#Slime this is what I told you about

[zeb-z]

talking entirely character wise. do you think today was a bit of a wake up call for bad. do you think he heard red screaming out of their minds begging for toxic gas and thought about how they’ve lost their minds just a little bit. do you think that when he was given an immediate no when he asked where the red egg was to help them defend he understood how deep of a rift he created. do you think as he sat there silent while the rest of red cheered at killing the egg statue, he wondered if he could have pushed them a little too far. do you think that maybe, just maybe, with the red sun beating down on him in that desert, the gas mask team cheering and dancing, he felt for a single moment the consequences of his actions? that maybe, if he hadn’t started out so hostile with extreme tactics, if he hadn’t been so bloodthirsty and ruthless, if he had had just a little bit of hesitation, that his own attempts at diplomacy would have gone over better? that the rest of the teams would have listened? that red would have trusted his judgement on the egg statues, or at the very least respected him enough to honor an agreement? do you think he realizes that burning his bridges may have fucked him over?

#now again stressing here I’m talking about q!bad. character wise. I feel with how tense folks are getting this needs to be stressed #do you think he sees red and their tight knit unbreakable trust and their unwillingness to listen to a single thing he has to say #and considers that mayyybe he should have killed and tormented them a little less #he was told to not be afraid to run over the competition and took it to the extreme without hesitation or second thought and it’s biting him #in the ass now. because I do think that diplomatic call would have gone different between him and Cellbit had he not fucked them over so #terribly. if he hadn’t done what he had done to slime and to jaiden. if he wasn’t at their base 24/7. if he had a single ounce of tact #maybe there could have been a world where they agree to damage but not kill the eggs and honor it. but bad blew it long before that #disastrous call. he blew it day 2 when he just doubled down on his day 1 nonsense. which again that is the name of the game but yknow #consequences meet actions. and no he’s not the only one who didn’t want to kill the eggs but he’s a big reason why the deal fell through #specifically with red. in another world they could have been convinced. do damage but don’t kill. idk #again. qBBH. bless him but good god he has taken ‘whatever it takes’ to the extreme and he’s paying for it now #mcyt #qsmp #qsmp purgatory #q!bbh #z speaks

[necronatural]

If you like Dungeon Meshi, why not try out Heterogeneous Linguistics?

It follows the student of a monster anthropologist tasked with learning about monster culture himself. In doing so he learns that every monster species has their own communication style and own way of overcoming their language barrier.

Like werewolves:

Slimes:

and Kraken!

Heterogeneous Linguistics covers all kinds of monsters, both humanoid and not.

Not only that, it explores the culture of the monster world, untouched by humans, where communities connected by the travelers between them have their own independent ways of living that he must learn as he travels deeper into the country.

An absolutely fascinating manga that I think takes Dungeon Meshi's "what if monsters were animals" and pushes it all the way to "what if monsters were people, even if they had nothing in common with humans".

All told alongside a little half-human half-werewolf girl, who, on account of being a child, perceives these differences as intuitive and can't explain a damn thing.

#pers #heterogeneous linguistics #i think the slimes are the living armour of this manga. just immediately fascinating phenomenon

[taylorman2274]

We Care About You

For the past couple of days, you've been sacrificing sleep to spend more time playing Genshin. The people of Teyvat take notice and do not approve.

Content Warning(s): Liyue Archon Quest Spoilers

Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader; First Story; Inexperienced Writer

Word Count: 1.5k

Previous || Next

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You honestly should've seen it coming.

There were too many hints that told you what was about to happen, but you either didn't notice them or ignored them entirely.

Now you're about to fall into unconsciousness against your will, all because someone within Teyvat cared about your well-being.

"How is this even possible?" you pondered before you finally fell into sweet unconsciousness.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first hint happened so quick you almost missed it.

You were a couple of minutes removed from logging into the game and had just started working on your second of four daily commissions.

As you were teleporting to Dadaupa Gorge to help Wyatt look for his key, you noticed an unusual message on the loading screen.

Sleep

When night falls, make sure that you get plenty of rest!

You were lucky that you were a fast reader or else you wouldn't have been able to read that message in time.

At first, you didn't know what to think of it. Sure, Hoyoverse could've easily added it into the game, but you didn't see them ever doing such a thing. Additionally, you've never seen anyone else experience this message before.

"Probably something new," you guessed before gliding on down to speak with Wyatt.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second hint was a bit more noticeable than the first.

After completing Wyatt's commission, you were on your way to Falcon Coast to defeat some hilichurls. It was approaching nighttime in Teyvat when Paimon suddenly said:

"It's getting pretty late. Paimon thinks that we should go to bed soon."

You stopped gliding forward for a brief moment in slight surprise. It only took a few seconds for you to snap back to reality before pausing the game to save what airtime you had left.

"I can see a new line of text being possible, but a new voice line?" you contemplated. Like the last hint, you really didn't know what to think of it. If it was only one new voice line that got added into the game, you guess you shouldn't see that as a big surprise.

"Today has certainly been weird," you added before unpausing the game.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn't until the third hint that you started to think that something was wrong.

After defeating the two waves of hilichurls, your last commission had you beat up some cryo slimes near the Dawn Winery. You teleported to the Anemo Archon statue, grabbed a couple of Windwheel Asters, and began to glide down to the water.

However, just as you were about to pass the Dawn Winery, you began to hear a sweet melody coming from the building. This wasn't the theme you were used to hearing when you were near the Dawn Winery, so being the curious person you were, you took a quick detour to the building.

As you approached the building, the melody began increasing in volume. Furthermore, as you moved your camera you noticed the sound gradually shifting volume in-between your right and left ears.

"Wait, this isn't just a soundtrack? Someone's actually playing this?" you questioned, speaking aloud for the first time. You rarely speak your thoughts aloud, finding such an action to be awkward, but you felt that the situation warranted such a reaction out of you.

After a bit of wandering and camera movement, you pinpointed the source of the sound coming from the roof. Starting from the front of the building, you climbed up the wall and onto the balcony. You moved the camera around, trying to see if you could get a better view of the roof, and after a while, you found the source of the melody.

Venti the bard was currently straddling the roof beam with his back against the spire right near where the Anemoculus used to be. He had his eyes closed as he was playing the soothing melody on his lyre. If he noticed you, he took no note of it as he continued to play.

"Okay, now things are getting weird," you began to monologue to yourself. "I can somewhat explain a new loading screen message and a new voice line, but a new audio played by a character who is never supposed to be seen outside of archon quests and events? A change as big as this would've surely been advertised by Hoyoverse on social media, right? So why does it feel like I'm the first person to have discovered this? Do I consider this to be a bug or a glitch?"

However, as you continued to think to yourself, Venti continued to play his melody. As the melody dragged on and on, you began to yawn and feel your eyes growing heavy.

"Hold on. Is this melody...making me sleepy?”

Music notes began to fade in and out as they floated from Venti's lyre to your player character.

"I can't fall asleep just yet! I still need to finish my commissions!" you proclaimed before leaping off the balcony and continuing your way down to the beach. "Ooh! I also may need to travel to some domains and farm for materials."

You missed the fourth hint while you jogged away from the winery. Had you looked back at Venti, you would have noticed that he stopped playing the melody before sighing with a slight frown on his face.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After completing all of your dailies, you decided to take a change of scenery and meet up with Liyue Katherine.

"I still need to go to Wanmin Restaurant and trigger that Beetle event. Plus, the crafting table is just around the corner for me to craft some Condensed Resin!"

You were too distracted by the crafting table to notice the fifth hint of the day. Had you kept your eye at Third-Round Knockout, you would've noticed the former Geo Archon getting up from his table and walking over to you.

Having finished crafting your Condensed Resin, you began to head over to Wanmin Restaurant. But before you could...

"Traveler! A quick moment of your time, please."

Startled by the sudden attention, you flicked your camera behind you to find Zhongli approaching your player character.

"It has been a while since we last had a chat. I was hoping you would accompany me while I head to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to retire for the night. We can catch up with each other while we walk."

Too many thoughts were running through your head for you to give a proper response, not that any prompt showed up anyway. Zhongli took your inactivity as a sign of acceptance.

"Good. Let us be on our way then."

Zhongli started to walk past you, which didn't help your thoughts at all.

When his feet hit the ground, there was no visible space between the sole of his shoes and the ground. You never saw any of his clothes clip through any part of his body. In fact, you swear you saw a few wrinkles.

"Everything about him is too detailed. The walking animation, the clothes, the collision, the hitboxes; there is no way in hell everything should be so... fluid."

You started to think whether or not you should go through with his request. However, before you could make a decision, the game decided to make one for you.

The Traveler moved... but your hands were off the keyboard.

"WOAH Woah Woah woah..." You repeated as you backed your chair away from the computer. Now you were starting to think that your game was broken. You quickly scooched your chair back closer to your computer and were about to Alt+F4 outta there before...

"I would refrain from doing that."

You stopped what you were doing and looked up at the screen. Did you miss something that the Traveler did?

"As much as we all love to have you around, we know better than to have you overstay your welcome when you are clearly tired."

...That didn't sound like he was talking to the Traveler.

"I admire your persistence, but you leave me no choice, [Y/N]."

"Oh sh-."

Before you could finish your sentence, a loud buzzing sound suddenly played from your computer speaker. Almost immediately, you could feel yourself about to fade to unconsciousness. You quickly stood up and covered your ears as you tried to fight it, wondering how in the hell this sound was affecting you despite having heard it before in Sumeru. Unfortunately, the noise continued to grow louder and louder until you could no longer stand on your own two feet. You slowly slumped to the floor as the sound began to lower in volume, sensing that its job was done.

You honestly should've seen it coming.

There were too many hints that told you what was about to happen, but you either didn't notice them or ignored them entirely.

Now you're about to fall into unconsciousness against your will, all because someone within Teyvat cared about your well-being.

"How is this even possible?" you pondered before you finally fell into sweet unconsciousness.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author Side Notes: I know that I'm not the best writer in the world, but this idea for a SAGAU story I had continued to grow and grow until I felt like I could connect all of the plot points by myself.

If anyone is willing to rewrite or even possibly continue this story, I'm all down for it. I just wanted to see if people like this sort of scenario.

I also have more ideas for SAGAU stories if anyone wants to hear them.

#genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin self aware #sagau x reader #sagau #sagau genshin #platonic genshin x reader #platonic #gn reader #gender neutral reader #first story #please be nice D:

[lxclerc]

𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐨𝐭 — 𝐚𝐚𝟐𝟑

summary… the leclerc twins have a reputation of messing with drivers and they’ve got their eyes set on poor alex albon request… yes. pls let me sleep laura faceclaim… char argyrou pairing… alex albon x leclerc!reader

note… because laura graduated and got her driver’s license, i caved @coffeehurricanes

note again… this was surprisingly really fun to write as someone with my own annoying twin brother so it ended up longer than i meant it to which means this will have a part 2

part 1 | part 2

masterlist

yn_leclerc

liked by lorenzotl and others

yn_leclerc serving cunt (as always) (with my 3 fav minions)

view all comments…

username yn casually and unknowingly dropping alex thirst traps

⤷ username she knows she’s feeding the alex girlies

charles_leclerc charles erasure

⤷ yn_leclerc you know youre my most fav (you have the most money)

⤷ charles_leclerc gee thanks

alex_albon i thought you’d put slime on my hair

⤷ yn_leclerc i told you i wouldn’t. i was trying to style your hair 🙄🙄🙄

⤷ alex_albon i have 0 trust in you

⤷ username alex is waiting for that mega prank like the rest of us are

⤷ username i’m fully convinced they’d make alex cry worse than lando

⤷ landonorris it was one time and they ruined my limited edition louis vuitton

⤷ yn_leclerc *accidentally*

⤷ charles_leclerc that i paid for

arthur_leclerc hanging out without me now

⤷ yn_leclerc you were too busy crying abt having no seat for next season 🤗

⤷ username one thing about yn is that she’ll always give her brothers the painful unfiltered truth

username ok but not enough people are talking abt shirtless alex

⤷ username no bc picture me this; shirtless alex, they’re alone and she’s fixing his hair

⤷ username …that does sound oddly intimate

⤷ username yall are tripping. she and arthur did the same thing to oscar and max remember, became super close with them then pranked them when they least expected it

⤷ username yes but also it’s been literal months with alex

⤷ username that just means that the prank will be spectacular

arthur_leclerc

liked by alex_albon and others

arthur_leclerc we are in badly need of your prayers for my twin sister, y/n 😓😞🙏

she’s fine. she’s just so insanely down bad for a man that she can’t say it to his face and needs me to follow them around so she can hang out with him bc she can’t look him in the eye.

view all comments…

leclerc_pascale ay, arthur! J'ai eu peur pour ta sœur ! (you had me scared for your sister!)

⤷ arthur_leclerc Tu devrais avoir peur, maman ! Elle pleure cet homme tous les soirs et il ne sait même pas qu'elle l'aime. (you should be scared, mom! she cries over this man every night and he doesn’t even know she likes him)

⤷ yn_leclerc Taisez-vous ! !! fermez votre bouche ! arrêtez de parler ! (shut up!!! keep your mouth shut! stop talking!)

yn_leclerc you’re dead to me 🙂

yn_leclerc 🖕🖕🖕

yn_leclerc j'aurais dû te manger dans le ventre de ta mère (i should have eaten you in the womb)

yn_leclerc you no longer have a sister

⤷ arthur_leclerc Comment faire autrement pour flirter avec **** ? (how else will you flirt with ****?)

⤷ yn_leclerc TAISEZ-VOUS !!! (SHUT UP!!!)

charles_leclerc a man, huh?

⤷ lorenzotl 🤔🤔🤔🤔

⤷ yn_leclerc no ❤️

⤷ username she gives no fucks 😭

username what are brothers for if not to publicly humiliate you?

username she’s so me coded actually

alex_albon prayers 🙏

⤷ arthur_leclerc thanks, mate. we appreciate it

alexandrasaintmleux and if i speak

⤷ yn_leclerc alexandra malena saint mleux don’t you dare

⤷ charles_leclerc you know too???

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux 🤐🤐🤐

username she’s like me bless

username for a M*N??

alex_albon

liked by yn_leclerc and others

alex_albon was just trying to buy midnight snacks and then we got lost

view all comments…

yn_leclerc we didn’t get lost bc i had a map 😁

⤷ alex_albon that you didn’t know how to use

⤷ yn_leclerc you weren’t exactly offering your map reading knowledge either, albono

⤷ alex_albon watching you struggle was adorable

⤷ username HE CALLED HER ADORABLE

⤷ username idc what anyone says, i am an ynalex truther

arthur_leclerc i was there too, guys

⤷ yn_leclerc you complained the entire time

⤷ arthur_leclerc because you woke me up to accompany you guys

charles_leclerc why is there a puddle on the floor?

⤷ yn_leclerc alex dropped one of the ten liters big water bottle

⤷ alex_albon lies. y/n dropped it and i had to say i did because she looked like she’s about to start crying.

⤷ charles_leclerc yeah, that sounds like my sister

username alex, don’t trust them or else they’ll make you cry like they did lando

⤷ username we’re looking out for you 😭

georgerussell63 mate, don’t be getting comfortable with those two

⤷ yn_leclerc slander

⤷ arthur_leclerc fake

⤷ georgerussell63 you put a rat in my cereal

⤷ arthur_leclerc *plastic* rat

⤷ georgerussell63 i dropped and cracked my phone

⤷ yn_leclerc sounds like you were being clumsy 💁‍♀️

username george is forever traumatised by that rat

username hear me out 👀

yn_leclerc

liked by alex_albon and others

yn_leclerc thirst trapping bc posting on my close friend that only has him in it isn’t enough apparently

view comments…

username she is so me!!!

username doesn’t matter how famous or pretty you are, you’ll always have an instagram close friends with only him in it

logansargeant i saw your close friends story on ****’s phone a few days ago 🤔🤔

⤷ yn_leclerc why were you looking over his phone you muppet?

⤷ logansargeant i just happened to glance by

⤷ username it’s alex. i’m fucking telling you all. ITS ALEX

⤷ username there’s literally no way it’s not alex

⤷ username it could be oscar

⤷ username bitch since when was o s c a r four letters?

⤷ username jack is four letters. they could be trying to throw us off

⤷ username JUST ACCEPT THAT ITS ALEX

charles_leclerc put a shirt on

⤷ yn_leclerc no ❤️

⤷ charles_leclerc 😡😡😡

⤷ username she’s always so unserious when it comes to charles lmao

arthur_leclerc abt to bleach my eyes brb

⤷ lorenzotl pass it over after

⤷ charles_leclerc pass it here too

⤷ yn_leclerc i could build a castle out of all the bricks they throw at me 💁‍♀️

username those leclerc genes are leclercing

username girl get the hell up 😭😭

charles_leclerc added to his story!

yn_leclerc

liked by alex_albon and others

yn_leclerc in the 1500s off in a foreign land, i was forced to marry another man (he can’t take the hint that i’ve been in love with him for years now)

view all comments…

username whoever he is, please just ask her out already 😭

username girl, i’ve said this before but for the love of god get the hell up!!! you are better than this!

⤷ yn_leclerc i fear i’m not, bff 😔

⤷ username man down 😓

logansargeant i’m telling you rn that he’s as in love with you!

⤷ yn_leclerc did he tell you that 🤨

⤷ logansargeant no but he wouldn’t have put up with for this long if he doesn’t

⤷ yn_leclerc he’s put up with you for an entire year

⤷ logansargeant yes but he’s paid to put up with me

⤷ username this is all the confirmation that i need. it’s alex

username take the goddamn hint already @alex_albon

charles_leclerc WHO IS IT

⤷ lorenzotl it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?

⤷ charles_leclerc okay but whoooooo

⤷ username charles is worse than alex 😭

arthur_leclerc this is getting pathetic. @alex_albon it’s you mate. she likes you, you like her. kiss it out 🙄

⤷ yn_leclerc ARTHURRRRRRRRR

⤷ username arthur 😭😭😭😭😭😭

⤷ charles_leclerc WHAT?

username arthur starting chaos bc hes so tired of listening to y/n mope 😭

username arthur revealing y/n’s crush and publicly embarrassing her (again), charles being shocked not having a single clue and lorenzo not caring as much is peak brother behaviors in ways i cannot explain

username i fucking told yall its alex

landonorris mate dont leave a lady waiting @alex_albon

⤷ oscarpiastri yeahhh

⤷ yn_leclerc both of you shut the hell up before i replace your shampoo with nair

⤷ landonorris how would you even have access to my shampoo-

⤷ oscarpiastri don’t ask mate. she’s done it before to dennis in f3

username paging @alex_albon

username @alex_albon dont fucking fumble a bad bitch like her come on now

alex_albon oh?

⤷ yn_leclerc public announcement that y/n y/m/n leclerc has died in a ditch and cannot be contacted at this hour. or ever.

⤷ alex_albon i know where you live

⤷ yn_leclerc locking the doors and putting salt around the property as we speak

happy birthday and congratulations to my most loved laura. i love and adore you and i can’t wait to watch you be the woman that you’re always been capable of.

#formula 1 #f1 #alex albon #arthur leclerc #charles leclerc #alex albon x reader #formula 1 smau #alex albon fluff

[pixiecaps]

Sunny: Pop, can I trust you?

Slime: Yeah of course Sunny. Of course. You’re my daughter, it says so on the birth certificate. I mean I didn’t sign it but it’s- it’s legally binding.. And you’re pretty cool.

Sunny: They told me some things about you but I think I can help you.

Slime: What’d they tell you?

Sunny: Some stuff.

Slime: Okay… And you’d still- you’d. You’re still here though… Why’re you here? If they told you some stuff.

Sunny: Well, a lot of people have done bad things here.

Slime: Yeah it is prison.

Sunny: But if you want pop maybe I can sleep with you tonight?

Slime: Yeah that’s- that’s really sweet. Maybe I mean like.. yeah. Okay you can sleep next to me.

Sunny: But pop.

Slime: What’s up Sunny?

Sunny: Do you promise not to hurt me?

Slime: Wha- Yeah, of course. Of course... Yeah.

Sunny: I trust you. :D Let’s go.

Slime: Okay. Okay let’s do it.

#qsmp #slimecicle

[holybibly]

Today's unholy hours, bunnies

"This is exactly what you wanted, doll. Isn't it? Just what you need. Am I right?" Yeosang whispered in your ear, his deep, husky voice sending a shiver down the length of your spine.

The sound of your soft, half-choked moaning rang out in the evening silence of the practically empty library. The corner behind the tall bookshelves provided enough privacy for the two of you at this late hour, hiding you from the staff and other students who might accidentally wander into the most remote section of the Ancient Korean Literature section.

Yeosang's sneering laugh is accompanied by a particularly hard thrust of his hips while his cold, hard hands press you more firmly against the wooden table.

"And what? I'm not going to get a single sarcastic comment from you to answer that, bunny? The cat's got your tongue."

Any attempt at a reply or contradiction is cut short by the powerful, deep thrusts of Yeosang's hips as he drives his thick, wiry cock deeper into your screaming, needy cunt. He was fucking you so hard and so fast that it practically knocked all the air out of your lungs.

You hated him. You hated him so fucking much, but the feeling was stronger than you. Yeosang was making you crazy, and trying to deny feeling attracted to him was just stupid.

You wanted to turn away from the wicked, sneering grin on the handsome blond sempai's face, but he wouldn't let you. Yoe kept your fierce, defiant gaze on his angelic face, digging his fingers into your soft cheek and covering your mouth with his palm, so that you could barely breathe, choking on your own moans as Yeosang continued to fuck you mercilessly.

"Such obedience; I like you much more like this, doll~"

Your hands clutched at his shirt, crumpling the once perfectly ironed fabric, your nails scratching across his collarbones and the bulging muscles of his chest, leaving bright red scratches on his skin, when you rolled your eyes at the feeling of the orgasm that was about to come. Fuck, it was too good to be true, and you knew full well that you'd be kicking yourself for it afterwards, but fuck, Yeosang was fucking divine.

Who would have thought that your angelic sempai, Kang Yeosang, could be a real freak in bed?

You couldn't even make a sound of protest—just a whimper as he slowed his movements, denying you pleasure for the third time today. Fucking bastard. Your eyebrows furrowed in annoyance as you squirmed in your seat, letting out a muffled, frustrated moan that was too loud, even though Yeosang was still covering your mouth with his hand. The sharp sensation of your orgasm slowly began to fade into a small, pulsating stream of pleasure.

You were so wet you were probably sitting in a puddle of your own slime, judging by the nasty squelching sound you heard when Yeosang's cock was halfway out of your cunt. The amusement that danced in his foxy hazel eyes was so obvious and only grew as you raised your tearful puppy eyes up to him, and your coarseness and defiance dissolved into a silent plea for him to finally let you cum.

"Oh, wilful little slut wants to cum? Not such a cheeky little thing anymore, Y/N, eh? I told you to be quiet, doll. If you want to finally come on my cock, be quiet; otherwise, I'll be the one who cum tonight." That's how deep and sultry his voice was; it was just illegal. How could you resist him?

You nod desperately at what he says, and Yeosang responds by smiling smugly. The sweet expression on his face hides his sinister intentions as he begins to move again, this time with an even harder and more brutal thrust. His taut balls slap against your pussy with each rhythmic movement, and you bite his hand, causing the handsome sempai to hiss slightly in pain.

"You little bitch..." Yeosang hissed, changing the angle of his movements so that the head of his thick cock was now hitting your sweet spot with every thrust, and this time he had no intention of stopping.

You tensed, feeling the almost painful throbbing of your approaching orgasm, your eyes rolling back as wave after wave of overwhelming pleasure washed over you, shaking you to the core. For all your hatred of Yeosang, it was worth it. His cock was made of fucking gold.

His moans were barely audible as you clenched around his cock, his warm, thick seed staining the walls of your womb, and your pussy seemed to pull him even deeper in and hold him there, clinging tightly to the velvety length of his cock. All your senses were overloaded with pleasure, and every heavy sigh and every growling wheeze that Yeosang emitted seemed to prolong your orgasm, driving you deeper and deeper into a state of euphoria until you felt no connection to your body and black dots began to dance before your eyes.

When you finally managed to regain consciousness, you were lying on his lap, and your clothes had been returned to the tidy state they had been in before. You looked lazily around, still feeling heavy and unable to move. You rolled your eyes in annoyance as your still slightly unfocused gaze fell on the book in his hand.

"Are you serious, Yeosang? Classical poetry? You've just fucked my brains out, and you're still behave yourself like a good boy? Of course, the exemplary sempai, Kang Yeosang."

"Ah, now that cheeky mouth of yours is back again. I guess you haven't learned your lesson, doll; you have to be quiet in the library."

#ateez smut #kpop smut #atz smut #ateez hard hours #ateez unholy hours #smut #ateez scenarios #ateez au #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic #kang yeosang smut #yeosang smut #yeosang x reader

[dontcryminecraft]

red team purgatory day one

half of red team isn't here, nobody knows how to actually PLAY MINECRAFT, and the only person remotely good at pvp here is philza. Carre carries everyone and is off doing his own thing. Even IF the other half of the team is there, the only person i can accurately gauge the ability of is WILBUR, and i have zero faith in his skills lol. Everyone is realizing how much they're going to have to stream, and some will have to change their schedules in order to play effectively. Charlie doesn't stream for 5 hours, but he has to be here for all of this, and it becomes VERY CLEAR, VERY QUICKLY, WHY HE DOESN'T. His voice is dead and he is unravelling at the seams. He hates it here more than anyone. only half of his breakdown is a joke. They're drying. Cellbit and Slime had ENOUGH and just beat each other with sticks. They're devolving and screaming about how much they hate this and they're manic and their arms feel numb and tingly and badboyhalo keeps killing them and they keep dying and life hates them. Jaiden told badboyhalo to kill himself. In a fit of rage they declared that they no longer care about the eggs and they'd rather just go home. They're planning on logging in on Monday only to build a house and start Egg Island Survival LetsPlay where they make an Emerald Empire and only respond in Villiager Hrmms. now they're sing/screaming as their base burns around them, and i can't tell what they're supposed to be singing but they kept repeating "say something I'm giving up on you" and someone started playing the Living TombStone FNAF song. Phil got a globe and gifted everyone a fidget toy to spin and they're just sitting and spinning. Baghera just realized that Phil already had all the saplings they need and she wasted her time, so Phil took off his armor so the two can could fight. Baghera lost even though she had a diamond sword, so Phil just let her kill him so she can be happy. Corpses scatter across their yard. They're killing each other. I started typing this with 20 minutes left and I'm witnessing the longest fucking 20 minutes of my life how is there still 7-whatever minutes left??? CELLBIT JUST CONFESSED TO THE MURDERS AND THEY'RE CONFESSING TO THEIR SINS NOW???? I CAN'T TELL IF CHARLIE'S CONFESSION ABOUT JUANAFLIPPA AND THE CODE IS CANON???? Charlie suggests a cannibalism arc and everyone wants to go absolutely FERAL and cellbit it trying to act normal about that idea and kinda fails at it. And it all ends with everyone being banned to enforce the 5-hour rule. We're Free...for today. And despite this, they don't want to change teams and they're actually looking forward to suffering with friends :) ...nevermind they're planning on selling wilbur to get a better advantage.

#ahyes an original post #they're my favorite team #hands down #no questions #qsmp #qsmp purgatory #qsmp red team #purgatory red team #philza #foolish #cellbit #slimecicle #jaidenanimations #baghera

[savannahsdeath]

a part 2 of -this- ❈ dealer!ellie . an unspecified-criminal's daughter!reader and her father's reunion . this is v short but this lil part had to be done anyway and the next part(s?) will be a rollercoaster istg!!!

warnings: only smoking and language

she tried to cover up her surprise with a nervous smile on her lips. the same lips which quickly ended up babbling curses anyway.

you hesitantly grinned at the view of the spooked girl. "yeah, daughter!" you haughtily declared, though your voice was even more surprised than hers.

"holy shit." she extended her hand. "i'm ellie. i work for him."

"you do?" you almost squealed and shook her hand, murmuring your own name in exchange. she started to lead the way and you were happy to see that you were walking in the right direction the whole time.

"yeah. it's nice to meet you, tho..." without turning around, she looked at you over her shoulder, as if to make sure you're still following her footsteps. "he never told me he has a kid—" and just like that, in a swift moment — like a snap of fingers, she realised why.

you didn't know what to answer. you weren't shocked, yet something about this fact made you somber and melancholic. you just nodded, before slightly changing the topic to a more optimistic side. "so, what is he like?"

she turned and started walking down a narrow, claustrophobic street, which welcomed you with two buildings surrounding your sides.

you couldn't help but feel like your question knocked her out of rhythm. "uh-oh— well, he's a good guy, just... harsh," she admitted, "but i'm sure he will treat you like a princess."

you smirked as you got to an exposed surface again.

ellie stopped in front of a meager pub. "trust me, you prefer to not come inside. i'll call him outside in a second, 'kay?"

you agreed and restlessly stamped your foot while waiting. you forcefully put the letter in your pocket, crushing it mercilessly. all you could hear was the muffled voices of men inside and the smashed piece of paper, which crunched as your leg moved.

ellie came out in the presence of a man twice your age. you tried to notice any similarities between you both and, though you couldn't point out any specific ones, you were sure you have his genes.

the girl backed away and leaned against the pub's wall, leaving some space for you. she took a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and stuck one between her thumb and index finger.

you felt the paving tiles turning sticky like a slime, making you unable to take a step in any direction. all you could do was stare at him, with your lips going dry, aching head and eyes unable to cry, yet lachrymose.

you cleared your throat and heard him whisper your name, as he stood right in front of you now. he raised his hands and cupped your face with them, lightly caressing your skin. yours found their place on his, brushing your fingers against his. you felt his muscles flex and hypothetically but properly conjectured his job made him strong, whatever it was.

you smiled, favoring him with your pearly whites. your cheeks felt scorching, almost sizzling and your whole body somehow painfully tingly. he pulled away after what seemed like eternity and patted your shoulder.

"what a pretty girl" he whispered, amazed and dazed, before taking a step aside, revealing you to ellie's eyes. "she looks just like me, doesn't she?"

as the girl parted her lips, a cloud of smoke soared and smudged in the air. "i can't spot any differences," she shouted, "it's hard to tell you two apart. identical like two drops of water!"

your father gently but quickly spun you around, so you weren't facing her anymore. "not funny!" he hissed, what made you flinch, though you could hear ellie chuckle in response. he turned back to you, his hand landed on the small of your back. "i know a very good restaurant near!" he exclaimed, moreover you just noticed how hungry you are and how much things there are to tell and talk about.

✧˖°

taglist: @bellaramslover @gold-dustwomxn @loverg1rlll @juliluvsu @timmy-27 @marianeski @kuromicoree @inf3ct3dd @mikellie @elliewilliamsonlygirlfriend @syrenada @drunkzuko @florencepughismybae @weridcattty @kanksaint @villainousbear @coff1nn @emst4rr @thehungrygayterpillar-blog @skylerwhitwyo @macaroni676 @cupid1ink @xen222 @onlinelesbo @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @elliew-illiamsmissingfingers @mochiivqi @lilylynne11 @sevvenspit @williamsblogxx @707bnnyy @poopypeen @agajahan @kali-1014 @lullsss @corpsebridenightamare

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie x y/n #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x platonic!reader #ellie x you #ellie x reader fluff #ellie williams x reader fluff

[yestrnight]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ POCKET SLIME ! part two

FROM : cyno, tighnari / slime! gn! reader

SUBJECT :  after fucking the brains out of your masters, cyno and tighnari senses that’s something amiss. they suspect foul play and it has something to do with the cute stranger following them around. little do they know that you’re just a cute, innocent slime– well, as cute as you can be when you’re breaking them in.

LINK : (1) kavetham

( back with the monster doujin agenda bitches; dubcon; throat fucking (tighnari); multiple tongues (tighnari); prostate teasing (nari); i might have a thing for prostates idk; smut is making me discover myself; tentacles; knotting; my inexperience bleeds thru my writing; ahegao; mindbreak )

when the gang meet up for another one of their friendly tavern meetings (usually forced into a genius invokation showdown by cyno), tighnari and cyno senses something off about their seniors. for one, kaveh doesn’t immediately jump on the opportunity to send a disdainful comment at alhaitham’s way, nor does the scribe make the effort to make a snide remark about kaveh’s drinking. instead, they make eye contact, blush, and avert their eyes.

cyno and tighnari raise their eyebrows at each other. “maybe they finally resolved the underlying sexual tension,” cyno suggests, to which tighnari gives him a hard nudge on his side. the mahamatra hides his snigger under his cards, but behind them he narrows his eyes to observe his seniors a bit more.

the conversation with them is stilted— the two roommates are distracted and dazed, and they have to snap them out of it every minute or so just to bring them back to the topic at hand. sometimes they whisper to each other, uncharacteristically forgetting about tighnari's hypersensitive ears, but thanks to that he hears some interesting things. 

"where are they?" alhaitham hisses to kaveh, to which the blonde looks frantic and confused.

"i don't know!" he whispers back, albeit more worried than his counterpart. "what if they got lost? or attacked? ah… maybe i should pick them up. this is all your fault!" 

"my fault for training them to fit into human society? please," haitham scoffs. "if they're gonna live in my house then i expect them to—” suddenly, the tavern doors slowly creak open, and a shy head pops out to survey the room. the duo immediately snap their heads to look, and the newcomer brightens up when they lay their eyes on them. 

cyno and tighnari watch as they rush towards the two and engulf them in a hug, nearly knocking them from their chairs. their speech is incomprehensible to them, like gurgles, but it seems that kaveh and alhaitham understand it enough to hold a fretted conversation with them. kaveh is fussing over them, checking their body for any injuries, while alhaitham demands a full report on their day.

“went to the market, like masters told me to!” the newcomer beams up at them. they hold up the bag they were carrying, full of groceries, and kaveh coos and brings them in for a tight hug.

“oh you poor, poor thing!” kaveh bemoans, tearing up at your innocent smile before shooting haitham a sharp glare. “i cannot believe you sent them out like that without telling me! you know they don’t know anything yet!”

haitham is about to retort, before cut off by the stares of their two juniors. “uh, excuse me,” cyno speaks up, staring blankly at the obviously non-human entity in front of him. “is that your child?”

haitham and kaveh choke. you smile even brighter.

✧.*  TIGHNARI

TIGHNARI whose gift of being hypersensitive to everything lets him know what exactly type of creature you are when you walk through the tavern doors. it should be obvious, with how your body jiggles and the muffled squelching from your sandaled feet. the baggy clothes do well to hide most of your body, but TIGHNARI is one of the best researchers, and there’s no use hiding anything from him.

you’re a slime, but one that he hasn’t seen before. haitham detects TIGHNARI’s curious gaze and clears his throat. he explains how kaveh picked you up and how you revealed your ability to shift into a humanoid form (though he leaves out the filthy details for his dignity’s sake), and makes a request: that TIGHNARI look after you. there are many things that they don’t know about you and your special condition, and who better to trust this topic of research to than amurta’s leading researcher? haitham expresses that it’d be nice if they could take their hands off you for a while, and when TIGHNARI asks why, the pair averts their gaze and mumbles something about you being too distracting.

TIGHNARI who brings you to ghandarva ville and starts inspecting you. you let out a bubbly laugh every time he pokes and prods you, and even a few surprised squeaks when he touches the more sensitive spots. he observes how you vocalize and how your jelly constitution contributes to how warbly your speech sounds. you are made out of elemental energy, just like how normal slimes are, and yet he can’t grasp on how the hell you’re like this. some sort of experiment maybe?

whatever you are, TIGHNARI deems you useful enough to help around the village for your stay. he can’t have you revealing your identity to the villagers just yet, so you’re usually cooped up inside his home. the extra limbs you can make is useful, and you serve as a good cushion whenever collei drops something. he does feel bad for imprisoning you somewhat, so he makes a point to return to you as soon as possible. when he comes back, he can usually find you in your round slime form moping on his bed, only to quickly revert to your humanoid form when he walks through the door. un(?)fortunately, shifting shapes doesn’t exactly give you any clothes, so whenever you leap on him to welcome him back, he usually gets a faceful of chest.

TIGHNARI who one day comes home more tired than usual, stressed out by a group of stupid adventurers who angered a pack of rishboland tigers. he wants nothing more than to sleep, and apparently you can sense that, with how you slowly approach him. his tired eyes note how worried you look and he puts that info aside for later. “tired?” you cock your head, observing his slumped shoulders and drooping eyes. “i can help! have helped masters kaveh ‘n haitham before!” he thinks you’re offering a massage, because what else could you be offering? so he nods and lies down for you to do your work.

TIGHNARI who absolutely does not expect a cold tendril to snake under his clothes, and he yelps when he feels your weight on top of him. you’re smiling down at him with your usual innocent, brain empty one, but he feels something darker in your gaze. you giggle when more tendrils come out of your back, and they carefully peel off his clothes (your masters have scolded you over and over again about melting their clothes) . “wh– [your name]!” TIGHNARI sounds panicked as you strip him, and tries to cover himself up as he blushes under your intense gaze. “this is nowhere near appropriate! stop this at once– ah!”

you peel off one hand off his chest and admire his lean muscles. he shivers when he feels your cold fingers lightly circle his hardening nipples before they trail down his sides until you firmly plant your hands at his waist. he tries to squirm out of your grip, trying to deny the heavy haze settling over his mind, but you only lightly laugh while you saddle him. “been very long~” you purr, nuzzling his face and pouting up at him. “haven’t fed from masters in a long time. nari will give me food, yeah?” 

“f-food?” he lightly gasps in between your stroking. “i-if you want food, you could just ask meEE~! a-ah, stop that, y-you…!” too late, though. you’re licking and kissing all over his face, body grinding over his crotch as you shower him with your way of love. you grab his face with both hands to properly face you, and you eagerly devour his lips. your tongue parts his lips for you to dive in deeper, and TIGHNARI, giving in to the temptation, leans in towards the kiss.

you smile at this and press even deeper, your tongue wrapping his and stroking it up and down like it was cock. he should be ashamed at this filthy display, but he was too lost in the pleasure as he wraps his hands around you and brought you even closer. something sprouts from the back of your mouth– more tendrils– and his eyes widen when they join the single one in his mouth. more of them explore his mouth, obscene squelching noise reverberating in his head, and two even coil together to fuck his throat deep. the stimulation makes his toes curl and his fingers dig into your jelly mass till they’re sunk in deep. 

when you finally pull away, TIGHNARI choking as the tendrils slither out of his throat, he looks up at you. you smile at your work– fluttering and hazy eyes, tongue out, heavy panting, and a deep blush. “wh-what was that…? what did you…?”

 giggling at his curiosity, you open your mouth. “beh~” a multitude of tendrils squirm in your mouth, in place of where a human tongue should be. “master kaveh likes this very much! he trained me to do it~! and now, nari loves them too, yes?” he blushes harder, but he can’t find it in himself to deny it. ‘kaveh, you filthy degenerate…’ TIGHNARI makes a mental note to give him a good talking to later.

he finds himself staring at your tongues, rubbing his legs together as he remembers the pure ecstasy of fitting them all inside his mouth, and gulps. he's a respected amurta researcher, leader of the forest rangers… he shouldn't be lowering himself to such acts. but… but! TIGHNARI whimpers as he tries to soothe the fire inside him, his ears flattening. they felt so good… and well, this does count as research, right?

"[your name]..." he softly calls out, shyly taking his pants off as he stares at you hungrily. "p-please… i'll feed you even more, okay?" he can't believe what he's doing right now, but he slowly spreads his tiny asshole and looks at you pleadingly. "do it to me more, please ♡ ?"

soon, TIGHNARI finds his legs stretched up to his head, and the mischievous grin you give him as you eye his pink hole. there's something so deliciously depraved about this position and how it leaves him vulnerable to your attacks, and he can only watch through fingers as he hides his face. he watches as you lean in and lick his hole a few times, wetting and teasing it altogether, and gasps everytime your tongue passes over it. when he grinds into your mouth hoping you’ll do something… more, you laugh at him before finally fucking him with your tongues.

TIGHNARI who has his back arched beautifully, gasping and moaning as he stares wide-eyed at the ceiling. “ah~can’t b-believe this feels so– ah!-- so gooood~♡” the feeling of two tongues coiled around each other, thrusting in and out of his ass like another form of cock, has him seeing stars. perhaps it’s his animal instincts, but he quickly gets hooked on the feeling, and he grinds his ass in time to the thrusting of your tongues. “oooh, ngh, deeperrr~ go even deeper~♡” he grabs your jelly hair and starts moving your head back and forth, using you like a dildo so he can satisfy himself.

he knows you can go deeper, that you have the ability to shove your tongue so deep you’ll form a new womb. but you don’t, and he knows it’s on purpose by the mischievous glint in your eyes. “ooh ♡ wh-what are you doing…?” he sobs, thrusting your head harder as he tries to make you hit his prostate. “it’s not enough, not enough! make me cum, make me cum pleaseee!” but you’re always just an inch too short, barely grazing over the bundle of nerves but never truly touching. TIGHNARI hiccups as he grows even more frustrated.

you slip out of his grasp, as fluid as the slime that you are, and smile innocently at him. “nnoooo can dooo~” slowly, you finally align your cock at his hole, the tip nudging against the hungry little thing. “can’t have nari cum yet~ studied so much for him~” 

“s- study…?” only when he finally takes a peek at your cock, does he understand the meaning behind your words. a fat pair of balls, and a large, throbbing cock with a knot at its base. ah, you naughty little slime… you must have been reading his animal biology books while he was away, weren’t you? he doubts you understood anything from his complicated textbooks, but no doubt you used the images for reference.

he swipes a tongue on his lower lip, and uses his hands to present you his needy hole. ah~ he can’t help it at all~ he’s a man, a male fox hybrid… so why are the instincts of a vixen overcoming him? his mindless heart eyes stare hungrily at your cock, and pushes against the tip in hopes that you finally get to fuck him.

NARI who doesn’t think anything but your cock and your cock alone, who’s presenting himself like a bitch in heat. through his tears of frustration, he sobs for you to finally set him free from this agonizing torture. “[your name]~” he whines, like the debauched bitch that he is. “breed me, breed me pleaseeee ♡”

✧.* CYNO

CYNO who feels the same feeling of oddness from tighnari as he did from haitham and kaveh. when he goes to visit you and his friend, he can see the blush on the fox hybrid’s face whenever you’re brought up. he averts his eyes and fiddles with his fingers, looking away from him in an attempt to hide his growing blush. it’s exactly how guilt criminals act like, and his interest only piques.

when tighnari leaves for a patrol, CYNO enters his home to take a look at you. he doesn’t know what exactly tighnari has done with you, but it must be something bad to get the ever-collected researcher to act this distracted. he sees you in the normal slime form, that round squishy ball of cuteness, and a small surprised squeak from you when you see him has you morphing into a human form. a sound of surprise escapes him when you morph– naked body and all– and when you hug him, literally melting into him, he freezes. now he understands tighnari’s reaction.

CYNO who has you kneeling down the floor and is about to lecture you on the importance of clothes until you pout up at him, and he can’t help falling for that cuteness. “thought cy came to play with me?” an arrow struck his conscience. “why is cy so mad with me…?” another arrow struck his conscience. he doesn’t really have the heart to make you suffer through a lecture when you’re just a slime who barely knows the ways of humans. he sighs, a palm to his head, and decides to just observe you for now.

ecstatic to be closer to your masters’ and nari’s friend, you quickly show him around tighnari’s house. it’s something that CYNO has seen a thousand times before, but there are some added furniture for you. there’s a hammock by the window for you to sleep on (you add that nari is too shy to sleep with you, much to the general’s added interest), plants that serve as your snacks that nari cultivated to have elemental energy, and you pull out some of tighnari’s textbooks that you say you read in your spare time. judging by the way you keep pointing at the illustrations, there’s no doubt you can read a single letter of human language. but you’re cute when you happily describe the pictures anyway, so CYNO smiles fondly.

“here!” you flip to a page on animal biology and point to a jackal, then points at the headpiece that CYNO put away by the door. “reminds me of you!” he hums, scootching to you closer to get a better look. you don’t have any heat like how a human should, nor do you have the temperature of a pyro or cryo slime. dendro and geo slimes have this earthy scent to them while you’re scentless, you don’t zap him like how an electro slime does, and you’re clearly not anemo since you’re made out of some liquid. he should check on nari’s research on you later.

“and this!” you flip to another page, and CYNO suddenly starts choking on his spit. a picture of two jackals mating takes up a quarter of the page, and he hurriedly closes the book. he can’t have an innocent thing like you looking at such things! when he looks at you to warn you about these kinds of things, he’s greeted by your lusty leer as you press your noses together. “... they remind me of you too, cy~no~♡”

CYNO who you quickly consume with your smile, the lower half of his body completely seated in your jelly body, while the upper half leans on your chest as a cushion. you give him no time to struggle as you wrap your arms around his lean chest and lean in to lick his ear. he shudders at the new sensation, gasping as your tongue pokes and prods just at the hole. he’s clinging to your hand as you tease and blow his ear, and you giggle when a particular puff of air sends him shuddering in your touch.

“cyno~” you hum, one hand to trail down and twist his nipple. he moans at the sudden pain, and you take it as a sign to continue further. you pinch and tug at his cute brown areolas, giggling when his jaw slacks as he continues to moan and drool. “cyno is very cute~ like masters haitham and kaveh~ and nari-nari too~♡”

it should come as a shame to him, for the general mahamatra to succumb to such pleasures and be downgraded with a label like ‘cute.’ but he finds himself only nuzzling into your hand when you cup his cheeks, and moaning when you press a sloppy kiss to his cheeks. “gh~♡ i… i don’t understand this feeling~” he pants into your mouth, looking at you with a lust half-lidded gaze. “‘s all too– a-ahh… ♡– too muchhh~” 

“hmm… cyno’s never had sex before?” his inital judgment was wrong— you were nowhere near innocent. “that’s okay~! i can teach cyno sex like the maker taught me!” giggling, you tighten the mass around CYNO’s cock and watch as he gasps and sinks even deeper into your chest. “first, you go shhlick!” CYNO gasps when he feels multiple tendrils slowly enter his ass, slowly thrusting in and out to accomodate the slowly growing length inside him.

“h-huh?” while the slime inside him slowly expands, CYNO’s eyes widen when he sees a little bump on his stomach, and he hurriedly puts his palm on it as if to push it down. “wh-what’s going on? why… why is my stomach like… like that?”

you giggle at his confusion and panic, pressing a sweet kiss on his ear to which he shudders at. “cy-cy is very innocent, hm?” you gently clasp his shaking hand and slowly caress the little bump. “that is my cock inside you! and soon…~” you thrust up, eliciting a girly yelp from the white-haired man. “soon, my baby will be there too!”

before he can even question your words, your slimy length starts pounding him up and down. each thrust his prostate, and CYNO can barely process his feelings right now as you continue driving the slime deep into his ass. his legs shake while sunk deep into your slime, and through the translucent [color] mass he can see his hard cock leaking pre-cum. “o-ooh~♡ f-feels so goood ♡” his shaky moans is almost lost in the indecent wet slapping of your sex, and his eyes roll backwards when you squeeze the jelly around his cock. “ahhh~ah, ah, ah fuu~ck ♡ ooh, yeah, fuck me deeper into my hole pleeasseeee– thank you thankyouthankyouthankyouuuu ♡♡”

soon, you press CYNO onto his chest, your slime body beneath him accommodating his nipples by creating suction holes that suckle on them nonstop. his sweaty back faces you, and in the back of his mind, he’s thankful enough that you don’t have to see the absolutely fucked-out look he’s been wearing this entire time.

“cyno is very good at sex~” you hum, lovingly stroking his hair while you continue thrust into him like a beast. “you can cum into me, then you’ll be just like my masters and the others~♡”

✧.* IT’S A THREESOME!

you lean back on TIGHNARI’s chair, enjoying the show before you. two tentacles drive themselves deep into CYNO’s ass, leaving him no room to breath as they fuck a bump into his belly. sobbing at the overstimulation and sapped out of energy after being fucked for over an hour, his hands grip tighnari’s own as he incomprehensibly cries out pleas of mercy.

his friend, on the other hand, is a bit more energetic. tighnari grinds against the breeding cock fucking into him, a wide and satiated smile distorting his usually calm features. his rhythm is downright animalistic, and his eyes are only fixated on your knotted dick as he watches it slide in and out of his wet hole. he’s drooling, eyes empty with nothing but sexsexsex behind them, so in love with you and the pleasures you offer that they’ve morphed into hearts.

“p-please… breed me more, please ♡” nari can feel the knot slapping against his ass, and cyno watches in shame as his best friend sobs trying to shove the entire thing in. “kn-knot me, please ♡ fill me with pups… your pups ♡! [y-your name] i’m begging youuuu ♡”

“n-nari…” cyno whimpers, holding the fox’s hands tighter. “can’t– ooh ♡– can’t think anymore…”

you giggle behind them, suspending them midair as you and your limbs pull them closer to you. “you don’t have to think anymore cy-cy ♡” you hum, stroking his chin before kissing him deep. both of you can feel tighnari’s hungry stare as you and cyno share a sloppy kiss, and you soothe his growing jealousy by shifting your attention and kissing him too. while cyno sits by dazed, nari eagerly laps up all the slimes you have to offer, taking them in like a man in a desert. “no one has to think at all ♡”

they can feel your cocks pulsing inside them, evident in the way they begin to pound themselves on your lengths. while cyno struggles to take your squirming tentacles to their base, tighnari’s broken laughter fills the air as he readies himself to take in that breeding knot. soon enough, hot and viscous slime erupt inside them, and their bodies arch in a silent scream as they feel you giving them more than they could take. 

the general goes slack in your hold, body twitching and spasming as the tentacles spurt more wave after wave of sweet nectar inside him. tighnari releases a moan of relief as you force the knot all the way in, and when you pull, he squeaks as he gets pulled alongside your cock. he gives you a pouty glare whilst his partner stares slack-jawed at the ceiling.

ah~ if only your creator could see you right now, fulfilling the very reason you were born to do. you wonder if he’ll be very proud of you, to have the four of the finest men in sumeru succumb to your temptations. he had always told you that you were less slime and more of a demon, anyway. you don’t exactly know what a ‘demon’ is, but judging by the happy and satisfied looks on your friends’ faces, you’re sure that it’s something that makes humans verryyy happy, right ♡ ? 

#*ੈ✩‧₊˚ next stop! creator & his test subject #genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin impact x reader #cyno smut #tighnari smut #genshin cyno #genshin tighnari #genshin x reader #cyno #tighnari #nite.writes

[clubforfrogs]

Slip Ups (Pt.1?) Poly Marauders x reader

Authors Note: Hey! This is my first ever fic so it might not be the best. The reader is Gryffindor, and the Marauders are already in a relationship. Lmk if you want a part two!

It was no secret that the marauders were fond of their pranks. Magical slime that only they knew the spell to remove, changing the color of the Slytherins robes to a deep red and gold instead of the usual silver and green, it was all commonplace at Hogwarts. But what you couldn’t figure out was why their favorite pranks were the ones they pulled on you. 

Now their pranks towards you were never cruel. They were always small things like staring water balloon fights with you and your friends during the warmer months or them charming your shoes so that they grow one size bigger every time you jump (it had taken you a while to figure that one out). Even though their pranks were almost pitifully small, something about them just irked you. You weren’t particularly close, and you certainly hadn’t made enemies with them. You would have had to talk to them to do that! On top of all of this, the flirting was incessant.

You couldn’t make it through a single class without a “Is that a new perfume? You smell delicious,” (James) or a “Has anyone told you that you look absolutely ravishing today?” (Sirius)

It was certainly flattering, but it was also public. Didn’t they have any shame? You braced yourself as you walked to Defense Against the Dark Arts. As was to be expected you saw James, Sirius, and Remus talking loudly amongst themselves, stopping when you walked into the classroom. You made your way over to your regular seat, coincidentally right behind where they were standing.

Sirius grinned , “Did you somehow get even more gorgeous overnight? Give my poor heart a break L/n.” Remus and James both looked amused at Sirius’ remark. Remus replied to Sirius with a shocked expression, “You’re right,” he clutched his chest, “James catch me,” he said dramatically as he fell into James’ outstretched arms. You shook your head as a blush started to creep up your face. Luckily, the professor cleared his throat everyone took their seats as he began his lesson.

There was an open seat next to you, so James took it eagerly as Sirius and Remus sat in front of you. James leaned over and whispered in your ear, “We’re planning on sneaking around Hogwarts tonight, you wanna come?”

You turned to him with surprised look on your face. This was the first time any of them had ever invited you to break the rules with them, and you weren’t sure if that sounded like the smartest thing to do. You picked at your nails as you though about your answer. James, seeing the indecision on your face, spoke again, “C’mon… you’ll have a good time. We’d really like for you to join us.”

You studied James’ features. His sweet brown eyes showed nothing but sincerity, and to be truthful, you had made up your mind as soon as he offered. “Yeah, I suppose that could be fun,” you sighed out. James’ face immediately brightened and you couldn’t help but flush as you looked at him. Sirius had said you looked good today, but James. His smile was blindingly perfect. His dark curls laid on his head just messily enough for you to want to reach out and fix them. Or maybe you just wanted to run your fingers through his hair.

You had also noticed how good Remus and Sirius looked today. Remus with his sandy hair that laid considerably neater then James’, and eyes that you seemed to melt into entirely. Sirius had long, wavy black hair that made him look like a muggle rockstar. You were so lost in your thoughts about the boys around you that you didn’t realize you had been staring at James this entire time zoned out. He pushed your shoulder gently and whispered, “Where’d you go there?” “I was just,” you tried to find the right words, “lost in thought.” James looked at you teasingly, “Oh yeah? Because it looked an awful lot like you were checking us out.” His words made your eyes widen because of how close to the truth they were. You heard James chuckle as you turned away from him and started to scribble notes furiously as a distraction.

Once class ended, you decided to head off to the library. You had a free period, then lunch, so you knew you’d be able to study for the History of Magic exam you had to take tomorrow. You also knew, from overhearing the Marauder’s conversation, that Sirius and James planned on doing the same thing, while Remus had Herbology next. Not that you cared or anything…

Once you arrived at the library, you quickly found a quiet spot to do your work at. You were both annoyed and oddly pleased when you heard the loud voices of James and Sirius walk in not long after. They were loudly shushed by the librarian, causing them to quiet down. 

A few minutes later, you heard the sound of footsteps approaching, and the faces of James and Sirius popped into your vision. “Hey there gorgeous, you mind if we work over here with you?” Sirius asked while already haphazardly throwing a piece of parchment and a few quills onto the table. You rolled your eyes with a smile, “Yeah that’s fine. You guys studying for History of Magic too?”

James nodded his head. “Yeah, we wouldn’t usually do this until the class before but Remus said that he’d help us with the Potions essay if we did.” You hummed in acknowledgment as you opened up your textbook and began reviewing the material. Unfortunately for you, James and Sirius quickly grew bored of their textbooks and decided that you were far more interesting.

“Y/nnnn,” Sirius dragged your name out. You turned towards him and were met with the desperate eyes of both him and James. “Will you help us? We’re confused and you’re just so smart and beautiful and intelligent and kind and-“ 

You cut Sirius off, “Ok, ok. I’ll help you whiners out.” James pouted at your words which you ignored in favor of turning your book a few pages back. 

“Let’s start with chapter 4, it’s probably the easiest material so we can work our way up to chapters 5 and 6 after this. Are there any parts in particular you don’t get?” James perked up, “Yeah, in the part about The Goblin Rebellion of 1832, it says that the Goblins refused to work for wizards until wizards treated them better. But in the next paragraph, it says the rebelled because it’s ‘simply in their nature.’ Doesn’t that kind of conflict?” 

You were surprised at how into studying James was, but welcomed it openly. “I had to look into that to. Turns out, this book was cowritten. One of the authors is an absolute twat who thinks goblins are some kind of wild beasts, and the other’s a bit more rational. Just ignore anything that seems super anti-goblin.” “That makes sense, thank you,” James smiled widely at you, making your breath catch for a second. You mumbled  a “No problem,” and continued working. You could see James and Sirius exchanging a smug look at that.

More time passed, around an half an hour if you had to guess. The two boys worked relatively hard, and made a lot of progress. But now seemed as if they had reached their limit. You felt a finger poke you in the ribs. You jump back. “Oi, what’s your problem?” You ask a startled looking Sirius. He quickly regains his composure and looks at you. “Can we take a break? It’s been sooo long.” You give him and incredulous look, “It hasn’t been an hour yet, let’s just work a little longer.” The boys look at you with equally begging looks. “Please, Y/n? We just need a little study break.” James whined. “Nope,” you said, popping the ‘P’. 

In response to your refusal, James and Sirius decided it’d be most effective to start alternating saying your name in increasing annoying voices. It didn’t take long for this to make your head pound, so you drew your wand and cast a quick muffliato spell on yourself, effectively making it impossible for you to hear the boys. This didn’t help you for long, as they realized what happened, and moved to start lightly poking you. You shot each boy a dirty look before undoing the muffliato charm. You were about to give them an earful before you heard a voice from behind you, “You wankers leave Y/n alone.” Remus came into view and gently smacked James and Sirius on the backs of their heads. They both fake winced and rubbed their heads. You were grateful for Remus, but you realized something, “Remus, shouldn’t you be in Herbology still? It doesn’t get over for another 15 minutes at least.” It occurred to Remus that you had memorized a bit of his schedule. He was definitely saving that information for later. “Yeah, some Slytherins thought it’d be fun to mess around with a venomous tentacula. One of them had to be taken to Madame Pomfrey and Professor Sprout was so shaken that she just dismissed the rest of us.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, “Yikes, I hope they’re alright.” “Serves that idiot right.” You and Sirius spoke at the same time. You gave him a scolding look and he just crossed his arms like an angry toddler. Remus chuckled at your guys’ antics. “Anyways, have you three managed to get any work done? Ya know, before you decided to start annoying Y/n,” Remus asked. James nodded, “That’s why we were ‘annoying’ her. We finished studying!” Remus raised an eyebrow at James. “Ok, what goblin business was the first to shut down as a result of the revolution?” James thought for a second before answering, “Gringotts!” Remus clapped quietly, “I’m impressed, Sirius, did you study just as hard?” “You know I did,” he winked at Remus. You saw a faint dusting of pink on Remus’ cheeks after the wink, causing Sirius to smirk. Remus was saved by the lunch bell.

All of the boys stood up, but you remained seated, ready to continue working on a paper assigned earlier in the week. “You coming to lunch, love?” You glanced over, realizing Remus’ words were directed at you. “Can’t, I’ve got to finish up my potions essay.” Sirius scoffed, “James and I already told you Remus was helping us with that. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind helping you as well. Besides, it’s not due for another week!” You looked at them uncertainly. Before today, you had only spoken to them during class and when they pulled their occasional pranks on you. This was new territory. But you weren’t going to refuse the ever-growing attention they were paying to you, so you slowly stood up. “Yeah I suppose I’m in need of a break anyways.” James gave a cheer and slung his arm around your shoulder. None of the boys missed how you blushed as he did so.

When you arrived at the Great Hall, you went to sit over with your normal group of friends. Sure the Marauders had made sure you came to lunch, but you didn’t want to overstay your welcome but inviting yourself to sit with them. Before you could take more then a few steps however, a hand caught your wrist. You looked to see James holding your arm, “Aren’t you gonna come sit with us?” You were surprised to see both Sirius and Remus looking so intently at you, awaiting your next words. “Uh, are you sure? I’m really not trying to overstep my bounds.” Sirius shook his head as if you had said something utterly ridiculous. “Overstepping? Please,” he ushered you over to their usual spot and sat you down, James taking the spot to your left. Remus sat across from you, Sirius sitting to his right. 

You had absolutely no idea what to say. Before today, the only interaction you’d had with the marauders was their constant flirting, and the occasional trips to Hogsmeade, and those trips were always with a bigger group. Luckily, the boys didn’t have any awkwardness in starting a conversation. “Lads, I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I think I may be a genius,” Sirius started. You and Remus shared a What is he on about? look as Sirius rambled about a new prank he wanted to pull on the Slytherins. 

“Ok, let me get this straight. You want to sneak into the snake pit, and charm their dormitory doors to open only if they say, ‘I’m a lousy, big footed git’?” You said in a disbelieving tone. “This seems a bit immature, even for you guys.” Sirius gave a mockingly offended look as James clutched his pearls and cried, “Not true!” You still believed the prank to be incredibly stupid, but also realized that Sirius’ silly rant had easily diffused any awkwardness you felt before. Merlin, Sirius was so good at easing your worries and breaking tension. And James made you laugh so easily. Remus made you comfortable and calmed you down and-

You suddenly felt a foot nudge you underneath the table. You looked up to see Remus giving you a confused glance. “Are you alright. You looked a bit lost in thought.” You nodded and played with the food on your plate to avoid any further questions. That, of course, didn’t work. “Were you thinking about someone special?” Sirius questioned while wiggling his eyebrows. James quickly perked up at that, “You did that during defense against the dark arts too!”

Shit. This was not how the hottest couple at Hogwarts was going to find out about your insane crush on all three of them. You didn’t think you could handle the embarrassment of being rejected not once, not twice, but three times in one day. In order to preserve your pride and avoid spilling your secret, you quickly stood up from the table while making some shitty excuse about how you suddenly weren’t feeling well. You rushed to the Gryffindor common room without so much as a glance back at their table. You made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady without hearing any footsteps behind you. Once inside the common room, you rushed into your dorm and decided that you would lay there for the rest of eternity, simple enough, right? Ok maybe that was a bit dramatic, but you really didn’t want to risk running into one of the boys and accidentally confessing, and ruining and chance of a friendship you had with them.

After what felt like hours of laying on your bed, you decided to risk going out to the common room and reading a book by the fire. It was dangerous of course, as the marauders could be lurking anywhere, but the prospect of being cozy while reading was simply to desirable to pass up. When you got the the couches, you quickly plopped down and made yourself comfortable. You opened your book, and started to read. 

You weren’t sure how long you had been reading for, but a long while later, you heard the oh so familiar voices of James, Sirius, and Remus walk down the stairs from their dormitory. You froze on the couch, hoping that they would simply waltz through the room and leave. They wouldn’t be able to see you if you stayed completely still right? You were positive your theory was going to be proven correct when something seemed to catch Remus’ attention. He turned and looked directly where you were sitting. “Y/n? What are you still doing up, we tried knocking on your dorm door just now, but we assumed you’d forgotten about our plans and fell asleep.” Oh no. You had forgotten James’ invitation to sneak around with them today. Now you were going to be with the boys all night. What could go wrong?

#remus lupin x reader #marauders x reader #james potter x reader #poly!marauders x reader #sirius black x reader #marauders x fem!reader #marauders #wolfstar x reader #poly!wolfstar x you #poly marauders x reader

[eggyrocks]

nail polish: k. bokuto

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bokuto’s hair is down, pushed out of his forehead with a wide headband, and the skin on his face is covered with a thick, wet green that he’s been told is a vitamin c mask.

“it’ll help clean the oil out of your pours,” is what she told him as she stood on the tips of her toes, biting down on her tongue as she spread the slime all over his face.

now, his fingers are spread out over her knee, his giant palm resting over the top of her thigh. slowly and deliberately, she drags the brush of blue polish over his nails. it’s the second coat now. “-and it was quite frankly just fucking rude. because like, it’s her birthday and you’re gonna text her, ask her for a favor, ask her to go out drinking with you to get over your lame breakup, and then only say happy birthday after you saw my post? like you don’t care about her let’s be real.”

bokuto nods solemnly. “that's kinda bitchy. like, oh, your birthday's just an afterthought to me, i don't really care."

"yes, exactly!"

"how long have they been friends now?”

“like fifteen years!” she exclaims, excitement making her halt her hand and look up at bokuto for some sort of reaction.

he shakes his head. "that's long enough to remember your friend's birthday."

“definitely long enough to know when her birthday is! she just bothers me because, like, she’s the type of person who cares more about whatever ugly boyfriend-of-the-month she has than her actual long-time best friends.”

bokuto exaggerates a pout. “is this how your friends talk about me? do they call me your ugly boyfriend-of-the-month?”

she snickers, returning her focus to his nails once more. “we’ve been dating for three years.”

“still.”

“all my friends love you,” she assures him. “you’re their favorite uber driver.”

he laughs, and in doing so, he moves his pinkie. it’s just a bit, not that much at all, but it’s enough to earn him a gentle flick to his bicep. “stop moving! you’re messing up my work!”

“i think they look pretty,” bokuto assures her, and lifts his other hand up in the air, wiggling his fingers and examining the way the shiny blue reflects the light. “hinata’s gonna be so fucking jealous.”

she bites down on the inside of her cheek. “i just know they’re gonna be chipped to high hell after one practice.”

“then you’ll just have to paint them again,” he tells her. “next time paint them gold so they match my uniform.”

“aye, aye,” she nods, bright grin accompanied by a red tinge to her cheeks.

bokuto leans forward and places a kiss on the crown of her head. “can you put your initials on them?"

she quirks an eyebrow at him. "why do you want my initials on them?"

he grins. "you gotta mark your property, babe."

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an: i wanna gossip with him so bad

#bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #haikyuu bokuto #hq bokuto #bokuto koutaro x reader #bokuto fluff #msby bokuto #bokuto x you #eggyrocks does slice of life #hq x you #hq x reader #hq fluff #hq fanfic #hq fic #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x imagines #haikyuu x y/n

[lonelypep]

every smash bros character ranked by how good of a cook i think they’d be.

82: piranha plant

eating this dish will kill you instantly. turns out he spit some poison in there while no one was looking. and yeah, that sucks, but if you even accepted a meal from this guy i think you have bigger problems

81: ridley.

let’s be real, if you let this guy into the kitchen, you made a huge mistake. it’s like john mulaney’s horse in a hospital sketch: you never know what he’s gonna do next. you’re too focused on getting him out.

80: king k rool.

king k rool is many things. a king, a pirate, a scientist. but he is not a cook. he’ll try, but he has literally no clue what he’s even doing in the kitchen.

79: yoshi

yoshi will give you a dish and you’ll be like “what the fuck is this” and he’ll talk about how it was made from the finest newborns of his home planet. i’m deciding to ignore it but it’s really nagging at me.

78: sonic

sonic shouldn’t be on this list. because he wouldn’t make you any food. he’ll go to the local sonic and get a burger in about 3 minutes. it sucks. disqualified.

77: pac man

what can i say. it tastes like literal plastic. i don’t even wanna know how he made it. i’ll give it back to him but the nice thing about pac man is he wouldn’t give a shit.

76: bowser jr.

fuck this guy. he rage quit at making a grilled cheese. now there’s a literal canonball in the stove. now no one else can use it!! this is what happens when you spoil kids.

75: pikachu/pichu

these two are in the same category since they’d make the same thing. they’d get store bought french fries and fry them with lighting outside. it’s consistent, it works, just not really filling. and they don’t know how to make anything else.

74. wario

don’t get me wrong: he knows what he’s doing. he’s the burger king of smash. he’s this low because the burger is the most unhealthy shit you’ll ever have. eating it gave you chronic diarrhea, gastrointestinal issues, and permanently damaged your taste buds. but god fucking damn was it a good burger.

73. hero

he gave you a single piece of bread with butter on it. it’s not bad but…really dude?

72: olimar

he didn’t make you a bad meal, in fact it was one of the best here. but that’s because he didn’t make you something. it was the pikmin and he’s trying to pass it off as his own and the pikmin don’t know because they don’t speak english. 0/10: not fucking cool dude.

71: kazuya

honestly? i don’t trust this guy. i was too intimidated to even ask his name. from what i can gather no one even invited him to the party he just showed up and made a mediocre meal. what’s weird: someone came into the kitchen and claimed this guy killed their whole family. we never saw that guy again. needless to say, kazuya wasn’t invited to the afterparty.

70: link (botw)

don’t get me wrong here, link is a five star chef. he’s just really unsanitary. apparently he cut the meat and vegetables with the same sword he killed calamity ganon with. i don’t wanna taste that guy!! have you seen him?? not to mention he pulled the meal out of his pants. i don’t even know how it fit in there.

69: inkling

she made a pancake and i thought it was good! but i absolutely can’t condone this. inkling left so much fucking weird slime and shit all over my house. and got really competitive when she heard i was getting meals from everyone else. i hope they’re all ok.

68: ROB

it was so processed. the most processed food i’ve ever had in my entire life. it’s not his fault, rob is a great guy. but this tasted like literally nothing.

67: ice climbers

when they told me they were making dessert, i trusted them. but i let someone else taste test first. my best friend was sent to the hospital because of tongue frostbite. didn’t even know that was a thing. i made the ice climbers pay for it (they’re fucking loaded)

66: villager

he made isabelle do it. and she made something great! but i’m not giving this cretin credit for having the money to afford a five star chef. you don’t deserve it because you sold a shit ton of tarantulas villager!!

65: lucario.

dude got really mad and destroyed my kitchen. he’s REALLY lucky he got the burger PERFECTLY cooked.

64: male byleth.

like this dude knows how to cook. he can barely make chicken nuggets. he has to eat in the school cafeteria simply because he never learned how to cook a simple meal. but he’s a really nice guy. total himbo. love him.

63: ryu

i asked this guy what he likes to eat. big mistake. he then went on to say that his training regiment doesn’t condone copious indulgence (his words) and he lives off of nothing but protein shakes. you do you i guess.

62-61: fox/falco

these two went into the kitchen and came out with weird alien food. i didn’t eat it but everyone else seemed to enjoy it

60: greninja

when he first came out i was so excited. he came out with the most finely sliced food i had ever seen in my entire life. but it was soooo watered down. everything tasted like celery. how do you make crab taste like celery?? how??!

59-58: simon/richter

these guys both made the same exact fish recipe, came out at the same time, and proceeded to fight each other. i didn’t get to try any 😭

57-49: every fire emblem character.

genuinely, i can’t tell these guys apart. or their food choices. honestly, my bad. i’m sure they’re good. but where do i even start.

48: sheik

she doesn’t know how to cook. she kidnapped someone else. normally i wouldn’t put someone like that this high but a. i have gender envy b. it’s for the greater good (or so she said)

47: cloud

dude made a great sandwich but he kept screaming random noises while he did. personally, i’m just glad he managed not to destroy the kitchen. that’s a first here.

46: captain falcon

he promised he’d pick up some pizza but got into a car crash on the way there. eventually he got there after the car crash was all sorted out, but got into ANOTHER on the way back. i’m honestly kind of impressed

45: steve

steve could cook an absolutely fucking KILLER meal. he’ll even offer to do it for free. but you shouldn’t let him under any circumstances. he took 13 hours gathering materials and while the wait was, arguably, worth it, i never want to experience it again. (side note: we asked captain falcon to get some pizza while waiting which led to the aforementioned entry)

44: sora

sora doesn’t know how to cook but he’s by far the biggest name at this party. everyone fucking loves him. he’s friends with GOOFY. this dude hangs out with GOOFY. this guys has hung out with GOOFY AND jack sparrow. bad food but i could listen to this guy talk for hours about his story. i’m sure i’ll understand it all.

43-40: pokémon trainer

this guys organization is fucking atrocious. if he can actually get his shit together he’ll cook up some nice vegetarian meals, but that’s a big if.

HONORABLE MENTION: sans mii gunner

sans undertale is a world renowned, famous chef. his recipes are simple, but cooked with such love, care, and finess it turns a simple cheeseburger into a masterpiece. sans undertale would easily top this list. sans mii gunner is not sans undertale. he bought the real sans’ cookbook and thinks he’s some kind of cooking genius. and sure he’s got the recipes but none of the skill to actually make it.

39-38: samus/zero suit samus

hooray! we’re out of bad cook options now. samus is a great cook, but she’s so used to her alien delicacies she doesn’t know how to cook on earth anymore. shame, but i trust her to produce something edible.

37: shulk

he is really good at the grill. unfortunately, he refused to put a shirt on and made everyone a little uncomfy. that being said, he showed me the beach boys and i had never listened to them before. so he gets points.

36-35: pit/dark pit

these guys don’t know how to cook but the flew into the sky and killed some mythical bird for everyone to eat. i couldn’t have any, i’m pescatarian, but everyone else loved it.

34: bayonnetta

she opened a portal to a waffle house and a bunch of demons came flying out. she didn’t make anything, but honestly, absolutely legendary experience that was.

33: duck hunt

you’d think a dog wouldn’t bring anything meaningful. this would be false. that is the freshest duck i’ve ever seen in my entire life. (didn’t eat it: pescatarian)

32: king dedede

he made his legendary homemade mashed potatoes. everyone loved them. so creamy… weirdly perfect. too bad i hate the monarchy. sorry bud.

31: meta knight

meta knight is a great cook and should be higher. but i don’t want him to be. because he’s so fucking pretentious. he sliced all the food in front of everyone and wouldn’t shut up about radiohead. hate this guy.

30-29: daisy/peach

these two put all their private chefs together to make something for everyone. great catering, great food, but they didn’t technically make it. love them.

28: mewtwo

as if mewtwo wouldn’t just read someone’s mind and cook something. but it’s not mewtwo’s food…so…. sorry dude you cheated.

27: dark samus

she really surprised me here. she cooked up the most exquisite alien delicacies i’ve ever tasted in my entire life. should be higher. but unfortunately, i had to get a space parasite removed from my system by regular samus. honestly though… it was worth it.

26: ganon

he was rude to everyone about his cooking skills and wouldn’t stop bragging. asshole am i right? but surprised everyone by grilling his god damn heart out. he’s a bad try hard but like go off i guess.

25: isabelle

she’s trying her absolute fucking best and she deserves the world here. amazing cook, we need to save her from the island.

24: little mac

dude went so hard. brought new york pizza ALL THE WAY FROM NEW YORK. ok, not literally, but he made a damn good pizza

23: snake

full disclosure: snake doesn’t know how to cook. also no one knows he’s an agent. but he has to cook to blend in so you BEST BELIEVE this man is going to COOK like his life depends on it.

22-20: young link, ness, and lucas

all these guys are incredibly mature for their age. surprised everyone at this party. i had deep and philosophical conversations with all of them about appreciating life. i fucking cried. oh and they made everyone sandwiches, and even took my pescatarianism into account.

19: rosalina

she brought weird space ice cream and i felt my mind expanding as i ate it. love her.

18: mr game and watch

he feels like everyone’s dad! and he’s one of those cooks who cooks in front of everyone. dude flung his meals onto everyone’s plates expertly. love him.

17: joker

originally much lower on this list, joker showed up at my house and attempted to make a grilled cheese and made the worst thing i’ve ever taste. then he said something about gru from despicable me and stood in the corner for an hour. originally i had him towards the bottom but then he doordashed five gigantic burgers, ate all of them in one sitting, and then made me an expensive curry that tasted fantastic. dude went hard.

it was at this point i realized i made a mistake with the numbers. like hell if i’m going to fix the whole thing.

22: zelda

she made some weird food but damn was it pretty to look at! crystals, magic power, i mean good vibes all around here.

21-20: pyra and mythra

i feel like i should put them here since they’re confirmed to be good cooks in the game. but between you and me, i didn’t invite them. i’d consider some entries before this to be better cooks but at this point i’ve been working on this list for 8 hours i do not wanna go back and fix things please i mean this whole list is a joke no one should take this seriously

19: banjo and kazooie

these guys can fucking cook. they’ve been living on their own for a while so it makes sense but it still surprises me. they made a really big stew and even brought free puzzle games.

18: wolf

GRILL MASTER. dude knows what he’s doing on that thing. i’ve never seen better spatula work. holy shit.

17: kirby

kirby came in with some weird blonde hair and made some FANTASTIC ribs (that i didn’t have bc i’m pescatarian). weirdly, gordon ramsey went missing the same day…. i’m sure it means nothing.

16: mario

dude made some absolutely spectacular spaghetti. but he kept talking about how great he is and it really off put some people. kinda weird dude.

15: dr mario. dude brought 50 apples to the potluck. guess he doesn’t wanna see anyone in the office. and he didn’t because we ate them all. take that.

14: min min

she brought some soup dumplings which a lot of people hadn’t had! love her. literally fantastic. she had a whole arm for cooking. that’s what we call efficient.

13: ken

he’s kenough. he is amazing at barbecue. he can cook things with his hands, juggle, also he’s just a fun presence. (i made him make fake meat burgers for me)

12: jigglypuff

she showed up with so many pastries. like so many. not only that, but they were decorative!! she put so much work into that. love her.

11: luigi

he tried to make spaghetti like his brother but a literal fucking meteor slammed into his pot and cracked it. tough luck. then he offered to pay and i refused, but went out and got me some really expensive spaghetti anyways! he’s such a nice guy!! shouldn’t be this high… but i love this guy so much. he’s trying his hardest and i respect that.

10: toon link

toon link didn’t actually make anything. but his mom came and made everyone a salad. and honestly! his mom is some great company. she had so many interesting stories about his childhood. honestly she added so much to the function

9: terry

he is the BARBECUE MASTER!!!! literally what the hell how is he so good! everyone at the party kinda stereotyped him but he’s really really progressive with his views which you wouldn’t think for a big barbecue muscle guy in a baseball cap but everyone loved this guy.

8: mega man

the MASTER CHEF!! literally. he was on master chef. he uses thin round blades to slice vegetables, heats things perfectly, has an instance knowledge of spices, just damn. this guy knows what he’s doing.

7-6: bowser and donkey kong

common misconception: everyone thinks these two would have no idea how to cook. but these are FAMILY GUYS HERE!! they’re providing for absolutely gigantic families, these fuckers know how to make a sandwich and they did. initially they started off making separate sandwiches but they have a really similar recipe and decided to work together. and i really respect that. also turns out peach is just bowser’s kids’ babysitter.

5: palutena.

everyone expected her to show up with some absolutely mystical food. naturally, she showed up with the literal ambrosia of the gods. holy shit. unfortunately, she didn’t put as much effort into it as she could’ve.

4: sephiroth.

ok this guy didn’t really cook anything amazing. but his sheer fucking commitment to the vibe is literally legendary. this man has a long as sword he cut 10 veggies at a time with. he heat them with magic world ending fire. when he was done in the kitchen he surrounded himself with fire and gazed menacingly at me. his sheer commitment to the edge lord aesthetic is truly exemplary.

3: incineroar.

THE GRILLING GOAT!! this man is a grill master. he was prepared to grill ANYTHING. and i mean anything. fish, veggies, meat, fucking grilled cheese. love this guy.

2: wii fit trainer

she made the most well balanced and healthy salad i’ve ever had. and she made it taste extraordinary. she can be a little intense about fitness but i’ve never had a healthier meal in my life. it immediately lowered my extremely high cholesterol.

1. diddy kong

he’s about ten. he made you a pb&j. he had homework to do, but he made you a pb&j. he didn’t have to. he wasn’t asked to. he just wanted to make you a pb&j. he could’ve done anything else but he made you a pb&j. what heartless monster wouldn’t accept it.

#i listened to country music making this #video games #super smash bros #luigi #super mario #princess peach #donkey kong #legend of zelda #metroid #kirby #star fox #pokémon #earthbound #mother 3 #f zero #fire emblem #kid icarus #wario #metal gear #sonic #pikmin #animal crossing #isabelle #mega man #punch out #pac man #xenoblade #street fighter #ff7 #persona 5

[taylorman2274]

We Care About You (Part II)

The aftermath that follows is a struggle for everyone to comprehend.

Content Warning(s): N/A

Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader

Word Count: 1k

Previous || Next

Taglist: @silverstarred

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The past few days have been hard for your mind to wrap around.

Ever since that particular incident you had while playing Genshin, you've been extremely hesitant to log back on. Now that you knew all the people of Teyvat were self-aware, you were scared to imagine what they thought of you.

"Have they been self-aware the entire time that I've been playing? Have they always been able to hear my voice whenever I spoke aloud? Do the Traveler and their friends hate me for forcibly controlling their movements and actions like puppets? If that's the case, wouldn't it be better for me to leave them alone without letting them know?"

It doesn't seem like there's any part of your day where you're not thinking about how to follow up with the world of Genshin Impact. In fact, it's gotten so bad for you that some of your friends have noticed your change in mood and asked if anything was wrong.

Knowing that this situation is not only unheard of but also impossible to comprehend for anyone, you simply told them that you were dealing with personal issues, which honestly isn't that far from the truth.

Eventually, you began to worry if some of the people in Teyvat would figure out a way to reach you beyond the computer should you not reach back to them soon. In the past, you would've laughed at such a thought. But now that you've witnessed the impossible, you didn't want to wait around and find out.

"If I'm going to continue playing Genshin, I should at least try and accommodate their needs and wants better."

As much as you didn't want to delay your return to Genshin any further, you felt that researching all of your current playable character's needs, wants, likes, and dislikes took top priority over anything else in your life right now.

...Well...besides your needs and wants.

First, you took note of their favorite and least favorite foods. You would feel pretty bad if you kept feeding them food that wasn't their preference. Especially since characters like Lisa and Ganyu were vegetarians.

Second, you took note of everyone's talents. While you know that some characters had passive talents which gave you extra dishes when cooking or extra materials when crafting, you felt that those jobs should be left to the professionals, such as Xiangling and Albedo respectively.

"Let's see. First off, I should probably remove the people in my party with full-time jobs, as they take priority over exploring with the Traveler. So I should probably replace any Knights of Favonius, Liyue Qixing, Tri-Commission Member, etc. However, that doesn't exactly leave me with a lot of options to choose from. Although Xiangling works for Wanmin Restaurant, she's currently exploring Teyvat for ingredients. I assume accompanying the traveler would be fine with her. Bennett works for the Adventure's Guild so that works as well. But that also leaves me with a Pyro-heavy party, which may pose a problem for enemies such as Pyro slimes..."

However, the more you spent time researching, the more pessimistic and depressed you began to feel. Here you were spending all this effort trying to accommodate to all the characters you've obtained without even knowing if they gave a single thought or care in the world towards you.

"...I never really asked if they wanted to join the Traveler's adventures. ...So...maybe I should just only use the Traveler...?"

You sighed deeply. This was not gonna be good for your mental health.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Traveler didn't know what to think.

On one hand, they were happy that [Y/N] was getting some much deserved rest. On top of that, they were also happy that they got to have a break from doing commissions all the time. But on the otherhand...

They were really starting to miss you.

This is the longest that they have gone without feeling your presence and they were starting to worry if they had accidentally scared you off due to that incident.

The incident that revealed Teyvat's self-awareness.

"...You're thinking about [Y/N] again, aren't you?" Paimon asked.

The Traveler chuckled sadly. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Kind of? Paimon thinks that's what everyone is thinking about."

They believe her. Zhongli, Venti, and a few others had reached out to them over the past couple of days for any news about [Y/N]. They were saddened by their expressions when they told them they had no news to give.

..."Y/N..." The Traveler sighed.

"Hmm?" Paimon hummed in thought, "What was that?"

"...To think that was their name all along. And to even think that they may be just as human as most people in Teyvat! It’s honestly kind of relieving when you think about it.

Although they weren't going to lie. At first, they saw [Y/N] as an unknown entity that possessed them to do its bidding. It was scary at first, knowing that neither them nor Paimon were able to figure out a way to interact with or avoid it. However, after solving both Mondstadt's and Liyue's respectable crises and powering them up with newfound strength, they started to see you as a sort of companion similar to Paimon.

"Yeah, even Paimon is starting to miss traveling and exploring with them."

"Is that so?" The Traveler taunted, "I thought that at one point you were trying to prove yourself as the better guide?"

"Hey! Paimon told you already that she has proved herself as the superior guide time and time again." She exclaimed as she crossed her arms.

They laughed. It felt nice to tease Paimon like this to distract them from the lack of [Y/N]'s presence, but they were starting to feel like they couldn't keep this up forever.

"Regardless, Paimon hopes that [Y/N] comes back soon. Everybody will feel a lot better once they do."

The Traveler looked up to the night sky and watched the stars flicker with light. Paimon followed their gaze and gave a sorrowful frown.

"I hope so too."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author Side Notes: I had an idea.

But in all seriousness, I'm flattered by all the positive comments, reblogs, and likes from the previous post. I only expected to get around 20 notes since it was my first post but somehow I've ended up at 800+ and counting? It's almost too much for me to handle lol.

As for the rest of this story, I've decided that it will likely take around six parts for me to reach its conclusion. We've got two down so far, so that makes four more to go. Of course, that's only if y'all want to read more.

#genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin self aware #sagau x reader #sagau #sagau genshin #platonic genshin x reader #platonic #gn reader #gender neutral reader

[an-idyllic-novelist]

rimuru tempest with fem!tanjiro!reader headcanons

Hey guys, welcome to another collaboration with @deathmetalunicorn1, though the credit on the concept of the pairing and these headcanons go to my dear friend. I really hope you will enjoy what we have written. If you'd like to see more content like this, or an extended version of these headcanons, please let us know!

So with that being said, sit back, relax, and enjoy! :)

Although Rimuru Tempest  knows his significant other and her little sister are strong, he will not stop worrying about Tanjiro!reader’s wellbeing, especially when she and Nezuko  leave Tempest on a mission, and he is unable to join them for whatever reason. His anxiety will increase tenfold when his relationship with the former Demon Slayer evolved from being friends who just happened to stumble upon each other’s paths as soon as he left Veldor’s cave to being lovers. 

It will be very hard for the demon lord to sleep for the first few nights when he is so used to curling up next to Tanjiro!reader and Nezuko, the latter sprawled out and almost always in her toddler form. However, when she does return, Tanjiro!reader will always bring back a souvenir from wherever she traveled to, normally a tasty treat or a cute little knick-knack she saw at a market. 

[To ease his lord’s worries, Diablo will mobilize a few of the Black Numbers to keep a discreet eye on the Kamado siblings, personally delivering periodical reports on their whereabouts to Rimuru when it was an appropriate time between meetings and inspections around the capital. After all, an excellent butler must be able to anticipate his lord’s every need and alleviate his concerns so that he may continue to focus on his duties in the land. If something does happen, Diablo will act immediately and make sure Tanjiro!reader and Nezuko return to Tempest safely.]

Tanjiro!reader unwinds from her journey with a big hug from Rimuru in both his slime and human form. Rimuru would receive affection from Nezuko if she isn’t sleeping in her box in the form of bone crushing hugs or his hair being ruffled by a clawed hand. If Rimuru hadn’t eaten, she would whip a simple home-cooked meal that is either a traditional recipe from the Kamado household, or one that Mitsuri, the Love Hashira, had taught her when they were alive back in her old world. 

Rimuru will definitely join in and help, even all she’ll allow him to do in the kitchen is wash the dishes. 

After he had been reincarnated in this world, he took the Japanese cuisine he had eaten for granted, even the microwaveable ramen noodle cups he’d heat up in the company break room when he had to work late at the office. Back then, Misaki Satoru didn’t care much about his health so much as worried about forever remaining a virgin because he couldn’t score a date with a cute girl. 

He honestly couldn’t have anything resembling his homeland’s cooking until his country was developed further, including the dwarves’ metal-working and the orcs’ infamous work ethic. He couldn’t remember how many times he had told Geld and the others to rest even when they insisted that they kept working. Now, he could share a meal and enjoy a hot bath with someone he loves very dearly.

Nezuko is, of course, welcomed to join them in the bath since she loves swimming around the large hot spring he had built in the back of his home. When she joined them, Rimuru reverted to being a slime to protect Nezuko’s innocence.  If he’s alone with Tanjiro!reader, he’ll either be a slime or his human form, depending on his mood. 

Speaking of which, Nezuko is the little sister everyone in Tempest adores and will be fiercely protected. Rimuru is her favorite person, but when Milim decides to stop by for a visit, she is Nezuko’s new favorite, no matter how much he bribes her with newest confections that were created or toys. But between these two….Nezuko will always pick Tanjiro!reader, if she’s an option. 

Rimuru’s love language includes quality time, words of affirmation, and gift-giving. But what he enjoys the most is having afternoon tea on the porch, him sitting in her lap as a slime and munching on sticks of mitarashi dango or different flavored onigiri.  

If anything happened to either Tanjiro!reader or Nezuko because an enemy nation was jealous of Tempest’s flourishing economy and thought it would be a brilliant idea to hold them hostage or try to hurt them….they had better be prepared to have another kingdom falling into ruins. 

Remember what happened to Falmuth?

Taglist

@sunnyblackbird

@abelheilonwife

@nunezs-stuff

#an idyllic novelist #x reader headcanons #fem!reader #tanjiro!reader #kny x reader #that time i got reincarnated as a slime #rimuru tempest x reader #tensei shitara slime datta ken #that time i got reincarnated as a slime x reader #rimuru x reader #rimuru tempest #tensei shitara slime datta ken x reader

[katebishopsbow]

SOMETHING UNHOLY • NEYMAR JR (part i)

pairing: neymar jr x reader (18+)

summary: while babysitting davi, you went up to neymar’s room to get something for the two of you to play with. it turns out that the room wasn’t empty, and you ended up catching neymar doing something unholy.

tags: explicit sexual content (minors dni), voyeurism, jerking off, choking, praise kink, sir kink, age gap, dirty talking, finger sucking, dom!neymar, babysitter!reader, no mentions of y/n

word count: 2.8k

(gif is not mine)

─────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───────

An excited squeal was heard before the front door flew open, revealing an ecstatic Davi sprinting toward you to greet you with a crushing hug. “You’re finally here!” he giggled with his face burrowed in your shirt, and you patted the back of his head comfortingly as you told him with a smile, “It’s great to see you too, buddy!”

Upon entering the house, Davi began bombarding you with everything that had happened in his life for the past few weeks, from the science fair he won with his exploding slime experiment, the pretty girl who confessed to him at school, the new video game he received from his mom, to the luxurious fishing trip his dad had taken him over the weekend. 

Being the babysitter of Neymar’s kid had its benefits - one of which was the high-paying salary. It paid relatively well compared to the other babysitting jobs you were offered, in fact, it paid so well that this single part-time job was enough to support all your daily expenses and cover part of your tuition fee. And while you initially accepted the job because of the money, you eventually decided to stay because of Davi.

And also because of Neymar - but that’s beside the point.

“Then Dad belly-flopped into the lake! It was awesome!” Davi’s smile is infectious, his genuine excitement about all the little things in life would always fill you with a sense of serene happiness, and sometimes it felt like he was more of a friend than a kid you babysat for. “Well, your dad’s always been awesome,” you chuckled quietly while switching on the TV, surfing through the channels until Davi’s favorite program was on.

Though the boy was quick to interject. “I don’t want to watch TV today… Let's play football together!” he suggested, his voice laced with so much glee and excitement that you didn’t have the heart to say no to him, even though you had absolutely zero agility and were terrible at football. “Alright, I’ll get the football for us…” you pretended to sound unimpressed, but soon broke out into a wide smile when Davi jumped up from his seat with a victorious chant.

“There’s a football in my dad’s bedroom, he said I could play with it if I want.” You contemplated for a while, unsure if it was a good idea to enter Neymar’s bedroom. While he should have been at practice at this hour, meaning that his room was probably empty, the thought of entering his room just seemed like a violation of his privacy.

But before you could ask Davi if he could get the football himself, he had already sprinted off toward the backyard, leaving you all alone in the living room as he yelled out eagerly, “I’ll wait for you outside!” Not wanting to rain on the kid’s parade, you let out a defeated sigh and got up from the couch.

 “I’ll just go in and out. I’ll not touch anything or look at anything inside,” you mumbled under your breath as you made your way up the stairs, trying to convince yourself that this was no big deal. You were only going into Neymar’s room to get the football for Davi - a fully justified reason. And just like Steve Harrington once said, “I’m stealthy, like a ninja.” You’ll go inside, grab the football, and leave - nobody would even notice you were there.

It was all going to be fine.

Walking down the hallway until you reached the room at the very end, you twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open.

It was not going to be fine.

Nothing could have prepared you for what you saw in that room. Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach when your eyes landed on Neymar, sitting shirtless on his bed with his trousers unzipped, hands wrapped around his length as he pumped himself at a steady pace. The way his face contorted in pleasure, eyebrows furrowed together like he was nearing his release, and then the next second his eyes flew open and he was looking at you in utter shock.

Everything was happening so fast that your brain literally short-circuited, like your entire body had shut down and rebooted itself. Every muscle within you screamed at you to flee the room, to get the heck out after walking in on such an intimate moment of his - but almost as if your legs had stopped working, you couldn’t bring yourself to move an inch.

All you could do was stare at him, eyes wide and mouth hung open like a deer caught in headlights. Neymar’s hand came to a halt, his facial expression just as dumbstruck as yours, and you had to force yourself not to glance down at the fingers still wrapping around his hardened length.

You blinked once, twice, and finally were able to collect yourself the best that you could manage. “Sir, I’m so sorry for coming inside your room unannounced. I was just here to get something, and I— I didn’t know that you were going to be in here— normally you’d be at practice so…” you began to ramble, strings of words spilling out of your mouth as you frantically tried to apologize.

“I’m just really really sorry, sir,” you apologized one last time, shoulders slumped and head hanging low from the unbelievable amount of embarrassment you were feeling, and also because you wanted to avoid looking at him and his exposed body. Squeezing your eyes shut, you waited for Neymar to say something, anything. 

You expected him to scream at you to get out, to lash out at you for entering his room without knocking, to kick you out of the house for violating his privacy like this. But when he stayed silent, not uttering a single word or exploding in anger like you expected him to, confusion began to gnaw at your mind and the silence became unsettling.

Your name suddenly fell from his lips in a hushed whisper, his voice raspy and laced with a strange, unexplainable tone. The call of your name made you glance up, and what was once a look of surprise and puzzlement on his face was now replaced with one of desire - his lips pulled up in a slanted grin, half-lidded eyes gazing into you like he had something sinister in mind, and you could feel your insides stirring when his hands began stroking up and down again.

“Lock the door and come over here,” Neymar whispered in a hushed voice, and while his words were soft and gentle, underneath them all was hiding a sense of authority, so firm and unmoving that you couldn’t help but comply. His piercing gaze never once left you as you turned to shut the door, clicked the lock shut, and slowly walked over to his bed. “Sit.” One word was enough to make you listen, taking a seat on the corner of his bed as if your body was on autopilot.

The rational side of you would’ve made you leave the room ages ago, but somehow you couldn’t bring yourself to leave, not when he’s looking at you with unbridled hunger. All you could do was follow his orders and do exactly what he said, like a girl possessed, hypnotized by all that he had, blinded by the need to find out what would happen if you stayed.

Feeling the tension in the air, you swallowed nervously as you desperately tried to figure out what exactly was happening, eyes flickering between his face and the slow pumping of his hand. “Fuck…” he hissed out through gritted teeth, his piercing green eyes now distant and cloudy with lust. “Now watch.”

Every passing second made it harder for you to breathe, to sit still when Neymar’s pleasuring himself right in front of you, and it was damn near impossible to comprehend the fact that he had asked you to stay and watch. Tightening his fingers around his length, he squeezed his throbbing cock as he thumbed his slit in teasing strokes, gathering the precum that had spilled out.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought of bending you over and fucking you inside this house,” he exhaled a shaky breath, smirking at the way your breath hitched as the sinful confession fell from his lips. “I’m a sick piece of shit, right? For thinking of my son’s babysitter this way,” he chuckled, but the way his voice sounded didn’t seem like he was at all guilty. 

Words didn’t need to be said for the two of you to know that this was wrong. From the fact that he was jerking off in front of you, the unholy thoughts that he always had whenever you come over, to how you were enjoying all of this no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise. 

Neymar was years older than you. He was in his thirties and you were still in college. He was a world-class football player and you were an ordinary college student still trying to navigate life. Most importantly, he was a father, and you were his son’s babysitter. Your relationship never should have exceeded that, but it did, with him splayed out in his bed, admitting all the filthy thoughts he had of you while you watched him. 

This was wrong - all of this - but neither of you wanted this to stop.

“But you like this shit, don’t you?” he asked you with a knowing glint in his eyes, and the smirk on his lips only seemed to grow wider. You couldn’t find the words to answer him, any sort of coherent thoughts had longed become muddled up inside your head. Though you didn’t have to, because he already knew your answer from the way your breathing picked up and your thighs clenched together. 

“I bet…” he choked out as his head tipped backward, letting out a deep groan while speeding up his hand. “I bet you’d let me fuck you if I asked.” A little gasp escaped your lips, bright eyes flickering with a lustful gleam he had only imagined in the darkest hours of the night. You stayed quiet, nibbling on your lips to prevent the whine lodged in your throat from coming, and that’s all it took for Neymar to know that your answer was a definite yes.

“You’ll let me come inside like a good fucking girl too, won’t you?” The thought alone was enough to make you whimper, clenching your thighs together needily as arousal pooled at the pit of your stomach. Your eyes fluttered closed, allowing the sinful images to plague your mind - god, how you wished those thoughts were reality instead.

You wondered how his lips would taste like, what his reaction would be if he could feel how soaked you were right now, if he would feel as good as you imagined it to be when he finally slid himself inside you, and how he would look when he finally reached his release, emptying himself deep inside you until you milked him of his very last drop. There was nothing you wouldn’t give for all of this to come true, for him to just touch you where you needed.

Fingers suddenly clasped around your throat, pulling you out of your erotic trance and dragging you back to reality - even though the reality you were in seemed more like a fever dream. “Use your words. Yes or no?” he demanded, and he couldn’t help but admire how good you looked with his hands around you - so good for him, so sweet and breedable.

“Yes, sir,” you answer with a soft whimper, head nodding urgently at his previous question while you relish the firm grip on your neck. “Good girl,” he praised you with a smile before releasing his hold on you. There was a warmth that lingered on your skin even after he had let go, and a part of you wished he had kept his hands there longer, that he had squeezed tighter.

“I bet you’d feel so good wrapped around me… and you’ll let me do whatever I want to you…” He continued to pump himself, cock twitching at the sight of you before him - rosy cheeks and glassy eyes, so worked up and so desperate for him to just touch you. “Please…” you huffed out a pathetic plea, hands gripping tightly on the sheets below you, praying that he would do something to ease the aching need between your thighs.

He smiled - not a friendly one, but the same damned teasing grin he always had on - and had the audacity to coo at you as if he thought you were the cutest thing on earth. “Be patient, baby…” You tried to be patient, you really did, but your patience was running low and you were genuinely going to cry if he didn’t touch you soon. 

A few more rough tugs on his cock and he knew he was nearing his orgasm. “Fuck… gonna come…” he grunted out, rocking his hips up unrhythmically to meet his fist as the bed started to shake. All that could be heard inside his bedroom was the wet squelching of him jerking his cock, the quick and shallow breaths of you both, and the broken moans that rumbled in his throat with each frenzied stroke.

“Sir, please.” That simple sentence was enough to shatter him into a million pieces. A pleasured groan pushed past his teeth as his hips thrust up one last time, body seizing up as jolts of electricity coursed through him in waves of pure ecstasy. You weren’t even touching him, but all he could feel was you - everything else faded into darkness.

White ropes of come spilled from his cock, getting all over his skin and dirtying the white sheets below him. His mouth fell agape, throwing his head back as your name fell from his lips like a mantra, calling you again and again until he completely emptied himself into his fist.

You watched as he fell apart in front of you, refusing to take your eyes off him even for just a second while he drowned in the endless sea of pleasure. “Fuck… that felt so good,” he spoke in a soft murmur, stroking his cock lazily as he collected some of the come splattered on him with his fingers.

Leaning closer to you, he lifted his hand to your lips and pushed his fingers inside your mouth, groaning with satisfaction at the sinful sight - your lips wrapped around him, so good for him, so eager to please. “There you go, my good little girl…” You moaned at the praising nickname he had for you, twirling your tongue around him and enjoying the taste of him.

A strange silence fell upon both of you after he pulled out his fingers, neither of you was saying anything and all you could hear was your own heartbeat drumming in your ears and the ragged breath of Neymar. You could feel his stare on you, dragging his gaze down to your lips, and you wondered if he was going to kiss you.

He leaned in, so close to you that you could almost feel his hot breath fanning against your lips. You squeezed your eyes shut instinctively, but instead, he tilted his head and placed a chaste kiss on your left cheek. 

“I’m off to practice now,” he whispered into your ear, voice low and raspy, and proceeded to get up from his bed. You looked at him with utter confusion, the gears in your head still turning as you struggled to process what exactly had just happened. Was he seriously going to leave? Right now? What about you? 

The ache between your legs only seemed to grow, and the frustration building in your chest was beginning to grow as well, really quickly. “But… Sir…” you tried to think of something, but had no idea what you were even supposed to say in a situation like this.

The smirk evident on his face meant that he knew exactly what he was doing, and was well aware of how mean he was being to you, but he was doing it nonetheless. “Keep being a good girl for me, and maybe next time I’ll give you a little reward.” Sending you a wink, he pulled on his jersey and exited the room.

This motherfucker.

#neymar #neymar x reader #neymar smut #neymar jr #neymar jr x reader #neymar imagines #neymar fics #football players #fanfiction

[m1d-45]

my love, my god

summary: the ‘tomorrow’ you’ve been putting off finally comes, but not how you expect it to

word count: 2.6k

-> warnings: spoilers for baizhu lore/story quest, you have several nosebleeds

-> gn reader (you/yours) and aether as the traveller

taglist (+those that asked for a pt 2): @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr || @fleurdawn || @extremelytoastybread || @ambermondy || @loyal-to-dottore

<< first part || < masterlist >

living with aether was supposed to be easy.

you’d established a routine, your days simple. you spent your time in his library for plausible deniability, surprised at how expansive his library was. a lot of the books seemed like gifts, with little notes scrawled in the front covers. you honestly spent more of your time reading the notes than the book themselves, tracing over the handwriting.

barbara had given him a copy of a medical handbook, with notes in the margins from both of them for replacement herbs since the book was intended for use within mondstat. you didn’t try to memorize it, just skimming for a few details. some you knew, like wolfhooks or onikabuto helping to close wounds, but some was new. apparently, a diluted solution of cor lapis shavings in water could help heal broken bones, though it was noted that this shouldn’t be used in excess if the receiver didn’t have high enough elemental affinity.

a book of liyue’s local specialties, given from someone with exceptionally sloppy handwriting. there was a whole row dedicated solely to various recipe books, the one from liyue with a few extra pages tucked in.

aether liked to write in his books, you noticed, even the fiction ones. you had yet to encounter a single book that didn’t have at least one note in the margins, each in his sharp, quick writing.

‘cut lavender melon thinner than you think.’

‘who actually talks like this?’

‘when cooking for paimon, add slime concentrate to the broth.’

it was endearing. you saw so little of him in the game, most of the dialogue given by paimon. while you’d certainly gotten to know him in your time here… it was different, seeing his notes like this. it cemented the idea that you were really in your game, since what dream of yours would include the fact that ningguang had given him a journal of advice on how to deal with various poisons someone might try to use on him?

despite his expansive collection of books, he had very few historical records. the ones he did were well worn, filled with pages of notes as he tried to decipher the history of teyvat. it was sad to see, his writing becoming more desperate the further through the books you got.

‘ask zhongli for clarification.’

‘kokomi doesn’t recognize the name ‘istaroth.’ ask miko?’

‘dahri = khaenri’ah?’

‘ask zh ask dainslef. where would i even find him?’

‘even if i knew everything, would it make sense?‘

tears pricked at your eyes, and you closed the book in your hands before you smudged the writing. you wiped at your eyes, sniffling as you put it back on the shelf. it was hard not to feel bad, but even if you told him everything you knew about teyvat, would he believe you? would he still be as kind to you as he was? he was your one real anchor here, what with the world in chaos after you stopped playing… you couldn’t even point him in the right direction, since even that would raise suspicion.

maybe that was enough reading for today.

you wiped at your nose, walking for the exit to the library. when you reached for the handle, however, you spotted a smear of glittering blue across the side of your hand.

it took another drop of blood hitting the wooden floor before you realized what was happening, quickly plugging your nose and rushing to the bathroom. you took care to wipe up the drop that landed on the floor, both so it wouldn’t stain and so that nobody saw it.

you weren’t trying to die today. and even if, somehow, aether was fine with your constant lying to him, you didn’t want to ruin what you had.

not today, thank you.

despite it being where you’d first ‘landed,’ you had never been to mondstat. ever since your run in with zhongli, it was the nation you were avoiding going with him most, second only to maybe sumeru. venti, kaeya, and diluc, three of the most perceptive people in game, all in one place… it was a recipe for disaster.

unfortunately, aether was an excellent cook.

he’d decided to take his commissions from mondstat today, and only one required combat. plus, he wanted you to see the city.. and you couldn’t exactly say no to him without reason.

the first was helping wyatt find his key in dadaupa gorge. you’re not sure why he was drinking out there, but you’re not gonna ask too many questions. the gorge was beautiful in person, cranes nearly everywhere you turned… though that might just be because you were there. the wildlife had been getting more daring lately.

the second was delivering connor some mist flower corollas, carefully moved from aether’s inventory to a thick, special made bag. you got a strange look or two from the maids, but within a few minutes aether was teleporting you to the city, tunner‘s prescription in hand. mondstat was much more lively than in the game, though you supposed that was for convenience. having hundreds of npcs roaming the city, each holding their own conversations, would likely hit performance.

paimon told you all about the city, though all of it was things you already know. there’s the adventurer’s guild, there’s bennett—you both waved—and there’s ellin! that’s the statue of barbatos, boasting a height of…

paimon scratched at her head, looking up at the statue. “how tall is the statue?”

aether shrugged, holding one hand to block the sun as he tried to guess. “nobody ever said. do you think one of the sisters would know?”

“hm, paimon thinks our best bet is venti! he sits up there all the time, doesnt he?”

you looked over the statue, taking in all the details not present on it’s in-game model. even from ground level you swear you could see individual feathers carved into the rock. “you said he flies, right? i think we should ask the knights, they-” copper landed on your tongue, and you put a finger to your top lip. it came away blue.

shit.

you covered your nose quickly, the other two thankfully getting the message without you needing to talk. a napkin was pressed to your hand, and you were careful not to let any of the blue show as you switched your hand over it.

two nosebleeds with barely two weeks between them. were you sick? were the foreign bacteria finally showing face? you didn’t feel sick—if anything you’d been feeling much better physically, since coming to teyvat—but what if you were? what if it was some illness that only targeted outlanders- no, aether would have told you about that, he was too kind not to. but then why…?

you were sat in one of the pews of the cathedral, paimon sitting by your side. your eyes tracked aether to one of the nuns, but were quickly distracted by the beautiful stained glass set in the windows. shades of blue and green decorated the walls, coloring the inside of the cathedral. you couldn’t quite make out the scenes depicted, but it gave the room so much more *life* than its model. it was lived in, not just another location on a map.

“my my, traveller, you look different than i remember.”

you’re given little warning before kaeya speaks, his steps having not made a single sound. both you and paimon turned, her hands lifting in a wave while yours tightened around your stained napkins.

“hey kaeya! what are you doing at the cathedral? paimon doesn’t remember there being a service today…”

“just going for a walk.” his eyes shift to you, and you look away, in the direction aether left. the nun was back, but he was nowhere to be found. he wouldn’t leave to the winery already, would he? “who’s this?”

“a friend.”

a hand sets on your shoulder, and you jump. was it some unspoken rule not to let your steps be heard in a cathedral, or did it come with the territory?

aether passes you a small vial of a clear blue liquid, moving to stand between you and kaeya. “i talked to barbara about your nosebleed, this should stop it. a small sip will do.”

you don’t ask why he did that, instead just doing as he said. kaeya gave you an odd look but you were quick to follow paimon out of the cathedral, leaving them to it. soon enough aether joined you, and you all went back to the teapot for lunch.

it was a fluke. it had to be.

it wasn’t.

you were sitting at a table at wanmin, listening to xingqiu talk about his latest idea for a novel. paimon had helped you order, picking you out a minty drink that was as refreshing as it was delicious. you took a sip, sharing a look with aether over the rim right as a drop slid down your top lip. thankfully, the blue streak was explained by the tint of the drink, though chongyun did give you a few more odd glances than you preferred.

running into the arataki gang in inazuma city, itto excitedly showing you and aether the new beetles he found earlier. he stuck by your side, holding your hand in his as they switched to talking about tcg. they patted their pockets, searching for the cards they’d won today. a cough into your elbow was all it took for blue to mark the inside of your sleeve, and shinobu was quick to pass you a napkin coated with onikabuto dust. it felt funny against your fingers, but apparently the gang used them to patch wounds all the time when a friendly wrestle went too far.

the more people were around, the worse they were. your nose was near constantly itchy, like the world was channeling every irritant in a mile radius right into your face. any minor bump would cause at least a drop to spill down your lip, leaving you overcautious and aether forever worried. the bottle barbara gave you ran out quick, and though she ended up giving you the recipe, it was clear that something more serious was going on.

you laid on the couch, pinching a napkin around your nose while you waited for aether to finish your medicine. he’d gone outside to get the rest of the ingredients with paimon, leaving you to your thoughts.

you hated teyvat for doing this to you. you’d bet good mora that simply showing him the color of the stains on your napkins would solve whatever phantom illness ailed you, but you didn’t want to. you were happy with the life you had! you didn’t need a shining palace or the worship of the world, you just needed aether. him and paimon and your teapot, with the small herbs growing in the windowsill and crystalflies fluttering outside. why was the world so determined to get you to spill your secret? it wasn’t like he’d hate you for keeping it—at most he’d be surprised, or maybe even a bit apologetic himself.

it was stupid. shouldn’t you be the one to decide whether this was shared or not?

you sighed, the sound of the door pushing that train of thought aside. aether tapped your shoulder and you sat up, accepting the medicine thankfully.

“sorry about the delay, baizhu was dealing with another patient.”

“you went to the pharmacy?” you hand him back the bottle, looking away as you wipe off your nose.

“yep! when we got there he was mixing up a nasty smelling poultice for some other lady—paimon swears she can still smell it, even after all this time!”

“really?” you look up, satisfied you got it all off, but freeze. aether is standing beside you, and paimon’s sitting on the arm of the couch, but behind them is baizhu, changsheng loosely coiled around his shoulders.

oh no.

“one of the ingredients in barbara’s medicine is qingxin,” aether explains, “i only had so many, so i started buying them from the pharmacy. he got curious and asked about you… i hope you don’t mind?”

you barely hear him, focused on the lift of changsheng’s head as she whispers something into baizhu’s ear. he looks surprised, mostly, but also confused, and you know exactly why.

after all if he can sense god remains, he can surely sense the god.

“is there a problem, doctor?” you ask, and wait until both aether and paimon turned to him to raise a finger to your lips.

keep quiet. don’t tell him. i don’t want to lose this yet.

he looks between you and aether, clearly conflicted.

please.

after a moment, he sighs, shaking his head as he adjusts his glasses. “nothing is wrong, my apologies. changsheng, if you will..”

he begins to search through his inventory while changsheng slithers past paimon, curling around your wrist. baizhu takes out a notepad, pulling over a chair.

“aether, you’ve been coming to the pharmacy for qingxin for a little over 3 months. is that a good estimate for the length of time this has occurred?”

he glanced at you, and you nodded.

that was a lie, technically.. but it was for the greater good. baizhu would mark you some anomaly, recommend you just keep taking barbara’s medicine, and everything would be okay. you’d be fine. no stresses of godhood, no giving up your peaceful life in the realm within, nothing.

changsheng uncoils from your hand, climbing onto aether’s shoulders to get to baizhu. he doesn’t so much as blink, letting her wind back into place. what did she go to you for, then? “do any other symptoms come with them, such as nausea or headaches?”

“no, not really.”

“have you noticed anything strange about the blood? clots, maybe, or discoloration?”

you meet his pointed look, ignoring how your heart picks up. call it selfishness. “nothing.”

baizhu sighs. “are you certain? if you want this to go away, you need to be honest.”

at least you were right on one front. to get back the life you had, you’d need to give it up. while you knew neither aether or paimon would resent you—they’d dealt with gods disguising themselves before, surely they couldn’t hate you—their attitude toward you would certainly change.

your silence is clearly worrying, and you shake your head before anybody asks questions. “i’m certain, there’s nothing.”

he again looks conflicted, and paimon looks between the two of you, frowning. “uh, is paimon missing something…?”

“i’m sorry,” baizhu says finally, “but it’s for your own health.”

before you can protest, he reaches up towards changsheng. she shifts, revealing the napkin you used earlier hidden between her body and his, clearly marked with blue.

when did she-?

baizhu flicks out the napkin and paimon gasps. “i can tell they’re getting worse, and while i understand it’s your choice, i value your life more.”

aether turns to you, and you can’t read the expression on his face. “is that really yours?”

“…yeah. i put it together that teyvat wants me to tell someone, but i didn’t want to lose what we had.”

he smiles, holding out his hand. when you took it, he pulled you up off the couch and into a hug.

“you’ll never lose me,” he promised, “not even if you’re a god. not even if you’re my god.”

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau #self aware genshin #aether genshin impact #genshin aether #sagau aether #sagau x reader #genshin sagau x reader #sagau x you #aether x reader #genshin x reader #x reader #hmm i’ll #baizhu #sagau baizhu #cause he’s swag #yeah uh this is two days late cause i was meant to post a thinng about venti instead #and devoted my time to finishing that #very hubristic of me i know #anyway um. here’s this #forgot how much y’all liked the first one #hope this is good enough— #anywya go drink water and have a good night gamers #WHY DO I KEEP FORGETTING SHIT WHEN I POST RAHHHHHHH