#Tony Stark as the villains' Favorite™

[tonystarktogo]

Tony Stark + rumors = utter madness2 * π or something

It’s crazy!” Brock lets out a long-suffering sigh. “You can’t hire anyone these days without having them ask you all about Stark, whether he’s really a villain and if maybe that makes it alright that their kids look up to the guy so much, and if I can tell them anything about his plans once he deems the world ready to acknowledge his absolute reign.”

He clonks his head against the table, much to the amusement of his audience.

“Underlings,” Victor van Doom mutters derisively. “This is why Doom does not trust humans but robots.”

“Sure,” Deadpool smirks -- well, technically nobody can tell, what with the mask and all, but really, with that tone of voice it’s impossible for him not to be smirking -- ”Because Stark is just so terrible at dealing with robots. Guy isn’t just a hot piece of ass, y’know?”

Doom doesn’t deign that with a response which leads Brock to suspect he doesn’t have one. 

“Hey, Loki?” Brock frowns down at the cards in his hands. Poker is still fun, but ever since they started what one of Loki’s minions insisted on naming ‘Fantasy Avenging’ it’s just not as fun anymore. “What with all that god of lies and mischief shit, couldn’t you figure out if Stark really is a hero? Like, smell if he’s lying or something?”

Loki smirks, a sure sign that Brock is about to be mocked. “Deceit is indeed a language I have long since mastered,” he twists his hand in a careless gesture that, looking back, Brock is sure means the bastard cheated because fucking magic, “yet you seem to forget that the knowledge all the lies in the world does not grant you insight into the truth beneath.”

“So, in other words, you’ve got nothing.”

That at least earns him a cool glare. “I should like to smite you where you stand, mortal, where it not for the occasional entertainment your foolish bumbling provides.”

“I’m sitting,” Brock deadpans.

“Brock and Loki, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-” Deadpool coos, then suddenly breaks off, which Brock interprets as him wanting to bring the conversation back on track--which proves just he is just as interested in the matter of Stark as the rest of them. Unsurprisingly. These days you’d be hard-pressed to find a villain who isn’t interested in Stark.

“Doom would not expect the Man of Iron to have the heart to be of traitorous nature.” Doom licks his lip thoughtfully and folds.

“Good point,” Brock acknowledges. “But can you imagine if it were true?”

That gains him the undivided attention of his fellow players in an instant.

“I’m just saying.” He shrugs. “It would be...almost impossible to pull off, but tactically speaking it’s not a bad plan. Take them down from the inside out instead of attacking outright. It’s what HYDRA did after WWII. Hiding themselves inside SHIELD until they were strong enough to strike...” he trails off, realising that what he almost said out loud were the words ‘if anyone’s gonna pull it off it’d be Stark’. 

“Well shit.”

They are so fucked.

Deadpool gives him the fingerguns.

#ReRe writes #so I discovered this in my old drafts #i have no memory of writing it or where i was going with this but... i like #i like very much #Tony Stark as the villains' Favorite™ #Tony and his villains #Brock Rumlow #Loki #Deadpool #who is not a villain (he insists) and they all pretend like they believe him #Victor Van Doom #just a couple of supervillains gossiping and making fun of each other #MCU #drabble #crack

[sheryl-lee]

MCU for that fandom ask thingy!!!

thanks! <3

the first character i ever fell in love with: the first mcu movie i ever saw was the avengers when it first released, and i’ve loved tony stark ever since!

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: hmmm i guess bruce? not that i Hate him or anything but the only movies where i actually liked him were the avengers and ragnarok, other than that i had no particular feelings about him. his character really changes very drastically from movie to movie and since he doesn’t get a solo movie, i don’t think they know what they want to do with bruce as a character.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: steve x peggy i guess? not that i ever shipped them hardcore but after the first cap movie i kinda lost interest in them. steve’s arc in endgame really made me dislike the pairing honestly.

my ultimate favorite character™: tony!

prettiest character: lizzie olsen is absolutely gorgeous, so wanda is def up there! but also carol and nat

my most hated character: odin i guess? he really is such a shitty father lmao plus most of the villains for obvious reasons

my OTP: i always kinda hoped steve and nat would get together but i do still like them as friends! also pepper x tony 

my NOTP: n/a

favorite episode movie: captain america: the winter soldier and thor: ragnarok

saddest death: tony! and nat :/ also quicksilver 

favorite season phase: phase three is superior so far😌most of my favorite movies were part of that phase, plus the diversity and cinematography really improved there 

least favorite season phase: i guess phase one? the movies themselves were either great or decent-ish and it was a lot of worldbuilding. not that it’s horrible but i just prefer the other two phases to the first one

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: again, not that i hate any of the main/loved characters but i really don’t understand people’s obsession with clint? idk he’s just a basic white boy with Zero personality and he’s played by j*remy r*nner of all people like we can do better you guys

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: loki one hundred percent

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: steve, wanda and thor! they’ve really suffered so much😔

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: n/a because i am not weird like some of you on here

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: gamora x peter quill

send me a fandom!!!

#ask game #💌 answered 💌

[aurumacadicus]

Hi! I saw the Tony Stark being the unofficial Villains’ Favourite™ post by tonystarktogo and your additions to it, and it was wonderful! It got me thinking. What if Tony is the favorite of other superheroes too, like not Avengers-superheroes. Like Clark Kent meets Tony at some gala he's reporting on and sees him being super charming and sweet to little kids (charity ball for some children's fund! STEM is for girls or something) and just falls so hard! Like...Lois! Lois, we need to have a 3some!

pt 2 L: okay? with who? C: Tony Stark! He’s so cute and small! L: Yes, let’s do it! So they woo him & have awesome threesome sex & when bias reporter talk about Tony from then on, they get eviscerated by Lois or Clark in a in depth report on corruption in journalism or something. Just Tony interacting with DC superheroes (from the tv shows only, besides the WW movie) & they all love him! Like put Barry Allen, Kara Danvers, & Tony in a room together to nerd out & everyone would melt from adorable

Okay but consider this: This is the ask that killed me because IT’S TOO PRECIOUS CLARK AND LOIS WOULD TAKE SUCH GOOD CARE OF HIM and then of course Clark wants to introduce him to Bruce but Tony already knows Bruce. “Is your city still basically film noir????” “How’s your monument to your penis after the Battle of New York????” Lois and Clark think they don’t like each other but they actually do they just show it by ribbing each other.

Bonus:

Superman: And this is Batman.

Batman:

Tony: No, honey, you’re wrong.

Batman: *sweats*

Superman: ???

Tony: He’s The Batman! :D

Superman: Haha you’re so clever honey. The Batman, are you okay?

Batman: 

Tony: I know it’s you Bruce.

Batman: I fucking knew it.

(Bonus Bonus: Diana loves him. She sees the video of him taking the nuke through the wormhole and sees a lot of Steve in him.

Also one time they were walking and they saw a baby dressed in a little Wonder Woman onesie and they both punched Clark to get his attention and shouted, “Look at the baby!” and Clark sends Lois a snapchat like “I was just in a punching sandwich and they don’t even care” and it’s a video of Tony and Diana cooing over this adorable baby.)

#aurumacadicus answers #anon #tony stark #the world doesn't deserve tony stark #anonymous

[tonystarktogo]

Tony Stark and the Villain Association: let’s talk. we got ALL of these respectable villains and of course, they’re having a meeting (or its poker night) and then Thanos walks in with the best non poisonous to humans and gods liquor across the galaxy and 2 tons of gold and a carefully detailed plan of protecting Tony Stark. He focuses more on the outwardly enemies and lends his “children” as bodyguards. Nebula and Gamora are so confused on why he tracked them down and made them babysit a genius

Listen, I'm all here for Villainous Poker Nights but I'm even more here for Nebula and Gamora as Tony's reluctant, confused-by-humanity-in-general-and-this-job-in-particular bodyguards. Who only come with one threat response setting: Ob-Fucking-Literate This Worm™.

(Obviously, they are competitive as hell. Like, most of the property destruction is actually not because of any threat to Tony but because they fight each other after they've eliminated the perceived threat.

Nebula especially hates when Gamora shows her up. Gamora doesn't consider it "showing up" -- if Nebula's reacting that slowly then clearly she isn't interested in her prey, right?)

(It's hands-down the most violent version of sibling teasing Tony has ever witnessed. He's a bit terrified. For Earth.)

Now, with Tony's new, awesome, alien -- not to mention deadly -- bodyguards, the few remaining kidnapping and murder attempts tamper off fast.

The real problem starts when Pepper stops by to lecture Tony about blowing off yet another meeting because during her rant she mentions that maybe he wouldn't keep forget important dates if he'd sleep for a reasonable amount of time.

Now that by itself wouldn't have been so bad. If Nebula hadn't heard it. And hadn't been bored out of her mind.

Bored enough to realize that, actually, she has no fucking idea what Earthlings need and what sort of limits they have. Bored enough to decide to find out.

(Listen, it's all in good fun when she bodily drags Tony out of his workshop because he needs a minimum of seven hours of sleep and she hasn't fully processed the concept of 'boundaries' yet.

It's another thing entirely when she drop-kicks a SHIELD agent out of the window. Not because they've tried to hack JARVIS either, nope. Because they were going to disturb Tony's sleep-schedule.

(For an unimportant, little global crises too. Not even a universal one, can you believe it?!)

Gamora went and took care of it instead. Needless to say, neither SHIELD nor the rest of the world were happy about it.

What a bunch of crybabies.

Next time, Nebula's gonna go do it herself and maybe that will shut them up. And hey, if it doesn't, she can always kill that stupid World Security Council too.

(The fact that she announces said plan out loud during a shared meeting with SHIELD and a representative of the World Security Council is concerning. What concerns SHIELD even more is that Tony doesn't appear all that concerned.)

On a related note: JARVIS likes Nebula and Gamora. For Tony, that's more than good enough.

#ReRe answers #Anonymous #Tony Stark is the Villains' Favorite™ #Tony Stark and his villains #Nebula #Gamora #Tony Stark #Nebula did not sign up for this #Gamora signed up for this even less #Tony is confused but willing to roll with it #as long as he gets to take a look at Nebula's cybernetic limbs #spoiler: he does not get to look at Nebula's limbs #(but she only almost guts him for asking so that's progress!) #drabble #crack #ReRe writes