#alarm bells in my brain

[aro-culture-is]

quick note - this blog is gonna be sparse again for at least this week. trying new medications and tbh initial side effects are not super pleasant + actual effects build up. as a result: currently as if unmedicated for mental health, with anxiety+ side effect, extra fatigue, dizziness, and fatigue. it's uh, sure something.

totally recognize that most of y'all know we're absent at times due to health things, just wanted to give a heads up that this one is at least anticipated.

#fun fact sometimes condensing meds just means poorer treatment of some conditions #this is a re-expansion + new thing #so that instead of poorly treating my mental health and using an unusually high dose SNRI for another (physical) condition #i will hopefully both be in less pain AND not depressed af AND also have an appetite again #i doubt i will be lucky and not have a fucked stomach due to meds but one can hope that an appetite will allow me to eat foods that upset #my stomach a lot less #my health is forever a massive balancing act #every time a medical thing is like 'so what meds do u take' i'm like here i wrote it down for u #and they're like 'oh. ooookay. let me just...' *five minutes of typing and clicking later* #'so! what did you come in for again? uhuh. you said you experience pain daily? with your chronic pain thing? hm. have you tried yoga?' #/gen #like. straight up every time i say 'i am in pain all the time due to fibromyalgia' they are like 'ooh studies say regular exercise helps' #and like. theoretically yes! but also. i would be lying if i said the fibromyalgia studies i've skimmed don't set off general 'bad science' #alarm bells in my brain #like... cool you performed a fibromyalgia study with... all male lab rats? mhmm? so are you aware fibromyalgia appears to occur #overwhelmingly in women? like. data seems to suggest between 70-85%? #(not that the data can't still indicate things but it certainly makes male rats a poor choice of model for tests on it) #also just... idk i've looked at some metaanalysis and been like 'okay cool theory and for all i know about human bio or bio in general that #sounds more or less correct BUT. you never discussed that one study on this subject that did NOT support your conclusion. #and that's 1) interesting when it was the most diverse group of subjects and the exceptions often teach just as much as the 'rule' #2) just shitty science. tell me how your theory is still credible when some evidence doesn't fit the model. #like... 'given that all other studies were primarily conducted on white american women in their 30s to 40s it is possible that this model #only explains (the early effects of fibro since that's a typical onset period) / (a possible genetic link primarily found in white women) / #(a possible sign of bias in diagnosis that demonstrates the possibility that there are different causes) / combinations of all of those #like... idk a paper that just throws out things that don't support it is a pretty big red flag #it doesn't mean the conclusion is entirely incorrect but it is often important to understand the context in which it applies #like... it's very easy to jump to an incorrect conclusion if you used something in the wrong context #ie: thumbs up is a good job / positive thing in a lot of western civilizations. teenage kee once went to china and discovered it to be #neutral to offensive in many areas outside of major tourist locations that were used to it #anyways i gotta sleep

[dawnbreakersgaze]

Everyone is talking about how cute this whole card was, but this moment had me thinking about how hard it must have been for Xavier and the other backtrackers to adjust to Earth and well... everything.

Like I wonder how hard it was for them to adjust to new foods, new (old? Ancient?) Tech, customs, clothing, everything.

Like it's clear from the main story that some of the Backtrackers are really struggling even after all this time, but I wonder how many faltered right at the beginning, and how hard, when they saw just how different it really all was. I mean, some people can't even manage to live in another country for an extended period of time, imagine living on an entirely different planet, in an entirely different time, with people who weren't even entirely your same species.

And, at the end of it, to develop a resistance to change, rather than to foster a healthy relationship with it, because of it? It's a coping mechanism, for sure, one we've seen from Xavier a couple of times actually.

All this was to say that in the midst of this tooth-achingly sweet moment, there was still a little bit of that "raw realness" that is always there with Xavier. He always seems to say the most accidentally sad things at the most random times.

#or maybe my behavior brain is too keen to pick up on these little details #bc when i hear a person admit things like this all the alarm bells go off and im left wondering why theyre so scared #so maybe thats just me #love and deepspace #lnds #lads #l&ds #xavier #xavier love and deepspace #love & deepspace #kay's thoughts

[lonely-space-ace]

I have a presentation in thirty minutes on Abstract Expressionism which means I have to talk for thirty minutes on modern art in front of my extremely cool art history professor and not look like a moron

end me

#currently my brain is just screaming and alarm bells #i dont know what im doing #why did i pick this major again???

[takami-takami]

@mystech-master The commission did very bad things to Hawks. :(

The context is the woman talking is Lady Nagant, who Keigo replaced. They have the same job. And in the flashback, she recounts being told to kill people over and over— sometimes needlessly— to uphold their vision for society. When she tried questioning them, they subtly threaten to kill her (so she kills the president eventually and defects).

Having to do this over and over broke Lady Nagant's spirit so badly she began to see her hands as covered in blood and flinches away from kids who approach her (a parallel to Keigo, by the way, when Tokoyami tells him "your hands aren't dirty, Hawks").

So she's surprised that Keigo isn't completely broken by his history, too. He answers that he wasn't alone, and that he's an optimist (Keigo is extremely resilient! To the point that it's scary!). But still. He looks so sad/contemplative when she asks him the question. Like he knows EXACTLY what she's talking about. She doesn't even have to say it, he just knows. All she has to say is "my soul couldn't take it anymore. How do you still have that look in your eye?"

There's also a parallel right before then when AFO hires Nagant and then tries to kill her when she fails her mission, and Keigo says "He used you, but don't let it end like that."

Don't die as someone used.

Keigo does not say this simply because of what AFO did. Lady Nagant has always been used. Keigo knows that better than anyone.

#this is my interpretation #i think that Keigo's history with the commission is extremely complicated #he sees them as shackles yet he also uses them as a platform for his goals #it's very interesting #im rereading the manga to get a better understanding of it. but every time i see this chapter/episode it sets off alarm bells in my brain #and i need the commission on a stick #on a skewer #truly #🐇 rambles #mha manga spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers

[thedroloisms]

also i have to say there's smth consistently eye-rolly about the idea of going "oh you can't blame me for leaving her there !! i thought they were good people !! i didn't think they would do anything bad to her !!! that's why i left her there i thought she was safe !!!" as if "they" even broke that trust. according to literally all accounts the incident in question happened before you left and nothing progressed further after you were gone. accusing "them" of being horrible nasty people when again, the only wrongdoing alleged at all was on the part of one of them ???? like you can just say that while drunk you didn't make the right judgement call and once you woke up sober you checked in with your friend because thinking back you were worried abt her comfort levels without crying wolf about how you simultaneously "thought they were good safe people" and they took advantage of that after you left (by doing nothing after you left, because the whole incident being described here happened with you in the room) and also knew she was uncomfortable which is why you checked on her immediately (which is somehow being used to blame two people who had zero access to the texts asking her if she was comfortable at all and therefore made the assumptions that she was comfortable based on what they themselves saw)

#like no one took advantage of your trust after you left the whole thing did in fact happen while you were in the room #if they /were/ the monsters you feel like painting them as then yeah it would've been really bad for you to leave her in that environment ! #but uh things literally never progressed further than they did while you were in the room #like at first i thought you didn't know the same way dr eam apparently didn't know #but no the narrative now is apparently that you knew ? but didn't do anything? and assumed she was okay? but that she was uncomfortable? #or whatever? #which is like. cool you can just say that your drunk brain didn't really ring the alarm bells as much as they shouldve #when you apparently noticed in the moment that she looked uncomfortable and didn't do anything #that doesn't change anything abt what discomfort other people might have perceived as Not Her Best Friend #and that also doesn't mean that you were somehow betrayed bc you trusted them not to be terrible people when you left her there #bc . nothing. in fact. happened . after you left her there. #and the whole 'incident' being described in this whole situation happened WITH YOU RIGHT THERE . #anyway excuse my frustration

[natjennie]

hey so my sister told me about this online job from a website just called "data annotation" and I guess it's like a viral tiktok thing too but supposedly you read through ai generated stuff and see if it's real and correct information and describe which response is better suited to the question or w/e. I hate ai as much as the next person but it sounds like work I wouldn't totally hate doing and it's flexible and from home. but the whole thing sounds really scam-ish to me, so idk, have you guys heard of this?

#its pinging alarm bells in my brain #but its upwards of $20 an hour and you choose your own hours and stuff #idk

[jennycalendar]

trying so valiantly to be charmed by ten and rose and see the appeal and be happy they’ve reunited and are flirting but my god it is just not clicking for me after martha’s season. like i was having some relatively casual fun w them before that but now i’m just like ….. this was not worth me sitting thru a season of kicking around martha jones for daring to even THINK about getting between the two of them. which is disappointing bc ten and rose are objectively speaking well written with chemistry!!!

#celia watches dw #there’s half of my brain that still appreciates it like i used to #but the other half is just blaring MARTHA MARTHA MARTHA like alarm bells. rip

[buppypuppy]

.

#vent post essay ahead lol #having complexes about talking about your emotions is literally the fucking devil . its miserable. it sucks so bad. #the aamount of damage that is caused to someone by like #i mean im talking abou t me here obviously. #being the person whose like. overall ultimately tends not to feel horrible as often is like. #it's nice not feeling bad emotionally all the time but also it's like. i develop this complex about being like able to help. #i don't feel bad anywhere near as often as my friends so i can help them out and listen to them vent i can have the mental room to #like listen to them talk about their problems. yeah. but it makes me feel like. well this is my job now so i shouldn't fucking talk about m #i shouldnt vent when i feel bad because that's not what i'm known for. plus my friends already all feel worse than me more often than me. s #i don't want to dump any more on their plate than they have to deal with. i don't want to burden them anymore than i have to. and like it's #it's hard. i hate fucking talking about it and it's made so much worse when its like people i love . always been a fucking problem becaus #i just feel fucking horrible admitting that i feel bad i hate that so much. i don't want to like turn away people who care about me but li #i feel like if i tell them what's wrong with me i'll like do it anyways. i feel like i come off as super normal and happy go lucky and like #ostensibly fine. so when i admit this shit its like. oops the facade is cracking!!!!!! uh oh uh oh you can't help people so you feel bad!!! #because your fucking npd has made you feel self centered in a way that means you want to help people or some shit i dont fucking know #and so when i feel bad or get mad over something unreasonable it's like. well i hope i fucking keel over and die or something i dont like . #i don't want people seeing me like this or whatever. and my stupid fucking personality disorder just ruins every god damn thing its so bad. #my past experiences giving me complexes that lead to me feeling fucking left out over like small stupid stuff but god the worst part is lik #my brain categorizing something as being ''My Thing'' so somebody else talks about liking my thing AFTER my brain has designated it mine #makes alarm bells go off and feel like theyre fucking. i don't know encroaaching on my turf or what the fuck ever? it SUCKS ASS #it makes me feel HORRIBLE . and it's like i'm not gonna fucking bring it up because i don't wnt to be like a dick but also it's like well. #i feel fucking miserable about this but it's just like mean and unnecessary and cruel to like stifle people's fucking fun because of my dum #fuckin complexes. it's fucking constant. like oh look at you girl you feel fucking left out because you never get characters who really gri #you mentally and so now you have one but oops! someone else talked about them and now you're seeing red! you like this person though #so you're gonna feel fucking MISERABLE about this . you're gonna feel HORRIBLE because of this. and there's nothing you can fucking do #and it controls my goddamn life and i HATE IT i fucking HATE IT i wish i knew how to fix it. ghghrgurghrughruhg i want to fucking explode #and then you feel bad about feeling bad because you are fucking sisyphus. you're sisyphus. and your own anger is your boulder. you ingrate. #i hate this. i just wanted to have a good day. #jane mary cry one tear

[neversetyoufree]

Wait okay I need someone with more fluency in Japanese than me to weigh in on what I'm seeing here:

This is a word from a speech bubble on the lady Archiviste page of the VnC 58 teaser. The kanji there is the word "story," but the furigana spells out "world." It reads to me like she's simultaneously saying something like "the stories we've seen" and "the worlds we've seen."

Am I reading this right? Is there, like, cultural and linguistic context for this that I'm missing? Is this a pre-existing play on words? Or am I right that this is kind of implying that the speaker is equates the ideas of "story" and "world?"

I'll put the full page under the cut in case the context makes a difference.

#this immediately set my alarm bells off #I *think* I understand what she's going for here #but I'm always incredibly hesitant to base meta on japanese text without asking for clarification first #bc my understanding of the language is. rough at the best of times. #as evidenced by the fact that the last time I asked for a fact check like this. my translation was wrong #vnc #vanitas no carte #<<main tagging so people see it and can help me <3 #no alt text this time because. like. furigana #I'm sorry I don't have the brain cells right now to think of how to wrangle furigana into an english screenreader friendly format #not described #translation

[bumblingbabooshka]

Voyager insisting that Tuvok and Janeway never go into each others quarters - meanwhile I (the arbiter of truth) know for a fact that they are always in each others rooms, occasionally wrapped up in the same blanket, sometimes falling asleep in the same bed etc.

#Voyager writers are liars and cowards #they are best friends and by god...if I have /anything/ to say about it they're gonna be so comfortable and intimate with one another... #and I have a /LOT/ to say so v_v they are #Tuvok&Janeway are like...all other Vulcan-Human friendship goals to me and that's how I think of them interacting in my mind's eye #No one else can even touch Tuvok's shoulder without him looking like alarm bells are ringing but then you see #Janeway resting her chin on the top of his head and complaining about something which Tuvok replies to - getting a laugh out of her #Tuvok is Janeway's oldest friend and the only person she has an uncomplicated relationship with aboard Voyager and I want them to act likeit #She vastly outranks everyone else and Chakotay is Maquis + in love with her so that's complicated...Tuvok should be the guy she #can really just let loose and be herself with (especially earlier in their journey) #I love two people who seem to be (and are) very serious but when they get together they get a lil goofy with it #Everyone on Voyager thinks Janeway & Tuvok sit around drinking tea and being serious when they're alone together #but really they're hardcore goofing off (AFTER work is done of course) bc they really deserve it...life is hard in the delta quadrant #they deserve a little 'drink a milkshake as fast as you can in an unspoken competition to see who gets brain freeze faster' #st voyager #Tuvok #Janeway #Janeway only going to Tuvok for advice? BOO. Go to him so you can annoy your best friend with random bullshit

[lurking-latinist]

🐈

#ooh I have a lot of thoughts about Six and Charley and her mysteriousness and how he responds to it #but they intersect with my Six's Mental Health Thoughts which are extremely headcanony #and I know a lot of the fandom would rather just kind of wall off Twin Dilemma and assume Six's proper characterization doesn't include it #and I don't know that I blame them for that #but I like trying to make things fit together #and also there's no way to do that without probably misusing real-world mental health terminology #because (watsonian) the doctor is an alien with an alien brain and (doylist) the writers do not know all that much about psychiatry #but. at least for a bit after his regeneration he deals with paranoia right? #like that's the term the narrative uses. (and it clearly explains his attack on peri - he's perceiving her as a threat due to delusion) #& she says 'I'm not letting a manic depressive paranoid personality like you shut me up' & he objects specifically to 'manic depressive' #later in uhhhh revelation of the daleks? he doesn't tell her about a real danger #and he says 'I didn't want to burden you with what might have been a piece of paranoid speculation on my part' #again I cannot emphasize enough how much I am talking about a fictional character with fictional problems. I do not know psychiatry either! #I do not want to mislead #but one of this character's problems is that he has a badly calibrated sense of danger. sometimes he sees things as threatening that aren't #and sometimes he overcompensates for that #and I think when he first meets Charley he is really not very sure whether he should trust the alarm bells he's hearing or not #she seems deeply suspicious! but also nice? he wants to like her? but deeply suspicious! #'or am I just being crazy?' he asks himself #and so he just kind of... keeps watching her #also unrelatedly to all that I think he kind of likes having the excuse of Mystery for doing what he does anyway which is orbiting her #just slightly obsessing over his companion at the time even if he also occasionally forgets they're there #(he's just very all or nothing in everything all the time) #but yeah. you know how 11 gets about Clara and her Mystery Plotline? 6 is like that about every companion in turn anyway #so he doesn't actually mind having the excuse of Mystery with Charley #this is also why 6 and Clara is so compelling #(this was a tag essay in response to lrb but I decided it was opening too many cans of worms and needed its own post)

[clarabowmp3]

something deeply awful is about to happen. No I cannot give any more information.

#personal #alarm bells are in my brain but for what!!! I don’t know!!!!! 😀😀😀

[piplupod]

ALSO I'M LOSING MY MIND BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I'M EVEN GOOD AT SPOTTING THIS KIND OF THING. i am very gullible and not very smart or clever and yet ....... somehow,,,, this thing set off alarm bells for me. losing my mind. what is going ONNNN

#i hate AI generators so much for so many reasons #but one of the big reasons for me personally is that it fucks up my sense of reality fdsjkl #it triggers the ''you are dreaming'' alarm bells in my brain #and then i'm just a mess for the rest of the day or until i can properly reset things for myself #GRRR BARKBARKBARK #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[commander-ledi]

im lowkey interested in seeing the cutscenes in the "i can make him worse" path with astarion's romance, but based on what i have heard and read, i know that the chances that it contains something that is a trigger for me is way too high. so im just. not going to look.

#i have seen like 20 secs of one cutscene and it already got my brain's alarm bells ringing

[finalhaunts]

I’m convinced fictional AI tumblr have never actually read ihnmaims or even played the game because there’s absolutely no way the majority of fans think AM is fine as fuck with the type of shit he gets up to

#.txt #bro literally altered a womans brain to make her hypersexual #and in the game adaptation makes that same woman relive her rape trauma over and over and over again #and yet somehow the majority of people ive seen fawn over him……..? #this isnt me complaining’’liking AM is problematic!!’ btw. /I/ like AM. he’s my favorite character #he’s genuinely super compelling and i want to study him under a microscope #but if someone genuinely thinks he’s hot it triggers alarm bells in my brain. ya kno

[gurn]

twitch is giving me the authority over my own fate. I get to personally ban every currently live vtuber from ever appearing on my twitch.tv again

#i just think its whatever the opposite of neat is. i dont like it. sets off alarm bells in my brain