#ILL FAIL IF I DONT PASS IT

[puddin-dear]

Me: Oh boy im about to get some rest after a busy day of testing and studying for more tests! I sure hope nothing ruins this for me!

Tinnitus: Hey did you call me?

Me:

Tinnitus:

Me:

Tinnitus: Okay I’ll take that as a yes *starts fucking destroying my eardrums with BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*

#tapi rants #tinnitus #FUCKING #SUCKS #why does bro decide that ah yes #rn is the perfect time #in the middle #of #the #night #like why #i dont need no RINGGGGGGGGGGGGG in my ear #I HAVE A TEST WORTH MOST OF MY GRADE TMR #SISNDIIDJWID #ILL FAIL IF I DONT PASS IT #LET ME SLEEP #OH MY STARS

[rohirric-hunter]

Me: Okay, Google, "coin machine near me" Google: Convert your coins to cash at a Coinstar machine! Me: Okay, Google, "quarter machine near me" Google: How to convert your coins to cash at a Coinstar machine and avoid the fee! Me: Okay, Google, "cash to coin machine near me" Google: How to get rid of your quarters and get cash with real value for your wallet!

#crying screaming throwing up #i need quarters to ride the bus!!!!!!!! #i cant fucking ride the bus with a $20 bill!!!!!!! #heres the kicker too #its looking like im gonna have to go to a bank. every saturday. to get quarters. to ride the bus #EXCEPT #if im going out every saturday i dont need the quarters #because at that point i will get better value from a monthly bus pass #BUT if i buy the bus pass #then i dont need quarters #so i dont need to go to a bank on saturdays #so i wont be going out every saturday #so i wont get better value from a bus pass #so ill save money by using quarters #but if im using quarters then im gonna have to go to the bank on saturdays and then ill need a bus pass to save money... #i have one more avenue to try and thats the customer service desk at the grocery store #failing that i guess i could start using cash for all transactions and hoarding the change

[mxwhore]

sick and tired of things not working out

#on my third failed rna extraction... hell yeah #also i dont think ill be able to go to the mushposium at all :( #a friend of my grandma passed away so all the roomies left. i cant in good conscience be out of the house from nine to six #i think its also a virtual experience?? but they havent answered my emails so idk about that #overall im down in the dumps but i always appreciate having the house for myself #sigh #thanks for reading my whine fest

[remnants]

the result of my job interview comes out either this thursday or next thursday and i really hope it's the thursday coming up because i have never wanted anything so bad in my entire life and the anticipation is making me tear up whenever i think about it

#tomi.txt #i want this job soooo bad. SO BAD!!!!! #and i wasn't prepared for a 2 on 1 interview so i panicked and all my practicing and rehearsing flew out the window and i FLOPPED!! 😖 #and i really dont know if ill get it bc i have all the qualifications but my interview skills are so bad #I JUST NEED AN ANSWER. YES OR NO? PASS OR FAIL?? AM I GETTING MY DREAM JOB OR NOT????? 😭😭😭

[autisticlee]

having some sort of chronic pain and tiredness issue and joint problems and whatnot but not knowing exactly what the problem is is really good at leading you feeling like you're faking it or making a big deal out of nothing or making it up. especially if there's a good day where it's not as bad and you can walk straight without limping for the first time in a year. but then you can wake up the next day and can barely walk and wonder why you can't just walk normal. it's hard to not guilt trip yourself into dealing with pain by trying to ignore it and force yourself to walk "normal" all the time

#chronic pain #chronic exhaustion #idk what else to tag #another day of why was lee walking normal and barely pain at work yesterday but then today so much pain and exhausted #wish i knew what was exactly the problem. was diagnosed with “generalized hypermobility” but doesnt do much #not a real diagnosis. basically just a thing to tell me “theres nothing wrong. exercise more” but how???? i keep trying but hurt myself #my job is physical labor and therefore exercise. it hurts. is exhausting. no energy to do more. walking is exhausting #have to focus so much energy on not popping hips out of place and twisting knees and ankles and falling. never hurts less #still think about how failed the heds test by 1 point but had several people with heds or who have close friends/family with it who told me #they think i have it and should go het diagnosed or just ask me if i have it because they recognize the symptoms #and every time i tell them the doctor i saw about my joint issues and stuff denied it they get super confused and tell me to try #another doctor. unfortunately i have to go through my designated health system and they dont have multiple doctors of each specialty #and i in general have no clue how to navigate health stuff or how to advocate for myself and have no help or support system at all so 🤷 #anyway. it makes me wonder if i *do* have that or if my floppy bendy joints are just similarly bad and exercise will cure me #and im just bad at it because i have no clue what is right and wrong movement unless someone watches me and corrects me the whole time #and no i wont learn or get better. im so disconnected from this body that i will never learn what feels right and wrong. #still cant even tell when im hungry until i almost pass out!!!!!!! of thirsty!! or even have to pee until its emergency level piss!!!!!! #so no way to tell when hypermobiling joints when exercising or when form is slipping and not correct anymore. #been trying things to get better at that but still hasnt improved at all #what was i talking about......right. dont think ill ever get heds diagnosis since cant pass the test for that. so cant get much support/help #am on my own with youtube tutorials and hoping i dont keep hurting myself wishing exercise will cure me and “good days” become permanent #also why are video tutorials SO HARD TO FOLLOW AND LEARN FROM. im sk bad at it yet everyone tells me its the best and only way to learn but #its SO HARD FOR ME 😭😭😭😭😭 MAKES ME SO FRUSTRATED AND UPSET

[perfektblau]

tomorrow's my final final exam. if I fail it, I'm kicked out of school for good. I will light my books and notes on fire, and go on a new path.. .

if I pass, I'm gonna cry tears of joy and celebrate by also lighting notes on fire and-

#shut up cici #rant #tmi cici #jk if i pass i cant burn most notes cuz of boards #i rly like this school plz dont let me fail #i rarely ever liked school #for once i actually like school but im walking on thin line cuz of mental health #this got me crying for days #its been rly hard yall but ill do my best #if i do get kicked out im going to be so devastated #but life doesnt end here #ill keep moving on #but focus on going to a path that isnt so friggin hard on my mental health #personal

[polaraffect]

lol you know it's bad when you start going "okay so if I just give up now and fully fail this class, how bad will it really be?"

#damien.txt #answer: not.... that bad? could be worse. #leaves my gpa at like. 3.7. so. that's really not that terrible #but also would be bad no matter what if i went into grad school or something like that #but also i dont even know if ill do that bc the sheer concept feels overwhelming and awful #like...... ngl. im at this point where im like. willing to give up on that lol #im just.... so tired. and i dont have the motivation nor passion to get through grad school yknow? #so. other options would be ideal. perhaps. #but yeah. it's pretty bad #might change it to pass/fail but like. legit can't tell if that's more or less worth. considering im prob going to fail either way #have an academic meeting abt it in like 3 hrs lol but yeah. just having a lot of thoughts #ahahaha academics when you have mental illnesses that are unmedicated is! awful!

[vhstown]

im kind of pissed that weekends is the only time i answer asks but i literally cannot think 💀 i need this week and next week to be over so bad

#too many exams. got so much to do for tomorrow #lowkey ill #i failed my quiz today 😭 (pass mark is 100% and i missed 1 mark tho so i dont really gaf thats plain unfair) #got more exams tomorrow 💔 the same cursed quiz again too but with different topics #vee chats

[minglana]

these ppl in private tutoring wont shut up

#im literally trying to do electricity here and these ppl are like 'oh i think ill do [x statistics problem]' #but they dont shut up. they just keep talking. shut up!!!!!! #one of the ppl is the typical person thats like 'oh im so gonna fail this test🥺' and then goes and passes everything (w rly good grades)🙄 #z xarre

[depresseddepot]

the way i try so SO hard to gain even a crumb of body neutrality only to then see some shit on twitter that remind me that oh yeah. a distinct portion of the population genuinely believes they are being discriminated against when they have to look at or be within 50 feet of a fat person

#the amount of times ive heard my skinny friends call themselves fat and disgusting to my face without considering the implications #i saw some tweet that just like. had a fat person in the video and ALL of the responses were men making fun of her #like. yes i realize my life would be so much better if i was born with a faster metabolism. thank you for reminding me #yes i realize i am not treated seriously because i am fat #that sort of incredulous look skinny people give you when you have the audacity to sit near them on the bus or ask for directions #like they're shocked you weren't some round thing that was in their sights for 2 seconds to make fun but disappeared #i am trying very hard not to let it get to me but when so many people seem to think the same thing it feels stupid #likei know i dont see people the way allosexuals do but are fat people really so disgusting that they feel like they can say shit like that #its so so frustrating #if i am going to die alone because of my own failings i can learn to accept that #but if i die alone because i can't find anybody that doesn't think fat people are worthless then what is the fucking point lmao #''people irl dont actually think that'' i cant count on 1 hand the amount of skinny people who have lamented about their weight to my face #someone brings in cookies to work and as im eating one someone skinny says ''well. i really don't need the extra calories so ill pass'' #someone skinny checking out diet/exercise books because they ''REALLY have to lose some weight'' #no they aren't talking about me/to me but how detached from your surroundings do you have to be to shit on yourself for your weight #like. even if i was skinny they're still talking about how gross and ugly they are around kids #''love your body and your self!!!1!!1'' okay then stop calling yourself disgusting regardless of how much you weigh. #you can think if if you want but god that 12 year old girl in line behind you is going to remember that forever #she is going to internalize ''oh okay. thats what a disgusting body looks like'' #andthen she'll grow up and hate herself and continue the fucking cycle #just stop. stop talking about your weight around kids. i dont need 60 yo women telling me they're gross when they weigh maybe 150 lbs #i know this is super unhealthy but i literally cannot wait until i can move out and isolate myself from society #because every second i try to engage with it is literal torture #yall are so mean for no reason #i dont really have much to live for #but it would be helpful if skinny people didn't constantly reiterate that there's no point to living if you aren't skinny #im so tired #vent

[cimicherrychanga]

SO fucked up that when u study languages they also make u study architecture history and ant biology and economy and european politics hierarchy so by the end of the semester i still cant tie a proper sentence in any language but sure i can differentiate the neo gothic style from rococo or tell you what a bull market is

#shut up dave #im tired im tired im tired i dont care abt any of this #i mean i do enjoy architecture and art periods. i dont want to be required to know all of them #i have an exam tomorrow and one on sunday and one on wednesday and one on next saturday #then on monday and tuesday and the following saturday and monday too #and frankly. im only confident i can pass 3 maybe 4 of them #for the rest??? idk ill need to study and im very bad at that #but hey we got the grades back from the first exam!! the one i took last week and i got a 9 yippeee #that is out of 10 #it was in german interpreting n like. genuinely. im good enough at consecutive interpreting that i dont think theres a way 4 me to fail #like even if i mess it up i cant do THAT bad #i had to do it 4 english today and i think i fucked up sooo big it was so embarrassing. but then we got to the critique of my performance #and. it was all the usual nitpicks? like few word choices #the occasional discordance with adjectival conjugation. few points that 'havent clearly come across' #in my mind i had missed like a whole half of the speech but apparently it was p good still #now the problem is. same prof who teaches that subject also teaches specialized languages #and im. very bad at that one for simple reason that i have not processed any information all year #um maybe next time dont make your class about the stock market? idk just a suggestion. i dont care for wallstreet or whatever. #tho to b fair i didnt care for the european parliament last year either so ig u just cant win me on those terms #but if we get to specializing on the judiciary field i think i wouldnt be able to keep ignoring it. because of the circumstances #i have two more shirt designs to finish before the month ends but as u can see school wants me dead at the same time #one of said designs is a full 7 character thing :/ #and the other. well ive already made 3 thumbnails for it and nothing rly clicks the way i want it to

[nerice]

if any (native) english speaking mutuals wanna vibe check me on my queer cartoons thesis (~40 pages) in the next two weeks hmu i can offer u nothing except gay she-ra analysis and my gratitude

#i'll have a review draft done probably by next thursday n my deadline is the thursday after that #i wish i could be excited abt sharing this but i'll probably shred the entire thing after handing it in n not look at or think abt it again #i just wanna be done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #at this point i dont even care anymore if ill have weird formulations bc thats not gonna make a difference between pass n fail #elia txts #anwy this is a genuine offer if anyone's interested

[whyarewewlwlikethat]

oh and i got my bachelor's btw

#im hot and smart #also i like how this quick pic while waiting for the bus turned out lol #my post #this is a picture of my printed research titled 'The Rise and Fall of Sony's Handhelds: How Sony Failed Where Nintendo Succeeded' #i dont think its that big of an accomplishment tbh i only remembered to post this cause i got an email that i got into the masters program #lemme clarify an accomplishment for me personally* because i actually want a phd but i doubt ill be able to get one if i pass my tests and #start working as an air traffic controller which has been my dream job for nearly a decade

[satuurnos]

I lied I hate living on my own

#living with my family was sooooo not good for me but like also when i had an exam my parents were kinda always my support system for my #academic stress and anxiety and now i dont really have that #and i really kinda feel like i go thru that all alone now #i hate it sm i hate it #i have am exam today and idk why i feel so stressed like ill be fine maybe ill fail but ive kinda always been ok with failing bc theres #ways to still recover theres always a way to recover #so if i can ask for anyone to keep me in their thoughts today to pass this exam i would very much appreciate it <3

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#today has been a day. as in time did pass. the earth rotated. and i accomplished very little #bc im just feeling paralyzed and not so good. and i guess thats understandable #like i understand y its happening but its not any less frustrating. mostly its just knowing that i have to make life altering decisions in #the next few weeks. and the pressure of: if i dont decide to go for this one project then they dont get a student and they dont get funding #that makes me pretty nauseous. and knowing i have an interview Thursday that im not ready for and i dont really wanna do #and its a product of not talking to people like a human being. like i just dont interact with people much. when im in the lab i mostly #stand around looking unapproachable or go in when i kno there's no one there and i just dont have close friends so i dont really talk to or #text anyone. i just work and fail to get things done. so then when im in a situation where i have to talk to ppl its all anxious shrapnel #or me dominating the conversation bc i cant stand the pauses and i have so much obsessivly rotatinf in my head. and i hate it. im so sick #of hearinf my own voice but no one talk in the way i want them to. i get so bored. and i want to ask pressing and uncomfortable things but #i kno i shouldnt. but i also dont really have a filter so ill just say fucking whatever. which is what i did Saturday when a triggering #topic of conversation arose. so now my lab mate officially knows too much. but whatever wtf is he gonna do abt it. i just get so annoyed #bc now its in my head. thr fact it set me off and that i overshared and that now its in my head. annoying. #and it doesn't help with the writing things i need to finish. bc i dont like feeling like ive done something wrong and one of the reviewers #has good points. which also probably means ill have to redo my 8 days of measurements so far #but i also might b able to shorten the timeline so idk. just a lot is happening rn and i feel the pressure and by brain doesn't like #pressure. and not doing things rn is not good. things need to be done #so idk i dont feel good but it makes sense. by the end of February hopefully things will b figured out #and i should sleep and hope for a better tomorrow #unrelated

[kittykatinabag]

Have I fully exorcised the capitalism and neoliberalism from my brain?

No.

Am I seemingly light years ahead of most of the other geography masters students here?

Yeah. Just a bit.

#we were talking about how were all not excited about the gis test on wednesday #i said im alright with failing it if the prof doesnt let us look up what tool names we need to do analyses #because outside of being a student literally everyone googles shit they dont know or asks someone for help #and the whole concept of teating on memory in this day and age is frankly ridiculous especially at masters level #and they could not fathom my viewpoint. kept saying theyd be so upset #look i wouldnt be happy about it probably do a tantrum when i got home but life goes on #even if i end up short on credits for some god forsaken reason that this test causes me to not pass the class ill just do another semster #ill borrow more money from the us government and finish the program off. not a huge deal. #annoying but not the end of the world #ive been through worse and even that didnt stop the world from turning #yes i have immense privileges to be able to be zen about this #but also i have learned that stressing about grades as a measure of worth is useless #just a bad exernal form of validation