#Redwall Hell

[lostmidnightwriter]

#redwall #redwall series #brian jacques #this meme template is everything to me #i saw it and went “Oh my god it's Martin and Gonff” #but also #dandin and mariel #ruff and dotti #ferdimond and doogy #matthias and basil #mara and pikkle #oh my gosh every redwall book has a barbie ken duo #hell yeah #martin the warrior #redwall gonff #my stuff

[starshucker]

watching the redwall cartoon and contemplating scale. you have mice and squirrels and badgers and stuff that are mostly to scale with each other, the bigger animals are just like taller people (constance is a bit small for a badger but she's bigger than anyone else so i'll let it slide) and they're all inches tall and they all live in an abbey that they built to their own scale

but then you have like the owl and the cat which are also to scale, like a foot tall presumably and the cat lives in a barn that's like. human scale? like a human built it for their own purposes and it's probably dozens of feet tall. there's also a big fish that's the size of an entire mouse that they catch. obligatory goofy/pluto problem for why this fish isn't sentient but whatever

BUT THEN ALSO THE RATS RIDE TINY HORSES?

#no way in hell i'm the first person to talk about this. but it's my blog #redwall #jabbermikey

[abbeykitchenmouse]

Folk always ask me, Nutmeg, how do you maintain such a wonderful kitchen? It certainly doesn't hurt to have other abbey beasts to help, am I right?

And to that I say, no. You're wrong. There are no other abbey beasts helping me. They're all too busy chasing vermin and bandits around the wood for the wee little kitchen mouse! The only reason this kitchen stays functional is because I clean, and I sweep, and I scrub, and I terrorize. Then I'm ready to cook a delicious dinner, but wait, the kitchen is destroyed again before I can even start!

It's my own personal circle of hell. Someone get Dante down here to write about it! Who just put a dirty butter knife in this pot?! Aghhhhhhh!

#kitchenmouse #personal hell #never ending nightmare #kitchen mess never ends #humblewood #redwall #mistmantle chronicles too if you're cool

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: June 5

"Matches to Paper Dolls" by Dessa

#song of the day #took me such a long time to place this song today #grinding my teeth through some particularly frustrating data requests #(here's a direct quote from the request message: ?grad students?) #and I'm baiting myself with Redwall books and at some point I was chanting 'just one more chapter' and then it had a rhythm! #and I was like oh that's a song! what the hell song is that #took me aaaages which feels silly because it's part of the chorus but then the chorus is so rarely the best part of a Dessa song #'forgive and forget and give in to attraction / this whole thing depends on amnesia and magnets' has the best delivery #and then just after it 'the fervor the fire the feathers this fever defies measure' is I think my favorite phrasing #anyway I'm sleeping in segments and waking to work and giving myself jaw strain the whole time but I made a really nice pasta salad #and I've read four Redwall books--Outcast; Mariel; Mattimeo; and my beloved Rakkety Tam #(if I were going to have something with a rhythm stuck in my head by all rights it ought to be Rakkety Tam's epigraph chants #Rakkety Rakkety Rakkety Tam the drums are beatin braw) #I'll be a person again by this weekend whether I like it or not--my family is coming! #Mom's bringing the littles up to stay with us for their summer break #no idea what that'll do to my sleep schedule but it can't get worse!

[twistmygrinder]

hey remember three years ago we got an announcement saying there’s a redwall series in development for Netflix. what happened to that?

#redwall #netflix #i know it’s probably in development hell #but knowing netflix they might have just cancelled it all together #I really wanted to see a newer adaptation

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

trying to find diplomatic but firm ways to articulate 'hey man this is really fucked up, please reconsider' about wan/derhome--or whether to make a post about it at all--because its creators seem like the types to approach it in good faith, but i have no idea how it would go over or if they'd even see it at all. but i finally decided to take a look at it after getting it in a charity bundle last year, and as a disabled mentally ill trauma survivor god that was incredibly hurtful and upsetting, holy shit. days later i'm still not super okay over it, let alone that it won awards and is considered a masterpiece in the medium

#the crit files #there are literally content warnings for disabled people to make it easy to censor them out of your game ~to keep it lighthearted~ #in an entire section of the book so aggressively segregated that it is structurally excluded from random rolls during character creation #they literally made six other categories of traits so that the '''traumatized traits''' (yes that is the official label used in the game) #won't fit on a d6 #that does not even begin to scratch the surface of how much fucked up shit there was in the <half i managed to read before i had to tap out #i just. christ dude. what the hell #ugly laws are not ~cozy and safe~ they are violence. #cutesy ghibli-but-redwall aesthetic and performative gestures toward inclusiveness #do not make something less hateful and hostile toward disabled people; and mentally ill people; and trauma survivors. #they just make the poison go down easier. #also the section about safety tools and consent includes the phrase 'no one can make you do anything without your consent' #which i hate with my entire fucking soul and never ever ever want to see again #ableism cw #anti-survivor cw #ttrpg tag

[the-golden-ghost]

Unlocked an Early Childhood Memory tonight, so here's a question:

Does anyone know of an animated movie or show from the mid-late 1990s that had a white bat as a character?

#that Astarion Bat Post got me man #I don't even know how to explain the memory without sounding deranged as hell either #long story short: I had a plush bat when I was kid and I'm pretty sure he was from a movie and not just a standalone bat plush #Who Was He. #I've basically been sitting here trying to think of movies with bats in them #and the only ones I can come up with are Fern Gully and Silverwing and it's not either of those #I don't know if it was the Secret of NIMH?? that didn't have bats did it? just mice? #Redwall? was there a Redwall movie? were there bats in Redwall?

[rocaillefox]

can people please stop turning furry worlds into fantastical racism/making up furry stereotypes. i do not want to read 'all cats are troublemakers. all bears are police. all rabbits are caregivers.' like, peoples features and bodies do not signify anything about personality, morality, political stance, etc. and the bioessentialism inherent to that concept absolutely reeks. this is not a politically neutral thing jsjfbvj

#esp in furry aus where you turn canonly human characters into these weird stereotypes #like. how is this not at least a bit uncomfortable for you to read about #like does this portrayal of a world not make you stop and think about how #limiting prejudicial and horrible to live in it would be #how can you use this to portray whats supposedvto be a lighthearted premise completely uncritically #dont you feel uncomfortable putting a character of color into any of those stereotypes? #like. ik animal fantasy is often a form of caricature in and of itself when multiple animal species are involved #but this is so overt and really doesnt fit the premise of a happy romantic story #to live in this world sounds like living in a form of hell actually. #ramblings #racism #but like. same reason i hate redwalls portrayal. like- #species is something inherent to every being in a furry universe #with actual significant biological differences irl #and to use species difference as a race allegory has so many issues #namely that it implies race is biologically differing rather than socially constructed based on features #which is a part of white supremacist schools of thought- the idea that people of color and white people are biologically distinct enough - #-that they should be treated differently because of inherent capability or lack thereof. #and to see this inherently racist school of thought recreated uncritically in fanworks #like. wholly sucks actually! #its why zootopia sucks! its why beastars sucks! #PLEASE look at animal fiction with a critical eye instead of using it as escapist literature #as- as is shown in rikki tikki tavi for example- the animals chosen to represent groups of real people #can and are often used to discuss irl political events including justification for said events #across multiple cultures. #biological essentialism

[abbeyarchives]

cocks nerf gun

New episode motherfuckers

#redwall #redwall series #redwall abbey #brian jacques #martin the warrior #abbey archives #aa ep #do I care that the joke doesnt quite work with the episode title #absolutely not I'm funny as hell

[demimonde-semigoddess]

Do you think the random ass magic echidna they invented for the Guardians of Ga'Hoole movie was a stealthy Sonic the Hedgehog reference.

Like, to be clear, I know echidnas are real, but there has to have been someone who pitched "wizened echidna prophet" to the guys and got the go ahead for the scene. How the fuck did they land on echidna?

#oc #because that fucker sure as hell wasn't in the books #I'm pretty sure the only sapient non bird creatures in the Guardians of Ga'Hoole universe are #wait no that list is longer than i thought #at minimum i know there's text for wolves polar bears and 2 kinds of snakes #but like the owls definitely don't talk to rodents and similar creatures ever #alternative very funny concept because it's 5 am: Ga'Hoole and redwall are the same setting #thinking emoji #aaaaand post

[gatorsnot]

me: "okay, it's been like three years, time to get back to reading redwall-" also me: (discovers david fisher's paperbacks from hell series) me: "Dammit™"

#dawn speaks #redwall #paperbacks from hell #david fisher #i'm currently reading the pack! #i'm about halfway through and it's pretty good so far! #poor corny though :( #i might read killer next because i have orca brainrot again hehe

[otteranha]

The kids all read to Eddie, it’s good for him to hear their voices the doctors say. And Steve wants to, he wants so badly for his usefulness not to be over already. But even with all his old tricks from school, with all the underlining and going line-by-line, he struggles with the language and tiny print in Tolkien, and Herbert might be even worse. Usually he ends up moving the bookmark ahead more than he’s really read just so Dustin won’t look at him like that.

He feels foolish, useless, like a big dumb drag on the group, not doing his part when Eddie needs this, needs to hear people, his people. And when Steve runs out of things to say he can’t even read to him like everyone else can. Hell, even Wayne comes after 12 hour shifts and reads until he can’t stay awake. Steve’s failing Eddie again and it’s making him crazy.

He’s walking past the hospital gift shop when he sees the book. It’s a kiddie book. Obviously, it’s way too childish for Eddie, there’s a mouse on the cover for crying out loud. But the title is printed in that old-timey font, like something Dustin would use to write ~spells~ for their little game and when Steve skims the first chapter it’s easy to read. He brings the book back to Eddie’s room with him. 

Later, Eddie swears that he absolutely heard the first part that Steve read, coma be damned, he just made Steve start from the beginning because he wanted Dustin and the rest of them to hear the whole thing. Later still, when they bring home their first foster kid, Eddie will pull a battered copy of Redwall off the shelf and ask if she wants to hear a bedtime story.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve reading eddie middle grade novels while he's in the hospital is something that can actually be so personal #stranger things #stranger things hc

[bowelfly]

If i win the lottert the first thing i do would be giving all my wins to hire you to illustrate the Brother Cadfael series by Ellis Peters as animal AUs, your animal-monks drawings are so good, and make me so happy when i see them on my dashboard...

i hadn't heard of that series until some folks tagged my gharial monk drawing with it but what the hell i'd be down. i would also gladly accept a rich patron to pay me to make an adaptation of redwall minus the anti-rat and stoat propaganda. or a wind in the willows adaptation where everyone just inexplicably wears robes because they're fun to draw

#bflyart #redwall #wind in the willows #rat #mole #monk #also i read your ask to the tune of camper van beethoven's if i win the lottery #great song

[comicaurora]

as a redwall/ga'hoole/warrior cats kid, Pip brings me great joy!! can we do a poll on what we think she is?? (I'm convinced she's a rat)

#asks #aurora #there is a correct answer

[kotir-propaganda]

Mossflower has so much going for it, like I’m not even being biased because my blorbo is in it. I will die on the hill of it being Best Redwall Book for several reasons.

-It’s as early Redwall as you can get without actually being Book 1. As such, it avoids a lot of subjects and patterns that would later become repetitive tropes... but it also avoids the Book 1 jankiness of horses and human structures and the implied existence of Portugal. The world as we will come to know it feels more or less fully realized here. The abbey’s not here yet, but its foundation literally is- and we also get our first look at Salamandastron and the extent of Mossflower Wood as a whole.

-It has some of the most solid protagonists around. The legendary hero Martin is here, but he’s at a low point for most of the story and has to work his way up to that legacy! And this is where he does it, this is what future Redwallers remember him for, not the events of Martin the Warrior. Also, Gonff is here? Hello? Maybe the single most charismatic character in the series? Not to mention Dinny, how often does a humble mole actually get to go on a quest in these books?

-This isn’t even getting into how badass all the rest of the woodlanders are, too, but... they absolutely are. This is a small band of rebels that’s been driven from their little houses, they don’t have the luxury of those huge sandstone walls to protect them, but they’re still fighting like hell and outsmarting their enemies to boot. Some of them are seasoned fighters, but some of them are just ordinary families, all banding together to take back their homeland. And they keep it up the whole time! They’re not just waiting around for a guy with a sword to tell them what to do!

-The villains are probably the most nuanced in the whole series. Seriously. There are four whole wildcats here (don’t forget Sandingomm!) and only ONE of them is unquestionably evil. It’s absolutely implied that Verdauga was a fearsome warlord in his day, but if nothing else, he raised ONE kid who turned out to be about as Lawful Good as you can get, and he actually scolds Tsarmina for being mean to her brother!! I wish we could have spent a little more time with Verdauga, honestly, I have so many questions for this man.

-There are a decent handful of morally grey characters here, actually. Chibb spies for the woodlanders, but he’s not the most dependable and is motivated by payment more than sympathy to their cause. Snakefish allies with our questing heroes, but he minces no words in warning them that he’ll just as soon eat them if it comes down to it. Even Argulor is really just out here looking for a bite to eat and can you really blame him, because ashleg is a snack

-Tsarmina herself is irredeemably cruel, but even still there are multiple facets to her. On one hand, she’s scary- big and powerful and ready to rip into anything/anyone with her bare claws. At the same time she can be a clever strategist when she wants to be- poisoning her father and framing her brother, and later manipulating two of her obstacles, Argulor and Bane, into taking each other out. And still yet it can be kind of funny to watch her in action, as she gets humiliated by the resistance on multiple occasions. And maybe there is even a little pathos there, as we see her mind start to slip, and get some glimpse into the deep fear and paranoia that completely overtake her at the end.

-There are just great supporting characters on both sides. Mask is amazing, Fortunata is fantastic. And yeah, Blorbo Supreme Ashleg is here, and I don’t NEED to write a whole essay about him to promote Mossflower as a whole but... having him here is nice! It helps!! May we all follow his example and pursue happier lives for ourselves!!!

-Mossflower laid the foundation for so many events and characters of later books. I mean yeah, it’s a prequel. It’s there to support the first book and by extension, everything that comes after. But so many other great titles in the series have a direct line to Mossflower, from Outcast to Long Patrol to Lord Brocktree and more. Did you enjoy those books? You’re welcome. The threads were already there, just waiting to be expanded upon.

-at one point a wooden leg gets used as a projectile weapon and if you don’t think that’s the best thing ever, I don’t know what else to tell you buddy

#redwall #mossflower

[doyou000me]

Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better:

Tagged by @lurkingshan - thank you for the tag!

3 Ships You Like:

Luca and Vincenzo. They're my rare pair hell ship and I'll keep it afloat singlehandedly if I have to. Luckily I don't, because there's two of us holding up the fort on Ao3, and @ristique-xy and I are basically feeding each other at this point.

For those of you who haven't seen it, Vincenzo is a Korean drama from 2021. Vincenzo is the main character and Luca has like 5-10 minutes of screen time in the entire series. Nothing can convince me that they're not murderous lovers for life.

Yoh and Mizuki from My Personal Weatherman. I watched it, moved on, and then was reminded of it after a certain picture and discussion with @candidamay, which made me go back and rewatched MPW and now I'm trying to write a fic for them. It is resisting me but I shall employ stubbornness and persevere.

Kinnporsche. Again, I watched the show when it came out and moved on. Now incredible fanfics (go read Bad Bet by @luckydragon10 and The Power In The Taking by @iffervescent. Both are excellent and very NSFW - proceed with caution and heed the tags) and tumblr in general are slowly making me slide down the slippery slope into the fandom. Can't say I'm putting up any resistance. The Kinnporsche plotbunnies are breeding in my already overpopulated head.

Honorable mentions: PayuRain and PrapaiSky. Need I say more?

First Ship Ever:

My first ship must be something like 15+ years ago, so I really don't remember. Also, I don't think I've ever been big on exclusively shipping one pair of characters, so OTPs aren't really my thing. I tend to pick one favourite character and then ship them with pretty much any other character depending on what dynamic I want in the moment. I still do, but now I've started entertaining the idea of just throwing them all together in one big poly relationship.

Last Song You Heard:

Wonder by The Rose has been playing on and off in my head the last few days

Favorite Childhood Book:

The Redwall books by Brian Jacques.

Currently Reading:

Nothing. I tend to read in short, intense bursts (like a book/long fanfic in 1-2 days), and then I read nothing for a while.

Currently watching:

Love is Better The Second Time Around

Deep Night The Series

Bingeing:

Bloodhounds (rewatch with a friend)

Sandman (watching with a friend)

Currently consuming:

Yoghurt and musli with banana. It's breakfast.

Currently craving:

Juice.

Tagging @ristique-xy @functionalasfuck, @cryingatships, @candidamay, @7nessasaryevils because I'm curious about what's going on in your heads! Do it if you feel like it, ignore it if you don't :)

#tag game #kinnporsche #my personal weatherman #vincenzo #fanfics #Youtube