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simeon-takes-a-break · 1 year

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Grande finale - with a bang, literally!

Ever since I arrived in Cartagena, every backpacker I met was raving about one extraordinary experience: crossing the Caribbean Sea to Panama by boat and visiting the San Blas islands on the way. The archipelago comprises approximately 365 islands and puts every other island paradise to shame and has recently gotten wider attention since it was featured in the famous Netflix series “La casa de papel”.

There are several boats that make the journey back and forth. Since I’ve heard that the days at sea are really rough I opted for a catamaran: two hulls are better and probably more stable than one, right? The mighty African Queen was the chosen vessel under the command of South Tyrolean captain “Rudy” Rudolph Gamberoni. His hair was curly and blond and all over the place, just like his personality, it seemed. The crew was completed by his Colombian girlfriend, who was the kitchen master, and a relative of hers. The passenger group was fun and diverse with the exception of an American solo traveler who had more neuroses than all protagonists of every Woody Allen movie combined. She was afraid of her own shadow and about as laid-back as a chihuahua on a mix of red bull and cocaine.

And so we set sail, leaving the high rises of Cartagena behind us and welcoming the wide open sea in front of us. The waves didn’t disappoint and left nearly every passenger leaning over the railing puking their brains out. Seasickness pills saved me from reverse eating, however, nausea was still more than inconvenient. A welcome distraction was the thrilling catch of an impressive mahi-mahi. That yellow beast, with its odd head shape, measured more than a meter. Here’s how Rudy harpooned that poor soul into another dimension.

We were spoiled with the freshest mahi-mahi sashimi and a delicious feast for dinner. After two days of rough sailing we finally reached the calm seas of the San Blas archipelago. We couldn’t get enough of snorkeling in the pristine turquoise waters and admire the intact corals and fishes (fun fact: The plural form of 'fish' is the same as the singular form when you are talking about one kind of fish. When you are talking about more than one kind or species of fish, both 'fish' and 'fishes' are ok to use. Isn’t English a wonderful language?).

After a beer and rum fueled lunch Rudy set the catamaran in motion heading to another island. I and the other backpackers ensconced ourselves on the nets at the very front of the catamaran for some sunbathing and digesting. As I gazed into the horizon I noticed something in the distance. I turned to Cassy & Rob, a lovely Canadian couple and fellow passengers, wondering whether that was breaking waves, which would mean that we were heading straight for a reef. Nahhh, our curly captain surely paid close attention and would avoid shallow waters in time, we tried to reassure ourselves. We became increasingly uncomfortable as the boat wouldn’t turn. Those breaking waves sure were a baaad omen so I ran to the back of the African Queen only to find the tipsy trio (Rudy, his GF and their friend) peacefully asleep while the goddamn barge was set on freaking auto pilot!!! I screamed, waking them up, and hectically tried to warn Rudy of the imminent danger. I’ll never forget Rudy's panicky eyes as he immediately turned the rudder. But it was too late. The boat hit the reef with a loud and terrifying bang. After the initial shock, we realized that the catamaran was stuck and its motor wasn’t powerful enough to free it up again.

From here on I shall not entirely rely on my memory but rather resort to Cassy’s excellent incident protocol:

As a group we decided to get in the water to see if we could push the boat off the reef. We informed the captain and he said this was good. Big mistake! There were black spiky sea urchins that spiked 4 people. Next, trying to get out of the water was difficult: the captain alternated the engines forwards and backwards, trying to get the boat off the reef, which created very strong currents that washed everyone back onto the reef. Eventually, everyone got back on board with some cuts and sea urchin spikes in their feet and fingers. About 20 minutes later, another man arrived in a panga boat yelling for us to get off our boat and into his panga. We were given no time to grab our stuff off the deck or collect our luggage. Once aboard the panga, we found that he was the captain of the Sailing Koala and he was going to drop us off on the nearest island. He told us not to worry because this happens all the time!? He then returned to help our captain get our boat off the reef. The next 2 hours were spent waiting on the island, which thankfully had a basic hostel and immigration services (I recall an airstrip, so it might have been El Porvenir island). Our boat was not moving from the reef. Then the captain's girlfriend arrived on a panga with bad news: the boat was sinking and the right hull was completely full of water. That is when we realized that she had brought some of our luggage but not everything. It required 2 more trips over the next hour to our sinking boat to recover everything.

Of course my large and small backpack were soaking wet and completely glazed with what seemed to be motor oil. My camera and tablet were of course destroyed by the salty water. My iPhone on the other hand was nowhere to be foun..., oh God, under my pillow on the top bunk bed in the cabin in the, you guessed it, right i.e. flooded hull. No way I’d give up without a fight. I asked the panga operator to bring me back to the catamaran but he refused as it was too dangerous. I instantly turned to harsher measures and claimed that my insulin medication was still on board. This was a blatant and maybe inadequate lie but it did the trick. Back on the catamaran the chaos was in full sling. Rudy didn’t pay attention to me at all as the Sailing Koala was trying to drag the stricken African Titanic out of its misery. That gave me the opportunity to continue with my mission. Once inside the lopsided and half-flooded vessel I realized that the power was still on. Not a good time to get electrocuted. So I tarzan-ed myself across the kitchen stepping on the stove and dangling alongside a cupboard into my cabin where I found the top bunk bed still dry and my iPhone precisely where I had left it. Great success. I grabbed it and made my way back on deck, avoiding the potentially deadly water. But not before opening the cooler on the way and “borrowing” a bottle of rum. Given the circumstances we surely would need that later on. Back on the island I found the others in complete disbelief and the American girl in her umpteenth panic attack.

For the next 3 hours we sat waiting for information. We discussed as a group we would remain calm for Rudy's sake, as we knew that he would be very upset and stressed out. Immigration gave us some water as we sat by the shore waiting. Approximately, 7pm Rudy arrived on shore with no explanation. It was translated that we would stay on the island at the hostel nearby. We arrived at the hostel where bedrooms were arranged, as well as dinner. Rudy disappeared instantly and was on his phone for the few minutes that we saw him. Again, the group decided to leave both Rudy and his girlfriend alone to give them time and space to sort things out.

We spent the evening processing what just had happened. This is where the bottle of rum, I heroically had salvaged, came in very handy.

In the morning it was time to confront Rudy with our demands. All we got however was a petty USD 100 in cash and rudeness. What’s more is that Rudy admitted that the boat was uninsured. Furthermore, while aboard the boat Rudy could not contact the coastguard as his radio equipment did not work. What would have happened if our boat was sinking in the middle of the ocean and we had to be rescued? The sheer horror!

At least the transportation back to Panama City was organized so we had that going on for us, which is nice (#insertmemehere).

I had very responsibly taken out several insurance policies precisely for events like these. But surprise surprise: They deny cover when the insured person is between countries and aboard a boat in the open sea. That meant no refund for the trip, the damaged or lost items nor for the immense emotional damage my fragile soul had to endure (oh the drama). Not even a confirmation from the authorities helped.

But hey, the whole thing makes for a hell of a story. If not for me than certainly for the live lobsters that Rudy had bought from the local Kuna people and then graciously released back into the sea after the reef incident. Luckiest day of those bastards’ life I’d say.

To say the least, the last couple of days in Panama City were underwhelming. Rainy weather, unimpressive sights, sketchy neighborhoods, a horrible date with a self obsessed wannabe instagrammer and a party that didn’t live up to its own name. The mighty Panama canal however was indeed impressive and worth a visit.

I was now more than ready to call it quits and fly back home to family, friends and my dear friend’s wedding.

It was an unforgettable, exciting and thrilling journey. Back then I already knew that it was not gonna be my last one. And here I am, writing these lines, nine years later on my second big backpacking trip, which is every bit as amazing as the first one.

And as they say, three times is a charm, so I keep my fingers crossed…

PS: Ever since that incident, San Blas was a major trigger topic for me and it was clear that I would go on this trip again and so I did in October 2022. It was as amazing as everyone said it would be. I had immense luck with the captain, the other passengers and the weather. Of course I had to tell the boat wreckage story and guess what? The captain knew Rudy. Apparently he is known as “the clown” among the other captains. Not only that but he spilled some further tea. Get this: After the tragic sinking of the African Titanic (or Queen) he had bought another boat. That boat apparently did sink AS WELL! And now he’s still standing (or floating) with his third vessel “Alessandra”. The stamina this guy has is astonishing, I give him that.

PPS: Back in 2013, when I embarked on my backpacking extravaganza, I had a song stuck in my head called "U Got the Power" by Swiss Lips. Well, that song stuck with me throughout the entire trip. You'll find out soon, why....

#cartagena #san blas #catamaran #sinking #panama

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