#I like my friends from uni but none of them are like me yk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hella1975 · 2 years

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Bestie im starting college soon and you seem like a person with friends so like how do you do that

very flattered by this <3333 very much going to be talking from my own experiences here and as always when i give advice my word is NOT gospel so if you'd rather do something else than what i say then that's totally fine if anything i ENCOURAGE that. as lame as it is 'be yourself' is the worst best advice you'll ever get, otherwise you'll get stuck with people who aren't like-minded at all and it can be really suffocating (this is always what i have the biggest issue with bc i have a habit of just catering my personality to whoever im with, so none of my friends ever feel like they get me if that makes sense. so yes i objectively have a good number of friends and several functioning friendship groups that i enjoy, but at no point do i ever feel like ive taken the mask off, yk?)

so yes, unfortunately all of what i have to tell you is going to have the underlying assumption that you're taking 'be yourself' to heart. i mean it. one friend that knows you as some cringe online loser that likes anime is so so much better than twenty friends that think you're hot shit.

specifically for a college environment:

push yourself! ive said this kind of thing before, but i dont mean 'wake up an extrovert one day'. i understand it's hard and scary and social anxiety/neurodivergence is a thing, but teenagers arent actually stupid! they want to see you trying more than anything else. if you act a hermit who doesn't leave their room ever or go to any social functions and then gets upset when no one magically befriends them, then that was always going to happen. but if you try and reach out, try and make small talk whenever you're in shared spaces, try and be in group chats, try and put the effort in, then even if you dont succeed or you think you did a bad job, other people will still recognise the effort. genuinely it goes such a long way. of course the more things you do actively partake in, the easier it'll all get for you, but i dont want you to make yourself uncomfortable or wind up hating college altogether. push yourself, but dont beat yourself up if you need a time out every now and then

join societies! i actually didn't do this (unless you count women in finance which... i do not count) but i always kept this option in the back of my mind for if i couldnt make any friends on my course OR any friends in my accommodation. it's a sure-fire way of meeting people AND you can cater it to ensure they're similar to you by following your interests. also idk about other places but in the uk, societies arrange social nights amongst their club, so you go out to events and bars and move nights and shit together and you can create an entire social scene just through your society

don't give up. this is cringe but also true. i have two main friendship groups at university: my coursemates and the [insert their accom's name here] lot. you might notice i didnt say my flatmates and that's because my second friendship group, the one im in the most and am now living with next year btw!!, met me in a really random way. it started out with me sticking with 'the flatmate i dont like' as she's come to be named, who befriended our neighbour in the accom over from ours, who met these other two girls (flatmates with each other) at a social night I DIDNT GO TO, and now me, my neighbour and those two girls are super close and i practically lived at their accom all through first year. but i wasn't friends with those two girls until MONTHS into university, and as you can see, it was really random when it did happen. friendships are like that! if my mate hadn't gone to tequila night just for the tequila to run out and them all to go to the same afters by PURE CHANCE, then i wouldn't know two of my closest uni friends! how mental is that!

remember that everyone is in the same boat. idc how confident or hot some of these people are, i am telling you as a FACT of life that they are pure shitting themselves thinking they aren't going to make friends at uni. this is why it's key to be brave in the first few weeks before people start finding their feet. take advantage of their insecurity! the girl ive just spent three nights with in my uni city literally adopted me after an induction lecture we both had for economics because she came up to me and TO MY FACE went 'hey you seem really nice and i dont know anyone, can i stay with you?' and she's now one of my favourite people. not once did i go 'hey that's kind of a ballsy/weird thing to say' because i was too busy being RELIEVED that someone had come up to me, bc sure enough i was in my own mental spiral of 'shit shit shit i dont know anyone fuck what the fuck'. like genuinely just reach out to people OR latch onto the people that reach out to you. i remember one time i went to a freshers fair ON MY OWN and i was really embarrassed by that fact bc most people go with their flatmates or SOMEONE and i was on my own, so i literally just started talking to the girl next to me on the bus because she was on her own too. we did the entire freshers fair together and i never spoke to her again, but we totally used each other in that moment and there's literally nothing saying we couldn't have clicked and become the best of friends. you're all as pathetic as each other in those first few weeks, remember that.

all in all, good luck. it's a great time and i guarantee you you'll do great. im rooting for you anonstie, keep me posted!

#ive told half of these anecdotes before but idc i cannot stress enough how batshit the social side of uni is #specifically the first few weeks #like everything you knew about social interaction just goes out the window but like. in a good way #so yeah good luck bestie!!!!#ask #hella goes to uni

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lettersformiah · 2 years

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9:37am, 7 jul

hey bubs. only two days of placement! lets go. in my head its friday but its not and im so sad about it. i was late again hehehe i always am though bc i have no sense of urgency bc its fucking school. only late by like a halfa (or technically an hour if you count acg) but yeah i woke up and was like non and then woke up at like 8:15? but yeah. got the 9:25 bus and the worker people who do the stop and go signs had to stop them so i could cross the road hehehe. they were very very nice. the construction, i learnt, is on a power line. dont know what happened there but hopefully it gets fixed soon. had glimpse of us stuck in ym head this morning so ive just been listening to it on repeat. i keep having to sign in at the office so mrs copley doesnt come for me about being truant hehe but how many times can i go there in a week and press the silly buttons about missing my bus or family or sleeping in. its literally a game to me to just fucking press whatever button i see first. getting out of french next period! or at least half of it because im gonna hang out with hannah. none of my friends know im here but theyve also stopped texting me asking where i am so im glad they are just like eh she will get here when she gets here. i dont know what to say to hannah. what do i talk about. i feel like i cant be as open with her as id liek and i know thats so detrimental but like,, ive never been good at being 100% honest with my counselors and stuff so! idk. maybe i just talk about internals and your parents and you obvs and then?? idk job stuff and my dad? and my sister. i dont know i guess i have a lot to say just as an update to my life. also! sorry for falling asleep last night bubba, i know you werent home and its a bit of a mb. its very very sweet of you to stay on call though bubba. makes me so happy :*] even tho rn joji is making me so sad bro like. :'[ oh! geo is actually due first week term 2 ^^ im happy about that bc then i can do it while i wait around for u to be done with uni. but yeah! the reliever :l told me that she wants as much as she can get from us tomorrow but to have all of it done over the holidays. which is nice for me bc then i can do the excellence stuff and get everything done. im so glad. i love mrs haggart sm hehehe shes a banging teacher fr and i hope i get her next year. bio will um be something. maybe he will say just to get it done by tomorrow which i can do all of it tn. and i can write my english! im so fucking happy with it. like smh and my writing isnt amazing by any means, but i found a nice system and sparknotes is like helping me so much so i owe my grade to them for deadass just giving me quotes and themes. i love the internet bro. imagine if i had to do it all from my own fucking brain. id be so pressed. but yeah! i dont know what the last two texts are gonna be but ill just search around sparknotes for some stuff and just randomly search novels ive read in my life. maybe i will actually do the maze runner, surely its on there yk? my nose is all sniffly bubba >:( the outside is pretty chilly and geo is warm as. the temperature difference being a bitch to my poor poor nose. so dog hehe but yeah! idk bubba. i love you! geo will be over in a second so this was just a teeny update on my morning and all that. i love you sm and thank u for everything. mwahmwhamwahwmah

talk soon

-mads<3

#letters

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sinsandsweetness · 5 months

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ok so yk how my ex friend got w my toxic ex(who apologized to me and were friends now but that’s as far as it’s gonna go cause i’m not stupid)

well they broke up and then me and her started being cordial with each other and she was telling me all types of stuff

well i have another friend and we will call her A

A has been with this guy for like a year or so and they were going good and then all the sudden BAM my ex friend tells me that her and him were talking. obviously i was confused but she said that A and the guy broke up and now they were talking.. blah blah blah.

turns out they weren’t broken up and he was also talking to another girl FROM THE SAME COLLEGE. THREE GIRLS FROM THE SAME UNI.

well obviously i didn’t talk to A ab it cause i thought it was a touchy subject and A is one of those girls who will be fine one second and then you say something wrong and she’s on top of you beating your head in the next.

i would like to keep my hair so i said no thank you and just didn’t talk to her about it.

well halloween night comes around and i’m taking my little sister trick or treating and i see my ex friend w the guy and they’re doing couples costumes and then i saw the other girl he was talking to. she came up and asked where he was and i said with (ex friend) and she kinda stormed off and my ass wasn’t fixing to follow her cause i ain’t gonna try and pull them off of each other w my kid sister there.

i had known ab the other girl beforehand and my ex friend added her on snap and was threatening to curb stomp her and all types of shit and i just didn’t even bother entertaining any of it that night cause i was already pissed that day and was just not into getting myself into more drama.

well my ex friend and the guy go into an alleyway and she GAVE HIM HEAD. ON OUR MAIN STREET. WITH KIDS RUNNING AROUND. she told either the night it happened or the day after i don’t remember. and i just kept it to myself for a few days.

well on Nov 1st, the next day, our uni has like a free day where we all just sat outside and played games and stuff(yes i know it sounds childish but we have a dean who used to be a elementary school principal so he does fun stuff like that)

me, my ex, A, and a bunch of our other friends were sitting in the bleachers on the football field huddling together cause it was cold asf. everyone was kinda taking turns putting our hands in each others shirts to stay warm. sounds weird i know but we’ve all been friends since elementary school so we’re all very close. well my ex pops off and says something about my ex friend and the guy. A turns around and is like wait what. and my ex tells her that my ex friend and the guy have been dating for a few weeks now and tells her ab what happened the night before(halloween night) and she pulls her phone out and starts blowing up on him. she asks why no one told her and we all told her what we heard, that they had broken up and none of us felt like being punched in the face for asking her ab it.

also turns out the guy and the other girl have been dating for TWO MONTHS now. yes. two months. without anyone knowing.

it all kinda steams over for a few days with few words being said ab it. we all kinda just left A alone and didn’t bring up the subject. atp obviously sides had been taken. the guy cries(yes. cries. sobbing. he’s depressed for a few days for being caught) to A and begs her to stay with him and sadly, she does. they’re still together to this day. she’s only with him now to remind him everyday what he did.

well turns out, halloween night, a bunch of the athletes were riding around drunk and saw my ex friend with the guy and RECORDED THEM. yes. recorded them.

we thought it might’ve been all done bc no one said anything about it besides a few times in passing without A around bc obviously, we all want to keep our limbs attached to us.

shit starts up again but at this point the guy had blocked my ex friend and we thought it blew over.

obviously it didn’t. bc why would it? we’re no better than high school students.

well my ex friend blocks me on snap and doesn’t talk to me. i thought it might’ve been over.

it wasn’t.

she texts my number and goes off on me ab why “i told everyone what happened halloween night” and she “trusted me” and was “glad we weren’t friends anymore”

like bitch. we ain’t been cool since you got with my ex boyfriend.

i go off on her for blaming me and told her that my ex was the one to tell A about it because he heard it around the campus. she blames me and then i told her not to blame me and she tries to backtrack and say she wasn’t blaming me but she literally was. i tell her to lose my number and don’t talk to me on this bullshit again. this was a few days ago now.

well my other friend, we’ll call her C. C is in the group chat with my ex friend and a few other people from different years who all go to my school and my ex friend starts lying about some new boy she met. there’s this girl in there, we’ll call her S. S goes off on my ex friend and is calling her a hoe and a liar and calling her fat and shit. i was on facetime with C while this was happening and she was screen sharing as the messages were coming in.

i wanna say i don’t condone any type of bodyshaming at all, to no extent. but i admit i thought it was hilarious what S was saying to my ex friend. i was happy in a really really mean way that my ex friend was finally being called out on all her lies and toxicity.

like when i say lies i don’t mean a few, i mean a lot. the girl was basically lying about her whole life to everyone and i was just happy that someone was FINALLY FINALLY calming her out on her bullshit. she had lied in the past about sexual relations she had with people who are very important and part of many important clubs and groups and on multiple sports teams. lying about what she’s done with them could absolutely ruin their careers. it may not seem like so but it will. most of them are on strict no relationships for their careers. sexual relationships are a big no no for most of them.

the whole group chat thing happened a week ago and S told ex friend that if she caught her, she was gonna beat her ass. S came back from a family vacation tuesday and when my ex friend saw her she literally RAN the other way. and when i say i ran i mean RAN. like the fourty yard dash and a whole u turn.

so obviously she can talk shit about curb stomping people but when she gets threatened she can’t even show her face out of cowardliness. like girl stand by what you say.

i know this is all out of order but i’m typing it as i think of it, so bear with me. i know it’s a lot.

well ex friend has now lost ALL of her friends. and when i say all i mean ALL. no one will talk to her except this really bitchy girl who has a reputation for twisting everyone’s words and exaggerating things.

well ex friend and this girl, we’ll call her D. ex friend and D had a girls weekend the weekend before last with just them too and my name got brought into it(obviously cause no one can let the dust settle) and when D left ex friends house she texted A and told her that i had been talking shit about her. obviously i haven’t. so i texted ex friend and told her i didn’t appreciate her and D bringing my name into stuff that had nothing to do with me anymore. i had literally took myself out of the situation by that point because my focus shouldn’t be on who’s fucking who and who’s cheating on who. it’s ridiculous. i’m obviously right smack down in the middle of it now cause i don’t appreciate my name being lied on and being told off to about stuff i didn’t say. and i’m not gonna let my friends be hounded on without me there with them.

so obviously, since we wanna be petty let’s be petty! me, ex boyfriend, A, C and other friends made a group chat and had a group facetime this week to talk about all of this. so you wanna run MY name through the mud, than let’s air this out bitch. i put all of her secrets out that i had kept for her out of respect. i know i’m petty but if you wanna talk shit let’s talk shit! i’m the best of the best at this game. it was like five or six of us on facetime and i aired her business out. i had shit on her dating back to last year and she has nothing on me! i have nothing to lose here.

i know i’m petty and i should’ve been the adult in this situation but my mouth got the best of me and i regret absolutely nothing.

so now ex friend is trying to make new friends, who are already starting drama again and we ain’t even done with the old bullshit! none of us can be the adults we need to be but you know what? since we wanna act like this is high school still then let’s act like this is high school. wanna drag my name through the mud and threaten to jump my friends? then i will air. everything. out. i will hang you up to dry. i’m not a scary or intimidating person at all but i can be a bitch just like everyone else. let’s be petty then. i grew up fighting grown men the last thing i’m scared of is some petty dog ass bitch who can’t win a fight on her own or let anything settle. she’s always gotta have an army behind her(new friends are also ALREADY talking ab her behind her back) to try and intimidate someone. just bc you’re build like a fucking fire truck don’t mean anyone scared of you. i will drag your ass across that campus and beat your face bloody. men don’t scare me, you think some 5’5 scary bitch gonna frighten me? or my friends? literally no one is scared of her. she tries and talk to everyone’s boyfriends and frankly, everyone is after her atp. she was caught before talking to someone’s boyfriend and the girl let it slide but now everyone is literally after her lol

lots of drama i know. and i know i should’ve been the bigger person but atp i don’t care to. i’m tired of her trying to run over everyone. she always has to be center of attention and it’s absolutely ridiculous

bby anon😂

Damn. lol. I am so glad I don’t have a big friend group. And also that I live in a big city 😭 there’s virtually no drama at my university because it’s too big. No one knows anyone hahah.

I hear you though. There are always those kinds of people and eventually, all the shit they’ve been handing out comes right back to bite them back😇

#inbox #bby anon <3

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onlyfortheplot · 4 years

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Toxic!

hi! is it okay if i req an emergency kuroo x fem!reader where basically she gets worried that she’ll be in the same class as her toxic & manipulative ex friend and since her friend isn’t with her she wouldn’t have anyone to like,, rely on yk? tysm!

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x Fem!Reader

Synopsis:

“I’ll do it tonight,” he murmured, placing a soft kiss onto your neck. “Do you feel better?”

You nodded, pressing a kiss onto his messy hair, running a finger down the nape of his neck.

“Sure,” you wanted to say you felt good. But, you didn’t. You felt better—better than before. But, not great. Not good.

Warning: Toxic friends :( Implied Panic/ Anxiety Attack

A/N: Hewo baby! Thank you for sending this in. Just remember that if you do end up with this toxic person, you are under no pressure to make up or be chill. They hurt you and that’s it. You don’t have to pity them or try and be friends! And just know if they do anything to make you uncomfortable you can always warn them. (I’m also sure you can tell the university? I don’t know about that because I’m not it yet.) Also @boosyboo9206! You said any Kuroo content uwu!

MASTERLIST

You thought you had escaped. Escaped the cold, cruel clutches. But, it seemed the universe was against you. Once again.Your eyes bore into the singular sheet of paper, small names typed neatly on one side. But, you didn’t care about those letters that shifted as your eyes blurred, sudden tears flooding your senses.

Kimi Rei.

You stared. How was it that the one person—one singular person— you didn’t want to see ended up in your class. You snarled at the sheet, crumpling it in your fist and chucking it towards your wall. It bounced off the bare surface, landing neatly onto your bed.

“Why,” you wanted to scream. In anger and frustration. It hadn’t even been a full year since that happened. You curled your hand into a fist, your nails almost embedded into your skin.

“Screw you,” you cursed at nothing, shaking your fist in anger. There was so much fury, so much wrath, within your body causing it to shake with a vicious fervor. But, there was something else. Something underneath the anger. The wrath.

Fright.

You were scared. You hated her. You hated her with a passion. She was a pain. She was toxic. She was…

She was the worst. Inside and out. You still remembered every horrible word, every horrible curse Rei had thrown at you in fits of rage and jealousy. You did nothing, opting to stick with her and pity her. It was that that ruined you. It was as Rei came to consciousness of sorts, that you wouldn’t leave. That you would ‘stick by her side’. You snorted at that.

You had been stupid enough to do exactly that. You had stuck by her side, through thick and thin. Had crept out of your parent’s house and into her house to help heal her broken heart. You had done everything. Without asking for anything. You gave and gave and gave. But, you never took. Not that she had offered you anything but malicious, hateful words.

“You look fat in that,” Rei had said, as she gave you a quick glance. Your smile had dropped as you looked back into the mirror. Sure, you had thought, maybe you did look fat.

You scowled at your innocence. At your plain ignorance. She was a toxic, evil person. But, you couldn’t see that. Not when you wore a rose colored glasses

You could feel your feet tremble, as you stared at the crumpled piece of paper.

She was in your class. Sitting next you. Learning with you. Being with you.

You could feel your heartbeat increase, the small thumps becoming drum-like as you felt the dam break. Sobs were chasing your breath, as your mouth opened gasping for air. It was hard.Hard to think. Hard to breath. You didn’t want this. You didn’t—

“Y/N?”

You heard him. Yet not. You were stuck. Stuck in this whirlpool—tornado of emotions and fear. And anxiety. And rage. And—

Too much. This was too much. Oh no. Oh no. Oh—

“Y/N,” heavy hands hit your shoulders, gripping it with an excruciating force. You flinched.

“Y/N, kitten , look at me,”

Kuroo. This was Kuroo. You closed your eyes, allowing his arm to snake up your shoulder, slowly caressing the back of your neck. You wanted to melt into his warm touch, but something tugged at you. Anxiety. Fright.

“Kitten, take deep breaths,” you whined at the slow circles he drew into the back of your neck. “Come one, baby, come on.”

He moved closer, slowly bringing his other hand onto your waist. Slow. So slow. You whined again as he pulled you towards your chest, your face pressing against his shoulder. He bent down, as he pulled you even closer.

“Breathe, kitten.” he murmured into your hair, breathing your scent.

“Tetsu,” you whispered as your arms left your sides, wrapping tightly around his neck.

“What happened, baby,” his soft voice almost lulled you to sleep. It was so low, yet soothing.

“Rei,” you muttered onto his shoulder, stiffening at the tighter grip of your waist. He knew her. Knew every single thing about her.

“That one,” he couldn’t even speak her name, the mere syllable leaving a sour, tangy taste on his tongue. She was disgusting. Toxic. Malicious. She put every other petty person to shame.

He hated her. Almost as much as you did. Almost.

“What about her, did she contact you? Did she—”

“—she’s in my class.” you muttered. He was still stiff under your touch. You leaned away from his shoulder looking up at him.

“Really?” he asked, pushing your head back into his shoulder as he began rocking back and forth.

“Yeah, I got the sheet with the names.”

“Really?” He said again. As he pulled you towards your bed, pushing you down as he sat on the edge, his arm still wrapped around you.

“We could call the uni,—”

“I don’t wanna make a big deal,” you sighed at his touch, slowly sliding up and down your waist. You leaned into his calming touch.

“It is a big deal,” he hissed as he stared at the ceiling, “that wrench hurt you.”

“It’s okay,” you muttered. No it wasn’t okay. You weren’t even sure if your friends were in that class with you. You couldn’t remember any other name. None except Rei.

Rei.

Even that name was a plague.

“I don’t wanna have a class with her Tetsu,” you sounded like a child, pouting like one as you rose up onto your elbows.

“I’ll call the university. We can figure something out.” He sounded mad. Not at you. Never at you. But, rather at the mere thought of that idiot being near you.

“This isn’t a —”

“No. I’m not taking a chance. Not again.” He finally looked at you, desperation brimming in his eyes. You felt your heart pound at the sight.

“Please?” you mumbled as you crawled onto his lap, holding him close as he burrowed his face into your shoulder.

“I’ll do it tonight,” he murmured, placing a soft kiss onto your neck. “Do you feel better?”

You nodded, pressing a kiss onto his messy hair, running a finger down the nape of his neck.

“Sure,” you wanted to say you felt good. But, you didn’t. You felt better—better than before. But, not great. Not good.

You were still nervous. Still scared. But, you knew it would be okay. That you would find a way. You both would find a way. He would never let you back into the cold talons of that woman. Never. And you knew that.

And you trusted him. Because you love him.

And he loves you.

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zhuhongs · 3 years

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なんか私の想いが溢れ出した. i went out with some friends last night and every time i go out i always realize just how bad i am at communicating and how bad I am with people. (long meandering post under the cut. feel free to ignore its unfocused and long.. like 2k words under there)

I’ve mentioned this before but I don’t really talk much irl. I don’t talk, I can’t connect properly. Every time I’m out with people I just feel fundamentally, like… different. So a group of my irls friends plus me were going to the movie theatre and I personally really hate movie theatres. I knew we were going to one and prepared myself thinking “oh it’ll be fine bc you'll be with friends, just enjoy their company '' But god I really hate movie theaters. It’s been so long, i forgot how much I really really hated them. They’re so loud and bright. I’d much rather watch a movie at home but tbh I also just don’t like movies bc I can’t sit through them and I can’t focus and I don’t get invested easily and I need to be doing something with my hands at all times. To make matters worse, my friend's friend that I really don’t like came along. I just, I don’t like her. She’s just too loud and attention seeking and childish. Like she says things for a reaction, like rlly not okay things sometimes and I just can’t stand her. like we went to see godzilla vs king kong and then entire movie she kept YELLING "IF THEY DONT KISS I WANT MY MONEY BACK" and i was like... you are 21 yrs old oh my god.. this isnt ur tumblr blog in middle school. shut up. But here’s the thing, I don’t know how to tell her or anyone that. Like I just can’t figure out a good way to say it, so I put up with it. Things like this just make me feel incredibly annoyed. I always talk on here about how if I have an issue with anyone, I’ll just say it like an adult. But in face to face situations I just don’t know how to say things. Well I do know how to say it - it’d be easy. I just hate having to do it. Like I don't have to say the whole thing about how I don’t like her but when she says like “simp” when she’s nonblack I could just be like. “Hey don’t say that, here’s why” and I’m sure she’d stop. Yet I can’t bring myself to have that one moment of discomfort to tell her to stop yelling in my ear or stop saying things that make me annoyed. I feel useless in a way. ちゃんとできない。ちゃんと伝えない。During the entire movie I was thinking to myself that I’d rather be home watching a drama by myself and doing hw. I also hate going out for other reasons. I hate being seen. I hate my appearance. I know I don’t have to be pretty, I only need to exist for me. Like wow, I just have so many body image issues, and they all manifest heavily as soon as I go out in public.

But afterwards I changed my mind a bit. There was a moment where we were outside running around in the street and it reminded me of that one scene in AIB episode one with Chota, Karube, and Arisu in the street and I was rlly like… wow… maybe human connection really is good. It doesn’t matter if I’m pretty or good at talking, sometimes, to laugh and be silly wth others is all you need to make your night. Just one moment, just one person really is all it takes. We all went out for dinner afterwards and it was really really fun. I enjoyed it, there really is something about eating with someone that brings you closer to them.

The entire time though, I didn’t talk much. I don’t really know when to cut in in a conversation to a point where it feels right. I feel like by saying my piece I’m interrupting others just to say something that wasn’t really of any use. Really, I prefer silence with others. I’m bad at talking in social situations but I’m great at talking in classes and at work because of the context. Because I’m expected to engage there. The pretense is different. Like you’re supposed to contribute in those places. It’s acceptable to talk there. But for me, it doesn’t really feel acceptable to just share about myself like that in a social group setting. I wish I could always communicate like how I am doing here. It’s so much nicer online. I get to post my full complete thoughts without bothering any of you. My words can easily be disregarded and just flipped through. It’s passive. Posting is passive, talking is active. And sometimes, people don't really want to talk to others, they just want to say their piece. Like when talking about their problems, often we just want to say it and the act of saying those words is all we need. We don’t want input, it annoys us. I don’t like to cut in, and I can never find the right words to say. Even right now, none of this feels like it’s coming out correctly. None of my words feel like they’re coming out correctly nowadays, but this is the only way I know how to be. If I can’t post my thoughts on here, even if they come out crooked and ugly, I may never speak again. I have to keep talking, and typing, and trying otherwise I’ll never get any better. And I know it’s okay to do things wrong, but still, I can’t let myself do that. Again, I do fine when I’m at work and school. I’m functional, normal, you would never be able to tell how much is going on in my head. But in private, I may never speak again if I wasn’t spoken to.

When I was younger, around 12 or 13, I remember something a friend posted on my first online community. They posted, quite honestly, that they never wanted to meet anyone on there irl. No matter how close we are, it would never be the same IRL. I didn’t get that sentiment at the time. To me, why wouldn’t you want to see your friends everyday in person? That would be great. But I think I get it now. I’m afraid that if I ever met any of you someday it wouldn’t be the same. I’m not really the same in person. I’m bad at talking, bad at connecting. I’m not a proper person. But I feel like that’s okay. It’s okay to just exist on here as I am. While my friend was talking to me on our drive back to her place (we carpooled) she was telling me about her life. And she was apologizing like “oh I’m sorry I keep talking about myself” but quite honestly I was glad to just be able to listen. At some point my friend kept asking me what was up so I decided maybe I’ll tell them the arcane secrets of how I’ve been into guardian and how all the characters rlly hit for me for personal reasons. That was really the only thing I thought that was of note to tell her about. Really I don’t think I’ve done or felt much new since I last talked to her. But as I was trying to explain I just wasn’t doing it right. She just didn’t get it and trying to talk about something like that just made me embarrassed to the point where I just dropped it and tried to just say, “oh yea, you got it, that’s it.” and move along bc I didn’t think she’d get it. She’s the type that doesn’t really get how you can make meaningful connections online. So whenever I try to talk to her about certain things, it just doesn’t register. I’ve learned to choose my battles. I didn’t really think she wanted to get it. So I didn’t tell her. I tried telling her about stuff I liked in the past and I just always stop halfway through. I can’t communicate properly. I can’t speak in a way that I think is worthy of being heard. So I don’t talk. It frustrates me to no end. It feels like everyone else can do it so easily, that I’m the wrong one.

I had another friend from Uni message me about something and she was like “so what’s new with you, twin” (we have similar bdays and get along well so we call each other that) and tbh I just, didn’t know what to tell her. I had talked to her in a long time, so things had happened but nothing so easily said that I could just tell her over text. SO I just was like “work, school, yk how it is” and yea. I really am the one choosing not to let people in. It frustrates me to no end but I don’t know what a good starting point is ever. I feel like I should just send all my IRLS my long reflection essays next time they wanna know what's up. All the secrets to why I am the way I am are in there.

I’m scared of telling people how I feel about anything. IRL when I say something I often speak quietly, moreso like I’m only talking to myself. People often don’t hear what I had to say. And I don’t repeat myself. If it was something someone didn’t hear, in my head, that means that it wasn’t important enough to repeat. I’m afraid of talking and being misunderstood and never being able to be interpreted the way I mean. I want to convey all my thoughts correctly the first time. So i don’t repeat myself, not bc I’m mad at the person who didn’t hear me. It’s not about them, it’s about me. I don’t believe my words to be worth repeating. I don’t want anyone to stop the conversation for me. Just keep going, it won’t come out the right way anyways. I was taking a uquiz a week or so ago and one question was “what power do you want” and one option was smth like the power of comprehension. Which would make it so every time you spoke, that person would understand you the way you intended. That is the most ideal power for me to ever possess like it was unreal. I’m still thinking about that quiz. It was good.

I know that I’m worth being listened to and that my words are valuable enough to be heard but I don’t want to do that. I’d rather listen. I only like talking when it’s safe like it is here. I’m trying my best to get better though. I keep saying that I want to be a proper adult. I want to live right and without regrets and i really think communication is key to that. I’m trying. It’s hard but I’m trying. But still, I can only talk here a lot. I can’t talk any other way. I don’t tell my friends about my interests, it embarasses me to no end.

Being on here is comforting though. When I talk about stuff like this, I always see a lot more people than usual like my post. I feel like you can all relate. Really, people are more similar than not. We all have very similar burdens and pains and baggage. It’s comforting, I'm not alone. My words might be able to help someone. Because when all of you talk about the same things, i also feel seen and comforted and since we are so similar, then the same is true for the things I say.

But anyways, I did a lot of listening tonight, and it reflects the sentiment above. People are the same. I was listening to my friend’s friend talking about her mom earlier and the entire time, I really resonated with what she was saying. I got it. Her mom’s situation was really similar to my own mom’s situation in the past. And I was just amazed at how I barely knew this girl but I felt really similar to her. I saw her differently after learning all that. It was really a great thing. ANd on the way home, my friend was telling me about her life recently and some things andi really understand what she was going through. I didn’t say anything, because again, I don't like to interrupt. And when I try and be like ‘oh me too, it's the same for me too” I feel like I’m derailing. I know I’m not but I really think she needed to say her piece. So I let her. But the entire time, I thought about the things in my life that were the same as what she was feeling and it was beautiful. Life and human bonds are beautiful. Even when they are hard and messy and annoying, people all want the same things. They want to be loved and seen and understood. And in those moments when we feel seen, it’s worth more than any of those complicated feelings that come along with it. Not to be cheesy but wow… in order to reap the rewards of being loved, you really do need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known. I was glad I didn’t stay home watching a drama. I was glad that I went out. No matter how alienated I feel from others, there’s still merit in being around other people. No matter how much others may misunderstand you and annoy you, they are almost always worth more than being alone. That;s because deep down, we’re all the same.

I’m not good at reminding myself that. As I said here, I don’t let people see me. I don’t let people in, I’d rather keep them out. I’m a picky, boring person. I don’t like people easily and I don’t tell them much. I stay inside my own head and I don’t like to come out. I was raised that way. But people are worth it. Communication is worth it, no matter how hard. It’s all worth it. I need to try harder so I can be a person who is able to see and enjoy more beauty in this world. I spent my hr long drive home listening to music and ruminating on these thoughts, trying to plan out all the words I wanted to say here. I don’t think I said any of it right. I’m not satisfied with how I write nowadays. But writing, talking, conveying emotions, all of these things are worth doing. So no matter how crooked and awkward it comes out, I will keep doing it. It is my goal.

#🐌.txt #i wrote this last night bc i had a lot of thoughts driving home and the entire time i was out but they didnt translate well to type #i tried fixing it this morning and its still just off and im sock at reading it so into the void it goes #honestly i could make a playlist to describe my emotiona better at this point but ill never listen to those songs again.. ita just the like #uesterdays vibe #anyways good morning tho.. im gonna make a cup of coffee and take a shower now #i love u all im glad ur here

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canonicallyanxious · 3 years

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not sure if you do anything like this, But what do you think MNC!IsakandEven are doing right now?

oh man anon i have to tell you it’s been ages since i’ve even thought about making new cliches but it’s IMMENSELY COOL there are still people thinking about this fic and these boys!! so bc i was just so irrationally pleased about this ask i dug up some [very old like from 2018 rip] notes of some post-canon hcs i came up with and using those i’m gonna come up with a new list of 2020 appropriate hcs - hope you enjoy them :’]

[side note but this made me realize that 2020 is canonically FOUR YEARS after the end of skam s3 as well as the mnc timeline????? fuck me sdkjfnsdkf]

hmm not sure what the norwegian uni system is like or what quarantine life looks like over there rn but if they’re still in school then Even probably applied to film school after a gap year or two and isak is studying idk compsci or something [for the job security yk]

Even’s friendship with balloon squad still going strong! he’s actually a pretty integral part of their yt channel now, helps them with bts stuff and editing videos and they’re twitch streamers now too so he helps with their stream set up bc none of them [except for maybe mikael] know what the hell they’re doing

mikael made him sit down and do film school apps with him so they probably are going to the same program. Even realized he was into more of the visual storytelling aspect of things so he’s probably leaning more toward cinematography/editing, mikael still on the director track.

isak is of course subscribed to their channel and comments on all of the videos that Even appear in and Even pins every single comment which baffles the channel’s other subscribers bc it’s always shit like “wow what pretentious hipster came up with this shit” and “congrats on being the token white boy” [”Isak,” Even says, kicking at Isak’s ankle where they’re sprawled all over their couch, “you’re a token white boy too”] and “lol ur ugly” [to which even responds using the hei briskeby account “<3” and everyone is like ??????????????????????????????????]

if they’re still in oslo they probably regularly have lunch with each other’s parents. For holiday get togethers they trade off between Even’s parents’ new flat and Isak’s mom’s house, and whenever Even’s parents come to Isak’s mom’s house there’s always lots of jokes about the house they used to live in like “oh HATE what the new neighbors are doing with OUR YARD” or whatever

they probably moved into a flat together 1 or 2 years ago, idk how expensive rent is in Oslo but as they’re both students i’m gonna say they’re probably in a flatshare of some kind. isak insisted on having his own room so he can have a space to go when he wants to sleep without Even hogging the blankets [still a point of contention between them almost a decade and a half into them knowing each other!] so technically on paper they have their own rooms but let’s be fucking real at this point isak’s room is less his room and more the room that has his X-box

for the first like week [maybe even the first month] their roommates were so very confused as to whether they were actually together or just really really close friends [they’re constantly bickering but also spend all their time together but also spend all their time together playing mario kart????] and isak and even probably like forgot to tell them [like they’ve always been “isak and even” u know and now they’re “isak and even plus bomb ass sex and lots of smooches” but still isak and even but they probably forget people they’ve just met don’t know that] and probably had an ongoing debate about it

”Even leaves Isak little drawings on the bathroom mirror in the morning, they’re definitely dating!” “Nah man they’re just friends why wouldn’t they share a room if they were together [worth noting at this point they don’t realize isak’s been sneaking into even’s bed basically every night but don’t worry they will eventually]” “okay if they’re not together they’re definitely pining and should get their shit together bc if I have to see Even give Isak another soppy look over breakfast when he’s not looking i’m going to fucking lose it”

Up until the day they’re sitting at the kitchen table and Even is like “okay i’m gonna get some groceries now” and isak leans over the table to give him a peck on the lips and says “kay love you” and their roommates are like “oh???? you two have finally started dating then??????” and Isak frowns and says “we’ve been dating for three years” and Even yells from the other room “BUT ISAK HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH ME SINCE HE WAS SEVEN” and their roommates’ brains have completely short-circuited

later isak is still frowning like “didn’t we tell them??? i could have sworn we told them” and even is like “do you remember what you said when we first met” and isak is like “i said i’m isak and this is my boy even” and then he’s quiet for a second and he says “oh”

a year or two after that whole mess their roommates cannot believe they ever even doubted but for the most part they’re good roommates and keep the noise levels down so everything is chill [except it’s hard to hang out with them sometimes not because they engage massively in PDA although sometimes they do but because their conversations include so many layers of inside jokes, years and years of them, it’s hard for someone not well versed in the isak-and-even language to follow]

They probably have a dog. maybe two

as of this very second i hope they’re both asleep isn’t it like almost 5 am over there lol

hope this is what you were looking for anon =] thanks for the ask, it was fun to think about these boys again!

#answers #honestly i don't know anymore what's realistic over a timescale of four years #but i'm just rolling with it okay #guys being dudes #Anonymous

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mihidecet · 3 years

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Ok but like, I understand completely Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity sides, to me none of them (except for Dream) are the bad guys. But like Tommy is my boy yk this kid was like betrayal for everyone that he knew, the only one that he could count was Tubbo (even after he found out about the Public Enemy N1 thing) so like I understand why Tommy is so 'mad' and insecure about all this situation.

And the only one who stood up for him was Ramboo, this guy showed up not even one week ago and is the only one on his side, I'm loving their interactions like really but of Ramboo betrays him too I'm gonna be very sad because I'm loving their dynamic.

And like again I don't think Tubbo, Big Q and Fundy are wrong but I understand why Tommy is feeling betrayed.

And Techno just 'hiding' and hearing the conversation, probably is for information and advantage for him but my side that lives for SBI (in this case my entirely being) is thinking that he was there to see what would happens to Tommy, to even for a distance and even being a 'traitor' look up to his little brother (his only little brother now).

Sorry I know that I talk a lot and I'm probably annoying- 💫

Okokok first of all, you're absolutely not annoying!!! I'm just very slow at answering asks bc I'm a dummie and I get too locked up with uni stuff fhmahdks

But absolutely I do not find you annoying, I appreciate all the asks you send me 💕

Under a read more bc I did end up rambling a bit!!!!

So, I must admit I'm a bit behind on the streams! I am caught up with the general story, I know what's been happening, but I haven't seen complete streams in a while and I know what's been happening only thanks to Lando (and my sister who sends me tiktoks ahahah). ((Also this ask has been in my inbox for a while bc it got here the same day Tommy was exiled whops))

But still. The situation is tricky! Tommy is absolutely in the right from his point of view. He did refuse the presidency because he wanted to not be held accountable for L'Manburg stuff, and YET he still got exiled for it. He did burn down George's house, but like ... I didn't think that much of it in the beginning because it's something that's happened so much in general?

Dream did blow the thing out of proportion. From what I know - which isn't much and isn't all, of course - Tommy could have gotten just a simple reprimand and nothing more.

On the other hand, Tubbo is also in the right from my pov. He's stepping into his own place as a power figure and when he makes a decision I have to respect that - Wilbur did point out a lot that he was a "yes-man" and that he wanted him to make his own decisions. Regardless of how the situation turned out (I'm not gonna talk about that because again I haven't been watching Tommy's streams and that is again Dream's fault), Tubbo did make a relatively good decision.

Of course, keeping Tommy in a position of power when he didn't want to be was a bad choice in the beginning (if he hadn't been, the situation would have been different).

But accepting Dream's terms for punishment was a good choice for L'Manburg!

The whole Techno butchers is ,,, not my thing. Do not like it. It's funny in concept but like ,,, I can't see it fit in the story that well ahahah I mean, I can see how them having always been at war will make them think they'll have to fight again in order to feel safe in their country.

I didn't know that Techno had been snooping in on the conversation! I still dream of SBi reforming a new and improved Antartic Empire, so Techno using Tommy's isolation as a perfect chance to bring his brother back to him - maybe against the government that took his older brother from him and that made his best friend exile him?

And yes, Ranboo is an impeccable addition and I do love him a lot! He's clicking with the rest of the "cast" so well and I am incredibly glad about it ahahah

#💫 anon #ask

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seijch · 4 years

Text

send me selfship questions!!

for @raevaioli because i wrote too much the first time and didnt have space to answer everything else 🧍🏻‍♂️

(there’s a lot of shit under the cut NDJKDKS be Warned)

1. where was your first date?

well, youve already heard about the first date that we realized was indeed A Date with futakuchi, but my first Proper Date with him would have to be somewhere like an arcade where we can have fun but still talk?? personally movie (theater) dates aren’t good first dates bc you Have to stay silent until the movie is over?? what’s the APPEAL...

there’s a shared exhale of relief as the large stuffed pokemon gets dropped by the crane into the pickup zone. “i can’t believe you pulled that off,” i tell him.

“you know, just for that, i’m keeping it.”

“you don’t even like pokemon! what happened to ‘this one’s for you, baby?’” i ask, voice dropping an octave to imitate him.

“i never said that, first of all. second of all,” he continues, grip tightening on the rowlet, “i won it. so it’s mine.”

“you fucking suck.”

(he says all this, yet when he drops me off, he insists i take the rowlet with me and name it after him. i graciously oblige, dubbing it coochie jr.)

when it comes to kuroo, he probably Says it’s some kind of unplanned affair but it ends with him unloading a picnic basket as we watch the sun set bc he’s a SAP... hate that fool 😔

“you’ve got good taste in music,” i tell him as the next song on his playlist begins. he’s definitely planning something, but i don’t say anything as his driving becomes less aimless.

“oh, i know,” he grins. “good enough for you to ask me for recommendations, i’d say.”

i’m crossing my arms before his sentence gets to finish. “listen,” i start, “you can’t tell me it didn’t work. we’re together now, aren’t we?” he doesn’t choose to grace that with a response.

before we know it, kuroo’s parked the car. “we’re here.”

“here? at the park? what are you gonna do, hold my hand while we watch the sunset?” i tease, getting out of the car. he doesn’t respond. “tetsu?”

“you really think you know me, don’t you?” he appears from the other side, picnic basket in hand and a resigned smile on his face. “what do you suggest we do now that my surprise has been torn to shreds, hm?”

“i mean...can we still eat? i’m kinda hungry.” i point to the basket. (i’m clearly deflecting ,, i was Not expecting kuroo the simp to jump out so early and my heart Cannot Take It)

2. who normally plans the dates?

between me and futakuchi i’m going to say none of us! we don’t really go on Dates dates, it’s just Us Hanging Out !! with kuroo, at first it’s him tbh but after we get comfortable everything becomes a date... idk tbh i’m not the type to sweat that kind of thing 🕺🏻 i do like to Go Out and do things w my s/o no matter who they are but a date doesn’t always have to be going out nor does it have to be a Special going out yk??

3. what kind of dates would you two mostly go on? do you have a “date spot?”

i mentioned this in my answer for 24, but w kuchi we have this ritual of going out to eat every friday and after we get together that doesn’t change!!! if we’re feeling extra lazy we might order takeout but we always always spend our friday nights together... it’s def smth we look forward to even Before we start dating (and it’s smth we both wonder Why we anticipate before we get tgt)

in terms of a date spot? we have our favorite places (like the ramen joint i mentioned in 24) but other than that maybe a few other restaurants and that’s kinda it! our other dates are the occasional study date but i cannot study when he’s around,, just looking at his face pisses me off 😃 nah but we can’t focus on school together + we’d get heated over a meaningless argument and get kicked out NDNSJSJ

when we get domestic w each other (like in uni or beyond) kuroo and i have all our dates at the grocery store... idk abt you but the INTIMACY of buying groceries w someone you love is so [clenches fist] yk?? but before and sometimes after that point rlly it’s like Things To See and Things To Do whenever kuroo puts himself in charge of planning it bc he knows we both like to be engaged and have fun!! (i alr said it but our date spot is the grocery store <3)

4. what kind of date do you think the both of you would enjoy the most? why?

that’s a very good question... i mentioned it alr but kuroo and i vibe heavy w things that are engaging and give us things to talk about while we keep busy,, like maybe an amusement park or smth w all the rides (we’re definitely spinning the shit out of the teacups) mostly bc i think he likes being kept on his toes and i do too! i think we’d challenge each other to do better by setting an example for the other to follow just in general,, also ngl places w a lot of ppl are good too so we can peoplewatch,, the two of us are the type to read people with a glance and when we need downtime we’d sit down somewhere and just kinda . 👁👁 yk

“i might barf,” i announce, gait crooked from the dizzying ride.

“no, you won’t,” kuroo replies, allowing me to drape myself over him though he’s not walking straight either. “didn’t you hear? vomitting is banned in this country and thirteen others.”

“a shame. anyway, let’s go on the pirate ship ride next.”

(we sit at the outer edge. it’s not a good time for the folks in the two seats in front of us. we wipe our vomit—mostly my vomit—from the corners of our mouths and apologize profusely.)

when it comes to kuchi, i think he’d like smth where we would end up competing against each other! i mentioned this when i answered question 50, but kenji and i are almost TOO competitive over stupid shit so smth like laser tag (where everyone is like ... why don’t you want to work together aren’t you DATING) would be SO fucking fun

“it’s not too late to surrender,” he simpers, my body sandwiched between his and the wall. my gun’s been knocked out of my hand—that’s gotta be against the fucking rules—and part of me feels like i’m on a real battlefield, as fleeting the thought is. “some battles, you just can’t win.” he punctuates this statement with a sage nod, leaning so close his breath fans against my face. “so, what’ll it be?”

i close the gap, pressing my lips against his and relishing in the strangled groan that comes from the back of his throat as he reciprocates, free hand moving to the nape of my neck. the hand holding the gun drops. that’s all the opening i need.

i let him deepen the kiss, take his bottom lip between my teeth and gently tug as my hands reach for his gun while his brain is still between his legs.

aim. fire.

i’m the last one standing, and the lights turn on around us. “it’s always good to have goals,” i tell him, granting him a consolation peck to the lips. “but i suggest making them more realistic next time.”

9. what do you think your first impression of them would be?

now THIS is a question i knew the answer to going in bc my best friend (honestly she doesn’t get paid enough ,, or at all ,, for all the shit she has to put up w from me NDNSKSK) had to hear all abt my elaborate fantasies regarding these two but!!

my first impression of kuroo is 1) 😳😳 and more importantly, 2) I Want To Know What He’s About... bc he’s not the kind of person i’d get the full picture of w just one look and maybe a few words spoken? he’d pique my interest a LOT (and this is smth he shares w tsukishima, tho i don’t see myself in a long lasting relationship w him like i do w kuroo and kuchi!) and i’d end up worming my way into his life whether he likes it or not until i find out :-)

unlike kuroo i see kenji and go Wow. What An Asshole. ok no i don’t NDNSJSN i probably think he’s cute first THEN go what an asshole and there’s definitely a long period of time where we’re genuinely getting on each other’s nerves before it goes into the romantic relationship-adjacent dynamic you see in my answer to 24!

10. what do you think their first impression of you would be?

kuroo’s definitely curious. i don’t imagine him being unable to see thru me from the start but i prove myself to be Good Conversation so he’s fine (and ends up being more than fine) with me bothering him as much as i do. kenji probably sees me the way i think most people see me at first? very soft and sweet ,, and then he tries to rile me up, tries to test the waters and pretty quickly finds out that right under the nice girl is someone that won’t hesitate to mirror the shit he tries to dish out.

(again) 24. would you confess first or would they? how would it have gone?

i saw you said in the tags you wanted to see the kuroo one so here it is 🤝 i had all my fun writing kenji’s so this one is shorter than that but!!!

NDNSNSN anyway !!! with kuroo it’s kinda 50/50 bc i’m not shy when it comes to my feelings but at the same time i like to have the lowest chances possible for failure when it comes to things like this... but i simp SO heavy for him so lbr it’ll prob be me just bc i literally Cannot pretend that my intentions are platonic anymore and he’s not gonna do it first (later i find out he was trying to see how long he could go before one of us mentioned the elephant in the room)

(5:38 PM) me: anyway for the weekly song rec

(5:38 PM) me: khalid ft. john mayer - outta my head

(5:39 PM) me: specifically 1:16-1:25 :-)

the messages have sent before i can think twice or even consult anyone about it. there’s a beat of silence. then two. then three. i throw my phone down onto the bed as it bounces off the mattress and onto the carpet.

what the fuck!!!!!! bitch why did you do that!!!!!!!

there’s no taking it back now. he reads it ten minutes after it sends (not like anyone’s checking, that would be preposterous). the picture i took of him mid-sneeze two months ago lights up the screen, a facetime call from shithead 👺 bringing me to yet another crossroads. do i answer it and face the music (literally), or do i pretend to have been busy and act as though i didn’t just confess to one of my best friends through text and with music, of all things?

i pick up the call.

“i liked the song,” he says as soon as the call opens, “though i can’t help but wonder if there was a hidden meaning to it.”

“and if i told you there was?”

“well,” he replies, sounding a little out of breath (where is he?), “i’d tell you to open your door because i’m outside.”

true enough, when i race downstairs and open the door, he’s waiting for me. “and if i told you that was my way of asking you to be my boyfriend?”

“well, i think i’d want to ask if i could kiss you. assuming, of course, it was alright to do something like that so soon-“

he doesn’t finish his sentence. his lips are a little bit chapped, but pleasant nonetheless, and i tuck the newfound fact away in my file of things i know about kuroo tetsurou.

(for reference, the song lyrics for the part i mention are can you feel the tension / you’ve got my attention / i know we’re just friends but / i’d rather be together instead)

#💘 selfship #also both ari and my real name are Not good names to make ship names out of but????#and its not like kuchi and kuroo are ideal for ship names either so im rlly at a loss NSNDJSJ #excuse how Long it took me to answer this i had to go to work before i could even brainstorm 😔#nd yes...if i ask a man for music recs im 90% up to smth i Admit #BYE I PROMISE I LOVE KUROO LIKE IM IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT THE FUTAKUCHI BRAINROT... SO STRONG #fun fact i actually asked someone out using the song i mention in kuroos confession scene 😃#this is also called ari overuses the italics function 😃#anyway im sure im forgetting to say a lot of shit but ill cross that bridge when i get there :-)#thank you again for asking raenah NDNSMSM #also after having given it some Thought i think kuri would be half decent for kuroo??#for futakuchi ... god i hate this slimy bastard i can’t think #maybe chika w the ka coming from my real name 👁#i’ve never been huge on portmanteau names but . if i had to pick i would choose those

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saltine-kakyoin · 4 years

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jotaro!!

oH!! THE son boy! yes!!! thank you so much shannon!!!!

1 sexuality headcanon: i really do feel like jotaro is ace, through and through. imo being constantly ogled by people throughout your final years in hs + most likely throughout uni would kind of make the whole thing a no-go for me.. besides that, though, I just don’t think it’s something that ever really crosses on his radar, yk?

2 otp: alright alright alright so. this is gonna be really funny when we get to #4, but jotakak! this is no surprise- you’ve seen my tags before 😳😳 however, it really does have to be a very Specifically done jotakak. kakyoin’s canonically been noted to be one of the only people who Get jotaro, and i forget that one editor’s description of them but like. even the crew acknowledge that they have a really great and deep bond- romantically or not, i really do think that they feel super at home with each other! a lot of people have the criticism that all of the appeal with jotakak comes from the fandom, which is true for the most part, but like.. idk, for me, it’s like a funky slowburn w kak or nothing. I don’t think we’ve encountered another character in the canon that meshes with jotaro as well. I’ve seen jotareport going around, but unfortunately i haven’t read stocean yet so idk if it’s a solid contender 3

3 brotp: jotaro and polnareff!!! motorcycle robbery bros until the END! I love the progression of their friendship- who else is going to mercy-kill and sacrifice kakyoin in the desert? plus.. the alessi adventures were Something. they’re both so stupid

4 notp: to quote david dickau’s laughing song, haa ha HE he he ha ha ha he ha ha... jotakak as well! B) the downside to jotakak being completely up to the fandom is that portions of the fandom will absolutely butcher and strip them down to the big guy + softboy! which fjjghdt oh! it makes my blood boil lol!! Jotaro and Kakyoin are BOTH really interesting characters, and their bond is something special! it does them such a disservice to portray them with harmful and outdated stereotypes.. oughhh i will not delve much further into this one because I get really miffed about it... you gotta love the dichotomy of jotakak q v qb

5 first headcanon that pops into my head: jotaro subconsciously has a lot of the same mannerisms as lisa lisa, but nobody really recognizes it beyond joseph and holly! which! makes for some v :’( times in the sda, especially when he accidentally does the Ever Famous backwards cigar trick ; - ;

6 one way in which I relate to this character: I also assume that people just know what I’m talking about/thinking! i’ve yet to get it through my thick skull that they, in fact, do not B’)

7 thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: his one liners oh my god i literally luv u to DEATH jotaro, but like ghshgh your one liners are terrible8 cinnamon roll or problematic fave? cinnamon roll, hands down, no cap. he’s like a delinquent through and through (dining and dashing!! jotaro i’ll kill you!) but like. he was just a dude before sdc. none of the crusaders deserved what they went through, but jotaro did Nothing to deserve being saddled with the deaths of THREE of his best friends :( if I think on it too long about how those 50 days affected him, down to his relationship with his wife and daughter, i cry ;-;

#someone snipe me before i write a thesis about jotaro kujo #thank you again shannon! <3 this one was really fun to do #sriracha ask game #starsplatinum

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simonarmstrcng · 5 years

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heyo, i’m pepper, and i’m late as usual (who’s surprised?? not me lmao)! i am here to introduce you to my favourite mess, simon who was actually one of my first muses! i’m trying to revive him so atm he’s a bit bare bones but here’s hoping i can get through this intro coherently (unlikely, but i’ll try)

[ MUSE 3 ] ●● is that LUCAS JADE ZUMANN ? no, that’s just SIMON ARMSTRONG , the 16 year old CISMALE who is a HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR. some say they’re NERVOUS AND AWKWARD, but their family and friends will swear they’re INTELLIGENT AND COMPASSIONATE. when i think of them, i think of the smell of books, fingers indented by violin strings, freshly dusted spelling bee trophies, wrinkled noses, ironed socks, ink stained fingers, and notebooks filled with doodles. i wonder if their family know that HE is hiding that HE’S QUESTIONING HIS SEXUALITY. ●● ( pepper && twenty two && est && she/her )

BIO(ISH)

tl;dr he’s a soft anxious overachieving nerd who likes to draw. that’s it, that’s really it idk why i took so long to say that sdkjsdkj

here is an aesthetic moodboard for simon and here and here are a few personality one’s with gifs! also here is his pinterest board

inspired by: seth cohen, stiles stilinski, amy santiago, hermione granger (and a bit of neville longbottom i’m ngl), spencer reid.

simon has always been a bit high strung tbh i’m ngl. he was the kid on the playground who was always a bit too mature for the kids around him in the way that he’d be like five and stressing about his potential career paths or the state of global warming yk, always kind of had conversations with grown adults that made them do a double take just because very adult conversation coming out of a tiny kid can be kind of startling. that said, he never really quite fit in with his peers because of that, i feel like he may have even been bullied for it a bit in the past. he was definitely that kid who reminded the teacher about the homework i am not going to lie to you.

simon always took academics extremely seriously. he always puts pressure on himself to be perfect and get straight a’s and he is like the definition of a try hard, simon tries hard at freaking everything. his hard work pays off though, he’s been at the top of the honour roll for the past few years and he’s got more spelling bee, science fair, debate, and decathlon trophies decorating his room than he knows what to do with.

(not one for any athletics though,,, physical exercise was never simon’s strong suit)

also plays the violin and the piano, again, more evidence of him being a huge overachiever. he is actually quite talented honestly but he isn’t really incredibly passionate about either instrument.

simon has asthma, is allergic to bees, has sleep paralysis and pretty bad anxiety. he used to get panic attacks as a child and while he hasn’t quite grown out of it, it’s not nearly as bad now. i feel like he is on medication for it though and he may even go to therapy.

afraid of abandonment (irrational because i’m pretty sure he’s never been abandoned but it’s there) and he’s also afraid of failure, of being a disappointment to his family, of never living up to his potential (when he was younger he was advanced for his age academically so he has skipped a grade.) he fears that he’s a disappointment to his parents as a son considering he is the farthest thing one can be from a potential fbi agent, and considering he can’t even do a lap without wheezing he doesn’t think he ever will be, but he is trying to aim for forensics instead of anything in the actual field anywhere close to actual danger. kind of insecure despite his success and low, low, low, low low key kind of feels like the kid his dad brought home might be his new replacement as a son.

one of his closest friends is the school guidance counselor atm. think edge of seventeen. he just goes in there, eats his lunch and talks to her about everything that’s going on with his life like it’s cheap therapy.

wants to go to harvard and is a big ball of stress over it currently. he’s hit a whole new level of academic intensity and his sexuality crisis is not helping in the slightest, but it is very much happening and he doesn’t know what the hell to do about it thanks for asking. he may be bi or gay or pan or none of the above, he’s not sure and he’s not thinking about it because he doesn’t have time to be questioning his sexuality when college admissions are rearing their ugly head.

a big introvert. can occasionally be very witty and funny if he’s comfortable you but if he’s not he tends to just be quiet and kind of awkward. tends to enjoy to spend a lot of time alone in his room playing animal crossing, or indulging in a very private hobby, drawing.

simon has always loved art and comics and drawing but he knows they’re kind of pointless passions, like realistically he doesn’t think he will even actually become a comic book artist the odds are too low. and yet that hasn’t stopped him from doing it. drawing is really one of the only things that really calms his anxiety, and that he really enjoys doing. that and reading. so simon has secretly been drawing a comic. he hasn’t really shared it with anybody and would die if anyone found out about it. here is a moodboard for the comic (he’s going by the pen name orion kace like the nerd he is) and here are some headcannons about it.

honestly a big sap. like lilo and stitch can still make him tear up even if he won’t admit it dkjdkj. he’s got a soft heart and kind of just wants to make sure everybody’s okay tbh. tends to worry more than he lets on which is saying something because he worries outwardly a lot too.

can be very tempermental/moody and selfish though, especially when stressed. he gets to a very self centered ‘woe is me i’m the only one with problems’ place when he’s stressed out.

a big ass nerd! i feel that goes without saying but loves comics books, loves star wars, harry potter, and could probably recite the opening scene of game of thrones yk, that kind of nerd.

has never gone to a party. has never smoked weed. has never snuck out. has never tasted more than a sip of alcohol. honestly, simon hasn’t done anything, and he’s okay with that.

i think that’s it omg tHAT’S PROBABLY IT.

WANTED CONNECTIONS ;

best friends - i feel like at least two of these would be fun! a little squad for my lonely boy (2/2) cailin, john

childhood friends - i will give you my left arm for a childhood friends plot. unlikely friends maybe? or just two nerds being dweebs together? friends who are still close as hell friends who had a falling out or just grew apart, idc i love it all please give it to me. cailin

the ex - i feel like simon maybe had ONE relationship in his lifetime if that and relationship might be stretching things. they could have held hands on the playground when they were six or dated in middle school (do you like me check yes or no sdkjsdk) kind of think like it could be that or it could be a high school thing, once again idc give it to me.

student - someone who simon tutors maybe? simon is probably volunteering to do it to look good on his uni application so Yes free tutoring from your local nerd. skylar, aria,

crush - like i said simon is questioning his sexuality so if anybody wants to volunteer to be the boy that simon has an inconvenient crush on please be my guest. scout

rival - an academic rival would be !!! so fun, because simon is lowkey quite competitive so this could be a really interesting connection. farrah

mentor - someone who simon looks up to a whole lot. this would likely have to be someone either really cool or really nerdy and this is open to older muses mostly, just older than simon tbh ajax

bad influence - someone who will get this boy to live a little! maybe drag him out to a party, get him a joint, get him drunk, the works! leo, andrew

those are just some ideas but ofc like this if you want to plot and i will come running! okay thank

#ashcroftintro.#s.a. | intro.#wow i can't believe how long this took amazing dkdfn #sORRY Y'ALL BUT I'M HERE AND READY TO PLOT NOW

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leftperfectionmoon · 2 years

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I want advice if that okay. I have a crush on this boy in my school, for almost five years, and we sometimes even flirted and stuff but, now, he is more of a 'bad' boy yk who gets all the girl (I'm not the innocent girl, btw). I would love if you'll give me some tips on how to either approach him (I haven't talked to him in three years; big thanks to the pandemic) or get over him. I love your blog<3

Hey!! Thank you! That's very sweet of you! ❤️

That sounds super sweet and super sad at same time :(

Well I think you really like him if your crush has lasted so long. Give it a shot, you never know what might happen. From what you've described you two only seem to have grown apart, which is totally understandable.

You said he's suddenly a 'bad boy' and stuff but I hope that doesn't apply to him as a person. Because if he's a 'bad' person then it's a no. But of course you know him best.

Now, onto some actual advice: Just simply be confident and yourself. By this I mean don't try to please him *or anyone*. Figure out your common interests or see if you have mutual friends so that it'd be an excuse to hang out. If you follow each other on social media then this will be easier. Common interests are really great conversation starters. You can reply to his stories and stuff.

Plan some activities eg. This friend that I have invites me and my friends to the library to study just so he could see his crush and it works out smoothly. So maybe instead of library you can your mutual friends and him to an exhibition or a school/uni festivals (if you have those), parks or whatever you like.

Don't worry too much, if there's a will there's a way, so you'll figure it out ;)

Remember, the important thing is to know your worth. So don't belittle yourself in the process because this tends to happen in such situations. Don't laugh at everything he says, only the actual funny stuff or don't be biased. If you see him doing or acting wrong, don't make up excuses for it in your mind. Our crushes are human beings too and are completely capable of being embarrassing in their lives. We don't need to idolize them. Just treat them like you'd treat a good friend.

And in any other case, if you feel like he's not worth it and need to get over him I think there's not much you can do about it. Only time can help you get over your crushes. So find something to distract you, read a novel, listen to music (that doesn't remind you of him), or eat some ice cream and you'll be fine.

Btw, I apologize in advance if none of these are helpful. I don't have any experience of dating/crushing in the pandemic. So I know this must be a hard time. But I hope that everything works out and that you'll charm him into another universe <3

Update me on your story!!!

#anon answered #my beloved moons #wow this one turned out to be super long

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timextoxhajima · 3 years

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I LIKE HOW THERES A WHOLE DISCUSSION UNDER YOUR RESPONSE FOR MY ASK HAHAHAHA

omg i guess i’ve been too sheltered since i don’t stay in hall + all my friends are the super religious conservative type (like sex before marriage is a sin that kind, there’s even one friend who’s super extreme she said she’s going to remain celibate) so i had no idea?? that people my age have had sex before?? am i the only clueless one OMG

but thanks for sharing your experience with me and i’m glad you managed to cut that guy off UGH it’s always the finance guys… or the med school guys 🤮🤮

i also like how you said that once you did it you realised it wasn’t as big as a deal as everyone made it out to be,, as someone who’s never been in a relationship before i always thought that losing your virginity was a Big Thing yknow 🥯

i mean yeah i do have friends who are like that too but the ones who give a shit about me and know what kind of person they am, they just- like? ig they know that being a virgin or not doesn't have anything to do with a person's character to some extent? [ok this part need to disclaimer cause i rlly rlly think it also depends on how religious they are. i have friends who are really devoted christians/catholics like they join uni christian union tht kind but like after i tell them, we still friends so]

LMAO it's ok i also didn't know HAHAHHAAH when i first lost it at 19 y/o i was damn scared that i was 'too young' but then REALLY FUCKING SOON i started to realise that it's the norm - but it's the kind that like, nobody talks about it until you've done it yk so if you haven't done it then it's not a surprise you don't know

but thanks for sharing your experience with me and i’m glad you managed to cut that guy off UGH it’s always the finance guys… or the med school guys 🤮🤮

KSHDFLKDF HE'S NEITHER PLS HE'S A FUCKING ENGIN STUDENT HE'S JUST PART TIMING AS AN EXTERNAL FIN ADVISOR KSJFNLSKDFLSF FKIN SKDFSKLDF (it kinda sucks that he looks like a discounted nam joo hyuk but the s*x wasn't even that good HRRRRRR)

yeah i thought it was a big thing too. it'll always be a big thing if you're a virgin/never had a rls before. i had my first boyfriend during o level period but we didn't sleep tgt cause we both too pussy to fuck up o level HAHAHAHAH

for me it was particularly bad the first time i had a d*ck in me bec it was with my toxic-as-fuck boyfriend before he became toxic :"))))) but like we were both so scared that the bitch stuck it in and DIDNT FUCKING MOVE and i was like??? fuck??? that's it?? that's how?? i'm losing my??? okay???

then the whole toxicity started when i got more active in hall and more in need of my alone time and then i got fucking upset that i had to lose it to this fucking psycho (like for reals he threatened to stalk me, asked me for money if not he'll tell my conservative parents we slept tgt WHICH WAS IT EVEN FUCKING CONSIDERED SLEEPING TGT IF ALL HE DID WAS STICK IT INSHJFKJSDF)

and like, i fucking panicked la lol i was like not only did i not have good s*x, but it was also WITH A PSYCHO????????????

and i learnt that- it doesn't really matter?? cause after about 2 months someone started chasing me (the one whom i wrote sangyeon's fic for, my last rls) and he knew all about my toxic ex and- he didn't really care about what happened and like, i genuinely felt really loved by him (which led to the whole intimacy thing and how we were pretty s*xually active lol) and from then on i kind of? understood? that it's honestly just an act of intimacy, albeit some religions condemn it and treat it as a sin (which, disclaimer, i understand as well and i wouldn't want anyb to even think about it if it means betraying their faith)

i think it really depends on how you see it. i have Christian friends who don't give a fuck about me not being a virgin but he said he'll never date a girl who's slept with a guy that's not her s/o (aka someone like me) but he's perfectly fine if the girl slept with an s/o which, yknow, totally makes sense!!

i have friends who've had MULTIPLE fwbs idk how they do it lmao and i have friends who go BACK to their exes for the fucks so like,,,,,,??

imo as long as it doesn't compromise your morals and principles as a person, it shouldn't matter. same goes for other bad habits (stereotypically) like vaping smoking drinking - my psycho ex did none of those (and he's a mf scholar rn in the same uni lol) and i think i'd rather date a guy who smokes and drinks but is kind and takes care of me yknow

#tth.🥯anon #CUE THE DISCUSSION IN THE COMMENTS

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