuck my thigh.” You clarify, silencing his emerging protests with your finger in his mouth. “It’s bad enough that I’m letting you hump me like a rabid dog. You don’t get more.”

“But this is so humiliating.” He whines through your finger before burying his face against your shoulder as he continues to vigorously dry hump you, miming fucking you the best he can.

"I've seen you hump your body pillow before– More times than I would have liked– This is an upgrade for you, you pervert."

"You're so mean." He whines again and you snort. "I'm helping get your virgin ass off. How am I mean?"

“You’re just so mean.” He cries, grinding fervently against you.

“And you’ve gone brain-dead again.” You laugh, “Come on, baby. Just focus on getting off. You’re almost there aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Then come on. I want to feel you cumming against my thigh. It would be really fucking sexy.” You drawl, pulling his head back so he can look at you.

“Y-yeah?”

“Yeah.” You trace a finger over his perfect lips, resisting the urge to kiss them. Fuck, now that you’ve had a taste, it’s like you’ve developed a craving to them. This is why you should have never let him kiss you. “You’re so pretty, wanna see you lose control.”

“Okay–okay… if you want it.” He stares at you deeply, and you nod.

“I really do.” You murmur, “Want you to cum all over yourself for me.”

“You’re so fucking dirty.” He growls, pushing your legs open and pressing himself between your them so he’s humping your pussy instead of your thigh.

“Hey! Bad boy!” You screech, stuttering when his cock brushes against your clit. Your hand goes out to grab him by the hair. “Bad b-boy.”

“Please, please, don’t make me let go.” He pants, his hips driving into yours roughly. “I’m almost there. Gonna cum for you, pretty.”

You hesitate at the nickname, loosening your grip.

"No, pull my hair harder. I like it when you’re rough with me."

"Now who's the dirty one?"

"I can't help it." He sucks in a sharp breath, "You drive me crazy."

Well, that makes two of you.

"Fuck, Beommie." You gasp, pulling on his hair and making him lose it. The way his cock is grinding against your clit making you reach the edge yourself. If he keeps this up, you might actually…

"Oh god, yes, yes, fuck!' He shudders and can tell by the warmth soaking his pants and the way he presses his hips snug against yours that he had orgasmed.

Oh well, so much for that.

"Did… did you cum?" He asks once he had caught his breath a bit.

"No." You admit awkwardly, a little breathless yourself, and he looks disappointed. "It's okay, I'll take care of it."

"But I wanna do it." He whines. “Let me.”

"No, Beomgyu." You refuse to let him feel how wet you are right now. He can’t know how much you want him. You can’t let him touch you because if he did, you don’t know if you would ever get enough.

"Why not?” He huffs, annoyed. “Why don't you want me to touch you? Do you find me so repulsive?"

"Don't be ridiculous.” You grit out. How very Beomgyu to be this oblivious. “You’re very handsome.”

"You clearly don't think so. Otherwise you wouldn't freak out every time I try to touch you." He snaps, “Listen, I know I’m no Yeonjun, but you don’t have to make me feel so hideous.”

“This has nothing to do with Yeonjun or you, you ass.” You lie through your teeth. "I'm just not ready to let anyone touch me yet, okay? Unlike you I’m not just looking to get my rocks off. This actually means something to me.”

“So it’s okay to meaninglessly get someone off but it’s not okay to let them get you off too?” He calls you out on your flawed logic.

“Yes.” You double down anyway, and he opens his mouth to argue but you beat him to it, realizing you need to end this discussion before you say something stupid. “See? This is exactly why I didn’t want us to hook up again. Maybe we should–”

“No, no! Fine, I’ll back off.” He puts his hands up in the air, literally backing off. “I won’t try to touch you or kiss you or do anything to you anymore. Only you can do what you want.”

“Beomgyu–”

“Please! I really don’t want this to end. It feels good being with you.” He pleads. God, he has no idea what he’s doing to you. It’s unfair that he has this much effect on you and he doesn’t even know it.

You really shouldn’t say yes. This is only going to end in disaster, if you say yes.

“Fine.”

____________

“I can’t do this. I can’t. I’m just going to go home.” Beomgyu exclaims, freaking out in his small dressing room. He and his band have been invited to play at one of the most popular spots in town. It’s a huge opportunity for them, and so naturally it comes with a great deal of pressure, which Beomgyu is definitely feeling.

“No! You can’t!” You intercept him, holding onto him tightly so he won’t escape. “You’ve been waiting for an opportunity like this for years! You can’t just go.”

“But I am freaking out. I am going to make a fool of myself if I go on that stage. I know I will.” He cries, looking at you with pure panic in his eyes that is actually contagious. But you fight to keep in control of yourself. You have to be the rational one for him.

“You are going to do great–”

“You don’t know that. They will hate me. They’re boo me. Oh, god, they’re going to throw things at me. I have to go. I have to–”

You grab his face and kiss him, shutting him up, and even though this time you’re prepared for the kiss, the feel of his lips still takes you off guard. There is nothing in the world that could prepare you for the electricity you feel whenever your lips touch, and this time when you hold onto him, it’s to keep yourself from falling to the ground.

“You won’t.” You tell him once you bring yourself to pull away from the kiss. Or once you run out of oxygen that is. “You’re the most talented musician I know. I know you’re freaking out right now but once you’re out there, you’re going to put on the greatest show those people have ever seen. I know you will, because you’re that good!”

“You kissed me.” He mumbles, confused.

“Well, you wouldn’t shut up.” You mutter nervously.

“Right.” He clears his throat, and it’s silent for a few seconds before he looks at you shyly. “You really think I’m the most talented musician, you know?”

“I know you are.” You say truthfully.

“Even more than Yeonjun?” He asks and you roll your eyes. “Even more than Yeonjun.”

He grins widely, triumphant. “Okay. I will go out there and show those fuckers how it’s done.” He says confidently, taking a step towards the stage before he quickly doubles back. “But before I go… another kiss for good luck?”

Oh god, you’re being put through hell and you have no one to blame but yourself.

“Don’t get used to this.” You roll your eyes, pulling him into another kiss.

_________________

Beomgyu does amazing. Maybe it’s the stage lights, maybe it’s the sway of the music, maybe it’s the energy of the crowd, maybe it’s how happy he looks up there–but you’ve never been so in love with him. And so proud, and so amazed, and so bewitched.

And it seems everyone around you thinks the same. The crowd absolutely went wild for him and his band. They cheered loudly after every song. They hooted and clapped whenever one of the boys interacted with them. They enthusiastically answered their questions and followed their requests. It all went so well, you just know this gig has secured them many more in the future, and you like to think that you helped in your own way, by keeping the lead guitarist from running away before the concert.

Said guitarist grabs you and hauls you off the ground in a suffocating hug as soon as he sees you backstage. “Did you see that? Did you hear how loudly they cheered for us?”

“So loudly I think one of my eardrums has ruptured actually.” You laugh, making a show of pulling at your ear. “You guys did so amazing, Beommie! The band absolutely blew everyone away!”

“Who cares about the band? I rocked!” He shakes you excitedly.

“Yes, you did.” You easily give in to him fishing for compliments. He deserves it. “You were the star of the show. I heard so many people around me–”

“Oh my god.” Beomgyu gasps, staring at something behind you.

“What?”

“It’s Haeun.”

You look back to see the devil herself. “Oh.”

“Beommie!” She greets him enthusiastically, coming over. Beommie? That’s your nickname for him. You’re the only one who calls him that!

“You did really well.” She enthuses, making him puff his chest out like a goddamn rooster. “Y-you l-liked it?”

“Of course, I did. I always knew you’re so talented.”

You can’t help the snort that escapes you, and they both look at you, Beomgyu mortified and Haeun unimpressed. “Sorry, something was stuck in my throat.” You mutter, wishing the ground would swallow you up right about now.

“Anyways,” She rolls her eyes at you then pins him with a flirty look so thick you think you could actually suffocate on it “What I was saying is that you looked really good up there.”

He gulps, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She coos, stepping closer to him and running her hand down his arm through his sleeveless shirt until she reaches his hand and pulls it up, playing with his fingers. “You really know how to finger those strings, huh? I wonder if the guitar is the only thing you can play?”

Once again, you can’t keep in the noise of disgust that came from deep within you, but this time neither Beomgyu nor her pay any attention to you.

“Uh—well—I–” He stutters dumbly. Typical.

“Why don’t you and the band come to the party I am hosting Friday? Maybe you can show me those moves up close?” She winks at him.

“Hell y-yeah. I’ll be there.” He chokes out and she smiles widely. “Great. See you then.” She leans in to press a kiss to his cheek and you almost reach out to scratch her eyes out but you contain yourself.

She gives you one last snobby look before throwing her hair back and walking off. Beomgyu stares after her, dazed. "Am I crazy or did she just flirt with me?"

“Come on, Beomgyu, apes are more subtle than her.” You grumble, the fire of jealousy consuming your insides. “Anyways, you know she’s only doing this because you’re becoming successful, right? She always treated you as a loser before, never giving you the time of day, but now suddenly that you gain a shred of popularity, she starts liking you?"

"Oh." He pauses for a second, and you reach out to pat his back, wishing to comfort him, when he breaks into a huge grin. “So what you’re saying is that I’m popular and she likes me? Awesome!”

“Ugh.” You storm away, followed behind by a confused Beomgyu.

________________

“Since I did really well today, don’t I deserve a reward?” Beomgyu grabs you as soon as you’re back at your apartment, pulling you flush against him and trying to kiss you.

Now, you would have loved to give in. That kiss you shared earlier still tingles at your lips, but not after what he did. The nerve of him after slobbering all over another woman in front of you!

“Wait until the party, maybe she’ll give you your reward.” You push him away, disgusted at the thought of it. But Beomgyu continues proving to you why he easily wins the title of least aware person in the entire universe. “But I want my reward now.”

“God, Beomgyu, you really know how to turn a girl on.” You growl, shoving him out of your way. “Go to sleep.”

"What's your problem?" You hear him ask before you slam the door shut.

You rip your clothes off–band merch you wore to support the idiot–and put on a long shirt. Which as soon as you settle under the covers, you discover actually belongs to him, his scent all over it and drowning you in unwanted feelings.

You don’t care that she came on to him. You don’t care that she invited him to her party. You don’t care that he’ll probably go and she’ll make a move on him and he’ll fall deeper in love with her and she’ll have him all wrapped around her finger and–

Okay, you care. You care too much. You can’t handle the thought of it any longer, but you can’t reveal your real feelings. It will be the end of you. No, you have to bottle it all down.

‘You can’t let it show.’ You think to yourself as you curl into a ball, shutting out the outside world and even your own memories, trying to just be claimed by sleep.

But the world isn’t that fair, and through your curled form you can hear the sound of Beomgyu moaning out. You can’t quite hear what he’s saying but you’ve heard him enough times to know exactly what he’s doing.

You bet he’s thinking of her. You bet he’s imagining fingering her. You can’t allow that. Not while you’re lying here breaking over him.

You throw the covers off you and storm to his room, bursting the door open.

“Hey!” He cries out, trying to cover his junk.

You roll your eyes. “It’s just me. No need to freak out.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I heard you from my room.” You say plainly. “You weren't exactly subtle. Now let me see.”

“But I thought you–”

“Do you want it or not?”

He only hesitates for a second, the whore, before he throws the blanket away. You roll your eyes, getting onto the bed and grabbing his dick, pumping it in your hand. He immediately flops back, relaxing into your touch. “Oh god, I needed this.”

"Yeah? Got all horny from the way everyone was eyeing you up? You know you really gave Yeonjun a run for his money with how slutty you were acting." You mutter bitterly. Yes, you enjoyed the show, but it wasn’t only Haeun eyeing him up.

Beomgyu glares at you. "Can we not talk about him while you're fisting my cock?"

“Whatever.” You brush him off, focused on something else right now. "So, thinking of fucking any of your new fans?"

“Hmmm.” He mumbles, and you can see from the way his eyes have gone all glazed that he’s not paying attention. “You. I really wanna fuck you.” He thrusts into your hand, whining.

"You wish."

"I really do." He breathes out, and your own breath stutters. Man, this is dangerous but you can’t stop. You speed up your movement, making Beomgyu wince.

“Wait, dry, dry, hurts.” Beomgyu whines at the chafing feeling, and you almost feel bad for him if it weren’t for his next words. “Why don’t you put it in your mouth to get it wet?”

You snort, seeing right through him. “You’re not slick, gyu.”

“But it really is dry.” He pouts, making a show of expressing his pain as you continue to jerk him off, and you sigh, removing your hand. “Where is your lube?”

“In your mouth.” He replies like a smartass and you pin him down with a glare. “I can always stop, you know?”

“Okay, okay, it’s in the drawer.” He gives up, pointing to his bedside cabinet, and you quickly look away from his adorable pout, knowing if you look at it too long you’d just give him everything he wants.

“What the fuck is this?” You pause in your tracks once you open up the drawer.

“What?” He asks, a confused look on his face that quickly turns to horror once he sees what you’ve fished out of the drawer.

You hold up a fleshlight and a pair of panties silently, waiting for him to explain. Panties that you know too well, your own fucking panties in fact.

“I can explain.”

“Yes, please. Explain to me how you’re such a massive pervert who steals his best friend’s panties so he can jerk off with them.”

“You’re not just my best friend.” He protests lamely and your stupid heart swells up against your best efforts, only for him to smash it to pieces again. “We mess around and you get me so horny, I can't help but imagine what you'd feel like. But I know you don't want that so I had to get creative."

Well, it’s still a compliment, right? He’s jerking off with your panties, not hers. Then again, you’re his roommate and he has easier access to your underwear.

You throw the items at him. “Show me what you do with them.”

"But I don't wanna… I want you." He whimpers, leaning towards you and trying to kiss you.

"Tough luck.” You hiss, pushing him away. “I want to see."

He groans, grabbing the lube and squirting a generous amount onto the toy before pushing it in with his fingers… in and out, in and out.

Okay, that bitch may have had a point about his fingers.

"Get to it already." You snap, mouth dry.

"I'm just getting it ready, sheesh." He mutters, finally lining the toy up with his cock before moving it down his length.

"Oh…" He sighs, head falling back as the toy takes his cock.

"Feels good?" You whisper, and he nods, pulling the toy off with a wet sound, taking a second to catch his breath before pushing it down again.

"God, you're pathetic." You mutter, more to yourself than to him. You're so fucking turned on right now, you’re sure you’re more wet than that fucking toy. "Fucking a plastic pussy because you can't get laid?"

"You wanna volunteer to f-fuck me instead?" He grits out but it sounds more like a moan with how much he's struggling to not succumb to the pleasure.

“Is that what you think about when you're fucking yourself?" You ask and he hesitates, the toy slipping off his cock.

God, his cock looked so good–so hard and glistening and thick. You wanna throw that stupid toy away and take him instead… but you can't. So you grab the hand he has holding the toy and make him move it to his cock again.

He gasps as you push it back down. “Ah…y-yeah. Think about fucking you all the time.”

It takes everything in you not to put your hand between your legs and rub yourself off right now. “And what do you do with the panties?”

He freezes, a deep blush dusting his cheeks. “I don’t wanna say.”

Now that just makes you want to know all the more. “You know I can always leave?” You threaten and he groans, his hips bucking into the toy. “Stop saying that. It’s not fair.”

“Show me.” You insist and he whimpers, not looking at you as he grabs the panties with his free hand and pulls them towards his face, taking a whiff off them.

“Oh my god, you freak.” You gasp, your thighs pressing together at the obscene sight.

“No, please–”

“I didn't say you could stop.” You snap when he drops his hand and stops fucking his fleshlight.

He whimpers, bringing the cloth back to his face, his tongue peeking out to lick against the fabric.

“Fuck, you’re disgusting.”

He whines again, shaking his head. “Just wanna taste you.”

You cock your head to the side curiously. “You wanna taste me?”

“Uh-huh.” He nods dumbly, his eyes almost rolling to the back of his head at the thought of it. Well, who are you to deny him something he wants this badly?

You put your hand down your shorts, nearly making him choke as he watches you rub your soaking pussy a little bit to coat your fingers before bringing them out and holding them for him to see. You spread your fingers apart, showing him the strings of arousal between them. “You want this?”

He drops the panties and sticks his tongue out like a dog begging for a treat, his hips never ceasing their rutting into his toy, the sticky sound of his cock pushing in and out ringing against your ears. “Please…please…”

“Okay, quit drooling.” You mutter in disgust at the saliva falling onto the sheets below, and move your hand towards him. As soon as your fingers are within reach, he takes them fully into his touch, moaning out at the taste.

He sucks them off, his tongue licking up any juices in between your fingers until there is none left. Then he pants, “More…sit on my face.”

You pull your hand away, your pussy quivering at the thought but you don’t let it show. “No way. You don’t deserve it.”

“Why not? I’ve been good. Haven’t I been good?”

‘Not when you’re thirsting over her.’ You think to yourself bitterly.

“Please.”

“I said no.” You shut him down, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun of your own. Finally giving into the temptation, you slip a hand into your shorts as you watch him continue to fuck his toy.

Beomgyu groans out loud. “Oh, come on. Now you’re just teasing me.”

“How am I teasing you?” You grin, rubbing your clit as you watch him lose it over you. Yeah, this is why you continue to do this. This will be your undoing.

“You know how much I wanna touch you. Just come on up and sit on my face.”

“No.”

“Please. I can make you feel better than your fingers can. Just give me a chance.”

“Oh please, you’re a virgin, Beomgyu. I know you have no experience. I’m better off fucking myself.” You laugh at him.

“Yes, I do. Look at this.” He leans forward, pressing his fleshlight against the bed and fucking into it.

“Is that how you imagine fucking me?”

“Yeah–you always take it so well.”

Fuck, he really knows how to get you going.

You shake your head. “Well I’m not a plastic toy for you to hammer your dick into. I need to feel pleasure too.”

“Then teach me.” He cries out desperately. “You can make me do whatever you want. I won’t say no.”

“Are you whoring yourself out to me?”

“Yes. I’m your whore.” He agrees, his dick thrusting wildly into his toy, and you in turn pushing your fingers into yourself and matching his pace, pretending he’s fucking you. “Just please do something. I’m going to burst.”

“But I want you to burst, baby.” You lean closer to him, brushing your nose against his. “I like how pathetic you look cumming on yourself or in a pocket pussy. You’re such a fucking loser.”

He’s nearly gasping at this point. “Come on, please. Wouldn’t having my cock inside you feel so much better than your fingers? Just pin me down and use me the way you like. I don’t mind.”

He’s driving you fucking crazy. You’re one second away from breaking. And maybe you would have, if he hadn’t kept talking.

“Just need to feel a real pussy.”

How does he always do this? He always ruins it for himself, always reminds you that you’re just a pair of tits and a warm pussy for him. Not who he really wants, just what’s available.

You sigh heavily, taking your fingers away from your pussy. “I’m getting bored. If you don’t blow your load now, then you can do it by yourself.”

“No, no. I can do it. I’m a good boy.”

“Yeah? Are you a good, pretty slut who cums on command?” You mock him, but he doesn’t care. He wants it too bad.

“Yeah. Just–just give me a kiss.” He pleads, and seeing your face, he quickly adds. “Just a kiss and I’ll empty my balls out for you.”

Well, it’s not like this would be the most egregious mistake you’ve ever made. You’ve already kissed him. Might as well get this over with and go back to your bed so you can wallow in how you’re nothing but a warm body to him.

“Fine.” You press your lips against his and he immediately opens his mouth, his tongue licking your lips, trying to push inside. You let him, wrapping your lips around his tongue and sucking on it before brushing against it with your own tongue. Meanwhile, you sneak your hand between you, taking control of the fleshlight and pumping it rapidly over his sensitive cock, not even giving him a chance.

“Do it then. Now.” You demand, your lips still connected together with a thick string of saliva. “Oh god, oh my god, cumming, cumming baby.”

He kisses you again, muffling the noises of his climax against your mouth, and you take every bit of it like you can never get enough.

But eventually he pulls back, his high over and not needing you anymore.

“God, that was crazy.” He says at last.

“Yeah. Learned a lot about you and what you like to do behind closed doors.” You mutter, and his eyes widen.

“Listen, it’s not–”

“It’s not what I think, I know. You’re just a pervert who needed some help getting off. I get it. But next time you take one of my panties, I’m breaking your arms.”

____________________________

A/N: well I think there is one more chapter or at most two left of this series. kind of a short one. what are we thinking so far? always open to hear ideas. i just thought of an ending but i'd love to hear from you guys. maybe i'll be inspired

Taglist: @wonwooz1 @yaorzu-blog @allylikesdabee @rkivezzs @malieno @leviathanlee26 @yomomas-stuff @kurisaiyunobara @girlwholovekpop

this was just a provisional taglist as i don't usually do one. it's just a few people have specifically asked to be tagged so there you go

#txt smut #beomgyu smut #dom!reader #sub!idol #tomorrow x together smut #fem!reader

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herlondonboy · 4 months

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unclaimed, clarisse la rue

summary: after being unclaimed for seven years, your father claims you when a new kid arrives and is claimed.

warnings: bullying a little, i guess… they’ll be a part 2 if anyone likes this one. there’s not very much clarisse x reader, but there will be in part 2

wc: 1.6k

a/n: guys it’s my bday in three days… i wanna be 16 forever

you were barely ten when you arrived at camp half-blood. you were scared, shaking, and cold as your satyr protector led you away from the body of your mother and to the entrance of the camp.

with no idea of what was happening, you followed him blindly, hoping for an answer, but the second you crossed the threshold, you collapsed.

when you awoke, there was a blonde kid above you with a wide smile. “hi,” he said, “i’m will!”

you sat up in confusion, murmuring, “where am i?”

“camp half-blood,” will responded. “your satyr didn’t tell you?”

you shook your head. “what’s a satyr?”

since then, you and will had been friends. he was your only constant at camp. in the seven years you’d been there, you hadn’t been claimed by a god. it was understandable. you didn’t do anything to make them proud. you weren’t good at archery or sword fighting, you didn’t get along with nature nor were you heroic.

but, in those seven years, you had been claimed by someone else.

clarisse la rue was the daughter of ares. she knew how to get what she wanted and at 15 what she wanted was you. clarisse became a constant in your life. breakfasts would be spent feeling her eyes on you, archery practice she was purposefully tease you as if you weren’t already bad enough with a bow as it was.

then, she asked you out. you had been supporting a crush on her for a year at that point, so it was a no-brainer. you loved your girlfriend more than anything.

will and clarisse were the only people you were devoted to. the only people you really trusted.

as of now, your seventeenth birthday was quickly approaching. clarisse and will wanted to make it special since you hadn’t really celebrated any birthdays since you were ten. three days before your mother died getting you to safety.

it seemed like their efforts were futile because three days before your birthday, a curly-haired blond boy walked through the entrance after supposedly killing a minotaur. all celebrations had been pushed to the back of everyone’s minds. to the back of clarisse’s mind.

you didn’t care though, your birthday wasn’t a fun celebration. it didn’t even hurt that you weren’t anyone’s first priority. in fact, you were happy.

percy came with a reputation already hung over his head. he had killed a minotaur, though clarisse would tell everyone that it was bull crap. he was like ten, there was no way. you didn’t care that much. if they say he killed a monster, then he killed a monster.

as you sat at lunch, three days before your birthday, you were shot looks of pity. whether it was because your girlfriend was ignoring you or because you hadn’t been claimed in nearly seven years, you had no idea.

with a sigh, you got up and retreated back to the hermes cabin. you wished chiron would have let you choose which one you wanted to stay in. it was clear you had overstayed your welcome. they didn’t like you very much.

later that day, after sparring, it was dinner and your girlfriend was nowhere to be found. and of course, neither was percy jackson.

you got up and walked down to the outhouse where two of clarisse’s half-siblings were guarding the outside.

“let me past,” you ordered. they shared a look so you just pushed past, in time to see clarisse be soaked head to toe with what you hoped was tap water.

she glared at the boy before turning and storming out past you, followed by another two of her siblings. you’d comfort her in a minute.

“i’m sorry about her,” you said sincerely. “clarisse doesn’t like liars and she doesn’t believe that you killed the minotaur.”

“i’m not lying!”

“i didn’t say you were,” you furrowed your eyebrows. “but, uh, water powers, eh?”

“what?”

you shook your head. “i’m y/n.”

the boy nodded. “i know who you are.”

that made you frown. “you mean you know i’ve been unclaimed for seven years?”

“i-i,” he stammered, making you scoff.

“no worries. see you around, percy jackson, minotaur killer, orphan.”

“ouch.”

“don’t worry. i got here the same way, only hades didn’t save my mother, i don’t think. i didn’t see, too busy running and not killing,” you said. “welcome to camp half-blood.”

you walked out and to the ares cabin, knocking on the door.

your girlfriend opened with a glare, “what?” she asked.

“hello to you, too. i missed you too,” you mocked. clarisse just raised an eyebrow so you dropped your facade. “what was that back there? he’s a child, clarisse.”

“he’s a liar.”

you rolled your eyes and pushed her into the cabin. clarisse held back a smile as you made it dark and brought her over to her bed before kissing her lips softly. “leave him alone, please. i have a feeling he’s not the type of person that you want to mess with.”

clarisse scoffed at your reasoning and didn’t make any promises, but held you close.

“has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful?” clarisse asked suddenly, making you roll your eyes. “not… not in the way the aphrodite kids are. more like… like deathly beautiful.”

“thanks… i think?”

capture the flag was something that camp took very seriously. you were obviously on clarisse’s team, red team. even though you hadn’t won since a child of athena started leading the blue team. part of you hoped that percy would join your team, but knew he wouldn’t.

you forced a smile onto your face when you saw him. will had told you to smile more. that it makes one more approachable. it didn’t feel right to you, though.

you coughed and got in position.

you were by the water when percy came, clarisse hot on his tail. it was a fight you didn’t want to get in the middle of. you flinch when you heard your girlfriend’s spear snap then again when she screamed. you felt bad for the kid, he didn’t know what he had just started.

luke then ran down with the rest of the blue team cheering him on as he dug the red flag into the pebbles. clarisse stormed away once again, leaving you, yet again, with percy jackson.

you saw a colourful outline of a person, before annabeth took off her cap and revealed herself. she congratulated and her cursed her out for not helping him. you watched from afar as annabeth showed him way.

percy was suddenly in the water.

when annabeth pushed percy into the water, everyone watched intently. his cuts healed instantly as he yelled at her. he didn’t even know the gravity of the situation. the crowds went silent as everyone’s gaze moved from percy to above him.

another demigod claimed within days, when you hadn’t been claimed in years.

percy jackson, son of poseidon. a forbidden child. the only one, as thalia had died.

you knew it was only a matter of time before he was sent on a quest. you prayed for him.

that night, you tossed and turned in bed. sleep never came easy, but now it was like something was forcing you to stay awake. you groaned and opened your eyes, confused.

this didn’t look like the hermes cabin.

“hello, child,” you heard a deep voice say, making you turn around.

“who are you?” you asked. you knew who he was, though. he was hades. you were in the underworld, somehow. what you wanted to know, was who he was to you. “is it you?”

“is what me?”

“my father. are you him?” you asked bitterly. seven years. seven years curious and he only now claimed you out of pure jealousy.

“you know the answer.”

you nodded. “why now? why not seven years ago?”

“you know the answer to that, too.”

you were becoming seriously irate. your father was a prick.

“the boy didn’t just take something from my brother. he took something from me, too. i need you to get it back,” you father ordered. “before you say no, i have something you want.”

he nodded to an area behind you and you turned to see a golden statue, like someone had been touched my midas. the statue looked eerily familiar. then it clicked. “my mother?” you whispered.

“get me my helm of darkness.”

you shot awake in a cold sweat, blinking at the light. was it morning already?

“someone get luke,” you heard a hermes kid whisper. “quickly!”

everyone was looking at you. or rather, above you. you looked up at your father’s symbol glowing above your head, a three-headed dog. you felt sick.

not only were you a forbidden child, but you were the forbidden child of hades. when word got around to luke, he had practically dragged you to chiron’s office. it didn’t take long, so your father’s symbol was still over your head before quickly disappearing after chiron saw it.

luke had been asked to leave and you were alone with chiron and mr. d. “i-“

“we have a quest for you,” mr. d cut you off. “with peter johnson.”

“we would like to you to go and retrieve the master bolt from your father,” chiron told you. “you leave with percy and two others of his choosing tomorrow.”

“do i not have a choice?” you asked.

“you’re the only way they’re going to get out of the underworld. they need you.”

you sighed and nodded. “okay.”

this was not you wanted when you said you wanted to be claimed.

suddenly, you had forgotten all about what your father asked of you. your only job now was protecting percy jackson.

#clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse x reader #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse pjo #clarisse la rue #elijah writes #please reblog

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mionemymind · 1 month

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Don't Ask Stupid Questions

Summary: Friends with benefits is never a good idea when you're in love with Wanda Maximoff.

Warnings: Pure Angst, No Happy Ending, Suggested Smut, No Part 2? (I Lied)

A/n: I was inspired by the song You by Zeph. But be advised that the song has a happy tone to it while I completely twisted it to be angst (call me crazy). Gif credits go to @vanessacarlysle

Word Count: 542

Masterlist

Part One | Part Two

“Are we together?” Wanda’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Her mouth was slightly parted as her brain racked to comprehend the question. Trying her best to calm down her breathing from the heated make out session, Wanda answered with, “Don’t ask stupid questions, babe.”

A small giggle and smile escaped Wanda lips as she pulled Y/n back in for another kiss. She purposely ignored the small hurt Y/n expressed in her eyes as she deepened the kiss. And when Y/n pulled Wanda’s hips closer, with Wanda’s back pressed up against the wall, all thoughts of the question went away.

“Will you let me take you out on a date?” Wanda looked up from her stack of mission reports to see Y/n with a single rose and doe eyes. It was obvious to anyone that saw the interaction just how much Y/n liked Wanda.

But as the small fake smile appeared on Wanda’s lips, Y/n couldn’t help but steel herself from the on coming rejection. “I’m sorry Y/n.” Feeling defeated, Y/n still laid the rose down in front of Wanda as she walked backwards to escape.

“I love the rose,” Wanda quipped before Y/n fully exited, “but don’t ask stupid questions, babe.” Y/n smiled briefly as she nodded in acceptance.

“It was a stupid question,” Y/n muttered under her breath.

“Do you seriously feel nothing for me?” Wanda looked back at the sight of Y/n naked under the covers. The redhead was already retrieving her clothes, ready to go back to her room for the night.

And as she put on her shirt, and gave Y/n a quick kiss goodbye, she lightly tapped the girl's cheek and said, “We’ve agreed to this babe. So don’t ask stupid questions.”

Unable to say anything more, Y/n let Wanda exit her room feeling evermore useless for hoping.

“Are you in love with him?” Y/n had gotten word that Vision asked Wanda out on a date. Fully expecting Wanda to say no, it was a huge shock for Y/n to find out Wanda said yes.

While hiding in Wanda’s room, away from all the prying eyes, the red head sighed as she got off Y/n’s lap. “I said yes to one date Y/n. It’s not like I’m in love with him.”

Wanda checked the mirror near her closet to see if any hickeys were visible. Once it was all clear, she crossed her arms and faced Y/n. “What’s up with you and all these questions? I told you all the rules in the beginning, yet you continue to ask.”

Y/n sighed as her head hung low in disappointment. “Would it be so wrong to think that maybe you’d have fallen in love with me?”

Wanda’s breath caught in her throat. While she knew Y/n liked her more than the average fuck, she hadn’t really thought it was this extent. Not knowing how to answer, Y/n took the silence as enough.

“Whatever Wanda. You’re right. It’s a stupid question.” Y/n walked out of Wanda’s room this time and didn’t look back. What’s the point in asking if Wanda was never going to look at her that way?

Part Two

Taglist: @halobaby @arelyitsherec8 @blackxwidowsxwife @cristin-rjd @madamevirgo @trikruismybitch @paradiselost916 @mmmmokdok @morbid-gaymer @dailyavengering @itsnottilly @helloalycia @randomshyperson @tomy5girls @daenerys713 @ensorcellme @lezzzbehonesthere @imagine-reblog

@sighsam @olsensnpm @tquick99 @feolok @emilyprentisslittlewhore @mvddison99 @iamapotato @yuhloversxx @mjaudrey @upsidedowndanvers @somewhatgreatexpectations @wandavixen @magicallymaximoff @username23345 @coollemonsaresour @littlewinchester15 @aimezvousbrahms @afuckingshituniverse @am-just-a-cosmic-joke-to-me

@ohmygooddamnbisexualmood @diaryoflife @s7uts @newyork1432 @the-anxious-stargazer @hello-mtf @marvelousbelladonna @ima-gi–na-tion @obsessed-with-wandamaximoff @the-camilucha

@itsnottilly @171611 @kaitlynroseb @daisybri7 @drpepperobsessed @bemyvitamin @musicinourlips @marvelousbelladonna @gingerbreadcookieforlife @xastrydx @chasethemoon @naixia00 @lostandsearching @stupidsapphicsstuff @haechanana @the-camilucha @severepeanutartisanhands @owloftheshadows @somewhatgreatexpectations @ywuen @mixed-fandom-mess @loomontoia @ilovemarvelwomen @coxmicbabygirl @cyanide-mustard @mrs-avenger3000 @prentisshoe @andrea-stark @simpforwandanat @abimess @randomshyperson @yourtaletotell @magically-queer-stuff

@imapotatao @iliketozoneout @maximoffbrossupremacy@olsensnpm @psychadelichues @whitelotus00 @taliiiaasteria @tynix @autorasexy @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @hiiraya

@reginassweetheart @milkeeteaa

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #no happy ending #angst #no part two #Don't Ask Stupid Questions #mionemymind #Friends with benefits trope #marvel #Don't Say Something Stupid

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amongemeraldclouds · 3 months

Text

Firewhiskey Confessions

After drinking to cope with your heartbreak, you find a reliable confidante to spill your guts to. Except, he is not who he seems.

Soft!Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Warning: alcohol, fluff, no use of y/n

Author’s note: Just a silly idea, this is unserious. Official entry for @thatdammchickennugget's Hogmarch challenge, prompt 2.

✿ Masterlist | 810 words

I never drank. Obviously, anyone can do what they want with their kidneys. I just didn’t like the idea of slurring my words or tilting gravity for fun, and I preferred to keep my mind sharp.

And yet, my world had tilted anyway without alcohol to blame.

As for my sharp mind? Well, here at Mattheo’s birthday party, all that precious sharp mind has done is hack away at my heart. So screw it. I need a drink.

I grab a shot of firewhiskey as a tray passes by and down it in one gulp, wincing. Well, no one drinks alcohol for its taste. I shake it off and move to the nearest tray for another shot.

Five shots in, I feel flushed and ready for gravity to tilt, a familiar occurrence at this point. I sneak off to another room when I see Mattheo greeting his guests, laughter pealing and glasses clinking. Everyone is having a great time. Yay!

In the quiet of the receiving area, I wrap my arm across a coated gentleman for support. “Avoiding the party too, huh?”

When he doesn’t reply, I continue. “Well, don’t worry. I’m not judging you. You see I,” I say, pointing at myself for emphasis, “am avoiding Mattheo. Why did I come to his party only to avoid him, you ask? Well one might say, I don’t make very smart decisions.”

I blink, trying to catch my train of thought.

“You seem to be a very good listener,” I ponder, bringing my face closer to his shoulder since he’s too tall for me to reach his ear. “Can I tell you a secret? But ssshhhh you can’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.”

“I’m in love with Mattheo Riddle and I screwed it all up. Last week, he kissed me during a game of spin the bottle and I just knew there was nothing friendly about the kiss. So what did I do? Confess my long harbored feelings for my best friend like an emotionally intelligent woman?”

“Pssh, nah,” I wave it off.

“Remember, I don’t make smart decisions. What I did was ignore him for a week and then act like nothing happened. By the time I stopped ignoring him, he already had a girlfriend so I’m avoiding him again. I’ll spare you the details, but she’s wonderful. Can’t even hate her if I tried. They’re going to make gorgeous pureblood babies and live happily ever after. I’m so happy for them, but why couldn’t it have been me?” I hiccup.

“Answer me,” I poke at his side.

Instead, I hear an amused voice behind me. “Why are you talking to a coat?”

“I’m not talking to a coat, you’re talking to a coat,” I turn and point at…oh, Mattheo.

“Darling, why are you drinking?” He says, moving towards me.

I blink. “Why do you think I’m talking to a coat?”

“Because you are,” he deadpans.

Oh. I step back and take a good look at my companion. I sway and Mattheo catches me. “Why do you hang your coats on mannequins instead of racks like everyone else?”

“In case you didn’t notice, I live in a mansion. Not like everyone else either,” he explains patiently like he’s talking to a child.

“Come on, you’re drunk. Let’s take you to my room to rest,” he says guiding me.

I focus my attention on staying upright. When we reach his room, he helps me lay down his bed and hands me a glass of water to help me sober up.

“How much of that did you hear?” I ask when my mind clears up a little.

“Do you want the truth or do you want to save yourself from embarrassment?” He asks.

I groan and bury my head in my hands.

He places a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Well if you must know, I don’t have very friendly feelings towards you either, it’s more than that. But when you started ignoring me, I thought you didn’t like me.”

I look at him then and tilt my head, confused.

“Darling, if you stopped avoiding me, I would have very easily told you that I’m only fake dating to help save a friend from a toxic ex-boyfriend,” he explains.

“Wait,” I feel the gears in my head spinning. It’s rusty, but we’re getting there. “So you don’t have a girlfriend and you’re in love with me too?”

“In short, yes,” he says gently.

“Huh,” I grin. “That worked out well, I should drink more.”

“Absolutely not,” Mattheo protests. And then, “really? That’s your takeaway?” He shakes his head, covering me with the blanket.

I close my eyes with a satisfied smile and sink into the soft, cozy sheets. As I drift off to sleep, I distantly hear Mattheo say, “get rest, we’ll talk more tomorrow,” and faintly feel him kiss my forehead.

#hogmarch challenge #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo x you #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo x y/n #mattheoxreader #harry potter fanfiction #slytherin boys #hp fanfic #amongemeraldcloudswrites

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probably-writing-x · 10 months

Text

Missing Piece.

Summary: can you do conklin!reader x conrad where since she’s the oldest sibling, laurel had so much expectations for her and she held a lot of responsibility to the point where she couldn’t even enjoy being a kid. this is gonna sound sad but let’s say conrad chose belly over her but he was really just confused about what he wants which was reader but since her and belly are so similar, he chose belly and the reader had a big argument that led to her being the bad guy and all the stress caused her to just leave cousins and cut contact with everyone. Flash forward like 2 years ( reader is in college and everyone else is beginning college soon ) reader comes back to cousins and everyone is shocked to see she has a son 😭 it doesn’t have to be conrad’s i was thinking it could be like an ex boyfriends or one night stand’s BUT yeah she comes back with a whole kid and she’s so grown now. ( you can add a lil stepdad conrad if you want 😮‍💨 )

Warnings: Discussions of toxic family relations, mentions of unplanned pregnancy

Author’s Note: I’m sorry this is so long but I took this idea and RAN with it! Hope y’all enjoy plz plz plz let me know what you think

You always knew how your little sister Belly had felt about Conrad when you were all growing up. For as long as you could remember, she’d been head over heels for him. She laughed a little harder at his jokes, remembered a little more about everything he said. She loved him.

You weren’t exactly sure when your feelings for Conrad had started, however. He’d always just been a friend. The boy you spent every summer with as the two of you were responsible for babysitting the rest. He’d always just been Conrad. But lately that had felt like it was changing.

The worst part about it all? You couldn’t even tell him how you felt. For the fear of breaking your little sisters heart was worse than letting your own break right in front of you.

“Are you even listening to me (y/l/n)?” Conrad stretches out a leg to kick you from where he sat on the other end of the couch and you look up from your book to see him.

“Um,” You clear your throat, “No, I didn’t hear a word you said.”

He rolls his eyes at you, “I asked if you were coming to the party tonight.”

“Oh, yeah, I hadn’t thought about it,” You shrug, “Is everyone going?”

He shrugs his shoulders, “I haven’t asked everyone. I’ve asked you.”

You smile in return, “Yeah, sure, I’ll come.”

He stretches forward and grabs the book from your hands, “What are you reading?”

“Con!” You exclaim, reaching over his legs to try to grab the book from his hands, “Give it back.”

He laughs and holds it high over his head, away from your reach as you fall forward, hand catching yourself on his chest.

You look up to his eyes and he’s looking down at you with a smirk on his lips.

“Can you please give me my book back?”

“I could,” He returns, the pages still tight between his grip.

“Okay, will you?”

“What’s in it for me?”

There’s something about the way he says the words. Hoarse in his throat, almost catching on his tongue, foreign tone to hear from his lips. You feel the heat increasing in your cheeks and try to ignore it.

“Nothing, just give it back,” You groan, stretching far up enough that your fingertips brush the pages and he eventually releases the book from his grip.

You compose yourself and return to your side of the couch, trying to ignore the deep heat coursing through your cheeks.

“Hey!” Belly’s voice sounds from the doorway as she comes in, “I’m not interrupting am I?”

“No, no, of course not,” Conrad stands up quickly from the couch, “Are you ready to go?”

Belly nods, “Yeah, sure. Are you coming (y/n)?”

You force a small smile in their direction, “I’ll be there in a bit.”

“(Y/n) I really need your help tonight,” Your Mom, Laurel walks into the room in their absence, “We’ve got so much to set up for tomorrow so I’ll need your help with it all.”

You set your book down and look up at her, “Actually I think there’s a party tonight that everyone’s going to so I sort of had plans.”

She brushes you off, busy looking at something on her phone, “Well just cancel your plans.”

“It’s a party, Mom, everyone’s going,” You roll your eyes, “Can’t I just help tomorrow morning?”

“Can you please not make this more difficult than it needs to be?” She shakes her head at you, “You’re eighteen now, aren’t you too old for those kinds of things?”

“Right, yeah, eighteen is the cut off point for having fun,” You stand up from the couch.

“(Y/n) wait!” She calls after you, “I need you to go to-“

“The store, yeah, I just got the list,” You wave your phone in your hand, “(Y/n) Conklin at your service.”

Your relationship with Laurel has never been ideal. You were the oldest of the three of you and so her expectations for you seemed far beyond what she wanted from the others. She was more patient with them, more understanding. You didn’t get that. They got a childhood and you got the responsibility of looking after them. They went to the fair? You had to make sure they all came back in one piece. They went to a party? You had to be the designated driver and make sure neither of them drank too much. Something important going on? They got to be kids whilst you dealt with it like an adult. You grew up too fast and she was to blame for that - her expectations tainting any form of childhood you could’ve held onto.

You step outside and start walking towards your car, pausing when you hear the sound of laughter from the others. Conrad has Belly in his arms, lifting her up from the ground as the other boys try to grab her legs. He’s holding her tight, a bright smile on his face when he looks at her. They’d had that tradition for years. Since you were first coming to Cousins. But you were never a part of it. Because whilst they grabbed Belly and ran her to the pool, you had to help your Mom carry in the luggage and set up everyone’s rooms. Traditions, right?

“(Y/n)!” Jeremiah yells over to you when he catches sight of you, “Are you coming later? We thought we could go to the store and get some drinks before we go.”

He walks over to you and the other boys follow behind.

“Um,” You drag a hand through your hair, glancing at the house, “I can’t come tonight, I’ve got stuff to help my Mom with here.”

“Oh come on, you’re so boring,” Steven groans, “You never come to parties.”

Right, because I’m too busy picking up the slack for you and Belly.

“Yeah, sorry, Laurel’s orders,” You shrug, “Maybe next time.”

“Can you at least stop at the store and use your fake? Thank youuuuu,” Steven yells back as he heads back towards the pool.

You roll your eyes, forcing a smile to the Fisher brothers, “I’ll see you guys later.”

Conrad frowns a little at you, “You sure you’re not coming?”

You shrug your shoulders, “I’ll be designated driver, you can just call me when you need picking up.”

He smiles faintly and watches as you head towards your car, your shoulders dropping as you let out a sigh. Laurel’s orders.

———

You spend the night helping your Mom and Susannah set up for their charity event before you eventually get a text from Steven asking you to come get them.

You drive across the town to the other end and pull up in front of the house, texting them to say you’re outside.

Only Jeremiah and Steven step out though.

“Thanks for coming,” Jere smiles, sitting in the back seat, “You’re a lifesaver.”

You frown at the two of them, “Where’s the rest?”

Steven laughs, “Don’t get us started.”

“What’s going on?” You ask, glancing back in the mirror to catch Jeremiah’s face, watching as his jaw clenches.

“Conrad and Belly disappeared together,” Steven explains, “They were all over each other, and then the next minute we couldn’t find either of them.”

“So-“ You clear your throat, words seemingly catching on your tongue, “So you don’t know where they are?”

“They’re together, they’re fine,” Steven shrugs, “But god I’m dreading hearing that story tomorrow.”

You swallow the lump in your throat and lock eyes with Jeremiah who just shrugs his shoulders at you. He was your counterpart in this. Him in love with Belly despite his brother. You in love with Conrad despite your sister.

“Can we go?” Steven nudges you, “I’m starving.”

The three of you drive back in relative silence apart from Steven hiccuping every five seconds, until you reach the house and you pull up on the driveway. You make sure to shut the door quietly behind you so that Laurel wouldn’t complain in the morning and the two boys disappear into the kitchen.

“(Y/n) can I eat some of your-“ Steven calls out loudly.

You stick your head around the doorframe of the kitchen and shush him, whispering back, “Eat whatever you want as long as it’s not the food for tomorrow.”

He salutes in your direction and you roll your eyes, walking through into the lounge and collapsing down onto one of the couches. Your Mom would kill you if Belly didn’t come home tonight, and especially if you didn’t have any clue where she was.

So whilst the boys eat and reside to their bedrooms, you wait.

It’s around three am when you hear the door open again and two hushed voices coming through into the silent house.

“Is everyone asleep?” You hear Belly whisper and you glance up from the couch.

That’s when you see it. His hand intertwined with hers, his flannel shirt around her shoulders, both of their eyes alight.

“I think so,” Conrad hisses in return as the two of them walk towards the stairs.

She steps up ahead of him but he pauses on the bottom step, glancing into the lounge where his eyes lock with yours. You don’t look away and neither does he, so you watch as he swallows the lump in his throat, his hand dropping from its grip on Belly’s.

You look away then, turning over on the couch so that your back faces them. It’s such a quick response isn’t it? Five seconds and now your throat feels like it can’t breathe air, and your eyes are pricked with tears threatening to spill. You let out a shaky breath and grip firmly onto the cushion beneath your head, your chest feeling tighter and tighter.

———

The following morning you wake up to the sound of voices in the kitchen and you groan at the sudden realisation of how uncomfortable the couch really is.

When you walk through, it’s your brother and sister.

“She’s alive!” Steven laughs, “What happened to you last night?”

You drag a hand over your face, “I-“ Your eyes shift to Belly who’s stood with the faintest smile over her face as she sips her coffee, the look of a girl in love, “I was going to stay awake to make sure Belly got back safe but I must’ve… I don’t know, I must’ve fallen asleep before she got back.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, we were pretty late,” She clears her throat, “I mean, I was- we weren’t-“

“Come on Bels everyone saw you and Conrad together,” Steven scoffs, “You didn’t exactly make it discrete.”

“Well, I-“ Belly laughs a little, “We just-“

“I don’t think I want to hear this,” Steven groans, “Please spare me the details.”

He takes a cup of coffee from the counter and walks out, his shoulders hanging low.

You take a deep breath and turn back to your sister, pausing for a second. Something about her seems so different - like she’s a whole new person. One piece of her life fallen into place and she was… happy. You swallow the lump in your throat.

“So, you and Conrad,” You mention, your back turned to her as you pull out a pancake mix from the cupboard.

“I don’t even know how it happened,” She shakes her head, “I mean, you all know I’ve had a crush on him since I could remember and then he told me he wanted us to be together and I-“

“He wants you to be together?” You half-choke out the words, your hands feeling weak, your heart numb.

“That’s what he said,” She nods, “We still need to talk about things but yesterday seemed pretty official.”

You blink a couple of times and take a deep breath, pulling your shoulders back a little, “That’s great, Bels, I’m happy for you.”

Before you can say anything more, Conrad walks through into the kitchen, pausing when he sees the two of you.

“Oh, um, morning,” He offers a small smile, letting out a breath.

You nod in greeting, “I’m going to leave you two to it.”

“(Y/n)…” Conrad speaks quietly as you go to leave, his hand reaching out towards you.

You look up at him and there’s a shift in his eyes, a difference in the way he looks at you. Like he knows everything and nothing about what he’s done.

“Never mind,” He shakes his head.

And you’re gone.

———

You don’t see them for the rest of the day. In fact, you don’t see anyone. You go down to the beach at some point in the afternoon and swim in the flat waves and return to the house hours later with damp hair. Your Mom makes a comment about how you need to look presentable for this evening.

You’ve showered and are sat on your bed wrapped in a baggy hoodie and shorts straightening your hair when there’s a knock on your door.

“(Y/n) can I come in?”

It’s Jeremiah.

“Yeah, of course,” You shift on your seat and he steps inside.

“I just wanted to see how you were,” He perches himself on the edge of the bed, looking at you through the mirror.

“I’m okay, this event should be good,” You lie through a smile, fixing the hair around your face.

“(Y/n)…” He frowns at you, “You don’t have to lie.”

“Wh-“

“He broke your heart,” He confirms for you, “And she broke mine.”

You laugh a little, “Well that makes us sound sad, Jere.”

He smiles gently, softly, “It’s okay for you to be upset about it. You don’t have to put on that facade like you normally do.”

“I just-“ You shake your head, “I can’t be upset. I’m happy for Belly, she’s loved him since forever.”

“(Y/n),” Jeremiah waits until you turn around to face him, “You’ve spent your life being happy for Belly, it’s okay for you to let yourself once wish that you were happy for you.”

You look down at the ground and back up, shaking your head a little as tears pool at your eyes, “I just really thought it would be me.”

Instantly, Jere jumps from the bed and hurries over to you, engulfing you in his arms as you bury your head into his chest.

“I did too,” He mumbles as he runs a hand up and down your back.

“God, I’m so stupid,” You laugh, dragging your hands under your eyes, “I need to stop this before tonight.”

He pulls back and holds both of your shoulders, “You’re going to get dressed into your best dress, and you’re going to look beautiful, and we’re going to drink, and drink some more, and we’re both going to forget all about last night. How does that sound?”

You nod your head, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Jeremiah grins, “Now cheer up before you make me cry too.”

You laugh softly, watching him disappear before you let out a shaky breath, turning back to yourself in the mirror and setting your shoulders back to fix your posture.

You could do this.

———

By the time you come downstairs, the house is flooded with people all in attendance for the event. The garden doors are open and people have spilled outside, all mingling between each other as Susannah goes around to greet everyone that she can.

You take a glass of champagne from the tray in the kitchen and tip it back until the liquid empties down your throat, and you grimace a little at the taste.

“Woah, take it easy Conklin,” Steven raises his brows at you as you refill your glass, “You never drink.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a party isn’t it?” You shrug your shoulders, tipping back another glass.

“Who are you and what have you done with my sister?” Steven laughs.

You go to respond but your eyes fall on the pair just across the room. The girl’s fingers fixing the bow tie around the boy’s neck, her hands settling onto his chest soon after, a smile on her face. Belly and Conrad.

“They seem pretty-“

“Yeah, I know,” You respond quickly, “Made for each other.”

“I was going to say full-on,” Steven grimaces, “It’s weird.”

You shrug, “Maybe they’re happy.”

You swallow the lump in your throat and try to ignore the tightening in your chest, sure that you could leave at that sight alone.

How could you do this? How could you be normal with them when it was like this? How could you spend every day with them?

“I can’t be here,” You shake your head, “I need some air.”

You grab a bottle of tequila from the liquor display and take it with you outside, sipping from it before you’ve even got to the garden.

It’s colder as the sun is already setting but another sip of tequila seems to take the edge off just a little, and its already going to your head.

You start making your way around the perimeter of the pool, your steps a little off balance as you teeter across the edge.

“(Y/n)?” Belly’s voice calls from the doorway of the house, “What are you doing out here?”

Your foot spins you to face her and you catch sight of her at the door, a black jacket wrapped around her shoulders. The sight makes your heart sink into your stomach, churning your insides.

“Come on, Mom wants you to mingle wit-“

“I don’t care what Mom wants,” You reply harshly, swigging back the tequila once again.

“Wh- what are you talking about?”

“I’ve done my bit, okay? I’ve done more than my bit. She can leave me alone for one night,” You roll your eyes, “Just one fucking night.”

“What’s going on with you (y/n)? This isn’t like you,” She wraps her arms around herself, the jacket tightening across her shoulders.

“Is that… is that his jacket?”

The rational part of you is unsure as to why you even ask it. But the tequila is almost a third gone now, and you’re not sure the rational is what’s in control anymore.

“We- yeah, he gave it to me to come outside,” Belly confirms, “What’s that got to do with-“

“Did you know I liked him?” You interrupt.

“(Y/n) what-“

“Answer the question,” Your words are harsh, too harsh probably, “When you kissed him last night, when he told you he wanted to be with you, did you know that I liked him?”

“Come on, you know how I’ve felt about Conrad, how I feel about him,” Belly shakes her head, “This isn’t ab-“

“About me? Right, of course it’s not,” You scoff, stepping towards her, “Because god forbid things don’t work out the way Belly wants them to, right? God forbid we’re not all making sure that you’re happy and that things are going your way. God forbid anyone else get a fucking happy ending!”

You know you’re raising your voice, you can tell from the way she flinches as you speak. But that doesn’t seem to matter anymore either.

“You wanted him and so you got him. And me and Jere? We don’t matter, do we? We’re just thrown to the curb so that you can be fucking happy,” You half laugh, “I gave up everything for you, Belly. For you and for Steven, I gave up my whole fucking childhood. I couldn’t be a child because you two needed to be them instead. So I grew up, I stopped going out so I could do chores for Mom, chores that you missed because you were too busy with Taylor or at volleyball or failing your fucking classes. I did it all! I gave up everything. And the one thing it felt like I had was… him.”

You choke out the last word and feel the tears prick at your eyes.

“Conrad was the only one that understood, the only one who knew what it was like to feel responsible for your asses,” You scoff, “And… I gave that up too.”

“You didn’t give him up, (y/n), Conrad chose to be with me!” Belly defends, her voice breaking.

By now, the small crowd in the garden has started to increase to hear what was going on, people slowly starting to trail out of the door until you see the familiar faces.

“Girls, can we try doing this somewhere else?” Susannah steps outside, trying to smile for the guests gathering around.

“(Y/n)!” Laurel hisses, hurrying down to where the two of you stood, “Can you control yourself please? There are guests here!”

You look at her and let out a scoff, “My fault, of course.”

“You should know better,” She mutters to you, faking a polite smile for the people watching.

“Yeah, maybe I should, Mom,” You nod, fighting back your tears, “Excuse me.”

You step away from her and Belly and push your way across the garden, towards the side of the house, past the outdoor shower.

“(Y/n)!” Conrad’s voice approaches from behind you.

You keep walking in your direction, refusing to be interrupted until you feel the grip of his arm around your wrist, turning you around.

“Get off me, Conrad,” You pull away from him but his grip remains.

“Talk to me (Y/n)!” He exclaims, “Talk to me, tell me what’s going on.”

“Tell you what’s going on?” You laugh, “Like you don’t fucking know!”

“l do- What do you want me to say?” He looks frantically between your eyes, dropping his hand from your arm.

“I want you to tell me that it’s Belly you want,” You snap, “I want you to tell me that you feel the same way about her as she feels about you.”

“It’s- I mean… it’s complicated.”

“It fucking shouldn’t be!” You yell back, “You chose her, you should know how you feel about her.”

“Chose her? What… you…”

“Yeah, you fucking chose her!” You push his chest, “I was right fucking here Conrad! I was right here! I’ve always been here,” Your voice cracks and tears spill over your cheeks.

Conrad holds your hands over his chest, like he wants to hold onto a piece of you, “(Y/n) I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t know,” You step back, sniffing, “Of course you didn’t.”

“(Y/n)…” His voice trails off as he sees you, the broken version of you that he seemed to cause.

“It’s always been her, hasn’t it? She was Laurel’s favourite daughter, she was the more popular one at school, she’s Susannah’s favourite, she’s… she’s yours. And I was there to just… drive her home, cook her dinner, let her cry, buy her shit to make her feel better. I was just… there.”

He doesn’t speak, watching the way you seem to shrink into yourself at the words.

“I’m never going to be good enough, am I? For Laurel, for this family… for you?”

“(Y/n) please…”

“I’m sorry, I just… I need to…” You clear your throat, dragging a hand through your hair before you hurry inside.

———

You don’t get much sleep that night, instead running over a thousand options in your head before settling on the only one that makes any sense - that you need to go.

By five, you’ve packed up your things into a bag, checked over everything twice to make sure nothing was left behind, and grabbed your keys to head downstairs. The house is silent, and littered with the fancy aftermath of the party. You glance behind you once more and step outside, fleeing towards your car.

“(Y/n)!” Even the sound of your name rings through a trauma from the night before.

You turn around against the bright morning light to see Conrad jogging towards you.

“What are you doing?” He asks you, a frown on his face.

“I’m…” You clear your throat, “I’m just heading out.”

He looks down at the bag in your hand and his shoulders drop, “You’re leaving.”

You take a deep breath, “I… I have to Con.”

“(Y/n) please,” He reaches forward and takes one of your hands into his, “I need you to know, I- I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never wanted that.”

You pull your hand from his grip and cup the side of his face, your thumb brushing his cheek, “Con, I know you didn’t. But, I can’t stay here like this. I can’t be here. Okay?”

He looks away from you momentarily and back up to your eyes, his seemingly losing their hope.

You brush away the strands of hair around his forehead, “I’ll see you around, Fisher.”

—— 2 Years Later ——

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Carmen asks you, perched on the edge of your bed, “I mean, seriously, how long has it been?”

“Two years,” You confirm, folding up another top to put into your bag, “And I think it’s a terrible idea, but I’ve got to bite the bullet eventually.”

“How do you think they’re going to react?” He persists, “Do you think they’ll be mad?”

“Um,” You take a deep breath, “Maybe. I think it’ll be a shock more than anything. I just, I want them to see me, you know? And, look, Jere never did anything wrong. He’s reached out to be a thousand times and I want to be there for him today - that’s all I care about.”

“And who can be mad at a little face like this?” Carmen looks down at the small bundle wrapped in his crib, peacefully asleep for now.

Your son had been born two months ago. You and Carmen had been dating through your first year of college before you fell pregnant. You’d split up only a few weeks before you found out you were expecting, but the two of you had managed to successfully co-parent so far. He came to all of your appointments, asked far too many questions, slept on the spare room in your dorm when he was worried about you, and had held your hand all through the delivery. Since then, you’d managed to both fit your schedules around taking care of your baby. He worked weekends and you worked evenings, he stayed in your dorm when he knew you needed to sleep and you both avoided a fair bit of socialising so that you could be there for your son. It worked. And, more than anything, you were the happiest you’d been.

“Alright little man, be good for Mommy okay?” Carmen lifts up your son, Kylo, from his bed, “I’ll see you soon.”

He sets the baby into his car seat and fixes the straps around his chest.

“I’ll help you get him in the car,” Carmen encourages, following behind you as the two of you leave the dorm and head down towards the parking lot.

He fixes the car seat into its slot in the car, checking it twice before he steps back.

“Alright, I’ll let you know if it’s a disaster and I’ll be driving back tonight,” You laugh a little, “And if you get an SOS text from me please put your foot down and get there as soon as you can.”

Carmen chuckles, squeezing your arm, “It’s going to be fine, okay? They love you and they miss you.”

You nod, “Let’s hope so.”

“Drive safe,” He steps back, letting you get into the drivers seat.

“Wish me luck,” You smile, waving goodbye as you reverse out of the parking spot.

It had been two years since you’d seen the Fishers, and even your own family. You’d left that day at the beach house and not returned. There were countless calls from your Mom, and Steven, and Susannah and Jere. But nothing from Conrad and Belly. You’d moved your things out of your home shortly after and moved into college as early as you could. It has been good for you.

The first big milestone was when you didn’t go home for thanksgiving. All of the family would be at Cousins and you told your Mom you couldn’t make it. The same again at Christmas. Eventually, a few months after, Laurel had stopped trying. She knew you needed your space, as much as she resented you for it. You’d kept in touch with Steven, and Jeremiah still spoke to you as much as he could. But none of them knew about Kylo. You weren’t ready for that yet. This was your son, you’d done it without them then and you could still do it without them. But he deserved to have them in his life. So, when Jeremiah had invited you to his graduation, you’d agreed.

It couldn’t be as bad as it was two years ago, right?

———

As soon as you arrive in Cousins, you stop at the hotel room that you’d booked for the two of you. Sure, you were okay with being here, but that didn’t mean you wanted to stay at the house.

You shoot Jeremiah a text to tell him you’re near and he tells you he’ll be waiting outside. You text Carmen to tell him you’re already considering turning back.

There was just something so strange about seeing these streets again, these houses, these places that held so many memories. And, as you near the water, the house that held more memories for you than anywhere in the world.

True to his word, as you pull up into the driveway, Jeremiah is waiting on the steps for you.

He hurries straight over to the car before you’ve even stepped out.

“Oh my god it’s so good to see you!” He grins, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“You too Jere, I’ve missed you,” You squeeze him in return, “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Wh-“ His face drops a little when he catches sight of the seats in the back of your car, “Why do you have a-“

“Um, yeah,” You laugh a little, “I might’ve forgot to mention I was bringing a plus one.”

You open the side door to the back seats and unclamp the car seat from the chair, lifting it out.

“Jere, this is Kylo,” You let out a shaky breath, “My son.”

Jeremiah’s face drops, dumbfounded, “Oh m- I mean I- Congratulations! He looks exactly like you.”

You chuckle, “I’m sorry I didn’t mention him, I just didn’t know how to say it over a text.”

Jeremiah shakes his head, “Don’t apologise. Come on, nobody’s home, you can come inside.”

He takes your baby bag from you as you carry Kylo into the empty house, a flood of memories hitting you as you do. Nothing had changed here and yet everything had changed with you.

“Do you feel like you’re ready to see everyone?” Jeremiah asks, sitting down beside you on the couch.

“Not in the slightest,” You shake your head, “But I can’t wait any longer.”

“You’re right,” Jeremiah nods, “From what I’ve heard, they’re all just ready for you to come home.”

You smile, lifting Kylo out of his seat, “I’m ready for him to have a family too.”

Jeremiah wraps an arm around your shoulder and squeezes.

“Oh shit, I think that might be their-“ He stops himself, “Yeah, that’s them. Are you okay?”

You take a deep breath and shift your position on the couch, “I’m okay.”

You were far from it. You were sure your mind was racing a million miles a minute, and every muscle in your body was tense. You were sure Kylo could feel it too, whinging in your arms. Part of you wanted to run, but you’d done enough of that two years ago. Not anymore.

“Hey, Jere, who the hell is parked in the-“ It’s Steven’s voice first, “Oh my fucking god!”

He runs into the lounge and freezes instantly, his eyes widening, his mouth agape.

“Hey Steven,” You smile, standing up from the couch.

“You- uh- you…”

Your Mom, Belly and Susannah walk in shortly after, all of them stopping just as your brother had.

“(Y/n)…” Belly looks at you like you’re a piece she’s been missing, “It’s so good to see you.”

“Is this…” Laurel looks down at the boy in your arms.

“This is Kylo, my son,” You look up at her, “Your grandson.”

Her face both lifts and falls at the same time, unsure of what to say.

“Can I?” Laurel asks you, looking down at him, and back to you.

“Of course,” You hand him over, fixing his head into her arms.

Laurel gasps at the contact, smiling gently down at the boy as her eyes fill with tears.

“I’m-“ You clear your throat, no apologies, “I know it’s been a while. But a lot has changed, and I want you to be a part of his life. I want him to have his family.”

Belly steps forward and stretches her arms out to you, stepping once more to engulf you in her arms, her head burying on your shoulder.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” She whispers, sobbing a little into your neck as she tightens her grip.

You smile and hug her just as tightly back, “Me too. I’ve missed you.”

“Alright alright don’t leave me out,” Steven groans, squashing both of you in a hug of his own, towering taller than both of you now.

Belly pulls back and sniffs and you lift your hands to her cheeks, wiping her eyes.

“We’re okay, okay?” You nod at her, the same phrase you used to tell her when the two of you ever argued as kids.

Belly nods, squeezing your hands, “Okay.”

“Oh honey,” Laurel passes Kylo to Susannah who takes him with a bright smile, before your Mom turns to you, “I don’t even know what to say. I had no idea that you… I mean I didn’t even… I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”

You shake your head, “It was me too. We both needed the space, right? We all did.”

She shakes her head too, “I’m just so sorry, I should’ve been there.”

You smile, “You’re here now.”

She steps forward and hugs you too, feeling so much smaller against you than she ever did before, perhaps you just feeling taller.

“You’re a Mom,” Her voice breaks against you, “I’m a Grandma.”

You chuckle and step back from her, “So much to catch you up on.”

Susannah hands Kylo over to Belly as he gets passed around to the waiting arms and she wraps you in a hug of your own, whispering something about how this family had missed you and it hadn’t been the same without you there.

But there was still one piece missing.

You sit down on the couch and Laurel and Susannah sit on either side of you. Belly, Jere and Steven all sit on the coffee table across from you as if they can’t possibly be too far away from you.

“I can’t believe you’re back in Cousins,” Belly smiles, “This is surreal.”

You chuckle, “Yeah, it’s weird. I just couldn’t miss watching Jere graduate.”

He grins, “I’m just glad you accepted the offer.”

Belly passes Kylo over to Steven who holds him as if he’s the most fragile object in the world.

You laugh a little at the sight, pulling out your phone and snapping a photo of the pair. You’d send it to Carmen later - a little sign of ‘hey, my family haven’t completely disowned me’.

“Okay, I have to ask the questions,” Laurel squeezes your arm, “How did this happen?”

“Well, Kylo was born about two months ago. I was dating a boy called Carmen in my first year of college, possibly the nicest guy ever but we realised we were better as friends. And a bit later I found out I was pregnant. He was there the whole time, don’t worry, and we’re surprisingly really good at co-parenting,” You explain, “I know it’s not conventional but, god, I think I was made to be a Mom.”

Steven laughs, “Yeah you got that from raising us three idiots,” He glances to Jere and Belly.

You grin. You’d never considered that when you were growing up. That mothering those three, losing so much of your childhood. It was setting you up for this. For mothering your own child, for bringing him up in your own way.

“He’s a pretty chill baby too,” You comment, “Like sleeps through the night, only wakes up once for a bottle. He even sits into some of my classes.”

“You’re still carrying on with college?” Laurel looks at you slightly shocked.

“Of course, I’ll just graduate with a toddler on my hip,” You beam down at your son in Steven’s arms, “I don’t need to lose my life because I’m taking care of him.”

Laurel looks at you with tears in her eyes before dropping her head to rest on your shoulder, like she’s trying to keep as close to you as she can. You don’t tense under her touch.

———

Later in the day, Jere, Belly and Steven have gone to the store for supplies and Susannah is setting up some bits for Jere’s graduation.

“Hey, do you need any help with anything?” You ask Laurel as she walks into the kitchen, “Kylo’s just had his bottle so I’m free if you need me to help.”

He’s strapped in a wrap to your chest napping against you.

“Oh god no you relax, we don’t need you to help,” Laurel encourages, “Sit down or something.”

“Come on Mom, I can help. What do you want me to do?”

She looks at you and sighs, “I think I spent 18 years asking you to do far too much, maybe I need to be making up for that.”

You clear your throat, “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“I know, I know it’s not,” She shakes her head, “I just… I don’t even feel like you’re my daughter anymore. You’re so grown up, it’s like… you’re too much of an adult to be mine.”

You nod, “Yeah, well, a lot changed.”

“I hate that things got to the point where you felt you had to leave. I mean, I know everything happened with Belly and Conrad but I was just as much to blame, wasn’t I?”

You run your hand over the wrap across your chest where Kylo lay, “I never got a chance to be a kid, Mom. Not properly. It felt like my whole life Id been running one step ahead of them all so that I could catch them before they fell, shaping my whole life around making sure that they were in line and okay and that I was doing enough for you and for them but also making sure my whole life was perfect so that you weren’t disappointed and… it was draining.”

Laurel looks at you with a pained expression, her shoulders dropping with the weight of realisation.

“I went to college to get away from every shitty feeling that all of that gave me. I got away to finally be my own person, for once in my life just think about me,” You smile, “And it was good for me. I healed. I went to a therapist, I cried, I figured out my shit. I’m a different person now but I’ll always be your daughter. And I want Kylo to have his grandma.”

“I want that too,” Laurel beams, “(Y/n) I… I know I never know how to say these things but I’m so proud of you, honestly.”

Before you can respond, the front door clicks open and your head whips around quickly, expectant of who could be walking through.

“He’s at work,” Laurel comforts you, “He’ll be back tonight.”

“I-“

“I’m still your Mom, I know these things.”

You laugh in response as the other three all come into the kitchen, carrying bags of groceries.

“Oooh here Kylo I got you a present,” Steven rummages through the bags to find what he was looking for and eventually pulls out a small brown teddy bear, “Just securing my spot as favourite uncle.”

You grin, taking the bear, “Thank you Uncle Steven.”

“Oooh, we’ve got the beer in the trunk,” Jeremiah reminds him.

“Shit, yeah, we’ll be right back!” Steven says and both of them hurry back out.

“Beer?” You raise your brows at Belly.

She laughs, looking down at the bags, “Yeah, Steven managed to get a fake.”

“Of course he did,” You shake your head, “Want some help unpacking?”

“No, no, I got it,” She encourages, “You’ve got your hands full.”

You wiggle both of your hands in front of her, “The perks of this thing is that both of my hands are free, Bels. Don’t tread on eggshells around me, honestly.”

“Okay, this one is light,” She pushes one bag towards you.

Both of you potter about in silence putting away their food and it’s as if neither of you wants to break the comfortable quiet. This was the most time you’d spent together in two years, and you felt like strangers to each other.

“So, how’s everything going with you?” You ask her, turning back to the kitchen island.

“I’m good,” She nods, “I’m not…” Belly clears her throat, “I’m not seeing anyone.”

You laugh, “Did you not know how to tell me?”

She smiles and hits your arm, “It’s awkward, okay?”

You chuckle at your sister, somehow catching such a glimpse of yourself in her expression.

“We actually… me and Conrad… we ended things not long after you left,” Belly clears her throat, “It was for the best.”

“Bels I didn’t…”

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t because of you. I just think Conrad never really knew what he wanted, and maybe I didn’t either. I thought I was in love with that boy since I could remember, but I don’t think that was love. It was just the idea of him.”

You nod, “Well, younger Belly would probably thank you for figuring that out. But, tell me, is there anyone new on the scene?”

Before she can respond, the boys come tumbling in the front door again and you watch her eyes follow Jeremiah as he moves towards you both. There’s a brightness in them, one you’d only seen in your own when you were with Conrad. That was the feeling she was looking for.

“Jeremiah?!” You mouth to her and Belly widens her eyes at you in warning to not say anything more.

You raise your hands in surrender but give her a somewhat approving look, one that makes her cheeks ignite.

This was a pocket of home that you’d missed. One you didn’t realise you needed. Your siblings, this house, your family. It would always be important to you. And something about it felt even more magical now that you got to experience it with Kylo.

———

You find yourself focused on the sound of the door as if you can wish it to come sooner. Though you’re not sure why. You want to see him but you have no idea what to say to him. You have so much to tell him but you’re not even sure he’ll want to see you. Did he still hate you? Had he ever hated you? Would he hate you for not being here, for leaving?

You busy yourself with fixing the blanket in Kylo’s car seat. Jere and Steven had just gone to collect your stuff from the hotel - you’d agreed to stay at the house now.

And then it goes.

The sound of keys in the door, the door closing behind a familiar pair of feet. Rushed steps up the stairs, a left turn until they’re coming towards you.

And then your bedroom door opens, and a single figure stands in the doorway, slightly breathless.

“I saw your car on the drive.”

You stop in your tracks, the car seat behind your legs.

“I saw your car in the drive and I-“ Conrad begins again, “You’re home.”

You don’t have a chance to respond as he strides over and hugs you as if you’re a lifeline. His head buries into you and his arms around you as if he’s been needing you for years. His eyes are closed against you and you feel him inhale as if your presence had knocked every breath from his lungs.

And for a moment you’re frozen.

Until your arms kick into gear and they throw themselves around him too, holding him just as tight like you’re the only things holding each other up.

You feel him shift against you, that sort of shocked pause.

“(Y/n)…” His voice is quiet as he pulls away from you, “Is this…”

You step to the side to let him go past you as Conrad crouches down to the floor, his whole body cautious.

“This is Kylo.”

“Kylo,” Conrad grins, “You always said that’s the name you wanted for a boy. Do you remember? When we went to the boardwalk and there was that name on the-“

“The leaderboard for the go karts,” You grin, “I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“I can’t believe you did too, you stuck to your word,” He smiles, talking softly as if he doesn’t want to disturb the tiny bundle looking up at him.

Conrad’s fingers are at either side of the car seat and Kylo reaches up to grip onto his thumb. Con laughs like a sort of gasp, as if it is choked in his throat.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” He half-whispers the words and you’re not sure at first if it’s to you or to the boy in front of him.

But you settle on it being both.

Conrad looks back at you and breaks into an even wider grin, standing back up, “Can you just… tell me everything.”

He sits himself down on your bed and you sit down beside him. And this is it. This the final bit of home you were waiting on.

You and Conrad. Him and you. The piece you’d been waiting for.

———

The following morning, you’re up early with Kylo. You carry him downstairs and go about fixing up a bottle for him, the two of you resting on the couch whilst he drinks.

There’s a text from Carmen on your phone.

Hope they don’t hate you too much x

You shoot back a quick response of reassurance and send him a photo of Kylo smiling at you from last night.

Just as Kylo finishes his bottle, there’s a sound from the stairs creaking as someone comes down.

“Morning,” It’s Conrad, dragging a hand over his eyes as he does.

“Hey,” You return softly, “Why are you up so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” He grumbles, still in a half asleep state.

He drops down onto the couch next to you and smiles at Kylo, reaching out a finger to tickle his chest.

“Hey, could you do me a favor?” You ask him, “I need to change his diaper but the bag’s upstairs.”

“Yeah sure, what’s it look like?”

“It’s a black one, not the one with the handle but with the straps, and it’s like-“ You pause as you notice him watching you more and more confused, blinking at your explanation, “Okay, I’ll get the bag. Can you just watch him for a second?”

“That’s much easier,” Conrad grins and shifts on the couch so that he can hold the baby in his arms.

You stand up and head towards the door, hurrying upstairs to find the bag.

When you come back down, Conrad has Kylo stretched across his legs, his little feet hitting Conrad’s stomach and his head resting against his knees. He’s smiling down at him and Kylo grins tiredly up, giggling when Conrad tickles under his arms.

“You’re a natural,” You grin, coming down to sit beside him.

He looks up at you and raises his brows, “You think?”

“Well, he seems to like you,” You point out, not wanting to disturb the moment between them.

Conrad wiggles his hands beneath Kylo’s head and lifts him up, looking at you, “Where do you want me to put him?”

You snap back into reality, “Oh, right, yeah I’ve got a mat.”

He lowers the baby down onto it and then looks at you like he’s awaiting further instruction, “Come on, tell me what to do.”

“You want to change his diaper?” You laugh, “I can do it.”

“I’ve never done one before. I want to learn.”

“Alright, here,” You hand him over the wipes and a fresh diaper.

He’s far too slow when he starts and Kylo starts to wriggle on the mat, impatient of course.

“Does this thing not stay still?” Conrad grumbles, tongue between his lips as he concentrates on the task, his face grimacing just a little at the state of the dirty diaper.

“Put that one in here,” You hold out a diaper bag for him to dispose of it, “Alright, now wipe and new diaper. But make sure he’s covered - he’s a boy so that stuff can go everywhere.”

Conrad’s eyes widen as he takes your instruction, fixing the new diaper on - just a little wonky.

“There we go, fresh as a daisy,” He grins proudly at his accomplishment, “I think I could be pretty good at this.”

“Well that’s task two - making him laugh being task one,” You nod, “Not bad, Fisher.”

He lifts him back up onto the couch and lays him down beside you, Conrad sitting on the floor just in front of him like he’s already prepared to catch him.

He lets Kylo grab at the end of his hoodie, laughing at him before he turns to you.

“So, how does it all work? Are you… with someone?”

You shake your head, “We split up before I found out I was pregnant. But we’re really good friends, so it works. He helps out a lot.”

Conrad nods, “Well that sounds healthy.”

“What can I say? I’m mature now,” You joke.

“I think you always were,” He scoffs, “Especially compared to the rest of us.”

Both of you fall silent again and Kylo fills the space by gargling in some form of baby talk.

“What about you?” You clear your throat, drawing your legs to your chest on the couch, “Are you seeing anyone Mr Stanford?”

He scoffs, looking down at his hands, “No, no, I think I needed to stay away from all that for a little while. Clear my head.”

“And did you find anything in that clarity?” You taunt, yearning for the same connection the two of you had so long ago.

He looks at you for a second and pauses, “I guess I finally figured out what I want.”

For a brief moment you’re drawn to him, something in those eyes and that voice. But you tear yourself away.

“Well I’m glad the break was worth it,” You smile, looking away from him, “Sometimes that’s all that you need.”

You look down at your son and feel the same swell of pride you had when they first handed him to you in the delivery room. The same realisation that this was it now - this was everything.

“You know this place changed when you left,” Conrad comments, “And it’s changed again now you’re back.”

“Yeah, well, I always had that effect,” You wiggle your brows jokingly, lifting Kylo up from the couch to rest him on your lap.

Conrad pushes himself up to sit on the couch beside you and both of you fall silent in the seemingly empty house. He watches you with Kylo and is sure for a second that he’s looking at someone else. But it’s you. The one that was always made for this.

“I’m sorry if I-“

You both speak at the same time and look at each other with hints of smiles.

“You first,” Conrad encourages.

You take a deep breath, “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t be with Belly. She told me you guys ended things not long after and I just hate thinking that I was… I don’t know, that I ruined things,” You shake your head, “I know it was forever ago.”

“You didnt ruin anything. Me and Belly… we… I think I always knew that she liked me. And I just, I hated the thought of breaking her heart. Like it would be my fault if I didn’t feel the same. And that night, I don’t know what it was, I just convinced myself that I could feel the same as she did,” He takes a deep breath too, like both of you are fighting for air against tightened chests, “But we’re must better as friends, we both know that. And I’d never… I never did… feel that way about her. I was just confused.”

You nod, “Now you go.”

“I’n sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren’t good enough,” Conrad exhales, “Because I know that’s how you felt, and I never ever wanted you to think like that.”

“Con…”

“Im serious (Y/n),” He shifts in his seat so that he’s facing you properly, “I was younger and naive and I knew that I liked you and I just… suppressed it. Because I knew if I started anything with you then I’d want that to be it, and I wasn’t ready for you to break my heart.”

You laugh a little, your eyes pricking just slightly with tears, “You think I’m a heartbreaker, Fisher?”

Conrad smiles, his cheeks flushed a little, his muscles visibly relaxed from what they were. He’d missed this. You, the way you knew him, the way you read him. He’d missed it all.

———

“We’ll watch him, you can go and shower,” Belly assures you, “And I’ll make sure Steven doesn’t do anything stupid.”

You’d spent the day in and around the pool with Belly, Steven and Jeremiah whilst Conrad had gone to work. They’d bought a float for Kylo at the store and were all impatient to use it - taking a thousand photos of him with his hat on laying back in the float.

“Alright, well just shout me if there’s anything,” You encourage, “I’ll just use-“

“(Y/n),” Steven says in a calm tone, “Relax, we’ve got him, I promise.”

You nod and step off of the lounger you’d been on, walking around the side of the house to where the outdoor shower still stood.

This place. It held memories you’d wanted to forget.

Before you step in, your phone starts ringing and you glance down to see Carmen’s contact on your screen, you accept the call and press the speaker button on your phone.

“Hey (y/l/n), how’s it going?” He says as soon as you pick up.

“It’s going well, yeah,” You turn back around to the garden where Belly was holding Kylo in her arms, “They’re all so excited to meet him.”

“Do they know about his super cool, super helpful, super present Dad yet?” Carmen taunts.

“They do,” You chuckle into the microphone, “They’re glad I haven’t been doing it on my own.”

“Yeah, well, they would’ve known that if they tried-“

“Carmen,” You sigh, “Less hating them, yeah? It’s going well.”

“Okay, you’re right, but I’m still not their biggest fans,” He comments, “What about the long lost love of your life?”

“Oh my god will you stop?” You widen your eyes at his words.

“Come on, I know that’s who you were most nervous to see,” He returns, “How’s it been? Do you still… you know, feel that way about him?”

“I-“ You glance down at the exact spot you’d been stood in two years ago, when you’d told Conrad the truth, “It’s Conrad, you know? He makes me laugh and he listens to me and he feels like… it feels like the piece of me that I’ve been missing.”

Carmen laughs, “And I’m guessing you haven’t told him that.”

“I already ruined things with that boy once, I can’t do it again.”

“Ruin things? (Y/l/n) I think you’d be telling him what he’s been waiting to hear for two years.”

Before you can say anything, the sound of a twig snapping behind you makes you jump from your thoughts and you turn around to see Conrad stood just metres from you.

“Um, Carmen, I have to go,” You stumble over your words into the microphone, “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wear protection!” He yells down the phone before you hang up, your cheeks flushing bright red as you look back at Conrad.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to-“ Conrad mumbles, scratching at the back of his neck, “I just got back from work.”

“Right, yeah, of course, how- how was it?”

“Good,” Conrad nods, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “I didn’t mean to listen in, or anything. I just… I don’t even normally walk this way, I don’t know why I did but I thought I could hear people and so I thought maybe you were outside, not that I was looking for you, but well I was-“

“Con,” You interrupt, “It’s okay.”

He smiles, taking a second to breathe, “That was Carmen?”

You look down at your phone in your hand, “Yeah, just calling to check how I’m getting on. It’s the first time he’s been away from Kylo too.”

Conrad nods in understanding, “Yeah, of course, I bet that’s weird for him.”

“Yeah I don’t think I could ever leave Ky now, it’s a parent thing, I guess,” You scratch at a patch on your arm as the nerves seem to overtake you, “I should probably… you know, I need to shower before tonight and I-“

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll let you get on,” Conrad raises his hands and goes to step past you as you step into the booth of the shower.

You don’t make any move after that, thinking of every single thing you could’ve just said to him. How two years ago every word came to you all at once and, now, you can’t find a single right word to say. You feel your bottom lip tremble just slightly at the thought of everything you could’ve just told him but you shake it off.

“Hey, (Y/n),” Conrad’s voice speaks from the exact spot you’d just left him in, “What did he want you to tell me?”

You feel every bone in your body freeze at those words, practically sending a shiver down your spine. Your hands go numb, your eyes glazing over, your throat seemingly closing off any words.

As you turn around back to the entrance of the shower, there he is. Stood on the path with a look of hope in his eyes that you thought you’d never see again from Conrad.

“What did he want you to say?” He persists, eyes burning into you.

You exhale deeply, the tension in your shoulders dropping as if you’ve lost hope, “That I never should’ve walked away from you that night. And I hate myself every day for not fighting for you more, for not standing there and telling you that I’d wait for you. I’d wait for you in every life if that’s what it took for you to realise that you loved me. And I know I shouldn’t and I know it’s different now because I have a son and that’s complicated and you don’t have to want that or feel like you have to-“

He strides forward then, his hands coming up to cup either side of your face, his lips crashing into yours as if they’re returning home for the first time in forever. It’s messy and rushed and heated but neither of you care, both relaxing into a feeling you never thought you’d feel. Your hands grip at the material of his t-shirt like you’re convincing yourself that he’s real. And he is. It’s all real.

Your lips pull away first, rushing to catch every ounce of breath that had just been knocked from your lungs.

“I’d wait for you, (y/n). In this life, the next and the next after that, I’d wait for you too,” Conrad confirms, his eyes searching in both of yours, “This is it, okay? This is what I want, it’s what I’ve always wanted.”

You let out a laugh, somewhere verging on a sob as every emotion of every missed day seems to come out of you, “We’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”

Conrad smiles, his hand moving to your chin to pull you into his lips once more.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” He mumbles just millimetres from your lips.

“I think I have some idea,” You return with a smile, kissing him quickly.

This was it. In this life, the next one and the one after that - this was where you could be truly happy.