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manonamora-if-reviews · 1 year

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Pageant by Autumn Chen

============= Links

Play the game See other reviews of the game See other games by Autumn or follow her @cyberpunklesbian

============= Synopsis

Your name is Qiuyi (Karen?) Zhao, and you’ve just been signed up by your parents for a beauty pageant. You’re not ready, not even close, but you don’t have a choice. But perhaps you can make the best of it. Maybe it’s the one opportunity to create a “hook” for your college application. Maybe you can reinvent yourself, get rid your anxiety and become someone new. Or maybe you can find true love (or some approximation thereof).

============= Other Info

Pageant is a Dendry* game, first published in 2018 and completed in 2020. *Autumn is also an unofficial maintainer of the Dendry format.

Status: Completed Genre: Dating-sim, Slice-of-life, LGBT

CW: / Note: homo/trans-phobia, talks of suicide, passing out from exhaustion, anxiety.

============= Playthrough

First Played: Some time in 2022? Last Played: 27-May-2023 Playtime: around +2h(-ish) - two proper playthroughs Rating: 5 /5 Thoughts: Winning the pageant is not everything, but the journey is worth the anxiety.

============= Review

Pageant follows Qiuyi (Karen) Zhao (mentioned as Karen below), a Chinese teenager living in the US, as she navigates through school and extra-curriculars, relationships and identity, family expectations and community, and the pageant her parents signed up for. Through limited storylets choice, you can carve Karen's priorities and relationships.

Spoilers ahead. It is recommended to play the game first. The review is based on my understanding/reading of the story.

Did I once again read the Post-Mortem before writing this? Yes. Couldn't help myself. Also this is a bit more eclectic, tried hard to put my thoughts in order, didn't workl...

Pageant was created with Dendry, a storylet narrative program, where the player get to experience linear side-stories in fragmented way. Every week, the player can pick up to three options from the storylet lists to start or continue a path. As the list is often longer than three options, the player is forced to make choices and prioritise a certain path (a recurring gameplay type in Autumn's games). This makes for great and interesting replayability!

The story start with Karen being summoned by her parents, revealing that they signed her up for a pageant, happening in three months. There is no bargaining no quitting (it's good for college apps!). In three months, Karen will be on that podium*. During that prep period, she still needs to balance school (a full AP curriculum), the Science Olympiad, doing an understudy with a college professor (also set up by your parents), having dinner with your family, going to bible study on the weekend, and etc... Doesn't this sound like too much for a high school student? And was it yet mentioned that Karen is a socially awkward mess, who has trouble making relationships, is full of anxiety and self-loathing, struggling with her identity as a Chinese teenager in the US (her used name not being her birthname, and having the option to butcher your name's pronunciation) and a closeted lesbian (or something like that says the game). *well, there is a way.

Along the way you are introduced to a handful of characters: Emily, a trans woman still in the closet, Aubrey, a girl Karen had a crush on also part of the Science Olympiad team, and Miri, Karen's only friend. There is also Karen's parents and her little brother, Kevin; Professor Chen and his grad student; the rest of the Science Olympiad Team; and the other families attending the Church. Through out the game (and your choices) you get to learn more about these characters, like how Emily deals with her family's trans/homophobia, or Miri's feelings towards you, your family's history...* The storylets really shine here, giving you crumbles here and there, forcing you to piece those back together (and forces you down a certain path to learn everything). *Even after playing multiple times, I have yet to found all variations.

And at the centre of it all, Karen, the very flawed teenager. Yet, even with her self-deprecation and anxious spirals, with the awkward way she interacts with other people, with dealing with different cultural values and expectations about her life, or with her inability to stand up to herself (partly because of her guilt of "having it easy" compared to older generations), Karen stays a character you want to root for. You want to help her win that pageant and be more sure of herself. You want her to be more confident in her identity (and get a girlfriend). You want her to find her passions (in science?) and win accolades. You want to pluck her from her stressful world, wrap her in a blanket, kiss her on her forehead, and tell her that everything will be ok.

The whole game is filled with such genuine interactions, with teenagers blurting out their deepest secrets to strangers, declaring their love to one another even after but a few meetings, being self-loathing with a self they don't recognise or don't want to be anymore but unable to leave that shell, trying to handle the stress and anxiety of the expectations of others and not being able to reach those. And those are made all the more vibrant through Karen's inability to react "properly". Faced with bad and worse choices, you get to experience that anxiety of what would happen if I say or do the wrong thing. It feels genuine, because it feels real and lived through.

As the ending came around, and you get the rundown of Karen's actions, it felt like, while winning the pageant is definitely one/the goal, the journey was much sweeter than the destination. And that's what keeps making me want to come back to it...

Some other notes:

The visual of Dendry is quite reminiscent of ChoiceScript games, with its simple and contrasting colours and choice box or its achievements list; as well as Ink games in the story/storylets parts, as the text linked to the chosen option is appended to the main body, breaking only when the storylet ends and you need to pick another one or the story needs a break. It's honestly fun to see how two program can be merged (visually) and work this way.

There's kind of a fun parallel between Pageant and Great-grandmother and the war in the way the characters of Karen and Emily are portrayed similarly to Zhang and Yan. The first is socially awkward, introverted and filled with anxiety; the second is out-going, harbouring a secret, and yearning to live their truth. But this is only obvious if you do interact with Emily in this game.

#Pageant #Autumn Chen #complete #interactive fiction #2020 #review #LGBT #romance #slice of life #dendry game #choice based

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thebigqueer · 3 years

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I have a question your you! How would you solve the Two Generals Problem? Let me explain what it is first: there are two generals. They both need to attack a base at the same time. The two generals are separated by a forest so they can not combine and they need to tell each other that they are ready for the attack. Both the generals have 2 scouts that they can send as a messenger but, scouts may be killed on the way. How do you tell the other general you are ready to attack? Good luck!

you suck it up and run into the forest and get lost 50 times but eventually you find the other general because my brain does not workl lskdflkjSFLKf

#LKSKS im sorry anon :sob:#anon tag #asks

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mallorycain · 3 years

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Macro Post

Competency F16: Apply principles of leadership, governance and management, which include creating a vision, empowering others, fostering collaboration and guiding decision making

The main theme of Team CommWell's practicum for this semester is reviewing Joint Commission standards and CommWell policies. As CommWell gets prepared for the upcoming Joint Commission review, our team has been assigned individual projects and policies to review to make sure they meet the required standards. I have personally worked on policies and education materials regarding board education and emergency management. My teammates have worked on other topics such as sorting through and organizing policies regarding the substance use units, education materials on patients with special needs, and creating guidelines for an antimicrobial stewardship program at CommWell.

Our practicum is helping me experience the competence listed above in the sense of weekly collaboration sessions with my group. For our first meeting, we worked together to divide the different projects among our group based on personal interests and experience. For example, one of my group members had a special interest in working with children with disabilities, so our group decided they would be assigned this group of policies to foster personal growth in the interest. We discuss our goals and interests with our group preceptor, but we ultimately govern ourselves within the group. At one of our most recent meetings, our group presented the materials that we have been working on individually to the group during a Zoom meeting. This allowed our group members to collaborate with each other to gain access to constructive feedback, but also allow group members to appreciate and encourage one another on the hard work they have been doing. It is interesting because we are all working on different topics, meaning that we all are learning from one another's project as well as our own. I am also learning from my group members and their experience.

My project focused on board education materials. The joint commission standard requires distinct roles and responsibilities outlined for leadership and board members of the organization. This requirement is important because having clear roles and responsibilities allows for a more organized and efficient establishment. The board education materials also served as a way of reviewing concepts such as what quality care means, recent CommWell statistics regarding specific health disparities, and reviewing the different committees and their responsibilities. It is especially important to review these education materials and recent statistics on local health disparities for board members and leadership to stay up to date on the needs of the population they are serving.

While the specific goal of our practicum is mainly focused on the policy construction and "behind the scenes" aspect of organizations such as CommWell, this experience has given me insight to the effects of rurality and the ability to apply concepts learned in class. CommWell offers healthcare and treatment programs on a sliding scale as an attempt to break down barriers to healthcare that many face in rural communities. As discussed in class, people in rural communities are more likely to have a lower socioeconomic status and, therefore, be underinsured and unable to afford healthcare. CommWell making healthcare more affordable to this population allows access to care to be more attainable. However, the lack of access to care in these areas is a much more complex issue that cannot be solved by just making care more affordable. Oftentimes, health is hardiness in these rural communities. This means that people are less likely to seek care, especially essential preventative care. CommWell also offers an inpatient substance abuse program which is especially beneficial to the community given the prevalence of substance abuse in rural areas.

Team CommWell's work this semester alleviates the workload of administration and the leadership team by giving them a major head start for preparation related to Joint Commission review. With COVID numbers persisting, the staff at CommWell could use help now more than ever. For these reasons, our team is working hard to get through as many policies and materials as possible during the semester so there is minimal work on that part to do before joint commission review in the spring. Our work with CommWell has allowed us to not only collaborate with one another, but with the organization to allow us insight into how FQHCs serve the community. I appreciate this partnership with CommWell as an MSPH/PA student because it allows me to see all of the work that goes into running a FQHC and the requirements needed for joint commission.

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justtinylittlerocks · 3 years

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Another day

I can’t work. It is another day. Another day with migraines. And again it is another day. I workled for 5 hours. I have 2 more meetings and a lot more expectations of me, that don’t fit in the 8 hour work frame. I spent my last 15 minutes playing game on my phone. I don’t know why I am like that. I don’t want to be. But it is not simple and just not be.

I never thought I would be that kind of person. Sure everbody has a day off. But lately it seams more and more.

The first time I had trouble with this was on my last job. Hey I was close to 5 years there. (Besides the fact that my boss cheated me and the goverment and didn't pay my work age or what ever is it called on english)

I didn't slack of. But before he accused me for a lie. I felt sad and betrayed. I could not work. All I wanted to do is cry. I was so empty the 5 months I was there. Sure I worked. I was reading online articles. Sort of being in slow motion.

But I don’t know what is with this job. I have been here for close to 3 years. I have motivation problems form the past year or so. But mostly year. I don’t think it is Covids fault. Or maybe it is.

Latley I just slack off, hack my computer so it looks like I am working. I don’t think that is right. And I feel bad for it.

I wish I could just wake up form this. Saying this it seems that I am asleep for past 2 years.

Mom said that it is cause I am not happy and overworked cause I worked on holidays, weekends, and 14 to 16h. But everbody has, and I found it alarming that I can’t any more. I have a lot of vacation days form last year. well most of it. But I don’t think it would help.

I need help. I need to wake up.

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my-australian-life · 7 years

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18/2/17

I’ve missed a few posts lately and thats just because I’ve been workling all week and haven’t really remembered. two weeks until the switch comes out and I haven’t been the best with saving my money for it. I thought it would be easy to save the money but for some reason I have issues with not spending money that I get, it makes me mad but I just need to learn how to be smarter. There’s been heavy thunderstorms since yesterday on and off, gto drenched getting into my car yesterday after work and the thunder wont stop but I think it has finally passed which is kinda nice. I love thunderstorms and rain but theres always a chance it will cut the power and that just sucks all round. been drinking for an hour and I’m feeling pretty good. The girl just woke up so that’s really nice. PRobably going to play hearthstone with her tonight and that’s always fun. the only problem is whenever I get beaten I usually get really mad and It’s like I cant control it and I get really mean and pissy. I wish I didn’t but I just need to work on it because I don’t like being mean to her, she deserves to be treated so well because she’s perfect. been an hour or two and im feeling pretty drunk and I’m happy. I don’t really know what to do when I’m not working during the day, It’s a little sad. My step dad has also gone to see bruce springsteen live so that’s awesome This song means a lot to me. I used to listen to it back when I was 13 and it made me so happy. It was some of the first songs of Bliss N eso i heard and fell in love with it. They have always been making music that makes me extremely happy and proud to be australian. Although their style has changed since their first few albums they still make relevant music that hits close to home. I love you Jenna Cause this is for you you're the reason I wrote this You're the reason I stand in the rain and get my clothes wet

#Saturday 18 February 2017

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more-than-what-you-bargained-for · 5 years

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my minds been so dead today from just pure exhaustion and just so much busyness at workl, ive not been able to really process all this change. It’s still so unbelieveablly overwhelming. It’ s also been slightly defeating and disheartening for me to accept that I needed help, and to take that help. It’s one of the first times I've ever really done that.....and to do it with an employer is even harder because I normally show no weakness. Given she’s been so good to me, she still doesn’t know the real me, my quirks, the fact that I actually smoke weed regularly, that I love drinking(she hates both), and that i’m pretty sexually liberated. Also that I’m pretty much a slacker in life, despite how hard I work, it always tends to be the easier route because i’m already fighting a losing battle on so many different levels.

#caitlinroseslifeonpaper

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loud-snoring-os · 7 years

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Doesn't live up to its promise.... This book seemed to promise me a novel approach towards coping with competition anxiety (I’m a nationally competitive amateur athlete). I wanted to like this book. I was excited to start it. The reviews were glowing, and the author seemed to be someone who could speak from authority. Go to Amazon

It's easy to stay in your lane your entire life and ... It's easy to stay in your lane your entire life and get the expected results. Fear is something to be afraid of, the two go hand in hand. Kristen Ulmer's book challenges the reader to look at fear differently, to develop a new relationship with it, and switch lanes. Who knows where it will take you? Somewhere better, I hope. I've read the criticisms of her book, how it isn't original, etc. Whether that is the case or not (and does it matter?) her ideas are compelling, her anecdotes and words prompted "aha" moments for me, and she showed me another way of living life --- by giving the very original examples of how she has lived hers --- and the courage to look at my relationship with fear differently. I'm not a fan of self-help books, they are usually a page or two of information and 150 pages of filler that I can do without. Her book kept me interested and engaged all the way through. Go to Amazon

Ulmer writes like she skis Ulmer writes like she skis: fast, witty, engaging, interesting and never boring. I thoroughly enjoyed every single page. Plus, after 10 years of living through some of the worst stuff ever, she helped me break out, reclaim the way I used to think and feel 10 years ago and enjoy life again. Thank you Kristen. Go to Amazon

Enlightening Very different way of looking at fear than what we are usually taught. Instead of trying to overcome it you need to embrace it. I completely agree with this train of thought. Fear is something we will always feel and that is not a bad thing. Go to Amazon

Loved it Great book! Kristen's knowledge on the topic of Fear is second-to-none. I enjoyed the metaphors and stories and often stop to think which employee is speaking out in each moment. Thanks for the tips Kristen! Go to Amazon

The Methods in this Book Absolutely Workl. I have been fortunate to know Kristen for almost a decade. I can tell you she practices what she preaches and it works! I had been so closed in by fear that I had almost completely isolated myself from people. Using the methods of this book she was able to get myself, a 58 year old hermit, to fly halfway around the world, solo, to Kathmandu, Nepal, a city that makes me think of the wild, wild West. I then went on a Trek to Everest Base Camp. It was such an incredible experience that I went back the next year and went on a trek around the Annapurna Mountain Range. As long as I have the means I will travel as much as I can the rest of my life. I would never have done anything remotely related to these experiences had it not been for the methods she teaches in this book! Once again, she practices what she preaches and it works! She woke me to an entirely new World where the future is unlimited. Go to Amazon

After over a decade making life or death decisions and ... Good book for getting unstuck A Fresh Look at a Worn Topic Skip This One love, prosperity and success in life Change how you relate to fear Best book for self discovery Learning to Embrace Fear and Other Emotions

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