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awkwardtickleetoo · 11 months

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Cosquillas, Cosquillas

helloooo everyone!!! I was talking to mush the other day about including Spanish in a fic bc the dteam have been really close with the Spanish speaking community/ccs and have started learning the language themselves recently, and I've also been learning the language so I figured it would be a really fun idea to include it in a fic!!

(obviously lol) there is quite a bit of Spanish intermixed with the dialogue and everything, but everything should be pretty self explanatory in context, or at least easy to translate if need be!!

as always thank you @mushiewrites for proofreading/helping inspire this fic <333

lee!dream, ler!george, 5.7k words

this takes places after george's irl stream in madrid

enjoy :)

(also yes, the title means "tickle, tickle")

Dream cleared his throat as he heard the familiar beep of his keycard deactivating the lock, before turning the knob and pushing his way through the door of his hotel room. He was greeted with clean, cool air hitting his face and smelling as fresh, clean, and sharp– it reminded him of a specific comment that George had made once before, one of the first things he ever said when they all first traveled together, which was 'hotel air conditioning always smells exactly like McDonald's Sprite tastes', which made Dream laugh so hard that he needed to sit down on the floor to recover. Every time they'd stayed in a hotel after that, at least one member of the Dream Team would make a reference to that day, it was unavoidable.

The comforting feeling of being back home, even if it was a hotel in a completely foreign country, took over his body quickly, and he sighed in relief, any negative energy or stress he still held from being overwhelmed and overheated outside slowly melting off his shoulders. Don't get him wrong, he loved going out and streaming with George, and he absolutely adored meeting fans, of course he did! He wouldn't trade it for anything else in the entire world, but sometimes when it was too hot and too many people were in one place too suddenly it could get a little much. He was excited to go out and meet more people the next day or later that night, but for now, he was happy to have a few hours worth of downtime in his own hotel room.

He shook his head, letting his fluffy hair ruffle and move as he did so, and he then rolled his neck and shoulders as he let go of the door and let it close behind him.

Or, at least, it would've closed behind him, had it not been for his energetic co-streamer trailing behind him, pushing into the room and closing the door behind him with a click just as Dream walked into the more open area of the room and placed his bag on the desk.

"Dream," The Brit began immediately upon entering, following Dream even when he paused his movements, just to catch up to him. He also took his bag off, placing it gently on the seat of the chair in front of the desk, not wanting to harm any of the expensive streaming equipment in it.

"George," Dream replied in the same urgent tone. He turned around to face George as he set the rest of his things down, watching the smaller man slide off his shoes and push them under the desk before looking back up at him.

"You need to practice your Spanish," George replied, putting his hands on his hips sassily. Dream scoffed, rolling his eyes with an extremely fond smile, before shaking his head a few times.

"George, it's fine, I know enough to get by."

"Yes, you do, but you never use it, that's the problem," George explained, and Dream scoffed again, this time more bashfully. George was actually right, but he was absolutely not going to say that.

"Okay, that– it's fine, George," He said with a smile, leaning back against the corner of the dresser behind him, crossing his ankles as he leaned. George walked over and stood right in front of him again, hands still on his hips like a disappointed mother, and Dream was actually starting to feel the psychological effects from the stance.

"Dream," He said firmly, and Dream looked at him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. He could feel his brain falling into its usual habits, hearing George's warm voice and seeing his soft eyes look at him and feeling him stand so close and wanting to do whatever he says, but he knew he couldn't let his brain give in during such a dumb argument. He twisted his body from side to side, bracing himself against the top of the dresser as he tried to crack his back, letting George continue talking aimlessly. "Dream, there's nothing to be ashamed of. We're in Spain, with tons of friends who speak both English and Spanish, and tons of people publicly, either fans or people at stores or restaurants or whatever who do as well. No one is gonna be upset with you for not speaking fluently. But the only way to get better is to try," George explained, resting his hands on Dream's shoulders when he twisted back to the center, wanting to keep his attention. "You know what you're saying. you know parts of the language, you just don't know how to say them because you never do it! Of course you're gonna sound like an idiot, because you don't know how, that's why it's important to practice." Dream smiled at him, tilting his head to the side curiously.

"Wow. That was actually a pretty good pep talk, Georgie, you should give those more often," Dream complimented, and George blinked at him twice before letting out a scoff as he shook his head, pulling his hands off Dream's shoulders and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Okay, idiot, does that mean you're gonna practice your stupid Spanish now?" Dream sighed and tilted his head back, stretching his arms up above his head to finish his back cracking, arching his back forward and groaning as he did so.

"George, I promise, I will, I'll just do it on my own t-IME–!" Dream explained, ending it with a loud squeal that cut into his final word as he felt something swipe across the skin above the waistband of his shorts that was exposed from his stretching. He snapped his arms down instantly, covering the area with his hands, and curling in on himself by bringing one knee up slightly and then leaning forward. He could feel the heat rising to his cheeks, and he knew it wasn't just his sunburn. He glanced down, seeing George's pointer finger still poised in the same place in front of his tummy, and George smiled at him, biting his lip to tame it slightly. "Do not do that."

"Your tummy was out! I had to!"

"You absolutely didn't."

"I did! What else am I supposed to do when there's such a good opportunity, just not take it?!"

"Shut up," Dream argued, stepping away from the dresser and towards the bed, sitting down on the edge of it and leaning down to untie his sneakers. He barely pulled one loop out before he was suddenly shoved against the bed forcefully, landing on his back and bouncing on the bed as a small 'oof–' sound left his lips from the force of the movement. George jumped onto the bed as well, making the mattress bounce once again, as he sat cross-legged next to Dream's torso. His knee rested against Dream's side, against the material of his hoodie and replacing the material of his jacket that had fallen to the side in the fall, now fanning out by his sides against the comforter, the same way his wavy hair was as he looked up at George with fond eyes. "Hello."

"Hi. We're gonna practice Spanish," George said confidently, smiling down at Dream as he spoke.

"Ugh, Georgie, c'mon," Dream whined, placing his hand gently on George's knee and rubbing his thumb against the small dip on the outside of his knee cap from the way his leg was bent. "Is it really necessary?"

"Sí, yes it is. Muy necesario, Sueño. Necesitos práctica," George spoke, putting one hand up in the air to enunciate his words, and Dream was already intimidated by how much better George was at speaking the language than he was, even if he knew George was only messing around and was, obviously, nowhere close to being an expert. Dream whined again, pinching his eyebrows together and putting on his best puppy dog eyes as he looked at George, pleading with him to let it go. "Oh, stop that, you're just being a baby."

"I'm no– AH–!" Dream was cut off by another squeal as George poked his tummy, right in the center, over the material of his hoodie. He flinched and went to grab at George's hand, but the elder simply brought his other hand into the mix, poking sporadically around his tummy and making it impossible to grab him by moving away as fast as he began. He curled his legs up, kicking them as much as he could as he tried to twist and turn away from the pokes. "George!"

"How do you say… okay, you know basic words, right? Very basic words and phrases?" George asked, pausing his pokes to let Dream answer, pressing his palms flat against Dream's hoodie.

"I-I… I don't know! I mean– I guess so?" Dream answered bashfully and George immediately resumed his poking, making him squirm and giggle again.

"Okay, how do you say, uh… book, then? How do you say 'book' in Spanish– en Español."

"Uh–" Dream said, suddenly giggling when one of George's pokes landed too close to the left side of his tummy. He flinched a bit harder at that, curling his right knee up enough to his George's body, and George did not seem to approve of this. He scoffed, shoving Dream's legs away and resting one hand on the knee that had hit him, leaning all of his body weight on it to make it harder for him to curl that one up. Then, he used his other hand to poke rapidly up and down Dream's side, the same side he was pinning the leg on, and Dream shook his head and giggled helplessly as he could no longer protect that side with his leg and still couldn't manage to get a grip on George's slippery hands. "N–noho! George, plehehease!"

"C'mon, Dream. How do you say 'book' in Spanish?"

"Ihihit's– it's gonna behe bahahahad!" Dream whined, and George patted his knee where he still held it down.

"That's okay! Your pronunciation doesn't have to be good, that's why you're learning. Plus, I'm literally gonna tickle you through all of it, I don't expect you to sound like a proper fluent Spanish speaker," George explained, only somewhat reassuringly, and Dream whined again at the casual information that he was going to be tickled through all of this. There was no point trying to get out of the situation. "Now say it, Dream."

"Ihihihit's– it's lihibrohoho–" Dream muttered before throwing his hands over his face in embarrassment, lost in giggles as George grabbed both his sides and squeezed them a few times as he celebrated. Dream's legs curled up again as he did so, and his back arched slightly.

"YEAH, good job, Dream! You did it!" George exclaimed, smoothing out the fabric of Dream's hoodie over his tummy. Dream's cheeks already hurt from smiling and burned from how red and hot they were due to how hard he was blushing, and he wasn't sure he'd make it out of this alive. "Okay, uh… now say table in Spanish. How do you say that?"

"Oh, George," Dream complained, but the poking started up immediately again, and George was moving faster now, poking several times in every area of his tummy, making his legs kick out and his heels scrape against the bed uselessly– until he remembered George hadn't given him time to take his shoes off, and they were in a hotel with beautiful, white sheets, and he could not be putting his shoes all over them, so he needed to remember to keep them away from the bed in the midst of all this. Sure, that wouldn't make it harder at all. "AH– ahahaha, okahahay! Ihihit's mehesahaha!"

"Good boy, Dream!" George exclaimed again, making Dream shake his head and cover his face again. "What about, uh…" George thought for a moment, his hand pausing it's poking but ending up with his palm at the very bottom of Dream's hoodie, and his thumb slipped under to touch Dream's bare skin and run through the sparse hair of his happy trail. Dream hummed at the motion, resting his hand on top of George's and waiting for him to continue. "Oh! Okay, how do you say kitten?" He asked softly. and Dream giggled and nodded, already prepared to answer.

"Gatito," He replied and George nodded and patted his stomach slightly. "Like you!" He finished with a gasp and wide eyes, reaching up to gently run his fingers through George's hair. George giggled as well, leaning forward as he laughed before pulling back.

"And what about puppy?" George continued, and Dream looked at him skeptically. "Like you, obviously," He finished, reaching forward and running his hand through Dream's hair to repeat his motion, and Dream scoffed and turned his head away.

"You're such an idiot."

"You know it's true."

"It's not true."

"If you're not a puppy, then why would you be letting me rub your belly right now?" George asked smugly, and Dream paused, suddenly realizing that George's thumb had slowly become his entire hand, and there was a palm rubbing circles over the bare skin of his tummy at that exact moment, and it was so gentle and relaxing that Dream hadn't even noticed.

"Wh–"

"See. I rest my case. Now say it."

"I can't even roll my r's, though."

"I don't care. Just try, Dreamie," George encouraged, tapping his pointer finger against Dream's skin, picking it up and tracing his nail in tiny lines, threatening to do more if Dream didn't cooperate. Dream whined, tummy jumping at the scratches, and he threw an arm over his face again.

"Okay, it… it's perrito…" Dream mumbled shyly, hoping George could even hear it. He was lucky the older boy took pity on him.

"Good job! See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" George teased with a single scratch of a claw hand against Dream's bare tummy before he pulled his hand out, making Dream squeak and curl up before falling back and covering his face with both arms now.

"Ah– it was!" Dream complained, and George simply giggled, and suddenly there were two hands digging into his exposed underarms, making him shriek and slam his arms down against his sides. "GEORGE!" He yelled, crossing his arms and rubbing the leftover tingles from the sudden attack out of his own underarms. George laughed at him again, before suddenly placing his hands on Dream's hips to brace himself, and then jumping over to straddle his thighs. "Oh God, George, why?"

"For the next part. Now I'm gonna say some phrases, and you're gonna repeat them. Okay?"

"What kind of phrases?" Dream asked, furrowing his eyebrows and placing his hands on George's knees.

"Whatever phrases I want? Duh," George explained like it was obvious, pulling out his phone and typing something in. Dream tried to lean up to look at what he was doing, propping himself up on his elbows, but George just dug his first two fingers on his free hand into the middle of Dream's ribs instead. He fell back onto the bed with a loud squeal, slamming his arm against his side and rubbing his elbow into the spot where he was so brutally assaulted.

"I was just trying to see–!"

"Shush. I'm trying to find something."

"Are you gonna use Google transla–?"

"Shhh! Callate, Sueño!" George scolded, going back to his previous sporadic poking all over Dream's tummy and making the younger boy fall back into sweet, fluttery giggles and the task of attempting to catch George's hands to no avail. Dream had no idea how George kept moving so god damn quick to avoid his grasp, but he was pissed about it. Normally he could grab George's hands and overpower him with no issues, and now that he couldn't, he felt that much more helpless.

"Geohohohorge! Staha– stahahahap!" Dream whined, throwing his head back against the bed and shaking it wildly, his hair falling around him once again.

"No, you're being uncooperative."

"Yohohou–! Yohou haven't evehen gihihivehen mehe anythihihihing yehehehet!" Dream whined, settling for wrapping his own arms around his torso in hopes of deterring George. His plan worked, but only long enough for George to finish typing whatever it is he needed and set his phone on the bed beside him, by his own leg so Dream couldn't see the screen. After that, he just pulled Dream's arms away and threw them to the sides, attaching his hands to Dream's ribs and digging in all up and down his ribcage. Dream grabbed his wrists this time, but all his strength had been completely zapped out of his body from all the tickling he had already endured, so he couldn't do much except try and fail to pull George's fingers away. "Nohohoho, plehehehease!"

"I want you to repeat after me. Jorge es–" George began, keeping his tickling up as he leaned down slightly to read off his phone. "Jorge es muy genial y sorprendente."

"Wh-whahahahat?!" Dream asked in disbelief, still trying to dislodge George's hands. George decided to cut him a break, knowing it would be genuinely unfair to make Dream try to repeat things he'd never heard of before while he couldn't talk as well, and he moved his hands back down to his sides, pinching up and down them to make him squeal and wiggling his fingers firmly into his hoodie, keeping him giggling and breathless. "Whahahat the hell dohoes thahahat mehehehean?"

"Just say it, don't ask questions. Or I'll go for your tummy again."

"Nohoho!" Dream squealed, covering his tummy with his hands and holding the bottom hem of his hoodie to pull it down more. "Nonono, noho, okahahay… Uh… Cahahan– can yohou sahay it agahahain?"

"Mhm, Jorge es muy genial y sorprendente," George repeated, and Dream nodded, seeming to take it in.

"Um… okahay, uh… Jorge ehehes… muhuy– uh…" Dream began, looking to George in hopes that he'd prompt him with the rest again.

"Muy genial," George helped, and Dream nodded again.

"Muy ge– geheniahahal, y…"

"Sorprendente." George moved down his sides, ending up right above his hip bones and keeping his wiggling fingers there as Dream finished, giggling softly at the way his squirming picked up, his stomach tensed, and his words became more laced with whiny giggles.

"So–sohohor… prehendentehehe?" Dream finished, hoping he got the last word right. George smiled at him, patting his sides lightly again, before continuing his tickles above his hips.

"Sí! Good job, Sueño, muy bien!" George encouraged, and Dream couldn't help but smile at the praise. He had to admit it did feel kind of good to practice, and to know he wasn't doing too horribly at what he was doing, even if his pronunciation was already awful even without the tickling clouding it further.

"Whahat dihid it mehehean, thohough?" Dream asked, and George just shook his head.

"Doesn't matter." George gently, agonizingly slowly, pushed up the bottom of Dream's hoodie a mere few inches, exposing the waistband of his shorts and the small peak of his boxers that showed over the top, as well as the strip of bare skin the action revealed– the line between his hips, right under his belly button, the jutting bones of his hips, and the space right above them. Dream whined immediately when he felt the cool air of the hotel room that he once appreciated touch his bare skin, reaching up to hide his face again as his hips squirmed instinctively against the exposed feeling. George gently placed his hands on Dream's hips, curling his pointer finger and thumb around the bones to pinch the skin and dig his thumbs in, but he didn't move yet. He just waited there, ready to strike, just to freak Dream out. "Now say, uh…" He thought for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut and tilting his head back before suddenly it came to him. "Say 'Jorge es muy guapo'."

"Dohohoesn't– doesn't guahapo mehehean handsohome?" Dream asked, anticipation already getting to him as he giggled uncontrollably still, but pointedly refused to look at George. His head stayed straight back, eyes staring up at the ceiling fan above them like it was the most interesting thing in the world, hands nervously grabbing the blanket below him.

"Sí," George confirmed, nodding even though he knew Dream wasn't looking. "Muy bien, Sueño. Now speak."

"Okahahay, okay, um… Jorgehehe ehes– es muhuy guapohoho–"

"Sí, sí, lo sé!" George replied smugly, making Dream laugh even harder than he already was. "Now say–"

"Thehehere's mohohore?!"

"Yes! Just two more things, okay? Then I'm done. You've been doing really, really well, Dream, I don't know why you were so nervous about this."

"Ihihit's juhust embaharrassihihing for mehehe to– to doho ihit in front of sohomeone ehehelse…"

"Well, that sucks, because now I'm gonna tickle you every time I want to hear you speak Spanish, so… that's gonna suck for you, huh, poor little Sueño?" George teased, sticking out his bottom lip near the end, as he squeezed the spot he was pinching once, digging his thumb into the sweet spot of Dream's that he knew all too well, just to hear him squeal and giggle and watch him squirm.

"Nohoho, no!" Dream whined, and George giggled, pausing his tickling to readjust. He shifted upwards slightly, now straddling Dream's upper thighs near his hips, his knees ending up boxing them in to make it harder for him to squirm away. Ironically, this made Dream squirm immediately, the anticipation still building up as he waited for whatever the next attack would be.

George then picked up his phone and went to type something into Google translate again, but it only took him a few seconds this time, so Dream assumed it was only one word that he didn't know this time. He looked at the phone in confusion, and Dream giggled at his expression, making George turn to him and give him a dirty look.

"What's so funny up there, giggles?"

"No-nothing! You just looked confused at whatever you're typing and it's a little funny!"

"I think I have to listen to the pronunciation for it, so stay quiet, you," George said as he brought the phone up to his ear, and Dream would've been fine with that, until George decided that was a really great time to use his free hand to dig his thumb back into the spot above his hip. He burst out into laughter immediately, trying to twist to stop him, using both hands to try and cover the spot or pull George away, but George's hand only latched on further. "I just told you to be quiet!"

"I cahahahan't! I cahan't hehehelp ihihit!" Dream tried to explain, but George just cut him off by squeezing more, still holding the phone up to his ear. He suddenly switched from squeezing to scratching the spot below his belly button, pushing his hoodie up further just to fluster him more, and Dream laughed even louder. "Nahaha, plehehehease! Nohohohot thahahahat, George, plehehease–"

"Shut up!" George giggled, throwing his tickling hand up to slap it over Dream's mouth to keep him quiet, holding his head down against the mattress. Dream continued giggling even against George's hand, although he was muffled now, as he squeezed his eyes shut and held onto George's wrist softly with one hand.

George finished listening to what he needed to listen to before turning his phone off and tossing it back onto the bed, using his newly free hand to scratch at Dream's tummy again, scratching up and down the sides of his tummy and all around his belly button, catching the edges every so often. Dream's eyes shot open again, looking over at George pleadingly, as he broke into desperate, high pitched, muffled laughter behind George's hand.

"Mm!" Dream whined in an attempt to get George's attention, which actually worked, and George smiled at him softly.

"You ready to keep talking?"

"Mhm!"

"Okay, perfect. Perfecto!" George said as he pulled both his hands away, resting them gently on Dream's sides as he let the other boy catch his breath and settle himself. "I want you to say, 'sueño es muy, muy, cosquilloso'."

"Whahahat– what does that even mehean?"

"Don't worry about it. Just say it."

"I dohohon't wanna, I'm nervohohous…"

"You don't wanna?"

"Mm-mm…"

"Okay!" George said simply, before leaning down and blowing the biggest raspberry he could manage right on Dream's tummy, barely an inch to the left of his belly button. Dream screamed, burying into loud laughter, shaking his head desperately and frantically as his hands made their way to the back of George's head. "Wanna say it now?"

"YEHEHES, yehehehehes!"

"Are you sure? Because I can always just–" George blew another raspberry, on the opposite side of his belly button this time, and Dream curled up as much as he could, falling to the side as he did so.

"OKAHAHAY, OKAY, I'll sahahahahay ihihihihit! Juhuhust– plehehehehease dohohon't dohoho– NOHO DOHOHON'T DOHOHO IHIT AGAIAHAHAHAIN!" Dream flipped as George took in a breath and leaned down again, faking him out and bursting out laughing as he heard Dream's reaction. He placed a gentle kiss above his belly button, the spot he would've given the raspberry, before pulling back up, making Dream's hands fall from.the back of his head down to cover his tummy protectively. "Stohop laughing, it's not fuhunny!"

"Oh my god, Dream, that was so precious."

"Whatever, shut up! Just– just say the– say the thing again, please, Georgie," Dream asked, and George could tell he was getting embarrassed and nervous again, so he took some pity on him again.

"Sueño es muy, muy cosquilloso," George repeated, smiling down at Dream. He placed one hand over Dream's on his stomach, gently sliding them up to his sternum and leaving his hand there for comfort. His other palm touched down on Dream's tummy, rubbing gently to help soothe him, like he had earlier.

"Okahay– um… S-Sueño es– Jesus christ, I hate this– sueño es muy… muy co– cos-qui-lloso?" Dream repeated, stumbling over the new word, sounding it out as he spoke and phrasing it as a question in case it was wrong. George smiled, patting his stomach and squeezing his hands softly.

"That's perfect, Dream, very good!"

"Can you tell me what it means now?"

"Nope. One more thing."

"Oh god, George, please be nice, please, haven't I suffered enough?" Dream begged pathetically, practically melting into the blanket below him as he spoke.

"It's okay! You'll like this one, you know how to do it already," George smiled, his own cheeks turning slightly pink as he pulled Dream's hands apart, holding his pointer fingers in each of his hands and swinging them gently in the air. "Say you love me in Spanish."

Dream absolutely lit up at this request, and George found it impossible to keep the ecstatic, bashful smile off his face as well, the one he always got when he was around Dream.

"Te amo!" Dream exclaimed, zero hesitation in his words, and if he stumbled over them unintentionally. "Te amo, Georgie, te- te quiero mucho!"

"Okay, shut up now, that's all I had for you to do," George said, obviously flustered at how quickly Dream jumped to complete that phrase. He went to slide off Dream's legs, but Dream's hands landed on his thighs, making him pause his movements.

"No! You asked me to say it, you can't be all embarrassed about it now!"

"Shut up, Dream!"

"But I do love you!"

"Alright, that's it," George suddenly leaned down and blew another onslaught of raspberries onto Dream's tummy, over the sides of his tummy as well as above and below his belly button again. He held Dream's sides as he did so, keeping his torso in place, and Dream immediately screamed out in laughter.

"NOHOHO, GEOHORGE!" Dream whined, curling up as much as he could, throwing one arm over George's shoulders and using his other hand to hold onto the back of his head. George slipped his hands down, ending up at his hip bones once again. He curled his fingers back around his squirming hips, holding him even more firmly in place and making him giggle nervously between the raspberries. "No, no, nohoho, no– NAHAHAHA!" Dream babbled uselessly, cut off by loud, boisterous laughter as both the raspberries and the thumbs pinching at the spots above his hips came back at the same time, making him arch his back up as much as he could, shake his head desperately, frantically, and smack the sheets below him before going back to holding George's head.

"Are you ready to be finished now?"

"YEHEHEHES, YES, PLEHASE, YES, PLEHEHEHEASE," Dream begged, sucking in another breath before falling into useless laughter again.

"Say it in Spanish then, idiot," George instructed, just to be cruel, as he switched his movements up for the final tactic. He blew a raspberry right under Dream's belly button, and dug his thumbs on the spot next to his hip bones instead of above them, right inside where they dipped back down above the waistband of his boxers. Dream yelped before dissolving into helpless laughter, going high pitched and somewhat silent before he could take in another breath. He melted further into the mattress, all strength lost at that point, and his eyes stayed squeezed shut as his head shook sluggishly against the comforter. "Well? Should I stop?"

"SI, SI, SIHIHIHI, PLEHEHE– FUHUHUCK, POHOR FAVOHOR, POR FAVOHOHOR, GEOHORGE, PLEHEHEASE–!" Dream firmly begged, a mix of English and Spanish coming out in his desperation, and George laughed and pressed his forehead against Dream's tummy before leaning back up entirely. He rubbed Dream's skin again with his palm, soothing away the ghost tickles as Dream caught his breath.

"You okay?" George asked after a few minutes of relaxation, and Dream slowly blinked his eyes open and looked up at him.

"Mhm. Yeah. I'm good," Dream replied, voice soft and fond, and George could tell he was happy. He still felt the need to apologize, though.

"I know that was kind of mean, I hope I didn't push you or anything. I just want you to feel comfortable… Lo siento."

"Mm-mm," Dream replied, shaking his head. "It's okay. Está bien."

"Está bien?"

"Mhm, yeah. It was… pretty fun, honestly. And it was nice to practice. You were right, I really do need to practice more," Dream conceded as he arched his back to stretch again, then propped himself up on his elbows and rolled his head to either side, then pushed himself up into a normal sitting position, looking up at George with lovestruck eyes where he was still perched on his lap. George slid down Dream's thighs slightly to give him more space, making sure they were both comfortable, before returning the loving eye contact. "Can you tell me what you made me say now, though?"

"Oh! Yes, of course. I made you say 'George is very cool and amazing', then 'George is very handsome', and then 'Dream is very, very ticklish', all of which are very true!" George bragged, laughing cruelly as the way Dream's eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

"Oh, god, no, Georgiiiiiie…" Dream whined, wrapping his arms around George's waist and burying his face against his chest, pulling him in close. George laughed again, his back arching slightly from the force of Dream's hug, before he hugged back, arms around Dream's shoulders and chin on his head.

"It's okay! You don't have to say anything anymore, and we both know that's all true because you openly said it! That's pretty cool, don't you think, Sueño?" Dream giggled a bit in response, before suddenly getting an idea. He tightened his grip on George and spun as quickly as he could, flipping them over, and finishing with George laying flat on the bed, his legs pinned on either side of Dream's as he loomed above him. "Wh– DREAM?!" George yelled in confusion, trying to squirm away, but the way he was pinned kept him from being able to get any leverage to properly move.

"Yeah, Georgie, that is pretty funny, but y'know something funnier?" Dream spoke softly, and with the way he was looking over George, it felt like he was pressed right up against his ear, even though he wasn't.

"N-no…" George replied nervously, raising his hands up to press against Dream's chest, either to try to push him off or make sure he didn't lean down any further.

"What's funnier is that I want you to say the same thing now. I want you to say that you're ticklish, I want you to say 'Jorge es muy, MUY co– co- uh… coquills… um…" Dream started off sounding intimidating, but it fell flat when he couldn't remember how to pronounce the word for 'ticklish' in Spanish. George chuckled at him, biting his lip and staring up at him as Dream looked back, putting on his best puppy eyes. "Help?"

"Cosquilloso, Dreamie," George supplied for him, smiling up at him.

"Yeah, cos-cosquilloso. 'Jorge es muy, muy cosquilloso', that's what I want you to say. To be even."

"To be even?"

"Mhm! Because– um, because…" Dream looked around, grabbing George's phone and going to Google translate himself. He typed something in, giggling to himself softly as he made eye contact with George again, leaning down to his ear before speaking in a low voice, words slow so he could put effort into pronouncing everything correctly. "Yo quiero hacerte cosquillas."

"What does that mean, then?"

"I want to tickle you."

Dream didn't give him much time to process his words before digging his fingers into George's ribs, filling the hotel room with a new wave of boisterous laughter, and a new batch of broken attempts at speaking Spanish. George was significantly better at the language than Dream was, and even through his laughter his pronunciation was shockingly good for an amateur, however it took him a lot more breaking down and convincing for him to repeat that sentence due to him actually knowing what it meant.

But, when Dream had one hand holding up the back of George's thigh, his mouth latched onto it to blow equally as evil raspberries onto the inside of it as George had given to his tummy, and he reached the other hand forward to curl around George's ribs and dig into the especially sensitive spot on the back of them… he gave in pretty quickly. After that, a pretty quick rattling off of 'OKAHAHAY, OKAHAY, OKAY, SOHOHOY MUY, MUHUY COHOHOSQUILLOSOHOHO, PLEHEHEASE, STOHOHOP' got him some mercy, and the two were, in Dream's eyes, pretty even after that.

At least, until the next time they needed to practice their Spanish speaking.

#lee!dream #ler!george #fav #bc i really really like this one #cals writing

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arecaceae175 · 10 months

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Pick a story you’ve written and tell us what you love about it!

Your writing style is absolutely wonderful!

EEEEEE thank you so much!!!! That's such a sweet question I LOVE talking about my stories!!!!!!

One of my favorite fics I've ever written is Sentiment. Besides Authenticity, I think it's my favorite. (TW: this fic involves Time and Wars arguing, and Time physically pushes Wars once to make a point. They resolve it by the end)

Quick rundown in case you haven't read it (but you should go read it bc I think it's very very good): Time and Wars are arguing and then they make everyone else leave the room, and then Time lets his "In Charge" mask fall and lets big brother Wars comfort him.

I love everything about this fic. I shoved SO many of my favorite tropes into it lol. First, Wars being all self-sacrificing and Time being best Dad trying to protect Wars, but neither of them have a healthy relationship with their emotions so they're being a bit mean. Here's some of the notes I have for everything going on in the fight scene that they don't explicitly say:

Time’s distaste of authority

Wars defending his authority

Wars defending his autonomy

Time not being able to handle big emotions because he still feels like a kid trapped in an adult’s body sometimes

Wars not having enough self worth to rest

When Time says “we” about setting the example Wars realizes he doesn’t want Time to feel like that either, and especially not the younger heroes

Time being so so so so afraid that Warriors got hurt but not knowing how to deal with it in a healthy way

That’s his big brother and he already lost him once. He will not allow it to happen again

Wars felt like he failed and he HAS to redeem himself bc he has a reputation to uphold

What was the point of the War of Ages if he isn’t perfect? If he can’t protect people now???

And then I LOVE the moment when Sky steps in and stops the fight. The image of Sky standing with his hand on Time's chest, in between Wars and Time glaring at each other, IS SO STUCK IN MY BRAAAAAAIN. (((((If anyone ever wants to make me really really happy, draw that scene. I would combust and never recover (/light hearted, positive) ))))). It's such a good moment.

And then as soon as the other Links are out of the room, Time drops his mask. He has no fucking clue how to be in charge of 8 other heroes, and Wars is the only person he feels like he can truly drop the mask with. Because that's his Big Brother from the War of Ages. And Time is terrified to lose his big brother again.

Big brother Wars and little brother Time is honestly my favorite dynamic in LU. IT'S JUST SO GOOD!!! THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!!!!! Time, Wars, and Sky are in the top tier of my 3 tier list of favorite LU Links.

And of course I threw in "Sprite" bc that's an adorable nickname for Time.

So yeah. I'm very proud of that fic and I reread it a lot XD.

Thank you SO MUCH for this ask!!!!! I'm honored you think my writing is so good. I'm happy stimming so much!!!! EEEEEHHEHEHEHHEHEHE

#ace writes #sentiment #linked universe #lu time #lu warriors #<3<3<3<3<3<3 #this is the best ask I love it so much #thank you so much anon

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acourtofthought · 11 months

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listen I love Feyre to my very core, she's my favorite FMC since I read these books and in this entire series but god she's such busybody sometimes and tries to be an expert matchmaker like Rhys but honey... no!

like that time she suggested about Az and Elain in acowar and Rhys was like "Feyre, I love you but shut up this is not in your league" thats what I gathered from Rhys reply lmao

GIRL YOU LITERALLY KNOW THESE PPL FOR A FEW MONTHS HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY NEED AND WHAT IS GOING ON INSIDE THEIR HEAD? I'm quite certain she just wanted it to keep it in the family at that point bc did she forgot Azriel is "in love" with Mor before she suggested that? and Rhys had to aggressively shut that idea down lol. tbh I love that Rhys stopped her right then and there bc obv he knows him better than Feyre. they've known each other for +500 so ofc he can guess Az feeling on the matter and Az himself confirmed it in the bonus chapter (that Rhys also suspected) Az only wants Elain for release and nothing else.

and now her comment on them lead to her being the biggest e/riel shipper and e/riels LOVE to brag about it and its quite funny bc I think it was only that one time!!! we see Feyre encouraging Elain to talk to Lucien and even in her bonus chapter in acosf she wanted to suggest Elain to use Lucien's gloves that he gifted her but she didn't (which i hope she'd learned to not be a busybody after what happened with Lucien in acofas and Mor lecturing her to let them figure it out themselves)

After getting this message I didn't respond right away. I wanted to think back over the series because you are 100% correct but your correctness is even more far reaching.

In ACOMAF we have the following:

Feyre thinking that the reason Lucien had issues with Ianthe because she and her family fled during Amarantha's reign.

The actual reason Lucien had issues with Ianthe is because she sexually harassed him.

In ACOMAF, we have Feyre think Ianthe is her friend.

Later we find out that Ianthe was only ever self serving.

In ACOMAF Feyre kept wondering if a mating bond with Tamlin would snap into place.

The reason that didn't happen was because Rhys was her mate yet she was clueless about that until the Suriel told her.

In ACOMAF we have Feyre think about how Nesta and Amren would be fast friends.

In ACOWAR, Nesta and Amren were fast friends but not LASTING friends. Their friendship fell apart in ACOFAS and it never really recovered. I think they're in a better place after SF but they'll most likely never be as close as Nesta is with Gwyn and Emerie.

In ACOMAF, Feyre mentions how she sometimes notices Mor watching Az. She also asks Mor what she feels for Az which Mor deflects only for Feyre to then think, "but almost in answer, Mor declared, "Paint Azriel's. Next to mine".

Only that all fell apart in ACOWAR when Mor's preference came to light, something Feyre never suspected.

In ACOMAF, Feyre thinks how Az and Cassian could wipe Lucien off the planet.

But in ACOSF, we see Lucien command Cassian with a single word.

In ACOMAF, Feyre does say Elain would cling to Az to have some peace and quiet and how handsome they would be.

And in ACOWAR, we do see Elain and Az sharing moments of peace and quiet however, that seems to rapidly be falling apart in SF. Feyre once wanted peace and quiet too and at first she was happy with Tamlin until the peace and quiet no longer suited her. Similarly, we see Elain want to finally break free of her peace and quiet and Az is the person (after Nesta) who wants to keep her in her box of safety. He even spoke out against her AFTER Elain told Nesta off so it's doubly as problematic. Also, Feyre thinking of Elain and Az being together because of their physical appearance is the most superficial thing. It speaks nothing of their personalities or what they want from a partner, what their values are. Not to mention it reduces Elain to a "doll to dress up" or whose only worth is her beauty, just as their mother always did.

In ACOWAR, Feyre worries whether they can trust Lucien. Whether he would try to grab Elain, to sell them out.

Her fears are proven unfounded when she slips into Lucien's mind and realized he only has concern for Elain. Also Lucien regularly helps out the NC, sharing information with them, the opposite of selling them out.

In ACOWAR, Feyre questions why Lucien and Elain are mates without putting any consideration into who they are and what they want in a partner. She asks RHYS if HER SISTER is a match to Lucien 🤦. Her entire argument is based on the fact that Rhys and Tamlin's parents weren't a match for one another so maybe Elain and Lucien's is poor match too. Even though the reason Rhys tells us for WHY his parents weren't a match would not apply to Lucien and Elain and WOULD actually apply to Az and Elain.

Feyre is young and she doesn't always the see others clearly but that's ok because she's learning as she goes. She's asking these questions because this entire world is new to her and the why and the how's of it are something she's trying to figure out.

But anyone taking her thoughts as gospel as she's stumbling through it all is looking to the wrong person for predictions.

Feyre (in the original trilogy), Nesta (for the first 3/4 of her book) and Az (even now), for as great as they are, were /are not the characters to look too for clearheaded opinions because they are too close to certain situations, too emotional and too wrapped up in their own confusion about everything to be valid resources. Feyre and Nesta especially were all over the place. For example one minute Nesta was going on and on about how Elain is good and special and that's why Nesta protected her at all costs, and the next Nesta is furious with Elain, claiming she was "undoubtedly wholly convinced of her own innocence, her innate goodness" and mad at Cassian for defending Elain.

So again, I think much of what those three say / think in regards to Elain, Lucien, and Az needs to be taken with a grain of salt

Cassian was the one who predicted Nessmerie and guess what? They ended up being as close as sisters.

Rhys was the one who said that he might need to pull some threads in regards to Nessian and guess what? They were mated in the very next book.

Mor predicted that Lucien was trustworthy enough to enter Velaris and guess what? He didn't steal Elain away and he never sold out Velaris to anyone and helped provide information to the NC about Autumn.

We have Cassian telling us that Nesta was wrong about Elain being loyal like a dog, Rhys admit that maybe Elain behaves in certain ways because of the way the sisters treat her, we have Rhys and Mor tell Feyre to stay out of things with her meddling. We have Amren tell Az he's wrong about Elain. We have Rhys express genuine concern over the way Az spoke of Elain. These are characters who are a few steps away from it all and able to think more rationally because they aren't as personally invested in what happens. Feyre feels guilty for her sisters being made so she was desperate to throw Elain in any direction she thought might snap her out of her depression (except giving her a real chance to interact with her mate). Nesta and Az have / had too much of their own self loathing to see anything clearly. But in my opinion, Cassian, Mor, Rhys and Amren are the voices of reason when it comes to what's going on with Elucien and E/riel.

#elucien #antie/riel #anti e/riel #pro elucien

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harapeveco · 10 months

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miss harapeveco since we are in the topic of anime pls drop some recommendations I don’t have anything to watch

Omg oks so I have a very shitty taste in anime so this will be a very disappointing list but the ones I mostly recommend are:

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun: literally every scene is funny and iconic, it also invented m/f yaoi don’t ask it makes sense

Owari no Seraph: I mean this very unironically this anime fucking sucks but in a good way like nothing is ever explained, nothing makes sense and they gaslight you into believing the main boys are gonna be endgame by showing you a homoerotic scene of blood drinking. Just roll with it and don’t ask questions it’s better that way

The Persona 3 movies and the Persona 4/5 anime: the movies are really good they did a good job condensing +80 hours of gameplay in 4 movies (except the third movie but we don’t talk about that). Now when it comes to the persona 4 anime you can tell they didn’t give a shit that thing is just 24 episodes full of jokes and comedy the game wishes it had holy shit it’s really funny for no reason. The persona 5 anime is more complex in the sense that it’s very unwatchable if you go to it expecting something good. It’s bad it’s very bad it’s poorly animated and rushed and it’s just borderline unwatchable but it is really funny if you wanna have a good laugh about how bad something is I recommend it

Osomatsu-san: the first episode of the first season being yeeted into oblivion bc it was very much illegal to show all of it makes it worth it. Keep in mind this is an adult show (even if it doesn’t look like it) so there’s a lot of crude humor and sex jokes but all the characters are such trashy people I like to see them suffer

Kiss him not me: if you are a shipper this one is for you. Basically the MC is a yaoi obsessed fan girl who wants to see her classmates date each other yaoinly but they want to date her instead

ID Invaded: really good anime with a really good mystery and plot! Main character did everything wrong but I still love him also Sou did the opening for it

Happy sugar life: very fucked up horror about a high schooler in love with a literal child but it doesn’t go like you think it goes, they don’t portray it as romantic or cute they very much portray it as the fucked up thing it is and how wrong it is. It’s good if you like feeling unsettled and like to watch things go from 0 to 100 real fast

The promised neverland: amazing series with an amazing mystery and atmosphere! It’s a shame it only has one season tho I hope they make a second season of it in the future but it’s a shame it only has one

Dr stone: it has science, it’s horny, you have over the top characters, what more do you want

Natsume book of friends: you love to cry? You wanna cry after watching every single episode? Ofc you do! This shit will hit you in the gut so hard you will never recover. A beautiful story about acceptance, platonic love, found family and yokai with the best and most realistic character development I’ve ever seen

Gegege no Kitaro: this one is very broad bc no kidding this anime gets a new adaptation every decade. There’s a 60s version, a 70s version, an 80s version, a 90s version, a 2007 version, a 2008 version that is more adult and follows the manga and a 2018 version too if you like recent stuff more. Most of these are lost media tho good luck trying to find any version that is not the 2018 one. I forgot about the plot of it yeh uhhh basically a kid ghost is a medium between humans and yokai but he mostly play favorites with the yokai and sometimes fucks the humans over so idk if he’s really a medium, he’s very biased about it

The dangers in my heart: I talked about this one before but I’m talking about it again idc. Really cute and wholesome the MC is kinda horny but he’s like 14 boys at that age are pretty horny we have to stop pretending they aren’t. The first 3 episodes are so cringe they are very painful to watch but if you can go through them you will witness what I think it’s the cutest romance after horimiya. I don’t usually read manga bc I have the attention span of a rock but even I did a binge read of it bc it was just so good

King’s game: edgier than shadow the hedgehog 2006, it’s painfully bad like I can’t even begin to explain how horrible this anime is but good lord it made me laugh all the way through

Chuubyo gekihatsu boy: one of the main characters is a catboy called Rei Tsukumo and another character is a cringe Utaite what more can I say? It’s just dumb cringe kids being dumb as fuck for 12 episodes and you know what? It’s very good at it

Horimiya: just watch it for the love of god just watch it

Sasaki to Miyano: you have miyano who is like “I wonder if I’m gay??? I’m not sure???” While he reads gay manga and straight up imagines himself kissing his guy friend in the mouth like bestie COME ON

Thats all the anime I can think of the top of my head, well adding anime classics like fullmetal alchemist brotherhood, haikyuu, my hero academia (I only follow it bc the Todoroki family drama is the only thing well written in it), dragon ball (not dragon ball z bc as much as I like it I prefer dragon ball and the cutesy adventure aesthetic it has) and ofc how to forget sonic x

#answered ask #anime reviewer juju harapeveco #i hope this helped anon! if you watch any of these feel free to spam me about it i need more anime besties

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the-bi-space-ace · 11 months

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Hello there!!

Would you mind sharing a bit about some of your favorite OC’s?

Oh I would be so so so happy to share. It's probably not a shock that most of my OCs are clones 😅 also all of them are from Keep These Shadows Out!

Trick - sweetest man ever perfect never done anything wrong a day in his life. A medic stationed on a base to deal with recovering clones from battles during The Clone Wars. Curly hair with shaved sides so it’s longer on top. Would totally dye it a fun color if he had the supplies. He’s got a skeleton tattoo on his right hand and extending up his arm but does not have any ink on his pointer finger (the finger you’d use to pull a trigger). He’s never taken a life. That’s important to him. He gets a new bone tattooed every time he loses someone that he’s treating. Their lives mean a lot to him and he wants to carry them with him. It’s his way of remembrance. I can describe him as sass and attitude yet very very kind. He wants to make sure people don’t get hurt, he wants to heal them. He has crippling trouble sleeping. Knocks back coffee like it’s water and is a chronic snacker. Last time he had a full meal? Sometime before the war. He’d prefer to graze all day than sit down and eat three meals a day. He’s for sure got a sweet tooth and has found that candy is an easy way to make people feel a little bit better so he keeps some in the drawer of his desk. He has a soft spot for the shinies. Any time a shiny ends up in his medical facility he’s always the one treating them. He’s got a few people he’s closest to on the medical base but I sure haven’t thought that far ahead! One day I will.

Specter - ah. Perfect angel Specter. He’s worth mentioning even though I haven’t fleshed him out a lot yet. I still love him. He was the soul survivor of an attack at an abandoned base in the first chapter of Keep These Shadows Out. He lost everyone he knew and loved on one mission to a horrible attack. He is on his way to recovery but is certainly struggling. Luckily he has Slip and Cade (bc I loved them in that episode of TBB and had to include them in my story) to help him. He’s got a tattoo down the side of his face that I haven’t decided on yet, only that it’s a swirling pattern. He also has a Mohawk because I think that’s cool as hell.

Miri - hey! Not a clone! She is a very young Togruta child who lives on the mountainous planet Kiril with her sister and two moms. She is a sweet baby angel and she appears in exactly one chapter of Keep These Shadows Out but she is one of my faves. She is really young and has already been through too much but has a lot of support so she’ll grow and be just fine. She’s very sweet and I wish that I had more content with her in it.

#I love OCs #I love them even if I haven’t created their whole backstory yet #they’re sitting in my pocket just waiting for me to flesh out

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s1l4s-l1k3s-t0m4t03s · 1 month

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tw: ana, body shaming, body dysmorphia

this is kinda long so I totally understand if you don't want to read it :]

I think I might be developing ana

I'm really scared and I'm scared to tell my therapist or my parents because I'm worried they'll make me go to the mental hospital

my friends know and now at lunch or any time we eat together I can feel them looking at me and sometimes they ask me if I feel okay enough to eat which I can't stand

them drawing focus to food makes it so much harder to eat, it's so much easier when no one's paying attention to me

eating around people makes me extremely anxious and now I kinda regret telling my friends about this because now I just feel like they're pitying me every time we eat

I hate that I love the feeling of being hungry

I hate that I love how lightheaded and weak I feel after not having eaten anything all day

I hate how I hate my skinny body but I hate the idea of gaining weight even though I KNOW there's absolutely nothing wrong with it

I hate how difficult it is to find a chest binder that's small enough for me

I can't stand how many people think it's okay to comment on my body

I wear baggy clothes because I hate when people comment that I need to eat more after seeing how bony I am

I'm naturally skinny too, so I've heard this shit all my life "you need to eat more, you're too skinny" okay well how about fuck you for making me feel like shit about my perfectly healthy body

I think those comments are why I'm so anxious to eat around other people

I wish I could just be a normal teenager and eat more than 10 bites of plain pasta around my friends at lunch

with my body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria it's so hard to like the way I look

the only thing I like about the way I look is my hair (I have bright pink hair) but even still one of my friends always tells me how much she dislikes it and wishes I had brown hair because she never saw me with natural hair

and I have a feeling the guys in my grade think it's weird and I'm weird (that sterotypical emo kid with the emo haircut who uses he/they pronouns but wears skirts sometimes and has pink hair so obviously that just means they're a girl who's doing it for attention)

anyways sorry for the really long vent and thanks for actually listening to me if you made it this far. I hope things get better for you bc I know we're both just strangers on the internet but I really sincerely think that things will get better for you.

I'll end it lighter by asking: what's your favorite PTV song? I really love Stained Glass Eyes And Colorful Tears and Besitos :3

hii!! im so so sorry your dealing with that. by the soundd of it, your developing ed behaviours, if not, an ed. i understand the trans thing, about dressing or looking not stereotypically like a male/masc person yet still identifying as one. there is no right way to trans. your doing it right, your perfectly valif no matter how you look or whether you pass or not. people that point out your appearance are purely insecurr within themselves. you dont ever see secure people bullyinh do you??

with the eating thjng. they cant send you to a m3ntal h○spital unless you are a danger to somebody or yourself. if you are ☆ving yourself, there is a slihht chsnce you coukd get sent there. i would recommrned sayinh you are thinking of doing it, or beginnjng to develop so you can still get help, but not sent away.

if you dont feel comfortable eating arounf people, or are worried about people drawing attention to you, id recommened either flat out saying the topic of food makes you uncomfprtable, or eating when you get home. i get that fullt, im in a weird limbo between recovering and r3lasping, i eat a bit at school and the rest/something else at home.

weight gain can be scary, yes. i get that fully, you are not alone. but it doesnt change your worth at all. your still perfectly valid and fine, it may change your appearance but it doesmt take away from you as a person.

with the bindijg, if you cant currently get a binder, you can try transtape. if you have sensory issues, theres smt cslled milk of magnesia (liquid) you can put on the skin, let it dry fullt snd then apply the tape. if your struggling with the thought of gaining weight, but also not havjng the measurements to buy a binder, you could make it a goal.

"when i get to (xyz) weight, i can get a binder".

things like thst.

other than that im in the middle of class rn so my brain is a bit blank lmaoo

im very proud of you for venting dude, im so so sorry your exeperiencing this. try to get help, snd get out of ana as soon as possible if you can. itll mess you up for ljfe and you dont deserve thay.

my fav ptv song is today i saw the whole world (acousric ver) :) <3

edit:i would like to add, you dont need to change. even if you eat more and dont gain weight, thats perfectly fine. aim to be healthy,not to look a certain way or to be a certain weight :3 you do not ever need to change for somebody else

#silas tag!#thanks anon!#anon tag

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noramoons · 1 year

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yeah hair colors change so fast you blink and it’s new (and more often than not looks great) and you just have to recover from the whiplash LOL and yeah I didn’t start stanning txt till last year but after p much going through their whole discography and really getting invested I can say that they absolutely did not disappoint with this cb (it’s actually my first cb after stanning them too btw ^^ I started stanning after gbgb came out but I’d casually liked them since way back. it’s a story lol)

and yeah ffxiv has one of the best stories I’ve ever experienced in video games I’m so glad I took my time with it. it doesn’t take 6 months to complete and I’m sure ppl have done speedruns I just decided to go slow. It does have side content you can unlock but you can always go back and open it, no need to start another run. the game has technically been out for almost or about 10 years and had four expansions which are basically full games/sequels so it’s no surprise it was a long journey but it was an emotional ride and one of the best experiences I’ve ever had so it was worth every second. honestly one of the best written stories imo too everything was amazing and so well-written just *chef’s kiss* fr beck 🤌🏼🤌🏼😩😩

no this is so true they rlly will change that hair color NONSTOP i rlly am sometimes concerned for their roots 😭 i’m sure they’re treating their hair right but sometimes it does look Very crispy agfndndh

and AWWW omg this is such a good first txt cb to start with !!! i knew you said you’d kinda been casually around since blue hour i think ?? which is abt when i got into them too hehe but it’s absolutely never too late to start stanning, they’re such a fun group and i rlly do think this album was one of their best. it was just inexplicably Them like idk how to say it 😫 their sound and their whole concept was just so txt (and i’m just also always a sucker for anything peter pan related tbh)

and aaaa okay okay i see !! that’s good that you were able to go thru it and really enjoy the story, that says a lot abt the quality that you were willing to devote time to it for that! i didn’t realize it had been out for 10 years tho?? :O i knew there were several games but i wasn’t sure if they were all direct sequels or spin-offs or what ahaha. didn’t they also remake ffvii? that’s the only thing i kind of know about bc i remember a few of my friends irl talking about it LOL but what was that about 👁️👁️

but i’m glad it’s been such a good payoff for the time you’ve put into it !! i love when something is so well written that it almost feels like a reward in a way hehe. and ik you have absolutely immaculate taste izzy so if you say the storyline is good then i KNOW it’s good 😎

#beck answers 💌#decembermoonskz

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nicoh57 · 2 years

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I hope you decide to come back and stay sooner than later.. I don’t feel whole. Everything feels like a chore. There’s no point in trying to talk to anyone. I can’t even pretend I’m fine long enough to get into a discord and talk with the people I play games with. Other than work and typical household daily shit.. all I can do is lay some where and watch reruns of Rick and morty. Or archer. Just something I can listen to without having to actually watch bc I’ve seen it so many times. I can see the show in my head sort of. But comfort shows and a blanket can only last for so long. Things feel heavier by the day. I don’t feel my mood improving. I don’t feel my overall attitude getting better in the slightest. I feel more stuck than I felt before all of this. I don’t know what tomorrow brings and the uncertainty freaks me out because who knows what might happen tomorrow, in general. Not literally tomorrow.

I’m scared of a depressing, lonely life. Forced to watch the woman I wanted to spend my life with, happier with someone else. I’m scared of losing myself so bad that I don’t recover like a normal person. I’m scared of pushing away every partner I ever get with my crippling obsession of a life I thought I’d be living until I died, too hung up on the idea of something that won’t be obtainable. I’m scared of not being enough for my kids, myself or anyone. I thought I was alone when I basically grew up with parents that never gave a shit or were ever worth a fuck. I had gotten lucky when you came into my life. Without realizing it right away, you became the light of my life. My reason for anything. I was happy when I was with you and I felt whole. Over time, I did what I have now realized I will always do, which was fuck things up. I was too young. Too naive. I took what gave me life and hope, for granted. I treated the one person who did everything for me like pure shit. Was their responses to it the best? Probably not. But for the most part it was deserving. As time went on and the years went by I think I slowly started to understand what I needed to be and who I needed to be. But by the time I had any kind of grasp of the direction I was supposed to go, it had been too late. Irreparable damage had been made and there was a price to pay. And boy, did I pay. I used to think about kristina everyday when she left. I was furious. With myself. With her. With everything. I hated myself for catching on too late. I hated myself for not being good enough, quicker. I hated her for giving up. I hated her for choosing someone as scummy as him. I hated everything about everything. My temper was short. My patience was shorter. And then I experienced my own mental break. I acted in ways that made me not even recognize myself. I did and said things I think back about and cringe. That person I was that year was.. unrecognizable and just as bad as the people I hated. I do miss a few of the friends I had sometimes. They were relaxing and refreshing to be around. It was nice. I feel like if maybe I hadn’t been a total piece of shit I might still be friends with some of them. But there’s no use in bitching about it now, really. But after that time was over, and I was reintroduced to kristina. Things felt different. Both in a good way and a bad way. I tried to hold out as long as I could. But I could not contain my feelings and my thoughts. I had started neglecting the person I was dating to fill the void and it makes me feel like such a piece of shit I didn’t just leave her before doing or saying anything to kristina. But I couldn’t help myself. She was just a glimpse in time compared to the lifetime of memories and experience I had with kristina. She was my home. My happiness. My heart melted the moment she stepped back into my life. Kissing her felt like my chest was on fire. Sex with her made me feel like I was a million bucks. Seeing her everyday again, gave me actual butterflies. I felt like I was falling in love with her all over again. And when I finally posted that first picture of us on social media again, I felt like all was right in the world again. But certain things started falling into my lap. Weighing in on my mental. Making me insecure and anxious. And I didn’t talk about it. I didn’t want to. It was embarrassing. So I dove into shutting down, daily. Cutting myself off from everything to suppress my bad shit. And I started ignoring the obvious signs that kristina needed me. Not on purpose. I was just.. wrapped up in my own shit I guess..which is a terrible excuse but I truthfully couldn’t focus on anything. But, I needed to be there for her so she could learn to trust me 100% again and I failed her. I took out my own frustration and insecurities on her and neglected her. And she began to resent me. And distant herself slowly. Fast forward to now.. when I’ve finally realized what I needed to do, yet again when it feels too late.. and I’m really trying, I really want to spend my life with her.. I love her infinitely

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caloires · 3 years

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some things i learned while hospitalised

- that dizzy feeling you have when you stand up? that has to do with orthostatics, or your change in heart rate from sitting to standing. a normal change is 10-20 bpm, most people with ed's is in the 80s to 100s, the more malnourished (NOT underweight. those are different things) you are, the worse it is. this is bc your heart is weak and can't keep up with pumping blood through your body, it's not something quirky or fun, you could pass out and seriously injure yourself or have a heart attack.

- as i mentioned above, UNDERWEIGHT AND MALNOURISHED ARE NOT THE SAME THING. you can be 'overweight' and be malnourished, you can be a 'healthy' weight and be malnourished, it's not about weight it's about how you are fuelling your body. not getting enough protein and minerals can make you malnourished. not getting enough carbs and fat and sugar can make you malnourished. it's not about weight.

- laxatives are insanely harmful. i know we all say it. but it's true. your body won't be able to digest food properly, you won't be able to shit without them, the bloating and intestinal damage caused can be permanent. in hospital, they gave us stool softeners once a week if we really needed them because they are less harmful than traditional lax, but still not safe.

- the 'sick enough' mentality is BULLSHIT. i was admitted at an 18 BMI, there were people in there with overweight BMIs, there was only ONE girl who looked like the stereotypical hollywood '13 BMI' ED shit. if you are reading this post from your edblr, you are clearly sick enough to get help. ed's are not, and never have been, about weight. those who suffer worry about weight, sometimes, but the diagnosis and effects on our lives revolve around our relationship with FOOD. and the damage that causes our bodies and minds.

- there's a million different ed's. my official diagnosis is Anorexia (Binge/Purge subtype). i never made myself sick. i purged with severe exercise. what's the difference between that and bulimia? according to my doctor (who i slightly disagree with) it's about restriction, as supposedly bulimics don't restrict, only binge/purge. i didn't know there were different types of anorexia, let alone OSFED, AFRID or PICA. and even those can be broken into subtypes. the point im trying to make is: not everyone binges, not everyone restricts, not everyone is worried about body image, not everyone exercises, not everyone purges. EVERY EATING DISORDER IS DIFFERENT.

- you never fully recover. ever. just like any other mental illness, you can treat symptoms, you can get therapy, you can build a healthy relationship with food and self, but every once in a while, those thoughts will always come back. it gets easier to push them away, to treat them like fleeting thoughts, but they're still there. im not saying this to scare anyone away from recovery, if you're thinking about it, PLEASE RECOVER. most things go back to normal-ish, things do get better, but there seems to be an idea that recovery is black and white. it will be hard, you will have days you want to relapse, you will never fully get rid of the thoughts, but you sure as hell can quiet them. recovery is always worth it, and every single person deserves it.

- men with ed's are more likely than you think. the actual statistic is estimated at about 50/50. what's the difference? men tend not to seek help. trans men are at severely higher risk for eating disorders than cis men or women. those gym bros who work out 24/7 and only eat protein? that's an ed. maybe less obviously, most teenage-early adult men don't eat all day, and then have large amounts of food at dinner. my roommates, for example, don't eat all day, then will have take away from 3 different places, a family box or cereal and two boxes of mac and cheese in what is, effectively, a binge. but they don't count calories, they don't really worry about body image. because ed's aren't about that. it's about your relationship with food.

- you can and will stunt your development if you're a teenager. your body won't produce the needed hormones from puberty (including growth, muscle/bone development, and sex characteristics) when malnourished, meaning you can fuck up your strength, bone density, height, and pretty much all other aspects of puberty with an ed. that never comes back. recovering when you're older than puberty age won't make you suddenly start to develop. you will, essentially, be stuck in a semi-developed body for life. one girl in hospital was on an estrogen supplement because of this, it helped her to get a little stronger/develop a little bit, but no where near what it should have been.

basically: eds are scary shit and im so sorry to anyone who has had to go through it. please don't ever take your disorder lightly, it could kill you. you are always worthy of recovery. you are loved, you are important, you are needed in this world.

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jypbae7 · 3 years

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Could you do a breakdown natal chart for Kun from Wayv?

QIAN KUN - NATAL CHART

Kun was one the most requested I got which was a pleasant surprise!!❤️❤️

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Capricorn Sun, Leo Rising, Taurus Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Capricorn Mars

Clearly a LOT of Earth sign placements but nicely broken up by the fire sign rising

Capricorn Sun has serious and long term plans for the kind of future they want for themselves and once they set out for it they seldom give up. Stubborn to a fault, but also consistent enough to actually persevere. They want the perfect job, reputation, partner, house, family, etc.

Leo rising is a bright, warm and outgoing personality. Lots of energy, creativity and flair. They enjoy having a strong core of friends that they feel understand and enhance their experience and effect on the world. Leo’s are known for being hardworking and as a fixed sign it offers a lot of consistency and determination. They are extremely devoted and loyal once they develop a bond and trust with someone. Though the passion can fizzle out quickly if they aren’t feeling the kind of attention and passion they want.

Taurus Moon is a very grounded person with more social charisma and approachability than Capricorns are known for. They also have a tendency to like bold styles, they have big dreams and goals and you’ll be surprised at how well they can attain them if they’re focused enough (Kun is a Capricorn Stellium so yes this boy KNOWS how to get shit done when it needs to be done) Taurus is also a fixed sign which along with the stubbornness everyone knows about also comes with patience and consistency making them really good leaders when added with their natural friendliness and perseverance

Capricorn Mercury indicates a strong preference for structure, somebody who tends to follow rules and feels uncomfortable breaking them. They tend to have authoritative energy and demeanor. Big ambitions and determination to succeed and excel in their chosen career. Spend more time thinking than they show with a generally very logical mind which can sometimes lead to a black & white perspective

Capricorn Mars - responsible, organized, secretly a thrill seeker, can come off as aloof or guarded when they are around new people or people who they really want to make a good impression on.

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising, Capricorn Mercury, Capricorn Mars

Trustworthy and dependable - the “dad” of the friend group who everyone calls when they have something serious to deal with

Platonic love languages: acts of service and quality time - he loves spending time with people with shared interests especially music. Also loves going out to different places such as different trendy cafes, movie theaters, museums - you name it.

Likes other thrill seekers who push and motivate him to get out of his comfort zone

Sense of humor is a lot more childlike and playful than one would expect from his serious and strict side

Capricorn energy is NOT to be crossed or messed with. These are the ones who are calm af and calculated when angry - this is when you know you are screwed. When Capricorn is calm and collected while enraged, ohhh boy, do they figure out ways to hurt you in the smoothest and most effective ways without so much as lifting their finger. Spare yourself the trauma and DO NOT LIE to him no matter what.

Romantic relationships and preferences : Aquarius Venus, Capricorn Mars, Capricorn Juno, Aries Eros

Aquarius Venus is outgoing, friendly and charismatic. They are attracted to interesting and unique people who stand out of the crowd. They like bold and spontaneous gestures and they will do them back for their partner as well.

Aquarians also dislike overly clingy/needy partners which Capricorn also isn’t a fan of either. These signs are all about independence, individuality, personal expression and achievement. Meaning that while they do yearn for a partner (especially Capricorn placements) they want a partner who is self sufficient and independent with their own hobbies, careers, dreams, goals, etc.

Capricorn Juno implies they’ll be a tough to nail down for very long because Capricorn wants only the best of everything and they’re always busy trying to excel at things and scoping out their options. So you’ll have to prove your worth to them before they are willing to commit because once they do it’s for the long haul

Capricorn likes natural ethereal beauty while Aquarius likes the bold - my guess is healthy mix of both. Natural looking and soft featured with some bold/unique traits like bright/bold hair or fashion style, a bit of spice/sass here and there is another secret pleasure

Be prepared for endless serenades and songs made and sent to you like love letters - whether he’s singing or composing a warm ethereal instrumental for you, his whole heart is in it

Love languages (most to least) - words of affirmation, gift giving, physical touch and quality time

Words of affirmation makes him feel really wanted and needed, he’s also really really good at giving it out to people he loves so if he’s doing it one sidedly it would hurt him and make him feel insecure.

Gives either unbelievably beautiful luxe gifts or unique/fun gifts and loves to surprise his partner with them often especially after time apart

Capricorns HATE wasting time they are hyper aware of how many hours in a day and how much can be done in a day. So, if he’s spending a lot of time with you, you’re very very special and important to him and he prioritizes this time very highly

Star gazing dates, beach dates, camping trips - this man will go out of his way to make sure every date is an experience. He is PREPARED, he has an itinerary in his mind, he’s looked up the travel routes and picked the best one. When you go camping he will FLEX with his efficiency and ability to handle the labor heavy tasks. This man will purposely wait till you’re looking to start chopping wood (not that ANYONE is complaining), put the tent up and have it filled with blankets and pillows galore in 2.00034 seconds because he practiced in the dorm living room with the others like a drill routine. (Lucas taught him how to chop the wood & still look hot while doing it)

Is the MOST polite and endearing person to your family and friends. Goes above and beyond to be the perfect partner around your family and they are unable not to LOVE him. Is especially soft and doting of any children or elderly relatives. And none of it is phony at all, he doesn’t know anyway else to even think. Respect, manners, and family are extremely important to Earth signs. They’ll probably end up liking him more than you but honestly you can’t even blame them

(None of y’all ungrateful people better ever slack on Zaddy Kun’s visuals ever again!! If I don’t get to see his happy trail during 2021 I’m burning the SM building down once and for all)

18+ Preferences:

Aries Eros ooof - passionate, possessive and steamy. Pick their partners off instinct and energy - once they really like you they become infatuated and want to STAY that way. If it’s not the “I need you so fucking bad I’m gonna lose my mind” type of love they DON’T want it.

Leo Rising is a possessive as fuck placement thankfully when they get riled up or jealous they have the confidence not to get angry with you or insecure about it. BUT.... you‘ll still be awakening a whole new type of beast and quite frankly he will let you know that it’s all your fault as he holds you down and uses you like the stupid toy you are till you remember who you belong to

If he sees you doing anything even remotely domestic his Taurus Moon and Capricorn Juno will have his mind go from soft and warm thoughts to bending you over the kitchen counter and taking you right there without a care or second thought spared

Positions where he feels in in control are his favorite - he likes being on top of you, behind you and if he can pick you up and carry you while ramming into you best believe he will.

His favorite is position is missionary - likes to feel big and dominant he also wants to be able to see as much of you as possible and kissing you as much as possible from your lips to just about anywhere else he can reach. Will be staring at you 99% of the time with big smoldering eyes that don’t waver in the slightest. In fact if you give him eye contact back he’ll just be even more turned on

Now...this might be controversial but... Capricorn Mars usually suggests power play/dynamic kink - think rich powerful CEO who secretly fantasizes about being tied up and blindfolded. Not to say that is exclusively his main kink bc it’s definitely not, he is 100% mostly dom BUT with the right person he’d be more than willing and very excited to try it out - probably because they are always in control so it’s an adrenaline rush for them to relinquish it to someone else. Doesn’t necessarily mean an extreme level of being submissive even just simple restraints can feel very extreme for a bossy and in-control Capricorn

Aquarius Venus also likes breaking relationship “norms” and trying out new things. They are super fun and bright when happy so when he’s in love he’s in LOVE. Wants to sing about it 24/7 but is too stubborn to be clingy or needy. The type to smile during sex, especially when he’s on top of you or drunk. Don’t even get me started on drunk handsy Kun whining in your ear about how he just wants to sneak out of the party early.....bc I will genuinely never recover

Very vocal in the bedroom - gives his partner tons of praise. Completely loses his mind and is loud af when you kiss your way from his neck down to below the hips

Most of the time sex with him is more passionate than kinky, not lightening fast jack rabbit thrusts instead hard and deep rhythmic ones that make your whole body shake - Hungry makeout sessions, sneaky little hickeys where no one else will see, massages than turn into hours of love making, takes his time to hit deep and hard inside you, handfuls of your hair, gaspy whispers

When he is feeling more kinky it’s usually spur of the moment. In the car in the middle of a rainy night during a cancelled schedule or after an especially steamy date night where he decides to take you to a hotel afterwards

KING OF AFTER CARE (NOT up for debate) - cooks you an amazing meal afterwords or orders up a feast if he’s too spent to get up too, cuddled up in blankets watching a movie for the rest of the night afterwards.

#wayv #weishen v #kun #qian kun #wayv smut #wayv scenarios #wayv imagines #wayv astrology #nct astrology #nct u #nct #nct imagines

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jostenneil · 3 years

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how do you feel about people shipping toxic ships?

i think this depends on a few things. primarily, that fandom tends to conflate the terms abusive and toxic with each other. . . a lot. toxicity is inherent to abuse, but the reverse of that isn’t necessarily true. you can have a toxic relationship with someone without it being abusive, esp since, to me at least, abuse specifically arises from a person taking advantage of a power dynamic within what should normally be a mutually supportive relationship to deliberately hurt the other person. an example of an abusive relationship to me would be (from the grisha trilogy) alina and the darkling, who uses alina’s trust and sympathy towards him to manipulate, isolate, and threaten her to the point that it emotionally debilitates her and threatens her other relationships with people. there’s a clear power dynamic being manipulated there to the advantage of one person and to the harm of the other

a toxic relationship to me can involve intentional behavior but it can also involve a lot of unintentional behavior, esp that driven by trauma or a non-ideal upbringing, and then i also think a lot of toxic relationships are simply. . . between people you would never expect to get along to begin with. a lot of enemies to lovers ships have their initial basis in toxicity bc the people involved are enemies. they’re not supposed to actually like each other (or value each other’s lives) in the beginning, and usually if you write such a dynamic well, then certain political events and revelations eventually help those stances evolve to where the toxicity is addressed and overcome (and the same process can apply to rivals to lovers situations as well, albeit along softer parameters usually since politics aren’t necessarily involved). i personally like to see toxicity explored if writers give it direction. toxicity is off-putting if it’s static bc then it serves no other purpose than to scream in big neon letters “omg these ppl are sooo toxic it’s so sexy blah blah blah” and that’s incredibly boring to me. what well explored toxicity does is analyze how the people involved are impacted by that toxicity. whether being toxic invokes remorse, isolation, misery, etc. that’s what interests me

sometimes, it goes the ideal way, wherein characters realize their toxicity only hurts themselves and they express a genuine desire to change and grow. sasuke (from naruto) is a fairly obv example of that phenomenon to me, in that, yes, he’s absolutely right to be distrustful of the villages’ ulterior motives and to want justice for his family’s massacre, but driving away the people he loves and who love him doesn’t ultimately help him in attaining that goal or vision. post canon naruto is an absolute mess, but i think most people would agree on the general premise that in an ideal world, sasuke opening himself back up to naruto, sakura, and kakashi could have helped him enact change bc he would have a support system behind him, and he wouldn’t have to further isolate himself or render himself so prone to manipulation via trauma if he was able to rely on people he genuinely cared about

other times, toxicity can go the tragic route. the characters may be aware of their faults but fail to figure out how to fix them, or they may not be aware of those faults at all and continue to indulge in them until their ultimate downfall. as miserable as that sounds, i think there’s a value in narratives like that, too. it teaches you a lesson, and it can also garner sympathy from you as a reader in some circumstances bc you may realize that some toxic behaviors of a given character were inadvertent and they didn’t have the resources or environment that would make them conducive to change. that’s like the epitome of wuthering heights to me. most of the characters are absolutely terrible to each other, but there’s something to learn from that, and with heathcliff esp, you see that a lot of his toxicity stems from trauma and abuse that he didn’t really have the emotional resources to ever recover from, so you can’t entirely render him into a villain bc it’s a flat reading

toxicity can also exhibit a blend of the two above scenarios. wuthering heights also feels like a good example of that to me. heathcliff and catherine’s ends are tragic, but hareton and cathy junior’s ends are far more hopeful in comparison. some people don’t learn, but others do, and it’s a good insight into the nature of human dichotomy as well as cycles of toxicity and abuse within context of class and race relations

so ultimately, i think i personally find a lot of worth in exploration of toxic relationships bc it can really get to the heart of analysis of the human psyche and how real world relationships are often non ideal. but that being said, how i feel about the phenomenon as it goes in fandom is. . . tricky. i’ll be straight and say i don’t think most people are sensible enough to really get to the root of what makes toxic relationships interesting and are instead content to rely on toxic stasis bc it’s easily marketable and readily appealing. you don’t have to deal with the real questions contending with toxicity demands of you if you don’t care, and that’s unfortunately a mindset that pervades fandom at large

#asks #mine:media analysis #narratives #sorry this is so long omg. i just have a lot of thoughts #i also didn’t rly get into the race or imperial contexts this can exist within #but generally i think it’s a very fine line to toe #like as an example i used to really ship zutara as a kid #but i think a lot of fandom interpretation of the ship severely underscores katara’s trauma or her right to feel justified bc of it #she and zuko aren’t just toxic to be toxic. he’s literally part of a colonial project that lead to the near genocide of her people #so to see how their relationship is reduced to these like. scenarios where katara becomes fire lady and they live hea is bizarre tbh #like how do people think a water bender ruling over a nation of people who wanted her people dead and/or enslaved was going to work 😶#toxic dynamics that deal with this kind of relationship between a person who was colonized and a colonizer as such require a Lot of work #work that most media featuring these kind of relationships simply isn’t willing to go the extra mile to do lol

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nagitolovebug · 3 years

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How did komahina co-parent at first? How was hajimes reaction to the twins? Did bebi like getting siblings

komahina's co-parenting at first was...definitely an Ordeal. not even because of bebi, but bc komahina is a mess. originally hajime was very insecure about his role in bebi's life, as he had very clearly asserted himself as a separate person from izuru and that he was going to live as hajime and not someone else- so wouldn't that make bebi Not his kid? sure, they're his genetically, but in theory.... that was the dilemma he dealt with. he'd already grown attached to them when he was caring for them while nagito was still in a coma and worries now that nagito has woken up, his job is done, and that nagito won't want him around bebi anymore. in turn, nagito is worried that bc hajime is asserting himself as separate from izuru that he doesn't see bebi as his kid and will not be interested in raising them, that bebi will lose their father and nagito will lose his once-husband (lurking somewhere in hajime's subconscious...) turned best friend. they live together right off the bat, sleeping in the same bed (bebi likes to be held by the 2 of them to fall asleep...but even when bebi sleeps in their own bed they didn't think to get separate bedrooms or anything...) and end up becoming very.....affectionate with one another despite their claims that they're purely platonic. they "platonically" hold hands, cuddle, kiss, kiss, and more...intimate things in the cover of night ;) nagito's convinced hajime is just "using him for stress relief" and he's only truly staying bc he'd feel guilty leaving bebi. hajime thinks they're together. this miscommunication is not truly cleared up until hajime proposes. other than that, they both love bebi very very much and spend all their time with bebi, doting on them, playing with them, caring for them.

as for hajime's reaction to the twins- that in itself was also an Ordeal! when nagito found out he was pregnant again, bebi was very sick and in the hospital, which was very hard on nagito as he blamed himself. and he had resigned himself to leaving bebi and hajime, thinking they'd be safer without him in their lives. hajime was an adult who was fully informed of the danger of nagito's luck and had izuru's luck to protect him ! but bebi couldn't consent to that. he did not want to risk hurting his child in any capacity. so he resigned himself to leaving...but the news of pregnancy only devastated him further. to think he'd ruin not only bebi and hajime's lives but the life of another baby (not knowing it was twins lol)....it was too much for him. the plan was to leave the island, suffer through the pregnancy by himself, and come back after the birth to drop their new baby off before disappearing forever.

trans male pregnancy under the cut

bc nagito's carrying twins, the toll on his body during this pregnancy is far worse than it was during despair. he becomes very weak and sickly, especially with the added stress and despair of trying to leave his 'best friend' and kid, his kid being in the hospital,,, he hasn't been taking care of himself. the night bebi returns from the hospital (fully recovered! ...but having finally fully lost their vision in their right eye), hajime catches nagito trying to leave. he'd collapsed on his way out, having gotten incredibly dizzy. he'd left nothing but a note on the nightstand reading, "Be back soon." hajime wakes up to an empty bed and almost (almost) panics, steadies his breaths to the small snores of a sleeping baby in a nearby crib. he finds nagito half unconscious on the beach slumped on a duffel bag. "nagito??? nagito???? nagito!!! oh, thank god" "h...inata-kun?" "yea, it's me, come on, let's get you-" and nagitos eyes clear up and he shoves hajime away. "nagito-?" "stay away from me!" "nagito, you're not in your right mind, let's go back to the cabin-" "...how did you find me." "well, I found your note, which scared me shitless- I had no idea where you were or what had happened to you and frankly, I'm pretty pissed about that, but that can wait until I know you're safe-" "I'm so sorry, hinata-kun, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry, hinata-kun, hinata-kun, hinata-kun-" "jeez, I said you can call me hajime... it's alright, relax, i'm not really mad. I was just worried." "you don't understand, you have to get away from me now-" "what are you even doing out here. what's with the bag" "hinata-kun." "....where were you going" "I hadn't decided yet" "why" "I-" "just bc you're in remission, you think you can just do whatever you want? what if something happened to you? goddamn it, you're not bullet proof, nagito! I know you're working on it, I know you're trying, but fuck you're so goddamn selfish! people care about you! I care about you! why can't you just understand that!" "i won't let myself hurt you!" "you're hurting me now!" "this will ruin your life, i will ruin your life-" "im your fucking....best friend, just tell me what's wrong, i can help you-" "nobody can help me, it's too late for me..." "goddamn it, nagito, please-!" and nagitos voice breaks when he whispers. "...i'm pregnant" ".......what" and nagito breaks into a quiet sob "I'm pregnant, hajime, and no one else on this island would dare defile themselves with me the way you have..." "are you serious?" "please don't make me say it again" and maybe if nagito weren't lost in a spiral of self deprecation and if his eyes weren't swimming with tears, he would've seen the nervous smile that broke out on hajime's face, the joy in his voice. "nagito, that's-!" "horrible? disgusting? i know I'm an abomination, hajime, maybe if my pathetic body functioned the way it was meant to-" "don't say that. don't you ever say that" "please just leave..." "you...you were pregnant with our kid and you were gonna leave??? what if you relapsed? what if you needed me?" hajime grabbed his face and forced nagito to look at him. "why are you doing this?" nagito laughed breathlessly, hysterically. "don't worry, hinata-kun, i would have brought them back! i simply didnt want to force you through the despair of having someone as putrid as me being pregnant, knowing that you've procreated with the lowest scum of the earth....surely it would ruin you. besides, i could never take your child from their father. nor would i subject them to my luck...will you let me go now, knowing your child will be alright" "they're your kid too" "for the sake of their sanity I'd rather keep that to myself" hajime steeled his expression, then grabbed Nagito's wrist. "we're going back to the cabin. we'll talk more in the morning." "Hinata-kun, let go of me." "nagito, let's go." "hinata, let go" "I'm not leaving you out here" nagito starts tearing up again and scratching frantically at his own skin. "please" "we're leaving." and hajime picks nagito up (he was

probably still too dizzy to walk anyway). but nagito starts screaming and thrashing and crying and weakly hitting hajime. "LET ME GO, LET ME GO, LET ME GO, IM GONNA HURT YOU, IM GONNA KILL YOU, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE-" and hajime starts silently crying too but he just holds on tighter and keeps walking. i think they get to the cabin and hajime sets him down on the bed and nagito starts punching hajimes chest (not hard) but hajime just grabs his wrists and holds them tight as nagito struggles and cries softly. "i ruined your life..me and this broken body of mine." "i...love you. you're not broken. I'm not leaving and neither are you." "i hate you..." "you're the best thing that ever happened to me." "I'll kill you..." "you won't." "why won't you just leave.." "why won't you stay." "..." "lets go to bed. we'll see mikan in the morning. get some rest." nagito is still scratching at his skin when hajime pulls him against his chest and forces nagito to lay down with him. "i love you" "im scared..." "i know" "im so sorry.." "i know. it's ok" "it's not" "as long as you're still with me, it is." "you're too kind to me.." "i love you." "how many times are you going to say that." "as many times as it takes for you to believe it." and the conversation pitters off as nagito silently sobs into hajime's chest until he passes out while Hajime rubs small circles into his back and presses kisses to his head. nagito wakes up with his eyes swollen face still tucked into Hajime's chest and he knows hajime's awake bc he can feel his chest vibrating with light hums and soft strokes to his hair. nagito looks up and licks his lips, eyes watering again when he sees hajime's patient gaze, his eyes crinkling in a worried smile, extenuating the eyebags and evident exhaustion. "hinata-kun, i'm so s-" "shhh. none of that. we're seeing mikan in a bit, i already called her. i'm sorry for not noticing what was going on. it must have been so hard dealing with this alone.." "you shouldn't have to deal with it.." "i want to. i love you. we're in this together. for as long as you'll have me. it's hard, it's really hard sometimes, because i hate seeing you like this..it makes me feel so helpless it reminds me of-- the. program. but it's worth it. for you, it's always worth it." "hinata..." "keep resting. don't strain yourself too much." "i love you...i love you..i love you ..." "i know." going to see mikan and mikan warns them that Yes nagito is in fact pregnant and the fact that he's just come off of chemo and is still in remission is gonna make the pregnancy tough on him physically and that he's gonna get about as sick as he was before but promises it's temporary and that she guarantees he'll see the baby to full term ("link that's medically incorrect" idc link does what he wants Hajime has a dude put in his head via lobotomy science is a liar sometimes) and hajime holds nagito's hand the entire time and presses a kiss to his cheek when he cries a little when mikan says the baby will be healthy and ok and survive and nagito turns to him and gives him a watery smile before laughing and crying joyously a little more and thats when hajime knows they'll be ok. they do talk more abt this whole thing, nagito's motives, bebi,,,,but that's like a 1k fic and this post is alr long enough 😅maybe i'll polish it and make it a fic. long story short, hajime's personally extremely happy that nagito's pregnant, but his worry over nagito's health as a whole, physical and mental kinda trumped that but past that- it's nothing but excitement! (they did not know they were having twins...so excitement and a surprise!) as for bebi, they were very happy to be getting a sibling! they love mimicking everyone they see by talking to their papa's tummy, touching it, generally babbling to komahina how they're gonna share their toys with the baby, will the baby play with them, can they share a room? they always want more love in their life !

#komahina #cw tokophobia #cw trans male pregnancy #im a trans guy before u come for me xoxo #danganronpa #bebi kamukura #nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #anon #asks

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