#I’m aware I’m in the wrong here

[just-rogi]

.

#listen I know this is insane and parasocial and crazy #right? #I’m aware I’m in the wrong here #but #I’ve loved Taylor swift since I was like ten years old #and during her 1989 era she did an interview where she said if calories didn’t count she’d eat chicken tenders #years later she came out and said that during that time in her life she was struggling with ED and was miserable #and was recovering #and has been open about the fact that she’s continued to struggle but is choosing to heal #and she’s been like one of the only public figures to actually talk about ed in a way that actually meant anything to me #and it’s not my business it doesn’t matter ok it doesn’t fucking matter and I wouldn’t say this to her or anyone or w ever #but she was just at a football game eating chicken tenders #and man #it’s not about me it’s not my business and doesn’t effect me in ANY way #but GOD I wanted to cry #bc I feel like sometimes it’s not ever worth it and you never really recover and no matter how hard you try #recovery is unobtainable in any permanent way and you can be clean for days or weeks or months or YEARS #but it never really goes away not really you just kinda have to decide one day that healing is worth more now than how painful #and difficult and humiliating recovering is #and MAN it’s NOT about me and I shouldn’t care about what a billionaire is eating for lunch because it doesn’t effect me #and it’s invasive and parasocial and kinda gross to even know that shit about her #but god idk why her stupid chicken tenders and semingly ranch are making me cry #I hope she loved her chicken tenders I hope they were amazing I hope she didn’t even think twice about eating them #but if she did - because I feel like I always will- I’m glad she chose to get them anyway #it’s so hard to explain bc it feels so stupid lol #fuckin ranch too goddamn lol

[cowchickenbeefpork]

look I’m not going to argue that Edward truly loved Kristen for who she was genuinely ( he didn’t ) but seeing him as someone who got over her death and it barely affected him is kinda a reading I can’t agree with at all

I know what scene started this reading it was the whole “actually I do enjoy hurting people this is my true self and I greatly thank Kristen for making me reach my potential” but that realization came from when he cut her up, no? When you go back to THAT SCENE he describes how the light vanishing from her eyes was beautiful. This means two things, one, he had to first known he was hurting her, and two he was enjoying that fact

WHEN YOU GO BACK TO THE SCENE WHERE HE KILLED HER THERES NO TRACE OF THIS IN THE ACTING THERE!!!!! He’s not even angry he’s more so desperate to explain himself, he even smiles as he tells her he loves her and would NEVER HURT HER! And when he realized he killed her he sobbed himself to the point of blacking out. Even if you brush off the fact riddler is very poorly written and just make it be ed the fact he blacked out and went out fucking around with her corpse while not remembering any of it and only hours later regained consciousness and now having to search around the gcpd to find her. Genuinely why should I believe a man, who consistently convinces himself he’s actually super smart and has no emotions is telling ME the truth here about his own feelings when I as the viewer have just witnessed things that contradict this!!!!

Also the show contradicts that whole motive like two episodes later!!!!!!!!!! When Oswald tried to kill Ed for saying his mother made him weak Edward discusses Kristen’s death and says love wasn’t meant for men like them and that it will always weaken them. Notice how different of a explaination that is to the one in the woods? The one in the woods basically says it was his true self leaking out and he actually had some awareness of what he was doing and he enjoyed every second of it and he feels no remorse. The one during this scene says that it was unavoidable, an accident, but actually him brushing over his feelings and forcing himself to not think about it or ever attempt to love again is the correct awnser. Doesn’t the second answer flow better with the actual death? It aligns exactly with both his narcissism making him unable to admit he was in the wrong and also unable to let him grieve since it would go against the idea he has of himself in his head and aligns with the fact it was a ACCIDENT WHERE HE DIDNT EVEN INTEND TO HURT HER AT ALL!!!

I can’t blame people for taking the whole actually I enjoyed it reasoning as the true one since Gotham is very very badly written but the reasoning he gave to Oswald works better for his character and for the event itself! The whole point of that death was you can hurt people without even trying to and not be able to see that ur acting like the people who have hurt them before it’s too late and that’s!!!! Powerful but Gotham just had to make Edward secretly evil and sadicist this whole time which takes away from that message. The first time he finally realizes Kristen was a person who existed outside of what he thought of and was capable of thinking and acting outside of his image of her was when she died, and he pushed her back into a fucking box, a fucking role she played to further him in his life because the mere horror of his actions were too hard to bare, he had to convince himself this would always happen and it was either of their flaunts to keep his ego intact.

not to mention how the whole denying he needs love in his life kinda relates heavily back to his npd too. Since he couldn’t get what he wants he feels terrible and then convinces himself that actually WHAT HE WANTED was the inadequate thing instead of him, so he doesn’t have to mourn the fact that he couldn’t have it. It’s projection in a way, he projects his inner wants and desires that he hates to others so he can mock them and feel better. He is telling himself he doesn’t need connection to others, that he can provide for himself and will never need or depend on anyone ever in his life again which is contradicted again and again in the show. He can’t stop needing people to like him, affirm him or to depend on them. That is the ultimate paradox with npd, narcissism in itself locks someone into a state of both being completely independent and not needing or caring for others while completely needing and depending on their praise so you can keep your self esteem intact

i think why I’m kinda quite against this reading of Edward as someone who intensely enjoys hurting others in his nature and is completely logical and almost unemotional in his action is because it kinda just falls into his lie he folds himself and others, it’s believing in the narcissist fantasy he has convinced himself and others around him to be true, he will never be that, no matter how hard he tries he will never be smart enough and unemotional enough for himself, he will chase proving that fantasy until he dies if he keeps doing this, taking anyone who comes in his way down with him

you can read Gotham Ed however you want idc I’m not ur mom and I’m not mad I just really wanted to explain myself since last time I tried to it was horrid and nonsensical I should’ve been executed on the spot. You can read Edward however you like I’m not thought police I just really needed to say my peace here

#gotham #edward nygma #rambles #character study #gotham fox #gotham 2014 #do not take this post as a actually Kristen was the one who did something wrong I literally make her cheat on this fucker in my rewrite #I just don’t like people making Edward clearly evil here it’s quite clear in the show he’s kinda intended to have psychosis in a way #hes not mentally stable and logical with his actions is what I’m saying here DO NOT BELIEVE HIS LIES!!!! #this post is also a sneak geek out about npd since I find it really really interesting it’s a personal hell someone puts themselves in #and they often aren’t even aware they suffer and burn in it #I have a lot of appreciation for self aware narcissists who are trying to get better it’s a hard disorder to live with #NURSE HES OUT AGAIN

[courfeyracs-swordcane]

You are a seventeen year old lesbian. You ran away from home and are lying about every aspect of yourself in order to work your way up the ranks of the war crime factory, and it’s working— you got promoted to work directly under the citystate governor as personal security for him and his family. And now you have a crush on his wife. (would that be fucked up or what?)

#just me #look I drew a thing #an ballad brothers #Ari ballad brothers #Ari’s mom ballad brothers #<— she has a name idk why I’m tagging her like that #anyway. top ten funniest situations to put that guy in. #this is like fifteen years before the main story lmao it’s funny to see An so. uh. well #top ten guys who Knows Exactly What They’re About by the time the story rolls around #they’re Cool and it’s on purpose #here? not so much #also I DID do the math wrong Ari should be like five or six by the time an got promoted but I drew this in half an hour at 3am yesterday #Ari’s dad. was also supposed to be there. but I forgor what he looked like and it’s too late now #also an. bestie. bud. she is NOT worth it she’s so nothing lady #she’s an Instagram influencer and she’s raising that child in the BEIGEST of houses #and she’s literally gonna die of pneumonia in like 1-3 years #top ten ladies who does not really think employees count as people #idk if she’s straight or aroace or what but she’s definitely not into genderweird dykes #(not that an is especially aware of that part yet.) #(also they’re aroace aswell but they’re dyke in the gender with a big heaping side of No Actual Gender At All) #Yk how it is with spaghetti

[designernishiki]

these two……. so charming. so pretty. so unaware of what the fuck is going on at all times

#dumb little doodle cause I felt like posting something #I’ve got a bunch of dumb drawings that aren’t finished yet but yeah I just. wanted to post. Something #so heres my autistic favs yuki n kiryu <3 #no filter brutally honest but well intentioned autistic + can’t read between the lines or pick up on vibes to save his fucking life autistic #yuki #kiryu #kiryu kazuma #kazuma kiryu #yakuza #yakuza 0 #I don’t think yuki has a canon last name from what I’m aware?? which is a damn shame considering she’s a recurring character and #also the Best Girl #im gonna give her one just you wait #call me out if im wrong tho and she actually Does have a last name #rambling #my art

[akkivee]

so my birthday is in a few days!!!!! 🙂 i actually wouldn’t even bother mentioning it lol but this year, instead of celebrating it over the weekend beforehand, as i usually do when it falls on a weekday, i decided to push it to next week in solidarity with the strike for palestine. i’m privileged enough to make that call, the 20000+ palestinians who have lost their lives since october 7 cannot. and if i’m doing that, i might as well share info as well lol

yesterday, the icj ruled in favour of south africa and declared israel’s actions are ‘plausibly’ genocidal acts against palestine. and that’s great!!!!!! only time will tell how israel will meet the demands the icj has placed on them, but an immediate ceasefire has not been issued for gaza, therefore we should still stay vigilant

donate eSIMs if you can, keep in line with the bds movement’s choice protests and keep the pressure up on your governments if they’re helping fund israel. this twitter thread has a few more options for supporting palestine so you can pick and choose what you can do. keep up the fight!!!!! from river to sea, palestine will be free!!!!! ✊🇵🇸

#this is vee speaking #the us has been on the wrong side of history more times than they want to admit and eventually they will find out #it was a situation of my own making but i’ve been in a situation where bombs and gunfire rang in the near distance #it was more or less controlled but it’s such a paralysing feeling hearing those echoes and feeling the tremors as you walk #palestine has lived with that fear for decades bc of white people #anyway that’s my two measly cents lol i never talk politics here bc i feel it’d be more performative than actions i’m already doing #but part of the protest is to spread awareness lol tho i doubt i’m spreading any here ✊

[skillzissuez]

Depression is all fun and games until your skipping school even though you’re weeks behind because you quite literally can’t get out of bed

#god I hate it here #not to mention you mother and father #SEEING this #simply decides to ignore you like your Alr dead #like damn okay 💀💀 fuck you too ig 💀💀 #I don’t know how to fix this #I’m literally gonna be held back or taken to court bc I’ve missed so many days #but oh well the sillies r keeping me alive #Also I told myself I wouldn’t vent online anymore but I honestly don’t care anymore 😭 #it’s so bad though #I tried to do some of my homework last night and ended up throwing up from the stress #and it’s not like my friends just forgot about me they are GOOD friends I’ve just been pushing them away; telling them I’m just sick etc. #it’s my fault so I’m not mad at them for not knowing what to do. The closest ones try to call me #sometimes I answer and we talk. sometimes I don’t and they leave me a message abt how their a good listener and they KNOW something’s wrong. #Truly I love my friends but at this point I just need to be medicated or in a mental institution ong #but again; it’s not like my parents actually care. they canceled my therapy that was court appointed to me #My support system otherwise is gone; my older siblings have moved out and I’m supposed to protect my younger ones from my parents #but deadass my entire family is well aware that I’m useless in that department #I shake scream and sob everytime my parents yell at us so I’m no help; really #I mean recently I’ve been able to keep my emotions under control but the only reason why is because I’m dead inside 💪 #As I’m typing this out I’m realizing that I should be telling the world this especially not in my mental state but like. I dunno 🤷‍♂️ #I know most of you don’t care or if you do your just concerned or feel bad bc you know what it’s like and I thank you. #seriously; I thank you for being human and reminding me the world can be kind #if anything im just distracting myself from whatever this is. whether it be playing a silly game or drawing about said silly game it helps #but it also makes me feel guilty bc I RLLY should be focused on trying to pass this year. but I’m pretty sure it’s too late now. #anyways; that’s why I’ve been inactive lately so I apologize #it’s funny bc I’m typing this out but I rlly don’t feel anything while explaining this to you guys #I’ll tag this properly; I don’t know why I’m posting this and I might delete it later I dunno #tw vent #tw mention of abuse

[teethgnashing]

i need to stop talking abt body image issues with people who don’t have a double chin

#it always just fills me with anger and jealousy and then with guilt and even more self hatred #about to say some truly selfish hateful shit i am aware is wrong and cruel which is why i’m saying it here —> #like oh my godddd im soooo sorry your family told you you needed to be a bit skinnier #you are extremely conventionally attractive and skinny with pretty hair and good clothes #people like you at a glance. people give you the fucking time of day #you have dated multiple people. multiple people have wanted to DATE you #i’m always the fucking outsider in these conversations because they’re always so… personal? #in that like. “oh i know im okay looking but my brain won’t let me think it” #like damn that sucks. i’m actually ugly and nobody will let me fucking forget it #but do tell me more about your pretty partner you love who fell in love with you instantly #i’ll be over here walking behind you realizing i’m twice your width #and wondering if there’s a way to put out a lifetime’s worth of artwork and creation so that i can get this stupid hopeless life over with #i will die unloved. i don’t even fucking care anymore #i just want to make some decent art people might like and be done with it all #chatter #sorry i need to get this off my chest Now so i can push my mood back up and not be snapping at people. im so good im so fine #i hate myself but thats a me issue. time to go have fun

[brittlebutch]

still inexorably stuck on Eddie M. and Faith No More’s song Epic is giving me some kind of fucking complex rn

#N posts stuff #unique situation of over-empathizing with a fictional character specifically for being a fictional character #ie; burnout fuck-ups who die tragically young bc the writer can’t really figure out what to do with them #of the ‘nah this guy is too much of a screw up outcast to go anywhere but the grave’ variety #(the user is trying very hard to avoid falling into this. uh. trope but in real life) #or maybe thought pattern is another word. idk. anyway #but also getting very caught on like. the tragedy Inside of his character’s death where like he isn’t even really #given the freedom to Acknowledge the enraging injustice of what’s happened to him bc he is Aware of the fact that he is like. #bleeding out in the arms of a 14 year old boy and he has to do everything he can to diminish the tragedy of this other kid #and so he has to joke around and smile and try to make it Better instead of being allowed to seethe at what’s happened to him #‘i think 86 is gonna be my year’ and the fact that his Last Words are ‘i love you man’ i’m just. #idk man somethings wrong with me lmao but i’m just. really stuck here for some reason

[the-physicality]

pwhl teams as chappell roan songs I would dedicate to them:

Montreal: red wine supernova

Boston: super graphic ultra modern girl

Minnesota: femininomenon

New York: after midnight

Ottawa: hot to go

toronto: my kink is karma

#I want to be very clear this is me saying to Toronto I like to see you lose #not Toronto likes to see other ppl lose #also pls don’t read too much into this I learned what a parasocial relationship was in school not on twitter so I’m keenly aware #this is not that #that’s not what I’m saying it’s bc Montreal has maroon jerseys #and sonically it fits #I know that she has a song called naked in manhattan but I thought this one fit ny better #also I’m sorry Boston you didn’t give me much to go off of #I feel like I might be giving the wrong impression of my age here: I do not identify as gen z #but I do like to stay up to date on the culture #honestly again I don’t feel like tagging this #this is about hockey

[byakuyasdarling]

I hate liking my F/O’s canon source but hating that unavoidable part of the fandom

like I’m happily scrolling through my dash and checking a mutual’s blog for updated posts and liking some stuff and in the “blogs like this one” one of the posts is an artwork of the one ship I cannot stand (I’m mostly fine with other pairings with him and even like some (probs because I kin those girls lol)) BUT I COULDN’T EVEN RECOGNISE IT AT FIRST I WAS LIKE “that kind of looks like … oh. Shit taste I see.” LIKE IM SORRY BUT THE LIMITED SHIP ART IVE SEEN OF THAT SHITHOLE OF A SHIP ISNT GREAT??? Maybe it’s because they’re fucking 14?? Don’t know why else you would ship it unless you’re young and haven’t developed critical thinking and basic common sense of what’s healthy LMAO 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

#sorry for literally flaming people I didn’t mean to be *That* bitchy but it obviously frustrates me. #and obviously I’m projecting my insecurities and abandonment trauma too here. I’m self-aware. but I’m also fine with other ships with him - #- it’s just that one that’s triggering because it’s literally just gross as fuck I’m sorry (not). #BUT THAT ONE TOXIC ONE THAT LITERALLY CANT BE CANON BECAUSE THE OTHER CHARCATER IS CANONCISLLY IN ANOTHER HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP #LIKE WHY. WHY. ANYTHING ELSE BRO COME ON #and to add: there’s nothing wrong with being 14 and making ‘mediocre’ art. I didn’t even consider myself a good artist until last year at 17 #but I have noticed the demographic and skill level of the artists of that ship are younger — and hence have limited skill. #Just like everyone else at that time — just keep going and be passionate AND DONT DRAW TOXIC SHIT PLEASE??? Unless it’s your OCs I guess or- #- of a canon narrative?? but literally no need to draw something toxic and pretend it’s ‘UWU cute’ and normal #tw swearing #tw: generally bitchiness LMAO

[flusteredbard]

SHOP RE-OPENING!!

I have some very exiting news… after a long hiatus I will be re-opening my Etsy store! I am so thrilled to bring back my stickers with much higher quality materials AND I will be working with a manufacturer for the first time to make charms, standees and even pencil cases! It will be opening in just a few weeks and your support would mean the world to me! I’m a small queer independent artist not doing this for any profit but simply because I love the fandoms and communities I create for. This is my first venture into outsourcing and I’m very nervous to open up after over a year of being away. You can support me by sharing my art on here or even favoriting my shop before the update. The fandoms that are currently going to be available upon re-opening are:

Control (stickers, lanyard keychains)

Mischief (stickers, keychains, standees)

Taskmaster (lanyard keychain)

Hlvrai (stickers)

Root (stickers)

Wolf 359 (stickers)

And more to come! Thank you all for sticking with me and be on the look out for the designs that are coming! 

Link to my shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/Flusteredcreative?ref=profile_header

#I’m super nervous about this #but here goes nothing #it’s still going to be a bit because of manufacturing time #but it’s officially happening #control #control game #CONTROL FANART #control 2019 #control remedy #hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #Wolf 359 #wolf 359 radio #wolf 359 fanart #root #root boardgame #mischeif #the play that goes wrong #mind mangler #tptgw #Mind mangler member of the tragic circle #cornley #cornley polytechnic drama society #cornley drama society

[raskies456]

I’m seeing a lot of new users with the entwined Venus symbol (⚢) in their bios but who otherwise don’t seem to be cryptos, and im wondering if there’s a cross site miscommunication going on because at least on tumblr that symbol tends to be pretty exclusively used as a r4dfem dogwhistle. I have no idea if it has the same meaning on Twitter, but if you use it be aware that a lot of people are gonna assume you’re a t3rf.

You might want to consider using wlw or a pride flag instead if that’s not the impression you want to give off.

#ask to tag #v annoying to try to trigger tag stuff w/o attracting the wrong attention #but w/e #anyway it was until recently a block on sight symbol for me and it still makes me incredibly suspicious #I’ve not seen it used by non r/fems on here (until recently perhaps) #psa #mine #also I’m not saying you shouldn’t use it as a general symbol if you want #just that many people don’t view it that way and you should be aware of that #lest you find you’re being blocked by a lot of people or have a bunch of r4d followers #also if you’re a Twitter user please lmk if this symbol has that association on Twitter for you

[creelby]

hot take:

don’t ship real people UNLESS the people are aware they are shipped and okay with it.

#🦇💬 #this may be controversial these are just my thoughts #for example greg and alex know the fans ship them; they know there’s fan art and fanfic. they’ve joked about it before; theyre okay with it #whereas like. idk milex. as far as i’m aware (correct me if i’m wrong) miles and alex have never mentioned whether or not they’re okay with #(continued) people shipping them #idk if i’m making sense here this is just what i think.

[sportsallover]

All this talk about twitter (derogatory) is making me once again so happy I chose tumblr as my social media. Not only are people here more levelheaded (or at the very least benevolent), but also whatever I post about athletes on this blog, they should never see it. I’m just taking thoughts out of my head. They should never have to suffer through my "analyses".

#like if I ever end up posting something that the athlete could see as hate #even if I don’t mean it that way #I don’t want them to see it #because I don’t actually know them #so whatever I express on here is constructed from a partial knowledge of the situation #and I’m very aware I could be completely wrong because of elements they didn’t disclose #cycling #road cycling #Vuelta a España #VaE23 #like the Jumbo Visma situation right now? #I have my thoughts #I have my opinions #but I do not take them for the truth

[sassy-hedgie]

in my “tired of masking and wishing i could not have to constantly be on edge at all times but not wanting everyone to hate me” era ✌️

#me tag #tbd #just!! thinking y’know how it is #it’s just hard to be constantly treated like any shred of my neurodivergencies are just an annoyance or inconvenience when i ask for #even just the smallest bit of grace or when I need something shifted for my comfort #like sorry!! you’re right i have a hard time with volume control and be assured i am aware and trying to control it 24/7 #and i get really triggered by different noises!!! and i try so hard to just be chill with it and tolerate it while my brain frazzles #and like yeah i will repeat stories and will overtalk quite often when i’m anxious!!! #like it’s not that i don’t think you also know it’s just my brain needs to make SURE you know and understand #so I’m not misunderstood #because I’m terrified of being misconstrued and my social skills are so bad I’m in a constant state of awareness and panic about it #anyway!! putting this here bc it’s safer that twt where more people will see lmao #just thinking Too Hard and noticing problems with myself you know how it is #just far too drained from even the smallest social interaction lately bc I’m so afraid I’m Doing It Wrong somehow at all times

[tempestclerics]

.

#just put together why some of the particular interactions I’ve been having lately have been rubbing me the wrong way so much #I feel as if. I am being confided in a lot. which I appreciate - it means that people trust me and that I’m helpful to them - but also mean #I have very quickly become very aware of a lot of information #including people’s weird grudges and long-standing relationship dynamics and other things that I don’t need to know! to interact with them! #if I don’t like someone I am very bad at not letting that show on my face #and so it’s doubly unsettling to have someone confide in me that they secretly have major clashes with someone else #partly because I see them continue to interact and you could’ve fooled me #which really just underlines that I’m lucky people trust me enough to tell me things because I could not have picked any of this up on my #own which makes me so worried that I’m missing even more interpersonal land mines #but also because. if you tell me this! it is so hard to not let this poison my own relationships with whatever person you have beef with! #because I can’t keep the things I know (because i didn’t ask but you told me anyway) off my face! #I wish i were better at reading people and at keeping what I’m thinking off my face and at not being so bothered by what other people think #about me and each other #I don’t give a fuck whether or not you can smile and laugh and be fake friendly with people you’ve told me you hate. but I wish it didn’t #send me into a spiral about why you seem so fine and good at this while I’m sitting here with the information you gave me making me unable #to genuinely be friends with people I have no personal beef with #why is this so easy for you and so hard for me #five more weeks. #delete later #sola said #also if you're reading this this is not about you i just. aughhh