Tumgik
About
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Visit Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Fun Fact
In February 2021, Tumblr had 518.6 million blog accounts.
#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a
opens-up-4-nobody
·
30 days
Text
...
#sorry im thinking abt death again
#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died
#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from
#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed
#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she
#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way
#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today
#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days
#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt
#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her
#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that
#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.
#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless
#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club
#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her
#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i
#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my
#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters
#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.
#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.
#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a
#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length
#unrelated
13 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
rirururu
Rirururu
brzydkaprawda-blog1
brzydka prawda.
spirker
Ye Olde Fangirl
huopa
sweet dreamer
ovaruling