#I'm pretty sure I've deleted all the posts that refer to narcissism as abuse

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Just wondering (no hate, I promise) what are your specific issues with MF and MGK’s relationship? Not a fan of hers (last I saw was Jennifer’s Body), and though I like his music I’m not really into keeping up with gossip (bad for my mental health), so I truly mean it, what’s up with them? Also feel free to not answer this is if you’re not doing well/are worried you’ll get hate for it. Hope you’re having a great day :)

Oh I'll probably definitely get hate for it, people who support her tend to act like her which I'm sure in their eyes is a lovely thing. I'd refer you mostly to @triplexdoublex for alllll the bullet points, I truly try to keep my page to supporting the boys- though I can't always keep myself from a few choice words about her. Roxy has always been the best at covering what happens between them, though I think even she is getting a bit worn down by it so I wouldn't suggest asking so much as scrolling through her old posts. But I'll take a small crack at it.

I was supportive in the beginning, he talked like he was so in love and I have plenty of old posts showing them off and telling people to leave them alone, but then the drama started.

She would post something melodramatic and keep it super cryptic and sad and people would automatically spread rumors he was cheating. She let rumors spread that he gave her a ring that physically hurt if she took it off, never explaining he hadn't. The jewelry company had to explain. She posted a pic of her arm in a cast and said something like 'I deserved this' or something along those lines which of course people started saying he had hurt her. Eventually the movie company she had been filming with came out explaining she fell during a stunt. This is a small amount of things she would post that would start rumors he was abusive and she fueled the fire at every turn instead of fixing it. She has only once that I can think of said anything to fix the problem and even then it was after posting a caption alluding to him cheating and people went wild and pulled his female guitarist into the mix. She deleted her Instagram and hid for a long time before saying it was "all the media's fault". She acts like she's never to blame but she loves stirring the pot and watching his reputation burn.

There are a lot of images of the exact opposite happening, her very obviously "getting on to him" in public at award shows or just shunning him when he'd get near, which of course also spread rumors but only about him.

She acts like she fixed him, she flat out said she manifested him into existence as a child. Like he's some bad boy archetype and nothing more. Like he's there to serve her. It's not healthy for either of them, her putting that much pressure on him or her having that high of thought about him. There's so many things that make me twitch when I see that they're still together. His personality changes, the way he seems submissive around her but himself everywhere else. The way his own friends seem to come out in support of him staying free of her. Pretty much all of this is on Roxy's page, she did an amazing job keeping up with it all.

I'm sure I'm about to get hate for this, besides my fics I've tried to be mostly careful about staying out of it but for a few random mentions. I've supported Roxy when people come for her and that's how most of the hate has ended up here but honestly I just feel bad for them. I don't spend my time hating her, I don't sit around and fume about it, I try not to even post about it much. Besides my genuine concern for him I don't actually focus on her much at ALL anymore. Why waste my time on hate? I'm sure I'll get anon rage for this but like... That must be a really hard way to live. I always think that about her too. How exhausting it must be to crave attention and shit stirring like that. How tiring narcissism must be. I don't wish harm on her, I just don't think either of them are healthy together. She needs to find herself again as much as he needs free. She's literally changing herself to fit what she thinks he wants. Just so people pay attention? Shit that must suck. Hopefully this explained a few things but again I suggest a deep dive on Roxy's page for the best info 🖤 Hope you have a great day too!

#asks #jinx answers #now ill just watch my anons 😅😂 #oops

[abusednotraised]

So, it's been a while since I've made an original post. And I want to address something.

Way back when I first started this blog, I posted an excerpt from a library book concerning people with bpd and npd. I was then called out for essentially generalizing people with these disorders as abusers. At the time, I was confused because I thought this person was taking my post out of context. But now that I have seen a few other posts circulating about how the term "narcissistic abuse" in particular is ableist, I thought I'd take another minute to think about that exchange.

After looking over posts I have reblogged and created, I'm now realizing how extremely generalized all these resources I've found are. It never occurred to me that people who use the term "narcissistic abuse" are in reality using the term to lump all cluster b personality disorders into one and demonize all people with npd/bpd. Probably because I've been conditioned to believe that narcissists are inherently abusive when that isn't the case at all. I would see a book title geared towards people with npd and automatically assume the author meant abusers that have narcissistic tendencies, not literally ALL narcissists 🤦🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♀️ But of course all I had to do was go back and reread that book title to realize how mistaken I was. Even the quote I took from the book writes about people with npd with an evil flair. I'm honestly embarrassed.

So whether you noticed this or not, I am so sorry and I'm going to work harder to recognize when that's happening. I do not agree with that at all.

I'm hoping to get back to posting again soon. In the future, I will do my best to not be ableist when I talk about my abuse, offer advice to others, and provide resources. Not that it's yalls job, but if you do notice that I've reblogged content from an ableist blog or something like that please feel free to let me know. I want to help, not alienate.

-B

#ableism #recovery #trauma #personality disorders #abuse #b talks #I'm pretty sure I've deleted all the posts that refer to narcissism as abuse #and I'm getting rid of the -narcissist abusers- tag entirely since there is no longer a need esp since it's ableist