#I let people infantilize me for my autistic traits. it lets me come off as a ‘good autist’ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sickknotdoom · 4 months

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Someone should tell Eve that squeak doesn't get to decide how we feel about squeak's characters.

REAL. this is definitely gonna set some people off, but the whole "cuddles is the only real villain in the entire story and all the other staff are actually innocent" narrative is bullshit. nearly everyone that works at that hospital tortures and permanently detriments innocent lives if not ending them entirely in brutal ways, and were supposed to just forgive every single one just because "theyre being forced to do so"?

also, the "one true villain" being the only cishet and likely only neurotypical in the comic really rubs me the wrong way. apparently the reason sparklecare even got rebooted was because kneeby thought having evil characters also be queer was "bad representation". i am not a fan of the "queer people can do no wrong" approach. as someone whos gay and under the trans umbrella, id like to point you towards dahmer and chris chan.

jeffrey dahmer was a gay man who cannibalized other gay men. christine chandler is a transgender woman who committed incest. those traits are not mutually exclusive in the real world. they are taken simultaneously, unrelated to eachother unless you go out of your way to relate them. and i think its safe to say that nobody would try and link dahmers sexuality with his actions unless theyre homophobic.

just because one figure within a minority is fucked up, does not mean the rest of the minority is fucked up by association. if that was the case, then id be associated with edp445 and h/tler due to the fact im black and suffer from autism. but thats not the case at all, so why are the clowns so afraid of letting queer characters be antagonists, or vice versa?

all the nurses are treated like theyre completely innocent just because of their identities and/or them being possibly coded as neurodivergent. it seriously comes across as infantilizing queer and/or autistic people, which as someone whos both, i do not like. especially nurse puppy. i do not like the way puppy is written.

puppy is, in my opinion, the most explicitly autistic coded character in the comic (not including characters that are confirmed to be). lo is also the most babied by both the clowns and the fandom. loves whole premise is that cuddles brainwashed lov into seeing loves job (murdering and torturing innocent civilians) as a fun game. lo is canonically 30 years old, by the way.

speaking from experience, us autists are relatively easy to take advantage of when were younger, due to our difficulty grasping social cues. ive been taken advantage of by so many people in just fourteen years of being on this earth. ive been groomed, sextorted by someone who i saught out comfort from after said grooming, painted as a predator by the very person who sextorted me, and then propped by my only remaining "friend" group who would bring all that shit up just to milk my reaction and use it to further damage my reputation.

almost all these people were also queer and autistic, and coincidentally also liked sparklecare, my sextorter being the one who initially got me into it, since he had a uni pfp one time. theyre also victims of similar shit themselves. does that mean all queers/autists/sparklecare fans/abuse victims are like them? no. but does being any of those things excuse the torment they put me through? no the fuck it does not. you cannot give me the excuse of them "not knowing" or being "brainwashed", theyre all at least two years older than me, some being legal adults as im writing. you cannot convince me they didnt intend to fuck me up.

so it reasonably infuriates me to see a Grown Ass 30 Year Old Adult That Murders People For Fun And Listens To Them Scream In Misery With A Smile On Loves Face given the excuse of "lo doesnt know!!!! blame cuddles not lov!!!!" and the fandom just not questioning that at all. imagine watching your lover or best friend get murdered by someone breaking into their house and chucking a toaster into their bath while theyre taking a shower, and the cops* tell you to sue the manufacturers of the toaster. see how fucked that logic is? thats basically sparklecare.

*not like you should trust american cops but i needed an example ok

one of these people i described earlier happens to kin puppy, what a surprise. maybe im just projecting, but the most explicitly autistic coded character (also the only character so far that uses neopronouns/identifies as a xenogender) being treated this way is revolting to say the least, and i feel like lo is made immune to criticism by the clowns because lo just so happens to be those things. if this character werent queer, they would give no chances.* i will gladly allow puppy to exist as is, same personality, everything, i dont mind. its the constant infantilization and justification of loves abhorrent actions that upsets me.

*and this applies to all the other nurses in the comic, except maybe nurse snare since shes practically nonexistant after volume one. but in volume one we are shown barry being tortured and injured by, as far as i can tell, every nurse thats been introduced so far. barry, one of the fandoms most beloved characters, is put through excruciating pain and trauma on screen (with a million trigger warnings before each page, in typical clowns fashion) and nobody gives a fuck once its over, just because everyones queer except cuddles, and cuddles is the Only One To Blame For Anything At All Times.

the cycle of abuse is extremely common. an abuser being a victim does not cancel out them being an abuser, and if theyre not actively seeking help theyre a bad person, regardless of what minorities they belong to. but that does not mean everybody within that minority is a bad person. sparklecares creators and fandom cant seem to grasp that. kneeby cannot erase my opinions on the way the staff is portrayed.

#WARNING #I START TALKING ABOUT TRAUMA LIKE HALFWAY THROUGH THE POST #tw grooming #sparklecriticism #sparklecare criticism #.png.svg

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sakurasangcl · 3 years

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Common micro aggressions i have faced as an autistic woman, or my autistic peers (like people i know irl) have faced.

(feel free to look at this post again to see if anything has been added. if you’re also autistic, feel free to lmk things to add!)

“You don't look autistic”

So what does autism "look" like? Can you describe it to me without sounding like a dick? The answer is no. There isn't a physical give of being autistic. While there are common and stereotypical traits such as rocking or flapping, not everyone with autism stims that way.

“You're too pretty to be autistic”

Read above. Once again, my appearance has nothing to do with this!

“But... you're a girl”

Once upon a time about 20 years ago, yes, autism was only diagnosed in males. Females are also autistic. Often times, it is significantly harder to diagnose. I believe it is similar with ADHD as well. May I kindly remind you of gender roles here? :)

“You can't be autistic, you show emotion and/or are empathetic”

While a lack of empathy is a common trait among autistic individuals, some of is are hyper empathetic, such as myself. There is also the issue where if something bad has happened, we just don't process the emotion until later. We can bottle it and save it for later, more so than some of our neurotypical peers. And then as for emotion, we may show it in different ways, but we definitely still feel them.

“Are you sure you're autistic?”

I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist and then later a specialist. So yes, I am sure. You are not my doctor, nor do you have any medical expertise. And likely, you hardly know the individual you say this to.

“Isn't autism only for kids?/ you'll grow out of it”

While autism is called autism spectrum disorder, it is impossible to cure (also no cure is wanted). Autism is the way your brain thinks, works, and is wired. You can't grow out of something like this. Its not like other disorders that can be cured or healed. The only way to cure it is to have a completely new brain. So I'll keep mine, thank you very much.

Autism is also considered a developmental disorder, as it can cause autistic people to learn things later, such as being potty trained or speaking. But again, it doesn't just "go away."

“Oh, so you must be super smart like a genius/have a special power or something you're super good at? You must be great at math!”

No. There is a huge myth that autistic people are geniuses like Einstein. Individuals like him (if he even was autistic) are outliers, not the norm. Not all of us are good at math. I'm fact, I seriously struggle at it. I have no "special power." I’m not sure where that comes from, except perhaps over-advocacy?

“Really? but you’re so normal!” or “wow, I never would have guessed!”

This just... really bothers me. the reason a good portion of autistics come off as “normal” is because we are masking ourselves daily to meet social expectations and behave “normally.” It is mentally and physically exhausting to hide ourselves. We are actively trying to hide who we are so we don’t stick out. I believe ABA therapy is meant to “help” us seem normal, and many autistics are against it. Regardless, “normal” is not something that exists. It is a social expectation created by neurotypicals (and generally white males). Being weird is okay.

“Can’t you just... stop doing that?”

People will ask me to stop using stim toys, claiming them to be a distraction even if it is hidden on my lap and quiet. People rudely tell autistic people to stop flapping (a way we show excitement, btw) or to stop rocking. These are often compulsive behaviors that are hard to stop. We can learn to redirect it in a less distracting way because it makes you, the neurotypical, uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable for us to re-learn how to stim. Let us flap when we are discussing our favorite content, let us rock when we are anxious or super excited. We are not hurting you.

and this is my least favorite. And yes, I have gotten this one more than once.

“I’m sorry.”

what. the. fuck. seriously. What the fuck? What are you sorry for? You aren’t sorry, you are expressing pity. It is incredibly demeaning and further serves to infantilize autistic people. I don’t want pity- I want acceptance and understanding.

A really great thing to say instead when someone discloses that they’re autistic is “thank you for telling me.”

And yes, this can and should be reblogged by neurotypicals and neurodiverse alike

#autism awareness #actually autistic #aspergirl #aspergirls #autism #asd #autism spectrum disorder #autistic #autism awareness month #autistic awareness

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autisticawesomeness-archive-blog · 6 years

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Hey, I am totally Neuro typical but I have an autistic oc. I was wondering if you would give me advice on what you would like to see in media if I ever get published. He ISs is nonverbal and hates loud sounds and eye contact. When he gets scared he runs off to see plants. He likes plants and keeps some flowers with him. He has trouble with clothes and touch and has a cloak and one shirt that he can where. I still have questions about stimming. What it is and how do i (if I should) write it?

Alright! First of all, I think that you might want to take a look at @scriptautistic; they are a blog specifically designed to help writers write autistic characters. Their FAQ is a very good place to start, and you can search keywords like ‘nonverbal’ or ‘stimming’ on their blog.

First of all, I think you picked a very risky character to write. No offense. Since you’re using ‘he’ pronouns, I’m assuming he’s a guy. Your autistic character is a nonverbal guy. I’m going to state this right now, for the record: I have literally never seen a nonverbal character written well by a neurotypical. If I saw this on the back of a book, I’d put it back like I’d been burned.

Aside from the fact that I’ve never seen a nonverbal character written well by a neurotypical, he also sounds stereotypical. This post by scriptautistic describes the stereotypical autistic character. As you can see, you’re already ticking off at least four of the twelve points just with your short description. This is a big risk to take, especially for a neurotypical. You might want to work to make sure that you don’t fall into the other categories as well.

What I do like about your character is his special interest in plants. The fact that he carries around a couple of flowers with him is very realistic, at least in my experience; I had the habit of carrying books around for the longest time because they were my special interest and comforted me.

Aside from that, this particular type of special interest has potential to become unique if you make sure to not make him focus on the science of plants, but rather on nurturing them. I’ll get deeper into what I mean by that later.

This post is becoming way too long, so I’ll put the rest under the cut..

First of all, I’ll give you a couple of general tips for writing autistic characters:

Be careful what sites you use for research. Remember that actually autistic people should always be your primary source material. Autism Speaks is awful, if the sites mention ABA or therapy aimed to make people ‘indistinguishable from peers’, run. ASAN, however, is a good place to start. As is the Autism Women’s Network.

Be aware of stereotypes. I’ve already mentioned that your character has fairly stereotypical traits, but you can still avoid making him stereotypical if you know what you’re doing. Research the fuck out of stereotypes and try to avoid and/or deconstruct them if possible.

Give your character a personality. A problem with many neurotypical writers attempting to write an autistic character is that they forget to give their character a personality beyond their autistic traits. Yes, autism affects every part of us, but we are still unique individuals. Don’t write your character like an autism traits checklist.

It’s ‘autistic’, not ‘person with autism’. People will try to tell you different, but the vast majority of autistic people prefer ‘autistic’. You did this good already, but I thought I’d mention it anyway.

Get autistic beta/sensitivity readers. Sometimes neurotypicals manage to create an autistic despite not having sensitivity readers, but it’s not recommended.

Give your character an integral part in the plot, that is not to be a motivation for another character. If your character solely exists as a motivation for another character (ex: the autistic younger brother that the big brother must protect), honestly, stop. It’s insulting to be treated as a plot device. At the very least, give us agency and have us affect the plot through our own actions.

If a character is acting ableist, call them out in the narrative. Not to say that you need to have a character going ‘uh, that’s ableist’, just condemn the actions. For example, if a mother tells someone about their child’s autistic diagnosis without their permission, have the other characters side-eye her, or have the autistic character protest, or just put a sentence in that makes it clear that the narrator disapproves of the behaviour.

Write an autistic character, but don’t write about autism. This is general advice for any minority you don’t belong too. Our experiences are unique and an outsider can’t fully tell them. Write an autistic character, but don’t make your story about autism.

Don’t make him ‘grow out’ of his autistic traits. Don’t show character development by making him stop stimming or something.

And lastly, don’t other your character. It’s okay to make it clear that he’s different from your other characters, but make sure that they respect him and consider him one of their own anyway. Don’t make him seem like an alien.

Secondly, I’m going to adress writing the ‘nonverbal’ part of your character, as you have to be really careful with that, especially since you’re neurotypical. I’m not nonverbal, but I can give you a couple of general tips and things to keep in mind when writing a nonverbal autistic character:

PLEASE do extensive research, and base your character primarily on the experience of actual nonverbal autistic people. If you don’t you will reinforce negative stereotypes, whether you know it or not.

Remember that alternate forms of communication exist. Since you mentioned a cloak, I’m assuming your story isn’t set in modern day times (we don’t really have cloaks anymore after all), and in that case, AAC technology doesn’t exist. Even so, research ways your character could communicate with people around them without talking (I’d advise against making him rely solely on charades; it can work, but you’ll run a high risk of falling into the stereotype that nonverbal people can’t communicate at all).

Remember not to infantilize your character. Autistic people can come across as childish, but if your character is an adult, they are still an adult, even if they’re nonverbal and autistic. Write him like his age. Give your character agency, opinions, etc. (you’d think this goes without saying but you’d be wrong)

Now, let’s move onto stimming. Since you don’t know what it is, I’m assuming you haven’t researched autism a lot. That’s okay, there’s a place to start for everyone. However, assume that you don’t know a lot. This resource post by scriptautistic has a lot of good resources listed. And the FAQ of this blog, autism-asks, is very extensive and contains good explenations for basic things. ‘What is stimming?’ is answered in detail there too.

I made a seperate post about writing stimming here, because I thought this would be useful to many more people.

For your character specifically, I’d recommend making him stim with soft textures, his cloak (by rubbing/fidgeting with it), the plants he carries with him (by rubbing the petals, for example), to start with.

Now, we get to your character specifically. You have given me very little information to work with, but I can give you a couple of tips nonetheless:

Decide your character’s empathy level. Autistics often experience empathy differently from neurotypicals. Simplified, we tend to either have a lot of it (hyperempathy) or low/no empathy. Researching both would be good, however for your character specifically, I strongly recommend giving him hyperempathy. This is underrepresented and since you already have given your character a lot of stereotypical autistic traits, giving him the stereotypical low empathy on top of all that would be a bad idea.

Also, people with hyperempathy tend to also have empathy for things like plants/animals, which could be interesting in combination with his special interest.

I mentioned earlier that having your character focus on the nurturing side of his special interest (aka taking care of plants, making them grow, developing a garden), rather than the scientific aspect (their biology, their cells, etc.) would be a good idea. If your character focuses on nurturing things, making them grow, they tend to have a ‘caretaker’ personality. This defeats the stereotype that autistics are heartless/have no emotions. This could work to humanize the character and to make him unique.

Furthermore, it would bring your character farther from the stereotypical autistic male, who is often obsessed with math/science. Giving them the science side of plants as their special interest, however, would play into that stereotype.

However, DON’T make him a savant. He doesn’t ‘magically’ grow plants (unless actual magic is involved). He has simply spent a lot of time with them and therefore knows a lot more about them than the average person. Don’t make him a genius.

You mentioned that he runs to plants when he feels scared. Why? Does focusing on his special interest comfort him? Does he stim with the smell? Is it a familiar environment for him? A combination? Specify this to yourself and the readers.

How practical is running to plants when he feels scared? Where does he live? Does he ever move to a place without plants, or travel? What happens when he doesn’t have access to this coping mechanism?

Take care not to infantilize them and make sure your other characters respect him, his intelligence, and his opinion. From what you’ve told me, there’s a pretty high risk of that happening, especially with the running away when feeling scared thing.

I recommend that you read Anne Ursu’s The Real Boy (here on the Book Depository, here on Amazon USA), partly because it’s fucking good, partly the main character is an autistic boy who doesn’t like eye contact and is hypersensitive and has a special interest in herbs. It sounds like your character has a lot of similarities with him, and it might help to read a similar character.

However, Ursu is still neurotypical, so don’t treat is as a bible.

Here is an interview with Ursu (does spoil the book) that might help you gain some insight.

Here is a review by Disability in Kidlit (which is a good resource in general), that also might help you gain some insight (again, spoils the book).

Primarily, I recommend that you do a shitton of research, and listen to autistic people.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!

#autistic fiction #personal posts #reddragonwaterkitty #ask

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