#alright i can accept it now

[delightfuldevin]

Just realized that they probably made Shiver’s outfit red for Splatoween cause she would’ve looked sick if she were green like her team color gdhdhgfh

#devin speaks #alright i can accept it now #its actually been bugging me this whole time cause obviously she looked suuuuuper cool but why was she red when her team was green??? #literally opposite colors??? #but yeah it makes sense if that was why she was red #and of course red was probably chosen for the red lycoris imagery since thats a common symbol of death in japan #still dont get why frye was purple though when big mans team was purple #only the tip of their tentacles were orange every other accent on them was purple #i guess purple is a better accent color for them but idk they shouldve switched team colors around or something in that case

[plulp]

IM NOT A DOCTOR BUT I THINK I MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP

#my art #dol #harper the doctor #HIIIIIIIIIIII HI EVERYONE 👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋 #its a little bit off so that makes me kinda upset :( but ill figure something out. it might be the colors :( #or maybe the spacing? i left a lot in the top left :( but its fine #and im going to use every lyric of that song for every harper piece i make so that i dont have to think about making captions okay? #but HERE. a HARPER PIECE YOU CAN REBLOG #i give them the stupid messy sidebun because its cute. to me. #im so sorry about the radio silence but i DID warn you all i get artblock often #but!!!!!! i was also accepted into a zine despite my lack of internet presence :) so ive also been busy with that and other stuff too #accidentally made this while practicing for the piece because i couldnt get the style right :( but hopefully ill get a better hold on it #anyways. harper is not a doctor and i love them so much it makes me sick #harper my EVERYTHING. hes my PRINCESS. #MY ANGEL. #i want you all to remember this isnt just an art blog. its a harper fanblog #ohhh but i do have a few few few announcements to make in my next post okay? so dont ignore it alright? kiss kiss love you #IM GONNA BE FUCKING SICK HES HOLDING THE SYRINGE WRONG. AND I CANT FIX IT NOW BECAUSE ITS BEEN RBED

[girls-and-honey]

.

#okay so random tag post even though it's been ages #me thinks the current place i work is actually decent a la accepting-queer-ppl so?? miiiiight. consider actually putting my #pronouns in my email signature (which hardly gets used but shh) but like. the actual ones not the society/people assume anyway ones #idk i attended a virtual tech focused event for trans dov (yes early but they didn't want to put the event on sun) and you know when #everyone is just sharing their stories and experiences and it's just like... an overwhelming sense of community? anyway that #and since it was hosted by a professional org the topics were all workplace focused and mayhaps that's something i'm thinking abt for #this year. at least within our pride group I might be ready? wild bc for a long time tumblr has been the only place I feel comfy being 100% #myself. but hearing real people's stories makes me feel like that kind of community would be nice to have elsewhere too #and the whole looking to others also turns around into the leading by example thing bc then we had some breakout groups at the end for #networking which is not my favorite but! i did my intro and said I use she/her for work but will use she/they for this group and #then the next person said he/him at work but for this group he/they so that made me wonder if it was bc of me saying so first? #which if it was is kind of like oh. the way I'm looking for those people for me.. I can also be that for someone else #anyway this sounds dumb typed out but irl/professional me has always separated out queer identity so it's new to me #i'm allowed to be giddy okay. just a little. as a treat (is tumblr still using 'as a treat' i really hope so) #oh shit is this what gender euphoria feels like #alright that's it for now i think #gah emotions and whatnot #missed you all btw i'll start actually being online again soon #personal

[b4kuch1n]

OOOUGGHAAAAAAA I DID IT I MANAGED TO DO INK WITH A DIP PEN

NEXT COMICS MEDIUM IS FUCKING SETTLED. YUUTO YOU WILL BE FED

#bakuspeech #hi I am Fucking Excite #litcherally. the last time I tried using any kind of dip pen it was a bamboo calligraphy pen #and I was. 18. the previous time I was 15 and even worse at it than then #fully went into this attempt already accepting I will probably be maybe marginally better #but!! it was pretty fun I did much okayer than expected!!!! #I need to be more confident with the pen but I can do that. I just need to do this a Lot #but like. I was Really scared. I didn't remember how a dip pen behaves at All #I tried freehanding some stuff before but it really is very different from a fineliner #half relieved my 200k vnd wont go to waste lmao. man. I was ready to bruteforce it #but I wont have to!!! as long as I have a decent concrete sketch!! itll be alright!!!! #yuuto origin comic is a fucking go. I WILL do this. mom I AM going to be a mangaka #well. a doujinka perhaps #dgsjdjjs sorry Im just. this is 13yo baku's unattainable dream!! part of why I #turned to wholesale digital art and eventually brush inking was because dip pens were #deeply scary and messy to me back then. I got ink Everywhere #now I didnt even make a spare fleck on this one!!! I can do it now!!!! dreams do fucking come true!!!!!! #literally bringing this piece of scrap around showing everyone like a kid who got perfect score on a test lmao #Im just. Im happy guys. Im so!!! auuughghhhh #I'll practice more tonite. I will Get Better At This. I will scribble a bunch more of yuuto #to get used to the style. I need a buncha outfit refs anyway #have a good day!! holds u hand everything is possible. try something u didnt have the chance to be good at as a kid again #life is fucking good sometimes!!!!!

[bunnihearted]

📓🖊️

#maybe maybe one day i'll be ok?? #maybe i'll manage to get my high school diploma #maybe i'll get a student housing apartment in another city. maybe i can study to become a pre school teacher... #(not my dream job but the only job that seems possible for me) #maybe i'll be able to work on my anxiety and avpd and become more calm #maybe i'll be able to exercise the way i want nd become physically strong #maybe i'll be brave enough to try apps to make girl friends i can hang out with??? #maybe i'll get back into writing nd posting it. maybe i'llhave more fun w insta and taking photos again?? #maybe i'll fix my relationship w my sisters nd talk to them again?? #maybe if im lucky i'll meet someone who i fall in love w who falls for me too? maybe someone will one day choose to be with me?? #maybe i can get a real apartment nd have a job? maybe i can even live w a partner one day? and maybe i'll have friends? #maybe i wont be all alone forever?? maybe i wont feel this alienated nd isolated for my entire life?? #maybe maybe maybe my life can be alright....? can it really be? #i dont have much hope. but maybe??? plz plz plz let it be so let it be so #and maybe for now.. as im lower than i've ever been before.. #maybe i just need to be able to eat more normally again. then i can have my coffe chocolate moments w youtube #and i can watch kdramas nd have dinner. which are two moments that make me feel ok nd calm #<<< i feel ashamed abt it but comforting eating is a thing for me. im gnna be alone 4ever anyway so might aswell just accept thats how i am #so yeah maybe maybe i'll start feel a bit better when i can disconnect from everything nd just get immersed in a kdrama nd have dinner lmao #idk. i just dont feel like i'll ever have a real life. i'll never have what i dream abt (which isnt even much. just love.. just love lmao) #so then i can daydream nd live by reading books nd watching kdramas nd tv shows nd also write a lot #but ofc in my freetime bc i need a job w a stable income nd my own apartment. even if i dont love my job i need one that i can be ok with

[nateriverswife]

writing about an A and a B that are so different from the common idea people have about them in this fandom is both a blessing and a curse, because now I see all the posts talking about them as basically puppets with no free will and I have to remind myself that they are not my A and B. because mine not only are older than L and first met him at the Wammy's but also enjoyed the idea of becoming this detective L planned to create. like, L showed them what he can do and what he can teach them. and they both accepted it because "hell yeah, sign me up". they had different visions on how that's going to work for them, and they also kind of helped him set up the successor programme because in my mind, there's no way that L would start his career - he's overly confident that he'll become a great detective in no time - without a solid foundation that can make the detective persona live forever. basically, I changed them in this way cuz i want them to be the responsible for their own downfall, since it's a common theme in death note

#even the wammy's house is different from what people say cuz I had to plan it out completely and make it make sense #so I had to decide the grading system before A's death - the activities - what kids are accepted (age 5 and up) and so on #rules - the entry exam - the other school related activities and much more #so I have a clear view of what's going on in my opinion #and while it's still emotionally neglectful and kids there are not alright #they are aggressive and even if I set up the first like 3 grades to be about social norms and whatnot #that just turned against me because I now realise that most of them don't learn how to live with others #but that lying and cheating the system is alright as long as they advance lmao #but that's not my fault anyway #and while all of that #it's not the hell on earth that most people say it is #I find myself writing more about the kids playing with each other and doing whatever they want than them trying to get at the top #because that's not their priority - except a few exceptions - since they are young #and even in mello's and near's case - Mello was the only one who was like obsessed with being first #the others didn't care that much #cuz all they see is that they live in a good place that provides for them and other than compulsory school work #they can just play and indulge in their hobbies freely cuz I don't think Watari nags them to be at the top #death note #wammy's house #beyond birthday #quillish wammy

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Girls when the end of Sketchbook Week fills them with a melancholic yet unimaginable gratefulness and a contradictory nostalgia for the present moment. Girls when the feeling of community that was already there was enhanced by an event and they're emotional over people on their phone

#you guys. fucking broke me #like yeah I KNEW everyone here was awesome and kind and sweet and talented #but there's something about the organized coming together of it #it feels like the internet equivalent of everyone accepting to hang out together outside of just seeing each other in school/work #to everyone who commented/reblogged my works or just interracted in some way with me during this week #I hope you know how incredibly grateful i am. I hope you know I think of you as a friend (ESPECIALLY the mutuals) #I've never taken more comfort in the saying 'shows end. But fandoms last forever' #but I hope you know you can reach out even when you no longer think too much about hilda #I'm just. so humbled. Like this common interest brought all these amazing people together. Now we can stick by each other #even when there's no longer this common denominator #(which is going to take me a WHILE to leave behind either way don't know about you) #anyway. yeah. I'm happy to share these moments of my life with you people. you are alright [I say as I bawl my eyes out] #wife speaks #not hilda

[todayisafridaynight]

To be fair though, we have to appreciate that Yakuza 7 gave us the perfect tantrum tossing everything handed to him in life and he can't appreciate it for shit PERFECT politician character. (Negating his very legitimate childhood disabilities, he gets a pass there. Speaking of Aoki specifically as a whiny power hungry adult)

i think the solidifying moment for me to confess to myself that i liked aoki was the fact if ichi dodges his attack during his fight he throws a literal actual foot-stomping-and-all tantrum like THAT is actually peak shit right there

#snap chats #im lying i liked him the second masato rolled out the elevator but if you wanna be technical the hospital scene had me a lil unwise #SORRY anyway #he's also just. the ultimate playground to explore psychologically #like it's so easy to understand why he does the things he does and you can see it so clearly in how he talks and how he acts #i cant feel bad for him but i can understand why hes like this and its sad when i do acknowledge it #but then he acts a fool and im rolling up my sleeves like Alright Yk What It's Socially Acceptable For Me To Hit You Now #constantly fighting mine for the number-one-antagonist spot in my heart #theyre both so funny but theyre both genuinely interesting antagonists #also theyre both smart. i like it when smart :) #book smart anyway theyre very stupid otherwise 💀

[arthur-r]

(wrote this song before i left for college but it’s sure applicable to life right now!!!!)

lyrics: falling from grace, i’m a rusting lace artifact / tears down my face as i break my immortal pact / trust me, i want to be healthy / trust me, i want to be special and loving and sweet / trust me, i know that i’m broken / please, i just want one more chance to prove that i could be the— / best friends know how to reveal me / best friends know how hard i try to have something to say / best friends know that it’s not helping / can i just go far away to where there’s nowhere else to— / turn around, up and down, i’m melting!!!! / turn around, i have something to say!!!! / color bleeding, heartbeat leaving, need a place to lay my head / arms are folded, fine print bolded, everything is overloaded!!!!!!!! / color faded by the sun, i bite my tongue, i’m coming undone / color faded by the sun, i bite my tongue, i’m coming undone / color faded by the sun, i bite my tongue / trust me, i want to be healthy / trust me, i want to be special and loving and sweet / trust me, i know that i’m broken / trust me, i know that i’m broken….

#when i write a song and don’t know what it means and then i have a breakdown and suddenly know what it means #turns out i have been compartmentalizing since i was a VERY young child as if there are two parts of me completely separate #and one of them is this golden child perfect person always so ready to please #and the other one is a literal fucking monster. that’s how i’ve been thinking about myself since i was a little kid #and i sort of. i had a breakdown about that last week and then yesterday i was so upset about not being able to separate myself from illness #how i’ve always been treated and treated myself as if there’s a perfectly healthy person in there somewhere who is just plagued with demons #so i’m constantly reaching for this person that doesn’t exist and never has and never will #because i can’t accept myself as a whole being complete with good and bad parts of me #it’s also just autism/POTS venting shdhdhdf but i knew that much #it wasn’t until i thought about my childhood though that i realized i’ve always been autistic i’ve always had mobility issues (though less) #and that i have never let myself integrate those aspects of myself into my permanent identity. like i’m waiting for them to go away so i can #prove myself and show how good i can be at just being normal. so i don’t know. anyway here’s a song #P.S. i processed my emotions so good and i’m normal now. gonna get dinner with that guy today and have a normal person conversation #so don’t worry about me. i pretty much fell asleep after i posted and i’m doing a lot better now #anyway i’m not great at this instrument shdhdf and i’ve also been crying so like as a piece of music this isn’t great #but as an expression of a feeling and idea. these are the feelings and ideas i’ve been thinking about #of all the things to theoretically be overheard by a ton of neighbors though. living in a dorm is nerve-wracking!!!! #most people don’t hang around my dorm at this time of day though i’ll be alright. hope everyone is doing well #me. my post. mine. #ask to tag #music

[eohachu]

as someone who mostly only comes out to other queer people, 99% of the queerphobia directly directed at me has been coming from queer people. it doesn't even happen rarely. the first queer person I came out to aside from my bestie was a trusted friend. you know what she said? sO yOuRe Bi ToO nOw?? as if it was some trend. it took her a long time to accept that I was queer, much longer than say my (supposedly cishet) parents.

on another occasion another lesbian friend looked down on me for not knowing my sexuality until my 20s. internalised queerphobia is a bitch and unfortunately it hurts queer people in spaces that are supposed to be safe.

I'm not defending Jim here, I just want to make clear that for a lot of people aggression coming from other queers is a very real experience. so maybe in your eyes it doesn't make sense (congrats, maybe you never experienced a situation like this), but to me it very much does and is nearly 100% in character. Jim wants to protect Li Ming so much that he absolutely does not realise how it hurts him. Like we speak about the cycle of abuse/violence/trauma all the time irl - voilà, there it is.

I believe that Jim will resolve or at least begin to resolve his internalised issues by the end of the drama. And you can like or dislike this writing choice, but at this point of the story and with the relationship between Jim and Li Ming that we've seen so far in mind, it's neither ooc nor does it generally not make sense that a queer person exerts queerphobic aggression towards another queer person. thanks for coming to my ted talk

#. sorry for the slightly pissy tone #. when ppl said it didn't make sense i felt very un-seen so that's why i had to make this post #. also ppl need to learn to accept that their fav characters can be flawed... i still like Jim bc #. i can see what he's going thru 24/7 and bc i see a big potential for character development #. alright that's all for now bye #r watches #moonlight chicken spoilers #moonlight chicken meta #r.txt

[starbuck]

guy who has only ever read Sophocles’ Philoctetes consuming their second piece of media: “getting a lot of Philoctetes vibes from this…”

#this is a gross oversimplification - i ALSO like to compare things to the Elektra and the Ajax :)) #and the Oresteia - obviously - but that goes without saying #but smth about the Philoctetes idk… #it is uniquely compelling and hard not to see Everywhere once you start looking #i need to reread it #and a lot of things honestly #maybe some different translations to mix it up #i should read that one extra gay Iphigenia in Tauris translation again… that was a good time #okay wait sidebar but remember when the tenderqueers got ahold of that one Anne Carson Orestes & Pylades quote #and then got SO offended when they found out they were cousins and were trying to cancel Euripides and shit?? #i really do think that an underlooked piece of comedy in all of this is that Pylades goes on to marry Orestes’ SISTER #you know… Also His Cousin… #and Orestes ALSO marries one of his female cousins #that is LITERALLY how that play ends #but i didn’t hear anyone getting upset about that… can’t imagine why… #they can accept heterosexual cousin marriage but draw the line at homoerotic cousin love declarations… alright then… 😂😂 #sorry - this is completely irrelevant - it’s just still SO funny to me… #the irony of it all… #it’s hysterical #this was like three years ago now and i’m still not over it

[obstinaterixatrix]

caught between looking wistfully at a series I dropped ages ago like ‘you would be so good if you weren’t absolutely fucking dogshit terrible’ & looking dispassionately at a series I’m currently following like ‘there’s nothing that could possibly elevate this beyond vaguely subpar’

#orlbs #misclb #I should drop the second series I’m not getting anything out of it #okay if I’m thinking about it #the one single possibility of a spark it has #which is the only reason why I was keeping up with it #is that there’s an interesting dynamic of mc having had a Mega Crush Since Forever Ago on li #but being more passive and not really pursuing (or even accepting) of a relationship between them #which puts li in the position of being more desperate for the attention of a guy who’s already head over heels for him #however there is nothing particularly charming about mc or li. utterly charmless leads. #and while the theoretical relationship dynamic has potential the execution feels very flat and shallow #alright I’ve exorcised it I can drop the series now

[noxtivagus]

that spoken word i wrote back in gr 9 for english class about relating to the moon is still to relevant in the present n i love it so much

#🌙.rambles #i'm still proud of being able to write smth like that back then #i was relating us all to the moon w our imperfections n beauty but #i loved how around the end i wrote like. 'we don't have to be as beautiful as the moon' bcs 'we're only human after all' #i really love the thought in that. being the kind of people that we humans r capable of being bcs we're mortals #'the world is vast and the night is still young.' #honestly wnvr i think about how fast time's going by. when i look deep into my heart n soul i still see a young dreamer #no matter how old i get i aspire to always keep those dreams n words alive. #if i keep the curiosity of the kid with me then i think i'll be able to really learn n understand life in the way that best defines me #i love the poetry in this spoken word tho of #relating ourselves to these celestial beings. but in the end it's incomparable yet bcs we're human. n that's enough. that's alright #one day i hope to be well enough to write again. i do write from time to time but i'm a bit tired to really complete stuff #that's alright. i can be kind to myself. it's enough to go at our own pace #it hits different reading old stuff from before bcs i wld rlly just dream #but as i'm growing older n older i see how it reflects more n more on my reality #'before I know it / it’s already dawn.' i wrote that metaphorically back then but now i literally even stay awake till dawn ;; #even in pain i always write about how beautiful the world is. n that makes me realize that i'm still a kind n good person at heart #i do need to work on accepting my faults n a healthier n kinder manner but. yeah. i love people like me after all. #there's a reason why i love the moon so much as well. it's just rlly so poetic n beautiful to me #around the world there's ppl i've met n known that have associated me (a stranger from somewhere out there in the world) w the moon #i'm thinking abt life again n how beautiful it is. of all its possibilities n of all the connections n meaning we make #n us all as well. i know for me i really am a dreamer at heart. i'll always keep that. even if i'm weird or wtvr then who cares? #i'll be myself. /i/ am the one in control of my life n i'll decide how i choose to see my world. and live the way i want #sure it's lonely bcs most ppl out there aren't like us in this particular way but. we'll find that comfort. we deserve that. #who are we to be confined and restrained in this wide vast world? #how tragic it is to wish to hide. we don't have to be so open but we're all deserving of being known and understood #aaaa i'm probably still gna be a bit distant bcs i'm tired still but that's alright! it's ok to focus on myself! #i'll do the rest when i'm ready. for now this is the next step i choose to take. small steps at a time. that's enough for now. #oh yeah this is the certain peace in myself i feel that makes me perform my best. i feel like myself again right now #n honestly all this keeps on cycling n repeating but it's alright. i learn more each time. n i'll keep on forging ahead unto tomorrow

[29121996]

.

#my ego fighting tbis mindset change is so funny like . #why do u wanna suffer . why cant u accept the alternative. #i can putnitndown to like 3 reasons but srill . dont be mean ? #and the more inlike . can Feel the shifr happening the more i do wanna fight it bc #ive now grown accustomed to wtv life im living i sont wanna shake that . but Also #idk i feel insane n all of this is wild n injust . feel like a 16yr old girl again #but not negatively . #genuinely the fact that i can somehow have a crush on someoneninwas once ib love w is #yea Alright. n its based on Physical bullshit bc ive said 10words to him. but iv elistened to some conversatuons hes had . #n paid way too much attention to his pool games 4 it to b healthy . #im not mad sbt this predicamwnt bc i do also habe a weird feeling for my cowofker #who is also Very Unnattaonable too. but its chill im okay w this AFIDJDK #bc like . i do like wbat im doing w my life i do like . being single n having infatuations w ppl #its weird ones my ex n the others my cowkrker like thats a Little Fucked Up. #but . im not gonna . overthinl it . or like stress myself outnover it i literally CANT #i wanna smash my head intona wall . i cant even vlame this on bding isolated bc im taljing to a LOT of ppl #like im Out n About All The Fucking Time i am nrver Not socialising atp. but my God i am Insane . #theres also this constant wave of fucking giddyness wasging over me every so often like . Chill. #what do i Subconsciously know rhat my . comscious Doesnt. #n right as i start thinling abt that the All Too Familar stomach tug n throat close happen oh my god what is going ONNNN #anywat its fine its fine .

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #if I can make it through the next two weeks I'll be alright. but damn if it isn't gonna be rough #court date next week and dr appointment the week after. but then I'll be back on track with changing my name and then getting hrt #big changes. but changes I need. changes I tried to start back in February. #I try to have yearly goals. big overarching themes and shit. 2022 was just getting away from my patents and accepting being trans #and then it ended up being a year for processing old trauma. which uhh. really culminated in the February attempt to end all that shit #but February was the start of the new year for me. the start of getting all that personal work externalized. being out and unapologetic #the move this summer has thrown things a little out of shape but I'm working to get it back on the rails #if I can get things sorted by the end of this year then next year is the start of forever for me. #it really will be a “first day of the rest of our lives” vibe. new name. finally getting the meds I need. idk exactly how hrt will go though #I need to do independent research to see if I need to go through health provider or if I can find a clinic independently #been meaning to do that for a hot while but I have been so overwhelmed with other stuff I haven't had the energy. #but like. looking back it hasn't been bad. I was afraid I would lose this year to the move. but that's adhd time blindness speaking #even if it takes four months to move and mentally recover that leaves eight still. that's still a lot of time. I have time to work with #every day I'm still alive is a day I have available to get done the things I want to in order to live happily. #sure I'm damaged as fuck. but that doesn't mean I can't get some good work done. I can make friends and have fun and help people #idk. I'm still in a melancholy state from the heavy dissociation I experienced on edibles. I think I might not do that again #losing control of my head isn't great because my default is suicidal and depressed which isn't super pogchamp of me #I'm gonna do it again once more just to have a second experience because a single data point isn't good data so I want two. #but I don't expect to want to do it anymore. I wonder if the high amounts of stress and anticipation I'm experiencing right now affect it #of course it would. prior mental state of going to affect the trip. that's kinda obvious I guess. maybe I try it again in two weeks #anyway. life keeps going and there is no expectation to fall behind on. falling behind means there's an acceptable pace. which is false #well. that's not true. capitalism and all that. there's a minimum pace for somebody. but that's where community comes in to help I guess #I'm rambling now. bye I'm gonna go take a shower and be really sad about having a dick and balls #it's tragic cause they're really nice dick and balls too. Just not for me. I wanna be a cool guy without even a single ball to his name #is that too much to ask? I just wanna be a man who's a woman who's a man but in a different way than the first time he was. #also. I'm tired of straight guys on dating apps hitting me up. like bro I know you're just gonna want to view me as a woman. no deal #bro is gonna have to be at least a little gay. cause I am not gonna swing like that. better be at least a little bi #some dude's bio was like “let me love the woman inside of you” and like. no thanks please go obsess over femininity somewhere else #straight guys who include nonbinary in their profile because they really just see it as woman 2: gender boogaloo ☠️

[yuukiiqwq]

Satoru Gojo was more than ready to propose to you. For you to be his pretty little wife. For you to take his last name. To see you walk down the aisle in a white dress. He has spent weeks picking out a ring for you. Weeks finding the perfect place to propose. Weeks just for this moment. He knows you'll say yes.

Today was the day he would propose. He had everything all set up and ready. The ring box is in his pocket. He just needs to come home to you and get you ready for the date. He had long made a promise to himself. He'll make you happy because you are the world to him.

He then felt a vibration in his pocket from his phone, immediately snapping him out of his thoughts. He opened his phone to see that Shoko had called him. He accepted the call and was about to ask Shoko what she needed before she interrupted him.

"Satoru."

Satoru immediately freezes. Shoko had never called him by his first name. It was always Gojo.

"Come to my office," was the only thing Shoko said before ending the call. Her voice was shaking.

Dread filled Satoru's body. A chill was sent down his spine. Something was wrong, so he immediately teleported to Shoko's office. He was greeted with the sight of Shoko, his students, and you. The students' eyes red from crying. Shoko is unable to look him in the eyes. You covered in blood. Your curse energy completely diminished. Your lifeless body is on the table.

Oh. Oh.

"I'm sorry, sensei! It's all my fault!" Yuji apologies as he cries.

"She saved us." Nobara whispered as she continued to wipe her endless tears.

"We let our guard down." Megumi looks down. He was holding in his pain. "It's my fault. I was careless. They were wrong about–"

Satoru doesn't register the rest of Megumi's word. His ears were ringing, and his vision was blurring. A void in replacement of his heart. The ring in his pocket felt a lot heavier. He stares at your body before closing his eyes. He then turned toward his students with a smile.

"Hey, hey! It's alright, guys. It's not your fault. It was an accident! Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault at all. How about you guys take the next few days to relax! I'm sure this was very traumatic for you to lose a teacher in front of your eyes!"

"Gojo–" Megumi started, but he was pushed out the door with his friends before he could utter another word.

"Here, take my card and buy some stuff to help you take your mind off this, yeah? You guys need rest!" Satoru says as he closes the door. He's glad that he has his blindfold on so the students couldn't see the grief and pain in his eyes. He waited until he could no longer sense their curse energy before turning around towards you and Shoko.

"Shoko. Can you leave too? Just for a bit?" He asked. No. He pleaded. His voice was no higher than a whisper. He can't cry yet. Not in front of anyone but you. He's the strongest.

Shoko nodded and walked towards the door. "I'm sorry, Satoru. I tried to save her. I know today was suppose–" Shoko stopped before she finished the sentence. She bit the bottom of her lips before apologizing once more and then left.

Now, Satoru was left alone in the room with your lifeless body. He took off his blindfold and walked up to you. He held your once warm hand in his. He caressed your cheek as the tears that he was holding back finally fall down his face. He was going to propose to you today. You were supposed to be his wife. You were supposed to be with him until the day he died. But now... he would no longer see you. Your smile. Your laugh. You would no longer be smiling at him. In his arms. In his embrace. He wouldn't get to see your beautiful eyes open. Your voice. He wouldn't be able to hear your love for him. He won't be able to hear your "I love you, Satoru." You would no longer call his name. Oh, how he loved his name coming from your lips. It was supposed to be one of his happiest days. If he could only go back to yesterday. Where you were still in his arms, the two of you whispering your love to one another. Kisses being exchanged. Where you were still warm and alive. Where he can still stretch out his hand and reach you.

Fate loves taunting him with his loved ones. It loves to ruin him. To tear him apart. To rip his heart out and shred it to pieces because he's the strongest. So he'll always fail to protect the ones he loves. Fate is laughing at him because he is a joke. Fate is celebrating his grief. He has losted and fate has won again.

He doesn't know how much time has passed. Him next to your lifeless body, praying that you would just wake up. He wants to join you. Join you in the afterlife. To see you. To be with you. But he can't. He knows you'll never forgive him if he did. He still has his students to look after. A world to save. A revenge to sought after. He wiped his tears away because you would hate seeing him cry. He kissed you gently for the last time and whispered his eternal love towards you and a "I'll see you soon."

He then reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring. Your ring. He slipped it onto your ring finger and asked– "Will you marry me?"

A yes forever unspoken.

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