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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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YYH Recaps: Episode 1, Surprised to be Dead

Hello, all you hypothetical readers! It's a beautiful spring day and I have a free afternoon ahead of me, so what better time to start another massive project while I guilty stuff my other WIPs deep into the depths of my hard drive? Yeah. Iffy life choices aside, someone mentioned a few weeks back that they'd love for me to recap a show I have more positive things to say about than negative (RIP RWBY) and ever since Netflix announced that their live-action adaptation of Yu Yu Hakusho is in the works, I've been itching for a re-watch of the anime. With the RWBY hiatus underway, it seemed like the perfect time to fulfill both desires.

Before we begin though, I'd like to touch on a few things that are going to influence this project.

First, YYH is near and dear to my heart. Written by Yoshihiro Togashi in the early 1990s and later adapted for an American audience by Funimation, I had the pleasure of experiencing this story five different ways: as a serialized tale in Shonen Jump, a binge read when I had the money to buy the manga, tiny snippets of the anime on Adult Swim late at night — don't tell my parents ;) — as an after-school treat on Toonami, and then years later as a re-watch when I introduced it to a friend (who, in turn, blessed me by having us watch Fullmetal Alchemist next). I used to keep a Hiei bookmark in everything I was reading, the spirit gun made it into our witch-wolf-space adventures on the playground (middle school was wild), and there was a long period of my life where I tried very hard to teach myself to stand with my hands behind my back, precisely as Genkai does. Spoiler alert: I failed. So to say I love the series is... a little bit of an understatement. I bring this up simply as a way of demonstrating that there's more than a bit of nostalgia attached to YYH for me and that will inevitably cloud my reading of it. How can it not? So that's just something to keep in mind as I work through a series that, like any having hit its 30th birthday, has its outdated, flawed, and other questionable aspects.

Second, but very much connected to the first point, is that these are pretty casual recaps. I summarize and extrapolate, focusing primarily on plot and dialogue (but with the occasional cinematography aspect tossed in). I'm not conducting research on the cultural history here — something that will come up at least once in this episode — I'm not arguing an overarching thesis, and I've never been someone who focuses on the author/production/trivia of a series. I'm here for the story as the story is presented to the viewer. If you've read my RWBY Recaps, this will function precisely the same way, with the only difference being I'm engaging with a finished text as opposed to an ongoing one, so there’s a lot less, “Maybe ___ will happen” theorizing going on.

Third, I obviously recommend that you watch the show yourself (you can find it on YouTube!), but you don't have to know the series to follow along. As these massive paragraphs attest, I tend to be both detailed and verbose, so we'll be covering every major plot point — and most of the smaller ones too.

Finally, I'm working from the dub. I know, I know, the horror. But it's what I grew up on and, honestly, I think it's superior to the sub. YYH's dubbing is in a class all its own and to this day there are very few shows that compare to it. Trust me, it's a good call.

That's enough of the boring chit-chat though. Let's get started!

Our very first episode "Surprised to be Dead" opens on a crowded street. We see lots of traffic, people going about their business, and a pedestrian crossing sign that, crucially, turns red. This is our normality and, like in every genre story, you need to break that normality at some point so that the protagonists can go on their fantastical/supernatural/science fiction journey. YYH eases us into things by first breaking the normality of an everyday afternoon: there's a screech of tires, quick shots of a man pushing a child out of the way of an oncoming car, and then his back is hitting the windshield. We begin this story with a horrible — but otherwise mundane — car crash.

Now, these flashes alone have a fair bit to unpack. Despite later getting a brief shot of the man's scared face right before he's hit, the moment's focus is really on the child. He's the one foregrounded in the initial, slow-mo shot. He's the one who appears in color while the man is kept in shadow. This isn't just a hit, it's a rescue. The camera is also careful to follow the soccer ball this kid was playing with (more on that later in the episode), with it flying through the air as the man is hit and bouncing to a stop in the street, acting as the dramatic finish. It's childhood! It's innocence! It's play on a sunny afternoon! And it's all gone wrong.

This moment is chaotic and even a bit confusing. Not in the sense of what's happening — that is quite obviously a guy being hit by a car — but who the victims are, how precisely this came about, or even why we're meant to care about this beyond a generic capacity to feel for other human (fictional) beings... that's all removed. And it works. As the crash takes place, the camera pans across the stunned crowd and we, the viewer, become a part of that crowd. They don't know what precisely is going on either. We're all just horrified onlookers as a sudden tragedy takes place. We're all watching the same show.

So everyone realizes this guy has been hit. People are staring in shock and someone calls for an ambulance. We see the driver fall to his knees in the street, distraught, shakily saying, "I didn't mean to..." It's a very serious and emotional scene that —

— is immediately tempered by this guy waking up, complete with a cute 'pop!' sound effect when he opens his eyes.

This is YYH's brand, this Very Serious Circumstances skillfully interwoven with casual indifference/comedy. It's admittedly far from a unique brand, but it's an excellent choice given that this is the same attitude that will drive 99% of our protagonist's interaction with the world.

Speaking of said protagonist, our guy wakes up, opens his eyes, and realizes that he's floating. There's a great, disorientating shot from his perspective where everything is upside down, causing him to nearly fall out of the air. Well would you look at that, he's as confused as we are. It's our audience surrogate!

A narrator says, "And so it all begins. This boy's name is Yusuke, he's fourteen years old, and he's supposed to be the hero of this story. But oddly enough, he's dead."

Game of Thrones might have made it popular, but YYH did it better.

(Yeah, yeah, I know one death kick-starts the journey and the other is a shocking twist. Just let me have this.)

Now, it's a weird introduction, right? At least at the end. The announcement that change has occurred, a name, an age... that all checks out. But "supposed to be the hero"? What the hell is that “supposed to” mean? Our narrator gives us the easy, surface answer: "But oddly enough, he's dead." We're capitalizing here on the audience's expectation that death ends a character's journey and though they may have been a hero previously, they can no longer be one moving forward. That function within the story has passed. So it's this intriguing question of, "What kind of hero do you have when that hero is dead from the start?" but as we'll see soon, there's an additional meaning here of, "How can Yusuke be the hero?" As this premiere sets up, Yusuke doesn't act like the hero is “supposed to” act.

Until he saved this kid.

But right now he's just confused: "Okay, this is weird. Stupid weird."

Two EMTs arrive on the scene and are hilariously useless. You know how in any medical drama a doctor will stop CPR after a couple of seconds because obviously you're not going to spend half the episode on realism? Well, that's this only a thousand times worse. One guy just looks at the kid and announces he's fine except for some bumps and bruises. Meanwhile, the kid is sobbing.

"Well, at least one of them is," replies the other EMT, because I guess he can tell Yusuke is beyond hope without taking a pulse or anything? "I hate cleanup," he complains as they load his body onto a stretcher because that's? An empathetic response to have??

Honestly this scene is wild.

Yusuke is understandably upset that he's, you know, dead and all. He starts hounding the EMTs who, unable to hear him, just go about their business of taking the kid and his body to the hospital. "You think you can just do whatever you want because you have that stupid uniform on? You can't just write me off. Listen to me!" and Yusuke tries to punch one of the EMTs in the head, resulting in him floating right through.

What a great way to introduce your protagonist's personality. We see here that when things go wrong Yusuke's default emotion is anger and it starts creeping in even before he thinks the others are ignoring him: "Stupid weird." He has problems with authority — "You think you can just do whatever you want because you have that stupid uniform on?" — is used to others listening when he gets angry — "You can't just write me off!" — and is poised to use violence at the slightest provocation. Yusuke is a guy who, right now at least, is ready to punch first and ask questions later.

As Yusuke floats back up into the air and the ambulance drives away, he finally cools down enough to try and think his way out of this. "It's not like this is the first time you've been in a jam,” he thinks. Yusuke recalls that yeah, something was different about today...

...he actually went to school.

Catch me laughing that this idiot boy equates the weirdness of him dying with going to school. Good lord.

Anyway, this jumpstarts our flashback. We open on a generic, anime middle school (that always feels like a high school to me) where the principal is calling for Yusuke through the loud speaker. Oooo someone’s in trouble! We follow a young girl up to the rooftop and she gets a classic hair-blowing-in-the-wind moment to establish that she's our love interest. Meet Keiko Yukimura.

Keiko finds Yusuke hanging out and immediately starts lecturing him for trying to chew gum and refusing to wear the boys' uniform. "Oh, give me a break, Keiko. I look better in green." Note that it's here we learn her name and it's an easy, casual way to introduce it. I bring this up because Yusuke's introduction via our narrator is very much... not that. It's an on your nose statement about his name, age, and importance to the story, and if you're just starting the show in 2021, it might come across as a rather armature move. Like something out of a kid's show, perhaps. Yet here we see that this was a deliberate choice, considering that YYH is capable of introducing character information naturally when it wants to.

This moment also tells us that Yusuke cares a great deal about his image. More on that in a bit. Because Keiko isn't finished her list of grievances yet, going on to say that his attendance record has hurt their entire class, hurt her as class representative, and if he keeps going down this path he won't even graduate middle school. "Sometimes I think you don't care about anyone but yourself and then you don't even do that right!"

They're legit complaints. Too bad Yusuke is busy looking up Keiko's skirt.

Yeeeeah. Sadly, this is common for anime, particularly a 90s anime like YYH. Even presumably more progressive series like My Hero Academia feature characters like Mineta, whose entire personality is being a pervert, and the creation of abilities that "require" kids/young women to be scantily clad. See: Yaoyorozu. YYH is no different in this regard, with various forms of sexual harassment functioning as a shorthand for how much Yusuke secretly likes Keiko. "Boys will be boys," right? Obviously not.

Like so many others series, the creators get away with it because they’re framing it as a bad thing. It's totally fine because look, Keiko slaps him! This is teaching the viewer how wrong this behavior is. Never mind that this is clearly an established habit between them, that Yusuke laughs off Keiko's discomfort, and that the whole scene is meant to be funny for the viewer. That's the real purpose here; it’s not a PSA on harassment.

That, and to establish the long-suffering love Keiko has for Yusuke in turn, largely stemming from a life-long friendship. "Dumb boy! He hasn't grown up a bit since he was four years old." We see that Keiko's early interactions with Yusuke have given her insight that others lack. As she heads down from the roof she runs into two girls hiding around the corner, too scared to come out lest "the great Urameshi" set his sights on them. Isn't Keiko terrified of what he might do to her? "Or worse, what others might say of it?" Like any classic high school middle school setting, one's reputation is king. Yusuke cares about how others see him — maintaining that tough boy attitude — and the girls care more about what the rest of the school might think of Keiko's interactions with him than the presumed harm Yusuke could do to her. They heard he can summon 2,000 men with just a whistle and that he "kills for fun!" But that means nothing in the face of people talking about you. Despite being one of the most popular girls in school, Keiko is the outsider here via her disinterest in what other people think.

The animation changes here, giving us a good look at how the girls picture Yusuke: tough, scowling, surrounded by shadows, and backed by an entire army.

In contrast, we've already seen what Yusuke is really like.

Keiko laughs the image off too. Yusuke is more like a "lamb" than a killer and besides, he couldn't order around two people, let alone two hundred. "He doesn't have many friends."

"That's not what I heard," says one of the girls.

"Yeah," goes the other. "I think we would know."

Again, rumors rule here, with whispers in the hall considered more reliable than someone who interacts with Yusuke on a daily basis. Keiko doesn’t have a hope of changing their minds.

Oh, as a side note, I love that they gave Keiko Miyazaki-esque hair. It's very emotive.

Yusuke escapes outside where the principal is still calling for him to report to his office. He overhears a conversation around the corner and we cut to two boys, one of which is showing a wallet off to the other. He explains that some bully tried to rough him up, but he said he was Urameshi's cousin and the bully took off, dropping his wallet in the process. The guy's friend is impressed, but what is he going to do if Yusuke ever finds out he lied? Not to worry, he says, that "blockhead" would probably think it's true even if he did somehow hear.

Yusuke, obviously, does hear about this and he, also obviously, does not believe this guy is his cousin. He looms ominously and they scurry up against a wall, terrified and offering him the wallet as an apology.

"You think I want your money?" Yusuke yells.

YYH is, in many respects, a rather simple story, but I appreciate the hints of complexity in these otherwise straightforward interactions. It's not that this guy used Yusuke's name to steal a wallet, he used it as a form of protection against another bully — a far more sympathetic motivation. It's not that Yusuke's fearsome reputation has resulted in any genuine respect because once people think they're safe they reveal how little they think of his intelligence — he's a "blockhead." And Yusuke, though intimidating and violent, is not your average, schoolyard bully. He doesn't care about money, only the insult and the damage this guy using his name might have done to his reputation. There's a little more nuance here than you might otherwise expect.

Also, note how dark the boys' standard uniforms are and how much they blend into the rest of the world. Yusuke, as our protagonist, stands out in his bright clothing. He was right, he does look better in green!

So he's ready to clobber this kid when one of the teachers arrive: Mr. Iwamoto.

Iwamoto demands to know what's going on, but the boys are too terrified to rat Yusuke out. Noticing the wallet on the ground, he assumes that Yusuke was after their money, something that greatly offends him: "Whatever!" Iwamoto goes on to say that, "No good weeds like you should have been plucked a long time ago," making it clear that he considers Yusuke a hopeless case. The positive aspects that Keiko sees, as well as the complexity the viewer sees — to say nothing of his introduction of saving a kid — aren’t considered here.

Notably, Iwamoto exists in part to show us what Yusuke could become. Not a teacher (he's obviously not attending school enough for that!), but a cynical man who is cruel for cruelty's sake. Yusuke is already barreling down that path, ignoring Keiko's advice, terrorizing other students, trying to punch EMTs, etc. If his life (or afterlife...) hadn't changed through that accident, this is the kind of person Yusuke might have grown up to be, and we can see that clearly in the visual parallels between them. Dark haired men dressed in green who scowl with ease and toss out cutting insults. Yusuke is staring his future in the face.

For now he walks off with a final shot, "You shouldn't talk. It makes you sound stupid." This time Yusuke makes it to the school's entrance and tries to enjoy his second attempt at chewing gum, but someone hits him in the back of the head.

"Okay, somebody's DEAD — ah. Sorry, old man."

"That's Mr. Takenaka to you."

Our principal has finally left the office and hunted down Yusuke for himself! Putting this interaction immediately after the one with Iwamoto allows the viewer to compare them. Yusuke might be irreverent towards his principal, but it's clear there's still some kind of respect between them. Yusuke only starts threatening because he doesn’t realize who hit him and once he does realize it's Takenaka, he immediately apologizes. That "old man" comes across as a teasing insult and Yusuke allows himself to be briefly dragged back towards school, rather than throwing a now classic punch. In turn, Takenaka cares enough about Yusuke to try and keep him on the straight and narrow. He utilizes Yusuke's preferred language — violence — but in a casual way, nonthreatening way: slight hit to the back of his head, noogie, pulling him along by the ear.

It's the sort of physicality we're used to seeing in media between a parent and child who are outwardly antagonistic, but actually share a deep bond. Takenaka is also careful to frame their return to his office as a "discussion," not a punishment, and offers Yusuke tea along with the conversation. Whereas Iwamoto considers Yusuke to be a "weed" that should have been plucked from their school long ago, Takenaka is determined to help Yusuke bloom.

If we're continuing the flower metaphor :D

Yusuke isn't in the mood to play along though. He gets away by using a fake ear, startling Takenaka when it unexpectedly pulls free. Yusuke escapes the school grounds and Takenaka, suffering a back twinge from his fall, can't chase after him. Poor guy. I understand that pain lol.

Yusuke heads home where we're introduced to his mother, Atsuko. Most notable in her first shot is the soft lighting that highlights her looks. We're not told how old she is here, but I believe she's around 28 — and she looks it, if not younger. Given that Yusuke is 14, that means Atsuko was a mom at his age. This is a quick and subtle way to tell us about Yusuke's home life. There are more overt details in this scene — it's at least lunchtime and Atsuko hasn't left her bed yet, she demands that Yusuke make her coffee instead of greeting him, it's all meant to imply (before we actually see) that she's an alcoholic — but her age is another way to highlight the broken household here. There's no partner in sight and she clearly had Yusuke as a teenager. He hasn't had a strong parental figure to take care of him. If anything, Yusuke is taking care of Atsuko here.

"Oh great, mother of the year!" basically sums things up.

Atsuko wants to know why Yusuke isn't in school and he says that everyone is pissing him off today, particularly with their preaching. "Dear, if you hate preaching so much you should live on your own... but you can't do that, can you?" Alongside a rough upbringing, Yusuke is suffering from the common problem of being trapped in a dead-end life. He hates his school, his town, and coming home to find his mom hungover. Yusuke has no prospects and, outside of one principal, no one who is actively working to help him find some. Even the little things he hates, like being preached to, are unavoidable because if you want to live on your own, that requires money. Good luck pulling that off as a middle schooler whose only skill is street fighting!

Yusuke walks off in a huff, literally shouting in a street about what a bad day he's having (and hilariously scaring off pedestrians in the process). His shout brings trouble though. A couple guys appear to ambush him, their boss close behind. The music increases the tension, Yusuke's expression is serious, and we even get a Dutch angle thrown into the mix.

For any who don't know, the Dutch angle is a popular film technique to establish that something is wrong. There's tension in the scene, something uneasy is at play, and the world is now literally off center. It's perhaps most famously used in Do The Right Thing to establish the friction between an Italian-American pizzeria and the predominantly African American neighborhood it's based in.

But it's also used a great deal in horror as a way to say: yup, shit just got real. Scary real.

This Dutch angle introduces a character you may not appreciate at first, but absolutely should: Kazuma Kuwabara.

He's initially the comic relief and that's clear in his introduction. Within seconds we move from that intimidating arrival to, well, seeing him. To be clear, I've got nothing against redheads with big chins, but compared to Yusuke's design, Kuwabara is meant to be the funny looking one. His threat level plummets the moment we get a look at his face, especially in a series that will occasionally use looks as a (supposed) measure of intelligence.

Also, Kuwabara is dressed in light blue so, like Yusuke, we know he's important!

Any assumptions that his appearance isn’t meant to imply a goofy, embarrassing personality are put to rest when Kuwabara starts rambling about how they last time they fought Yusuke just got a cheap shot in and he'll definitely win this time. Yeah, he won't. Yusuke is thrilled by this diversion though and we get a shot of him looking almost as creepy as Keiko's friends think he is. Whatever else might be said about Yusuke, he is absolutely a monster in a fight.

Which we see here. If anyone picked up the series without knowing this was a fighting anime, they'll realize it now. Yusuke's choreography is stylized to show off his skill: he disappears with a 'whoosh' and dark lines to suggest inhuman speed,

attacking Kuwabara with a knee to the face, utilizes flying kicks, lands perfect, precision punches, and ends it all with the toe-tip landing we've come to expect of all powerful fighters. Kuwabara never even got a hit in.

Happy as a clam now, Yusuke wanders off whistling and Kuwabara's friends are left to pick up the pieces. AKA, his likely broken bones. I love that they're legit friends though and not just nameless goons for the sake of giving Kuwabara a small gang (though their names won't come up until later). "That makes 0 wins an 156 loses!" one of them cries, trying to get Kuwabara to stop ending up in the hospital, probably. We establish that Kuwabara is The Most Dramatic Ever when he pulls his broken body into a seated position, shouting, "No! I almost had him that time!"

Then he passes out.

Kuwabara, honey, you obviously did not almost have him, but god bless you for the outlook. The most optimistic thing on this Earth is a well-loved Golden Retriever, but Kuwabara comes in at a very close second.

With his dream to one day beat Yusuke in combat established, we cut to Yusuke wandering the street where the episode opened. "Okay, I'm remembering" he says in a voiceover. "After that I met the kid."

The soccer ball reappears as it rolls to a stop at Yusuke's feet. He grabs it and immediately starts yelling at the kid. Horrible protagonist, right? Well, Yusuke is trying to instill in him the danger of using this street as a playground, a worry the viewer already knows is 100% justified. “Listen, kid, that’s dangerous! There are cars going by that will splatter you into the pavement!” It's one of those quick moments where we get to enjoy Yusuke's duality: he's someone who is nearly making a toddler cry, but for rather understandable reasons. He's got the right idea, but needs to go about it in a more mature manner.

Which is precisely what he attempts to do. Sort of. Yusuke changes gears, though whether it's a more "mature" route is certainly up for debate lol. He tries entertaining the kid instead, raising and lowering the soccer ball to reveal goofy faces.

When these fail to impress, Yusuke goes full out by stuffing the ball into his pants, pushing his nose up with a pair of chopsticks he got from god knows where, and generally just putting on a display.

So Yusuke cares very deeply about his reputation... but only when it comes to those who are an established part of his life. Keiko, Mr. Takenaka, and the other kids at school all need to maintain a particular image of Yusuke, one that he's carefully cultivated. But random pedestrians on the street? Who cares about them? Let them talk.

This shows us that Yusuke does indeed have priorities over his own, selfish goals. Namely, the happiness of some kid is more important to him than looking "cool" for a bunch of strangers. Lots of characters with Yusuke's surface attitude would sneer at the idea of degrading themselves for — their words — some brat. But Yusuke, as we constantly see, actually does have that heart of gold. “Well, if all else fails I can still make kids happy.”

Although... I'm not sure what to make of his display itself. I have the distinct sense that there's something prejudiced here that I'm not able to fully articulate, what with the chopsticks, slanted eyes, bald head, and the like, though to be entirely frank I don't have enough knowledge of Japan's history to say precisely what it might be. Or, really, whether it exists at all. Just something to chew on.

What I am sure about though is the importance of having the child label Yusuke as monster — "Yeah, monster! — but in a delighted manner. Yusuke is indeed some kind a monster, someone who disappoints adults and terrifies his classmates, a demon fighter on the streets too, but here that identity is reworked into something positive.

Having successful secured a laugh, Yusuke tells the kid — calmly this time — to go play elsewhere. The toddler stares up at him with the blank expression only kids can manage.

Well, kids and whatever headspace I'm in after writing these metas.

To absolutely no one's surprise except Yusuke's, the kid does not go elsewhere. Instead, he continues kicking the ball down the street, causing Yusuke to exclaim, “Dammit, what’s the use? The kid can get smashed by a car for all I care!” Liar, liar.

The picture becomes desaturated as the kid kicks the ball and it flies into the street, time slowing down to show it landing precisely in the middle of the road. Yusuke again yells for him to stay put, but when has a toddler ever listened? He begins to walk into the road as our driver arrives, speeding, swerving, and paying more attention to the girl at his side than what's in front of him.

This time, we see the accident from the front with both Yusuke and the kid presented equally.

There's a cut to black and when we return we're in the present, Yusuke floating above the policemen now investigating the scene. “So that’s it? I’m roadkill?” As Yusuke realizes he's dead, specifically that he's a ghost, a voice goes,

"Bingo! Bingo! You win the prize!"

A woman has appeared who is quite obviously othered by the standards of the episode so far. Unlike the greens, blues, and browns of the series' modern clothes, she's dressed in hot pink kimono with blue hair to match. She's also, you know, floating on an oar.

“I didn’t expect you to figure it out so quickly," she says, referring to Yusuke's revelation that he's dead. Apparently, those who meet unexpected and/or violent ends tend to take some time coming to terms with their demise. It's a nice acknowledgment of Yusuke's intelligence in an interaction that's otherwise... not great for his self-esteem.

Meaning, this woman is about to drag him lol.

She introduces herself as Botan, pilot of the River Styx and guider of souls to the afterlife. You might also know her as the Grim Reaper.

(Hey, RWBY fans: I originally wrote that as Grimm Reaper 🤦‍♀️)

It's an claim Yusuke takes issue with because 1. Botan is too pretty to be the Grim Reaper and 2. If she was really some god of death she'd be taking this much more seriously, not laughing and saying, "Bingo!" For the audience this does two things. First, it acknowledges our own expectations and validates them. Yusuke's world isn't so far removed from our own that he takes Botan's looks and personality at face value, he also expected a skeleton with a scythe. So don't worry, all the weird stuff in this series is weird to our protagonist too. They'll be explanations. Or, even if there’s not, you’re not wrong for being surprised.

Second, it sets up the very common theme in YYH of undermining those common assumptions again and again and again. We've already seen it with Yusuke, wherein characters who look and act a certain way are, supposedly, destined to be that person and nothing more. Yusuke is meant to be just a "weed," a dumb, violent, angry loser who goes nowhere in life... but we already know he's more than that. Botan is supposed to be scary and serious, but she says nah, I want to be cute and bubbly instead. No character in YYH embodies who they're "supposed" to be when you look past those surface characterizations. They play the part of archetypes — and do keep certain parts of their expected personalities — but they're also far more well-rounded than that. Which yeah, is something most people expect from any story nowadays, but YYH is particularly adept at making you think you're watching Simple Show A only to turn around and surprise you with More Complex Show B.

It's great, trust me.

So Yusuke is pissed that Botan isn't adhering to those expectations, in the same way that he works hard to validate others expectations of him. He doesn't know how to deal with someone challenging his world view yet. Rather than angering Botan though, she just nods and says that this response makes sense for him. “Rather than being scared, or surprised, you yell a lot and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about." Taking out a notebook, she quickly summarizes everything we learned in the flashback — minus Yusuke's complexities: he's fourteen, in middle school, is ill-tempered, violent, hates authority, and is a horrible student.

Typically, Yusuke responds by getting angry and trying to snatch the booklet out of her hands, only for Botan to pull it out of his reach, laughing. The tables have turned! Rather than being surrounded by people who cower at Yusuke's imposed authority, he now finds himself faced with someone who laughs at his transparent attempts to take control of the situation.

Calming down, Yusuke wants to know if the kid he saved is really alright and Botan offers to let him see for himself. That offer produces Yusuke's first, genuine smile.

They fly to the hospital where a doctor is in the process of giving the kid a clean bill of health, his mother crying with relief.

That's enough for Yusuke. “Alright, Botan, I’ve got no regrets, so you can take me to hell or wherever it is I’m going.”

That tells you all you need to know about Yusuke's self-worth, despite his bad boy attitude. His life is a dead-end as far as he can see and most of those around him haven't done anything to dissuade him of that idea. He says he doesn't care if the kid lives or dies, but then instinctively saves him. Post his death, Yusuke doesn't have anything he considers a regret, or anything he'd like to do before he leaves, like saying goodbye to a loved one. Oh, he's also pretty sure he's going to hell and has resigned himself to that without a fight.

Uplifting!

Botan just laughs though, saying that she's actually here to offer Yusuke an "ordeal" that could bring him back to life. See, he wasn't supposed to die today — let alone die saving a kid — and frankly they don't know what to do with him. It's another neat summary of what we've already learned: Yusuke is a far more complicated case than the afterlife assumed and now, when push comes to shove, deciding whether he belongs in heaven or hell is... muddled.

There's a fantastic story there about the problems with an afterlife that reduces a person's entire life to a few surface characteristics recorded in a book, refusing to acknowledge the context of their situation, or their capacity for change. “Run someone with your credentials a thousand times and they never would have saved a kid like that." Except, of course, Yusuke did save him, so those "credentials" are suspect, to say the least. However, YYH is not a story that explores these issues. Instead, I recommend you watch this!

Rather than being upset at the afterlife's low opinion of him (because let's be real, Yusuke shares it), he latches onto a little detail Botan let slip. If he wasn't supposed to die today... then was the kid?

Mmm... no. Actually, without the chaos of Yusuke jumping into the road, the driver would have swerved at the last second and the kid would have not only lived, but actually come out with one less scrape.

So Yusuke is obviously upset by this news! I would be too!! Holy shit, hang onto the "it's the thought that counts" message with everything you've got.

Also, don't think too much about the fact that the afterlife apparently knows exactly what will happen to people, down to how many cuts they accumulate in an accident. Also, don't think too much about where the afterlife foreseeing the crash begins and the unexpectedness of Yusuke interfering ends. That way lies madness. This will never come up again, so just let it go.

Sorry, 2013 me hijacked the post for a second.

As said, Yusuke is understandably upset by this revelation and as he fumes I'm reminded that this series likes to pull some amazing expressions.

Botan reiterates that it's all fine because Yusuke can come back to life. Weren't you listening? He should feel honored, in fact, considering that an offer like this only arrives every 100 years or so. Well, that explains why all of humanity isn't grappling with people coming back to life on the daily. One person every generation isn't going to cause much of a stir.

However, instead of jumping at the chance Yusuke announces that Botan is just like the teachers at school: she doesn't know what she's talking about. “You said yourself my life was kind of pathetic, right?” he says, going on to explain that everyone will be happier now that he's dead. His school won't have to deal with his behavior, Keiko won't have to nag him, and his mom will be able to party whenever she wants. It's a win-win for everyone involved.

Hmm, this feels familiar.

Don't worry, Yusuke doesn't need to experience a whole alternate reality to get the message.

“I’m sorry you feel that way at such an early age," Botan says and she is sorry, because despite her teasing nature that's a legitimately horrifying thing to believe. Yusuke won't budge though and after a little back-and-forth Botan leaves, telling Yusuke he should think it over while visiting his wake. She'll come back once he decides what to do.

“Do you have worms in your ears, lady? I did decide!” but Botan is long gone.

We cut to that night where Yusuke has indeed decided to attend his own wake. Maybe because of Botan's advice, maybe because he's just morbidly curious. We’re not given insight into the decision.

Atsuko is a mess, to put it mildly, not dressed for the occasion and sitting slumped against the way, staring vacantly as the guests offer their condolences. Yusuke is surprised by the fact that his entire class is here, but quickly writes them off when he sees two of the boys laughing. I'm on the fence about this detail, which I'll unpack in just a second.

First though, Yusuke sees Keiko exiting the house, inconsolable in her grief. She collapses on the ground with her two friends trying to offer comfort, despite the fact that they had nothing good to say about Yusuke himself. Good on them.

Before he can think too long on this though, Yusuke is distracted by Kuwabara's arrival. Unlike Keiko's crying, he expresses his grief through yelling. Specifically, yelling at Yusuke. For dying. For daring to "run away." His own friends are physically holding him back as he charges into the wake, screaming, “Who am I gonna fight now, huh? Who am I gonna fight?" It's not really about the fighting, of course. At least, not the fighting alone. "You’re supposed to be here for me," Kuwabara finishes, the punch he's thrown at Yusuke's photo going limp and catching his first tear.

You know, for all the goofy expressions, this show really is gorgeous. Just wait until we get to the fight animations.

Kuwabara's reaction is why I hesitate to write off the classmates like Yusuke has. Granted, we have no reason to believe that they care for him as Kuwabara does — they're nameless background characters defined only by their terror of "the great Urameshi" — but it's still a split second taken out of context. We don't know what they were laughing at, or if laughing is a part of their grief. God knows I personally laugh at the most inappropriate moments. If you tell me someone has just died there is a very good chance I will laugh awkwardly as I try to process that. It’s just a reflex. All of which I bring up not because these side characters are important, but because Yusuke's perception of his own worth is. The point of each of these moments is to show that those around him have always cared for him, even if Yusuke didn't notice. It's nice to think that extends to his classmates too. The variety likewise exists to show us how people grieve differently, with Kuwabara's friends not understanding that this is how he's working through the trauma: “This place is for mourning!” He is mourning, even if his way of mourning isn't as socially acceptable as Keiko's. So if screaming and throwing punches is valid, crying is valid, staring stoically in a drunk stupor is valid... why not laughter too?

Not likely, perhaps, but possible.

As an additional possibility to chew on, watching this premier again, it struck me how more emotional Kuwabara's scene is compared to Keiko's. Don't get me wrong, crying and calling Yusuke’s name gets the point across, but it's two seconds of generic grief compared to a much longer scene rife with intensity. When Kuwabara arrives the music swells and everyone is forced to pay attention to him. His grief is loud, violent, and given symbolism with his fist and the photo. There's more effort put into his reaction, frankly, so it wouldn't surprise me if fans started shipping them after this. That grief combined with an "enemies to lovers" possibility is a pretty potent mix. To be clear, Yusuke/Keiko is the (oh so obvious) canonical endgame and in the fandom Yusuke/Kuwabara can't compare to another slash ship that will turn up later, but this is a good example of how writers can craft some Very Gay Scenes without realizing it. When you have the girl crying prettily for a second and the guy absolutely losing his mind over Yusuke's death, questioning his purpose now, his support network, and then collapsing in grief... don't be surprised if your audience goes, "Oh hey, maybe they'd be a good couple instead."

But I digress.

The only people who are unquestioningly happy about Yusuke's passing are Mr. Iwamoto and his co-conspirator, Mr. Akashi. You know Akashi is another bad guy because he has bucked teeth and "ugliness" is an easy way to code for evilness. YYH is not immune to those mistakes :/

These two are really something else though, standing in the middle of a wake and claiming it's “too bad that car wasn’t big enough for them too," referring to Kuwabara and his friends. Wow! What stellar members of the academic community. Iwamoto goes on to say that Yusuke dying at least accomplished something good. Not, mind you, saving the life of a child, but rather looking good for their school's reputation. Akashi agrees, but says it's likely Yusuke only accidentally saved him while trying to steal the kid's lunch money. Remember, that accusation of theft is the one thing Yusuke has said outright that he does not do.

He's pissed listening to all this — wouldn't you be? — but knows by now he can't do anything about it. In another fantastic shot, Yusuke hovers his hand over Iwamoto's shoulder, desperate to grab him, when Takenaka's arrives there instead.

“What do you suppose is more disgraceful? That boy showing his misery, or your insensitive and idiotic words!”

HELL YEAH. You tell 'em, Mr. Takenaka.

Yusuke gets his third shock of the night at this passionate defense. Takenaka leaves the teachers to go pay his respects, but admits to Yusuke's picture that he just can't speak well of him. He was surprised to hear that Yusuke gave up his life for another and it's a fact that he acted selfishly. Though he doesn't say it in as many words, Takenaka explains that he's not grieving because Yusuke was a good person, but because it's so clear to him that he might have been. “Why didn’t you stay? You could have made something great out of yourself.”

Normally, "Why didn't you stay?" is just something for the living to grapple with, as the dead obviously don't have any say in what happens to them. But Yusuke does. It's here that the lighting grows soft again and Yusuke considers Takenaka's words. Keiko and Kuwabara grieve for who he was, but Takenaka grieves for who Yusuke could have been — someone that might still exist if Yusuke decides to undergo this ordeal.

Atsuko adds fuel to the emotional fire, breaking down and hiding her face in her knees.

Finally, the kid Yusuke saved arrives with his mother. Because yes, Yusuke saved him in every way that matters, considering no one else knows — or will know — that he'd have lived anyway. I like that the show doesn't allow that knowledge to undermine the emotion of their arrival, or what Yusuke’s act meant to them.

The mom tells her son to pay his respects and the kid thanks Yusuke for saving him, and for "making faces." He clearly doesn't get what's going on here. This is confirmed as the two leave and he asks his mom if he can play with Yusuke again tomorrow. “I know some people sounded angry at him, but he’s really nice!"

They're probably just crying because they want to play with him too, he thinks, which just makes his mom join in. Everyone is crying in this club tonight.

Those words are the cincher for Yusuke and with a brief montage of all the grief he's witnessed, he makes his decision.

We cut to later that night where Yusuke floats above the city, admiring the moon. Botan reappears and he asks, “Have you ever not known about something that seemed obvious to everyone else?” Yes, everyone has experienced that at one point or another. She asks if he's made his decision and Yusuke agrees to try and come back to life.

Emotional revelations out of the way, we're allowed another tone shift as Botan yells with joy, speeding off and causing Yusuke to grab hold of the end of her oar, lest he be left behind. Cranky as always, he demands to know where they're going. "To the spirit world, of course!" They're off to see someone who can explain the ordeal and give Yusuke the tool needed to complete it. Just hang on and enjoy the ride.

Thus ends our very first episode! Ah, the nostalgia. This is part one of a four arc series, with the anime cutting out a lot of the filler stories found at the start of the manga — a smart decision, I think. They primarily do the work of teaching Yusuke what he learned at the wake, so if you can accomplish that as quickly as the adaptation did, all the better. Especially since Yusuke needs to grow a great deal beyond the basic understanding that people might, sort of care for him, and that work will occur primarily through a job he's going to take on. The series isn't really about his death and it's not about an attempt to come back either — it's about what happens once you get that second chance. So this is the setup, but it's important setup all the same.

No need to skip ahead though. I've blathered enough for one recap. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you when the writing gods next bless me with energy! 💜

#YYH #Yu Yu Hakusho #YYH recaps #mymetas

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #434

“i hate this town, it’s so washed up, & all my friends don’t give a fuck / they’ll tell me that it’s just bad luck, when will i find where i fit in?”

You get a text from your ex. He/she wants to hang out. How do you respond? Admittedly, I would. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you secretly want to be more than friends with? No. Well, there are times where I think I WANT to like-like Girt, but I just don't. And yet he's always been there for me without fail, is super funny and kind and chill... but I think we were just friends for too long; he feels like my brother by this point in time. If your partner smoked, would that be a problem for you? If it was cigarettes, yes. Even weed (UNLESS it was for medicinal purposes and not a constant thing) I'd be iffy about. I just don't want to date a smoker. Lung damage is lung damage and weed actually has more carcinogens, and I don't want to sign myself up for all that. I don't want to watch my partner wither away from nonstop smoking and also have myself suffer from second-hand smoking. When will you next see your best friend? There's no telling. Right now I'm trying to be realistic and responsible with the money I DO ever get and put it towards more important investments, but I really do want to take a plane up there at some point. But that's also waiting until Covid is in the past. Heeeell no would I be stepping into an airport right now, even being vaccinated. How many tattoos would you like to have? Too many to count, ha ha. I want LOADS. Paint me, baby. :') Do you like your first name? I actually do. Have you ever talked to a boyfriend about an ex-boyfriend? Yes. It's kind of inevitable when you go into a new relationship, hoping it'll go well and be seriously invested, that you let your partner know "oh hey, this happened and seriously affected me to where I'm going to have 'my days.'" Greatest birthday gift you ever got? My snake Venus was technically a birthday present, though I obviously picked her out. Worst memory you have? Losing Jason. I can't say enough that the night of the breakup still doesn't feel real. First memory you can remember? My brother going down our slide into the Hurricane Floyd flood in our front yard, ha ha. I was around two, I wanna say? I don't feel like looking up the date of the hurricane. Oldest object you own? When did you get it? I'm sure that would be a stuffed animal we have stored away somewhere. Or my baby blanket, also safely tucked away. Meanest person you know? Why do you feel this way? I don't "know" Colleen anymore, but God knows she fit the bill. She was so fucking rude to people (yes, she was one of those people that bitched out store employees that have no control over things that inconvenienced her), the world revolved around her problems, she started drama with the damn grass... It's funny even picturing how she was my best friend once. My standards were lower for who I could befriend back then, but goddamn. Ever been dumped? By who? Yes, Jason. Technically Sara as well, but "dumped" seems like an unfitting term? Like we just talked it out and sorta mutually agreed that it was wiser that we weren't together at the time. Have you ever dumped someone? Why? Yes, mostly because I didn't like-like them. Juan was more so because I believed a rumor by Rachel, and Tyler, I just wasn't invested in and had NO desire to put up with the "we need to talk every five minutes" crap. Where do you buy most of your food? Wal-Mart. Last house you have been to: whose was it, and why were you there? My sister's, for my nephew's birthday party. Have you ever been a drunk driver? No, and fuck you if you've ever put others (and yourself) at risk like that. One kid you cannot stand? None that I know, and that's very few. Has anyone ever saved your life? Jason and Mom literally have. Last thing you cried about? Ha ha, I finished watching another SOMA playthrough earlier, and I will ALWAYS start to cry at the end. Without fail. Would you sacrifice your life for someone else's baby? I honestly think I would if it was a split-second decision. Tell me about your latest dream: I think my APAP mask wasn't positioned well last night, because I had a SHITLOAD of nightmares. Too many to even remember. Have you ever been in a limo? No. I've always wanted to experience that once, man. Have you ever been the maid of honor in a wedding party? No. Has anyone ever seen you naked? I was born naked, my man. Mom used to give my sister and I baths together, and I took a bath with a best friend once as a kid. Then one other person has. Do you have a calendar? If so, what is the theme of it? Not a current one, no. Nicest thing you have ever done for a complete stranger: I have no idea. Meanest thing you have ever done to a complete stranger: *shrug* Have you ever been sent to the principal's office? If so, why? And how did you feel? Yes, I think because they wanted to ask the reason behind all my morning tardies. I was soooo scared, just being a kid. Person you hope you never run into again: Colleen. Have you ever streaked? Heeeeell no. Why do you hate your ex? I don't hate any of them. What animal did you last pet or hold? Roman, my cat. What color is your hair? It's my natural brunette right now. I want to dye it SO badly. Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms? Yeah. Have you ever had to clean a cat box before? Yeah, seeing as I own an indoor cat. Christmas is coming. Who are you buying gifts for? In the hypothetical situation where I had the money, I'd buy things for my parents, my stepmom, my two immediate sisters, Ash's kids, as well as her husband, but only because I'd feel obligated to as he's considered a close member of the family. I'd also totally get something for Sara! When somebody intimidates you, how do you usually act around them? SCARED. I get quiet, stutter if I do talk, and possibly cry. Is your favorite singer in a band or does he or she ride solo? He was originally the singer of Black Sabbath, but he's been solo for forever now. I prefer him solo, honestly. Did your parents ever hang your old artwork up on the walls? Ohhh yes. Mom still does, ha ha. What is the weirdest obsession you’ve ever had? Nothing really "weird," I think... How long can you be in a car before wanting to get out? It depends on if I have my music or not. If I do, I can last hours, but if not, I don't really like being in the car at all. Have any songs ever inspired you to play an instrument? No. Do you ever use Pandora?No. Are you better with creative writing or writing essays? Creative writing, but I'm fine with both. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever seen as a pet? I know OF someone who rescued I want to say a baby bobcat, or something along those lines, but I didn't know that guy personally. I don't think I've ever actually met someone with a truly *strange* pet... The most unique I've seen is probably just a chinchilla. If you had to change one, would you rather change your hair or your eyes? My eyes. I don't like them much, mainly the shape. What was your favorite computer game as a kid? I loved the various Oregon Trail games, as well as one I think was called The Amazon Trail 3. Then there was a few dinosaur games I LOVED, and then there were the classic kids' games like the Putt-Putt and Fred the Fish series. Any shows on TV that you flat out refuse to start watching? 13 Reasons Why. I don't even support that show existing. Pajamas with feet: yay or nay? NOOOOOOOO, that is so uncomfortable. What is your opinion on fruitcake? That's an even BIGGER "no." Who did you last dream about? I don't remember. Do you have trouble remembering important things? Yes. .-. I barely remember anything. Which animal can you imitate the best? I dunno? Have you bought any drugs this month? I don't do drugs, so. Have you ever set foot in a tanning bed? Nope, never will. Do you know the Soulja Boy dance? Ha ha, I did as a kid. My then-best friend, younger sister, and I wanted to learn it. I don't remember it now, that's for sure. What is the best ice cream flavor? Ben and Jerry's "Phish Food" is GODLY. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop? Teddy, my late dog. Do you clean when you’re upset? Hell no, I do the opposite: nothing. Do you sleep with the door open or closed? It stays open. My cat would pitch a fit otherwise. Do you know anyone who has actually been in an alcohol or drug related crash? Yes, actually. It was incredibly tragic; the both of them were high (maybe drunk, idr for sure), and my friend was driving with her best friend in the passenger seat. They crashed, and said friend's best friend died. For YEARS she would share pictures of them together on Facebook, "talking" to her, and it was just so heartbreaking. I doubt she's forgiven herself to this day, but she seems to have mostly moved on the best she could, being married with a daughter now. Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No, and I do NOT want one. I don't want some random stranger touching me in ANY way. Do you have a good relationship with your first love? No. We haven't talked in years, so maybe he feels no hatred for me at this point, but I do for myself. I don't hate him at all. Do you feel like you have life figured out? bitch hell no What would you do if you were faced with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy (at your current age)? Was I raped? I'd almost certainly abort because I would be traumatized as FUCK. If it was my own fault, I think I'd go through with the pregnancy, but give the baby up for adoption. There is no way I could raise a kid right now. Or probably ever. Water or Gatorade? I don't like either, really, but I HATE Gatorade. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It's been pierced twice, and I'm thinking of getting it redone again, but this time use a hoop instead of a stud to keep the damn piercing from falling out and closing in my sleep. Have you ever slapped someone? On the arm as a kid. That doesn't excuse it, though. Who are the pictures of in the room? I have a lot of posters, but no real photographs of anyone. Have your parents ever smoked pot? Dad did a lot of drugs before I was born, but Mom's never touched anything. I think. Would you ever consider moving to a different country? I'd love to live in Canada, if that didn't entail leaving my family. What is your favourite food from your culture? Cheeseburgers, alsdf;alwer Do you know any pick-up lines in a foreign language? No. What degree are you or will you pursue while in college? I've dropped out of college three times. I am never going back to major in anything. I changed my major quite a few times while I was there. Favorite arcade game? I don't really have one. One of my life goals is to go to an arcade that has Silent Hill: The Arcade, though. There are very few throughout the world, and it looks fun. Would other people consider your sense of humor inappropriate? I don't see how. Some inappropriate things can make me laugh, but it's definitely not my favorite form of humor, and I myself don't really make jokes of that sort. Who is your biggest celebrity crush right now? Mark Fischbach. :'') What are they famous for? He's a big YouTuber, aND WILL ALSO BE A MAIN ACTOR IN A SHOW NEXT YEAR. LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No, I would NOT stand for that bullshit. Do you have any gay family members? I know my mom's... cousin I want to say is gay. Somebody related to her is. Was your first kiss romantic? I feel like it was. What are you most likely to go to jail for? Pirating shit. Well, can you even be locked up for downloading minor shit? Shows what I know. Have you ever liked someone that was in a relationship with someone else? Boy, have I. Would you ever get a boob job? When (or if...) I lose all the weight I want, I can almost guarantee a breast lift will be something I'd want. Certain things happen when you lose a shitload of weight alsdkf;alkwe Have you ever tried to break up anyone because you liked one of them? Not intentionally. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? If we're talking THE ex, safe to say I'd be shocked. Did you ever think someone didn’t like you, but come to find out they really did? It's weird, I've felt both ways with Girt? Like there were times I was pretty much 100% certain he liked me, but I'd also be like "nah, no way, he sees me as a sister." Turns out he like-liked me. Are you worried about anything right now? I can't possibly recall the last time I WASN'T worried about something. When you are home alone, do you still close the door when you shower? I don't shower when I'm home alone because I'm afraid of ever fainting and busting my ass again. What noise do you hear? I'm currently listening to "All Signs Point To Lauderdale" by A Day to Remember, and I can also hear my fan going. Do you go online everyday? Pretty much without fail. It'll probably be a cold day in Hell before I willingly don't come online, ha ha.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''all signs point to lauderdale'' by a day to remember

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evajellion · 5 years

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Idk if you're still taking drabbles or not and it's cool if you aren't but if you are could you write some doppel/rulue with 10? Thank you!

Hello Rose!! Yes, I’m still taking drabble requests, I’m sorry that I took so long, I was working on CoH and I needed to figure out how this was going to play out.

Love your work by the way! @kibasniper

Come here, you need a hug- Doppel Arle x Rulue (1,400+ words)

(Continuation of the previous two stories I had written a year ago, in which Doppelgänger Arle confronts Rulue, very angsty stuff ahead)

The spot next to her bed was empty, cold. Rulue reached out to touch it, only to find that nothing was there. After several emotional moments, she had opened the door to someone known as a doppelgänger, someone who took the form of Arle Nadja, the same person in shape, but so different in knowledge and maturity. These past few days had left Rulue comfortable, thinking about something besides Satan for once in her life, something that was shallow given the truth of being nothing more than a replica, even though this doppelgänger treated her as much more than that.

Come to think of it, as of late, Rulue had been the happiest she had ever been in what felt like an eternity. This version of Arle would sit down, listen, understand her and tell tales from long ago. Methods unknown to the rest of the world were taught to Rulue, things related to the Goddess of Spacetime, almost as if this Arle wanted Rulue to follow into a path so that history would not repeat.

Rulue knew perfectly well that it was worthless, time didn’t pass, the doppelgänger herself said so in regards to Satan’s abilities. Normally, no one was allowed to learn of all of this without staff approval, but Arle did not want the approval of the other two parties involved. It seemed that it wouldn’t matter for much longer either. Doppelgänger Arle stared longingly outside, memories flooding back from the mere sight of the moon.

“Arle?” Rulue whispered from the dark, removing the bedsheets which covered her. “What are you doing up so late? I thought you were tired.” Admittedly, the red-armored variant of Arle had been acting strangely just about all day, with random bouts of blacking out. Minotauros often had to help Doppelgänger Arle for when she became lightheaded, her body falling over from weightlessness.

It worried Rulue all day, she couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Arle knew something, but she wasn’t saying anything about it, claiming it to be nothing more than her powerful abilities taking a toll on her form. “Come back to bed, Arle,” it always felt strange for Rulue to say that, those were words she had never once considered saying before. “You’ve been acting so off all day. If it’s just your sleep schedule that’s iffy, then you should go back to sleep.”

A chuckle came from the doppelgänger. “I cannot sleep,” Arle responded, “for if I did, then I would miss this moment, wouldn’t I? How can I close my eyes and miss the beauty, when it’s my chance to admire everything that was lost?”

With a sigh, Rulue faced the doppelgänger. “Come here, you need a hug,” Rulue beckoned the doppelgänger. “You mourn so much of the past by admiring the present, just come over here, it’s okay. Everything will be alright, you’re here and we’re existing, aren’t we?” Her initial expression was fear, but then the doppelgänger gave Rulue a weak smile. As usual, Rulue would be the one person to ask Arle if she ever needed a hug, a shoulder to cry on.

But when Arle made contact this time, Rulue felt nothing. Her arms were open, but it was only the doppelgänger who tried to properly embrace. Chilled to the bone, Rulue attempted to touch the doppelgänger, only to find her fingers going through Arle’s body. Her torso and arms fazed through Rulue, but still had some solidity to them. The warmth was there, Rulue could still feel the doppelgänger breathing.

What was going on? Why was this happening? Rulue only now realized that the doppelgänger of Arle was becoming increasing discolored in the darkness. Arle pulled back and smiled, tears already forming in her eyes.

“I knew it was going to happen eventually, but I did not think it would be so soon,” Arle muttered. “My existence is not allowed in this world, I am going to disappear.”

Rulue’s face immediately fell, her eyes widening in astonishment and horror. “What do you mean? Disappear—?”

“I broke the one and only rule. I was not supposed to share information about events that didn’t happen here, I have broken my authority.” Doppelgänger Arle tried to laugh it off. “This world cannot exist with two people named Arle Nadja. Even though the other person is the weaker individual, I am being punished for not following the guidelines. It is unfortunate, but I was never meant to cross the borders again to meet you.” The colors in the doppelgänger’s body became even thinner, it was possible to see through her, almost as if she were a ghost.

Calling her a ghost wasn’t technically wrong either, her physical form may still be Arle, but the spirit had been lingering for hundreds of years. “Without getting rid of the Arle which exists here, I cannot stay. I have no choice but to leave.” Small spheres of light and little particles began to float off of the doppelgänger’s body, fading into the darkness.

“No,” Rulue sputtered, tears welling in her eyes. “You can’t leave now! You’re an important piece of the world left behind, the person who adored me after all this time and never gave up! Why? Why is this realm forcing you to leave now!?” She sobbed, trying to grab whatever she could on the doppelgänger. Nothing could be touched, not even her clothes and the warm feeling from her was starting to quickly fade away.

“The moment I woke up this morning, I knew that it was time I had to go. It would happen no matter what I did, nothing I could have done would prevent it.” The doppelgänger of Arle reached out for Rulue one last time, caressing her face. “I will no longer be alive, not here nor in the void between space. The pain of being forgotten won’t plague me, even though no one will remember what happened, just like before.”

“What do you mean?”

“You will forget everything, and so shall your servant.” A gentle, invisible kiss on the cheek was given as a parting gift. “You will not feel any pain from my departure, everything will feel like it once was before I gave you the burden of knowledge and emotional conflict. Things will play out here like they’re supposed to, back to the usual status quo that Satan had made for this world.” The doppelgänger explained, refusing to separate herself from Rulue.

“But I don’t want it to!” Rulue cried out. “I know it’s selfish, but I only want to be happy! I can't forget about you! I don’t want to feel like a replica without personality or life! And I don’t want you to feel out of place in a world that should have you here, you deserve to exist, Arle!” There was nothing to bury her tear-stained face in, despite the doppelgänger’s best efforts to wipe it away.

“It’s not selfish to think this way. You are not a replica, I’ve told you, you are your own person. When I’m gone, I want you to be how you always were, for the memory, I have of you will always be there, hiding in the darkness.” Her entire body was practically gone, but Rulue could still make out the doppelgänger’s red eyes. “I love you, Rulue, and I always have. Even now, we are insuperable, no matter how the world tries to force it.”

She disappeared, making Rulue break into a fit of tears.

Lying facedown on the floor for a good minute, Rulue sobbed continuously, having lost the person who truly loved her for who she was. The heroine that had fought the Creator long ago and cherished Rulue, was now gone forever.

With each passing minute and tears that were shed, the memories of Arle began fading away.

First who she was, then her appearance, what she had told Rulue, the moments they spent, and then finally, the departure.

Rulue stopped crying an hour later. It took sixty minutes for everything to fade from her mind. Minotauros checked on her to see what had gone wrong, but it seemed Rulue had completely forgotten, deciding that she had a horrible nightmare instead of the truth.

A horrible nightmare, which originally started off as a never-ending dream of things that were pure and good. What happened after that? Rulue wasn’t really sure, but it felt like she had lost something special to her.

#kibasniper #puyo puyo #madou monogatari #doppelganger arle #rulue #doppel arle x rulue #this is a continuation where Rulue opens the doors to Doppelganger Arle-- which I wrote over a year ago #it's literally past 2 AM here why am I posting now

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365daysofsasuhina · 5 years

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[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day One Hundred Fifty: Far From Home ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

The worst part about his job? The business trips.

It doesn’t matter how fancy the hotel, how grand the destination, how appealing the attractions of the local area while he’s there.

Because all Sasuke can think about while he’s gone is what he left behind.

He’s only been married for six months now. But that doesn’t mean he misses Hinata any less ardently whenever his father sends him out on these escapades. At least Fugaku gave him some leeway when they were first married: two months without a single excursion from his new wife.

But...work is work, and he couldn’t avoid them forever.

Itachi, of course, is much in the same boat. Fugaku keeps him just as busy, if not more so given his lined up future role as CEO after their father. Add in the fact he’s already got a child, and he’s run ragged...and just as homesick whenever he’s far from home.

This time, they have a rare duo outing. From their home city of Nagoya, they’re to fly to Los Angeles for a new trade deal Fugaku’s got planned. It must be a massive one if he’s sending both brothers.

Packing up his suitcase the day before, Sasuke does his best to look at the bright side. If this deal goes through, both he and his brother have been promised a rather sizeable bonus. Something Sasuke can’t really say no to. After all, the pair are doing their best to save up to leave their (admittedly very nice) apartment for something a bit more…homey. An actual house, to be exact.

Because eventually, they’d like to have a kid or two. Granted, not for a couple of years yet (or so they plan), but it’s never a bad thing to put some money away in the rainy day fund.

...not that either Uchiha brother is underpaid by any means. But, semantics.

Happening to be home from work herself, Hinata’s been helping out with preparations: mostly in regards to making sure all the laundry was done that morning for him to cram into the space he’s allotted in his suitcase. Also helping to round up all his tech he’ll need: laptops, thumb drives, cell phones, and a ridiculous amount of cables and cords. He’s got a rather important presentation to give, after all.

Hence having five copies of it.

Hey, he’s a guy that likes to be prepared.

He even gave one to Itachi to hang onto.

“Okay, here’s the last of it.”

Turning from his position alongside the bed where he’s perched his gear, Sasuke sees Hinata haul in the laundry basket full of newly-folded clothes. “Thanks.”

“I think I might make some lunch - anything sound good?”

“Just something light - I don’t want to risk having an upset stomach on a flight that long.”

Smiling behind a hand, Hinata nods, retreating to do just that.

As she goes, Sasuke’s movements slow, watching her go. He’s going to be gone for nearly two weeks. Granted, most overseas trips are on the longer side. They try to cover more during their opportunity to meet in person, after all. But that means even longer without being home. Without home-cooked meals, a warm body to sleep next to, company to relax with.

Sure, he loves his brother...but his brother’s not a wife. Besides, Fugaku went overboard and got them each their own room.

He’s the type to flaunt.

Mood a bit melancholy, Sasuke finishes up the clothes portion of his packing and decides to save all his gadgets for later. For now, he wants to soak up some wife time before they call it a night. His flight is in the morning, so this is really his last chance until he gets back.

Juggling a few things in the apartment’s kitchen, Hinata glances up at the movement, giving a soft smile. “Taking a break?”

“More like procrastinating.”

Sympathy tinges her expression. “I’m sure it will go quickly.”

“They never go quickly.”

Hinata’s expression then falls to a flat pout. “...I’m trying to be optimistic!”

“I know. And I love that about you.” Coming up behind her, Sasuke just...plunks his chin atop the crown of her head, leaning ever so slightly as she works at the stove. “You’re the sunshine to my clouds.”

That earns him a soft snort. “And you’re the cheese to my crackers - w-what was that line?”

“Me being out of sorts because I’m going to miss you so badly.”

“At least you get to see your brother for a while, right? You two never have any time, since you’re both so busy…”

“...I guess.” In truth, they’ll likely have little downtime to enjoy that time together. But he’s already being a sourpuss, so...he’ll leave that part out. For Hinata’s sake.

They indulge in lunch before Sasuke gets back to packing, making sure he’s got every doodad and thingamabob he’ll need to make this trip work in the tech department. By early afternoon he’s pretty sure he’s got everything stuffed into the case, and he leaves it by the door for a quick exit tomorrow morning.

But for now...it’s lounging time.

They pop in a movie to waste a bit of time, snuggled up on the couch and mostly just zoning out. Or...Sasuke is. Hinata actually looks pretty invested. But she’s always been rather easy to entertain. Which is good. Because Sasuke often lacks a sense of humor that’s not flat and dry, so even he can still make her laugh.

A miracle, really.

By the time the movie ends, it’s time for dinner, which they prepare together now that Sasuke isn’t otherwise preoccupied. Instead, he handles the more mundane parts (the ones Hinata trusts him with) while she does...pretty much everything else.

It’s not that he’s a bad cook, he just...has an aptitude for fire. Even when...there shouldn’t be any fire. Which is why he’s not allowed near anything remotely warm.

Even the microwave is an iffy subject.

From there, Sasuke decides to double check his stuff. Because he will not be happy if he gets all the way to Los Angeles and realizes something is missing. A cord, sure - he can buy a new one. Same with clothes. But some things are rather irreplaceable.

Watching from the couch, curled up with a mug of tea, Hinata lets herself be amused. “Got it all?” she calls once he zips the bag closed for what probably won’t be the last time.

“Think so.”

“It’s a wonder you ever manage to leave for these t-trips with all your fussing,” she can’t help but tease, leaning her head on his shoulder innocently as he plops beside her.

“Not sure my father would consider that an acceptable excuse for missing a flight.”

“Probably not.”

Hinata then starts up knitting, Sasuke leafing through a magazine. He hates how...idle they get when they’re just waiting for him to leave. It feels like they should be doing...more. But what more is there to do?

Besides, well...the obvious. But he’s a little stressed for that. At least, he tells himself, they’re spending time together. Besides, neither of them are particularly...active. In the sense they don’t need to be doing something to enjoy themselves. Companionable quiet is their specialty.

So maybe this is the best way to spend his evening.

“...think we should get to bed? Don’t want to be groggy at the airport.”

“Yeah...I guess so.” He doesn’t want to sleep - sleeping will bring tomorrow all the faster! But in the end he has little choice - there’s no way in hell he’s pulling an all nighter.

Once they’re tucked into bed, he latches onto her with a sigh. “...I hate this.”

A hand brushes his hair consolingly. “I know...me too.” But this is what his job entails. It’s either suck it up, or probably lose speaking privileges with his father if he quits. “You can call me any time.”

“Time zones, Hinata.”

“I don’t care. Any time means any time. If I don’t answer, just...text me instead. I’ll write back when I can, o-okay?”

A nod against her hair.

“...I’m turning out the light now.”

“Okay.”

“You need to sleep now.”

Silence. And then, “...okay.”

Once it’s dark, she shimmies in his grip to give his brow a kiss. “...wake me before you go. I want to see you off.”

“Will do.” Returning the gesture, he holds it a long moment, as though to make it easier to recall once he’s alone. “...night, ‘nata.”

“Goodnight, Sasuke.”

.oOo.

An entry this early? What witchcraft is this?! xD ("early" being a very relative term, given it's still after midnight lol) Admittedly, I've been feeling rather burnt out lately...but that's probably mostly because I have another big project going on: I'm hosting a ship week here on Tumblr! One focusing on OCs paired with canons, lol - and I'm not only hosting, but also participating, so I've been TRYING to get mine done in advanced. It starts Saturday, and I have 3/7 entries done...whoops. But at least 4 is halfway done. Might poke at it a bit more tonight. BUT ANYWAY, if you notice things are a bit...shorter or seem a bit more rushed for the next ten days or so, that's probably why! Sorry ;;; As for this piece, it's Sauce being a lil prematurely homesick in modern. Not connected to any other pieces, just...random fluff, lol - I think he's the sort to be lowkey clingy. At least Hinata doesn't mind x3 Anywho, that's all from me tonight! Thanks for reading~

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #best years of your life [ au ]#365daysofsasuhina

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skeletonscribbles · 6 years

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Wishes - Chapter 9

ayy here it is in full! I know it’s 10:36pm EST but we’re gonna do this anyway I don’t care

Title: “I Will Go Sailing No More” (Mike) Rating: T for general sadness Word Count: 3500 or so Warnings: Bill hasn’t had sensitivity training SO some pretty iffy discussion around mental health, religion, et al

Read on Ao3

Tag List: @roobarrtrashmouth @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @tozier-club@aizeninlefox@stanheartsbill@latinxrichie@softeds@pretzelstoday@melancholypurple@wheezygreens@ayyyymichele @loser-marsh

MIKE HANLON TRANSFERRING TO SOMEWHERE IN ATTRACTIONS Currently: AT THE HOOP-DE-DOO REVIEW WITH HIS BOYFRIENDS FEBRUARY 14th 6:00 p.m.

“Round em up pardners,” the frontier themed (cowboy) cast member called out from the front podium of Pioneer Hall at the Fort Wilderness Resort. “Showtime in 30 minutes! Those in the front, come on down and let’s get you seated. Don’t want the fun to start without anybody!”

Mike sighed and shuffled forwards. Behind him, he heard Bill and Stan do the same.

‘Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day!” the CM called out as an afterthought, and Mike’s stomach dropped down all the way to his feet.

This was gonna be an experience, and not in the fun, life-changing way.

“How romantic,” Stan said acridly. Mike winced as he heard him kick a rock. He wished to God he’d cancelled this reservation - and he almost had, about a week ago, after Bill had made a particularly unfortunate comment that he hadn’t realized was anti-Semetic until Stan was halfway out the door. Mike had opened the My Disney Experience app as Bill stomped around in the kitchen of Mike and Ben’s apartment, and had hovered his thumb over the ‘cancel reservation’ button, but had ultimately decided to keep it until everything had cooled off. After all, after that kind of blowout, it was usually safe to assume that things could only get better.

This relationship was really doing a number on Mike’s optimism.

“It’ll be fun,” Bill tried half-heartedly, speeding up so that he was walking next to Mike. “You haven’t been, right, Mike? It’s fun.”

Someone gave a whooping yell from inside Pioneer Hall, and someone else yodeled in response. Mike was pretty sure that based on those two things alone, he could deduce that the things that Bill found fun were a pretty far cry from what he himself was interested in. If Stan’s loud sigh and exaggerated shuffling was anything to go on, he was feeling the same way.

(Dating a white boy was a little different, it turned out, if said white boy was Jewish. There was a little more camaraderie, a little more of a shared understanding in that.

Christian white boys from the Illinois suburbs? Well...that was a different story.)

At last, they reached the podium. Mike took a deep breath, and proceeded.

“Hanlon, party of 3,” he told the cowboy guy.

“Three…” the CM ran his finger down the list of names on his iPad until he found the one he was looking for. “Righty-o. Three cowpokes? Lonely Valentine's Day for you?”

Yes, Mike thought, as his mouth said, “No.”

The CM blinked, shrugged, and gestured for them to follow another Little House on the Prairie-type female employee into Pioneer Hall. “All right, then. Have a nice night!”

“Do you think he thinks it’s weird?” Bill asked, looking back at Cowboy CM with concern.

“He’s definitely seen weirder.” Stan had moved up to walk next to Mike and Bill. His mouth was pulled into a tight line, and Mike couldn’t help but feel guilty that Stan had been dragged out when he very clearly didn’t want to be there. “Don’t worry about it. I’m wondering, though - do we have to participate in this show? Are people going to touch me?”

“No one’s going to touch you,” Mike promised, sliding a hand over the small of Stan’s back and rubbing his thumb in reassuring circles.

“Probably not,” Bill amended, and Mike shot him an exasperated glare.

“Dude.”

“Just saying,” Bill muttered.

They were seated about three rows back from the stage, and their drink orders were taken immediately. Mike had been planning on staying sober so that they wouldn’t have to pay for an Uber on their way back, but all of that was out the window in the face of the tension in the air. All three of them ordered sangria, and when the waiter informed them that it was bottomless, Stan audibly muttered “Good” under his breath.

When the waiter walked away, the only noise for five solid minutes was the hum of the tourists at the surrounding tables.

You should have known this would happen, a voice in the back of Mike’s head whispered. Jumping into things without getting to know them at all…?

“We should talk,” Mike finally blurted, if only to silence that horrible, horrible voice. “Right?”

“We did talk,” Bill pointed out, eyes burning little laser holes into Mike’s forehead. The waiter came back with their sangrias (Stan’s white and Bill and Mike’s red), and silently, they each brought their glasses to their mouths and drank more than what was probably acceptable for a first swallow.

“Mike’s right,” Stan acquiesced, pulling back from his drink and wincing at its acrid aftertaste. “It’s not enough to have had one after-Christmas tell-all, especially given that nothing’s changed.”

The Christmas conversation had been a veritable shitshow. Mike had been talking with his father a lot in and around the holidays, which had gotten him thinking about his relationship (where it was going, how he was handling it, etc.), so he was admittedly a little distant in working some of that out through late November and early December, but Bill had made it sound like he was completely checked out. Stan had tried his best to mediate, but Bill wasn’t very interested in mediating, and as such, they’d come out worse from that than they’d been before.

Fate and the cosmos apparently had an expiration date. Real life had 100% kicked in, and Mike absolutely did not care for it.

Still, he was a good person, and he did still care for Bill and Stan (especially Stan, wholeheartedly Stan), so he figured he needed to keep trying for at least a little bit longer.

“So,” he began, twisting his napkin in his lap nervously, “I think…”

“HOOP DE DOO!” The band revved up, and the ensemble ran in from the back. Mike rolled his eyes and took another long drink of his sangria. Of COURSE the timing was going to work out like that.

Bill, for his part, had relief written all over his face. He clapped along with the tourists, smiling and sipping his drink, and Mike felt anger - God, how long had it been since he’d felt anger - simmering at the base of his chest. Why didn't Bill want to hear what he and Stan had to say? There was an entitlement in it that made Mike’s blood run hot.

Stan had obviously seen the flash of negativity that had swept over Mike’s face. He immediately slid a hand out and over, ignoring Bill’s glee entirely in favor of bringing Mike to a more agreeable emotional place.

“Just think,” he said, looking Mike in the eyes, “this could be you at the Country Bears when you transfer to MK attractions.”

That got Bill’s attention. He snapped his gaze from the stage to his boyfriends. “Transfer?”

“Oh.” Mike shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah, I put in to transfer to attractions. I wanted DAK but apparently they can move me faster if I agree to go to MK, so I’m pretty sure that I’m gonna agree to to to MK. I thought I told you?”

(He knew he hadn’t told Bill about that. He had a gut feeling that Bill wouldn’t respond well.)

True to form, Bill was frowning, looking every inch the exasperated tour guide as he considered Mike’s words.

“You sure that’s a good idea?” he asked finally, shooting a glare over to one of the entertainers when it looked like they were going to come interact with their table.

“I don’t follow,” Mike said, mirroring Bill’s frown.

“It’s just--” Bill was struggling to find the words for what he wanted to say, which made Mike extremely suspicious. “Dating someone you work with? Is that wise?”

A waiter slid a slab of cornbread on to their table. It fell with a loud clatter, and Mike winced. He finished his glass of sangria, and wordlessly, the waiter took the glass away.

“Technically, we all work together,” Stan pointed out, clutching his drink and pointedly ignoring the cornbread.

“Yeah, but like,’ Bill gestured vaguely with his hands. “Same park is different than park-park-hotel, you know?”

“Richie and Eddie make it work,” Mike said, angrier than he intended to.

Stan winced. “Sort of. What a mess.”

“I thought they were making it work, anyway,” Mike amended. They okay?”

“Oh--” Stan rolled his eyes and waved his hands. “They’re actually fine, but there’s always something. I don’t know what Eddie’s freaking out about right now, but Richie’s current big thing is that he wants to have sex, but doesn’t know how to ask. It’s like his hiatus from sex turned him back into a virgin again or something. He wasn’t like this in undergrad.”

“Maybe he just really cares,” Mike suggested, feeling heavy at the thought of his friend still being nervous about communicating with Eddie after all this time. It had been months, now, and the two of them were still kind of behaving like middle-schoolers.

“Maybe he should be on medication,” Bill countered. “How long has he been this jittery-anxious? And Stan, didn’t you say he was depressed? Has he been auditioning or anything?”

“I said I was worried,” Stan shot back. “Where the hell are you getting the rest of that? You barely even know him.”

“I’ve known him for three years,” Bill said incredulously, staring at Stan like Stan had just admitted to murder. “Just because you’ve known him the longest--”

“You two didn’t spend time together until this past November,” Stan said, acid in his voice. “You have no right to insinuate that stuff about him.”

Bill rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his sangria. “You guys are offended by everything. You remind me of this creative writing professor I had in college--”

The waitress came back with drink refills before Bill could finish his story, and Mike could have kissed him for it. He really hadn’t wanted to hear about the rest of Bill’s college experience.

“Not offended,” Mike said, summoning what little patience he had left. “Just concerned, is all, and wishing you would maybe think before you speak sometimes. Your experiences aren’t all universal.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bill said shortly, turning his body so that he was facing the stage. Mike met Stan’s eyes and could tell that they were on the same exasperated page. Of course Bill wasn’t interested in hearing out their concerns. Of course.

“I think you don’t want Mike to transfer to MK because it makes you feel special to be the only one that knows how things work there,” Stan called, loud enough to get Bill’s attention (as well as the attention of the two families of guests on either side of them). “I know it’s not because you don’t want to share space for the sake of the relationship. You would never run into each other in the Magic Kingdom. Trillions of people work there. No.” Stan paused, and Bill’s face twitched like he was thinking about turning away again. To his credit, he didn’t. “We’ve seen how much you love giving tours and being in charge. MK is your turf. Why don’t you just say so instead of making things up?”

There was a tense silence in which Mike and Stan stared at Bill, and Bill stared at the floor. In the background, one of the performers was doing a solo number, but Mike was beyond caring about what was happening on stage, except that they were totally wasting money by not watching. Bill’s eyes kept edging up, like he was thinking the same thing about how much dinner and a show had cost, but he resisted for a good two minutes. Finally, he seemed to make a decision, and rolled his shoulders back, looking first at Stan and then slowly over to Mike.

“Okay, fine,” Bill said quietly. “I like having MK to myself. It’s selfish. That’s why I didn’t say it.”

The soloist on stage finished, and a parade of waiters waltzed through the audience area, dropping off chicken, biscuits, corn, and beans as they passed by. Mike noted without interest that they hadn’t even eaten their cornbread yet. He really should have cancelled this reservation.

“I’m still gonna work at MK,” Mike told Bill, “whether you want me to or not.”

(Truthfully, Mike had been on the fence about moving to MK immediately versus waiting a little bit for a DAK position to open up, but Bill had pissed him off badly enough that his mind was now made up. Mike figured it was a good thing that he didn’t get mad that often, because he was learning quickly that the probability of his making snap decisions increased by at least 3000% when he was upset.)

Bill stared back at him, eyes empty. “Well, I can’t stop you, can I?”

That was the wrong thing to say. Stan’s expression was twisting sour again, and before Mike could reach out to keep him from speaking, he was addressing Bill pointedly. “Why not ‘I’m happy for you’, Bill? Why not just ‘okay’? Mike’s wanted to transfer for a really long time! You could at least pretend to be happy!”

“But I’m not happy,” Bill said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “and I don’t want to lie.”

Mike thought about his parents and the lie he could have lived, and felt his stomach burn as his next words came out of his mouth. “Sometimes it’s better to be kind than it is to be honest.”

“Everything okay over here?” Their waiter came back through, and Mike watched, detached, as Bill downed his sangria again so that he could get yet another refill. “Food all right?”

“It’s great,” Stan lied, jerking forward and beginning to spoon beans on to his plate. “I think some drink refills are in order, though.” He put down the spoon and drank heavily from his sangria for emphasis.

“If you’re sure,” the waiter said warily.

“We’re sure,” Stan said, firm and direct. After the waiter was gone, he turned back to Bill. “See? A little lie. Didn’t hurt him, no one was put on the spot, we’re getting more sangria. Easy.”

Bill huffed and adjusted his shoulders again. “It’s not that easy for me. I’m surprised - we’ve been together for what, four months? Five? And I thought--”

“You didn’t think wrong, Bill,” Mike assured him. “We know you don’t like to lie or break promises. We know that you’re an action guy and like to jump into things. We know you like to be in control...and we like those things. We do. It’s just...it’s tough, you know? Because sometimes all of your - I don’t know, Red Ranger personality things make it kind of hard to talk to you.”

For the first time all night, the corners of Bill’s mouth twitched up. “Red Ranger?”

“Sure.” Mike smiled back, trying to keep with the positivity. “I’m Blue Ranger, Stan’s Green Ranger.”

“Eddie’s the Pink Ranger,” Stan mumbled to himself, giggling into his sangria.

“The point is,” Mike continued, “we kind of feel like you’re not hearing us when we talk to you. That’s all.”

The show was resuming, and Bill’s eyes flickered up to the stage again. Mike felt his own smile slip away. Hadn’t they just talked about Bill not listening? He could practically feel Bill’s attention drifting off.

“Bill,” Mike said again, trying very hard to be gentle. “What do you think?”

Bill’s eyes flickered hesitantly back towards Mike. “I...don’t know.”

And there it was.

“You don’t know?” Stan asked, punctuating the question with a piercing stare. Mike didn’t blame Bill for flinching away from that particular Stan look.

“I’ve had a lot to drink,” Bill admitted. “I feel okay right now, but I have a feeling when I go to use the bathroom…”

“That’s when you know,” Mike agreed.

“Okay.” Stan nodded, brow furrowed in thought. “Okay, we’ll sleep on it, but Bill - I know you’re set in your ways, but if you really don’t think you can compromise…”

“Don’t,” Bill said softly. Mike averted his eyes out of habit. He never knew what to do when people got emotional in front of him. He loved his parents very much, but he hadn’t had very much practice in feelings response with his ex-military father and strong, solemn mother. “I don’t want to think about that yet.”

Mike looked hard at Stan, who was examining Bill’s face. From the intensity in his eyes, Mike knew that Stan’s mind was made up, and not the way that Bill was leaning. It was going to be up to Mike to make the final decision.

He didn’t want that kind of responsibility, especially tonight. He’d had a lot to drink, too.

“You have to know it’s a possibility,” Stan urged. “We can’t just keep ignoring things, Bill. That’s how we ended up here.”

“You’re one to talk about ignoring things,” Bill shot back, obviously sensing what Stan was getting at. “I could say the same stuff about you as I did earlier about Richie. If we weren’t around, would you even take--”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Stan said, voice like the edge of a knife. Mike leaned back in his chair, wanting to put physical space between himself and whatever was about to go down. He’d never heard Stan use that tone before. “Do you hear yourself when you talk? Do you hear yourself?”

“I’m just trying to be fair,” Bill said, splaying out his arms. “I don’t know why you guys are attacking me specifically, but it’s messed up, and I’m not--”

“It’s called constructive criticism,” Stan snarled, “ever heard of it? Has anyone ever criticized you before, Bill? Or did you just storm out on everyone that has, like whatever professor you mentioned earlier? That’s not how life works. You can’t just leave-- ”

“Actually, I think I can,” Bill said abruptly, pushing his chair back and standing up. He wobbled for a moment (the sangria was obviously taking effect) and then righted himself, glaring down at Mike and Stan. The kids in the family behind him yelled at him to get out of the way of their view, and he took several steps off to the side. “I’m gonna call Bev and see if she can pick me up. Goodbye.”

Mike watched him walk away, feeling like he should call out but not knowing how. Stan’s eyes were fixed on the stage for the first time all evening.

“This show is garbage,” he said after several long, heavy seconds. “Do you want to go buy a beef brisket sandwich at the Chuck Wagon Food Truck?

Mike looked despondently down at the chicken in front of him.

“Is that what you want, sweetheart?” he asked carefully.

Stan took a deep breath and held out his hand to Mike, palm up. Mike looked at it for a moment, a quiet smile threatening to cross his face.

“I want what you want,” Stan said, expression sad, but firm.

Mike took his hand, and felt a weight lift off of his chest.

“Let’s go eat a sandwich,” Mike said, turning around to see if their waiter was nearby. “Check, please!”

#stenbroughlon #mike hanlon #bill denbrough #stanley uris #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #disney au #wishes #feel free to yell at me for the relative lack of reddie in this fic i know no one actually cares about anything else #which makes me a little sad bit...ok

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shikai-the-storyteller · 7 years

Note

May I ask what songs you have on your Zero/X playlist? I need some good music to listen too while doing things. Hope the class is going/went okay!

Sorry for the late response So I was originally going to put this playlist up on 8tracks a few months ago, but then 8tracks changed how it does things and I lost interest, so this is just the playlist I keep on my computer for them. It wound up being a ZeroX playlist as well as a “songs I associate with some arcs of the game” playlist.

I’m still a little iffy about a few songs, but here’s the song list (+a few key lyrics) as it is right now + some of my commentary about the songs:

(Note: These songs aren’t necessarily in chronological order with the MMX games, I just like the way they sound when put together in this order)

Mars - Sleeping At LastWe were full of life, we could barely hold it in. We were amateurs at war, strangers to suffering.

There is goodness in the heart of every broken man, who comes right up to the edge of losing everything he has.There are so many quotes in this song I associate with these two, but I feel like some of them are obvious, so here’s two main stanzas. This song feels like a good introduction to the games and to X and Zero’s experience in the first Maverick War. Of course, only one of them made it out of that first war B’’’’).

All Who Remain – Beware of DarknessWhen you leave this life, the world will be a darker place for All Who Remain And the light you gave the human race will go away…

If I can’t have you in this life, then I don’t want this life at all Cause there’s nothing in this broken world that I’ll ever love as much

I called and I called but you never picked up, and I cried and I cried but you never woke up, you died and you died without asking me first, you left me all alone here on EarthThis song sorta has a double meaning for me. On the one hand, you can read it as a song about X post-X1 living without Zero, and on the other hand, you can read it as Zero fearing what would happen if X were to die (’’the light you gave the human race will go away’’, X is literally a son of Light as well as a light to humanity, or at least, he is in Zero’s eyes). This could also be a MM0-era Zero living in a world where X has died. The last lyric chunk ties so well into the later MMX games where Zero seals himself away and X has to deal with things without him. This isn’t a happy song I’m sorry.

But even in the end, no matter what happens, X and Zero are always the ones who are left behind, the ones who keep fighting no matter what horrible things happens, hence the “We are all, we are all who remain”, so the song isn’t necessarily all sad.

I Found – Amber RunI’ve moved further than I thought I could, but I missed you more than I thought I would

And I’ll use you as a makeshift gauge, of how much to give and how much to take Oh I’ll use you as a warning sign, that if you talk enough sense then you’ll lose your mind

Sort of a continuation of the last song. This song reminds me of how X and Zero rely on each other to keep themselves in check (consider X4 and X5). They’re canonically each other’s strengths and motivation, and this song reminded me of how always look to each other for support.

Love Love Love – Monsters and Men Well, maybe I’m a crook for stealing your heart away Yeah, maybe I’m a crook for not caring for it Yeah, maybe I’m a bad, bad, bad, bad person Well, baby, I know.

‘Cause you love, love, love when you know I can’t love you

So I think it’s best we both forget before we dwell on it The way you held me so tight, all through the night, ‘til it was near morningGGGGGGGGGGGOSH THIS IS THE FRICKIN SONG THAT STARTED IT ALL. It was this song that made me write my first fanfic for them, which spiraled into me writing / planning out over 10 fanfics + one series (it also made me create this playlist). It’s all because of this darn song. (I still haven’t posted that first fic I wrote for them based on this song because I want it to be one of the last ones I post).

Anyways, without getting into the details of the fic, the song reminds me of Zero’s thoughts on X, and Zero’s fear that he can’t live up to his own (and maybe X’s?) expectations of who he should be since he was created to be a warbot, not someone who can empathize with other people (like X was). BASICALLY: ZERO’S IDENTITY CRISIS, THE SONG.

What if the Storm Ends?SnowpatrolX –> Zero: The perfect halo of gold hair and lightning sets you off against the planet’s last dance Zero –> X: Just for a minute the silver forked sky lit you up like a star that I will follow

Be the lightning in me, that strikes relentless

One of the core songs of this playlist imo. If I had to summarize the playlist into only a handful of songs, this and the following song would definitely be in it.

Part of this song reminded me of how Zero described X as the sun in the MMX manga, and the line above always makes me think about how Zero’s always followed and trusted X, even when X was a new Hunter. I dunno how to explain this one, it’s just very them.

The End of All Things - Panic at the DiscoIn these coming years, many things will change But the way I feel will remain the same

Short song, but this was one of the first ones I put on the playlist and it always makes me think of them. It’s hard for me to explain this one too, but in any game or any timeline, X and Zero are always there for one another no matter what hardships they’re put through. That’s what this song makes me think of.

See You Again – Charlie PuthIt’s been a long day without you my friend and I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. I’ll be waiting right here for ya ‘till the day you’re homeCarry on, give me all the strength I need to carry onTHIS ONE’S PRETTY SELF-EXPLANATORY but regardless, definitely an X –> Zero song that applies to so many frickin games, I mean come on Zero, how many times do you have to go and die on X. (This can also definitely be a post-“Zero is sealed away for 100+ years” song too).

Like Real People Do – HozierI will not ask you where you came from, I will not ask and neither should you

I like this song because it ties back to Zero and X’s fathers / their past. But no matter what their backgrounds are or who Zero was, X implicitly trusts Zero, and the feeling is mutual. (Now that I think about it, this song counters “Love Love Love” and Zero’s POV).

Nothing Left to Say – Imagine DragonsZero: Who knows how long I’ve been awake now? The shadows on my wall don’t sleep, They keep calling me, Beckoning…

X: Who knows what’s right? The lines keep getting thinner. My age has never made me wise, But I keep pushing on and on and on and on…

If you could only save me, I’m drowning in the waters of my soul

Admittedly when I first put this song on the list, it was just to have it act as a transition between the last song and the next one, but it’s grown on me it fits so many fandoms and characters though. The whole song frickin works for them, but the first half especially.

To me, this song bridges the end of X4 and X5 together. X and Zero both went through hell in X4, having to kill a whole group of people who (technically) weren’t Maverick, and they don’t really have a chance to recover before X5 happens. They both ended up questioning whether they’re doing the right thing, and although they’re still relying on one another for support to get through it, with all the self-doubt and tension at the middle / end of X5, this song easily leads into…

Unwanted Battle – X vs. Zero

Great remix of their battle theme from X5. The artist said their intention was to “make the song more fitting for a fight between two close friends” and BOY DID THEY NAIL IT.

Chasing Cars – The Wind and The WaveI don’t quite know how to say how I feelThose three words are said too much, they’re not enough

All that I am, all that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see I don’t know where, confused about how as well, just know that these things will never change for us at all

Ehh I’m still a little iffy about this song for them, but I still really like the song itself and those specific lyrics (though as of right now I’m not sure it suits them anymore). This makes me think of post-battle X5 (when they’re both KO’ed) before everything takes an even sharper turn downhill.

We’re Still Here – Sleeping At LastYou were on a frequency, the perfect opposite of meThough I never needed any proof to trust the heart that beats inside of you.

Through the static, through the ashes, we were brave. Through the perils of endless narrow escapes, we’re still here. We’re still here.

Sleeping At Last always kills me, and this song especially (I used to think the lyrics at one part said “there is pain within your memory, the origins of our family tree” and I was like “THAT”S PERFECT”. Apparently it’s “pigment” not “pain within” but REGARDLESS). I thought this sweet / sad song was a perfect way to end their playlist. No matter what canon says, (though apparently MM ZX technically confirms this) Zero and X are still around and still together, in one form or another :’)

There’s a few others that could work for them / a lot more songs I associate with them (like SPG’s “Honeybee” or “Love Like You” but these are the ones I currently have on their playlist. I’ve been putting together a playlist for X, but I’m not sure if/when that’ll ever be finished, so in the meantime I recommend greyfishes’ “Endless Fight” playlist, which is to date my favorite X playlist ever (a few of those songs I would’ve added to this playlist, but I’ll just direct you to the ‘Endless Fight’ playlist).Sorry this reply took so long, but I didn’t want to drop the list without explaining a few all of them!

#replies #ZeroX #XZero #MMX #No escape from gay robot hell #anon #Had to write this all down in one-go since if I saved it to my drafts it’d never be found again #The goofy song I also associate with them is ''Everytime we touch'' by Cascada because it came on my playlist while I was drawing their fir #so it's forevermore their song long lmao #but back to what I said at the end of the list- there are more songs I associate w/ them #but these feel like the best fit #Anonymous #this is a suuuuuuuuuuuper personal list so I understand if other people don't necessarily agree with my choices #i talk #song recs #music rec

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