#I'll just have to wait until (checks notes) 2023 to see if I was on track with. any of this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gallavichthings · 5 months

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It's time!

How would you all like 21 22 fics on the 21st 22nd of December?

The Gallavich Masquerade Ball 2023 is now open! Grab a glass of champagne or anything else you'd prefer, some hors d'oeuvres, and choose your (first) dance partner for the night!

You can check all the fics in our AO3 collection or on this post, after the cut. A list of all authors with links to their profiles is also included. This post is pinned so you can check it whenever you want.

And here's the link for the form where you can put your guesses. It's only one form for all the fics, so please wait to submit your guesses only after you've read them all.

Here's the updated point system:

Points for readers: Correct guess on first choice: 5 points. Correct guess on second choice: 2 points. Incorrect guess: lose 1 point. (Please note that you only lose 1 point per story, even if you guess incorrectly on both choices.)

Points for writers: If someone correctly guesses your fic (regardless of in the first or second choice): 1 point. If someone wrongfully guesses your fic: 3 points.

Leaving kudos and comments is allowed and appreciated! Writers are also allowed to answer, but it's up to them whether to already do it or wait until everyone's identity is revealed so as not to give anything away accidentally. Oh, and if you want to post something about the fics here on Tumblr but can't tag them, I can serve as buffer for now lol.

Oh, and the surprise? The winners will get some great fanart, courtesy of the talented @doshiart! Isn't that awesome?! 🥂

Cheers!

Keep reading to get a list of all the fics with their summaries and word count, as well as a list of all the authors, with links to their AO3 profiles.

FICS:

AITA? (2,072)

AITA? My new clients (29M and 31M) threatened me and I want to fire them. I know that’s not official therapist speak. TLDR; I want to encourage them to have healthier boundaries and find a new therapist, but until then, what do I do?

Attitude adjustment (4,483)

Post-canon Ian and Mickey figure out some relationship issues. That includes insults, (play-)fighting, more insults, and orgasms. Or: Mickey is having an attitude. Thank god Ian knows exactly what to do.

Black Charcoal meets Fiery Red (1,838)

Ian poses in a life drawing class. A straight forward job, if not for the guy with the blue eyes who can't stop staring at him.

Carnival (3,136)

Ian and Mickey spend the evening at a carnival... "Ian locked the car’s door, and put his arms around Mickey’s shoulders, as they walked towards the carnival. He had brought the leaflet home a few days ago, wiggling the colorful sketch of a carousel and the outdated font under Mickey’s nose with some hopeful glee. Mickey had protested for habit sake, but had caved in pretty easily..."

Five Dates with Brad f*cking Pitt (4,269)

Sometimes things may not be what they seem. Especially when there are assholes around who add fuel to the fire just for the sake of a fucking joke.

Groceries (2,260)

A routine trip to the store turns into a trip down memory lane.

The Guardians (4,879)

3,000 years ago, they had to join forces to defeat an evil sorcerer. Now, the sorcerer was back, and more powerful than ever. Could they defeat him for good?

i'll find a new place to be from (5,947)

They stand in silence for a couple beats, unspoken words lingering above their heads. The cig in his hand has long burned out and Ian resists the temptation to light up another, and another. He feels his mouth open, and close, then open again–but nothing comes out. Time’s up. "See you inside, Red," Mickey finally says before pushing the door open, and Ian remembers how to breathe.

Infused Attraction (3,434)

Mickey has to receive Iron infusions. Ian is a student nurse who is assisting the other nurses with the infusion. Mickey is interested in the redhead. Ian is seemingly interested in him too. Let's see how it goes!

Italy (I Trust And Love You) (3,183)

"Ian closed his eyes and ran a hand through his damp hair. He sighed and straightened his shoulders. Took a deep breath, as if to steal himself for some monumental task, and walked off down the sidewalk. The rain made quick work of drenching him. Ian didn’t seem to notice. In the dirt beneath the tree, drawn in crude blocky letters made with the toe of his boot: I + M." OR A story mostly told through Debbie's eyes during world war two, as she worries for all her brothers, but particularly the one sent home much before the rest.

Jump To Recipe (5,977)

Hiring Mickey Milkovich - Freelance Photographer to shoot the photos for his food blog was the best move Ian’s ever made. Mickey’s a fantastic shot, plus he’s committed to the success of Ian’s blog. (He’s fucking hot, too. But that’s just an added bonus.) And the best thing about him, is that in all the ways he’s professional behind the camera, he’s refreshingly unprofessional to Ian’s face. Which means when he comes around, Ian always knows he’s in for a good laugh, intriguing conversation, and an ego boost - Mickey never shy about how much he loves Ian’s food when they dig in after the shoot. Ian’s made chocolate lava cake today. But when extra time leads to their at-home appointment going way off script - Mickey wanting to update Ian’s headshots, but with a twist - who will the spicier photos leave wanting more, the “housewife army” from his blog’s comment section, or Ian and Mickey?

A Lot (4,245)

What could have happened if Ian had told Mickey that he was worried about going to Mexico with him?

The man in the van (2,141)

“Suppose I should thank you for the compliment then,” Ian teases, smirking a little. The guy snorts. “Don’t mention it, Red. I just call ‘em like I see ‘em.” He proceeds to shamelessly check Ian out again, licking the corner of his mouth as he does. or Ian Gallagher wouldn't mind some excitement in his life. Enter one Mickey Milkovich, ready to oblige.

ole red (5,596)

Mickey is out of prison and walking the straight and narrow with help of his cheering section, P.O. Larry . It’s hard being tough in a pastel polo and dad shorts. Old Army is just a paycheck until he meets the assistant manager, Ian. Finally he figures out Ian was Mandy’s Ian from their teen years. Mickey is attracted to the redhead but is still closeted. Ian responds to Mickey lashing out by revealing he knows Mickey’s secret. Mickey decides to be brave and the reward , huge 😈

The Reason to Exist (4,851)

lieutenantcolonel [18:22]: can you stop stealing my loot lieutenantcolonel [18:22]: this team only needs 1 sharpshooter anyway 😐 mm1234567890 [18:23]: shut up u f** lieutenantcolonel [18:23]: WHAT

Red Hot (4,364)

Ian's workday has been shitty... but his afternoon might just be very different. Thanks to his favorite nephew and a certain mouthy and opinionated stall owner at the winter farmer's market.

A Salute Before We Sink (4,601)

The world will end tomorrow. Ian's only chance at survival is to earn a spot in an underground bunker. One man stands in his way.

Snowballs and Sneaking Out (2,441)

Mickey shows up to the Gallagher House in the middle of the night with a surprise for Ian.

So drunk on you (3,878)

"Then Mickey launches himself into quite a detailed account of the previous evening and there goes Ian’s sanity. He’s learned over the months to hone his selective hearing. That is, he’s not tuning Mickey out completely but he’s trained his brain to gloss over the facts that fall under the TMI category and focus on the highlights. Again, for the sake of his sanity. Because the thing is, he’s so gone on Mickey it’s actually embarrassing. And he’s been gone pretty much from the very beginning." Just another friends-to-lovers story.

Span the Distance, Bridge the Border (4,988)

Ian and Mickey are happy, living on the West Side and adjusting to life as husbands in their new apartment. Things are going well, really well, until one day Mickey’s brothers show up. And God only knows what they could possibly want.

weight of the world (3,360)

Mickey thought he was fucked for life and that he’d never see his mom again. Turns out he was wrong about both of those things.

Wonderful- a Gallavich Christmas Mini-fic (5,030)

In which Mickey learns the reason for the season or How the Mick gained Christmas.

AUTHORS:

Blodeuwedd

Calli_Writes

Captain_Jowl

energie_vie

Gallabitch73

gallawitch

Gembu

GrandSelfMythology

IanGalagher

JuliaKay

lingy910y

MissSnowwhitepink

mmmichyyy

My_Brain_Melted

NotHereNJ

Rayrayor

sam_writes_fics

Suzy_Queue

sweet_perversion

Sweetbee78

whatthebodygraspsnot

whatyouandihave

#Gallavich #Ian x Mickey #Shameless #Shameless US #Gallavich fanfiction #Gallavich Masquerade 2023 #Events #Mod post #now updated

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terras-domain · 7 months

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Trick or Be Tricked

Characters: Hwang Yeji, Yoo Jimin (Karina)

Tags: Halloween, shrinking, trick or treat, Dungeons & Dragons (DnD) kinda style (?), game master, lowkey story driven, somewhat bi

Note from writer: (HIYAAA ALL! I'm trying a bit of a new format for my smuts so it looks more organized. Plus, I'll be trying to finish this Halloween story before the end of this week, 5th of November 2023. Cheers all and happy Halloween <33)

(just a lil fyi to readers, DnD heavily relies on the dices results, the higher the number, the higher the damage. how much? depends on the one that controls the game aka me :3)

Halloween, that time of year again. Where the self-proclaimed 'spooky' seasons are at. Children running around in costumes, even adults too to celebrate with a well known tradition, trick or treating. Both JYP and SM Ent have proposed a collaboration of the festive season by making a 'trick or treat' event, where two leaders from their respective companies; Yeji and Karina will knocking door to door to greet fans on the occasions. At first it was kind of a fun event, meeting people excited to see them, gifting nice presents and candy, not to mention the children's heart melting wishes for them, making both Yeji and Karina enjoy the day, until they reached the last house in their little event.

For some reason, the production crew was nowhere to be seen when they reached the area of the house, a deserted terrace, well decorated for Halloween. 30 mins goes by and still, nobody there, not to mention the bad reception there. "Maybe they're waiting for us inside?" Yeji suggested, the two leaders both shrugging and though maybe they are already in there. So they walked up to the front door, two knocks on the door from Karina's knuckle as they called out. "Trick or treat~" the two girls were in sync, hoping for a response. The wooden door creaks open as an old man peeks through, checking out who was knocking on his door. "Oh my, visitors!" He exclaimed, shocked to see the both Karina and Yeji stood in front of his front door, not because they're idols but rather because he has nobody knocking on his door, which clearly left the two girls with question marks.

"I thought the crew told the neighborhood about us coming." Karina whispered to Yeji, only for her to just nod in confusion. The old man guided them in, walking into the large interior of the terrace while the oldie kept on going about and talking until they reached the living room; where it was decorated too well for only that man to be living alone. A bonfire well lit and beautiful scenery of beauty and ominous vibe, a coffee table that is filled with jars and boxes of sweets and chocolates. But the thing that caught the eyes of Karina and Yeji weren't the mouthwatering sweets, it's the board game in the center of the table. "Are you a DnD player sir?" Karina asked, which the old man happily nodded and chuckled. "I used to be a game master for my friends back in the day, before they all moved away..." he kept a big smile, but something about him just makes everything so horrific, worse than any other horror movie they've seen.

Both Karina and Yeji sat together at the coffee table, facing the old man as they made some small talk. Eventually they grabbed some of the chocolates from the boxes and jars, and not gonna lie, it was good, until a sudden blurriness covers their eyesight. Yeji smacks the table, coughing as she faced difficulties to breath, and so did Karina. "Nghhh-! What's in that thing?" Yeji asked, looking up to the old man who was silent, smirking as the two girls were looking like they were on the verge of death itself, as if their lungs are shrinking. "Yeji....I can't...breathe" Karina voiced for help, but what can Yeji do? She's in the same boat as her. "Fuuuck....help..." Yeji's defeated voice fades as both her and Karina collapsed, soon everything turns black.

"Huh???" A confused Yeji shook her head, looking around. Karina just got up herself it seems, shaking her head as they looked around. "Where are we?" Karina asked, but the deep stare they gave each other just amplifies their confusion. "Well good morning girls~ welcome- to my WORLD" the old man's voice echoes, introducing himself as The Game Master. "Game Master....board game...DnD! Yeji! We're in a DnD game!" Karina yelped out as a staff suddenly appears in her hands. And so did her appearance change from her usual wear to one that a mage would wear in the medieval shows. And so did Yeji, transforming into what seems to be a knight, with a sword and shield on each hand and a shining silver armor. "Much better! Now, your mission girls...is to amuse me!" The Game Master exclaimed, clapping his hands once as he announced. "I summon, 20 bandits!" His orders turns to a reality, 20 bandits equipped with knives surrounding them.

"Hnggh- guess there's no running here." Yeji grabbed her sword and slashes one of the bandits, no effects happened. "What...?" Yeji, looks puzzled, she was sure to have killed that thing. Yeji's clueless face just made Karina sigh. "I cast fire spell on the 20 bandits" She casted, and with her wand, a gigantic 20-sided dice is shown. as it bounces around it shows the number 17, making Karina smirk. "Bingo." As the dice disappears into thin air fire ignites as 17 of the bandits reduces to ashes, leaving them only to deal with 3 more of those mobs. "OHHHHH~ so that's how you do it" Yeji nodded, starting to understand the game a bit more, it just made Karina shook her head, hiding her laughter despite the dangerous game they're playing.

"I slash the bandit with my sword!" Yeji's commands reappears the dice, rolling it but only casting a 4. It made Yeji's sword didn't make much damage on the bandit, only 2/5 of it's hit points (HP) down. Now, it's the bandits turn. "The bandits will target Yeji, attack her!" Again, the dice reappears, this time rolling 11. Thanks to her outstanding armor, Yeji managed to tank the damages, only losing 4 out of her 15 HP. "Yeji!!" Karina screamed, trying to help her, but she can't. It's Yeji's turn and the only thing she can do is wait and hope Yeji can save herself out of the situation. Yeji's chest moved up and down as she looks at the three bandits surrounding her. Fear in her eyes, scared for own life but as soon as she realized the lustful eyes from the bandits, she find a solution to get her out of this situation.

"Can I attract or seduce the bandits?" the question wasn't answered, instead the dice shows up, rolling. And oh boy, the 20-sided dice shows a 19. Yeji's cat like eyes widen as she stood up, her body starting to move on her own, loosening her armor to show her tight body to the three men. Swaying her body left and right she winked at them. And seems like her seduction is working, looking from the bulges in their pants. Karina's turn got skipped due to the effectiveness of Yeji's seduction. With their pants now off, the 3 bandits now crowd Yeji, grabbing and groping around her soft skin. Yeji couldn't fight back, instead she just moaned in pleasure, getting in the center of attention and all these bandits touching her, she just gave in and kneeled before them, ready to please.

Karina watches how well Yeji controls the situation, both hands getting to work to stroke the bandits and her mouth to pleasure the remaining bandit. "Fuuuuck....", moaned the Game Master from above, looking at how the game he set now changes it's trajectory. Yeji using her pretty and curvy body to weaken her enemies while they take turns using her perfect body features, hands, mouth and even pussy to pleasure themselves. Yeji getting penetrated by two bandits while the other occupies her mouth made her loud moans muffled, turning on an immobile Karina who stood there and watch, using her magic wand to rub the cloth that shields her golden pyramid, as she watches the group of bandits play around with unarmored knight, Yeji. Using her in any way possible, which turns Yeji on more, they started to reach their climax and eventually shooting their seed all over her pretty face, covering her face with their sticky gooey cum. That made the bandits weaker, tired. "NOW, KARINA!"

"Good thinking with there Yeji", Karina giggled, walking with Yeji away from the group of bandits they wiped out with a single blow from Karina's wand. Yeji got back into her armor as they marched forward into the game. The Game Master gave us a mission to find the princess hidden in a tower to beat his game, and beat it they will. Once they reached the gates of the castle, a huge buff man, with an axe, standing 7 feet tall awaits them. "You shall not pass." He claimed, bending his knees ready for battle. The two girls mirrored the giant man's actions as Yeji lunges, screaming her attack. "I slash the Gatekeeper with my blade!" And as usual, the dice roles, this time landing a solid 9. Wasn't enough to take down the brute, but enough to break his axe which was probably gonna cause trouble for them.

Without the axe, the gigantic man was basically defenseless, leaving Karina an easy blow to finish it quick, or so she hoped. "I cast thunder spell" she casted, the dice roles, and my god what luck is it to role a 1 at this time. The lightning bolt struck Yeji, not just taking out half of her HP, but also her paralyzing her for one turn. The giant man now has a chance to strike Karina, who defensively isn't as strong as Yeji. "The Gatekeeper, take her down." The Game Master ordered, the same routine. Dice role, 15, effective. The ogre physique like man manages to plunge Karina on to the wall of the castle entrance. A few quick stares on Karina's tight mage dress made the Gatekeeper smirk, looking up and down. A deep, growling voice then follows as he opens his mouth. "Forget fighting, I have a better plan for you, little one."

With ease, Karina's leggings were ripped by the Gatekeeper's strong hands. Karina's cute squeaks of moans only excite the guard even more, pitching a huge tent underneath her torn pants. With his hands pulling down her top, now revealing Karina's round chest, it made the monstrous human more lustful. One hand groping her soft left chest while the other held her in position so the smaller Karina couldn't run away. "Ngghhhh fuck off you monster" Karina struggled, trying to break free despite her lewd mind from the incident with the bandits and Yeji was still fresh, her wet pussy dripping on the floor. "I don't think you're being honest, sweet mage~" His voice continues to sounds full of lust, enjoying his time moving his fingers to feel the softness of Karina's boobs, which made her so wet and horny, eventually letting out moans of satisfaction. The paralyzed Yeji is suffering the same thing as Karina before, stuck in place, a mere spectator of the scene.

As The Gatekeeper's boner is fully erect, he couldn't contain it any longer. He stopped his pleasuring time of groping and kissing Karina's voluptuous breast, he wants her pussy now. Tearing off his own garment sprung out his large 7 incher, already poking on Karina's tight tummy. Starting slow by rubbing on her belly, The Gatekeeper slowly moves his crotch lower to align it with the gates of Karina's insides. "Admit it. You wanted this, didn't you?" The brute smirked, pausing when he pushed half the tip in, only to tease Karina more. "Y-yes~ I needed this. Please~~ fuck me~!" Karina submissively plead, her horny mind taking over as she voluntarily grind on his cock with hope it can force his meat deeper inside her, and that is exactly what she'll get.

The Gatekeeper now plunges his cock inside, penetrating Karina's tight vagina with all 7 inches inside, making Karina yelp and scream. "Aaaaah~!" A loud sweet moan came out of her mouth, her lungs screaming out both pain and pleasure. Feeling his thick cock ramming in and out of her hole really made it feel like heaven despite the situation they're put in, a death game as the Game Master suggests. Karina didn't care; she's enjoying this, and she won't let this chance go. Having a huge dick ramming her insides so good as she held tight to him, The Gatekeeper can now carry her while thrusting, his hips moving like pistons in her tight hole, precum lubing her insides. "Fuuck cutie~ you sure are tight. I love it" He grunted, more liquids coming out of his penis as his hips thrusts faster, pumping in and out of the now entranced Karina who forgot about her paralyzed colleague, only dick is in her mind, The Gatekeeper's cock as he sucked on her breasts making it more arousing for Karina. It didn't take too long for him to get close though, he wanted to cum quick. "Ngghhhh you slutty mage I wanna cum!" He growled. "Then cum in me you brute. Fucking fill me up!" Karina's words were barely audible from the moans she was making. With a few last thrusts, The Gatekeeper finally shot out his load, finishing himself inside of Karina's tight pussy, filling it with warm cum.

The Gatekeeper cumming too much, he couldn't think much and immediately fainted on the spot, letting Karina and now cured Yeji a free walk into the castle, straight to the princess' room. They knocked on the door, no answer. "Hello? Princess, we're here to rescue you." Yeji asked. Again, no answer. "Well, fuck it we tried Sleeping Beauty." Yeji sighed as he lift her leg up. "I want to kick the door open." Dice rolls as Yeji orders. And lucky enough, an 18 pops out, smashing the door open only to find no princess there. "What the fuck?" Karina and Yeji were in sync as they were filled with question marks. "Muahahahaha you've been tricked you whores!" The Game Master exclaimed, laughing at them. "There was never any princess to begin with. Your actual mission is; please me. Give me a show worthy of your freedom."

"Fucking pervert." Yeji scoffed spiting on the floor as she looked at Karina, already loosening her clothes already, which made Yeji gulp. "W-wait, Rina! We're really following this creep's orders." Yeji's cat-eyes widened, not that she didn't want a taste of Karina's smooth and sweet body, just not for the reason of being watched by the creepy old man. "It's okay Yeji...besides, let's not pretend we didn't want to do this in the first place~" Karina giggled, pulling Yeji by her armor as she threw each piece of one by one before they were soon naked, without a sting attached to them, falling on the bed that is the only furniture in the room.

With Yeji on top, she took the lead by going in for a kiss, striking her tongue inside Karina's mouth. Both leaders were now into it, hugging each other tight as their bodies clash and rubs against one another. "Fuck~ Yeji you have no idea how horny I was watching you getting fucked back there." A moment for air was used to let those words out, making Yeji smirk and want her more. she started biting on Karina's left boob, making Karina squeal in pleasure. Sucking on her boobs while fingering her pussy, Yeji just looked to see the entranced Karina, having the time of her life from having her body pleasured at both of her sensitive points, making her scream louder every moment.

Yeji wanted some pleasure too. So she pulled away and stopped, immediately catching the weak Karina off guard. "Ngh- why'd you stop, Yeji?" She asked, clearly unsatisfied. "It's my turn to feel good baby~" Yeji smirked as she spreads her legs wide, taunting Karina to come to her. Karina, still in heat, followed the Itzy leader's commands and crawled towards her pussy, kissing and sticking her tongue out to lick it, savoring the taste of her wet pussy in her mouth while looking up to her. "Does this feel good Yeji?" She asked, holding on both of Yeji's thighs to put her in place so she can have an easy time eating Yeji while looking up to the cat-eyed girl. "Fuckk~ just like that Rina yes please...more please" Yeji's loud moans fills the room as Karina's mouth worked her magic on Yeji, no wonder she's a mage. A few minutes later, Yeji couldn't hold on any longer. "Baby, I wanna cum with you."

The words that came out of Yeji's pretty mouth never made Karina happier. She understood it immediately as she climbed up, aligning their wet pussies together as they started to grind against each other, making their moans out together, making the empty room supposedly for the princess, now for two princesses of K-pop to scissor each other with their soaking pussies. "Fuuuck Karina you're so wet shiiiit" Yeji exclaimed, a hand grabbing Karina's thigh, both for balance support and to grope her thick thighs. Karina's moaning mess gave no direct reaction, instead she moved her face to Yeji's smooching her as she started to make out with her, slowly they started kissing deeply, suppressing their moans as their wet body fluids from their vaginas squish between each other as they edge closer to their climax. "Yes....yes...yes....MORE! I WANT MORE!" The perverted Game Master sounded like he was enjoying himself, touching himself while watching. "Karina...cum with me~" Yeji plead, her voice being breathy from the tiredness of their adventure, which puts a smile on the thick aespa leader. "Fuck...yeah cum with me Yeji" They went back to loud moans, going faster and rougher on their griding, reaching their climax as they went faster and faster. "Cu-c-CUMMIIIIIING!" The two girls screamed out simultaneously, as a bright light shined the room, blinding the scene.

"Nghhh- Wha?" Yeji opened her eyes, Karina beside her, both back to the clothes they wore for Halloween, THEY'RE BACK! "Yeji, we're back!" The two leaders cheered as they hugged tight, celebrating their liberty from the pervert's game. "Hehehee, that was soooo entertaining." A familiar annoying voice was let out. The 'Game Master', now on his couch with tissues around him and white liquids splattered around him while he's half unconscious. "This fucker." Both Karina and Yeji cracked their knuckles, looking down at the smirking pervert, passed out.

A few bruises and bumps on his face, the police came by to arrest him, guilty of possession of dangerous substances which most likely is responsible for putting Yeji and Karina in that 'game'. "Well, glad that's over." Karina sighed, relieved they got out of the life and death game with no casualties. But a pair of hands were holding her hips, making Karina look back. "Who said we're done? We clearly just got started~" Yeji smirked, her lips travelling to Karina's neck to give it a kiss followed with a soft giggle to her ears. "Oh right...silly me~" Karina snickered, smiling.

"Happy Halloween."

(3150 words)

#kpop smut #itzy fanfic #aespa fanfic #kpop fanfic #karina fanfic #yeji fanfic #idol x idol #female x female #female x male #gg fanfic

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jewishconvertthings · 2 years

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hello, i just need to get this off my chest. i'm not a conversion student yet, but i have been angling towards that for a couple years now; i attend shabbat services as a guest as frequently as i can, i've done a lot of person research, etc. i'm just not in a place where it's possible for me to convert right now. while i know there's nothing wrong with waiting, that i'm not running out of time, i still feel a lot of impatience, because the desire to be jewish strikes me so strongly sometimes that it feels physically painful. i'll be cooking dinner and find myself wishing i was keeping kosher, or turning on my phone on a saturday and wishing i was observing shabbat instead, that sort of thing. i watched yom kippur services online this year and ached with how much i wanted to be there. i think about it almost once a day. it's just been a lot of waiting and yearning, and it'll be this way until at least august 2023, so i've been stewing in a lot of unfulfilled desires for a couple years now. looking forward to the day i can fulfill them; until then, i'll just keep doing what i can :)

Hi anon,

Oof, waiting is very challenging. It sounds like you're doing a lot of what you can do right now, but here are some other suggestions just in case, since it's pretty clear that you are wanting to be preparing to live a Jewish life.

Food/Kashrut:

Go vegetarian if you can, as this removes a lot of non-kosher food from your life without raising lots of awkward questions. If not, pescatarian is a good alternative, making sure to remove treif (non-kosher) fish and shellfish also if you can. Have to eat meat? Try to limit it to kosher animals, even if the meat itself isn't kosher.

Read up on the laws of kashrut.

Create a "hope chest" of kitchen supplies for your future kosher kitchen. You see a neat looking spatula or dishes? Buy them and put them aside for later! Transforming a kitchen to being kosher is a large and expensive project, so getting ahead of it can be a fun way of preparing while you're waiting. (Note: as much as I normally encourage thrifting, this is a situation where you will want to buy new since many items cannot be made kosher.)

Start learning about hechshers and checking them when you buy prepackaged food. Even if you have to buy something without a hechsher that needs one, you'll be able to notate that for the future.

Learn to cook traditional Jewish foods! There's nothing wrong with learning to make (for example) challah or matzo ball soup or blintzes.

Shabbat:

This is tricky, because gentiles aren't halachicly supposed to observe Shabbat fully. However, there is some wiggle room in that conversion students will oftentimes break Shabbat in a tiny, unnoticeable way (like carrying a penny in their pocket), but otherwise be keeping Shabbat.

That being the case, some recommendations I'd give you in the meantime are things that aren't keeping Shabbat, while still conditioning yourself to the rhythm of it in your life.

Keep track of when Shabbat starts and ends each week. You won't be lighting your own candles yet, but it will help accustom you to the practice to know when it starts and ends. You could even take a moment at candlelighting time to let go of the week that is past, take a deep breath, and have a moment of gratitude for the world as it is.

Try to do one relaxing thing each Shabbat, like reading a book for fun, taking a walk around your neighborhood, or taking a nap.

You could do a screen time/social media detox over Shabbat - even just a few hours can make a big difference.

Look at your area or the one you plan on converting in if different, and see if you/they are within an eruv. If so, you could consider what living options you might have in the future to live inside it.

In your conversion stockpile, put aside a couple plug-in timers for lights in your future Jewish home.

Prayer:

If you know what community you're joining, get a hold of a copy of the siddur (prayer book) they use, and don't use it for prayer but just read it. Really take in the instructions, the order of prayers, the meaning of the translations, the feel of reading a book right to left, the commentaries, etc. Notice the structure of the service, the portions that are repeated again and again, and those that aren't.

Pray on your own - there's literally nothing that says you can't free-form talk to Hashem whenever you want.

Notice when the halachic prayer times are, and consider taking even just a moment to be grateful for what you have, make a request, make an intention for the day, ask for protection overnight, etc.

Learning:

It sounds like you're doing great on learning on your own, but some things that are maybe non-obvious that I would recommend learning are listed here.

Learn the basics of Jewish history, as this will greatly help you to understand how our sacred texts and the holidays are shaped around this history.

This will also include learning a lot about antisemitism unfortunately, but it's critical to understand as soon as possible if you're thinking of converting.

Learn some Hebrew, even if it's just alef-bet and how to sight-read and sound out Hebrew words. This will help you to jump in a *lot* faster.

If you know what community you want to join, look up the Jewish history of the place and the community, and learn the names and locations of Jewish institutions there. This will help you follow casual conversations with other congregants better.

I hope that gives you and anyone else stuck in this situation some actionable things to think about and try out, and I wish you the best of luck on your Jewish journey!

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animehouse-moe · 1 year

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June 2023 Collection Update: The Iceberg

You know the comparison I'm making here. You start at the tip of the iceberg, and think it's not too bad, then you continue working your way down.... and it just keeps going, never seeming to stop. Well, I think I've made it past the surface of the iceberg, and am staring down the absolute scale of what remains submerged. So yeah, Mt. Everest is left to climb still, but I've also got a pretty sizeable hill behind me to share.

I'll start with a haul that came in today (and one I picked up yesterday). Used manga and light novels has been a gold mine for me lately, though you do have to be careful with some listings as you might get volumes in worse conditions than they appear (though most of the time not something sandpaper can't fix).

The No Game No Life was just sorta a bonus to the Is This A Zombie?, but it actually helped bring down the cost per volume thanks to a deal I made (always try and barter for a few dollars here and there through stuff like FB Marketplace and Mercari and the like). I'd been looking for Is This A Zombie? for a while though, and was incredibly excited to come across a completed set. Though I do wish they'd bring the light novels over.

Following this up, or I guess coming before it(?), was this very interesting manga haul which is best explained as a story.

Originally, I had found a dirt cheap Rosario to Vampire manga box set on Facebook Marketplace (to the tune of 90CAD), and asked about getting more pictures because the only image was of the outside of the box set. Seller doesn't respond for a week, and then sends the image out of nowhere. I talk about going through with the sale and getting a shipping label sorted out (cause even with shipping it'd be crazy cheap). They don't respond, at least not until Thursday of last week which was about another week's wait. They say "hey, I'm going to be in your city on Sunday, are you good to meet me to pick up the set?". Immediately, I feel like I'm either going to get scammed or mugged, but it was neither. They show up with the 90 dollar box set and I leave with all my organs and my wallet alongside the box set.

Now, onto a bit of explanation. As you could tell from the images above, I'm kinda running out of space. I know, I need to get another bookshelf to store it all on, but finding the right spot for it and getting a cheaper Billy is a PITA, so instead I've been putting that focus and effort into finding more and more cool sets and series.

Like this Reiko The Zombie Shop. It's an older Josei horror series which I thought was super cool, and when I found a listing for it for just around 10CAD a vol I jumped on it. It's a very interesting piece of history to have from Dark Horse as they only printed it to the halfway point, though it's also a very intriguing read. Leans very heavy into gore and that very "serious but not all that great" story.

Equal parts crazy and cool though, this Empty Box and Zeroth Maria set. If memory serves, it was less than 10CAD a volume for such a hard to find set. Unbelievably happy to have such a well maintained set in my collection, and am 100% going to be sharing the love/set with friends.

Just a side note, the seller I got it from was super cool, as I got a partial set of Konosuba from them as well for the same price. Once more, Facebook Marketplace, so if you're looking for good deals on used series, I can't recommend checking out what's around you enough.

The good deals just keep on coming, huh. Hit the jackpot with this Rose of Versailles set. I was just going to bide my time until the end of year Indigo hardcover sale, and see if I could try my luck on finding them in store at a good price, but came across this listing for 100CAD and immediately jumped on it, since it works out to be massively cheaper than the Indigo 30% off hardcovers they do at year's end.

And I have to say, Udon hardcovers are outstanding. The Rose of Versailles of course stands at the top with it's wonderfully intricate cover design and heavy and glossy paper, but their other titles are no slouches either.

Just take a look at this Summertime Rendering (and Darling In The Franxx) set. Sometimes you'll come across things you just can't refuse. This listing was one of them. Summertime Rendering and DiTF for less than the retail of Summertime Rendering. Good deal, especially when you factor in that DiTF is still sealed, and that the seller never read Summertime Rendering.

But at the same time, getting books in conditions like this feels a bit sad almost. The seller was getting rid of their collection because they needed to repay students loans, so a lot of it was untouched and at very cheap prices. If I were to go back and do it again, I probably would have just sent money to them rather than purchased the sets, as I feel somewhat guilty having these when I'm able to pay retail for them no problem. But I can't revisit the past, so at the very least I'm glad I had the humility to not try and work them down on price, and will certainly be reading them over and over (DiTF is still on the TBR list right now though).

And last but not least for the used hauls, this super weird set. I got the whole thing for 5CAD a volume, which is a pretty great deal, and includes a lot of interesting things. Hidamari Sketch (I refuse to call it Sunshine Sketch), GA Geijutsuka Art Design Class and Bamboo Blade (not shown), and this very odd helping of loose stuff that includes an old style Seven Seas LN, a child's manga, and a very unique volume from a defunct publisher.

I couldn't help but go for it when I saw the oddities and old series that were within. Hidamari Sketch in particular is a headache and a half to collect, and I'd never even seen a volume of Iono-Sama Fanatics before. Very cool stuff, and definitely things I wanted to share. I never even knew Seven Seas used to print light novels so small, and seeing the difference in paper quality circa Spring 2010 was very interesting as well.

Now, last but not least, Jojos. I waited a very long time to buy these at retail, and am incredibly sad that the box for Jojoveller came crumpled in that one corner (already talked it out with support, and got a refund on it), but thankfully the books inside are intact. But man, these things are cool as all hell, I'll absolutely be sharing a post of them (alongside Jojo 6521) down the road.

And that's where I am, collecting an insane number of series and art books, and continuing to realize just how wide this world of manga is that I've immersed myself in. It's incredibly daunting thinking about the numbers I'm racking up, but at the same time it's such an amazing hobby that I'm able to support. There's a world of stuff out there, and I want to experience that all.

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shandian-go · 7 months

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2023-11-14 Update

Just a quick note to say I'm back home (and very jetlagged n__n;;;) and will be spending the next 2 days catching up on e-mails I missed while away! Thanks for your patience and please reach out this Friday (Nov 17) if you still haven't heard back from me by then.

MDZS Pop-Up Shop

Confirmation emails will be sent out late next week as I have to double check what I was able to grab (my friend was kind enough to lug some of it back to Canada and I'll have to wait until I can see them to confirm)

Membership

Membership is open and will last from today until Dec 31, 2023

There's a few Personal Orders from last period that I'll be catching up on but feel free to remind me via e-mail if you're still waiting on the confirmation

New listings

Once I'm caught up on correspondence, I'll be listing new group orders, hopefully this weekend (Nov 18-19)

Feel free to use the Request Form if there's new merch you want me to take a look at :)

Thanks for everyone's patience over the past few weeks!

#shandian go #announcements

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jplupine · 8 months

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Day 8: Shunsui Kyoraku ~ Shibari

Pairing: Shunsui Kyoraku x Wynter Hughes [Nonbinary OC] Word Count: ~2k Date Published: October 8, 2023 WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI, Dom!Switch!Shunsui, Established Relationship, Age Gap, Size Difference, Shibari, Teasing, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Finger Sucking, Vaginal Sex, Praise, Creampie Note: Terms such as pussy/cock/dick/etc. get used. Shunsui also uses terms like 'dear' and 'good boy' to refer to Wynter. If that makes you uncomfortable, you might want to skip this fic.

Summary: Shunsui has a little fun admiring his rope skills.

You can also read it on AO3!

Kinktober 2023 Masterlist

My cheeks were warm as I laid in such a compromising position. The soft pillows at least provided some comfort, but I was still aching for a specific type of relief. The soft ropes binding my hands behind my back were tight enough that I couldn't wiggle free but loose enough that I still had circulation.

The red ropes were also crisscrossing my body and twisting to form patterns down my torso. Worst of all, my legs were bound and forced to bend at the knee while spread. The ropes dipping between my thighs gave no friction where I needed it most, and I huffed.

I'd lost track of time at some point and had no clue how long I'd been forced to lay like this while left in front of the squat table Shunsui was working at. He'd left me on display just for him as he scribbled away on some paperwork he'd 'suddenly remembered' right after tying me up.

"Just a little longer, I'm almost done." Shunsui's low voice broke the silence, and he sounded amused.

"Can't you finish it later?"

"I'll forget about it later."

"You're horrible."

"Oh, I'll make it up to you, dear. I promise." I heard the scritching from his writing continue and huffed while turning my head to look out the window. The curtains billowed in the warm breeze as the scent of blooming flowers wafted in.

I tried focusing on that to distract me from the fire beneath my skin and the growing need between my thighs. I knew Shunsui was having fun leaving me like this, especially when he hummed while looking at me. No matter what I did though, I was still so turned on.

The anticipation and being put on display was enough to have me dripping with arousal. The ropes pressing against my skin and limiting my movement didn't help, either.

Turning my head to look back at Shunsui, I saw him with his cheek on his knuckles and his elbow on the table while his eyes were glued to my pussy. Having his full attention on me sent a tingle up my spine, and I swallowed. The corners of his mouth were turned up in a small smile, his expression not quite fitting me lying there naked and bound.

"I think I quite like shibari. It's such a beautiful art form." He then rubbed his hand over his scruffy jaw. "I also think the ropes suit you rather well."

"Please tell me you're done now."

"Just about." He chuckled. "Though you don't seem to mind too much. I can see how wet you are."

"I do mind." I sighed while looking at him. "This is getting unbearable." My gaze wandered over his bare chest and down his hairy torso.

"Unbearable? Hm, I guess I should hurry up." His tone was calm as he actually began to write slower, and he wasn't even looking at the page.

"Shunsui!" I let my irritation show, and he smirked.

"All right, all right." He backed away from the table before getting up. His long, toned legs carried him closer to me until he stood over me with his hands on his hips. "I wouldn't want you getting more of an attitude." Shunsui tilted his head while looking down at me, and my eyes dropped to his hard cock.

At least I hadn't been the only one left wanting from the wait.

"Though I am tempted to keep you like this. You look like a work of art, Wynter." He then lowered himself to his knees before placing his hands on my thighs. Shunsui tugged on some of the ropes to check that they hadn't loosened and was satisfied to find they were still tight. "I'm sorry for making you wait so long."

"No, you're not." I retorted, and he gave a lighthearted chuckle as he leaned over. His long hair was still back in a ponytail so that it wouldn't get in the way. His lips brushed across mine before kissing me sweetly.

My nipples hardened from excitement when his kisses trailed down my jaw and neck. His long fingers danced across my skin between the ropes, and I leaned into his touch with a soft moan. Shunsui's lips found the sensitive spots on my neck and paid them more attention.

His mouth ventured to my collarbone after he licked my throat. My breath shook, and his fingers were leaving goosebumps from his gentle touches. My hips rocked up out of eagerness, silently begging for him to touch me where it ached.

"You've been so good for me." Shunsui's voice purred as his breath rolled over my skin. He then ran his tongue over one of my nipples while his fingers brushed over the skin just beneath my belly button. "My, you're certainly sensitive today." He grinned while watching me as he pulled on the ropes that were on either side of my dripping heat.

I took in a sharp breath as my hands balled into tight fists. His kisses slowly went lower, following the gaps in the rope while his fingers trailed over my hip.

"Shunsui...." I was just shy of begging when he nipped my side.

"Hmm?" He hummed in response so calmly, and his hand finally reached between my thighs. His fingers followed the lines of the ropes while completely avoiding my clit.

Shunsui licked along the crease of my hip as his fingers slid up through my wet lips. My breath faltered and my hips lifted to follow his touch. I'd been left waiting for far too long.

I felt his breath on my core as his fingers circled my pussy. I bit my bottom lip to silence the whine threatening to spill out. Shunsui finally pushed his fingers inside as he kissed my clit.

"You're so wet." He smiled while looking up at me. He kissed again while slowly stroking his fingers. My thighs flexed as my hips rocked up into the stimulation. "Mmm, you've been so patient. Thank you for letting me get that work done." Shunsui licked my clit, and my head lolled back.

I moaned when his fingers curled, pressing against a spot that sent shocks along my nerves. His mouth worked my clit as he pumped and curled his fingers to turn me into a moaning and writhing mess. I was at his mercy while bound, but oh, was it breathtaking.

"Fuck~!" I moaned as my back arched, and Shunsui hummed with approval. I bucked from the added vibration, and I so badly wanted to bury my fingers in his hair.

"Feels good?" Shunsui asked with a low tone so close to a purr.

"Yes!" My voice was breathy, and his tongue glided across my clit before it curled to lap up the slick dripping around his fingers. My fingers flexed as I panted and arched off the floor.

I could feel my orgasm building until Shunsui pulled away. I felt so empty without his fingers, and he licked one last time before kissing. He rose up and smiled down at me.

"Would you open your mouth for me?" His tone was so sweet unlike his eyes that looked ready to devour me. My lips parted, and he slid his wet fingers inside. "Good boy." I shivered from his tone and praise while tasting myself on his fingers.

I licked and sucked them clean until he was satisfied. Shunsui then leaned back while his gaze wandered down my body. He was smiling and hummed as he stroked himself. With his free hand, he grabbed the ropes against my lower gut and picked up my entire lower half with such ease.

Since he wasn't human and a foot taller than me, I wasn't all that shocked he could do it.

Shunsui rubbed his cock against me to smear my arousal along his shaft. My heart was racing while watching him. He then lined up the tip to my entrance and slowly pushed inside.

I panted and closed my eyes while feeling him go deeper. He adjusted his hold on me and used the ropes for a better grip. Shunsui gave a satisfied sigh when he was in to the hilt.

"Still comfortable?"

"I'm fine." I licked my lips while feeling my body accommodating his thick cock.

"Only fine?"

"I can't say I'm comfortable when cumming is all I can think about right now, Shunsui." He chuckled at my reply.

"Fair enough." He pulled out a few inches before thrusting back in. I moaned, and he held me up as he continued to go as deep as he could before swinging his hips back only to thrust in again.

The angle he was hitting from had my body shuddering as I moaned. He gradually started going harder while pulling me into each thrust. The impact reverberated through my entire body, and he was groaning.

"Oh, so good~." Shunsui's head fell back as his eyes closed. He was just as desperate to cum as I was, likely having been hard the entire time he was at that table and watching me. I was surprised he managed to sit there as long as he had.

Slick was dripping down my ass and his balls as they kept smacking against me with each thrust. It felt so good as I freely moaned without giving a shit if anyone else heard me.

"Shunsui~!" I moaned his name, and his hips bucked. He grabbed the ropes over my chest to lift me up before grabbing my ass in both of his hands as he kissed me. My thighs rested on either side of his hips, and he lifted me off his cock with ease before dropping me back down.

His lips were soft and warm against mine in a heated and hungry kiss. Being bound meant he was literally all that was keeping me from falling as he fucked me. His tongue slipped past my lips and twisted with mine. Shunsui devoured my moans as his groaning was getting lower and lower, nearly sounding like growls.

"How am I doing, darling? Forgive me?" He questioned, and I only moaned in reply. Shunsui smirked while watching my face closely. "That good, huh? I can feel you getting close." His husky voice purred.

This new position had my clit rubbing against his pelvis, so of course I wouldn't last much longer. My thighs clenched around his hips as my entire body shuddered from the pleasure.

Shunsui dipped his face toward my neck to kiss over my pulse and to leave hickeys and lovebites on my skin. The sensation only added to the onslaught to my nerves in the best of ways. He kept a steady rhythm while bouncing me on his cock, and he eventually began to rock his hips up each time he lowered me back down.

I was panting and moaning with my skin burning. Shunsui was so warm and smelled so good as his mouth was on my neck. He moaned, and his grip on my ass tightened.

We were both nearing our climaxes as our moans were getting needier. Shunsui held me flush against his chest and started snapping his hips into me.

"So close. So close." His breathy voice had such urgency as his strong grip kept me held up. I moaned near his ear and felt him shudder.

I cried out with muscles clenching when I finally orgasmed. Me cumming around Shunsui's cock set him off as he slammed into me and groaned. I could feel him cumming with each twitch of his cock.

He was panting and crashed onto his back into the pile of pillows. With me resting on his chest that was rising and falling with each breath, I just relaxed with my face in his neck. Shunsui lazily began to loosen the ropes around my legs first, and they felt so weak while laying limp against his outer thighs.

"Next time....you're the one getting tied up." I panted, and Shunsui chuckled as he worked on freeing my arms.

"Promise?"

#31 days of bleach #shunsui kyoraku #bleach #bleach smut #shunsui kyoraku smut #dom!shunsui kyoraku #bleach fanfic #oc x canon #kinktober 2023 #lemon #Wolf does fanfic

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reidsaurora · 1 year

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Part Ten: "You Have To" ~ S. Reid

Summary: Two weeks had passed since the incident at Bennington's, and Spencer and Imogen hadn't spoken since then. However, on day fourteen, an important piece of mail arrives explaining to Spencer why that is.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Imogen Sterren (bipolar!OC)

Word Count: 1,186 (she short 🤩)

Content Warning: very mild swearing, a couple mentions of the sanitarium, a mild mention of manic and depressive episodes, overall just really angsty

Genre: Angst. lots of Angst.

Extra Notes: no one talk to me about how short this chapter is

Based On the Song: Soon You'll Get Better by Taylor Swift

Originally Written: 01/02/2023

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

"Soon You'll Get Better" series masterlist can be found here!

"𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐥𝐥." - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐈𝐫𝐢𝐬

Two weeks. Fourteen days. Three-hundred and thirty-six hours. Twenty-thousand, one-hundred and sixty minutes.

That's how long it had been since Spencer had last seen Imogen.

Every night, he sat in his now half-empty bed, on the right side, almost like he was waiting for Imogen to climb into the left side. He'd wait up, phone in hand, waiting until the clock struck seven.

After a week, he'd started calling her. Though, every night, he'd be met with the same response. "I'm sorry, Dr. Reid. Imogen isn't feeling well."

On the fourteenth night, he hadn't even had the strength to move from his couch to his bedroom. He couldn't. Not when Imogen wasn't hiding behind that door, ready to greet him with open arms.

A knock startled him as he stared at his safe spot, a small patch of green paint that had been seemingly impossible to cover up with the new paint color. "Spencer," a familiar voice as sweet as candy called through the front door, "it's Penelope. I come bearing gifts."

Spencer forced himself to move from the couch, not even bothering to pick up his blanket—one his mother had knitted him, of course—as it landed on the hardwood floor. He trudged over to the door, wiping his tear-stained cheeks as he unlocked it. "Yeah?" he said, nearly in a whisper.

Penelope held out her hand, a wide smile spreading across her face as she handed him the envelope. "It's from Imogen."

She didn't have to say it. He already knew. From the signature brown envelope she always used to the curls on the crosses of her t's, he knew it was her.

Penelope could tell Spencer was hesitant to open the letter. Still, she cleared her throat awkwardly before asking, "Would you like me to come in?"

He didn't say anything, instead opting for a nod of the head. He shuffled toward the sofa, Penelope following behind him after closing the door. She placed the rest of his mail on the coffee table before taking a few steps forward. "There's the rest of it. I'll go make us some tea while you sort through it, OK?"

He nodded again before picking up the stack of envelopes. A letter from his cable company, a late Christmas card from his primary care physician's office, the newest edition of Mercury Monthly a.k.a. his favorite astronomy magazine... and then there was the letter from Imogen. The sagebrush on the stamp stared at him, a sudden wave of homesickness hitting him like a ton of bricks.

He looked over to the kitchen, making sure Penelope was distracted with her tea-making before opening the letter.

"Dear Spencer,

I am afraid that with this letter, I come bearing bad news. If you're reading this, that means I'm moving facilities and will no longer be able to see you.

These last few months have been heaven for me, and I gathered as much that it was the same for you. You will never know how much it meant—and still means—to me that you pushed yourself well out of your comfort zone to check on me that first night. I've known ever since we played Margery Kempe trivia that I've loved you, and Christmas only further solidified it for me.

I'm afraid I have to go for a while, but I will never forget you. I will never forget that sweet, innocent, and strong man that held my hand through both manic ups and depressive downs—even from 2,423 miles away.

I love you, Spencer. I will continue to love you, whether or not we reunite someday. I know you will do the same. You have to.

Love you, bye. - Imogen 𖤐"

Spencer had barely gotten past the greeting of the letter before tears poured from his eyes, sobs wracking his body. He fell back onto the couch, grabbing his knit blanket and clinging to it like his life was dependent on it.

Penelope couldn't help but hear. She quickly turned off the burner before scurrying over to the couch, attempting to wrap her arms around Spencer. "Hey, boy wonder, what's wrong?" she cooed, pulling him up into her chest.

"S-she's gone," he choked out. "Imogen's gone."

"Gone?" Penelope worried what he might mean by that. "Where's she gone off to?"

He shook his head, wiping a few stray tears with the back of his hoodie sleeve. "She di-didn't say. She just s-said she'd be going away for a-a while. A-And that she c-can't talk to me."

The blonde wrapped her arms even tighter around him, leaving a soft kiss atop those curls she was so often jealous of. "He's a guy, how does he get such beautiful hair but has no haircare routine?" she'd asked herself so many times.

They stayed there like that for quite some time. He sobbed into Penelope's shoulder, secretly hoping he hadn't covered her favorite blouse in his snot and tears. Penelope's arm was wrapped around his back, the other petting his hair gently as her way of saying, "Let it all out, sugar. Just let it all out."

By the time he'd finished crying, Penelope had cried along with him. Sure, it could've just been that she always cried when she saw other people crying, but she believed it was because Spencer was her little brother. In her mind, it was like if Spencer was the moon, she was his Saturn. If he was the hot cocoa, she was the mini marshmallows. Or—her personal favorite analogy—if Spencer was the taco, she was the Tuesday.

She stayed there, arms wrapped around him, comforting him the way no one else ever had, until he'd finally willed himself to shed his last tear a couple hours later.

Spencer wiped his cheeks one last time before forcing himself off of Penelope, knowing if he didn't, he'd cling to her all night.

"Thank you," he managed to whisper. "For everything. For helping me through this—this whole thing, not even just tonight. Hell, I'm even thankful you picked up my mail for me," he chuckled.

"Sure thing, Spencer," she told him, followed by a closed-lip smile. "You gonna be OK?"

"Yeah," he said, pinching one last tear away from the end of his nose. "I actually have somewhere I need to be tonight."

She nodded understandingly, stepping toward the door. "Hey, we're here for you. The whole team's been worried about you. I know you took an emergency leave of absence, but we're all ready for you to come back when you're ready, OK?"

He gave her one last nod before grabbing his coat and hat from the coat rack. He locked the door behind himself, letting out a sigh as he walked toward the stairwell.

He knew he'd have to get over Imogen. He knew he'd have to forget her. But today? Today was not that day. He knew neither tomorrow, nor the day after that, would be that day either. But he did know one thing: even if he had to forget Imogen, it didn't mean he had stop to loving her.

"𝐈 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞. 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧. 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐦 𝐈 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨?" - 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐚 𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭

AAAAHHH, WE'RE GETTING SO CLOSE TO THE END AND I'M GETTING ALL EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT 😭😭

anyway yeah, this chapter was super short but i couldn't think of like filler material to put but also i didn't wanna use filler material and make it boring so this is what you get instead 🤣

anyway, i hope you're all enjoying what i keep calling "the nitty-gritty" of sygb. i'll see you all next week!!! 💛💖

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heart-of-wool · 11 months

Text

7/10/2023

Weigh in, my OMAD, symptoms suck

Hello again!! Very happy to tell you all again about my day!!!! But first, the (dramatic music...) weigh in. Today I am.... 89.8 lbs!!!! We are in the 80's range now!! Isn't that something!!! I had to weigh a few times before I actually believed it!! Wow..

Onto my OMAD, it was okay I guess. Tried freeze dried fruit because there are no more bananas, but there were freeze dried bananas (and strawberries) in the bag. It was 120 🄲als per bag, so I decided why not. Should've stuck with oatmeal like I said I was going to yesterday.... the strawberries didn't taste very good. I tried dipping them in some peppermint tea, but it still didn't taste great. The freeze dried bananas on the other hand.... yum. You can never go wrong with bananas. It tasted like hard stale marshmallows with a hint of banana. I'd eat a bag of just freeze dried bananas. Probably not strawberries again, though.. I didn't eat the rest of the strawberries. At least it means less kcaal! But now I have to wait 24 hours until the next omad, and this one was disappointing ☹︎ well, the fruit was, but the tuna and egg was so so so good. I used to do this a lot, put a sunny side up egg into a can of tuna and mash it up. I failed boiling the egg, so I just fried it... I tried to skip the oil but that was a bad idea. I'll have to wash my pan very well now. I'm just sad with my lunch now. Can't wait until tomorrow so that I can have the comfort of my usual same lunch... tuna, boiled egg, oatmeal, tea. That's all I want, so good and filling!! But we are almost out of tuna too, I don't know what I'll do then, I think I'll probably cry a lot. I just love tuna so much, it's so safe.

I'm getting kind of sad now, I just need to take a walk.. "walks" are just pacing in a circle around my room and daydreaming. The freeze dried fruit really ruined my appetite... thinking about eating is just making me feel sick. I couldn't sleep at all last night. I just want to sleep at night, but it's so hard now. Aɴasømn1a, I guess! Also, I lost a suspicious amount of hair in the shower last night, but my hair is really thick and curly so it's not very obvious.... yet. I've been getting symptoms a lot and they really suck. I wake up, see black, ears ring, almost pass out stumble out of bed, body check, weigh, eat, and then I either pace or lay in bed if I feel too weak.

I would like for school to start soon because every day feels pointless now. I have no use, just laying around... I want to study and work hard!!! I want to go to class!!!! I want to learn new skills!!!! I want to take notes!!!!! I want to walk in the hallways, I love the way my shoes tap the tile and I want to dress up for school.. I always wear pretty, flowing skirts. But not the skirt you think of, I mean skirts to my ankles. It works for me because it's very modest, very pretty, and it hides my big fat legs. Don't worry, I would never judge anyone else for their clothing, modesty just makes me happier and more comfortable!! Anyways, I'll try to make my lonely days better. Typing this and my stomach really hurts suddenly wow omg ouch okay it's done. Anyways I'm not so sure what else to say..

If you read this far, thank you!!! It means a lot to me ♡♡ see you tomorrow!!!!

Lots of love, heart-of-wool ☺︎

#tw ana diary #🕯️as a 🪶#anatumblr #thinnblr #eedee tumblr #thinner is better #i want to be weightless #⭐️ving #tw ana rant #tw ed diet

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mythoughtsforyourpenny · 1 year

Text

April 13, 2023

i guess the story starts when we were watching love is blind

we had covid

i kept meaning to text you

the last text I ever sent you was to tell you that he tested positive

you responded with emojis

the special emoji you would use for him

and your purple heart

no actually

i just checked again

and it was actually two hearts

green, not purple

with his special emoji in between them

I responded to you with two hearts

purple, not green

nothing in between them

nothing after them

nothing of note before either

nothing that matters now

i kept meaning to text you to tell you i was positive too

i didnt send you a video of the apartment because it was a mess

i wanted to wait until we put it together to show you

can you see it now?

i think you'd like it

you would like the color

when i changed your bedsheets after my dad left you said you liked the flowers because they felt happy

with the unspoken regret that you had not been before

but this story isn't about him

i guess in a way they all have been and will be

but not this one

at least not yet

we were watching love is blind

i had left my phone in the other room

we were sick

i was in and out of fever

i didn't tell you

you didn't ask

i guess you didn't really even know that i was sick

i didn't tell you

you didn't ask

my phone had been in the bedroom for about an hour, maybe a little more

we were sick, we had no plans, it was a random thursday

i remember specifically thinking

who would be texting me anyway?

and not bothering to even really remember that the phone was over there

who would be trying to get a hold of me anyway?

one episode ends and starts to autoplay into the next

he stands up, probably to go to the bathroom or get water

"baby, can you grab my phone from the bed?"

he gets it

hands it to me

"thank you, love you"

or maybe that's what i want to remember saying

it's a story i'll tell myself for the rest of my life

probably to strangers

i don't think i've really told it to anyone else so far

he knows

he was there every moment of it and every possible moment since

i'm so glad you met him

i'm glad he helped you fix that drawer that had been bothering you for so long

i'm glad he made you laugh

i'm glad i heard you laugh together

i'm glad you whispered to me when he was in the other room

"i like him"

i'm glad you and i both giggled when we heard him singing in the bathroom

while he were fixing something for you

it's a bum deal for him, but i'm glad he's been here with me

and his response would be

"there is nowhere else in the world that i would ever want to be"

i know he would

because he has

and probably will for the rest of our lives

"thank you, love you"

i look down at my phone

missed calls

a lot of them

from my grandpa

from my uncle

call after call

text after text

please contact us, it's urgent

"oh no oh no oh no oh no"

"what?"

"my grandpa tried to call me a bunch of times"

oh no oh no oh no oh no

i call my grandpa

i'll learn over the coming weeks that we don't get signal on our new couch for some reason

i have to go to the window in the dining room

i have to stand next to it when i hang up on my grandpa and call my uncle instead

when i put my phone on speaker so the love of my life standing behind me can hear everything and i won't have to relay any information

when i continue to get calls on and off throughout the night

from detectives

and a funeral home

and my grandpa again

and the days after when i make the outgoing calls

to the funeral home

to the mortgage company

when the stranger a million miles away in the middle of our conversation tells me he's sorry for my loss and says

"if you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

as it turns out, i do fucking mind

because at that point you don't even really know

i wasn't there, you see

i was sick

again

for the second time when you needed me

but that's a story for another day

so there i am

in front of that damned window when my uncle says my name in the slowest way i've ever heard anyone say my name

like an apology but i don't know what for yet

but of course i do

i've imagined this day and these worlds a million times

when my brain slips into autopilot it's where i'll wander to often

in all my scenarios i never imagined it would be my uncle to deliver the news

"i have some news. your mother's passed away"

i don't stop saying what for at least two minutes

i don't remember any other words

i turn to look at him

his eyes are wide

his mouth wider

his beautiful, messy, sickness ridden curls fall sloppily in his face

this days old tshirt wrinkled, laying lazily over his torso

his hazel pupils full of fear

then tears

i'm still stuck on my word

"what?"

what what what what what what what what what

i manage to start to add happened to the end of it

they don't know

she had been sick, they say

the last couple of days

no one had bothered to tell me

you didn't tell me

i didn't ask

she had been falling again

she fell that morning

when i talk to my cousin later she'll tell me she asked if you wanted to go to the emergency room when her and her husband went to pick you up from where you had fallen

you told her no, you had a telehealth appointment the next day

when you had your abscess you said the same thing

you said it didn't feel like an emergency room situation

"she never wanted to be burden" we'll all agree two weeks later in my grandma's house

in your mom's house

after the second day cleaning out your house

but that's another story for another day

you didn't want to be the next person that the family had to take care of

so much that it killed you

as it turns out, i've had quite a bit to take care of since you died

so joke's on you i guess

actually, i just remembered

the phone sometimes works when you're on the couch

because when the detective is telling me about transporting the body i choke out,

"she's not the body she's my mother"

"i know this is just another day at work for you, but she's my mother"

i think you would have been proud of me

maybe you were

maybe you are

maybe you can't feel anything at all where you are

i think i'd trade that for you, if it means you can't feel the pain anymore either

maybe you would trade it too

i wouldn't blame you

wherever you are, i hope you can still hear me when i talk to you

i'm sorry

i'll be sorry for the rest of my life

i love you

i'll love you for the rest of my life

and probably a long time after that

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