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illfoandillfie · 3 years

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going under a cut because its long lmao

tarot cards: Queen of Cups, 3 of swords, king of pentacles, knight of wands, 2 of wands, 10 of wands, king of pentacles, the world

okay, before i jump into these cards i just wanted to note that while i was shuffling i had a few cards sort of flip over or like stick out at the wrong angle and i definitely saw the 9 of swords and 8 of swords which both speak to the hopeless/stuck feelings you’ve been having. but neither card fell out or was drawn they just sort of showed themselves to me which means that these feelings aren’t likely to stick around. It’s definitely tied more to your current energy than your future energy.

While i was drawing these cards I was asking about what’s coming in your near future so I was thinking the next few months but timing can be hard to place so if things don’t happen immediately, don’t worry about it, it doesn’t mean they never will.

So, now to the actual cards. First up the queen of cups and the 2 of wands. I think this is a call for compassion and kindness, probably towards yourself. The two of wands is about a desire for the unknown. Making plans, deliberating, hesitating. And the queen of cups is calm and comforting and compassionate. Together these are a reminder to not beat yourself up for what is out of your control. Sometimes circumstances keep us from getting what we really want. Sometimes it’s our own fears or uncertainty but sometimes it’s to do with family or work or the state of the world. But, sometimes the delay can be a blessing. It’s a good time to reflect on what you want and plan for how you can bring it about. The queen of cups can be read as a visionary. She is wise and devoted and is tied to dreams becoming reality. If things don’t seem to be progressing, use this time to take care of yourself and get in touch with your own needs and desires. Figure out what you’re looking for so that you recognise it when you see it.

Next up is the 3 of swords and the 10 of wands. Admittedly, neither of these are especially happy cards. The 3 of swords in particular is tied to heartache and suffering, disruptive forces, and absence. You feel as if something is missing and its weighing on you. Similarly the 10 of wands is symbolic of burdens and suffering but it’s a hopeful card. It’s also about success, though it might come at a cost, and accomplishment. This is a promise that things will turn around for you within the near future, that they’ll get better. It won’t be easy, sometimes it will be a great struggle as if you’re carrying more than you should be, but there is success at the end of it.

Because next up we have double king of pentacles. I gasped when the second king came out because it doesn’t happen very often and I remember the king of pentacles came up in your previous readings. As I’m sure I have said before, the king of pents signifies abundance, prosperity and security but i won’t go too deep into what qualities he’s tied too since i’ve said it before. What I will talk about is why he’s appeared twice in the same column. So, if we look at your cards so far, we have a mix of hurt and hope. And i think thats why the king of pents is in there twice. Because his absence is part of the hurt right now but his potential arrival is part of the hope. He represents both what is missing and what you’re trying to find. But, hopefully his showing up here is a sign that he could approach soon. Like I said in our chat, it’s not guaranteed and you need to put in effort to meet him or, if you think you know who it is, to connect with him, but I do think his appearance here twice is a good sign.

And finally, the knight of wands and the world. The knight of wands is about action and adventure and energy. He’s on the move, he’s confident and excited and fearless. And the world is about fulfilment and harmony and completion. It’s assured success. It might come after a long journey but it will come. Interestingly the knight of wands is also linked to travel and departure and altered plans. He can represent absence as well as distance so again we have that duality of hurt and hope. This may be a sign that the king of pents was meant to come towards you sooner but circumstances changed and he’s had to change course. It could also be a message for you to try to overcome whatever limits you are placing on yourself to manifest this relationship. At a very basic level or could also just indicate that the king of pents, whoever his is, is linked to travel somehow - maybe he travels for work or he just likes taking trips or maybe you’ll meet him while commuting somewhere. Either way, stay open to the possibility of meeting him. Stay hopeful that it will work out. Because, as scary or hard as that 3 of swords may feel, there is a lot to be hopeful about in here.

a couple of other things i want to point out:

We start with the queen of cups and the last card of that row is the knight of wands. their energies are very different. the queen is soft and tender and empathetic. She’s calm and soothing and still. the knight is bold and courageous and ambitious. he’s about movement and taking chances because he feels bulletproof. this could be a message about what you can do to help manifest your king. Take action, put yourself out there, don’t be afraid to cut loose and show your passionate side. (Or, because its hard not to be afraid, fake it until you make it. act confident until confidence is second nature.)

Then, the second row. It starts with the 2 of wands which is a card that usually depicts a man holding a globe to signify his desires. And then we end with The World. If that’s not a hopeful message then i don’t know what is.

okay, onto your oracles.

I started with a crystal spirit and you got number 6 - Aqua Aura Quartz. It represents: Connecting to infinite potential, a renewed sense of purpose, wonder, and awe. I don’t always quote directly from the guidebook but theres a little second in there that i feel really fits with your situation so i’m gonna quote it. It says: There are eight billion people on this planet, yet soul mates somehow find each other, friends and lovers show up in the most unexpected places, and love makes itself known just as you are beginning to doubt that is is out there for you. Aqua Aura Quartz Spirit’s message to you today is to become childlike with wonder. Believe in magic. Believe in the power of love to find its way to you no matter how dark the house, for love is everywhere and you have not been forgotten. As an aside, if you’re into numerology the number 6 may hold significance for you - it could be related to your life path number or it could be an important date (6th of feb/march? something in june?).

After that I pulled a Moonology card and you got Full Moon in Scorpio - It’s time to release negativity. This is definitely a sign to try and shake off the hopelessness you’ve been feeling. I know that’s probably easier said than done but it would be worth it to try.

While we’re on the subject of the moon and astrology, I got 2 Arcana of Astrology cards the Waxing Crescent Moon and the Ninth House. The waxing crescent represents growth and initiative. Growth comes in two phases. firstly, the obstacles which are negative patters from the past and secondly, the actions which are changes made to move forward. This card indicates that now is a good time to focus on that second part of growth. Focus your energy towards what you want to accomplish rather than what has happened in the past. Then the ninth house which is the realm of philosophy. It’s about knowledge and truth and the desire for understanding. This card is letting you know that now is the right time to look outside your comfort zone and explore new ideas or opportunities. Interestingly the ninth house in astrology can also involve travel and exploration which definitely ties in into some of your tarot cards.

Next we have a Dragon Path card - number 8, Magic and Manifestation. These dragons are here to help you turn your dreams into reality. Because you pulled this card I also pulled you some cards from my Making Magic deck. Originally I just wanted 1 but 3 popped out at once so I took them all. These cards all depict a sigil or symbol that can be used in spellwork or that you can focus on to help manifest what you want. They are: Love Charm - Attract a lover, soul mate or life partner / Triple Spiral - Listening to divine wisdom and joyfully learning life’s lessons. / Goddess - Healing feminine energy. Obviously love charm is a good fit but I think the others are as well. A lot of these cards have related to healing and moving forward and then the triple spiral really seemed to fit in with the knowledge thing in the ninth house and potentially with the visionary aspect of the queen of cups.

Tarot: 3 of cups, 3 of swords, 3 of wands, queen of pentacles, ace of swords, 4 of pentacles, 6 of cups, 2 of cups.

Okay. so onto the second part of the reading. With these cards I was trying to focus on getting more info about you person, the king of pents, the soul mate, whatever you want to call them.

So right off the bat I have to point out the 3 different 3s. I can assure you these cards were well shuffled and it wasn’t like they all came out in a clump together, it was one and then some shuffling and then the next and then shuffling and then the third one. I was very surprised to have so many 3s come out together. The 3s represent sociability and group communications as well as coming change. The only one that isn’t there is the 3 of pentacles which is usually related to group work - people collaborating and working together.

So lets start with that 3 of cups. This card is about friendship and community and happiness. Often it depicts a group of women drinking and dancing together so it’s very much about gatherings and parties and social settings but at a deeper level its about knowing someone has your back, that you’ve got people you can trust to help you. It’s being clarified by the ace of wands (these are Friends themed playing cards and each has the name of an episode on them so i’ll include those, in case they hold significance - perhaps one of the storylines will be relevant. The ace of swords is The One Where Rachel Finds Out). The ace of swords is about breakthroughs, clarity, the truth, and having a sharp mind. It may be that someone you know will help you clarify the situation or that a breakthrough will occur at a party or other social event. This could also be saying that, when you eventually meet this person, they will become a valued friend, someone who you can trust, someone you can turn to.

Then we have that pesky 3 of swords card again, same as in the previous part of the reading. All that heartache and pain again. This time it’s with the 4 of pentacles (The One With All The Wedding Dresses) which is about holding what you have close. In worst case scenarios the 4 of pents can reference hoarding or holding onto something for fear of losing it but at it’s highest vibration it’s about protecting what is yours. Together this could be a message of “no pain no gain”. Without going through the grief of the 3 of swords you can’t appreciate the security or conservation of the 4 of pents. This could also be a sign or warning for you or your person about not letting pain of the past manifest in overly clingy or needy displays once you are together. On the other hand it could be about turning past hurts and present worries into affection and care. In relation to your person, these cards may symbolise that they’re financially stable or prone to being careful with money. Perhaps they have been through patches of having little to live off so are careful with how they spend what they now have.

Then we have the 3 of wands and 6 of cups. The 3 of wands is related to growth and expansion and looking ahead. It’s about preparation, getting ready for something. The 6 of cups (The One With The Proposal) id related to familiarity, happy memories and healing. Often this card comes up in relation to past life connections (if you’re into that) or people you’ve previously met. There’s momentum here. The 3 of wands suggests you’re getting ready for them, looking ahead to when you may meet and the 6 of cups suggests moving on from past pain or trauma that’s been holding you back. In relation to your person these cards suggest there could be an element of familiarity between you - perhaps you met once a few years ago or you’ve heard about them from a friend and feel as if you have an idea of them already. The 3 of wands also has a connection to travel so, again, it might be that they travel a lot or have travelled in the past or they’re someone who enjoys visiting new places and seeing new things. It could also be that they’re a joyful sort of person, perhaps a bit silly or jokey.

And then we have the Queen of Pentcles and the 2 of cups. I think it was in one of your previous readings that you came up as the queen of pents. Certainly, if this person is the king of pents it makes sense for the queen to be you. And especially with the 2 of cups (The One With Ross’s New Girlfriend) clarifying it. As I’ve said before the 2 of cups is about connection and partnership and unity. It’s pretty much the ideal soul mate card. So, that’s a pretty great note to end this part of the reading on.

And lastly, the oracles. I didn’t intend to pull quite so many but this is what came out so this is what we’re going with.

First up here’s what the 3 heart shaped cards have to say: When it comes to matters of the heart, there is no right or wrong. Every choice you make expands your understanding of life and love. / Time - You are trying too hard. Give it time. / Embrace - Through each other you find the missing pieces. So there’s definitely a sense of slowing down, not rushing or trying to force something that isn’t there. But there’s also reassurance that this connection is reachable and will be deep and what you’re looking for. Soul Mate, Twin Flame, that kind of thing.

Then we have 3 romance angels: Make The Effort - Great love is worth taking the steps you’re guided to take. / Let Your Friends Help You - Ask for and accept support from others. / Forgiving And Learning - As you release and heal the past, you experience more love in your present moments. Interestingly while the previous cards were saying to give things time, these ones seem to suggest making active moves to make it happen. I think there’s a balance required. One that you will intuitively be able to work out. Somewhere between sitting at home and waiting for him to magically appear, and going out with every guy in your town or city. If you meet someone or know someone you think could be the right person, take whatever steps you feel are right. I also think the Let Your Friends Help card is important considering how many 3s we got in the tarot cards. It may be that this connection is possible through a friend or family member who can set you up or will help you approach them. And the last one has that same healing energy we’ve seen a few times in this reading.

You also got 2 Spellcasting oracles. Happiness and Manifestation. Both of these make sense really. They both indicate a positive outlook and happy outcomes. Manifestation can also be about patience as it’s not an instantaneous thing which ties into that Time heart card.

And finally I got 2 Destiny cards as well - Boldness and Compassion. These could be traits that your person will show but interestingly they can be linked to the knight of wands and queen of cups from the beginning of the reading.

#card readings

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galleywinter · 5 years

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Anon from ShadowPhoenixRider, I'd honestly love to hear your perspective on Anduin.

Okay, so this took longer to get to than I intended (I’m so sorry - I’m a mom and things with the kids got unexpectedly busy last night), and is ridiculously long. I’m not sure that’s apology worthy, but if you were expecting something concise, I do apologize.

There are a lot of things that lead to Anduin becoming who he is, and I intend to delve into all of them, but let’s start at the top with an overview. Let’s talk about Anduin Llane Wrynn.

Anduin, as a character, is really problematic for me simply by virtue of who he is. That is to say, if he were anyone other than the only child of Varian Wrynn, sole heir to - and now ruler of - Stormwind, I’d think he was (probably) an all right sort of kid. Whiny, selfish, but he largely grew out of the first one and is coming around (marginally) on the second one, but he’s only eighteen when Battle for Azeroth launches. He’s a kid. Being whiny and selfish when you’re small are normal. Learning how to grow past those is normal. And ultimately, no matter how you feel about him, I think everyone can agree that his heart is mostly in the right place.

Despite this, Anduin’s largest problem as a character on whole is that his flaws [and he does have them - he’s painfully naive and ridiculously stubborn. He’s selfish and refuses to take counsel from anyone. Like his father, he has a quick temper (that is usually deployed against his father)] are never allowed to be flaws in the narrative. Flaws are what make a character rounded and interesting. Flaws are what make them relatable. Flaws are necessary for good character development. But the narrative never treats his flaws like flaws. Nothing is ever, ultimately, Anduin’s fault no matter how much it should have been. The narrative consistently treats his flaws as someone else’s problem or Anduin’s actions or failings as justified.

The Shattering, for me, was actually one of the first and most egregious examples of the problem.

To the point of The Shattering’s release, we’d had some fairly small exposure to Varian. We’d had his comic book, we’d had a few moments in Arthas, and we’d had the game. The image we were presented with was complex and, to me, compelling, but most of all, it was consistent: Varian was a survivor of multiple severe emotional traumas, he had a bit of a temper problem, but he was a good king who loved his people (more on this later). Additionally, he was consistently shown to both hate politics but be stunningly good at them. He was canonically called out as being a genius tactician.

So keeping that in mind, several of Varian’s reactions in The Shattering make sense. To his knowledge, a hostile force has lain siege to Ironforge and locked it down. His son - his only child, his only link to his late wife, and his sole heir - is there and being held hostage. He knows he needs to back up his ally and desperately wants to rescue his son, so he goes about it in the most intelligent manner possible: he leads a covert raid to cut the head off the snake. When he reaches his goal, however, his son - his twelve-year-old son - treats him as if he’s a dog who’s dragged poo on the carpet. The narrative backs this up rather than treating Varian as a skilled tactician, politician, parent, and adult. The narrative allows Anduin’s chastisement to not only stand but to be justified. (Regardless of Moira’s legitimate claim to Ironforge and how much I’ve grown to like her as a character, I still stand by Varian’s initial inclination to kill Moira at the time: he had no way to know she wasn’t a hostile force given the relationship the Dark Iron had with both Ironforge and the Alliance on whole and given Moira’s actions that weren’t exactly proving her to be trustworthy or non-hostile.)

Let’s hop over into Wolfheart* for another painful example of one of Anduin’s flaws. Anduin is the Crown Prince of Stormwind. He is its only heir. Whether or not he wants the job, this is the life he was born into, and a title like that isn’t something you really get to choose. As Crown Prince, he has certain obligations to his people that must be fulfilled, including learning how to rule them properly. Anduin spends the whole novel insisting that he has to go away to learn how to be a priest and denying the responsibility he has to his people. The novel, rather than acknowledging that this is, indeed, a flaw (no matter how understandable or relatable a flaw it might be, especially given his age at the time - roughly 13) chooses to instead treat this as a natural, healthy choice because Varian is both an alcoholic and (unintentionally) abusive toward Anduin, who only needs to get away from his father. The narrative further supports this by showing Varian’s deep remorse over the gulf between himself and his son and framing that gulf as Varian’s own fault and making Anduin’s decision Varian’s fault both from an overarching standpoint and from both characters’ internal reactions.

Moving forward into Mists of Pandaria, Anduin’s initial disappearance is not at all his fault. His ship was assaulted, and he needed to survive. I give him credit for doing amazingly, remarkably well at it, especially considering he’s only 14 or so. I don’t think I would have done half as well as he did at his age given those circumstances. However, when you find him, you explain to him why you’re there. You explain to him what you have been tasked to do by his father. To which he gives you a big “Naaaah. Don’t wanna.”, mind controls your backup, and runs away without so much as a backward glance or any indication of where he’s going. Again, he is the Crown Prince. He has both a duty and responsibility to his people to return, not to mention knowing exactly how sick with worry his father must be over his safety. He still chooses not to care about any of that because “There’s a mystery, gang!”. When you catch up with him in the Krasarang Wilds, he laments the devastation that’s been wrought and tells you that he doesn’t feel right leaving Pandaria while it’s in such a state. While there still would have been war because the Sha had been unleashed, given that over half the Alliance storyline involves chasing after Anduin through various zones, the argument could very strongly be made that things could have potentially been more tightly contained if he hadn’t run away. But the narrative never addresses that. It only treats Anduin’s conclusions as correct and right with no caveats. No one calls him to the carpet for running off. No one takes him to task for his “covert” missions that very nearly kill him (and that did kill him on the PTR before massive backlash changed that storyline) and that leave some serious collateral damage in their wake.

Mists of Pandaria at least allows an adult to talk to him like an adult, though it’s coming from Jaina, and it’s arguably undone by the Purge (I could write a whole different paper on Jaina and why that was justified, but that’s not the view of the fanbase at large, and Blizzard often allows the perceptions of the fanbase to drive the internal narrative of the characters).

Anduin’s push for peace in and of itself isn’t naivete, but his complete and utter conviction that if we’re all simply nice and respectful that there will be no war is. There are several points where such a response has blown up in his face, but he utterly refuses to learn from it. He had the opportunity to witness, multiple times, his father being politic and respectful with other leaders only to have those other leaders turn around and reignite hostilities. He was old enough to understand the gravity of what happened when the Horde mana-bombed Theramore. While there’s certainly an argument to be made that he’s able to look past leadership and realize that no one person is representative of their entire race, the problem becomes that he’s also never willing to defend against the individuals who prove to be problematic, either, even when those individuals are people in power. And the narrative continually treats him as being aggrieved and right to continue to not defend his people or himself. Yes, others are wrong for being aggressors or going back on bargains or for any other multitude of reasons. But when people keep dropping things on your toes and you continue to wear flip-flops around them, you should bear some burden of responsibility for what happens to your toes. The narrative never allows Anduin to bear any of that responsibility. It’s always on someone else.

In Before the Storm, there’s a point where he and Genn are discussing Azerite, and he’s sure that if he could just talk to Sylvanas, they could reach a peace agreement. Genn warns him against it, and Anduin is willing to dismiss it out of hand because it’s Genn talking about Sylvanas. The narrative backs that decision up. Though he’s never able to set up a talk about Azerite, the one meeting he does manage does go absolutely, horribly pear-shaped, but Anduin never really reaches the conclusion that he had been wrong to mistrust Genn’s judgment in the first place. Nor does he bear any narrative fault for not only allowing Calia to attend but for leaving her without a minder. Was her decision to declare herself his responsibility or fault? Absolutely not. But was his naivete in allowing her to be a part of it? Arguably, even if it was (as with all his other poor choices) potentially understandable. Sylvanas’s actions were also not his fault. But if he’d been any more seasoned, her specific promise not to harm any of his people would have sparked some inkling of dread. Instead, he bears not even any personal guilt for that in his monologue. He’s horrified, but nothing ever calls him to task for failing to recognize the fullness of the threat Sylvanas presents or for failing to take any of Genn’s counsel to heart.

Some of this, though, is arguably not so much his fault and is a product of his raising.

Varian Wrynn is a good man. He’s one of my favorite characters in the whole of Azeroth. He’s a loving, devoted father. He’s a dedicated, self-sacrificing king (even before the events of Legion).

In one fell swoop, he’s a man who lost his entire family and his entire life. He lost his birthright, his home, his parents (I’ve had a sister mentioned to me - but she only exists in the movie, which Blizzard has explicitly said is a unique timeline from the games). Not once, but twice (and even thrice, according to Chronicles), he has watched someone he loved die in front of him. He had to watch as his father and then mother were murdered, and then as his wife was.

Through the first two losses, he maintained a sense of duty to his people. After the third, however, he changed. But it wasn’t his fault. The comic tells us he was being controlled by Onyxia. He was, for all intents and purposes, a puppet for her manipulations. He was still, arguably, a good king, but not as good as he had been, and Onyxia was also controlling the House of Nobles to create further internal strife, which lead to more turmoil. It was a cycle. But canonical sources also show us that the one unshakeable part of Varian’s core was his love for Anduin. That was the only thing capable of breaking him free from Onyxia. It was the one thing that brought him back after he’d been sundered. It was the one thing that brought his two halves back into unity.

However, there were times shown, after Varian was sundered, where Anduin knew something was wrong. Because Varian was no longer being even a good king. He was kind of a lousy one. Canonically, this carried on for three years - from the time Anduin was seven until he was ten. So there were times when Anduin, the child, would have to parent Varian. This can lead to all sorts of psychological issues going forward and imbalances in the way the relationship functions.

It’s worth noting that none of this was Varian’s choice. He wasn’t responsible for what had happened to him, and even as the more “vapid” half became increasingly self-aware, you can see him stepping squarely back into the role of responsible father. Anduin at that point, though, showed greater care for the responsibility of their people than he has in the eleven years since: he cared that his father wasn’t being a good king and was worried about how he was ruling Stormwind and continued to push him to be better in that role.

When Varian did fully return - both to himself and Stormwind - once he’d freed himself of Onyxia and her ensorcellment, he did what any parent in that position might do: he tried to make up for lost time. He was tougher on Anduin because there were three years missing and he didn’t know how to cope. He had been taken from Anduin when Anduin was a seven-year-old (which needs stricter boundaries and much more hands-on parental involvement) and came home to a ten-year-old (who are beginning to truly establish themselves as individuals and setting their own boundaries). He (rightfully) rebuffed Anduin’s attempts at parenting him, but he didn’t ever establish to Anduin why Anduin shouldn’t be behaving that way. He also did what any trauma survivor would do: he overcompensated. He kept Anduin under even tighter guard. He didn’t let him have quite as much freedom.

He continued to treat Anduin as he was when he’d left him rather than treating him how he was now.

In-game, they had largely moved past that by the time Cataclysm came to a close, but the damage was done.

Varian also has a tendency to turn self-sacrifice for his people into an actual psychological and physiological problem. Varian’s hierarchy of responsibility goes as follows: 1.) Stormwind and its people (to include all outlying lands that owe fealty to Stormwind) 2.) The Alliance 3.) Anduin. 4.) Everything else. 5.) Himself. Maybe. On every sixth Thursday if it’s a blue moon and the tide is behaving just right. The man canonically has insomnia because he cannot stop working. Not won’t. Can’t. He will (and has) sacrificed literally everything for his people.

Varian’s a good man. He’s a good king. He’s a good father.

My biggest problem with Anduin is honestly that Christie Golden wanted him to be her perfect golden boy and used him as a battering ram against his father at every opportunity while also turning Varian into a war-mongering brute. That wasn’t the Varian we’d seen before The Shattering. It wasn’t the Varian we saw in-game even after The Shattering (His line in the Legion cinematic that “I now believe, as you do [ …] but to preserve it, we must be willing to fight“ makes me absolutely rage because that’s exactly the view Varian espoused in his first true appearance in the comics. He hadn’t needed his son to teach him that. He already believed it. But apparently Christie Golden disagreed). But it certainly was the Varian we got in the peripheral materials afterward. And the other writers took up the charge of Anduin as the Perfect Golden Child to his eternal detriment in my eyes.

Asking for characters to be allowed flaws doesn’t feel like it should be a bridge too far. But with Anduin, it feels like a lost cause.

* - I refuse to go into all the reasons I despise Wolfheart and how far out of character it yanks Varian for the sake of Anduin’s narrative, because that wasn’t the point of this post, but I did want it officially mentioned for the record.

#anduin wrynn critical #varian wrynn #in which galley rants #and also writes an essay #anon of the greyface #galley answers stuff

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