#I’m not like sad just angry

[crybaby-bkg]

cw: pregnancy, kids (you guys have a daughter together), fwb’s, angst with a bit of a hopeful ending, refers to you as ‘girl’ once

Friends with benefits Bakugou who never really got over his ego to fully commit to you. You’re a little ashamed to admit it, but when you fell pregnant, you thought that things would change. That the whole “no feelings” aspect would’ve been dropped, that he would’ve embraced you fully.

But he just…didn’t? If anything, he distanced himself away from you, became so formal like you were another coworker he would address. It was heartbreaking, going through your first pregnancy feeling so, so alone, but having to grin and bear it the whole way through.

He supported you though in every way that he could. He never missed an appointment, would trek to your house during late nights whenever you craved something. He even moved you in to his own apartment during your last trimester, but a couple months after your baby was born, you went back home. You never felt unwelcome, but you couldn’t pretend to be a happy family when he slept in the guest room every night.

So now, you coparent quite easily. At least, it seems easy to Bakugou, but really, it’s all a facade.

In all honesty? He thinks he’s a fuck up. An idiot. The stupidest, shittiest person who’s ever existed.

He thought what he was doing was enough, that the words he didn’t say carried across oceans, formulated into titles that he never verbalized. So when you told him you would be happy to coparent, his world felt upended suddenly, as he holds his tiny little baby girl in his arms.

Coparent? How could a couple coparent? Where did he go wrong? (He only slept in the guest room to give you and baby space, only moved you in late because you lived so far away and you were getting so big. He never said I love you because he was too embarrassed to say it out loud. He didn’t know he had to say it out loud to solidify it. He thought you just knew.)

So it’s why his heart breaks when he catches a glimpse of curly blond hair and red eyes in the grocery store. He tries to duck behind an aisle, but his baby would recognize him anywhere. (It’s true; you’ve sent many videos of her recognizing him on billboards and tv commercials and magazines.)

“Bakugou?” You call, ducking around the corner to catch a glimpse of him. He tries to act nonchalant like he’s looking at cans of soup, tries not to cringe at your formal name. He turns when you come into view, eyes drinking in your attire. His heart breaks a little when he recognizes the shirt you took in your second trimester, still has the pic you sent him of you grinning as you show off what you stole.

“Hey.” Bakugou greets gruffly, mouth pulled tight, but it cracks into a grin when his daughter starts squealing. She’s in the front part of the shopping cart, twisting her little chunky body to get out and get to him. She damn near screams when he sets his basket down to pick her up, rubbing his nose to hers.

“How ya doing, squirt?” He asks quietly, pecking at her chubby cheeks as she instantly starts babbling to him. He holds her close to his chest, eyes full of pure love for his baby girl, and it makes your heart squeeze so tight you think it might burst.

“This isn’t your neck of the woods.” You mutter, head tilting to the side as you take in your daughters excited face to see her father. Bakugou’s eyes snap to your own, letting his daughter play with his fingers in the meanwhile. He looks embarrassed, cheeks a dusty pink as he grumbles and looks away.

“I was just picking up some stuff to drop off for her. Was gonna text you and see if you were home,” he replies, and something tells you that it’s a lie. But you don’t pester him about it, just nod a few times, taking in the sight.

He looks so good like that, in his compression shirt and sweats, his hair mussed from your daughters incessant pulling. He’s grinning at her, but looks so bashful when he turns to you, like he’s thinking about things he knows he shouldn’t, like he has a boatload to say but can’t cough up.

And if you were a mind reader, you’d be so fucking right. He can’t help but reminisce on before you got pregnant, the nights spent with you. The day you told him you were having a girl, the tears you cried when you delivered her. He thinks, filled with so much guilt the entire time, that he wants another one. With you.

“‘S it okay if I walk my favorite girls home?” He asks you gruffly, nibbling on your daughters cheeks to hear her giggle again, uncaring of the drool she leaves on his hand. You feel your eyes widen at his term for you, face suddenly flushing. Favorite? You, his favorite?

Something tells you that you shouldn’t fall down the rabbit hole that is Bakugou Katsuki and his suppressed emotions and shitty ego. But there’s another something that tells you to trust it this time, to let things happen organically and without expectation. So you do.

“I’m sure she would love to show her daddy the new toy her grandma just brought her.” You tell him, giggling when he rolls his eyes at the mention of his mother. But he walks with you the entire time you finish up your grocery order, holding your daughter the whole time and pays for your groceries despite repeatedly telling him that he doesn’t have to.

He pushes her in the stroller stored underneath the shopping cart on the way home, making small conversation. And when you’re halfway home, does he reach for your hand. Only to cross the cross walk though, he tells himself, only for your protection. But he doesn’t let go until you’re in your own place, and even then, he’s close by the entire time. He helps you put away groceries, remembers where everything is like he lives here.

And for some reason, the familiarity makes your heart ache a little more than you would like it to.

#full of sadness tonight srry #but I’m obsessed with this idea actually #I wanna expand on it even more in a fic #I don’t like to write angst for him but this idea is just :( #he’s so shitty at communicating his feelings and you hate assuming things #so many things are just left unsaid for so long that you just force yourself to get over it and move on #and he’s so confused and so angry that you could leave him like that #but he never had you in the first place now did he? #ohh it makes me wanna sob #obviously in the end you get back together and have 98 more kids 🙄 #but the journey along the way is RUFF #okay I’m done writing my wrist hurts lol #bakugou treats! 🍬 #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #dad bkg

[padfootastic]

my sirius & harry thought of the day:

harry kept that firebolt alive for all 137 years of his remaining life through sheer willpower and magical strength. he did not let a single twig of it die off. not only was he absolutely unhinged about taking care of it, not letting anyone near it after 5th year, but he also basically single-handedly reinvented the field of broom-crafting just so he could keep his godfather’s gift to him alive. he didn’t do anything with this skill, basically driving everywhere who knew him spare bc !!! ‘harry do u know what u just did? most brooms don’t last over 6-7 years, not even a fraction of that if used at the pace and frequency as u. if u could just—‘

and he just flat out shuts them up bc how does he tell them that the reason his firebolt is still alive is bc sirius’ love runs thru it and harry would die himself before he let it bc he can’t lose the last piece of sirius he has left. he cannot perform this miracle on any other broom, tho he can probably make the single best non-sirius-gifted broom that the WW has ever seen just bc of how extensive his knowledge is now

and the thing, right, is he doesn’t keep the firebolt locked up in some display like some artefact. sirius would’ve never wanted that. his dad would’ve hated it. brooms were meant to be flown. so fly, he does. wonderfully. it’s forever his primary broom and he puts it thru all the paces, keeping up with all sorts of newer, flashier, pro models w utter ease.

it’s like this: when he uses this firebolt, it feels like perhaps he has his godfather back for just a second. and harry is forever weak to that feeling.

#sirius black #harry potter #good godfather sirius black #haven’t been here in a. while huh #s&h my beloved <3 #there’s just something. about sirius gifting harry his first and last broom. #that makes me go feral #i need harry to be unhealthily attached to his broom #it’s a problem. like a legit mental health one #but he doesn’t know how to move on from it #he spends hours polishing that thing and grooming the bristles or stuff #or wtv* #the only other person who got to touch it was james sirius #for obvious reasons #never w/o supervision tho harry is not that hinged yet #or ever #his kids know this is one line they cannot cross w their father #not bc he gets angry. but bc he gets unbearably sad #and they all know about papa sirius #this hc is becoming yet another rabbit hole so i’m gonna pull the breaks #but this is yet again making me realise how much i love next gen #the potter babies are just!!! #and dad harry is lovely #ok yah that’s it #pen’s notes

[frownyalfred]

I love writing, but these days I swear to God I wake up every morning to another rude ask, someone rewriting my story in the literal comments of my fic, or shady public bookmarks deriding my update schedule.

Y’all. Being mean to authors doesn’t make you interesting. It makes you an asshole, and it makes the authors sad :(

#rant #sorry I’m just #sooooo not into it #why is it getting worse rn #on here and on ao3 #I’m fine I’m just not into it #I like writing but sometimes it feels like those mean comments and shady tags etc drown out all the compliments #I just keep getting angry and then I get sad and second guess my writing #trying to thought challenge lol #writing #writing things #personal #myfic #theresurrectionist #just writing things #I guess :( #fandom #ao3 #archive of our own

[ghost-bxrd]

incredibly lame of someone to go “making Talia do bad things in your hc is racist and misogynistic”

LET WOMEN BE EVIL AND HAVE FUN SOMETIMES (ik it’s more nuanced than that but those tags were just so insane and funny to me)

(Also hi I love your writing everytime I see it pop up on my dash I get excited)

Yeah I mean— it’s not even a headcanon it’s literally just a PROMPT 😭 and until now I’ve pretty much only ever written Good!Talia so I wanted to switch it up a bit 😂

Oof, but I’m really happy most of you guys enjoy my prompts and know not to over interpret them 💚

And thank you! I’m really happy you enjoy my writing 💚💚💚

#ngl I might now have to make THAT prompt into a whole ass fic #just to be contrary #I’m petty like that ksksks #but I’m so glad to have someone in my corner #I was literally so sad at first that someone attacked me like that #and then I got angry 😂

[sampilled]

Seeing peoples takes about sam leaving for Stanford will never fail to raise my blood pressure

HE DIDNT WANNA BE NO CONTACT. HE DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE HIS FAMILY. HE DIDNT WANT TO “ABANDON” THEM.

He wanted John to understand and to support him and to not be a freak for once and to feel safe.

Like the idea that he was the one who cut contact is, not only fucking stupid, but also just textually untrue. John shut that door, not him and it’s very much implied that Dean followed suit with John in cutting him off. (They say this in johns journal but I don’t consider it fully canon so)

and like the idea that deans "end goal" was for Sam to “get out” and “live a better life” or even that dean put the idea of going to college in sam head(a take I just saw) is contradicted in canon where dean, in a very vulnerable moment, admits that all he wants is for them (Sam, John and Dean) to be a family again.

And in “drag me away (from you)”. We see dean actively discourage sam from looking into college.

Like I just don’t get the idea that Dean protected sam from the life. Protected sam *in* the life. Yeah absolutely. He kept it from sam til he was old enough to understand. Didn’t want him to start going on hunts til he was physically capable. Probably always had his back on hunts and made sure he didn’t get hurt. Yep all true but he wanted sam hunting.

I just believe dean wanted him to stay because Sam made him feel safe. he was his one safe haven in his life and I really do feel for him that sam left and he no longer had that person in his life who made things feel better but girlll thats not on sam. sam getting literally disowned was not him abandoning dean and personally im sick of hearing people say that it was

#I just think it’s so obvious that Sam wanted to stay in contact when he left so when he gets blamed for it I get sad 😞 #I don’t know why it makes me so angry #they are literally not real #but like saying that Sam cut contact makes me so angry cuz it just isn’t true. #they tell us exactly who made that decision in the show #this probably doesn’t make sense so I’m not gonna tag it or anything. it’s just a little rant 🥺🥺🥺

[fakeoutbf]

five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety

#walk with me #this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere #the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad #count on the person** #i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them #in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other #it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time #idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too #so we’ve been more properly friends lately #and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to #gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it #and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention #(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention) #anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all #weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone #so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever #and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more #and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted #they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture #and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek #i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on #bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other #flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc #i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed #but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers #and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious?????? #your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up??? #if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right??? #so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend #delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something

[figofswords]

they are currently tear gassing my former classmates four blocks from my apartment. the encampment was there for literally like two hours and as soon as the sun set state troopers in riot gear moved in and started tear gassing and arresting people on the grounds of “unlawful assembly”, in a public park on a public campus of the university these students pay to attend, that I paid to attend not even a year ago. I’ve been getting university alert texts calling it a “violent protest” because a handful of students threw water bottles at these cops in their riot gear, and because they don’t need a real reason to arrest you, and because they can say whatever they want and do whatever they want and get away with it. they’ve been setting off the emergency sirens periodically, a thing I’ve only heard them do before in the event of an active tornado. there are ALWAYS christian fundamentalists on campus harassing students with megaphones, but we can’t doing anything about that. there’s breaking and entering and violent crime and sexual assault all the time but we can’t do anything about that. a kid died from hazing two years ago. multiple students have died from being hit by cars in the last few years but we don’t have traffic cops helping regulate things. but I’m just saying things we already know: the cops aren’t here for us. they’re here to uphold fascism. the university isn’t here for us. the government isn’t here for us. no one in my generation will be able to afford a house since there’s no money to excuse student debt or fix the economy, but somehow there’s money for more cops, more tear gas, and more weapons to fund israel’s genocide. I’m not at the encampment because I’m a coward and my fear of getting tasered is stronger than my desire to help. but god I’m so fucking angry.

#I feel so trapped in this stupid country everything gets worse and nothing gets better #and it feels like there’s nothing we can fucking do about it #and I know this is NOTHING compared to what’s happening in Gaza. I know that and I’m angry about that too #that it’s being done in my name that it’s being done at all that the Jewish community I thought o could trust is DEFENDING IT #I’m angry. I’m just. I’m really angry about everything #and I’m tired and I’m sad and i still have to go to work and smile and pretend everything is fine #everything IS NOT FINE. THE WORLD IS FALLING APART #ALL THEY FUCKING TALK ABOUT IS BUILDING A BRIGHT FUTURE FOR THE CHILDREN #WELL! THE CHILDREN ARE GROWN NOW AND VOICING OPINIONS AND YOURE TEAR GASSING US FOR IT!

[weirdcursedvaultkid]

since merula likes thoughtful gifts I’d like to share my hc that merulas develops a lil baby crush on mc ever since the Christmas sq where mc gifts she the song book

#and it goes downhill from there #I’m just imagining sad angry baby merula spending yet another Xmas alone her parents are in prison #her aunt doesn’t give her the time of day #she has no one to go home to #she doesn’t rly have friends bc well. she’s mean #and so she’s just studying she doesn’t care about this dumb holiday anyways #but she sees mc and their friends having a nice time and there’s a part of her that wants that 😔 #and then mc surprises her with a gift and it’s a songbook bc she likes to sing and it reminds her of her mother #it’s so thoughtful and nice and she can’t believe mc is being nice to her when she’s been terrible to them #and it’s like the first time in a while someone has truly paid attention to her and has seen her #and the lil baby crush starts from there and grows over time she’s doomed #she doesn’t know how to deal with it so she just gets MCs attention in the best way she knows how by bullying them lmao #aaaaand she’s prob in denial for a bit #ok I’m done #I wrote a whole fic in the tags #mella speaks

[whydoifeelthisquiet]

1️⃣3️⃣

#abby doesnt shut up #being a swiftie rn is incredibly conflicting #like I have all this love for someone who is dating someone with so much hate for ppl like me & ppl I love #and we’ve been waiting so long for this tour #and cool things are happening #and then he’s there and taylor supports him #so how do u even have fun anymore #then you feel shitty for going to tour at all even though it’s your dream #and you think about how all of her promises and morals have flown out the window #then you’re like oh great this is my only safe space and I’m mad but cannot leave #and then I love her #and then she doesn’t speak out #and then she’s pictured with that monster #then I want to protect her from the tiktokers stalking her #then I’m sad again #and I say this just being disabled. I cannot imagine how other marginalized swifties feel. #so please just be gentle with everyone rn. this is not cut & dry and ppl are allowed to feel multiple things at once. #if I see you yelling at marginalized fans for going to tour it’s ON SIGHT. they shouldn’t have to bear this burden and lead the way by - #-giving up their tickets. we all still love her and that’s why we’re angry.

[darlin-djarin]

“you guys need to stop mischaracterizing din!! in season 3 he-“

bro. bro. listen. season 3 doesn’t exist. it’s not canon, you’re crazy. you’re insane. everything that happened there has mischaracterized din and frankly everyone else. i don’t care if din isn’t a constant worrier of grogu this season, he WAS in the first two seasons and that’s what i’m going with. i don’t care if din was acting a little silly and had shitty dialogue and dad jokes this season, his silence spoke volumes in the first two seasons. i don’t care if din doesn’t want the darksaber, but the whole build up of the first two seasons was him getting it so we should’ve had more development into WHY he doesn’t want it.

y’all need to stop defending lucasfilms and stop acting like what you’re watching is good or even decent. it’s a billion dollar company, we’re allowed to ask for better. just because there were little things that were cool does not justify the awful plot line (that doesn’t even exist at this point) and the awful dialogue and awful mischaracterization. they’re ruining the characters and they literally admitted that they don’t have an end goal that they’re trying to achieve.

that’s not din anymore, y’all should realize this. that’s not how din acts and that’s not how he speaks. him being reckless was always there, but don’t think for a second that din doesn’t always worry or care for grogu. don’t think din would willingly put harm in grogu’s way. din KNOWS grogu can handle himself, but he also knows that grogu is a baby that has had a traumatizing past and he still cares deeply.

any behavior of din’s (or anyone else’s) in season 3 should be examined and tried to be characterized correctly. think, WOULD din act like that? and don’t go “well it’s what the creators of the show wanted so-“ just stop. stop trying to defend them. a lot of the characterization they’ve done for him in the first two seasons is being undone in the third, and it’s sad to see. we’re allowed to ask for better. we’re allowed to not like things.

#also with bo katan too she seems kind of a wimp this season #no hate to your girl but in the clone wars she was angry and full of rage #and no shade to katee or anything but bo katan barely looks mad this season. no resting bitch face or nothin #it’s sad. it’s just sad. #whenever i write fics i’m like “yeah din would act like this” and then i come on here and see the fandom like #“stop making din act like —!! in season three he —“ like girl #stop #star wars #the mandalorian #din djarin #oil.

[queenqunari]

Has anyone figured out what to do with the undying rage that lives just beneath the surface? Like the fury that you constantly need to be pushing down because you know unleashing it onto others is cruel? But if you never let it out the build up causes you to explode on some unsuspecting bystander?

#after years of therapy I’ve learned I’m a very angry person #I used to just be sad all the time but now I’m just #so angry #I feel wronged so easily and I hate being mean so I try to never let people see how angry I am #but eventually I just blow up at someone for a relatively minor offense #like what’s a healthy way to get it out of your system? #and don’t say working out #running just makes me angrier because it fucking. blows #is it art? should I be making angry and viable art? #journaling? #people always talk about how to deal with the sad part of mental illnesses but like #what about the true bitches and bastards of the world #what do we have to do to cope?

[aquarterasian]

Every time I think about hugtto I get so upset because it had so much potential but they went and ruined it by making so many bad writing choices and I just wanna scream like. George going back in time and doing everything he did to try to prevent his wife’s untimely death. Ok, I can get behind that it’s an interesting motivation and makes him a little bit sympathetic. The wife being Hana??????????? Literally why. why was that necessary, and the fact that it was implied that they ended up together at the end of the series despite the fact that they showed that the George from Hana’s tl was already an adult while Hana was in middle school like, ick. Also homares crush on harry, like I genuinely think that could have been interesting had they done it right but they didn’t. At All. They focused on that more than her ice skating and harry never even flat out said no to her. Also I have no idea how old hagumi was originally but she definitely didn’t look like an adult so why was harry in love with her 🙃 and don’t get me wrong I love saaya but she was a forgettable character. Like Emiru and Lulu’s friendship was so sweet and I genuinely love that part of the show, but tbh the part I enjoyed the most was henri and masatos relationship like imo they were the best part of the show and when the side characters have a more interesting and cohesive story than the main characters, you’re doing something wrong

#precure #pretty cure #I’m sorry hugtto makes me so angry bc I genuinely love all the girls but their potential was wasted 😭 #I remember when it was airing there were people saying it was one of the best seasons like be so fr #like there were things I genuinely enjoyed and plots that were done well but the negatives just outweighs the positives for me in this case #and it makes me so sad

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups #and the later regrets of the parties involved #anyway. tell me not to text her #it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength #she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life #and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever #going to get back #and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔 #the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that #really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you #felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way #instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’ #and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out #so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃 #i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least #we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she #like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have #said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc. #it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me #and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person… #caseyposting

[shalpilot]

.

#okay. observations about my mental state. #well first off it is bad #second off i feel like every emotion i feel is it’s own piece of me #with no overlap #when I am miserable that’s all i am and it feels like there’s no respite from that #when i’m happy i’m manic and overly energetic and i cling to it bc i know eventually i’ll be back to being sad and depressed #and recent update. the anger patch #maybe i want to believe these are all different personas or whatever (NOT SAYING THAT!! being so clear right now i do not believe that #it’s just what the experience feels like.) #but yeah i don’t want to think that the person i am when i’m angry is me #because it’s such an awful bitter feeling #and like i know i’m allowed to be mad #and given the shit i’m putting up with i mean who wouldn’t be #but it makes me so fucking unpleasant and i can FEEL that #just that directionless anger #and i feel like i can only condemn it after the fact in the moment I feel powerless to stop those feelings #uggghhh #anyways art imitates life or whatever

[h4bit]

i reread some stuff i wrote when i was younger. god, being fifteen was the scariest time of my life

#02 #i was angry and sad and so confused about desire and lust and love that i just squashed it all in the name of rationale #i’m amazed that i made it out of that year alive #but i wish i had some of that ferocity still #i feel like mellowing out was good because that kind of brain activity was not sustainable but i still want it back #i cared so deeply and that was something i didn’t realize to be good back then

[switchytransboy]

everybody fucking leaves

#crying rn trying not to wake halo #that friend i had a gut feeling about it was over w #it is #i was right #just got dropped #all bc i chose to hear a potential SA victims side #over my friends friend who i don’t know well at all #when this story was brought to me #not to mention the victim is trans #so there’s sm to this #but none of this is my fucking fault #i just try and do the right things #support people who need it #this is no friend tbh if i can be dumped like this #over literally me trying to do the morally correct thing?? #and NOT silence potential victims?? #like wtf #WTFFFFF #i’m so sad and angry and hurt