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possamble · 2 months

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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

#asks #she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too #with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect #and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive #but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards #I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi #you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent #and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too #not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat #but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment #and regrets it deeply #and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear #and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed #I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just #immediately arrives in Melini #and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out #and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille #on account of the crimes and all #marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down #'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood #but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear #and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately #it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking #and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance #marcilleposting #marcille donato #junoposting

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vampirepunks · 3 months

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Higgs Monaghan, "Beach Babies," and mind control

We know that the Bridge Baby dolls that Higgs and the Homo Demens used function completely differently than the human BBs invented by Bridges. But did you know they're also otherworldly vessels of extinction itself?

The novelization of Death Stranding suggests that these BB dolls from the Beach ("Beach Babies," as my husband and I refer to them) warp the minds of their users and bend human will towards the goal of extinction.

So... how many of Higgs Monaghan's decisions after meeting Amelie are his own?

The first thing to note is that Bridges BBs react negatively to the presence of these Beach Babies, as seen here when Sam encounters terrorists using them.

Lou does not like these things. Perhaps that's why she points the Odradek at Higgs during their first encounter with him?

The novel introduces us to a porter who visited the Evo-Devo Biologist (referred to as EV in the book) while equipped with one, a couple years before Sam's expedition. He was polite and overall pretty normal at first, but then on his next visit things get... weird.

So... there are holes in reality that using a Beach Baby allows you to see, and that's how the tar leaks from the Beach into the world of the living. Speculatively, this might be how Higgs is able to DOOMS-jump so easily and frequently (and summon tar), without getting exhausted or needing much focus at all, in addition to his level 7+ DOOMS.

Oh, but it gets weirder. And scarier, as soon as Extinction Entities are mentioned.

Wow... he sounds a lot like Higgs, doesn't he? Come to find out, Higgs gave it to him.

But surely this is just him echoing the party lines of Higgs' organization and repeating Higgs' same sentiments... right? Unless...

Important to note, this porter doesn't have DOOMS. He shouldn't be experiencing extinction nightmares, but his Beach Baby is showing them to him.

Whether directly or not, this thing talks to him. Like some eldritch call of the void or an element of a Lovecraft novel, it tells him that extinction is the only answer, the only solution.

EV is, understandably, instantly alarmed when she sees Sam with Lou, relating this story back to him. Sam is quick to connect the dots between that porter, the terrorists, Lou's terror at encountering these other BBs, and Higgs himself.

As they discuss further, a chiralgram recording from that porter begins to play, in which he takes credit for the voidout that killed Heartman's family and explains why he did it.

So then, how is Higgs affected by his own Beach Baby? From his perspective, it doesn't sound good.

We can infer a few things from this:

The Beach Baby acts as the vessel for Higgs' connection to Amelie and her Beach. By the nature of his powers, that's why he's able to DOOMS-jump constantly without getting exhausted, control BTs and timefall, and use telekinesis. Think of it like supercharging a battery; his powers are fueled by connection to the dead, and through Amelie, he's plugged into the dead of five mass extinctions, skyrocketing his DOOMS abilities to their maximum potential.

The Beach Baby (perhaps even Amelie directly, by using it) shows Higgs extinction nightmares beyond the scope of normal DOOMS nightmares, "speaking" to him and giving him forbidden knowledge that fills his mind with thoughts of extinction in terms of inevitability, even without Amelie telling him directly.

(Speculative): Higgs betrayed Fragile because of what the Beach Baby did to him, and perhaps doing so was Amelie's own will disguised as his idea. After all, he turned on Fragile immediately after connecting to the BB doll, severing his closest bond practically overnight. Further, Fragile states (at least in the book, I forget if she acknowledges this in the game or not) that it wasn't Higgs who prevented her from DOOMS jumping with the nuke in South Knot City, but "someone else," who she later determined to be Amelie. Amelie ensured that Fragile had no power in that situation, and that there was no way for her to escape without hating Higgs in the end. Personally, my reading is that Amelie wanted to be Higgs' only option and only remaining connection; she set herself up to be all he had left, the only thing he could focus on. It's easier to control someone who's isolated, scared, and alone otherwise, and would remove the risk of him having doubts about accepting extinction because he had nothing--and no one--left to lose.

(Speculative): The Beach Baby acts as a mind control utility. Whatever hopes, dreams, and beliefs a person has, this BB doll can override them and bend its user's will towards the goal of extinction instead, reshaping their ideology to fit the EE's goals. It's impossible to say how much of this control is direct and tangible, but it grants Amelie a high degree of influence over Higgs' inner world, removing any sense of rebellion against her or instinctive resistance to the concept of total human annihilation.

Established later in-text (too much content to cite and embed), Higgs experiences grandiose delusions surrounding his role in the extinction, falsely believing that he's the one in control, viewing himself as "the bridge that brings the extinction" and is destined to safeguard Amelie so mankind can meet its end. Despite the facts, he genuinely thinks it was all his idea, his plan, and he's the mastermind behind the whole thing, personally chosen by cosmic forces to deliver the apocalypse and usher in a new world after humanity is gone.

As soon as Higgs is disconnected from his Beach Baby by Fragile, his delusions completely shatter and he immediately reverts to cold, hard logic, albeit the kind steeped in self-hatred. His ego does an immediate 180 and he realizes, "it was all make believe,” and "a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and righteous fury. Signifying nothing." It hits him all at once: he was nothing but a pawn, a tool, a means to an end, played for a fool. Upon seeing the error of his ways, he can only lament how blind he was. The book decidedly doesn't kill him, instead leaving him on the Beach, "alone, without a person in the world to connect to," thinking, "this is how I'm meant to be," as he remains stranded "with nothing else to do but continue to confess his endless sins."

We'll never know how much of Higgs' mindset and atrocities were truly his own, while acting as Amelie's herald, and how much of it was solely based on Amelie's unseen influence. Just like Lady Macbeth, Higgs is both villain and victim to a greater evil, so to speak.

#the other thing is i don't think amelie fully understood the beach babies. just as bridges didn't understand BBs all that well #she just found them (the first one just Appeared to Bridget on the Beach. nailed to a giant crucifix. and she just. kept it)#but in conclusion i am obtaining a restraining order against amelie on my boy's behalf. i'm suing. emotional damage!!!!!!! abuse!!!!!!!!!!#poor higgs. he really didn't stand a chance. he could've been someone incredible but amelie really said 'i can make him worse'#i'm standing firm on the narrative that higgs is thematically an abuse survivor. not just regarding his uncle #amelie abused him emotionally and psychologically. but y'all ain't ready to talk about that :)#love love love higgs as the imperfect victim. trauma expression and survival is not always pretty or acceptable. it is ugly and violent.#higgs monaghan #death stranding #ds analysis #ds novelization #logan.txt

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dangerousdan-dan · 1 month

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One of my favorite John Constantine moments. The compassion behind that hug always makes me tear up.

Hellblazer #27

#this story is called “hold me” doesn't that make you feel things?#and the art style lands the feeling of coldness and isolation perfectly well #hellblazer was punk af. it gave us a John who hated the cops the bigots and the nazis and all the assholes who run the system #this run makes sure to comment on how cruel the system is towards homeless ppl (like Jacko) and poc #and the lgbtq+ community (hellblazer was published in the 80's when the aids crisis was at its worse)#actually this issue starts with john going to the funeral of a friend who was murdered because he was gay #I could go on an even bigger rant about why I love hellblazer and John with all his imperfections but maybe I'll leave that for later #john is a cynic but he cares and he can be an asshole but he's got a good heart and...#john constantine #hellblazer

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meteorstricken · 1 month

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I want to take a moment to speak frankly and somewhat personally. Historically, I've praised FFXVI for having an excellent trauma narrative, and for the most part, I still think that's true.

But in this moment, during the final fight with Ultima, I feel it falls short. Clive tells Ultima that he could have never known suffering and implies that if he had, as humanity has, that he'd know that suffering results in togetherness and strength.

In most trauma survivor communities, it's considered a grave taboo and even outright cruel to suggest that one owes their strength to suffering. It's considered a form of toxic positivity. In those selfsame communities, one anecdote you might hear repeated from a great number of trauma-informed clinicians is that part of what makes trauma so terrible is that survivors are not infrequently abandoned, sabotaged, or preyed upon as a direct result of the horrors that befall them--even blamed for it--and tragically, by the very shoulders that should have been there for support. By the very hands that should have lifted them up. That is, anguish and suffering often beget more of the same and bring alienation, despair, and learned helplessness.

Clive is wrong here about his well-supported experience being the norm, and he's dead wrong to connect togetherness and strength as symptomatic of having truly suffered. While I can certainly point to a cohesive string of story events that tell why he ultimately came to rely on this line of thinking, as a trauma survivor myself...this last fight always stings, because I invariably start to feel like I too am on the receiving end of his condemnation. Some of the things Clive says to Ultima are things that people have said to me in the past nearly verbatim. (I have since received apologies from those individuals as they've become better educated, but... their words still haunt me.)

That is no small part of where I found my "sympathy for the devil", so to speak.

And if you want an idea of what trauma recovery might sometimes come to feel like when, all too often, you've received the opposite of support--when the very people, communities, and institutions meant to ensure your survival and recovery have instead turned on you, betraying their intended purpose; when your strength and will to live renew or persist but by your own stubbornness and unwillingness to stay down...well...It's a thing that can wax bitter, counterdependent, and full of rage.

#ffxvi #ffxvi ultima #clive rosfield #When the protagonist misses the mark...#I've said before and I'll say again: I can only forgive this because Clive later reiterates that humanity are 'imperfect beings'#likely to live out a sorry tale of sin and suffering.#Clive's own admissions to being wrong at times and imperfect grants the player 'permission' not to take his word as 100% gospel truth.#Another case of doing/saying the wrong things for the right reasons...but damn it man. Did it have to be here?#Now I'm an Ultima fan-lady and it's all Clive’s fault.

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sofoulandfairaday · 7 months

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i can't decide which i like more:

the idea - very much canonical and in the author's original concept and view of magic - of the dark arts taking a toll on one's exterior and looks. tom riddle sacrificing his beauty willingly in the name of eternal life, black magic as something that innately corrupts. bellatrix escaping from azkaban with the barest vestiges of her ancient beauty. going from one of the most beautiful women in england to a shell of her former self and no amount of dark magic being able to fix it. and she just. doesn't care. goes from pretty, proud and vain in her youth, to the feverish, fanatical glow harry sees in the department if mysteries. finally she sheds the petal of the rose - look like the innocent flower, her master had once said - and only the thorns remain. the parallel with voldemort himself. the idea that they like each other better now, the only ones to like their respective new appearances better. bellatrix because she can taste the power radiating off him, because she knows how resentful he was of his old face. (oh, he's never said anything explicitly, he would rather be flayed alive than speak of his filthy muggle father to her, but she knew he didn't like himself, took no pride in his aesthetics, it was most unusual, really.) the dark lord because he's reminded of her sacrifice - she was the only one who didn't denounce him, who tried to find him - every time he looks at her. she gave up everything for him: her reputation, her family, her freedom, her health, her beauty, her youth.

or.

the horcruxes are an isolated case. not all prices to pay for power are physical. some dark magic sucks at your humanity, your emotional regulation, your empathy and gives back superficial little gifts. its roots are far from the deep anger, desperation to cling to life of an horcrux. these are ancient witches' remedies to be the most envied in the village. the idea that rotten cores hide behind the prettiest faces. and bellatrix was always vain, always took immense pride in her beauty, her black, pure features. when she escapes from azkaban she tries everything in her power to be herself once again. she still drips with obsession but gradually regains all of her beauty too. cruel people can still be beautiful. gorgeous people can still be inhuman. and yet there is something so human about a woman making her way through the ranks of a very militarised group and still caring so much about what she looks like, still having insecurities, being preoccupied with mundane things like age and decay - and hating it because he would hate it, he hates weakness, and still not being able to help herself. the dark lord was always a collector of shiny things, was he not?

#sorry for the ineloquent stream of consciousness. it's midnight i am exhaused and once again in a bellamort brainrot #better yet - bellatrix and her relationship with her gender is something that i find so fascinating and that few people explore properly #and the differences between bellatrix and voldemort and how they would perceive certain things (e.g. physical beauty)#being a children's book hp uses the very common trope that ugly = bad #the villains are all deprived of their good looks somehow #except in lockhart's case where he literally loses his wits (the whole point of his character - very dante-esque as a punishment)#and dark magic clearly takes a toll on your body #i like characters that are described as imperfect and that are forced to make sacrifices. would bella give this up for her master? yes.#would it be painful? i find that i like both versions of her.#bellatrix lestrange #lord voldemort #bellamort #bellatrix black

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