#It's feels really odd to me sometimes. I never thought these two old geezers would connect with anyone but me

[soaked-ghost]

Your Nightmare and Dream are literally my favorite ever out of the history of forever

i'm so so glad u love them........ I'm so so glad people love them..... I will cherish this ask until the end of times.....

#these moments where I don't know how to respond. so I just throw a doodle at u #It's feels really odd to me sometimes. I never thought these two old geezers would connect with anyone but me #but whatever man. whatever (<- sobbing) #nightmare sans #dream sans #my art #mail

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Subaru Route ー Chapter 2

*Thud*

*Creaaaak*

Yui: ( Nn... )

( Huh? What time is it...? )

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Last time, I somehow had trouble sleeping, so I didn’t get much rest... )

( ...? Huh...? I can’t move...! W-Why...!? )

???: ...

Yui: ( Someone’s...here...? Wait...!? )

ー She opens her eyes in the hotel room

*Rustle*

Yui: ーー S-Subaru-kun!?

( Huh, hold up? Why is Subaru-kun on my side of the bed...!? )

( Did I fall asleep on the wrong side by accident...? ...No, that shouldn’t be the case... )

Subaru: ...Nn...

Yui: ( Wah! Oh no! Is he waking up...!? )

Subaru: ...Ah?

Yui: Um...Well...Good...morning...?

Subaru: Yeah...Hm?

Wait, y-you!? Why are you here!?

Didn’t I tell you to stay away from this side!?

*Thud*

Yui: No! This is my side...!

Subaru: Haah!? Yeah riーー

Yui: But look! My Rosary is placed next to the pillow...

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( What now? He went silent... )

Subaru: Aah...Right...Yesterday...

Haah...

Yui: Um, Subaru-kun...?

Subaru: ...How are you feelin’?

Yui: Eh...? How I feel? I’m totally fine though...

Subaru: ...Good.

Yui ( I wonder what he means...? )

Anyway...Why were you sleeping on my side of the bed...?

Subaru: ...Well...

...Oh shut up. Why does it matter!?

Yui: Eh? ...I’m curious...

( I mean...He’s the one who kept on telling me to stay on my side... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: ...

Subaru: ...Che! Aah, fuck!

Fine! I just gotta tell you, right!?

...You were...grunting in your sleep last night.

Yui: Eh...?

Subaru: I could hear you suffering all the way over on my side so...

So...I decided to check up on you.

...Got a problem with it?

Yui: Ah...

( So the pain in my chest from last night didn’t just occur in a dream... )

( So that’s why Subaru-kun joined me... )

You were worried about me, weren’t you?

Subaru: Wha...I wasn’t concerned or anythin’...

Yui: Fufu...

Subaru: Fuck! Don’t you dare laugh!

*Thud*

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyah...!? 

Don’t pull me by my arm all of a sudden...!

Subaru: Shut up! Let’s get some more sleep.

Yui: Eeh...!? 

Subaru: Now shut up and let me hold you...!

*Creaaak*

Yui: ( Geez. We should really hurry and get up though...However... )

( I’m sure he watched over me all night yesterday... )

( I guess just a short nap...should be fine? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the main street

Yui: This antique dealer you mentioned yesterday...Do you know where we can find him?

Subaru: Yeah. ...If I’m bein’ honest, I’d rather not get anywhere close to him though...

Yui: Is he that much of an oddball...? 

Subaru: Rather than odd...He’s just a plain freak who always finds something to call you out on.

He’s just some stupid old geezer who doesn’t even hold back towards my Old Man.

Yui: Come on, no need to say that...

Subaru: Hmph...

However...He’s probably the only person in the whole Demon World who would dare to defy our dad.

I have to give him credit in that regard.

Yui: Heeh...I see...

( Going against Karlheinz-san...That’s quite the impressive feat... )

( I wonder what kind of person he is...? )

Subaru: I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere around here...

Aah, right here! ...Let’s go in.

ー The scene shifts to Aizen Stahl antique shop

Subaru: ーー Oi, anyone here?

Antique dealer: Hm...?

Ooh! Well if it isn’t the Sakamaki’s little one!

Yui: ( So this man is the antique dealer... )

Antique dealer: You used to be such a wee little fella! 

But you’ve scored yourself a girl in the meantime, I see?

Antique dealer: ...Well, seems like she has a bit of a shovel face (1) though.

Yui: A-A shovel face...!?

( How mean... )

Subaru: Che...

...Don’t let it get to your heart. I told you he’s a disgustin’ freak who only knows how to insult others, remember?

Yui: Y-Yeah...

Antique dealer: So? What brings you here today? You sure don’t drop by every day!

Are you here to run an errand on Karlheinz’s behalf? Hehe...

Subaru: I’m not. The Old Man has nothin’ to do with this.

...Do you know Count Walter?

Antique dealer: ...

Subaru: Let’s just say I ended up wreckin’ a few of that guy’s furnishings yesterday. 

Antique dealer: ...You did?

Subaru: ...Yeah.

Antique dealer: Hooh...Furnishings which belonged to Walter, huh...?

Heh...Hahaha! Right, I see! You destroyed them!

Splendid!

I have to give you props, little one.

Yui: Eh...?

( He burst out laughing for some reason...!? )

Subaru: O-Oi...?

Antique dealer: I won’t hide it, I loathe that guy.

Yui: You do...?

Antique dealer: Yeah, of course! He actually stole something very precious to me in the past.

Ever since, I’ve had a strong hatred towards him...

So hearing what happened just now made me very pleased.

Yui: ( I see...So that’s his reasoning... )

Antique dealer: I’m pretty sure I should be able to cover for pretty much anything he has in his manor aside from the stuff in his treasure storage?

Subaru: For real!?

Yui: Thank god...!

Antique dealer: If it’s to give that guy a run for his money...I’ll gladly lend you a hand.

What are you looking to replace?

Yui: Vases, sculptures and paintings...

Antique dealer: I see. I might be able to help out then. Wait one second, okay?

ー The antique dealer walks away

Yui: Seems like we might be able to fix things somehow, Subaru-kun...!

Subaru: Yeah, you’re right...

*TIMESKIP*

Antique dealer: Sorry for the wait. What do you think about this?

I assume the items which were destroyed were similar to the ones lined up here?

Subaru: Yeah, pretty much.

Yui: In which case...The Count might just forgive us if we bring him these...!

Subaru: Yeah, thanks for the help. Well thenーー

Antique dealer: Halt!

*SMACK*

Subaru: Ow...! The fuck was that for!?

Antique dealer: I never said you’re gettin’ this for free, did I?

Subaru: Haah!? Weren’t you gonna help us out!?

Antique dealer: If you’re gonna complain to me, then you can forget about getting these!

Subaru: Guh...

...Right! I’ll have the Old Man arrange the money from the human world.

So can’t we make a trade?

Antique dealer: Hmph! I can’t imagine Karlheinz will pay for something like this.

Subaru: ...Ugh...

Yui: Then...What do we have to do to get these...? 

Antique dealer: Let’s see...

If you bring me the three items I want, I’d be willing to exchange.

Well, in other words, you two will be my personal servants!

Yui: Servants...

Subaru: Che...It’s a drag...but guess we have no other choice...

ーー Fine. We’ll fetch them for you.

Antique dealer: ...Is that a yes? We have a deal then!

Yui: What should we look for first?

Antique dealer: ...A clown mask. An antique one.

Subaru: Haah!? Why do you want that!?

Antique dealer: Sometimes we just want things without a specific reason, right?

You don’t have to if you don’t want to? Although that also means you won’t be getting any of these.

Subaru: ...I said I’d do it, didn’t I!? I’ll find that crap in no time so just wait here! ...Fuck!

ー The scene shifts to Saint Nore Park venue

Yui: It’s even more crowded than I thought...

Subaru: Yeah...This sucks...

Yui: ( It was to be expected with the ongoing Parade though... )

 ーー Ah! But there’s a clown over there! I wonder if some sort of performance will start soon?

( Seems like we made a good decision by coming to the amusement park. Now if we can just ask him about the maskーー )

Vampire Child A: Ah! It’s a clown! Hurry up!

Vampire Child B: Wait for me!

Clown A: Now, now, don’t push!

Yui: ( Wah, he’s really popular...We can’t even get close... )

Subaru: Oi, what are we gonna do now? We can’t get to the clown ‘cause of all these lil’ brats who are in the way.

Yui: Yeah...At this rate, the show will start...

( What now...? )

Clown B: ...What should we do?

Clown C: It’s not like asking that question will get us any further...We’re in quite the pinch...

Yui: ( Hm? Those people over there... )

Say, why don’t we try talking to those two clowns preparing for the show over there?

They seem to be struggling with something...

ー Yui and Subaru approach the clowns

Yui: Excuse me...

Clown B: Yes?

Yui: What’s the matter? Is there a problem of some sorts...?

Clown C: Ah...Well...The clown who was supposed to be the star of today’s show, you see...

He injured himself and can no longer perform...

Vampire Child A: The show’s still not starting!?

Vampire Child B: We’re tired of waiting!

Yui: ( Ah...The children... )

Clown A: ...I don’t think I can buy us any more time! What now!?

Yui: Excuse me! Could we perhaps help out in some way?

Clown B: Eeh!? But...

Subaru: Hah? Oi, you, what are you...!?

Clown C: No...This might work. Even just some help with the fountain show would be much appreciated...

Clown B: ...Now that you mention it...They should probably be able to handle that much...Guess we have no other choice, huh?

Subaru: What are you thinkin’!? There’s just no way we could help out...!?

Yui: I’m sorry for making a rash decision, but...

If we help them out, perhaps they’d be more willing to return the favor afterwards...

Subaru: ...

Clown A: Will you do us this favor?

Subaru: Good point...It’d probably speed things up a little...

...Fine. We’ll do it.

Clown C: Thank you so much! Well then...We’re running short on time, so let’s get straight to it.

Yui: Yes...!

*TIMESKIP*

Clown A: Attention, everyone! The long wait is over!

Clown B: Allow us to take you to a world of dreams and fantasies!

Yui: ( Okay...Let’s give it our best shot...! )

Explanation: Press the arrow keys at the right time, following the instructions on the screen to complete the fountain show.

You can play this game in EASY, NORMAL or HARD mode.

*Clap clap clap*

Yui: ( I suppose...it went well...? )

Vampire Child A: Ohー! Amazing!

Vampire Child B: The fountain was awesome too...!

Clown A: Thank you very much! It was a grand success! 

Yui: Really...? We did it, Subaru-kun!

*Rustle*

Subaru: Uwah...!?

Yui: ( Thank god...We pulled it off...! )

Subaru: O-Oi! Move back!

Yui: Eh?

Vampire Child A: Ahー! It’s a couple! They’re dating!!

Vampire Child B: You’re right~! Look at them being all lovey-dovey!

Yui: ...!

( I was so happy, I acted without thinking...! )

Ah, Subaru-kun. This is...You see, I didn’t...!

Vampire Child B: Couple! Couple!

Subaru: Che...Shut your damn mouths!

Vampire Child A: Wahー! He got mad! Let’s make a run for it!!

ー The children run off

Subaru: Fuck...!

Yui: ( Uu...What am I doing...? How embarrassing...! ) 

I-I’m sorry for doing such a weird thing out of nowhere...!

Subaru: Geez...

Clown C: Gosh, we were only able to hold our show because of you two.

On top of that, it got an even better reaction than we expected!

Clown B: Thank you so much!

Yui: ( I’m glad we managed to help them out. )

*TIMESKIP*

Clown A: ーー Allow me to once again thank you both for your cooperation.

Clown B: Please let us give you something to show our thanks!

Yui: U-Um...Actually, we happen to be looking for something...

ー Subaru shows them an image

Subaru: ーー This is it. Does it ring any bells?

Clown C: This is...

Yui: ( Ah...That picture... )

Subaru: Apparently it’s a clown mask. If you have it, could you give it to us?

Clown A: Ahー ...This is a rather old mask. I just hope we still have one left in the storage...

However, you were such a great help to us earlier, so we’ll try our best to look for it!

Yui: Really!? Thank you so much...!

Clown A: We’ll go search then...Could you wait for us for a while?

Yui: We’re counting on you!

ー The clowns walk away

Yui: Good news, right?

Subaru: I just hope they find it...

Yui: ( ...We’ve got some free time on our hands. What should we do? )

Ah...Say, Subaru-kun? Why don’t we go on some of the rides while we’re here?

Subaru: Aah?

Yui: I’m sure it’d be boring to just stand around waiting...

Subaru: ...Which one do you want to ride?

Yui: Um...Let’s see...Ah, how about the merry-go-round?

Subaru: Haah!? You really think I’m goin’ anywhere near that childish crap!?

Yui: Ah...

( Guess that’s a no...I would have loved to go on a ride together now that we have the chance though... )

Subaru: ...

...Che.

ー Subaru walks away

Yui: Subaru-kun...?

Subaru: ...Why are you spacin’ out over there? Hurry up.

Yui: Eh? ...Hurry for what...?

Subaru: That thing...You want to ride it, right? Then come here before I change my mind.

Yui: ...Yeah!

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: Haah, that was so much fun...!

Subaru: In what world!? ...The only thing I felt was shame!

For one...I was goin’ to sit down in one of the carriages...

But that darn employee...How dare they seat us on one of those stupid horses...!?

I’m sendin’ them flyin’ the next time we meet...!

Yui: ( Well, it was a little embarrassing to ride the horse together... )

I enjoyed riding together with you. Thank you, Subaru-kun.

Subaru: ...

Well...I guess it’s fine if you had fun...But I’m never gettin’ on that thing again!

Clown A: ーー Sorry for the wait!

Yui: Y-You’re the clown from earlier...

Subaru: Did you find it?

Clown A: Well...As we feared, it’s too old of a model so we didn’t have any left in stock.

Subaru: Haah!?

Yui: N-No way...!

Clown A: However, they might still have it over at the dress shop in town!

Yui: Dress shop...

( I suppose we should try heading there then. )

Thank you for the valuable piece of information. We’ll try our luck there next.

Clown A: Yes. Be careful...!

ー The scene shifts to Aizen Alleyway

Subaru: ーー So where’s this dress shop?

Yui: Yeah...According to the map we received earlier, it should be around here.

I suppose it could be that place attracting a crowd over there...?

Subaru: A crowd...? I’ve had enough of those.

Yui: Ahaha, right...

( However, is this bad hunch just overthinking on my part...? )

ー They enter the dress shop

Yui: ...

Subaru: ...

Why is it this crowded in here as well...!?

Yui: Y-Yeah...

( The bad feeling I had became reality...! )

Um...Excuse me. Is something going to happen here?

Female Vampire A: Yes. The fashion show is about to start.

Yui: Fashion show!?

If their show is about to start, I’m sure the staff will be busy...

Subaru: Yeah...This crowd is getting on my nerves as well. Let’s wait somewhere else till it’s over.

Yui: Yeah...Guess we should...

( I’m kind of curious what a fashion show in the Demon World looks like thoughーー )

???: Ah! Hey! Wait, you!

Subaru: Aah?

Yui: ( Hm...? )

???: Come with me, please!

ー She pulls Subaru along

*Rustle*

Subaru: Aah!? The fuck do you want all of a sudden!?

Dress shop owner: I’m the owner of this place! I’ll explain the details in the back, just come with me for now!

*Rustle*

Subaru: Oi, wait!

Yui: Ah, hey...!

( What is going on...? Guess I’ll follow them for now... )

ー The scene shifts to the changing room

Yui: ( We were taken to the back of the store... )

Dress shop owner: I’m sorry this is a little sudden, but could you please change into this outfit? 

Subaru: Haah!? This is more than ‘a little’ sudden! The fuck do you want!?

Dress shop owner: ...Right. I suppose I was a little too pushy...

We’re actually about to get started with our fashion show...

However, I’ve been in quite the pinch since I was unable to find a model to wear my best creation.

We did find a substitute, but they just don’t fit the image I have in mind.

Then you appeared in front of me! You’re the perfect fit!

Yui: ( Subaru-kun...A model... )

Subaru: Fuck off! You must be mental if you think I’m doin’ that shit!

Dress shop owner: Oh no! I will have you be my model!

I’m sure my clothes would be overjoyed to be worn by you as well!

Subaru: Hmph, bullshit. Oi, we’re leavin’.

ー Subaru starts walking away

Yui: Ah, but...

( We have to ask her about the mask... )

( And above all... )

( I’m very much interested in seeing Subaru-kun take part in a fashion show...! )

Say, Subaru-kun...Why not take this opportunity to participate?

Subaru: Aah!? Have you hit your head as well!?

Yui: ...Oh come on, please?

Also...Lend me your ear for a bit?

Subaru: Aah?

*Rustle*

Yui: It might be a good chance to ask about the mask...!

Subaru: ...

Dress shop owner: I don’t know what you’re whispering about but...

I’d like to ask you for your cooperation as well. I’m convinced you’ll be the best model for this outfit!

Subaru: ...

...Gimme that. I’ll go change.

*Rustle*

Yui: Subaru-kun...!

Dress shop owner: Oh my! Thank you so much! This way, please!

Yui: ( I can’t wait to see what it’ll look like...! )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the main street

*Snap snap*

Yui: ( All of the models have such great figures. (2) I can only dream to look like that... )

( I wonder when it’ll be Subaru-kun’s turn...? )

Dress shop owner: Well then, to wrap up the show, we have none other than my pride and joy!

Yui: ( Ah, there he is...! )

*Snap snap snap*

Monologue

Subaru-kun’s appearance as he set foot on the stage,

was so handsome,

he made the whole crowd swoon.

...He did seem somewhat grumpy though.

Perhaps it’s due to the different style of clothes,

but it felt refreshing to me.

Standing next to him,

was the shop clerk from earlierーー

who looked equally stunning.

However...I could not help but grow a little curious,

as this seemingly picture-perfect duo,

seemed to be whispering something to each other. 

Dress shop owner: Just look at how ecstatic everyone is...!

Come on, you should wave at the crowd as well!

*Smack*

Subaru: ーー Get your hands off me.

Yui: ( Ah...! He slapped away her hand. )

Subaru: I’m already taken. (3) Go try your luck with some other guy.

Dress shop owner: Oh dear...

...Fufu, could it be that young lady?

Subaru: ...Hmph.

Yui: ( I just hope he won’t start another fight... )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ーー Subaru-kun!

Subaru: ...Ah, there you are.

Yui: Ah...You already changed it seems.

Subaru: Well, duh. You really think I was gonna stay in that get-up forever?

Yui: ( I’d love to tell Subaru-kun my thoughts on his performance from earlier while I have the chance...Now how to put it? )

Selection

→ You looked interesting

Yui: Um...You looked interesting just now, you know!

Subaru: Funny...Aah? Are you makin’ fun of me!?

Yui: Eh!? Ah, I didn’t mean it like that...I just thought you looked very precious while going down the catwalk wearing something you usually wouldn’t.

Subaru: Please make it clear whether you’re complimenting or insulting me...

Yui: ...Sorry.

( I should have just genuinely complimented him. )

Subaru: Then what were you tryin’ to say?

Yui: Well...You know, I just thought

→ You looked handsome (☾)

Yui: You were very handsome just now!

Subaru: Y-You think so? I didn’t do anythin’ special though.

Yui: That’s not true. The clothes fit you to a T as well...!

Subaru: ...Thanks.

Dress shop owner: Thank you so much for earlier. Thanks to you, the show was a big success.

Subaru: I did as you asked earlier, so now you have to listen to one of our requests.

Dress shop owner: What could that be? I will gladly help where I can.

Subaru: ...Does this picture ring a bell? We’re lookin’ for it.

Dress shop owner: ...Oh my, we have this in our storage room. I’ll go get it so wait here, okay?

*TIMESKIP*

Dress shop owner: ーー Is this it?

*Rustle*

Yui: Ah, that’s it!

Dress shop owner: I don’t see myself using it any time soon so...If you need it, you can have it.

*Rustle*

Yui: Thank you very much! We did it, Subaru-kun!

Subaru: Hmph...I honestly have no idea why that guy even wants this relic of the past...

Whatever. Anyway, we’re goin’ back to that geezer’s place pronto!

Yui: Good idea. Ah, thank you so much, truly!

Dress shop owner: I’m just glad I was able to return the favor. Please feel free to drop by again anytime!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts back to the antiques shop

Subaru: ーー Here! Happy now?

*Thud*

Antique dealer: Ooh! This is it! I didn’t think you’d actually be able to find it!

Subaru: Honestly, I don’t get why you want this crap.

But...We cleared the first hurdle now, right?

Antique dealer: Yeah, of course. I’ll be counting on you two again tomorrow!

ー The scene shifts to the Diamante Fountain

Subaru: Haah...I’m beat...

Yui: We haven’t been able to catch a break right from day one, huh...?

Ah, I got us some churros from that food truck over there. Want some?

Subaru: Yeah...Nn...

...Guess it’s true that sweets are the best thing to eat when you’re tired...

Yui: Fufu...

( Still, so much stuff went down today. )

( I hope we can get through tomorrow as well... )

Subaru: Don’t look so worried. ...I’m here with you, remember?

Yui: Yeah...!

( Right, as long as I’m together with Subaru-kun, I’m sure everything will turn out fine...! )

( Okay, I’ll try my best again tomorrow! )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) In Japanese, he calls her チンクシャ or ‘chinkusha’, which is a very rude term used to describe women who have a flat/small nose and are therefore considered ugly. 

I looked up similar slang terms in English and ‘shovel face’ seemed like the best fit.

(2) スタイルがいい or ‘style ga ii’ actually refers more to someone’s body type/figure, rather than their fashion style, even when talking about models.

(3) Literally he says that he has already been booked, using the word 予約 or ‘yoyaku’, which you would also use when booking a hotel room or a restaurant.

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 1

→ PROCEED WITH MAIN STORY [CHAPTER 3]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #1 [W/ REIJI]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #2 [W/ KOU]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #3 [W/ CARLA]

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #subaru sakamaki #lunatic parade #diabolik lovers translation #lpsubaruchapter2

[ladykissingfish]

Under the Mistletoe with the Akatsuki // Part Nine // Pein (Nagato)

Leader. Never in a million years did Nagato Uzumaki believe he had it in him for be a leader, and especially not one of a group of S-ranked criminals like the ones that comprised his Akatsuki. But perhaps he really wasn’t; after all, save for Konan, none of them had even met him before. All they knew about him was Pein, the body that he animated and controlled through his chakra. Yet despite all he and his group have accomplished, the nagging feeling never leaves him ... that Yahiko would have done a much better job than Nagato. It’s one of the main reasons that Nagato fashioned his main Pein-body after his old friend; to try and infuse some of Yahiko’s wisdom and charisma into his own leadership style. One of the things Yahiko often stressed was the importance of having people around you that you could trust, and depend on. In short - friends. Aside from Konan, Nagato doesn’t truly consider anyone in this organization to be his ‘friend’ ... rather, he’s come to think of the group as a whole of being his family. And apparently families played games with each other, hence why he (as Pein) agrees to this mistletoe game now.

Kisame

“Good evening, Leader.” Kisame was by far one of the more desirable members that Nagato had strived to bring into his group. Mature, experienced with battle and ninjutsu, and one of the fabled Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. In any given situation, in any conflict between members of the group, Kisame will most often be the voice of reason. Nagato chose to pair him with the young but mature beyond his years Itachi, believing they’d have much to learn from one another, and he was correct. Out of all the duos, theirs was probably the most stable (and certainly the least problematic). Despite being both tall and intimidating, the half-shark had a surprisingly gentle, almost shy nature to him when one caught him in a one on one situation, as was the case now. Kisame walks up to Pein but seems unable to take the initiative, so Pein does so himself. He puts one hand on Kisame’s shoulder, leans up slightly, and kisses his cheek. Kisame blushes and grins, before going back to his room for the evening.

Sasori

Unbeknownst to the others, aside from Konan, Sasori is the only member of the Akatsuki that knows that Pein isn’t who (or what) he presents himself to be. After all, spending years hidden inside a puppet body gave one a little leeway into seeing into (or perhaps seeing past) others’ true selves. But Sasori understands Nagato’s need to conceal his real body; in fact, he’s even helped him a few times. He’s travelled with Konan before to meet the actual Nagato, when the latter came down with an illness that Konan wasn’t sure how to treat. Sasori used his extensive knowledge of medical procedures to help Nagato, and since then, the two had become good friends. He also gave him valuable advice (again from his own experience of using chakra to control multiple puppets at once) to Nagato in how to more effectively maneuver his Six Paths of Pein bodies during battle, even helping Nagato to tweak them to better control their movements. Sasori shows Nagato (and ultimately, Pein) the same respect that he would a fellow master puppeteer. He approaches Pein now, in his own body. Pein leans down and kisses his cheek, and the two nod at each other before Sasori returns to his own room.

Itachi

“He murdered his entire clan in one evening.” “Are you sure?” “Well, all but his younger brother. But I’m sure if he ever got the chance —“ Nagato still remembers the conversation he had with Konan, the day before they brought Itachi into the Akatsuki. Nagato had been against it at first, believing that one who could commit such callous atrocities against his own clan and family would no doubt have trouble turning against a group of people that were strangers to him. But Itachi pleasantly surprised Nagato, with how calm, and quiet, and kind he was. He often forgets how young Itachi is, considering he speaks and acts like a man decades older. But still ... there was a sadness that could be felt whenever Itachi was in the room, tangible even to someone who’s “real” body was quite far away, like Nagato’s was. When Itachi comes to him, the Pein body reaches out and pulls the boy into a hug. Itachi seems surprised, but whether out of respect to the leader or because he truly needed it, he lets the embrace happen. The two stand there for longer than seems feasible, until Pein breaks it by gently kissing Itachi’s forehead. Itachi steps back, gives Pein a smile (which turns back the clock even more and makes Itachi seem like a child) and goes back to his room.

Deidara

Nagato felt real, valid concern when bringing the 15 year old Deidara into his group. Besides being the youngest, besides having that volatile temper and wanton pleasure in causing chaos and destruction ... the kid was beautiful. An odd word for a male, perhaps, but it was the most fitting term for him. In the Akatsuki it was more or less made clear that Konan was off-limits in terms of things like that, but Deidara ... with his long silky hair, big blue eyes, soft skin ... what was to stop one (or possibly ALL) of these older (and likely stronger) members from attempting to — but Nagato was lucky, in that everyone exhibited more self-control than he gave them credit for. And pairing him first with the older Sasori and then with the wily Tobi had seemed to be good choices, as well. One taught him maturity, and the other, patience. Although sometimes — “Oi, Leader ... can you talk to Kakuzu for me?” “For what?” “He won’t let me have an advance on my pay, because he says I’m just going to waste it on ‘my stupid clay’, hm!” “I do not interfere with the financial decisions of my treasurer, Deidara.” “But —“ Pein kisses his forehead and says, quietly, “Learn to exercise restraint when it comes to your artistic endeavors, Deidara.” Deidara grumbles as he walks away, and Pein smiles and shakes his head as he watches him go.

Kakuzu

“Pein. No matter what Deidara said to you, you won’t convince me to give him an advance on his pay. That boy is already three weeks into his money, and our budget simply won’t allow —“ “Do not fear, Kakuzu. I don’t intend to step on your toes regarding our finances.” Never in Nagato’s life has he met anybody quite so concerned with money as Kakuzu. He was strict not only with his own money, but every other member’s, as well. While Nagato found this to be a character flaw at first, now, he saw Kakuzu’s thriftiness and frugal tendencies as being a God-send. It was only because of him that they were able to move from hideout to hideout, to put food on the table, to buy clothes and weapons and any number of things that the group needed to survive. But his finance-savvy ways weren’t even the most impressive thing about him; it was the fact that he dealt with Hidan, day in and day out, and had not been driven to madness. The older man walks up to Pein now, lowers his mask, and delivers a light kiss to the cheek. Pein nods and watches as he leaves, noting, as he often did, his cold Kakuzu’s skin is. Nagato can feel it through Pein’s sensors; standing close to Kakuzu is much like standing in front of an open grave. He often felt that he should suggest redesigning Kakuzu’s Akatsuki robe to make it warmer, but Nagato knows that this suggestion would be rapidly rejected.

Zetsu

On the day that it is Pein’s turn under the mistletoe, Zetsu is nowhere to be found. Nagato knows where he is, of course; traveling through the earth at the speed of sound, going to scout out an enemy territory before the Akatsuki makes a move on it. Zetsu and his infiltration skills have helped Nagato countless times in the past, providing valuable intel on targets and mapping out the most problem-free routes for the rest of the group to take on missions. Still, though; there’s something about the plant-man that gave Nagato the slighter touch of unease. Being near Zetsu, even through the barrier of Pein, gave Nagato the feeling of being inches away from a wild animal. Hearing him speak was like listening to a dog that suddenly begins speaking in a human tongue. Nagato is very glad that Pein does not have to kiss this individual, and in fact hopes that his turn will end before Zetsu makes his inevitable return.

Tobi

Tobi, Tobi, Tobi ... such a confusing young man. Such a surprising young man. Many months ago, the Pein-body walked into Tobi’s room to retrieve him for something, and happened to catch him sleeping. Nagato was curious and made his artificial body approach the side of the bed that Tobi’s face was on ... but all Nagato was met with was darkness. A solid, blurred-out black where the boy’s face should have been. Nagato thought that perhaps something was malfunctioning in the Pein body’s ocular region ... but everything else was clear as a bell. Did Tobi have some kind of exterior defense mechanism set into place that would bar Pein, specifically Pein, from seeing his actual face? And if that was the case, then WHY? What exactly was he hiding?? It made Nagato nervous, but he never let this on to Tobi. “Pein-sama, Pein-sama! Is it Tobi’s turn for a kissy?!” Pein nods and Tobi approaches him, slides his mask halfway off ... and again all Pein can make out is blackness. He can feel his cheek being kissed, but his vision doesn’t return to 100% until Tobi’s mask is fully back in place. “Thanks, Pein-sama!”, Tobi says; and is it Nagato’s imagination or is there a touch of smugness to his voice? Well, regardless, the kid is leaving, and a Nagato can put him out of his mind once more.

Hidan

“I’ve had to kiss every single one of you fucks, including the old geezer and the orange idiot. Now I’ve gotta slobber with the boss too?? What’s next; are we are jumping into bed and having a group fuck?!” Nagato hadn’t rolled his eyes in many years (and rolling Pein’s eyes would have been an unbecoming gesture for a leader), but hearing Hidan speak always made Nagato want to break this self-imposed rule. With his additional bodies, his Rinnegan, his seemingly unlimited chakra and his fabled Uzumaki clan endurance, Nagato considers himself to be an earthbound God. But then this kid, this foul-mouthed violent crusader, comes into the group speaking about HIS God, Lord Jashin, and flaunting his (admittedly enviable) gift of immortality. From the very beginning, Hidan made it clear that offering sacrifices to his God was his main priority; and the kid wasn’t lying. It’s always been Pein’s (Nagato’s) mandate that as long as one completed their assigned mission, then they would be free to do as the my liked in their spare time. But Hidan’s preferred “hobby” left even someone as war-weary and hardened as Nagato feeling a bit queasy, in the pit of his stomach. “Come, Hidan.” Hidan visibly balks at being given an order; but he’s never love hesitated to obey the Leader. He goes to Pein and, after Pein studies his face, receives a kiss on the nose. The gesture is so light and whimsical that it leaves Hidan blushing and flustered, as evidenced by his leaving without uttering a single swear word.

Konan

The kiss between Konan and Pein is ... disappointingly short. Surprising, considering how close the two of them are, and how much Pein seems to care about her. But it’s a very quick forehead peck, and then both Pein and Konan retire to their rooms. The Pein-body shuts down in his own room, but Konan is getting dressed. It’s a somewhat lengthy journey, especially for this time of night, but one Konan is very familiar with. She comes every single day, after all, after everyone else is asleep or preoccupied for the evening. The old cave is so far into the woods, and from the outside seems abandoned, but ... “Nagato? I’m here.” Nagato turns his head and, although he’s happy to see her, can’t help but sigh. “You’re soaking wet.” Konan uses her cloak to wipe her face, telling him it’s not a big deal, just a little drizzle outside... but it is to Nagato. Trapped like this, a prisoner of his body and his hatred and pain ... anybody else would have walked out and left him years ago. But Konan, no matter what, she stayed by his side, and showed him more caring and comfort than Nagato felt he deserved. “I brought you some beef and curry rice tonight,” Konan said, now uncovering a small bowl. “It’s still warm.” She moves into position to feed him, and as she does, she quietly tells him little tidbits about her day. It’s solely through Konan that Nagato has any sense of the outside world at all, or any REAL idea about what the members of the Akatsuki are actually like. And he’s grateful to her. He’s grateful to her for so many — “Konan?” She looks up from where she’d been tidying up. “Yes?” “I’m so sorry.” She stops and looks at him, head tilted. “Sorry? What are you sorry about?” “I’m sorry that you’re not married, I’m sorry that you don’t have children, or a family, I’m sorry that you go from hideout to hideout and village to village and all you see is the same pain we saw when we were kids. And I’m sorry that things are only this way because of me. I couldn’t save Yahiko, and I’m destroying you, and any chance at happiness you could have had. I never meant for things to be this way. I’m —“ but Konan’s arms are around him before he can finish his sentence. “You’re a goddamn idiot,” she mumbles, her voice slightly shaky. “Yahiko dying wasn’t your fault, and my life — my life is full, and despite what you may believe, I’m happy, Nagato. This Akatsuki you’ve created; you’ve done two things. You’re fulfilling Yahiko’s dream, and you’ve given me, US, a family. So stop with this nonsense, okay?” “But I —“, and Konan interrupts him again, this time with a soft kiss on the cheek. Her lips breathe warmth and comfort into his chilled skin. “You’re the most important person on this earth to me, and I love you,” she murmurs as she pulls away, a smile on her face. “But I swear if you don’t cheer up, you’re not getting any of this dessert I made.” A pause, and then, with a smirk reminiscent of the shy boy he once was, “I’ll only cheer up if it’s something I like.” “Strawberry pie.” Nagato gives Konan an even bigger smile, to which she replies “That’s better”; and the two laugh. He feels like a weight has been lifted off of his heart. After dessert, he tries to mentally prepare himself for her leaving again ...but to his surprise she pulls a blanket from her satchel spreading it out neatly along the ground. “You’re staying tonight?” “I’m staying.” “Good. I love you, too, by the way.” “I know.” Before bed she spends a good deal of time gently brushing out his hair, telling him jokes and stories, the same that she used to do with him and Yahiko when they were all children, during those many long, cold nights when hunger or anxiety kept them awake. Neither is present now, but the goodness of the feeling remains the same. After awhile they both fall asleep, and for once their dreams are calm and peaceful.

#under the mistletoe #the akatsuki #kissing #nagato #pein #konan #kisame #itachi #zetsu #deidara #hidan #sasori #tobi #kakuzu #headcanon

[lambourngb]

If you are still doing this, to make it through (with hearts and wrists intact)

combining the wip ask with WIP Wednesday ! Alright, so there’s two remix challenges going on right now, but I didn’t sign up for either of them because I have enormous anxiety about deadlines and I’m also kind of a control freak about my work. I do love the concept, so I decided to remix my own work.

to make it through (with hearts and wrists intact) is a remix of Last Years Wishes. It is completely the fault of @haloud who mused aloud about what if Jesse got to use the shed on Michael. You guys remember what I did to the shed in LYW right? Yeah. Poor Michael. So while Alex is waiting at the Airstream, talking to agents Ross and Rollins, this is how Michael’s day is going....

[warnings: canon divergent within 1x13, mention of Michael’s feelings for Maria, but nothing happens past the discovery of Rosa’s body in the cave ]

“Old man, you are calling me on my day off,” Michael yelled into the receiver of his cell phone speaker over the rushing sound of air after picking up the call. 

The windows were down because his AC in his truck went on the frizz again sometime during when Max had stolen-borrowed it to drive Liz home from Texas, leaving him behind to share a long awkward ride with Maria in her classic Chevy. Awkward because he had been buzzing from the encounter in the desert. He hadn’t slept with anyone in weeks, not since Alex, and that had been a ridiculous attempt for him to pine in celibacy considering just how little the other man had missed him. Some things end in a whimper.

Texas had been about hope, about maybe finding someone who was connected to him on a species level. He hadn’t realized how deeply Max’s enthusiasm had sunk into him until the fraud had been revealed and disappointment had set in. Between Alex’s brusque brush off and realizing they really were alone on this planet, Michael hadn’t thought he could feel even lower with the weight of Isobel’s salvation fully on his shoulders (and Liz’s). Then shining like a bright star in the night sky, he had found Maria. 

She had effectively chased away the touch starved ghouls that had haunted his skin that night, he could still barely believe they had dropped right to the rocky ground and scratchy blanket to fuck. It was the type of raw passion he had with- no, in that particular moment he hadn’t thought about Alex but afterwards? He couldn’t avoid the connection the next morning, particularly when she had sworn him to secrecy, and then had reinforced it when she had fully kicked him out in the cold after he had returned her repaired necklace. 

It was unfortunate for her that he was already wired to enjoy a push-pull hot-cold dynamic.

Ten years of Alex Manes meant Michael had learned to read past a blustering denial to see the real truth. She really liked him, she just didn’t want to admit it, and good god, if that wasn’t a déjà vu moment for Michael, he didn’t know what was. Maybe it was stupid to believe it would work out any better with her than it had with Alex, but with Noah dead, his m- his reason for building his ship gone, what did it hurt to try again?

His healed hand curled around the grip on the steering wheel with a shiver of disorientation at the new flexibility, but he pushed it down to concentrate on that meager bubble of hope of what was ahead for him. Maria. Normalcy. When he had offered to leave her alone at the gala, she had refused to take him up on it. That's the problem, I never do. 

It had felt good to hear that, that he was wanted, even as he heard the conflict in her voice over what she desired versus what she thought she deserved to have. That was also painfully familiar to Michael as well.

Caulfield had seeped into his skin, three layers deep in the worst type of burn. That brief moment of his mother, wrapping around his mind with her love and sorrow and hope, and then she was gone. The screaming, that he had heard from outside the chain link fence, suddenly disappeared as the explosion moved outward in a shockwave. For a few minutes he had stood on solid ground in that prison, for the first time since a sweet boy had returned his kiss at seventeen under a galaxy of plastic foam planets, and then it was over. His mother was gone, and in her stead, he had Alex telling him that -

Michael forcefully pushed that thought away and returned his attention back to the cranky drawl of Walt Sanders, “I know kid, but I’m already out with the wrecker in the other ass-end direction, so I need you to go help this cry baby who can’t change a flat. Help me make some money, so I can afford to keep your ass employed.” 

“Fine, tell me the location, but this is holiday pay, not overtime.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sanders muttered, before rattling off the mile marker and the highway. “It’s a Lincoln sedan, black. Probably some old geezer out on a drive to church who ran into trouble.”

“You calling someone else a geezer is funny to me, I hope you know that,” Michael replied, hitting his turn signal to make a left to pick up the state road. It wasn’t as if he had a planned time to see Maria, the lunch hour and official opening of the bar was still an hour away. A little delay that made him some extra cash was doable. 

“Shut the hell up kid, and get going,” Sanders griped good-naturedly, before hanging up on Michael. 

The sun was bright overhead, the storm from the night before having washed the land and sky clean of clouds. Across the pavement ahead, the heat and the brightness, cast a mirage of dark shimmering water that creeped just out of reach as he drove toward his new destination. His mind ticked over the set of priorities ahead, to make a little money with a tire change, then to drop in on Maria to make his case, and finally, he knew he needed to swing by Isobel’s to check on her in the aftermath of Noah’s betrayal. Somewhere in all of that, he knew he would need to make it home to see Alex for that promised talk, but there was plenty of time for that because Alex rarely came by during the day to see him.

“I’m still fighting his battles, not mine.”

Michael flexed his hands on the steering wheel again and pushed down the heaviness in his heart that accompanied thinking about Alex. Ten long years of waiting and wanting him. If Michael cared to count up all of the trips to Roswell that Alex had made on leave, the two weeks together after the class reunion that frankly felt like a hallucination to Michael, all of those hours spent together would add up to a month. A month that stretched out over ten years, 520 weeks, or 3,650 days.

Counting the distance to the nearest star was in light years, but when it came to counting the distance between the stash of wedding rings he had purchased for Alex over the years and what he had been actually allowed to have with Alex, well, that was a calculation beyond the redshift spectrum. It would take energy to transverse that distance one more time, and Michael had nothing left inside to fuel that journey. He couldn’t afford to be lost in the black again, not with Isobel in free-fall from Noah’s years of manipulations, not with the prospect of telling Liz they had found Rosa’s body on the horizon. It was just too hard to believe that this time, with Alex calling him family, with Alex throwing back the closest declaration to love that he had ever made, actually meant he was ready to move toward Michael and work to cut the distance between them on his own.

It was better to head forward in a new direction, than to look back like Max had said. Besides, every other time he had failed to be enough of a reason to help Alex bridge his own chasm between what he wanted and what he had allowed himself to have. What could have changed? Caulfield had just cemented the complications for them both. 

A dark shadow in the distance, parked just off the road caught Michael’s attention. He glanced down at the odometer to mark the mileage and started to ease up on the gas. That must be the motorist Sanders had fielded a call from earlier, he realized. The ‘old geezer’ in the black Lincoln with a flat tire. He glanced in the rearview mirror to check for traffic but the road behind him was devoid of other vehicles. 

Michael hit the turn signal and hazard lights on his truck, turning briefly to the side to check that he had some spare water bottles for the customer and his toolbox within reach and then turned onto the shoulder of the highway. Mentally he was already five steps ahead of himself as he stepped out of the truck to approach the car, thinking about the size of socket to fit over the lug nuts for the Lincoln’s wheels, whether his torque wrench was even in his box, or if he would have to camouflage his telekinetic efforts to change out the tire, that it took a moment to realize the tires on the Lincoln were whole and unharmed on the driver’s side.

Puzzled, Michael slowed his approach, and started toward the passenger side of the car. The windows were rolled up and dark, the tint was straddling the threshold of legal for New Mexico. There was still no sign of defect in the tires, he noticed as he was halfway around the passenger fender. Faulty tire gauge, he mused before he noticed the engine was rumbling almost inaudibly. Fucking hybrid, which meant whatever issue it had been definitely beyond the parts available at Sanders.

It was a little odd that the driver hadn’t stepped out to greet Michael, but not terribly unusual when it came to elderly customers who seemed to have a healthy paranoia about everyone they encountered. Still, Michael pasted a smile on his face and tapped on the window. 

The automatic window slipped downward in an expensive whisper, but it wasn’t a helpless old man on his way to church at the wheel. 

Jesse Manes smiled at Michael flashing his teeth, “Surprise.” Before Michael could do more than step backward, Jesse lifted a large gun-shaped object and fired. Yellow particulate matter exploded into the air, enveloping Michael completely. Pulling his arm to his mouth to attempt to block the pollen, did little good as he felt the sedating effects almost immediately.

He coughed into the open air, scrambling back toward his truck on weak legs as he tried to clear his lungs of the fast-acting poison. Behind him, he heard the car door open, and the crunch of boots on the loose gravel from the road’s shoulder as Jesse approached him. Though his powers were gone and his strength was waning fast, Michael had never backed down from a fight in life.

Certainly, not a fight for his life.

Swinging with all of his might, he hurled his heavy toolbox at Jesse blindly. There was a thump and a curse, but the footsteps kept coming. Animal-like terror set in as Michael crawled now on his knees toward the cab of his truck. He had to move, he had to live, he wasn’t going to die here on the side of the damn road- Suddenly a black boot came down on his hand, pinning him place and lighting up a fierce agony of pain in its wake.

“I like the fight, Guerin, I do,” Jesse remarked with a quiet menace. “Shall I make this hand match your other-” 

It was on the tip of Michael’s tongue to point out the obvious, but then Jesse saw it for himself. His left hand, healed and pristine, clutching at the hot blacktop surface. 

“I see.” He barked out a laugh that chilled Michael. “I knew it. I knew you weren’t the only one in Roswell. I thought about killing you right here you know, but now, you might finally serve a purpose in your useless life. You thought you could use my son in your perverted schemes? Well now it’s your turn to be bait.” 

Michael’s vision was already fading into blindness with the pollen taking hold, but he managed to spit out between numb lips, “Go fuck yourself.”

“Not today. You’re the one who is fucked.” A hand grabbed a tight hold of Michael’s hair, wrenching him backward, and then it was merciful darkness. 

*** 

#malex fic #wip wednesday #last years wishes universe #wip meme #michael guerin #jesse manes is his own warning #Anonymous

[passionandpurposeblog-blog]

Sexuality: No More to say and so over it

A few months after my long term girlfriend and I split up, I ended up in bed with Phillip, A nice guy that I’d known for some time. During the post-sex talk, he turns and asks “So does that mean you’re straight now?” 

“LMFAO” 

‘You’ve got a nice cock and I had a great orgasm, …..but you haven’t awoken anything in me that wasn’t already there. You cannot ‘make’ me straight and no one forced me to fuck you’ 

Infact, No one else would sexually awaken anything in me. Not the next guy after Phil, or the guy after that guy, or the girl after the guy after Phil. The list goes on and the list started waaaay back into my early teens. I've always been open, I was experimenting with drugs and people at a young age, I had a threesome with a guy and a girl when I was just 18. When I look back, I must admit that was very young for such an experience, but I just went with the flow. I don’t regret it, but I wish I had done it at a later age to really make the most of it and have the emotional maturity that you need to go with it. 

I’ve been listening to an interview with Kate Pierson (B52’s) and she has recently married her long term partner, a woman that she has dated for 15 years. She said that she had always dated men, and was even married before and that this lady came along and bang she was in love, just like that. Kate Pierson is now 71, So this is her 55-year-old self experiencing a major transition and shift in her life. Whilst trawling through the B52s back catalog online I read so many comments from random fans. ‘She's a lesbian’ ‘I never knew’ ‘But she was married to so and so’ and this is exactly the snooze fest that I am writing about today. Yawn...... If she spent 40 years with different men and now met a woman, perhaps shes just er just bisexual? And more importantly, shouldn’t we be interested in the music and her voice? As much as I love her, when all is said and done I don’t really want to think about the bedroom antics of a 71-year-old yknow.  

What is it with the labels?  

It’s like no one is comfortable until they know exactly which box you belong in, and if you stray from that box then their tiny minds scramble and system overload occurs. ‘ANNOUNCE YOURSELF AT ONCE’ ‘What are you?’ and ‘Don’t you dare have options or change, it doesn’t fit with the label I’ve prescribed you’.  

Before we label Kate a lesbian, how about we mention that she’s a brilliant talented vocalist with over 40 years in the band? Or is that how we are defining her now ‘The lesbian’?. *Insert laughing emoji here* 

“Bisexuals always get dumped on,” says Cynthia Nixon from Sex in the City...The Media has too labeled her a lesbian when much like Kate Pierson, she was in fact with men and entered into this new world later on in her life. It’s like now we must erase her whole previous life and deny that any man has ever come close to her! How dare she now turnaround and say she's’ attracted to men! How fucking dare she, she’s lesbian property now and she has no voice! She never said she was anything, You did!   

I thought, ‘I get it! I get You, I just get it’. She’s attracted to people, they may be male or they may be female yet shes being kettled to a place she never asked to be. It really is that simple. Should her current relationship end, nothing stops her going back to men, dating another woman or even staying single. Your past partners do not mean that your future self is set in stone. It’s not difficult to understand really is it?  

But! And there is a But!  

Say Cinthia and her gf/wife did break up and she dated a man. She won’t find it that easy, because of what I call, the whole ‘lesbian fragility’ - Gay women who pride themselves on being with women and only women and god fucking forbid should you show any interest in a guy. Well, You are now damaged goods my girl. A sell-out, banished!....exiled from the pride....like the Lioness in last weeks BBC Planet Earth. How can you and the gay community ever really watch the L Word again together or listen to Ani Difranco in the same way? ‘It’s just not the same’ they’ll whine.  

I’m being serious. There is a reverse discrimination within the gay community! I’ve seen it first hand. I’ve seen a few women in same sex relationships end, then go for a guy and their ‘friends’ no longer feel the same way about them, there’s no time to hang out anymore and she is “too busy with her straight friends”.  

Awwwww did someone emasculate you? 

I’ve never really enjoyed the company of gay women if I'm honest. I always found their friendships forged on sharing of sexual preference rather than common interest, views or hobbies. I usually think their haircuts are shit and they present me with this feeling where they are unsure if they want to fuck me or fight me. Very awkward, not to mention its a very childish and incestuous scene.  

I have seen this so many times with women, either in a same sex or opposite and then switch later on down the line which is what I mean about experience and just understanding those around you. I think a lot of women are on the bi spectrum. Not all, no, but a lot are, and sexuality is fluid.  About three months ago my cock hungry straight friend told me she’d met some woman online and is now having the best sex of her life! Great, wonderful, Whoppie.  So how do I label her? …....‘Err Mary’......... I label her Mary. I can’t really call her cock hungry right now, so I’ll just label her ‘Hungry Mary’. 

One of my oldest friends is gay – full blown lesbian, never been with a guy but totally cool with every bi girl that has. She and I sit on a different part of the spectrum, but she gets it and like myself she gives those around her that mutual respect and safe space to be who they are. If she turned around tomorrow and said she’s dating a guy, I wouldn’t be shocked, not because she has ever indicated that she likes guys, but simply because people change.  

I know three guys that have also experimented with other guys, would identify as straight and two of the three have long term girlfriends and kids. I just think at the time they took the ‘any holes a goal’ attitude and like my younger self, just went with the flow. 

As we age and grow the fuck up, this should be more accepted and we should just allow people to do who and what they want without the questions, especially the silly questions. It’s really mind numbingly boring, not to mention so nosey!? Jeez, get your own life in order. Despite my ramblings, I'm actually a pretty private person.  I just don’t discuss my private life or anyone I’m dating, I have so many transient non-committal interactions with people that I just don’t feel I need to. 

 I’ve been chatting to some people for ages, and I still wouldn’t discuss parts of my life with them. I keep my circle so small, and If we don’t click like that, we don’t click like that. It’s cool, because there is far more to me and far more to you than who we have in our beds right? I cant imagine meeting someone and asking them, “so what are ya?” CRINGE. I’d die. I’ve got some friends that I’ve spoken to for years, we’ve had really great conversations and it’s never occurred to me to stop and ask ‘do you have a partner? Are you gay?’  

The small circle of friends that I have know me, they get me and that’s my safe space.  

I do find some of the questions and statements really annoying, and if I’m honest just plain weird. I have an irritating male friend in that likes to continually remind me that I’m attracted to women, and of course, there is no way that I can be attracted to men, because I’m not attracted to him..... *eye roll* Dick! It’s like me saying to someone, ‘but you said you like mixed raced girls, so why don’t you like me’ it’s really really weird and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Its uncomfortable because he cannot address or acknowledge his own fascination with bisexuality and cannot stop mentioning it every time he sees me? He makes out he is cool and open-minded, yet I seem to be the topic of convo or butt of his jokes. Address your homophobia or your weird unrequited sexualisation of me whatever the issue is. Seek help mate, Your issue not mine. 

I cannot recall being asked what two women do in bed, but I have heard of it being asked to other people. It’s hilarious. I honestly believe that if you are over 25 and cannot work that out then you have a really dull imagination and I’d bet you are not very experienced. Not necessarily in bedding two women at once, but just in experiencing people; hearing their stories, watching porn, understanding their anatomy and physiology. OR You are being a menace and condescending..... I’ve never seen two men at it live, but I’m pretty sure I know how it goes down ;-)  

Sometime ago I spent a fair amount of time at a bdsm sex dungeon helping out an old friend. Id mostly film her sessions, and now and then Id help out by giving some guys the odd little kick in the nuts etc. Boy, I could write a whole new blog on that experience LOL! I saw some things!  

Meeting all the different types of people that came in the dungeon really opened my eyes to the world of sex and sexuality and just what turns people on. You really cannot judge what people are into, and you’d never know. It’s funny, the ‘geezers’ that make the gay jokes about bumming are often the same ones that ask the women to wear strap ons ;-). People have their quirks and their kinks, they just hide it well BELIEVE me. 

I’ve seen a lot and I’m very open and not much phases me, but because I’m not phased, or excited by the gossip or the fascination of it all I'm over it. …....over the labels, the questions, the presumptions, opinions and the basic inability to let people do what they want in peace. So because of this I decided a long time ago that I’m actually over my sexuality and stopped speaking about it  back in my twenties. 

Yawn.  

No one owns me and no one dictates.

I’m not anything, I’m just me in that particular point of time. No path is set and I answer to no one except who’s in my bed. 

Keep your own truth

#sexulaity #bisexuality fragility homophobia lgbt straight labels b52s #sexuality #cockhungry

[ladymacbethsspot]

Everyone’s Wingman

[Written for Erwin Week 2017 Day 3- Commander Handsome] Apparently I’m incapable of writing short things. A tale of gentlemanly actions in 6 little parts.

I.

The straight razor moves slowly along skin pulled tight against his jaw. A flick of the wrist sends soap into the washbasin. The motion repeats until his face is smooth.

This is a big night in the capital. All the Scouting Legion’s most fervent supporters (and detractors) will be present at the celebration. Erwin likes these parties. He’s good at charming nobles, and how can anyone dislike something they’re good at?

He pulls the dark jacket of his dress uniform on and pins on medals and decorations. Everything in its place. 

Fingers pause for a moment, ghosts of lost soldiers behind each insincere piece of cold metal rising to mind.

They would understand. He does this for them, to make their sacrifice so much more. To redeem them, he thinks, smoothing the jacket.

He pulls immaculately shined boots on, a pair that’s never seen the dirt of combat or blood of Titans and comrades alike. It’s unfair, how unstained and unyielding they are. The boots? Perhaps the nobles.

But tonight is a game, one Erwin will win.

II.

The dull thrum of conversation is little more than white noise as Erwin passes from one group to the next. A few words float through the din, catching his interest.

“…but that type…not what they’re paid for…blasphemous, if you believe the Wallists…”

He located the speaker easily and approaches the aged man and his two younger companions.

“Ah, Commander Smith,” a young man waves him over, “We were just discussing the merits of Titan research.”

“Merits?” The elderly man guffaws, “More like the waste of precious time and money!”

“I assure you sirs,” Erwin responds, fixing the men with a serious look, “that any research we conduct is purely incidental and only into the technical aspects of how best to dispatch Titans to protect the citizenry.”

The older man bristles, “What about that crazy soldier in charge? Hanji, I believe? I heard they don’t even have any formal academic training!”

Erwin smiles reassuringly, nods in agreement. “That is true. However, Hanji is one of the cleverest soldiers I have ever had the pleasure of leading.” The two younger men nod along, impressed by the high praise.

“Let me ask you, sir,” Erwin continues, a hunter quietly laying his trap, “In your expert opinion, is it more important to have thought deeply about doing a thing, or to have done it?”

“To have done it, obviously.”

Erwin nods sagely. “I agree, and what Hanji lacks in formal training is more than made up for by first-hand experience.”

The old man closes his mouth quickly against further protest. Erwin looks briefly to the two younger nobles. They seem pleased, no love lost between them and the geezer. Two more supporters for the cause.

 III.

He weaves through the crowd, flashing charming smiles and nodding knowingly whenever someone meets his eyes. There’s no need to know everyone, to remember their names or the minutiae of their lives when a flash of white teeth or a conspiratorial gaze will do.

A little further, standing in a group of unflatteringly overdressed noblewomen stands the figure of his comrade and old friend. Erwin makes for him quickly, dodging a plate of hors devours and avoiding a proffered glass of wine.

“Mike,” Erwin claps a hand on the tall man’s shoulder. Mike turns and gives Erwin a tired look. The conversation of the group finally reaches Erwin’s ears.

“It’s just bizarre, that’s what it is,” a woman with makeup so thick it renders her face a garish mask, pouts.

“What seems to be the problem here?” Erwin schools his voice to its most calming register.

“Well…” The woman averts her eyes, “He keeps sniffing me and it’s just the type of poor manners I’d expect from his type,” her finger points accusingly at Mike, or rather at his nose.

Erwin sighs, shrugging his shoulders guiltily. “That is my fault entirely. Mike has recently recovered from a grave illness - we are lucky that he’s with us today. I thought the ball would improve his spirits- he hasn’t been able to get out much recently.” At the words sympathy shows through the woman’s heavily-painted features.

“My apologies, if I had known…”

Mike sniffs again and smiles, looking at the woman. “That perfume is lovely- an herbal, petally scent, yes?” The woman lowers her eyes, a caricature of the demure.

“Why yes,” she murmurs, “It’s a floral with lavender.” The conversation picks back up, offense forgotten.

Erwin and Mike exchange banter, artfully dispatching small talk and playing off each other with an ease born of familiarity. The stoic quiet of Mike and the smooth charm of Erwin is a guaranteed crowd pleaser.

As Erwin moves to leave he winks at Mike and presses back into the crowd.

 IV.

On his way to get a glass of wine (or something stronger considering how many more hours he has left to go) Erwin notices the lovely Nanaba.

She is stunning tonight, having chosen an elegant dark gown over the dress uniform, and Erwin is pleased with his decision to invite her. She’ll have no trouble gaining the Scouts more ardent supporters, whatever their true motives.

But something is amiss. The way she leans away from the man speaking with her. How her hands cross subtly at her thigh and her back seems tense, almost rigid.

Erwin approaches quickly and hears the man’s patronizing tone.

“But come now, there can’t possibly be anyone in the Scouts here tonight that you’d rather dance with, can there? A soldier like yourself should feel flattered that a noble has taken such interest.”

Erwin glides up next to Nanaba, his face showing great relief, “Nanaba, there you are, I’ve been looking all over.”

Nanaba takes the cue easily, “Oh, Commander, I must have lost track of the time. I hope you don’t think I’d break a promise.”

The noble scowls, looking between the two with narrowed eyes. “Commander, what business could you possibly have with a soldier tonight, at a celebration?” He challenges Erwin, smirking.

“Why,” Erwin responds, catching Nanaba’s graceful fingers in his own calloused ones, “Nanaba promised me a waltz tonight, and I do believe that’s exactly what the orchestra is playing.” He smiles apologetically at the silently fuming man.

They make their way to the dance floor, and only when the man can no longer spy does Nanaba relax.

“Thanks Erwin, that noble just would not give up.”

Erwin places a palm gently on her waist, taking her offered hand in his other as they begin the waltz. “It’s the least I could do, after all, I’m the one who made you come here tonight. Besides, I’d never hear the end of it from Mike if I hadn’t.”

Nanaba laughs, genuine and sparkling. “Always the gentleman, aren’t you,” she teases.

 V.

The night reaches a point where guests who were going to overindulge already have, conversations becoming colorful and deadly. Erwin notices an uncharacteristically quiet group- four nobleman clearly gossiping. His body is already turning to avoid them when one calls him over.

“Ah, Commander Smith, we were just having a discussion and hoped you might weigh in on it. It’s to settle a bit of a bet really.”

Erwin turns, and joins the men. One looks like a merchant, there’s a blonde noble and his father, and the fourth not worth description other than his unusually large nose. “What sort of bet is it that I can help you gentlemen settle? I’m afraid I may be out of practice when it comes to most gambling games…”

“Oh, we simply want some insider knowledge,” the merchant assures, adding, “We’re all curious about the Little Captain, Levi.” The merchant’s smile is fixed and predatory. Erwin feels unease but would prefer to diffuse the situation.

“Well,” Erwin chuckles, “I wouldn’t recommend calling him that to his face, but what is it you’d like to know about the Captain?”

The large-nosed man sneers, “We’re simply calling a spade a spade. Tell us, is his skill truly what has earned him advancement so quickly in the ranks?” The question is a grating taunt. “Is he really Humanity’s Strongest?”

“He’s more skilled in combat than any soldier I have ever led.” A simple reply seems the most direct- Erwin supplies it easily. With that the gates erupt, words pouring from the men in quick succession, their tones accusatory.

“I heard he’s a filthy urchin from the Underground.”

“I heard he cannot even read.”

“I heard that he spends military funds on his own private luxuries, that’s embezzlement!”

“I heard that he’s a pervert.”

“There is some truth to that, definitely not, these are accusations I shall investigate, and- excuse me?” Erwin pauses at the last statement.

“But then, I heard that you’re also a pervert. Commander. Pervert.” The large-nosed man sneers.

Erwin’s eyebrows travel up his forehead at the brazen rudeness, “I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me. Levi is a pervert. Everyone says it. Though you’re no better- probably worse. After all, he didn’t really earn that promotion on the battlefield, did he? No, a small, delicate, man like that- it’s much more likely he earned it by dispensing certain favors to his Commander.” Eyes meet in challenge, one pair muddy brown, one a striking blue- Erwin’s contained anger showing only in this single feature. Erwin does not look away as he slowly speaks.

“It is true that Levi is a small man, it’s evident to anyone who has seen him. He’s rude, foul-mouthed, and tactless. His habits are sometimes odd and he lacks the respect for authority most soldiers find second nature. However, Levi is loyal to a fault, has earned the respect and admiration of his peers and subordinates, and has killed more Titans than anyone- period.”

His speech finished, Erwin looks steadily around the group, forcing each man to hold his gaze in turn. Most of them look away. The large-nosed man does not.

“So, you’re not denying it then?” Large-nose prods.

“Think what you will. I’d rather be a pervert than a fool.” Erwin turns on his heel and leaves the men, an uncomfortable silence in his wake.

 VI.

Champagne isn’t enough to chase away the growing unease. Erwin grabs two more glasses and continues his search. He’s located Mike, Nanaba, even Hanji in the pulsing throng. But not Levi. He heads to the last place he can think of, the large balcony on the other side of the dance floor. It’s mostly peopled by lovers and a few drunks, bumping gently into each other and murmuring quietly.

The sky spreads out above, quiet and unfouled by the night’s debauchery, the innumerable slights to his soldiers- to himself. He spots a compact figure leaning on the railing. The man stands apart, dark hair shorn cruelly close at his neck, dress uniform impossibly neat even at this late hour. Erwin approaches, silently offering champagne. Levi turns and takes the glass, sipping a small amount as Erwin throws his own back quickly.

“Having a shitty night?” The small man asks.

“Yes,” for once Erwin feels no need to supply more, to lie, charm, or distract.

“Welcome to the club,” Levi drawls.

The night air is cool, the stars distant observers over the city. Silence stretches between them, a welcome respite.

“Is this why you hate these things?” Erwin asks, remembering his earlier conversation.

“What?”

Erwin realizes he must explain, Levi isn’t a mind-reader after all, despite how well he usually creates that illusion.

“The rumors, the teasing, everyone being so… despicable.” Erwin finishes lamely. Levi looks at him, curious, but doesn’t press for more. Instead he sips champagne thoughtfully before answering.

“Yes. I hate these events. Half of them just want to suck up. I prefer that, the other half are worse. Trying to get in my pants, insulting me, lording their wealth or prestige over me like I owe them something.” Levi sips calmly. “It makes me wonder what it means to fight for humanity, whether we deserve the Titans.”

Erwin shakes his head, realizing just how difficult the things that come to him easily can be for his soldiers. How much they endure for him. No matter how much he gives he’ll never feel that the debt has been returned.

“They called you a pervert,” Erwin murmurs, “Me too. Accused us of being romantically involved.” Levi snorts and downs the rest of the champagne.

“And?” Levi asks, quietly.

Erwin leans a little closer, his words only for Levi to hear. “I didn’t correct them.” Erwin smiles, a small genuine expression. Levi turns away, staring up at the sky, but Erwin can see the slight red tinge on his pale neck.

#erwinweek #fanfiction #eruri #levi ackerman #mike zacharias #hanji zoë #nanaba #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #lowkey eruri #my writing