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im-no-jedi · 2 years

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MLWTBB: First Time For Everything

aka the (continued) journey into my self insert nonsense✨

chapter summary: it’s finally time for Hannah and Hunter’s first date, but neither of them seem to have any idea of what to do...

notes: this is a continuation of my story, “My Life With The Bad Batch”; I highly recommend reading that first before this one! I created a few new planets for this story. I’m also not 100% versed in SW terminology, so forgive me if some things are labeled incorrectly! each chapter will be rated accordingly, as opposed to the overall fic. lastly, there is romance in this story. hope you enjoy! 💙

add. notes: this chapter was edited and proofread by my sis @jam-n-ham! thanks sis!! 😋💙 also sorry for the long delay in updates; life happened, you know how it is 😅

Chapter 16, 3000+ words, rated G (as to be expected, just more awkward romance stuff 😆)

previous chapters: Prologue - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15

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✨MLWTBB masterlist✨

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The sun was set. Several of the streets were now laden in complete darkness, but much of the city was still lit by neon lights and torches that lined the various buildings of Ord Mantell. Few folks dared to walk the streets past sunset, but the brave souls who did always did so with a purpose. And that’s exactly what Hunter was about to do.

He’d been waiting at the bottom of the stairs to Hannah’s apartment for a little while, now changed into his civilian clothes at Hannah’s request, all the time pacing and anxiously drumming his fingers on his own crossed arms. Normally, in tense situations, he could easily remain calm and collected. The others often looked to him as a stable pillar, unfazed by pretty much anything. But ever since Hannah had come into their lives, Hunter could feel his foundations beginning to crack in ways he’d never experienced before. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it still shook him enough that he questioned it.

When it came to warfare, Hunter knew all the angles. But he knew absolutely nothing about things like domesticity or... going on a date.

Wow. He hadn’t even really thought about it before. He was actually going on a date. And it was with Hannah.

It suddenly started to make sense why he was going so crazy all the time. Because he was crazy. Crazy about her, that is.

Too bad Crosshair isn’t here to see this, he smugly thought to himself.

Footsteps coming down the stairs suddenly caught Hunter’s attention, and his heart jumped. He could recognize the footfalls a mile away. The smell of Hannah’s soap pleasantly hit his nostrils and caused him to break out into an elated smile. He watched as she stepped into view in front of him, now sporting her signature black shirt, green jacket, and gray neck wrap. She even had her beloved yellow bag with her again. As lovely as the dress she’d worn to Hosnian Prime was, this was the Hannah he knew best.

“Hope you weren’t waiting too long,” Hannah said, coming up to Hunter with her hands tightly clasped on the strap of her bag. It was way too reminiscent of how she looked during their first few days together, and the smile on Hunter’s face widened.

“Not at all. Any wait would be worth it either way.”

Hannah let out a flustered chuckle. “Already starting off with the mushiness, I see.”

“Was it really that mushy though?” Hunter questioned as he raised an eyebrow.

“For you, anything other than that scowl of yours is mushy to me.” Hannah playfully punched Hunter in the arm and snickered.

“So,” Hunter started with a sigh. “What uhh, did ya have in mind for tonight?”

Hannah’s eyes suddenly went a bit wide. “Right, I was supposed to pick what we’re doing, right...” She seemed to get lost in thought for a bit, which made Hunter chuckle. “Honestly, I don’t really care, I’m fine with whatever!” She threw her hands in the air and laughed, cracking a wide smile as she did so.

“That’s great, but not really helpful,” Hunter replied with a laugh of his own.

“I know, I’m sorry... I’m not...” Hannah sighed in exasperation. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve... never done anything like this before.” She began wringing her hands together nervously and couldn’t even look Hunter in the face anymore.

Hunter watched her for a moment in silence. He felt bad that she was so nervous, but he completely understood. “Me neither.”

Hannah’s brows furrowed a bit and she looked up at him again. “Really?”

“Is that so hard to believe? Ya don’t really get a lotta chances to go out with people when you’re in war.”

“I guess so,” Hannah responded with a nod.

“If anything,” Hunter continued. “I’m surprised you haven’t done this before. You’ve lived a lot longer than I have, and... well...” He trailed off a bit and cleared his throat. “I dunno, just seems like someone would’ve asked you by now, is all.”

A fake smile grew on Hannah’s face and she shook her head. “Nope. Not once. Never even had a guy tell me he liked me before.”

Hearing that, Hunter actually got upset. How could anyone not see how great of a person Hannah was? His signature scowl briefly appeared on his face before he let out a scoff. “Well, lucky me then. Their loss.”

Slight redness began to show on Hannah’s cheeks, and she broke out into a flattered smile. Clearly, she wasn’t used to being given this kind of treatment, and Hunter was now more determined than ever to give her an evening she deserved.

“C’mon,” Hunter said, beckoning Hannah to follow him. “We’ll figure somethin’ out.”

Without hesitation, Hannah came up beside Hunter, practically flush with his shoulder, and walked at his side as they began to head towards the market together. The date had officially begun.

***************************

Heading to the market together wasn’t a new experience for Hannah and Hunter. During Hannah’s earlier days on Ord Mantell, one or more of the boys would accompany her to the market so she’d feel more comfortable. Hunter was often the one who ended up going with her, usually with Omega tagging along as well. But those times were different. They’d always gone with a goal in mind, for the purpose of things like shopping or just getting to know the place better.

Tonight, their sole purpose for going to the market was simply to be together.

A good portion of their time after leaving Hannah’s apartment was spent in silence, like their times together were prone to be. It wasn’t so much that they didn’t know what to say, but more that they didn’t need to say anything. Both of them enjoyed each other’s company so much that it almost felt like words might ruin the moment somehow. And considering what had happened on Hosnian Prime, it was no surprise they stayed silent with each other for a while.

However, the silence couldn’t last forever, and eventually Hannah was the one to finally break it with one of her signature giggles.

“What’s so funny?” Hunter asked, giving her a curious look.

“Well,” Hannah began. “It’s just... ironic.”

“What is?”

Hannah let out a wistful sigh. “What we’re doing. Going out like this together.”

Hunter looked confused, which made Hannah giggle again.

“The first time you and I were ever alone together was something just like this, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” Hunter said, finally realizing what she was talking about. “Although, I don’t think we wanna go looking for cables this time. Or festival games. And definitely no fancy restaurants.”

Hannah threw her head back with a laugh. “Hey, the Prism Palace wasn’t bad. It was just Irridas who was bad. And I’d still take him over Vin any day.”

Hunter’s face turned down into a disgusted scowl. “I’d rather have neither of ‘em.”

Another laugh from Hannah. A shopkeeper at one of the stalls they passed called out to them, asking to try one of their products, but Hannah politely turned them down.

“It wasn’t all bad on Volruna, you know,” she said, running her hand across the strap of her bag.

“No, of course not,” Hunter responded, shaking his head. “I wasn’t tryin’ to say that at all. There were plenty of good things that happened that day.” His eyes drifted down, taking note of the small space separating them. “I can think of one thing for sure that we could recreate right now too.”

“Oh?” Hannah raised an eyebrow and looked at him curiously. Then she felt her breath get caught in her throat as Hunter reached down and took her by the hand. The warm smile that ran across his face made her heart flutter, and she looked away for a moment to hide how flustered she was.

Now hand in hand, the two of them continued their stroll through the market in shared silence again. It wasn’t terribly busy at that time, and several of the stalls had already closed for the night. Compared to Volruna, it was a much different experience, and Hannah especially chose to not compare it any longer. She wanted to enjoy their time as much as possible, without just trying to recreate that first experience again.

This time, the silence was broken by Hunter letting out a small chuckle.

“What?” Hannah asked with a chuckle of her own.

“Nuthin’, I just...” Hunter let out a small sigh. “I can’t believe you got me thinkin’ about Volruna again.”

“Oh, is that bad?”

“No, not at all. I mean, I’ve thought about it plenty of times before.”

Hannah’s eyes went wide. “O-Oh really?”

“Well yeah, why wouldn’t I? It was...” Hunter looked down at Hannah a bit sheepishly. “A lot happened that day, ya know? And like you said, it wasn’t all bad. I try to not think of the bad stuff, if I can help it.”

This was the first instance of Hannah hearing Hunter even mention that day on Volruna to her. She wanted to blurt out how often she thought of that day, how special it was to her, how much she wished certain things would’ve happened... but she held back and let Hunter continue.

“Bein’ out here like this with you... it feels like it, in a way.” Hunter scratched the top of his head in contemplation. “There’s a word for that, when you get reminded of something that happened in the past...”

“Oh, nostalgia?”

“Yeah, that’s it. I know it’s only been a couple months so, I dunno, feels weird feeling that way about somethin’ that didn’t happen that long ago.” A small smirk grew on his face and he looked down at Hannah again. “Not that I’m complaining, of course.”

“Of course,” Hannah replied with a small smirk of her own.

Before either of them could say anything else, another voice called out to them from one of the stalls. Except this time, Hannah recognized the voice. “Well, look who it is! Out a bit late tonight, aren’t you two?”

“You’re one to talk, Mrs Ygreu!” Hannah exclaimed, dragging Hunter over to the stall with her. “Aren’t you normally closed by now?”

“Normally, yes,” the old woman replied. “But I decided to stay open a bit later tonight so I could try and sell off the rest of these Corellian apples before they go bad.”

“Now where’d you get Corellian apples from, huh?” Hunter cheekily asked.

Mrs Ygreu let out a hardy laugh. “Oh, I’ve got all sorts of connections, my boy. But enough about me...” She eagerly leaned against her own hands on the stall and looked between the other two. “I haven’t gotten an answer to my question yet.”

Hannah snickered and leaned in closer to her, whispering behind her own hand, “We’re on a date.”

Immediately, Mrs Ygreu’s eyes bugged out. It looked like she’d just been handed a million credits. “Ohoho! Is that so?”

Hannah happily nodded, while Hunter just smiled awkwardly.

“Well, in that case...” Mrs Ygreu suddenly ducked under the stall. Rummaging noises could be heard before she suddenly popped back up again, surprisingly fast considering her age. A bag full of apples was plopped on the counter. “I insist you take the rest of these with you. And don’t you dare try to talk me out of it. They’re going to go bad soon anyway, like I said.”

Hunter looked like he wanted to object, but Hannah knew better and gingerly thanked Mrs Ygreu for being so sweet. The old woman pulled her in a bit closer and told her she could properly thank her by not letting that handsome man get away from her, earning a flustered giggle from Hannah. Even though he could hear the whole exchange, Hunter pretended he was oblivious and awkwardly cleared his throat, turning away to give them privacy.

Now with a bag of apples in tow, Hannah and Hunter bid Mrs Ygreu a good night, while she in turn wished them a happy and fruitful date. The old woman laughed at her own joke, and Hannah joined in, going into an absolute fit of laughter. Hunter was far less amused and simply let out a long sigh while pinching the bridge of his nose.

The apple bag was actually small enough to fit inside of Hannah’s personal bag, which made it easier to carry. Since she no longer kept all of her personal belongings in it, the bag had even more room than before. Hunter joked that it made no difference seeing as her bag could magically hold whatever it wanted, even before she’d emptied it. With a snicker, Hannah tossed one of the apples to him, then pulled out one for herself.

“Well, they’re no sugar sticks,” Hunter said after taking a bite of his apple. “But these are pretty good too.”

Hannah nodded in agreement, licking the juice from her lips. “Man, wouldn’t these be so good with the sugar sticks though?”

“Heh, you read my mind, Solar Flare.”

Hannah went into a fit of giggles, covering her mouth to keep pieces of apple from spewing out. The nickname he’d given her still tickled her immensely.

By the time they’d both finished their apples, most of the other stalls were starting to close. It was looking like there were less and less options for them to do anything else besides walk around. Not that they minded, of course. Both of them were still simply enjoying just being together.

Ideally, it would’ve been just the two of them. Very rarely did they ever get moments alone, and when they did, it usually wasn’t for long. Hannah was almost regretting inviting the others to her apartment for the night.

Suddenly, Hannah was stopped by Hunter. “What, what is it?” she asked.

“Ugh, might be trouble ahead,” Hunter replied, and he gestured ahead.

Hannah saw that the way forward was a bit shadier than what they’d encountered thus far. There also appeared to be several individuals lingering in the darkness. Some of them had speeder bikes to boot. Instinctually, Hannah stepped a bit closer to Hunter and tightened her grip on his hand. “Who are they?” she asked in a more hushed tone than before.

“Some local gang,” Hunter replied. “I’ve... run into them before.”

Hannah sighed. “Why am I not surprised?”

“They’re not the kind to pick a fight randomly, but... they’d probably recognize me.”

“Should we just go back then?”

“Probably wouldn’t make a difference. Some of ‘em might be roamin’ around in general now.”

“Sooooo, what do we do then?”

Hunter exhaled sharply through his nose and went into his usual thinking pose, clutching a hand to his chin. Hannah repressed a giggle and began scouring the area to see if they were being watched. It seemed like they hadn’t been noticed yet, thankfully.

Then an idea came to her mind. “You’re sure they’d recognize you?”

“They’d recognize my face, at the least,” Hunter replied.

“Oh, well in that case...” With a readjustment of her bag, Hannah began removing her neck wrap. She shook it out a bit once it was off, then practically threw it over Hunter’s head. He didn’t budge once as she adjusted it. The neck wrap was large enough to cover his entire head, like a makeshift hood, and she made sure none of his hair was sticking out. She also gathered up some of it to attach around his ears so his nose and mouth would be covered. By the time she was done, the only thing visible on Hunter’s head was his eyes; the rest being just a gathering of gray fabric.

“You think this’ll work?” Hunter asked, his voice slightly muffled from the fabric.

“Unless these guys can recognize you by the eyes!” Hannah chuckled.

Hunter was still wary about approaching them at all, but Hannah reassured him, saying they would be fine. They’d taken on enemies way worse than those guys before, and plus... she snickered a bit and reached into her bag, revealing her blaster with a cheeky grin.

To say Hunter was shocked was an understatement. “I can’t believe you brought ol’ Vinny on our date.”

Hannah could barely conceal her laughter after that.

Still hand in hand, the two of them made their way past the bike gang, not giving them any attention whatsoever. Hunter remained as casual as he could, while Hannah decided to take a more confident approach. She refused to be intimidated by those hooligans and kept her head held high, taking a page out of Madame Eldya’s book. Only a couple of the gang members even acknowledged their presence, but didn’t give them more than a passing glance.

Once they were well past the gang, both Hannah and Hunter let out sighs of relief. “Told ya the scarf would work!” Hannah exclaimed.

“Never doubted you for a second,” Hunter replied, pulling the fabric off of his face. He left the rest of it on his head, rather liking the makeshift hood Hannah had given him. Also, he wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was thoroughly enjoying having Hannah’s scent on him now.

Now that that problem was dealt with, they could focus on their original problem of not knowing what to do. Except now they had the added issue of needing to avoid the bike gang too. Hunter said they probably wouldn’t be there for much longer, but it was gonna be difficult even getting back to Hannah’s apartment until they were gone.

Once again, Hannah was the one to get an idea and a grin spread across her face. “I think I might know a place we can hang out at for a bit.”

Before Hunter could even question what it was, Hannah was already leading him down the street with surprising enthusiasm. He imagined this was what it felt like for her being dragged around by him on Volruna and just let her do her thing. It was kind of exciting, actually. He couldn’t wait to see what surprise Hannah had waiting at the end of this little adventure.

#the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #HERE WE GOOOOOOOO #I genuinely have never been on a date before #so I'm just assuming everything really #also my man ain't as smooth as y'all think he is #he is for the most part but he can be awkward too!#as he should be!#ANYWAY enjoy the awkward I guess LOL #star warz #my storiez

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petitelepus · 2 years

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Hello devilish Lepus!

Id love if you could expand on this idea I had for MTMTE Spinister: a reader going hunting with him! If s/o is cybertronian, also having a gun- but I think a human s/o would actually play prey while he uses some sort of nerf gun? Could be one of those hunter/prey kink things or just genuine fun!

Hope this catches your interest, something more refreshing for the palette!

Love your work, and thank you for considering writing this <3

You're small, fast, and nimble, it almost feels unfair for poor Spinister. But the medic is a talented shooter, unlike certain Con whose name rhymes with the miss, so you don't feel so bad when you're set against him.

You weren't actually using real guns, but nerf guns with top-of-the-class suction cups to make sure the stick pullet sticks to the target. Aka you.

But just like you said earlier, you're a small target that is constantly on the move, you weren't making it easy for Spinister to shoot you.

That is what you were thinking, just as a bullet whistled just by your head and stuck to the wall behind you. You could feel cold sweat rising as the reality of the situation settled in. He found you and now he was shooting at you.

"I'm going to get you!" He shouted at you and you made a quick dash for the safety.

"You're never taking me alive!" You shouted back but you couldn't help the good-natured chuckle that escaped past your lips. This was maybe the most fun you had in ages since the Scavengers found you.

You're running when suddenly you feel something hit your leg and you gasp as you look down and see a bullet lodged into your leg. According to rules, if you got shot in a certain body part, you would have to act as if it was out of use.

So you tried to quickly hop to cover with your one leg that wasn't shot and that's when you heard a click and froze. Slowly, you looked up and saw Spinisted pointing his gun straight at you.

"Any last words?" He asked and pressed the gun's muzzle straight against your forehead. You scoffed and gave him your most defiant look. "You better not miss or I'm coming for you."

"Please, I'm not Missfire!" The huge Decepticon said and you smiled, "Take your best shot."

And that's what he did. A bang and you had a bullet stuck on your forehead. Spinister twirled the gun in his hand and you could see from his optics that he was smiling.

"I win!"

"You won." You agreed as you pulled the bullet off from your forehead and leg. You got up and smiled at the big Con. "A bet is a bet. What do you want me to do?"

"Can you explain to me how you humans copulate?"

Wow, that was a hard word from him. You chuckled lightly and winked at him. "Why explain when I can show?"

#luxaiko #spinister #transformers #transformers mtmte #reader #mtmte #reader insert #scavengers #Enjoy!#This was pretty fun #I love Spinister

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kashyyyyk · 4 years

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i was tagged my the lovely @theleavesoflorien to answer these questions, so here goes :))

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen?

blue actually! but idk why

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city?

the country ideally, bc cities are just too noisy, too grey, too many people. but on the other hand, ppl in the country are boring af... so. guess i could live anywhere where i had some peace and quiet and nature on the one hand, and some interesting ppl on the other - one can dream ig, lol

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

any skill would be nice X’D but i guess writing, always. and not being a procrastinator. just being able to focus and actually finish/achieve smth. would be great (if that’s even a “skill”)

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar?

coffee sometimes (aka when it’s bad coffee lol); tea never (tho i’d put in honey sometimes)

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

gosh i have no idea. i remember liking most books by Marc De Bel and Patrick Lagrou (both Flemish writers) and then as a teenager ig it had to be Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

i like both, but maybe baths, which have that additional element of “i’ve got time to relax rn” which is always great

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be?

werewolf :’) or smth that lives in the ocean (not a mermaid tho, i’m not 12) like a giant turtle or smth, or some big cat (i don’t know my mythology wow), or a dragon :33333

8. Paper or electronic books?

paper! ♥ which goes against my eco principles but i just loooove books and can’t get myself to read on a screen

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

my mom jeans :’)

10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it?

i don’t like it at all D: if money wasn’t a factor, i probably would’ve changed it already, sorry @ my parents but yes

11. Who is a mentor to you?

George Harrison :’)

12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for?

writing fantasy/scifi books or shows/movies pls and thanks ♥

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

i sleep like a log, which ig is why i wake up feeling like one XD

14. Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person?

lol. i used to... guess deep down i still am, even tho i’ve completely embraced ace/aro life for now. would never go for any of that sappy stuff tho, but some epic kind of soulmates love, i’m one of the idiots who believes in that shit :’)

15. Which element best represents you?

water ♥ and i guess air to a certain extent

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

lmao @theleavesoflorien, Henry Cavill, HARD SAME :’))) or Dhani Harrison for that matter :3 ~the 2 Main Platonic Baes~ but in all realness, i’d just wish i had any rl friends that i vibed with on a soul level /rip

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

my brother i guess, always ♥

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

re-enacting The Lion King with my brother XD and generally just making up stories with him - @theleavesoflorien, we did the radio shows/quizzes too! brilliant XD

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

fermented shark, in Iceland. i highkey would not recommend

20. What are you most thankful for?

still being alive i suppose :’) tho sometimes these days i wish i wasn’t. also, great music, books, tv shows, movies ♥ and whatever unspoiled nature we still have

21. Do you like spicy food?

sure! tho not like really spicy ig

22. Have you ever met someone famous?

i met Michael Palin in 2018 at a book signing ♥_♥ after a talk he did. and i said i’d liked the talk and he said thanks :’))))) also met Terry Gilliam last year and we talked for 2 secs ♥ and ig there were others but i can’t remember right now. oh yeah, talked to Finn Jones at a con one time :’)

23. Do you keep a diary or journal?

lol yeah like about 5 of them XD all for different aspects of my life i suppose. i have the worst memory in the world, so i need this to literally remember things

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

pen

25. What is your star sign?

cancer sun / leo moon / scorpio rising

26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

oh my fuck who would like soggy cereal o_____O

27. What would you want your legacy to be?

idk, just generally being remembered at all would be nice. would be great to have contributed something noticeable, but having made people happy in some way at all would do ig

28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read?

LMAO yes :’) i’m reading a few dozen atm, but the last one i finished was Sign of Chaos by Roger Zelazny, part of the Amber series i’ve read about 6 times now instead of reading new things

29. How do you show someone you love them?

no idea :’)) just be there for them ig. giving them some of my time must mean i love them bc i loooovvvveee my time :’)

30. Do you like ice in your drinks?

not really actually. if it needs to be cold i’d rather just have it chilled than have ice in it

31. What are you afraid of?

dying without really having lived :’) /harsh truths hour

32. What is your favourite scent?

peaches, basil, privet, monoï, ....

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname?

gosh, depends on the situation. i guess i’d say sir or madam (without the surname tho) and i mean older as in at least 20y older

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

not working for anyone else another day in my life. except if i found something i really want to get behind and put some effort in. hopefully write for pleasure tho, which would hopefully come easier since i wouldn’t be stressed at all times. i’d like to live near the ocean and the jungle, surrounded by a only few but likeminded people ♥

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

love ♥ the ocean, tho i also scares me lol. would say a natural pool or a lake without too many weeds in it :’)

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

take it ofc

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

oh yes! i always make a wish :) and the same one each time too

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

that they’re okay, that of course growth is important, but that they’re enough as they are, and only have to change if they want it, not for anyone else. i’d try to teach them empathy and respect for all beings and the earth we live on

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

got three already, but i’m contemplating George Harrison’s squiggly sun drawing from his Here Comes the Sun manuscript, maybe on my ankle? still considering Tolkien’s dragon drawing too. an ॐ somewhere definitely, maybe combined with some lotus thing, idk yet..

40. What can you hear right now?

Pink Floyd - The Great Gig in the Sky (Live, from Pulse)

41. Where do you feel the safest?

in my flat. or in nature when there’s no one around. in fact i feel safe most places where there’s not too many people around

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

my procrastination

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

ooof, difficult choice. maybe just super far back to hunter-gatherer times tbh XD like okay, not that intellectually or spiritually developed, but still in touch with the actual earth we live on as simply another species, before assuming we were anything “more” or w/e, before any money or power or religion came into play ♥

44. What is your most used emoji?

i’m on the computer now so, hmmmm but: ok hand, and the crying emoji, and the two hearts, and ofc the “this is fine” content smiling one XD sorry idk how to describe it

45. Describe yourself using one word.

idiot

46. What do you regret the most?

not having taken my life into my own hands in my 20s... but i honestly try not to regret much anymore. i guess my 20s couldn’t have gone much different all things considered, and i did learn from them

47. Last movie you saw?

Mortal Kombat X’D

48. Last tv show you watched?

Red Dwarf ♥♥♥

49. Invent a word and its meaning

this is too difficult :’)))))

as usual i’m lazy and tag anyone who feels like doing this! ~♥

#//tagged #//answered #//personal #theleavesoflorien

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idealisticrealism · 7 years

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Blindspot 3x02 recap

Aka the one where the team has to get their groove back

Ah, man. I always intend to do these straight after the ep but then damn life always gets in the way and now suddenly somehow it’s about 12 hours until the new episode airs… let’s see how quickly I can smash through this one then, huh? (Answer: not very quickly lol)

As usual, many thoughts to be found beneath the cut.

Look I’m not really a fan of hunters or white men who are overly attached to their weapons, but murdering a couple of dudes just because they stumbled upon your shady militant business seems a lil bit rough tbh

Ugh Weller is cooking for his lady he’s such a cutie pie and ugh Jane slept so deeply, when was the last time she slept well?? But ugh they’re really settling back into being around each other and HE COMPLIMENTS HER HAIR and tbh I like it best when it’s the classic ‘Jane Doe’ short look but this is super cute (and better than the wavy hair from last ep). And wow I feel like we’re burning through a lot of topics in this brief scene bc now they’re talking about how Jane disappearing pretty much bankrupted Weller (man, that’d have to add some guilt to the pile), and then it comes up that Jane is now vegan and tbh I have a slight problem with this new fact. Like okay being vegan is fine, but firstly they already had at least dinner together the night before, so this kinda should have already come up, right? And secondly I kinda feel like her being vegan now is just a somewhat clumsy way of the writers showing how these two have both ‘changed’ and ‘don’t really know each other like they used to’. I honestly expected her to be joking, and for that little joke to actually demonstrate that while they’re not exactly the same as they were, they also haven’t radically changed. But nevermind, I guess. It provided the necessary setup for Weller’s question about any other surprises-- following which Jane says nothing about the passports and cash she’d hidden-- which is what the writers really wanted to get out of this scene anyway.

Poor Stuart, Patterson really does not like sharing her lab. But technically he’s right, it is his lab too. And omg he and Zapata giving Patterson shit about her app is priceless. I think it might have been unintentional on his part but Zapata sure ran with it and I am loving her sly grin rn lol. But aw Patterson why you gotta growl at lil puppy Stuart so much?? He doesn’t have the tattoo solving experience you have, and plus, I seem to remember you obsessing over certain specific tattoos and getting distracted from the rest… though maybe the David experience put a stop to that, I guess, and you subconsciously don’t want Stuart to head down that same path. And then lol Weller strides in and tells Patterson he wants to solve one specific tattoo today and ooooh she is pissed, whereas Zapata’s having more fun rn than she did in her entire year at the CIA. I knew you missed this, girl. And then Weller says he solved part of the tatt and she’s immediately like ‘excuse me? By yourself?’ and looks doubtful (and also possibly concerned? It’s not something dodgy is it??). But omg “I’m not just a handsome face, Tasha” hahahaha. And yeah yeah we know about Roman and Berlin, though it’s news that there’s a specific sequence to these tattoos and that Roman is supposedly trying to help save the world. And now the team is crackin’ and ugh Patterson to Stuart “What a math whiz you are” and on one hand it’s funny but on the other c’mon mate, go easy on him. He’s barely more than a baby. Anyway ten she pulls some wizardy stuff with the tattoo and they figure out that it marks a spot up near the finger lakes. But then Jane realises that it may connect with the pre-existing tattoo in the same spot-- the left breast, apparently, thanks Stuart (next time answer a little slower, buddy) and omg she gives him this tiny, amused (but not mocking) smile as she repeats ‘left chest area’ and ugh I’m so glad to see someone being sweet to Stuart.

So the team updates Reade on the sitch, which feels a lil weird, and he’s hesitant to let them rush out and blindly follow the tattoos like Weller wants to, bc he’s worried about them being manipulated again, and oooh Weller gets all grumpy about it. Boys, boys, play nice. Jane gently convinces Reade into it, while Weller continues to grump. Dude, I don’t particularly think Reade should be in charge, but the fact of the matter is that he IS in charge, so you should be watching your tone. It doesn’t matter that you have inside info that this is a time-sensitive situation, that is still not a respectful way to address a superior officer. And then lol they go out and search for hours until Reade tries to make them go home “I don’t wanna just quit”/“it’s not quitting if it’s an order”. Lol poor guy, it’s like dealing with a bunch of headstrong kids some of the time. And then suddenly a satellite literally crash-lands right near them, and is pretty much immediately descended on by a bunch of military-esque guys. Notice that Weller is calling the shots again? Old habits die hard, I guess. Poor Reade….

Stuart is still obsessed with that same tattoo and PAtterson is still annoyed by it. Reade and Weller walk in with a chorus of ‘so what have you got?’ and again, Weller, time to back down, buddy. This ain’t your team anymore. Lol “we’re not following hunches”/“We just followed Weller’s hunch…” ugh poor beleaguered Stuart. He just can’t catch a break. And sigh, looks like Rich won’t be helping out this ep. Bummer. Ooooohhh but Reade gives the orders and then calls Weller into his office, who definitely has an odd look on his face as he looks at their reversed positions either side of the desk. And omg Reade brings up the tattoo and Weller’s all ‘oh yeah I was right about that’. Uh excuse me??? I’m not even on this team and even I don’t like your tone one bit, you insolent little preteen! Come on, Weller, this level of juvenile pettiness should be below you. After all, Reade is raising a very valid question about how it was that he just happened to solve the tattoo on the very day that the satellite fell-- which means he’s onto you, buddy. I’d be treading with a little more care and a little less jerkishness, if I were you….

Oh hi Sydney! Oh man when was this filmed??? I stg if they were there when I was there in September…. But oooh damn Roman is getting into some deep stuff here at this support group. Oh hey! I know that guy, he was in an ep of Timeless. And I think possibly in some Aussie ad? Idk. And yep, I don’t care if it’s my native accent, hearing it in an American show is always freakin weird. At least he’s a legit Aussie and not putting on a terrible fake accent haha. And ok I know he’s not but it kind of feels like he’s almost hitting on Roman haha? But in actuality I’m pretty sure Roman has orchestrated this whole thing. Also this dude lives in The Rocks??? He must be loaded, wow. And lol, it’s never too early for a beer in Australia, unless of course you’re me, in which case ‘never’ is too early for a beer haha.

Oooh boy, Stuart, it’s probably not a good idea to literally take the words out of Patterson’s mouth. She really does love briefing the team and showing how smart she is, which in this case involves her having figured out who the satellite belonged to. The representatives of ProtechSat arrive, though are greatly confused since they’re not missing a satellite-- at least, until they see the one in the lab. “Oh, this is for sure ours” hahaha. And then they proceed to have very restrained freakouts and make multiple phone calls as they realise exactly which satellite it was and what it did, while the team gets more and more impatient waiting for answers “getting a little suspicious here guys”/”lotta red flags” hahaha I love the sass in this team. And then lolll the whole ‘We’re from the DOD” exchange and the explaining of the acronyms is priceless. Turns out, though, that the US has a missile shield thingy via a network of satellites, and now with the black box from the crashed one, someone could technically turn it off. Lol at Tasha’s “great, now I have to make a phone call” haha. And Stuart suddenly gets the company name and damn I love this show’s subtle humour. Uh oh, apparently North Korea is priming their missiles, which means possible nuclear war. Geez, high stakes or what. Oh hold up, as long as a single satellite in the network stays functional, the shield stays in place. Who wants to bet that they stop the bad guys just as it counts down to one or two satellites left?? And then lol “stuart’s got something” “Really??” damn Patterson, be nice lol

Stuart has discovered the situation with the hunters, which leads them to a trail cam that shows the ringleader’s face-- and Jane knows him. She worked with him doing K&R, and knows several of his aliases. Reade is immediately thinking of the ramifications of her previous work, but Zapata and Patterson both immediately jump to her defense. Aw, my girls! And then Weller’s all grumpy again over this discovery and tbh I don’t understand why?? As far as I recall, he didn’t ever directly ask her what she’d been doing while she was gone, and rescuing kidnapping victims certainly doesn’t seem like a bad thing?? Like, so what if she worked with some questionable people for the greater good? Geez, Weller, you’re more hormonal in a single day than many girls are throughout their entire teenage years. Chill out, son.

Back in the motherland, these rather similar looking dudes are bonding over more beers, and ugh Roman is telling him the truth about Shepherd and Jane. “Half the time I want my sister back, half the time I want to kill her”--- who wants to bet that that’s going to be a running theme of the season lol? And then haha “you’re next beer’s going to be a water” uh mate he’s American, the beer he’s used to practically IS water loll

Jane finds Weller in the locker room to apologise, which imo isn’t warranted, but whatever. And he says that she ‘did what she had to do’ and I LOVE that she corrects him and tells him that she did it bc she WANTED to? That’s right, girl, don’t let him alter your narrative to fit his views. And then he judges her about people she may or may not have killed/let die and dude. Duuuude. You’re being an assssss. Good thing Patterson has found some info on their bad guy. Sidenote, but I think the writers managed to slip in a subtle dig about gun control in there and I’m super impressed? Anyhow Patterson shows them the guy’s safehouses she found, which Jane is immediately able to narrow down to one based on her skills and her personal knowledge of the guy. Nice work, honey! And then they bust in there and oooh “this is for Paris”-- ok I need that backstory right now, please and thank you. We see some Korean guys in a car who have apparently already discovered that their contact is blown, but they apparently have an ace up their sleeve. Uh oh….

Oooh Zapata is ranting to Patterson about ‘Assistant Director Reade’ and man it’s weird hearing her use his title. Patterson tries to highlight things from his perspective (with another lil jab from Tasha about her app making it in there haha) and then tells her she might just need to figure out a new balance, likening it to her own ‘friends who hate each other’ thing with Stuart, and Zapata’s all ‘yeah no he definitely doesn’t know that that’s what you are’ and Patterson suddenly feels all bad. As you should, honey, coz you’ve been kinda mean to him this whole time. But aww she says she’ll be better and fix things and ugh I love seeing my babies listen to each other and work to improve themselves. Of course all her good intentions do kind of go out the window when she discovers that Stuart is back to using their processing power on his pet tattoo, and advances on him so suddenly that he literally knocks stuff off his desk in his haste to back away. Ugh the poor kid is terrified of her, despite being practically twice her height haha. She does make a good point that the nukes are all still live and the threat is far from neutralised, though. And lol she refers to the hacker as a he and the ProtechSat guy pipes up in the background “Or she!” and Patterson is all, “Exactly, women can be hackers too, Stuart!” and omg I shouldn’t laugh but the poor guy is so flustered rn and totally scared of her, and Zapata is in the background with her face in her hand hahahaha.

Oooh Reade comes in and diffuses the situation by being completely oblivious to it haha, just as he misses the sass Tasha directs his way. Then he goes in to interrogate the dude they caught and lol when he suggests he’s the hacker the dude is all “Do I look like a nerd?” Ouch man, didn’t you know anyone can be a hacker? Lol. And then “is that the good Korea, or the bad one?” okay I kinda like this guy haha, can we see more of him? Weller is definitely less impressed, taking the opportunity to shame Jane a little more for her past career choices, and dude you better get down off of that high horse before you FALL off of it. You’re hardly one with any right to be throwing stones here. But at she stands her ground, and he backs off a little. You go, Jane.

Oooh Reade is getting a pep talk from Hirst; she thinks he’s overcompensating now that the team is back. Well, that’s probably true. But on the other hand, certain members of his team (*cough* Weller *cough*) are also being prigs. Speaking of people who are being butts today, the bad dude (who is a butt) gets a visit from Jane (who has a nice butt) and there’s lots of sass being thrown around-- “I liked you better when you were unaffiliated” “Funny, I never liked you at all” hahaha yaaaassss my queeeeennnn. Oooh but hold on, he knew about her bounty? And didn’t act on it, due to a mysterious person called Clem telling him not to touch her. Wow, Clem must be powerful. They’re probably a dude, too, but just saying I have an Aunty Clem and though she’s a 5ft nutritionist with a pixie cut and giant glasses, I could totally see her as a mastermind/commander figure haha. I guess they already did the ‘Surprise! This character you’ve been hearing about is actually a woman!’ reveal with Shepherd tho. But anyhow based on Jane’s chat with her old work buddy, there may be a leak in the team-- and of course the first suspect is the ProtechSat guy who happens to be a POC. Original. It’s only when he has an alibi--- sidenote, why was he at the hospital overnight I really wanna know-- that anyone even remembers that oh yeah, he has a colleague who has also been there the whole time, and who they now know had the means to frame him. But I mean she’s a pretty white lady, so who could blame them for not suspecting her til now? (#me #Icould) Aaand now the innocent lil white lady just killed two poor dudes and is about to give the baddies the means to nuke the whole country. Good work, team.

Back by the bay, the beardy boys are bonding beautifully. Poor Aussie dude just really wants to make sure Roman isn’t a risk to himself-- but he doesn’t realise that he’s the one at risk. Roman deliberately targeted him, drugged him and is about to kill him. And ughhh the poor guy is all ‘I don’t wanna die’ and Roman seems to almost regret that he has to do it bc he seems to genuinely like him and duuuude just don’t do it! Don’t kill him! Be a better person!

The ProtechSat guy helped them figure out where the hacker chick is, which I’m super satisfied by bc the guy that they wrongly accused has now just helped save their asses. And Jeller are racing there, and Jane tells Weller she loves him, but it’s with a look of almost trepidation on her face, like when a dog thinks you’re mad at them so they’ll come up and lick your hand and try to be extra cute and lovable. At least Weller immediately says it back, then reassures her that he’s not mad at her, but at Roman for orchestrating all this, and tells her that they can’t let him drive them apart. Mmmm-hmmmm, this is the time when you mention that you ALSO have something to confess, boy! But nope, looks like we’re not free of the hypocrisy yet. Anyhow the team dashes into the building (awkwardly hiding their guns from all the kiddies), guided by Patterson to the planetarium where they find a dead Marcy. Also the voiceover narrating about asteroids and meteorites sounds very much like it’s an analogy for this show’s characters… meanwhile the team is suddenly being shot at, a (male or female, thanks guys) hacker is shutting down all the satellites, Patterson is yelling… it’s just like old times. And finally the team functions like old times, and Reade and Tasha manage to cover Jeller long enough for them to go and take out the hacker and his guards in a kickass lil showdown-- leaving them with two satellites playing Atlas and holding the whole thing together. Lol at Reade losing his comms and being like ‘So did we win or did we get nuked?’ haha. And then awwww the team’s all gathered back at the lab and Reade is giving a lil speech and I’m so proud of them. Also no drinking in the lab is a new rule-- I feel like this was somehow put in place because of Rich haha.

Aw, damn, Roman really killed him. Well, that sucks. But he needed his identity or whatever, so fine. But omg it’s hilarious watching Luke pretend to ‘learn’ how to speak with his own native accent haha. Also when are they going to explain the absence of the scar???

Oh boy. Weller is cooking tofu sticks, which is not going at all well, but it’s a sweet gesture. And yet again I kind of expect Jane to say she was joking about the whole vegan thing, idk why lol. But ugh he’s all ‘I’m trying so hard’ and I really do feel bad for him rn. He’s scared that bc there’s so much about her now that he wasn’t part of, that it will mean he’ll never really have her back or something. But um dude, literally everyone else in the world is with someone who has years of experiences that don’t include them?? Like with her memory wipe, her entire existence is pretty much only like 4 years long at this point, and she was with you for 2 and a half of those. Most people are with someone who lived twenty or more years before knowing them. So I suggest you reassess a bit here, buddy. But then again I know you’re only scared of losing her again, which is probably a fear you’ll carry forever (which as we know, is a situation I am displeased with the writers about). But ugh Jane basically suggests going out on a date which is cute, and Weller’s all ‘no go we’re broke’, and she’s all ‘well actually’ and shows him her giant stash’o’cash. And it’s one of those bittersweet moments bc yes she kept it from him but she was keeping it for an emergency, and had likely planned to tell him once she had realised how dire things had gotten financially. Thankfully Weller decides to focus on the positive, and well, they don’t make it to that date….

Awww Tasha shows up at Reade’s apartment and there’s sass and it’s cute and he apologises and then she’s all oooohhh you’re on a date?? But NO OMG he has a GIRLFRIEND and she looks VERY FAMILIAR and ooooohhhhhhhhhh boyyyyyyyy this is gonna get awkwardddddddddddd

Meanwhile Patterson is repeatedly calling Stuart to try to apologise and explain her recent behaviour which I really approve of and appreciate, and ugh she tells him he’s good at his job and ugh she’s actually gone to his apartment to see him but oh shit the door is busted in and please tell me he just went back to the lab to work late please please please oh shit oh nooooooooooooooo. Stuarttttttttttttt!! Oh my baby this is so unfair, you deserved so much better…. (Also poor Patterson ugh)

#Blindspot #Blindspot recap #Jeller #Nooooo Stuarttttt #:((((

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wanderingaunt · 4 years

Text

Resisting Resistance

The other night, I laid in the grass gazing up at April’s Pink Full Moon. I felt a wave of peace and calm come over me. Just a few minutes prior, I had sent a very personal letter off that I had been meditating on (as well as resisting) for several weeks. It felt good to finally be in a place of peace with it. I had finally let go of resistance and trusted Spirit to show me the right time to send my letter.

After an hour or so of moon gazing, I went back inside. I was really tired and ready to call it a night. I looked over and saw one of my oracle decks beckoning my attention. I felt a nudge to pull a card. I had already spent several hours earlier in the day meditating, pulling cards, and journaling.

Why was I being called to pull a card now?

I leaned into the invitation. I picked up my deck and asked the oracle to reveal to me the message my soul most needed to hear at the moment. My ego knew it was going to be a message that symbolized peace or a message about good things coming.

I shuffled my cards and Be the Hunter, Not the Hunted popped out at me.

I read the first line of the oracle message and immediately resisted it. The message read, “Do you feel you are at the beck and call of circumstances, situations, and relationships that are outside of your control? Is your attention being called away from what you love — from your passionate focus upon your own journey and creative self-expression?”

It was not the message my ego was anticipating.

I was annoyed. I tucked the card away and put the book down and crawled into bed. I didn’t sleep too well that night. My mind was racing a bit. I was resisting leaning into the message and exploring what this could be about.

The next morning, things started to click. I sat down with my deck and thought, “This card was about my past…not the future. It makes sense now!” I felt better. I then looked down at my phone and had a message from the person I had written my letter to ask if I wanted to talk. I got on the call and learned some information that I (again) was not anticipating. The message from the card was starting to make more sense.

Later that afternoon, I had a call with my coach. I was talking about my letter and the response I received to it. As we were talking through where I was and what this could all mean for me, I heard her say the word “Manipulating”. I immediately asked her to pause. I pulled out my book at looked up the card’s message again…“You are being asked to see through the assumptions, expectations, tantrums or manipulations that may be put upon you by yourself or others. See-through them to the truth!… You are capable of seeing through the truth, out-smarting old patterns and responding more creatively to craft new and improved relationships.”

I was clear at that moment, the card was meant for the present, not the past. I was reliving old patterns and being reminded to see them through to the truth. Now I’m thankful for the message I pulled. Nothing is wrong. I am learning more about who I am and the patterns in my life that I can explore, shift or release. Had I not leaned into the message, I would’ve been stuck in a place of resistance only to revisit it at another time.

Consider what you resist most is actually what you’re meant to lean into.

I was in a yoga class (what seems like forever ago), and we were being guided into a pose that I absolutely detest. Rather than fighting it (this time), I chose to lean in and explore what the pose feels like in my body and why I resist it so much. I realized that I had an “I can’t” mentality about the pose. Others in the class were doing it “perfectly”, and I can’t do it like them, so I resist trying. The pose also feels uncomfortable and at times painful. After class, I asked the instructor to watch me get into the pose and show me how I could modify it to fit my body. I learned some valuable modifications. My body is different. My pose may not look like others’ and that’s okay.

As soon as I leaned into the resistance, I was able to find a new opening for the support that I was not available for before.

As most of the world is being required or urged to stay inside while in the midst of a global pandemic, resistance is likely to show up even more. When coronavirus first showed up in the U.S. there was a lot of ignorance, disbelief, and resistance around the virus. It’s bad in China and Italy, but we’ll be okay in the U.S. I was having lunch with a client who is an avid world traveler like me. He was set to travel to India in the coming weeks. He told me he was uncertain about going. I sat there and told him, “I’m not worried about traveling. I’m healthy. The flu infects more people.” (my own ignorance and denial). He then proceeded to tell me that he had quarantine kits ready to go. I sat there thinking, “Wow. That seems extreme. He’s so prepared. That is the last thing I’d ever think to do.” Less than 8 days later, Dallas was being asked to shelter in place.

It was during my last public yoga class that I finally felt the brevity of this pandemic. Studios and businesses were beginning to close. My studio was still open. They assured us that they were taking all precautions to ensure the safety of the studio, instructors, and clients. Yet, when I saw more and more people cram into the room, I was clear this was not okay. I was 6 inches away from others, not 6 feet. That was the last public class I’ve been to in a month. Just 3 days after that the studio closed.

I witnessed this happen over and over with business after business. Some got on board early and closed; while others held on by staying open as long as they could. Even businesses were in resistance about closing.

As humans, we don’t like being told ‘No’ or to stay still. We want freedom. We want to come and go as we please. We want life to remain the same. We want to be left alone. It’s not really the telling of ‘No’ that flusters us, it’s the resistance to change.

The more you resist change, the more you are left with little choice but to change.

We can continue to fight it. We can continue to say that we’re the “exception to the rule”. We can continue to say that it doesn’t matter or that it’s not a big deal. We can continue to be in denial or say that we’ll start tomorrow. Eventually, all of our excuses (aka our resistance) will cause us to face the truth of the situation. Truth leads to choice which leads to freedom. We can either lean into the resistance and surrender or continue to fight it and allow it to consume us.

The moment you cross over the pain point of resistance, change begins to happen.

It will feel uncomfortable at first. Yet the more you lean in, the more what you’re doing will become familiar and less uncomfortable. When I finally chose to let go of the resistance around the card message I pulled, I was able to see an opening for insight and growth. When I chose to lean into the yoga pose I resisted so much, I was able to gain confidence and reassurance that it was possible for me to do it. I just needed modifications and practice. The moment I stopped denying the evidence of coronavirus, I was able to accept it and do my part to stay home.

Many are adjusting to life inside and staying in one location. Many who are not used to working remotely are now working from home. Many have their children home while still working a full-time job. Many have lost jobs or have been furloughed. Many are reveling in the space they have to work on creative projects while many others are taking time to slow down and rest.

We are all learning to navigate a new way of living.

With all of this change, emotions are heightened. And it’s likely that emotions are what we’re resisting most. I used to resist crying. I view it as a weakness. I thought that to be strong meant to suck it up and show no emotion. Thankfully, I’ve spent a lot of time uncovering my resistance to emotions and now choose to embrace them.

It’s okay to feel. It’s okay to feel sad and allow yourself to cry. It’s okay to be angry and allow yourself to scream in the shower or car. It’s okay to be mad at what’s happening with the leadership in this country. It’s okay to be annoyed and express why you’re annoyed. It’s okay to be happy and tell others why. It’s okay to be grateful for what you have. It’s okay to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling. When we resist emotions, we push them down further only to explode or be revealed later. When we lean in, we can choose to be in a place of acceptance, allow ourselves to feel and express the emotion, and move forward.

Children are great teachers for expressing emotions. They don’t resist emotions. They lean into them, allow them to be known, and then let them go and move on. And as adults, we have the tools to express our emotions in a healthy way that’s conducive for all.

Resistance provides an opportunity for you to explore.

Resistance makes itself known the moment you get inspired by an idea or wish to change something in your life. It shows when changes are thrust upon you that may be outside of your control. In moments of resistance, you have a powerful opportunity to explore why the resistance is showing up and how it could benefit you to move through it. Once you make a choice to move through it, don’t expect it to suddenly get easy. Resistance will fight however it can to keep you safe and where you are. Keep leaning in. You may have a project that you’ve been wanting to work on—whether it be writing, cleaning and organizing a space in your house, starting a side hustle or making a change in your business, having a conversation with someone you know you need to have yet have been resisting…whatever it is, the moment you declare you are going to take action, resistance will sweep in.

In his book The War of Art, Steven Pressfield writes of the first time he decided to start writing. He had always had a dream of being a screenwriter. He moved to New York and was waiting tables for years thinking about writing. Thinking about writing and the act of writing is completely different. One night he finally decided to start. He sat down at his typewriter and began to write. He found himself frustrated and hating all of his ideas. The more frustrated he got with his writing, the more wads of paper piled up in the trash bin. Yet, he forced himself to sit there for 2 hours writing. Once his time was up, he felt an excess of energy. He went into the kitchen and began washing 10 days worth of dishes in the sink. Suddenly he noticed himself whistling. While the work was not perfect, he was happy. He had finally leaned into the resistance, sat down at his typewriter and started writing. That was the start of his writing career.

When you lean into resistance, it may take several tries of starting again and again until you reach a point of flow and/or completion. Keep leaning in. Keep showing up.

Questions to consider when facing Resistance:

Where in your life are you experiencing resistance?

Where do you feel resistance in your body?

What are the benefits of holding on to the resistance?

What is it costing you by not leaning into the resistance?

Give yourself some space when resistance shows up. Go back to the 4 questions listed above and answer them for yourself. Lean into the resistance and embrace it. Be gentle with yourself. Celebrate the small victories. Show up again and again.

If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of resistance and wishing you had some support, yet you’re resistant to asking…reach out. Together we can do a Clarity Session to support you in uncovering what the resistance is about and create powerful ways to lean in and move through the resistance. Learn more about Clarity Sessions here.

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