#This post kinda crumbled toward the end but I hope it's still interesting enough :'3

[makerofmadness]

What's with Balloon Boy and the Daycare Attendant?

The Balloon World arcade machine exists, it's in the DA's room and both characters are involved in it. It's probably one of the most cryptic minigames in the FNAF series as a whole, but while we could ponder what exactly it's supposed to mean (maybe I'll do that for all the security breach minigames eventually), the main question I have is this:

WHY Balloon Boy specifically? Why is the minigame about HIM?

Is there a connection between the two characters? Or was it a completely random decision?

Out of nowhere, thinking about Balloon World, I came to a realization:

The Lights.

Balloon Boy's entire gimmick in FNAF 2 was that if he got into your office, he would disable your flashlight and vent lights (...somehow. I know we all make the jokes about him taking the batteries [and then that FNAF 57: Freddy In Space thing in FNAF World said he just straight-up steals your entire flashlight], but you never see the battery icon disappear or appear empty in FNAF 2 itself when he gets into your office. And the vent lights also stop working, so unless they also operate on batteries, then... does he actually take them from you?).

What's the one rule in the daycare?

Keep the lights on.

His mechanic is the antithesis to what Sun wants and exactly what Moon would want. Balloon Boy doesn't keep the lights on. He prevents you from turning them on at all.

(which also makes me kinda sad there wasn't a Glamrock version of BB. Then again, I don't know how exactly he would've uniquely affected like anything. Regardless I am hoping for the day someone in the fandom makes a glamrock bb who is arch-enemies with sun and gets along well with moon skseijdndndnd-)

It feels kinda obvious and I'm guessing I'm not the only person to think about this, but I have never seen anyone else bring this up. Not on YouTube, not on tumblr, nowhere. Maybe if I go looking for it I'll see, but i'm surprised I haven't bumped into anyone else saying this just naturally. I go into the BB tags a LOT, surely SOMEONE would've said something, right? I don't even see it noted in the trivia on the page for the arcade game on the fnaf wiki.

...but is this supposed to mean anything? Or is it just a cute little reference or callback? it's hard to say, especially with how ambiguous the minigame is.

Though I DID think of ONE thing... (possible minor spoilers for Ruin under the cut):

Saw this pointed out in a youtube video that the BB World screen (with Eclipse, who makes their proper debut in Ruin after effectively being foreshadowed by the minigame in SB's base game) can be seen on the ceiling in the DA's room. Which makes sense, obviously, but also take note of the pirate-themed windows in the hallway leading to it.

...now, which character do most of us tend to associate with Balloon Boy? His "tag-team partner," of sorts?

Foxy. The Pirate.

With this, I found that there's more Foxy-related stuff associated with the daycare area than I had previously realized because I had never made any connections before. I mean, Kids' Cove is directly linked to it for god's sake.

Like. I hope i haven't forgotten to mention anything (I've been writing this post over the course of hours 'Cus I had stuff to do in the middle of it all). My brain's kinda starting to fry. But basically: Was Foxy originally meant to be the Daycare Attendant, in-universe? Was there gonna be a Glamrock Balloon Boy with him, like as his first mate or something??? Were they gonna be connected to Fazbear Theater????? (Uh basically Sun/Moon to my knowledge from confirmation in the books and a lot of more subtle implications in-game mainly involving environmental pieces were originally meant to be in the Fazbear Theater as a stage animatronic but got moved to daycare duty instead and being reprogrammed. Which actually explains a lot about them when you think about it-)

Like. Ok I'm forgetting where I was going with this, I'm sorry, but I guess it's food for thought/adds to the weird connections between DA and BB, I guess. Idk. I can't focus that well right now to keep making new ideas.

felt like sharing my interpretation of the Balloon World minigame itself at least since earlier I did kinda finally get it down concretely:

I kinda developed a theory that Eclipse is Sun/Moon's "safe mode" and that rebooting DA reactivated Eclipse as a result. Like, they're their own AI that was at one point implemented. but then Vanny happened and locked them out thanks to the whole Glitchtrap virus thing (albeit it only seemed to reach Moon, while Sun remains seemingly unaffected. Guessing it's because they're different AIs [finally implied/basically confirmed by their Ruin dialogue). Eclipse has seemingly not been active for some time, or at least never post-pizzaplex closure, given how they're seemingly completely oblivious to the fact that this place is closed with no signs of opening.

So the minigame was foreshadowing Eclipse's existence and implying their "trapped" nature, which also could be seen as paralleling Vanessa's whole "Vanny" situation, especially given how iirc one of the messages related to princess quest can be found near the arcade machine.

#This post kinda crumbled toward the end but I hope it's still interesting enough :'3 #fnaf #fnaf sb #fnaf ruin #fnaf eclipse #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #daycare attendant #balloon boy

[crowtrinkets]

Your Weary Widow Marches

A Gender Neutral MCxFelix fic in which our dear barista educates their teacher and shows him some music from their home.

I’ve never really written fanfiction before but I thought Id give it a shot. The formatting looks weird on my end so if it looks weird after posting I apologize I couldn’t figure it out. Hope you enjoy!

—-

The crackling fire and pages being turned were the only sounds heard for the past few hours. Felix and I sat on either side of a couch placed in Anisa’s office silently reading our respective books. I’ve been in Astraea for nearly a week and had I known that Felix’s teaching method would be done via reading books the size of an encyclopedia I probably would have chosen Sage or Anisa instead... probably

I glance up at Felix, he’s sitting with legs crossed slouching on the arm rest of the couch, glasses on and enthralled in his book. I'm leaning with my back against the arm rest facing Felix, peering at him from behind my knees. I watch as his eyes scan the pages, partially hiding behind my book so he doesn’t notice me stare. I rub my eyes, dry from the endless reading of Astraean history. I know plenty of history and lore from this world thanks to countless hours of playing Last Legacy and stalking forums, but I don’t think I could’ve convinced Felix of that without having to explain what video games are let alone the internet. He thought if I were to learn magic I should at least know part of its history and it’s contribution to their society. 

Despite spending some time with Felix I'm still amazed at the attention span he has for reading. I scan the room trying not to move too much lest I be scolded by the warden. I glance over at the high back chair across the room. The one Anisa sat me in after my jaunt through Felix’s portal and painfully onto Anisa's desk. My mind begins to wander. 

I’ve only been here a short time but I feel like I’ve adjusted well. I wonder what's happening on Earth. Does time pass the same at home like how it does in this realm? World? Alternate universe? I still don’t exactly know how to explain my predicament. Has anyone noticed I'm gone yet? I wonder if I’m on the missing persons list, someone at work will have noticed I didn’t show up for my shifts. I cringe slightly at that last thought, my open book now resting on my chest. Ah damn it, I’m definitely fired aren’t I. How am I gonna pay my bills.... and my home, I miss my bed....my plants. SHIT MY PLANTS. I bring my hand to my face and cringe, my beloved house plants they’re going to wither away in my absence. Fate is such a cruel mistress.

“Bored of reading are we?” I slightly jump at Felix’s comment. I bring my hand down and look at him. Staring at me through his glasses a smirk on his lips. I flush slightly and close my book.

“No I just, got to thinking about Earth, and my life, I guess I’m just a little home sick,” I mumble out those last words. I want to be honest with Felix but I don’t want him beating himself up for my situation. I mean yes he is the reason I’m stuck here but I don't hate him for it. Felix frowns and closes his own book.

“Ah... I am sorry about that, I-“ I sit up interrupting him.

“No no no, I'm not mad at you, I’m actually quite enjoying my time here. I mean I don’t have to make drinks for annoying customers everyday here,” I force a laugh but it comes out awkwardly. Felix gives me a quizzical look. I then realize, with the amount of times he calls “dear barista” I just assumed he knew what it meant. “Yknow, my job? A barista?” Felix flushes and avoids looking at me.

“I must admit.. I do not actually know what that is,” I cant help but chuckle, the great necromancer Felix, is embarrassed to not know something.

“Well my dear teacher," I emphasize the word teacher mimicking the way he calls me, "allow me to educate you on some Earth information,” I sit cross legged and scoot closer to him book in my lap. Felix adjusts to face me properly and removes his glasses. I clear my throat and smile at him. “My part time occupation of being a Barista, requires me to make drinks for customers and sell them, more often I make coffee but sometimes people order tea. We sell pastries as well,” Felix gives me yet another confused look.

“All you do is prepare drinks and flakey confectioneries?” I nod in response with a smile, I can only imagine what he assumed a Barista was. Felix chuckles and runs a hand through his hair, “All this time I thought it was something more complicated, you described your customers as being annoying? I am assuming you do not like this particular job?”

“Well, I don't hate it but the customers can get a little rude and for the dumbest reasons too. One time a woman threw her drink at me claiming I added 3 1/2 shots of espresso and rather than 3,” I laugh to my self looking back at the memory, chuckling more when I see Felix’s horrified expression.

“A woman... threw a drink at you? Because she deemed it made incorrectly? I did not except Earth customs to be so. . . Barbaric,” Felix looks at me astonished and confused but all I can do is laugh. “And why are you laughing? Are you alright did she hit your head when she assaulted you with a beverage?” Felix is now standing while I clutch my stomach in pain, the combination of the story and Felix’s confusion is too much to bare. After a minute I manage to calm down enough to speak.

“No no, she did not hit me in the head, I’m just laughing cause it was funny, well at the time it wasn’t but my co workers took pictures and I looked ridiculous. I can laugh about it now,” I wipe a stray tear from my eye as I recount the experience. Thank god her drink was iced. 

“Picture?” Felix chimes in. I try to think of how to explain how photography works but I come up with an idea.

“Why don’t I show you?” I stand handing Felix my book and I jaunt over to Anisa’s desk. I let her peruse my backpack because she seemed so interested in my “Earthly items” as she called them. I walked back over and sit on the floor, patting the ground next to me so Felix can join. 

“You known there is a perfectly good sofa right next to you, I don’t understand why you wish to sit on the ground like we are mere children,” but despite his protests Felix sits next to me still clutching our books. I rummage through my back tossing the other items to the side. My wallet, a flyer, a jacket, that granola bar which has definitely crumbled to pieces in its package. Until I finally find it, my phone. My first night here I instinctively tried to use it, forgetting I am now stuck in a world without wifi or cell towers. In an effort to hopefully conserve its battery I hard shut off my phone I did not think I would need it but now is an opportunity for me to educate Felix about my world rather than his and tell him a little about myself. Really I just want a reason to prolong my time from reading anymore history. I hold the power button and silently pray. Please have some battery left, please please. Felix is leaning towards me, his face inching closer to mine, I glance at him studying his expression. He looks confused, and curious at the same time, there's a slight scrunch in his brow like he’s trying to seem like he understands what I’m doing, but I know he doesn’t. In that moment his eyes meet mine, I turn my head to fully face him, a blush creeps up his face and I can feel mine begin to warm as well. “Felix-“

BING

We both jump at the sound of my phone turning on. Damn phone, well I guess I kinda asked for that. Felix sits back and clears his throat.

“Um, what, what is that?” His voice wavers slightly but I choose to ignore it to save him some dignity.

“Its my phone, on Earth nearly everyone has one of these. You can use it to communicate with other people, take pictures, look things up, and listen to music.” I begin to unlock it and open my photo album.

“You can communicate with other people? On this... this flat brick?” Felix points accusatory at my phone the scrunch in his eyebrows have intensified creating deep crevices on his forehead. I nod while I scroll through trying to find the photo. 

“Yup and take pictures, such as this one,” I turn my phone to face Felix revealing the image documenting the after affects of being assaulted with coffee. He leans over to get a better look. In the picture I'm standing by the cash register, soaked through my clothes in an extra large coffee's amount of liquid. The brown liquid stains my apron and the parts on my white shirt poking out from underneath. There's smeared whipped cream going across my shoulder up my neck and partially along my jaw, and the scowl on my face could kill a man. The instant I show the picture to Felix he plants a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. He turns away in an attempt to hide his amusement but I know he wont last.

“Im-I must apologize I did not mean to laugh but, but the look on your face is hilarious,” Felix faces me again trying to hide his smile with the back of his hand. I start to chuckle, I turn the phone back to me and swipe to the next picture. Its a similar picture but in this one my co worker put whipped cream on top of my head, something about it “completing the look”. When I show this picture to Felix it breaks his terrible attempt of remaining poise. He laughs loudly, and it’s extremely contagious. I laugh along with him reminiscing in his beautiful laugh. Every once in a while we calm down until we look at the picture and we start up again. After a bit I’m able to calm down enough to speak.

“Don’t feel bad for laughing, at the time I was pissed but my co workers cheered me up and now I have these memories to laugh at,” I start to look through my album again as Felix calms down from his laughing high. I find more pictures to show him. Some are of me at work with my co workers, one picture of me laughing as I held a dog that jumped through the drive through window. I show him more pictures, some are of earth sunsets which Felix claimed to look like they belong in a painting. I also show him a picture of some Geese I saw while on a walk, and then a picture of said Geese chasing me. This gets Felix to laugh again but not as hard.

“You lead an interesting life on Earth, it seems similar to Sage you are also prone to provoke others into attacking you,” I roll my eyes at Felix’s joke and give him a friendly shoulder bump. Its at this moment I realize how close he’s sitting. Our books set aside and Felix is leaning on one arm politely looking over my shoulder at my phone, I can tell he doesn’t really understand how it works but it seems he’s enjoying this moment to much to ask. In an attempt to keep the sweet moment I change the subject.

“Hey do you want to listen to some Earth music?” With a nod from Felix I close the app and instinctively go to press my streaming app. Damn no Internet. I think for a second and remember I have some music I bought in times before streaming apps existed. I find the app and open it. Dear god my taste was cringey. I scroll through the songs until I stumble across a less than embarrassing song. “This is a classic where I come from, everyone has heard this song at least once. I lay back onto the floor so I can properly listen to the music. Felix looks at me and awkwardly lays down as well, I click on the song allowing it to play.

Just a small town girl

Livin' in a lonely world

She took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Just a city boy

Born and raised in South Detroit

He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Felix gives me a puzzled look but I just shrug and look up at the ceiling. I close my eyes and take in the song as it plays. If I concentrate hard enough I can imagine my self back on Earth. Sitting in my room listening to 80s music while I do laundry or cook my dinner. I start to feel nostalgic again but I try not let my emotions take over. The song ends and I pause it before it plays the next song. I roll onto my side and rest my head on my hand.

“So what’d you think?” I beam at Felix, I genuinely want to know what he thinks of Earth music, and more specifically a song that I am quite fond of. Felix is laying flat on his back, he ankles crossed and his hands laying on his chest. He looks nervous to be laying on the ground next to me but has made no attempts to leave.

“I thought it was... interesting to say the least. It had quite a captivating story although I was confused when the subject changed multiple times, and what exactly are they trying to “not stop believing” in” Felix does air quotes and seems genuinely enthralled in the “story” of the song. I smile and start to look for another song. 

“How about you choose the next one?” I tilt my phone towards him. Felix sits up at my question.

“I dont feel very well versed in Earth music though,” He mumbles. I shrug at his comment.

“Just pick one with a name that sounds interesting to you” I show Felix how to use the phone and hand it to him laying back down. I peek at Felix, he’s holding the phone in one hand and is scrolling with the other, he’s holding it like an old man. I watch his face, he’s thoroughly looking at every single song title and determining whether they are interesting or not. I find it... cute, his concentration face is cute. Oh if he caught me staring I know he would become a blubbering blushing mess, I mean I would be too. I close my eyes again as I wait for him to pick. 

“This one seems interesting,” I hum in response, but when Felix says the title out-loud and panic seizes through me. I sit up and shout WAIT but I'm too late. He already pressed it. And then I hear it.

That dreaded, infamous G note. Felix turns towards me surprised and hastily hands the phone to me, I pause it before another note can play.

“Hells MC what will that song make my head explode or something??? You nearly made my heart stop.” Felix takes a deep breath with his hand on his chest.

“I'm sorry, that song its kind of embarrassing actually,” I can feel myself flushing, I look away in embarrassment at the fact that I had that song downloaded and the fact that I nearly sent my teacher into cardiac arrest.

“Embarrassing how?” Felix looks at me puzzled. I open my mouth to speak but then stop. Hold on a second, Felix doesn’t know this band, let alone what an emo phase is. Well judging by his raven skull necklace he does but not in the way I do. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if we listened to it. I do still like their music. But god did it HAVE to be this song. I clear my throat and look back at Felix.

“Nothing, it’s nothing I was just being dramatic,” I stifle a laugh. “We can listen to it, I actually quite like this band,” Felix nods and turns to face my direction, were now both sitting cross legged and I press play on the song. I smile a little as the song plays and close my eyes again. I cant even remember the last time I listened to this song. My mind begins to wander again, to my younger years when I first heard this song.

 I was such a try hard back then, wanting so badly to “be different” but also to mend the emotional pain I was going through, and this band really helped me through it. This song is a little more narrative than the last one so I hope Felix would like it. I can’t believe I freaked out like I did god he must think I'm crazy, or maybe that lady really did hit my head when she threw that drink at me. As the song plays I silently hum to it, quiet enough so that Felix might not hear. I drink in the lyrics and instruments and it feels like I'm listening to it again for the first time. 

The song ends and I open my eyes again to pause the music before it plays another one.

“So what did you think of tha-“ before I can continue I'm stopped by the sight of Felix’s face. His eyes are misty and his nose is colored pink. Was he... was he crying? Felix looks at me and his eyes go wide. He quickly turns away and rubs at his face.

“There-there is quite a lot of dust on this floor, honestly you would think Annie would have any sense to clean in here every once in a while,” I cant help but smile, wow he really is a goth child. 

“It’s ok Felix, this song makes me cry sometimes too,” Felix side eyes me and sniffles.

“I-I was not crying, yes I admit the song was... moving to say the least…. But, but I will not be mocked by you for my emotions,” Felix turns to face me again refusing to meet my eyes, his voice turning accusatory. I scoot closer to Felix and place a hand on his shoulder. He looks at me astonished and slightly flushed, either from the contact or the crying, I mean dust, I will never know.

“Congratulations” I say with a smile. Felix’s puzzled look twists even more.

“What ever are you talking about,” Felix questions.

“You’re emo now,”

#fictif games #fictif #fictif last legacy #last legacy fictif #last legacy #fictif felix #felix iskandar escellun #felix escellun #fictif sage #fictif anisa #crow writes

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2020

You know, when I finished my latest list and realised every decade had the same pattern and that we were slowly going towards a series of great years for pop, I didn’t realise how good that year would be.

What’s at the top? Am I boringly predictable because I already said I loved that song all the way back in January 2020? Let’s find out.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. How was your 2020?

Mine was actually surprisingly good, considering. I’m lucky enough to have a job that I can partially do from home, and I was extremely paranoid from the get-go and nobody got sick under this roof so far. Turns out I’m even better at my job from home and I got permission to work from home one day per week even after the health crisis is over! My first name was also finally officially approved and I can’t tell you how happy I feel about that. I almost feel bad to have had such a good year considering the circumstances. I feel like an asshole just because I’m happy, haha.

The only frustrating part was that I was supposed to see Hatari in concert in Paris in early April which, as you can guess, was cancelled. I’m not too mad about it though, since their tour was called “Europe will crumble” and the message saying the tour was cancelled started with “since Europe is actually crumbling due to Covid-19″ and that’s hysterical.

Good or interesting albums that came out in 2020 now, let’s see.

Nightwish released Human/Nature, which was a huge letdown compared to their previous album, but I will relisten to it at some point to make sure I wasn’t just in a bad mood that day.

The Birthday Massacre released Diamonds, which might be their weakest album since their debut, but contained some real gems (I listened to The Last Goodbye on a loop, it floored me. Flashback and Enter are also very good).

The 1975 released Notes On A Conditional Form, and let’s be real, it’s a f█cking mess. You could cut half the tracks and end up with an excellent album, but as it is it’s like, yes, a collection of notes ; however there’s some truely excellent shit on it (see unelligible songs).

Thanks to a friend on a discord server I was exposed to Dorian Electra’s music and I haven’t been quite the same ever since. I’m so happy to be alive to see other enbies making such great music with an insanely good aesthetic surrounding it and asking so many interesting questions about gender. Also the arc the ‘gentleman’ character goes through over the course of the entire tracklist of the 2020 My Agenda album is absolutely hilarious, don’t @ me.

I also discovered 100 Gecs this year. Why are most of you guys saying it’s unlistenable garbage. It’s just as abrasive and over the top as industrial music is, but with none of the edginess or drama. I love it. What the hell. But yeah Tree of Clues was released this year. Good.

Speaking of industrial, in March 2020 Nine Inch Nails were like “hey remember when we released Ghosts I-IV a decade ago entirely for free and how amazing that was? Well we’re all in lockdown and bored as hell so here’s Ghosts V-VI and it’s also free. Enjoy” and I f█cking died instantly. And it’s even better than I-IV. What the hell was that year

Jonsi released Shiver. It’s strange and highly experimental. I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing I was into hyperpop this year, otherwise going from his previous material straight to this album would have been brutal.

Yadda yadda yadda After Hours by the Weeknd good yadda yadda.

I’ve joked about that already but if you had told me in 2019 that 2020 would have fires, a pandemic, riots, monoliths appearing and disappearing, and also a super good Machine Gun Kelly album, guess which part I would have found the most ridiculous. But yeah uh. Tickets to my Downfall good

So uh this year I tried to listen to some hyperpop and liked it a lot, and I also dipped my toes timidly into screamo and listened to Svalbard, who released When I Die this year, and the entire album was a very beautiful, very intricately decorated punch to the face. It sounds like God Is An Astronaut except with a shit ton of yelling. I love it. Open Wound is my favorite track on it.

But no, despite all of this, my album of the year was from a band I had never even heard about before that year, called Spanish Love Songs. The album is titled Brave Faces Everyone and it’s line after line after line of extremely relatable generational angst but yelled with complete sincerity and it’s so propulsive and energetic you can’t help but feel both exhausted and ready to fight the entire universe. I don’t know how it works, but it’s incredible. The entire album is wonderfully brutal, so it’s kind of difficult to pick my favorite songs on it, but Beachfront Property and the title track stand out.

Unelligible songs, now, and there’s, uh, quite a few of them too so I’m also gonna use bullet points. Good lord this post is gonna be long.

First, let me say I have literally no idea why Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus wasn’t a bigger hit. It’s not on the year-end US top 100 and it feels extremely wrong. Would have made it to #4 on this list otherwise.

I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.

Heaven by the late Avicii featuring Coldplay should have charted in 2019 and still didn’t chart in 2020 and that’s a real shame.

If the world was a bit less unfair, Lovesick Girls by Blackpink would have been a hit rather than the awful Ice Cream.

One day I will stop complaining about my bafflement concerning the lack of mainstream pop charts success of The 1975. Today is not that day. I just love how they keep making songs about extremely awkward relationships full of weird details, and I haven’t grown tired of that yet. So yeah If You’re Too Shy is about a guy who’s crush is asking him to get naked on Skype in his hotel room and he’s, uh, not too sure about that idea.

And Me & You Together is about a guy who never finds the right moment to tell his best friend he’s in love with her, and he manages to do so at the end and it’s cute as hell. My fave part is “I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer / It's not as weird as it appears / It's 'cause my body doesn't stop me (Stop me) / Oh, it's okay, lots of people think I'm gay / But we're friends, so it's cool, why would it not be?”. Relatable as f█ck.

And now for an international hit that should have been bigger in the US and/or in my country but wasn’t: Head & Heart by Joel Corry and MNEK.

I’ve heard Nos Célébrations by Indochine extremely often on French radio for months now so I was very surprised to see that it didn’t crack the local year-end list. What happened.

I can finally hear the appeal of Bring Me The Horizon. It took me ages. And also Death Stranding. The song Ludens isn’t in the game per say, but it’s among the ones you can pick to broadcast briefly when people drive by your constructions, and long story short it's been living rent-free in my head for months now.

Phew.

It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, which is saying something considering the kind of shit I put on some of my previous lists.

Ne Reviens Pas (Gradur et Heuss l’Enfoiré) - Heuss is a French artist that kept baffling me while making my lists for the previous years, and I was like “??? ok, that’s it then, I guess I’m getting too old to get what teenagers find funny”. This one worked for me, though. And the music video doesn’t hurt. Really dumb and really fun.

Adore You (Harry Styles) - Perfectly good little pop song, very pleasant to listen to, never outstayed its welcome for me.

Mood (24kGoldn) - This doesn’t sound like a very good relationship, my dude, but that’s still a super pleasant song.

WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion) - This song is absolutely hilarious and I will hear no argument from any of you.

Control (Zoe Wees) - Was clearly a hit here. Should have been even bigger though. What a powerful but comfy voice. If I had better taste it would be on the list.

Hot Girl Bummer (Blackbear) - I. Uh. Listen. I keep saying I have bad taste and nobody believes me. Do you believe me now. But yeah. “F█ck you, and you, and you~, I hate your friends and they hate me too” is gonna pop in my head every single time someone is being a jerk anywhere near me now. It’s been happening all year already. Someone trashed my documents at work? Someone isn’t wearing a mask in public? That guy has filled his car with rolls of toilet paper? Brain goes “F█ck you, and you, and you~”. Every. Single. Time.

Come & Go (Juice WRLD & Marshmello ) - Damn, that’s a pretty good little song. I’ve seen plenty of people saying it’s ruined by the drop, but may I remind you I’m the person who loves Blue by Eiffel 65 with all my heart. If the song was ramping up consistently until the end instead of ending like that, it would have made the list, definitely.

And now, the actual list. This one actually feels pretty solid, I genuinely like everything on it, there’s no filler here for once.

10 - The Box (Roddy Rich)

US: #3 / FR: #23

Now this is a weird case, because for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this song was so popular and I was completely neutral about it. Then, one morning in September, my mental jukebox (which always, always puts a song on a loop in my head when I wake up) decided to play it. And I was like oh wow?? I never noticed the atmosphere in that song before? It’s so great. And that hook too. Let’s listen to it.

So yeah, I don’t know what happened. It just clicked one day and everything fell into place, I guess.

9 - Alane (Wes & Robin Shulz)

US: Not on the list / FR: #93

Come on. You can’t do a remake of one of my previous #1 songs and let it chart in 2020. That’s cheating. Even with this subpar drop, I have to put it on the list, now.

I’ve already said my piece about the original, so I’m just going to send you back to my 1997 list.

8 - Kings and Queens (Ava Max)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

[BBC documentary voice] After Lady Gaga decided to make piano balads and left her musical niche vacant, Ava Max quickly took her place as the top predator pop diva. Even after Lady Gaga was re-introduced to her natural habitat in 2020, she still hasn’t fully recovered in Europe, where Ava Max still reigns supreme on the charts -

(tldr I think it’s hilarious that this isn’t on the US Billboard while Lady Gaga isn’t on the French year-end top 100)

7 - Roses (Saint Jhn & Imanbek)

US: #19 / FR: #3

What an earworm. It doesn’t even bother trying to have an intro or an outro, so it loops almost perfectly. It’s like entering a party that started long before you arrived, and it will go on long after you leave it to go back home. Kind of hypnotic in a way.

And yes, my mental jukebox was very fond of using it to wake me up this year, so this is another song that’s here almost solely because of that.

6 - Physical (Dua Lipa)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (hehehe)

“Hey I’m not that old” says the guy who’s definitely a sucker for this kind of retro throwback that was so popular this year. Oh well.

I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, though. Apart from the fact that everyone seems to have a different fave song on that album. Guess that’s quality for you.

5 - Rain on Me (Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

That is far from being Lady Gaga’s best song, but it was a joy to listen to everytime it was on the radio anyway. Also Ariana Grande has surprisingly good chemistry with Gaga! This year was full of strange duets mostly made for commercial reasons, and this one isn’t an exception, but unlike a lot of them, it really, really works.

4 - Dynamite (BTS)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

I’m still not 100% sold on k-pop even if a ton of it sounds super good, but come on. Even if some bits of this song (especially the beginning of the second chorus) sound a bit like they were made on autopilot, it still sounds just as happy and fun several months after I first heard it and I never got tired of it. That’s quality. You hear it and you can’t help but tap your feet and smile.

Actually, I’m sure there’s people somewhere that don’t smile when they hear this song. And they must be avoided at all costs.

3 - Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD)

US: #62 / FR: Not on the list

What are you doing so high on this list, old man. Why are you still here in the year 2020. I thought we left you in the previous decade. Who gave you the right.

I’m gonna tell you who did, and it’s actually Juice WRLD. Because that chorus is incredible, and like a lot of people I’m pissed off because the guy died super young and this shit shouldn’t happen to anybody. No, his early material wasn’t great, but I’m sorry I’m gonna say it again: have you heard this damn chorus? It’s suspenseful and dark, it’s got this lowkey menacing quality, it’s an earworm and a half, and it’s more convincing in like six lines than Eminem’s own flexing is in the entire song.

The beat is extremely good as well, and the flow, obviously, impressive. The weakest link is Eminem’s writing, which is as usual full of puns and weird wordplay, except here a lot of it isn’t great, and that last ultra fast part at the end is technically impressive but it also drives the song up a cliff and stops it dead in its tracks once it’s over. But frankly the lines fly by so fast it’s difficult to be too annoyed by them.

Can I sincerely put this extremely flawed song so high on my list? A better question would be “did I spend hours trying to learn how to sing this shit without choking on my own spit?”. The answer is yes. To both.

2 - Heartless (The Weeknd)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

I’ve said it on my 2015 and 2016 lists already, but just for the record I’ll say it again: it took me ages to like The Weeknd, mostly because I found most of his songs fairly boring, or disliked the lyrics, or both. Also I never really liked the general vibe of his “sexy” songs like The Hills, they felt dark but in an unpleasant creepy way. Felt like miserable hedonism, if that makes sense.

So, because I’m a person with extremely consistent and logical tastes, here’s the exact same shit he was making before, except that this time I absolutely adore it.

What is he doing differently that makes the whole After Hours album click for me whereas almost all of his previous material failed to do so? Is it the energy? Is it the reverb? Is it the fact that the narrator sounds properly unhinged and, frankly, scared to be spiralling out of control? Why are the colors so beautiful yet full of anxiety? Why is that bridge so fantastic? How can you make your voice look like a glowstick in the dark?

I give up. I have no clue. At least I’m done talking about-

Oh.

1 - Blinding Lights (The Weeknd)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (listen sometimes something’s just that good, ok)

Surprise. Or not.

Wow, look at that, Johannes has put this year’s number one pop song at number one on their personal playlist. The audacity. The edge. What a hot take.

I discovered that song when it first came out at the end of 2019 and I adored it instantly. And I was so scared it wouldn’t be a hit. Which means I’m a f█cking dumbass considering it ended up breaking all sorts of records in 2020. But what can I say, overplay can be a blessing when you love a song that much.

Like every single song I put at number one on one of my lists, I will draw this one at some point and you will understand how incredibly satisfying it is to listen to a song called Blinding Lights, talking about city lights looking blurry when you’re driving at night, while looking itself like a bunch of blurry city lights passing by super fast. Perfect in every way.

Also it sounds exactly like A-ha, and that never hurts.

See you next year! Pretty sure it will be even better music-wise.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

[megabadbunny]

some kind of AU where Rose dates her superior, The Doctor. Could be student,teacher or worker,boss or whatever you want

Hey there nonny!!! I’m sure your interest in my fill for this prompt died a long time ago and its corpse is now gently crumbling away to dust, for which I deeply apologize. The thing is, while I totally understand why folks like AUs, they’re not my thing (I tend to be a stickler for canon or canon-divergent stuff, with the exception of fem!versions of the Doctor), and after a series of former jobs with male supervisors who were, well, kinda dickbags a lot of the time, I’ll admit I had a hard time getting over that and struggled with this prompt quite a bit. (Seriously, I’ve been working on a response to this for two and a half years now!) However, because I do have stuff written, and it seems a shame for it to just languish away in my WIPs folder untouched by the light of day, Imma go ahead and post what little I did manage to get written over the last 28 months. And here’s the dilly: if someone else sees it and feels a mighty need, I’d be more than happy to send them my notes or do a bit of collab with them if they’d like to pick up the trail from here!

pygmalion’s revenge

Rose Tyler is, in no particularorder, 24 years old, British, white, female, a stage actress, a former gymnastand current runner, a connoisseur of chocolates and films starring Idris Elba andColin Firth, and, despite being a dreadful flirt, just a tad bit dense when itcomes to picking up on signs of a certain nature.

The epiphany smacks her like a handto the face, dawning on her sometime in a grey morning in her tiny London flat.Evidence of a job hunt is spread over her dinged old kitchen table, a smallmountain of newspapers and printouts with her laptop sitting pretty andvictorious at the peak, all of them hiding pockmarks and coffee-rings andsomething that looks suspiciously like a cigarette burn which Shareen swears upand down that she knows nothing about. Rose stares at it all while hersleep-lagged brain tries to decide whether her mouth wants tea or coffee. (Teais the obvious answer, and the likely victor, but sometimes a mug of foul-tastingjet fuel is just what she needs to get through the morning. “Morning person”does not number among the many things that Rose Tyler is.) And while her eyesstare and her eyelids droop and her brain pontificates, even though it’s gotnothing to do with anything, somewhere in the back room of her subconscioussome part of her just realizes.

The Doctor is totally, completelyarse-over-heels in love with her.

“Jesus, Jack,” she asks, withoutpreamble, the moment her flatmate steps into the kitchen, “Am I an idiot?”

Jack’s resounding laughter letsher know that yes, in this particular case, “idiot” ranks very high on the listof things that Rose Tyler is.

***

Rose firstmet the Doctor when she was 19 years old, neither a gymnast nor a runner norsomeone with even her A-levels, working a dead-end job at Henrik’s. She hadnabbed the position in an attempt to chip away at theseveral-thousand-pound-debt incurred by a year of irresponsible living with agood-for-nothing boyfriend. (Thanks, Jimmy.) And the day she met the Doctor, shehad just clocked out at the end of her shift and stepped into the ancient lift,so absorbed in her fashion magazine with some silly name (Belle or Metropolitanor Splendor or some such rot) that she didn’t even look up when the doorsopened and someone joined her.

She frowned.There it was again.

This time thetext was splashed in white across a model’s bright blue jumper—“Bad Wolf.”Those words kept popping up everywhere Rose looked. She saw them spray-paintedon bins, printed on takeaway menus, in big black letters outside stuffy-lookingoffice buildings, on the bottoms of pink and yellow nail polish sets. Thephrase had popped up everywhere seemingly overnight. What was this obsessionwith Bad Wolf, and more importantly, whydid no one else seem to notice it?

“I wouldn’tbuy that one,” a chipper voice informed her from somewhere to her left. “Thecolor is nice, but the lanolin acids present in such a wool-heavy blend arelikely to cause some unpleasant contact dermatitis.”

Rose openedher mouth to politely tell this gent and his posh Estuary accent to mind theirown business, but fortunately, her eyes moved faster than her lips; she foundherself staring at a bloke who, despite being so thin that a hard look mightknock him over, was pretty enough to make her heart trip on itself. Academictypes didn’t usually do it for her (there was something about their snootyvoices and prim manners and patronizing attitudes that grated on her nerves,somehow). But, looking this fellow up and down as subtly as she was able, eyescataloging everything from his spectacles to his wild hair to his freckles tothe ever-so-slightly tatty brown pinstripe suit—paired with Chucks, no less,who wears Chucks with a pinstripe suit?—Rose felt that perhaps she could makean exception this time.

“Thanks,professor. I’ll keep it in mind,” she teased as the lift lurched and lumbered upward.

“What makesyou say I’m a professor?” he asked, mouth twitching in amusement.

Sheshrugged. “S’just a joke,” she replied, but halfway through her sentence, itoccurred to her that the fellow was looking at her in a very specific way, andthat gave her pause. He wasn’t leering at her like the lads on the sidewalk, orsneering at her like gentlemen in suits were oft wont to do. Instead he waswatching her almost like—

Like she wasonto something.

Rose’s eyestracked him over. “I guess the specs look sort of professor-ish,” she offered.“Wearing a suit, too, brown and not too fancy. Nothing wrong with it, but youwouldn’t catch it at Harrods. And you’ve got a bunch of student papers stickingout of your briefcase,” she said, pointing at the worn leather case danglingfrom one hand.

“What makesyou say they’re from students?” he asked, a smile hiding in the corners of hiseyes.

She was definitely onto something.

“Well,they’ve got grades on them, don’t they?” Rose asked. “Gotta be students.”

His facesplit in a wide grin. “That makes sense. Well done.”

“Thanks,”Rose laughed, and she was only being a little sarcastic. “Did I pass the test,then?”

“With flyingcolors.”

Both of themsmiled at each other, and Rose felt just the tiniest twinge of regret when thelift arrived at its destination. The doors slid open, the bell chimed out aloud announcement, and neither Rose nor the professor moved away.

“Well,” theprofessor said, fidgeting a bit in his plimsolls. He tilted his head toward theexit. “Got to run. See you around, maybe?”

Not if I see you first is what Rose thought.

“Sure,” iswhat she said.

With acheeky grin, the professor stepped out of the lift and walked away. He didn’t seemto notice the paper that fluttered in his wake, drifting out of his case andfloating lazily, featherlike, to the floor.

“Wait,” Rosestarted, scooping the paper up in her hand, but the doors were closing and theprofessor didn’t turn back. Rose quickly gave the paper a once-over (it couldbe rubbish, but what if it was a student’s assignment, what if the professorhadn’t graded it yet, what if that poor sod ended up with a 0 through no faultof their own?) and was surprised by the words she found at the top.

OPEN CASTING CALL

And a littlebelow that:

For George Bernard Shaw’s

PYGMALION

At the Blue Box Theatre

Rosefrowned. Open casting? She wasn’tsure what that meant, exactly, but it was obviously something to do with aplay. Had to be a play if it was in a theatre. Right? Was it like auditions?(And if it was like auditions, why didn’t it just say that?)

The liftdoors opened at her destination and Rose balled the paper up in her hands,compressing it neatly into its own little cragged-edged world. She tossed it inthe rubbish bin without a second thought.

…but she didhave an individual thought, on its own, not two seconds later, which encouragedher to pick the paper right back up.

(No harm inchecking it out, right?)

***

A quick few minutes of Googlingshow her everything she needs to know. Jack is happy to supplement the rest.

“A bit familiar, isn’t it?” heteases, looking over her shoulder while she types. Normally she would beinclined to tell him that that’s a load of bunk, and then outline preciselyjust how much bunk that is, but the parallels seem pretty undeniable.

“Pyggies was years ago,” Rosesays in a protest that they both know is feeble. “This doesn’t mean—”

“Rose,” Jack interrupts, gently.“It means.”

Rose worries her lip while shescrolls down the screen. Jack’s right. Of course he is. But that doesn’t makethings any easier. It doesn’t make hurt feelings unhurt or apologies magicallysaid.

But.

“He’s trying,” Jack says.

“What, you his agent, now? Mostpeople get paid for a job like that.”

Jack rolls his eyes. “Look, Iknow he’s an idiot. Everyone knows. Hell, even he knows. But you also know he’smore than that. And even if it’s a stupid gesture…at least it’s a gesture.”

Rose stares at the screen somemore. Open CastingCall, it says. Born Yesterday, it says. Seeking ExceptionallyTalented Woman (Character Experience Preferred), it says.

“Those American accents are goingto be dreadful,” Rose says.

***

They’ll tellyou that you should never go into an audition unprepared, but Rose didn’t knowthat yet. Besides, she never really cared much about what They tell you.

(Also, shestill wasn’t entirely sure she was going to audition at all. Or so she toldherself, standing in front of the Blue Box Theatre with a crumpled flier in herhand. Maybe she had only shown up to see what the thing was all about.Certainly she had not shown up hoping to get cast, definitely she wasn’t hopingto see the intriguing professor-bloke again.)

“The queuestarts round the back,” a Scottish voice popped up, and Rose turned to see ayoung redheaded woman leaning against the blue brick wall. Her hair fell aroundher face in curtains, her legs were impossibly long, and the casual way shedragged smoke out of her cigarette made Rose’s fingers itch.

“Sorry?”

“The queue,”the girl repeated, as if repetition would encourage understanding. “It’s roundthe back.” She gestured with the cigarette, trailing ash in its wake. “Thatway.”

***

And that’s it, folks. If you’re interesting in picking it up, let me know and I’ll send you my notes!

#ficandchips #tenrose #ten x rose #tenxrose #tenrose au #wip #i feel so bad for never filling this prompt #in the last three years of accepting prompts i have filled p much every single one that came my way #i can only think of one or two i didn't #one bc the subject material wasn't my thing #the other bc it wasn't my fandom #but in both of those cases i was still able to fill other prompts from the requesters #i really wanted to fill this one #i thought it would be a nice departure from my usual stuff #but i have just not been able to take it anywhere #which is frustrating because i have so many notes! #and plans and everything! #i know exactly what's going to happen in this story!!! #but i just could not get over the supervisor x worker hangup #i know it's a sexy trope that ppl like but i really struggle with it #the power dynamics bother me #i thought putting it in a theatre setting would help #not only bc then the dynamics are significantly different but also bc I KNOW THEATRE Y'ALL #but yeah no #so i'm sorry nonny #maybe someone else will see this and fall in love with the idea and finish it up for you! #but if not then at least now you know i didn't completely abandon your prompt! #...i just mostly abandoned it #:'D

[ddetraque-blog]

Trigger (Part two of ?)

Pairing: None, really. It’s just Fem!Reader and the Avengers (even though this is set Post-Civil War)

A/N: Hey! I know I haven’t been on for a while, so here’s an apology gift. This will be a series (hopefully). Don’t worry, I’m working on Little Red Cabin Part 3. I haven’t abandoned it yet, and I don’t think I ever will. In the meantime, enjoy this!

Inspiration: I love psychology, and knowing what Hydra did to Bucky breaks my heart. But I wanted to know how they did it, and who did it. So I wrote this.

Summary: The reader was a scientist for that was forced to work for Hydra. She was the one who programmed the trigger words into the Winter Soldier’s brain.  And now, she shows up in Wakanda, claiming that she knows how to deprogram the triggers.

Warnings: Angst and violence, yet again. There’s some more choking, and some weakness on the Reader’s part, but that’s about it. Gets kinda sad and disheartening.

Word count: 1,159 words

Masterlist          Part One

You weren't expecting him to remember you, or know who you were. He hadn't really been conscious enough to remember the procedures you performed on him. And you definitely weren't expecting for him to rip off his restraints, leap off the chamber cot, and slam you into the concrete column between windows.

His metal hand enclosed over your throat, his face full of rage and confusion, and hatred for what you'd done to him. There was no coldness in his eyes, and you knew he wasn't what you created at the moment.

“It's nice to finally meet you, James,” you whispered, despite the air being pulled from your lungs. He snarled and pushed you up the wall. Your toes barely scraped the floor, sending a shrill of panic up your spine. You knew very well that you couldn’t overpower the Fist of Hydra, so you just held his cold wrist with both hands.

“Why are you here?” Sergeant Barnes seethed, rage swimming in his crystal blue eyes. You gasped a breath into your lungs, trying to form words.

“I came to help you,” you coughed out. “To fix what I did to you.” He looked at Rogers, and the Captain nodded slightly. The metal hand loosed its grip and retracted, dropping you onto the floor. Your knees weren’t ready for the impact, and gave out, sending your body crumbling to the cold tile of the lab.

You keeled over onto your hands and weak knees, heaving air and panting. No one did anything while you collected yourself and rose to your feet again.

“How?” Sergeant Barnes demanded, towering over you in an intimidating manner.

“I set a deprogram mechanism in your mind,” you answered, daring to look into his face. “If I activate it, your mind will erase everything I did to you. Sort of like a cognitive recalibration.”

Barnes stepped back, his eyes scanning your body. You should flinch, you should walk away, but you don’t.

“Why do it now? Why not do it when we were in Siberia?” he asked. You sighed. So he did remember the last time you poked around in his head. And now you knew your excuse was never going to make anything better.

“I’m not going to talk about this now. Do you want me to wipe the program or not?” you said stiffly. All of the men in the room became tense, even the king.

You stared at Barnes, taking in his every detail. His body was built the same as it was when you were dragged into the dark pit that was Hydra. His hair wasn’t as long as it is now, but it’s still the same color, the same texture. You remember having to pull his hair out of the way to get into his brain. You could bet that it was soft, despite the slight grease buildup from being under. His facial features were the same: the strong jawline and the straight nose and the creases that start at the corners of his nostrils and end at the corners of his mouth.

Oh god, his mouth. As soon as you looked at it, you could hear the cries that had been pulled from it. Every single scream rang through your head in a medley, combining and fading into the next and going back to another. You wanted to wail with it as it broke down the wall you put up in your mind to try to forget those shouts of agony.

You could feel your face tense and relax all at once, your lip shaking slightly and your eyes starting to water. Instinctively, you tore your eyes away from your success and walked back to your seat, swallowing the feeling that flooded your entire being.

“How do we know you won’t kill him?” Rogers questioned. “How can we trust you enough to let you do this?” You looked up at him, certain that regret swam in your eyes.

“Trust my guilt. Trust that I didn’t want to do this seventy years ago. Trust that I was forced to do this. And that I want to fix this.”

He almost gave you a look of sympathy. Almost. You found somewhere else to look, the floor. Where your boots met the polished tile was rather interesting to look at instead of the men that want to kill you or the man you ruined.

“Do it. Fix it,” Barnes spoke up, startling you. His voice was full of conviction, and confidence, and hope. Hope so strong that you looked up at him in pure shock.

So many questions raced through your head, so many thoughts of disbelief. You willed yourself not to gape at him.

Rogers walked closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder and talking quietly to him, like he was about to make the worst mistake ever. You couldn't hear Captain Rogers’s words, no matter how hard you tried to listen in.

Barnes rolled his eyes, his whole face moving with them as his mouth hung open slightly in disagreement.

“Steve… C’mon Steve, the doctors have been searching for months for a cure. We can't afford to pass up an opportunity like this.” You could understand enough of what Captain Rogers was saying without hearing his words. He wasn't letting you anywhere near Barnes. You could tell by how he glared back at you every couple of seconds, how his shoulders were tense and how his arm was ready to pull his friend away from you or push you back from him.

You understood his protective behavior. And stayed in your seat, waiting. The two argued for a few more minutes.

“No,” Rogers said louder, for you and everyone else in the room to hear. “No. You're not going to let her get into your head again. I'm not gonna let that happen.” You sighed softly, standing up and walking towards the door. All of the men were put on alert when you moved, and you noticed Wilson reach for something on a table.

“I'll take my leave then,” you announced, reaching for the door.

“Ms. Y/N?” King T’Challa called after you, following you into the hall. You stopped at the corner and turned to him. “Tell me the cure. Tell me how to fix his mind. I'll have my best doctor perform the procedure.”

“I'm afraid that can't happen, Your Majesty. The procedure is too complex, too delicate. One millimeter off in one direction, Barnes becomes a vegetable. The other direction, he dies,” you explain. The king nods upwards, pursing his lips.

“I will talk to Captain Rogers, to see if he is willing to negotiate terms on the cure. But until I do, please stay in Wakanda. Your knowledge in psychology would be beneficial to my team to find another cure.”

You nodded, before bowing and walking the other direction. King T’Challa entered the lab again as you left him, not wasting any time.

Tags: @bucky-with-the-metal-arm @aboxinthestars @killer-stiles @howdoesoneadult @bovaria @buckysberrie @i-dont-know-how-to-write @winchester-with-wings (Please let me know here if you want to be added or taken off my tag list.)

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #sam wilson #t'challa #mcu #mcu fic #steve rogers fic #bucky barnes fic #sam wilson fic #t'challa fic #mcu reader insert #trigger series by dd

[oldscarredlove]

AfterGone - Part 1/3

The Origins of AG

Error > @loverofpiggies (tag ain’t working) Swap!Sans > @(can’t remember)

After all this time I still remember what it was like when the human came here to the Underground, the prison of the monsters hidden deep in Mount. Ebott, I’ve lost all sense of time here, when you’re alone you kind of lose all your senses and sanity. Looking over to the other side of Snowdin river, the fields of wooden crosses and blocks of stone, I mesmerized how this all happened… — It is said that the human had fallen into the Underground from the surface landing onto a pile of golden flowers, making them sound like some kind of angel that fallen from the Heavens with golden wings. They were the most innocent thing down here, their smiles and laughs were all it took for the monsters to be befriended and give them their trust.

Right to the very end. No one ever got to see the light of the surface, every single monster that came face to face with the human ultimately ended up being left as a pile of dust. I made sure to never even be within range of the human’s toy knife, being the only one to see their true self.

The human may have fallen as if an angel had been sent to us… But no one ever questioned why the angel had fallen, it was because it was a monster, even more so than ourselves. — Haunting laughter filled the golden corridor, the light of the barrier shining through the windows were blinding my eye-sockets but I’d much prefer look at something that wasn’t the human in front of me. Their cheeks were rosy and their smile was just as it always was but with a more twisted and darker reason other than befriending.

Their yellow shirt was no longer tucked from their brown trousers, the black suspenders hanging loosely on either sides of their legs and their dark shoes powdered with the dust of the slain. Their knife had lost its shine during the journey here, it was pointed at me for the fifth time and I could feel my soul ache in a familiar pain.

“Here again, huh Sans?” Questioned the demon-child, “I wonder how many times we’ll dance like this.” They giggled manically and their soulless eyes looked at me from under their messy fringe.

“The real question is…” I felt my left eye glow before I opened my eyes again, staring into the soul which should have never existed. “Why aren’t you burning in Hell like you should be?” —RESET— Something was different, something has changed and I have no idea what and whatever it was, it was making my bones rattle, it crawled up my spine the entire day, I just couldn’t focus on anything.

It took longer than usual to leave the house, I was heading toward the Waterfall post when it happened, hearing the slice before the bang. I hid in the shadows of the Snowdin woods as I watched Papyrus, my beloved sister, crumble into nothing but ashes, Chara practically skipping away whilst humming a strange tune.

When the human vanished, I came out and wobbled toward the blood-coloured scarf on the ground, hesitating when I reached out for it. “P-Papyrus…? S-Sister…?” I fell onto my knees, burying my face into it and felt myself shiver, feeling the true cold of the situation for the first time.

I was never there to see my sister turn to dust, mainly because I knew I’d lose my mind, I could feel it crack, splitting in half and my eye-socket burning with hatred. “I shall make sure…” I looked up from my spot on the snow, “they burn in the flames of Hell.” — The scarf was wrapped around my neck when I next faced the human, after blasting them with my little pets, they collapsed onto the ground and were silent for a full minute. Then they started to boom with laughter, I could hear them struggling to breathe and see the tears fall onto the floor. They looked up to me with that scary face and had an expression of someone who’s had an awful idea.

“Hahahaha! Why- Why didn’t I think about this before?!” They started to howl again and I could feel their sins surrounding me, it was almost enough to choke me.

“What is it, kid? You’re kinda creeping me out here.” I scowled at their attempt of getting up and falling down again.

“Join me!” I froze in place. “Join me in the next run! Let’s kill everyone! They’ll never-”

“No.” It was all I could say, they’d managed to make me lose my ability to speak, ‘no’ was the only word I could formulate.

“Listen to me, Sans!” They stood up and spread their arms toward me.” They’ll never have to know! I can just reset the timeline and they’ll all just forget, only we will remember!” They held out their disarmed hand. “Join me Sans, it’d be so interesting to see if you’d be able to kill your own-”

Looks like I’m ganna have’ta use my special attack early. —RESET— “Oh! Good morning Sans! You’re up unusually early today!” Papyrus was grinning like a fool as usual, I starred at her in-tents-ly, trying to burn this image of her into my skull. Her heroic cape-like scarf, her shining ‘battle body’, her happy face, looking at me like I was a saint.

How wrong she was, it was almost enough to break me entirely, she was always seeing the good in everything whilst I was her polar opposite. She was the saint, always trying to save those I would’ve discarded without a second thought, being honest and soft forever and always.

“Heh, yeah…” I looked away, ashamed. “Hey sis… I kinda forgot… What would you do if you became the Head of the Royal Guard?”

She looked at me with an expression of bewilderment, amazed I’d forgotten when she’s spoken of it a million times. In truth, I wanted her to picture her happiest day before it all came to an end. As she turned away from me and explained everything with joy, I materialized my claw and sliced at her, making sure to go through the soul to ensure she didn’t feel any pain.

I didn’t want her to even see the human or myself, before she even started to crumble I broke apart, I let the claw fade off and knelt onto the floor, disgusted with myself for what this timeline has in store. After several minutes, I got up, my body rattling loudly, I had no words to say to her, what could I say? “I’m Sorry…” — I was sitting inside Grillby’s when the human came, I heard the door open and footsteps come closer to me, they stopped and were followed by a giggle. “No one’s here, huh?” I said nothing. “Where’d they all go? Did you warn them? Because if you did I can just reset an-”

“I killed everyone.” It was silent for a whole two minutes then booming laughter filled the diner.

“WOW! So you’re going to join me?!” I nodded, they cheered. “This’ll be fun! I can’t wait to see how this goes, par’ner!” I wasn’t so sure. — By the time we reached the Queen’s throne room and that flower-thing were reduced to nothing, we went into the room that was before the barrier, the human was still grinning like a clown with their cheeks the same red as Papyrus’ scarf.

“Now that, Sans, was what I called a good time!” They winked at me like I should agree, but all I felt were the sins crawling up my back.

“It’s the end now kid, we had an agreement: When this was all done with, you’d make sure no one ever knew about this…” I stared at them with hatred, feeling my soul pulsing in agony.

They tapped their knife against their forehead, as if they’d forgotten something. “Oh right!” I was hoping they’d stab them-self in the head. “Ok then, a deal’s a deal.” They steadied their knife. “Goodbye Sans.”

Zoooom….BANG.

My eye-sockets widened and I could feel my jaw drop (not literally), I stared in horror and what’d just happened. The dark grey floor was suddenly covered in red and a choked chuckle rang through the room.

“There… The deal’s done.” And with those dying words, they collapsed onto the ground and time froze. In the monster’s place was a human in different colours, their face was pale and their magenta shirt was stained with blood and their blue trousers and brown boots were dusty.

Staring at this other human, I realized that I’d made a deal with the literal Devil, turning my own words against me. I zipped to the human and started to shake the human around brutally, screaming and sobbing at them to RESET, they always did, why was this any different from the other times they’d died?

My thoughts already pieced the answer together, it was because Chara had killed this human ever since they first possessed them, stealing and destroying a little piece of their soul for every second they were inside them. I started to get slow and my voice was becoming a whisper.

“Please… Bring them back…” — Whilst heading back, I picked a bunch of flowers, gold and blue, and covered each with the dust with a single monster. When I got back to Snowdin, I summoned my claw and made each flower a hole, buring them and placing a wooden cross I’d made from fallen branches in the nearby forest at the head of the grave.

When it came to those I cared for especially, I made them a tombstone, carving their names and a small message into the rock. The last two were Papyrus and the human, although I had never met this human child before, it felt like we could’ve been pals in another lifetime.

When Papyrus’ grave was done, I wrapped her scarf around her tombstone and stood up, looking around at my handy work. My hoodie was torn and tattered, itchy from all the dust it’d collected during the run, I went inside and headed to my room, throwing all the clothes I was wearing into the trash.

When I came outside again in my new clothing, I noticed that time had literally stopped, I guess without the human, there was nothing else to proceed… My head tilted down and I climbed onto the roof, feeling nothing but shame, vengeance and disgust. I felt sick to my non-existing stomach and felt like the ghost of Papyrus behind me, watching my every move in anger and betrayal. — I started to cry out of nowhere, I’d looked at the window of the living room and noticed I’d become skinnier and had actually grown at some point. Ever since… I haven’ had much to eat, resources were becoming scarce and I’ve now had to start living off of plants, forcing myself to become a vegan.

It could’ve been because I’d grown and believed that time was starting again, only to have my hope crushed when I’d stared at a clock for what seemed like an hour. Or it could’ve been that I’d glanced at the calendar that was next to the door and saw that (for me) it has been over a year since then.

Whenever I slept and woke up, I’d count that as a day. I hardly got sleep anymore, resulting with bangs under my eyes somehow and becoming an insomniac. I always got nightmares of Papyrus, staring at me in hatred with marks on her body from when I’d sliced her but dripping with her blood.

I left the house from feeling claustrophobic and jumped onto the roof and sat down on its peek, resting my skull into between my knees. The new clothes I’d made shortly after finishing the graveyard hung loosely to me, during my growth I’ve had to alter them to make sure they were bigger than myself, to be sure I was prepared for any more unexpected growth spurts.

Silence has been the only thing I’ve heard now, other than the imaginary voices of the other monsters before they were massacred, so after a few minutes of self-loathing, you could imagine my shock when I heard a glitch rip and a confused voice ask:

“What’s this place, Error?”