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let-it-raines · 5 years

Text

Unraveling the Thread

Returning home is never something anyone wants to do when they've been trying to leave for their entire life, but it seems to happen to most everyone. It's just not something Emma ever thought would happen to her. But after getting let go from her job and refusing to work in another office answering phones for the next ten years of her life, she moves back home to Storybrooke and has to deal with all of the loose threads that she left behind.

It's easier said than done. She's still going to do it.

Rating: Mature

Found on AO3 | Here |

A/N: Because I have a million other things to do, I obviously wrote a one-shot. I hope you guys enjoy the product of my lack of sleep 💕

Tagging my usual peeps: @resident-of-storybrooke @mayquita @wellhellotragic @captainsjedi @bmbbcs4evr @jennjenn615 @ekr032-blog-blog @kmomof4 @onceuponaprincessworld @thejollyroger-writer @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings @cs-forlife

Everything is exactly the same.

Granny’s diner still rests in the center of a strip of stores, the bright blue paint noticeably having been touched up lately to go with all of the other brightly colored stores that Storybrooke’s city council obviously thinks will pull in tourists when they inevitably roll into town each summer. If she remembers correctly, it does work. She worked as a waitress enough summers to know that her tips definitely increased once summer break started, and as much as she appreciated the money, she didn’t appreciate the people that were constantly taking her parking space or telling her that if she smiled more, she’d get more customers.

Assholes.

They would also make comments about her ass, and well, despite the fact that she has a damn good one, that’s a little thing call harassment.

It’s a miracle she never punched anyone.

There are already people filtering in and out of the diner despite it being only five in the morning on a Saturday, and she quickly drives by so no one will see her. She’s fine coming home to see her parents, but she doesn’t want to see anyone else. Not yet. Maybe later once she has a few shirts on hangers and a toothbrush in the bathroom, but not before that. She needs more time to mentally prepare herself to see everyone again. It’s only been since Christmas, but really, all she did for those three days was spend all of her time inside her parents’ living room eating sweets her mom had baked and watching old Christmas movies long into the night until even the streetlights outside turned off.

And this trip isn’t for three days. It’s for three months at least. Maybe more. She honestly has no idea, but when you get let go from the job you’ve had as investigator for auto insurance company for the past five years with nothing else lined up that actually pays the bills, there aren’t a lot of options. Living with her parents again wasn’t what she preferred, but she couldn’t take another job as a secretary or a phone operator trying to sell people weight loss pills that are probably pretty unhealthy.

Her dream job is obviously not an option.

She’s not sure if she has a dream job.

She used to want to be a cop like her dad, but that was when she was five and also wanted to be a ballerina in space. Her thoughts and wants weren’t exactly the most well thought through. And then she never really figured it out. Her parents put her on the fast track to going to college and getting a degree that would supposedly allow her to make more money and be able to get out of Storybrooke.

Considering her mom is a third-grade teacher on every committee board ever created and her dad is the sheriff, it’s surprising that leaving was ever an option.

And if she thinks about it, it really wasn’t. Yeah, she could leave for four years, get a degree, and then come back to work at a business in town that would have hired her regardless of her qualifications (nepotism is a thing). But that was the thing. She was always supposed to come back.

And seven years after leaving, she is.

Except she has no college degree.

She’s not even close to having one. She’s got a semester’s worth of credits in classes like English comp and pre-algebra and things she’s likely never going to use in her entire life. She’d made the Dean’s list at NYU that one semester too, but then, like the oldest story in the world, she’d met a boy.

She met a boy who was a few years older than her, infinitely wiser, and just as charming as she had ever known anybody to be. Neal was her entire world. He shouldn’t have been, but he was. Her mother spent her entire life talking about how love is the greatest gift in life, the greatest privilege, and how if Emma ever found it, she should hold onto it like her life depended on it.

What her mother didn’t tell her was that first loves are not always good loves, even if there’s the occasional exception.

In all fairness, Mary Margaret Nolan most likely doesn’t know that. She grew up as an only child in a small town and met the love of her life on the first day of sixth grade. The only love her mom has ever known has been her dad, and as wonderful as that as, as in love as her parents are, Emma’s learned that sometimes the lessons her mom taught her are not great lessons.

Exercise a few times a week, never pluck your eyebrows too thin, sure. Think that the first boy who tells you you’re pretty and who sleeps with you is the love of your life, not so much.

Because unlike her dad, Neal was not some standup guy who sticks around and lives by some kind of moral code that everyone should live by. Be kind to others, don’t murder someone, wash your hands after you go to the bathroom, et cetera. And it’s not that Neal was a murderer. God, she hopes not. It’s that he was a cheater who she left college for to move to Boston with because he convinced her that he could give her a better life than living in a cramped dorm room and spending her days studying. He was a cheater and also a thief, apparently fencing expensive jewelry and stolen goods to fund that better life, and she only found all of that out when she told him that she might be pregnant and he bolted in the middle of the night and the other woman who he was dating showed up at their apartment looking for him.

She found out the theft stuff later when she was nearly arrested because he tried to frame her for his crimes.

Newsflash. She wasn’t pregnant, and she sure as hell didn’t commit any crimes.

But she did give up her entire life, things that even though she wasn’t sure she really wanted, she had worked for. And as much as it’s taught her, as much as she’s changed because of it, she regrets ever leaving New York.

She regrets giving up her life because she was convinced that her love would last forever, and she would never need anything else.

It didn’t even last two years.

She never made it back to New York. She stayed in Boston, finding random jobs that would pay the bills until she got her job as the insurance fraud investigator and moved in with Anna and Elsa, two sisters who were going to freaking Harvard of all places. There she was barely scraping by, and she was roommates with people who went to Harvard. It worked, though. They were always busy studying or attending events, and she could slip in and out without really having to talk to them too much or explain why she was their age but decidedly a little lost.

Her parents weren’t talking to her at the time, and if her own parents weren’t talking to her, why would she want to talk to anyone?

But she did eventually talk to her parents again and talk to her roommates. She became friends with them actually, and even after they both graduated and moved away, she stayed close with them. With everything that has gone on in her life, she’s at least thankful that she’s gotten to be close with Anna and Elsa.

When she lost her job, Elsa had offered to let her live with her in New York, and even though it’s a big city, she couldn’t go back.

Which is why she’s here pulling into her parents’ driveway, the two of them visible in the kitchen through the front window. They’re likely drinking coffee and talking about all of their plans for today even though it’s Saturday and the perfect day to stay home. Or they’re talking about her. She’d bet that they’re talking about her.

She’s a fascinating conversation piece.

And that’s why she takes at least fifteen minutes to regulate her breathing and prepare herself for all of the fawning that her parents are going to do.

That her mom is going to do.

She loves her, but she’s not nearly as good as her dad at understanding that Emma needs her space sometimes.

It’s exactly thirty five steps from her car to the front door, and she’s barely inside the entryway when her mom is wrapping her in a hug so tight that all of the air escapes her legs and her ribcage bruises a little bit. It’s too much, but she wraps her arms around her mom’s waist and holds on as tightly as she can regardless.

“I’m so glad you’re here, sweetie.”

“Me too,” she lies. “Why are you guys up this early?”

“Because we’re waiting for you,” her dad answers her, flashing her a grin before he’s hugging her too, cupping the back of her head with his palm. He smells like the cologne he’s been wearing for her entire life, and that feels good too. “How was your drive? What’d you do? Not sleep?”

“Pretty much,” she shrugs. “Can I get some of that coffee?”

-/-

It’s weird regressing back to a teenager in her hometown over the next few weeks, March fading into April, the weather warming with each day. The exact thing she didn’t want was to work as a waitress again, to really fall back into old habits, but at least she’s not working at Granny’s. She’s working at Storybrooke Country Club as server in their clubhouse, and even though she has to deal with old men all day, at least they tip well.

Most of the time.

Some of the people who used to tell her to smile at Granny’s are these same people, and she can feel their judgmental eyes on her as she’s back at home serving them food. She’d think that people would understand someone working as a waitress doesn’t make them less of a person, but some people never learn.

The tips, she reminds herself. And it’s something to do, something to occupy her time and give her money while she tries to figure out her life. It’s something that’s not being stuck in an office as a secretary or a temp.

But it is temporary.

So she’s working as a waitress, sleeping in her teenage bedroom, and after her shifts, she eats with Ruby at Granny’s for dinner, the grilled cheese tasting just the same. She really is somehow going back to the past like Marty McFly, except this isn’t nearly as exciting. Plus, she has this weird need to ask her parents if she can go out late to meet Ruby for dinner.

She’s twenty-five years old.

She doesn’t have to ask her parents for permission even though she’s living with him.

The weirdest thing, however, is seeing Killian Jones again.

She takes that back.

The weirdest thing is seeing Killian, and Killian not talking to her.

Last week they had a particularly busy day in the clubhouse, and she picked up an extra shift to help out and to get overtime. She was tired. It was her day off. She shouldn’t have been there. But she was, and she dealt with it, smiling and asking all of the right questions to the patrons, especially those who she knows are members.

And that’s when she saw him. Except, she didn’t see him until it was far too late.

She was bringing a table their glasses of water for Ashley while she was in the kitchen, and she didn’t pay any attention to the slight flip of hair underneath a clean navy hat or the tattoo peeking out underneath the short-sleeved shirt. She didn’t pay attention to any of it, so when she saw those familiar blue eyes, the ones that she’s always remembered, she dropped the entire tray of ice cold water on the table, the floor, and his white pants.

His white pants.

That were...thin.

That was bad enough, but then she started patting down his thighs with a cloth towel, and that caused all kinds of issued before he grabbed her wrists, looked her in the eyes for an extended thirteen seconds (she knows because she counted), and then he got up and left.

She’s seen him since then, but he hasn’t spoken to her. And she knows that it’s not because she spilled water on him and then felt him up while trying to dry him off.

He apparently works at the harbor, which doesn’t surprise her. What does surprise her is that he’s in charge of tourism for the summers, specifically making sure that there are plenty of boats to rent and that no one docks where they’re not supposed to. According to Ruby, he plans activities at the public pool, puts together festivals, and he even takes certain groups of tourists out sailing. It’s in his wheelhouse, even if it’s not what she thought he would be doing. He was supposed to go into the Navy, supposed to go straight into active duty and work his way through college with his grant. That was always his plan, even if he was delayed in getting around to it.

But that was never his fault. He’s two years older than her, and during his senior year of high school, his mom died. He’d fallen into such a deep depression that he almost didn’t graduate, and even though he did, he never went off to follow his dreams. Instead he worked down at the docks, like now, but instead of working with tourism, he loaded and unloaded cargo. She thinks it had been good for him to be able to work through things physically, especially since he avoided things emotionally. She tried to get him to talk about his mom and about Liam, but he never would.

Maybe this is his new dream.

A sob gets caught in her throat thinking about him, about how much she failed him by giving up on their friendship when she moved away. She fucked that friendship up, and there’s no way for her to work around that. She can’t change what happened.

She wishes that she could.

Out of all of the surprises about Killian, though, she’s surprised that he spends his time at a country club golfing in white pants. That’s not Killian. That’s not him at all. But she guesses people change.

Maybe if he would talk to her, she could understand.

She’s not sure if she wants to talk to him, if she deserves to talk to him.

She probably doesn’t deserve to talk to him.

-/-

Before she knows it, her three months she was planning on staying have passed and a Storybrooke summer begins, the tourists coming into town and filling up all of the hotels and restaurants, including the club. She’s nearly always working, and even though it’s not what she wants, she’s managing to save up some money for when she eventually figures it out. It’s not like she’s paying rent right now, and she can mostly eat at work.

So she’s still home, but it’s not all bad. She’s closer with her parents, even if her mom keeps deciding that she needs to go on a date with her dad’s deputy, and she’s become better friends with Ruby and Ashely, making up for lost time. Honestly, though, the nicest part about it is how much less stressful it is. It’s healing in a way to be home, to not have to constantly be worried about how she’s going to make it, about how she’s going to pay rent.

Something she was dreading is turning out to be pretty okay, even if sometimes she’s still a little bothered by not living in Boston anymore.

The small town life…it’s not all bad some days.

“You’re getting a little burned on your shoulder there,” Ashley points out as they lounge on the beach on their day off in an attempt to get a little bit of color on their skin after mostly working indoors.

“How?” she groans, twisting her head to the side to look at the slight pink of her skin. “I literally have reapplied all day. And we’ve been sitting under the umbrella too.”

“You’re fair.”

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Ash.” She stands from her towel and brushes the sand off of her body. “I’m going to go to the bathroom and to reapply, okay?”

“Can you stop and get some more waters from the café?”

She nods her head and reaches down to pull on her jean shorts, zipping them up and slipping on her sandals as she walks up the beach toward the docks. It’s pretty crowded today, families everywhere, and she has to move in and out of the crowds to make it to the bathroom, spending her time reapplying her lotion and fixing her braids before exiting and making her way toward the café. It’s just a small little shack that sells hamburgers and hot dogs, but the line stretches out down the docks so that it’ll be at least twenty minutes.

“Most people wear shirts when they dine, but then again, you seem to be a fan of see through material.”

She nearly drops her phone at the voice behind her, but she catches it and stuffs it into her back pocket, giving her some time to take a deep breath as she turns to see those familiar blue eyes and black scruff-lined jaw. He’s got on the same blue baseball cap, but instead of being in golfing clothes, he’s in navy pants with a white shirt tucked in, the sleeves rolled up to show off his forearms.

He’s always had nice forearms.

That’s not what she should be thinking about.

Or the fact that his shirt is not buttoned up enough. Well, she kind of likes being able to see his chest hair, but it doesn’t really scream “hey look, I’m the guy in charge of tourism.”

“He speaks,” she snarks, straightening her back and lifting her chin up, wishing that she was about half a foot taller so they’d be eyelevel. “I didn’t know that was possible.”

“The same could be said about you.”

The smile that was on his face quickly fades away as his eyes flicker down her body. She’s suddenly very aware of how much skin she has on display, and when she crosses her arms over her chest, she knows that he notices her defensiveness by the raise of his brows.

“Yeah, well, shit happens.”

He scoffs at that, his jaw tightening while he looks up at the sky, the underside of his chin now on display to her.

“Shit happens, huh? Is that why you’re home?”

“Isn’t it why you’re still here?”

“Believe it or not, love, I want to be here.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“You should.”

“I don’t.”

“Are you five?” he scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest just like her, but she can see that same tattoo peeking through the material of his shirt. She’s not entirely sure what it is, but it kind of looks like a ship’s wheel. He would.

“No but at least I don’t run away from people trying to talk to me.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You know what? I don’t need lunch,” he groans before turning and walking away from her, his step steady and measured as he moves down the docks and disappears into a building that must be his office.

She wants to storm off as well, to act like the child like he just accused her of being, but she’s not going to let him annoy her to the point of not getting something to drink. So she waits, her foot stepping against the wood, and eventually gets her waters before making her way back to the beach and to Ashley who is looking at her like she’s having to bite her tongue on what just happens. The entire town probably knows that she and Killian just got into an argument.

She forgot about the gossip in Storybrooke.

Nothing is secret.

-/-

“So how’s it being home? Elsa asks her as they talk on the phone while she goes for a jog around the park. “Are you falling in love with a cute little surfer boy like it happens in the movies?”

“Els, seriously?”

“What? It’s a serious question. I’ve looked up your town. It’s super cute. I feel like great romances happen there.”

“You’re the worst,” she groans, slowing down her pace a bit as her breath gets heavy moving up the hill. “No, I’m not falling in love with any surfers. We don’t even have surfing here.”

“Okay, then sailors. Are you falling in love with any sailors?”

“Definitely not.”

“That was defensive.”

“It was not.”

“It was. Did you meet someone?”

Her eyes roll as she finally gets to the top of the hill, her legs and her chest burning the slightest bit as the June sun continues to beat down on neck from where it’s exposed. “I went on a date with my dad’s deputy, Graham. He’s a very nice guy, but I don’t know. I didn’t really feel a connection.”

“Nice guys are the guys you want to be with. It doesn’t have to be all dangerous assholes.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“I’m just saying,” Elsa laughs as Emma dodges another runner, “you have a tendency to find some not so nice guys. I mean, I wasn’t there for Neal, but I saw all of Walsh and – ”

“He was an asshole,” she finishes for Elsa, thinking about Walsh and how he was always steering her away from her friends and her hobbies so that he could try to morph her into his weird kind of ideal girl. “Yeah, I know. I’m just not sure if I want to see Graham again. I’m gonna have to think about it. Enough about me, though. Tell me what’s been going on with you as I try to finish this run.”

-/-

It’s raining.

And not like a light drizzle. It’s a torrential downpour with no signs of stopping, and even though every time she goes outside she bundles up into a coat and an umbrella, she’s still absolutely soaked down to her bones. As nice as the summers here are, this is always the one big thing – rain can come out of nowhere, and it can and will stay for days.

It also seems to stop everything.

Obviously no one is spending their time at the beach or going out sailing, so everyone huddles inside at hotels and restaurants and, unfortunately for her, the club. They open to non-members in the summer, so it’s always more packed than usual. But this? This is like absolute chaos. She’s never going to be able to sit down, and her feet are going to fall off. It’s what’s going to happen as she keeps running between the kitchen and at least four different dining rooms, dealing with angry parents and restless kids who never seem to be happy with the food they’re being served. It’s insane and stressful and she wishes that she was in Boston trying to figure out if someone was lying about whether the car accident really did hurt their neck.

No, she doesn’t wish for that. She doesn’t. She likes being home, and she thinks that’s what makes this entire day and this entire situation so much worse.

“Emma, I need – ”

“I know,” she calls back to Ashely, twisting on her foot and slamming right into a solid body that has the tray of drinks in her hands falling, spilling, and glass shattering against the ground. She knows that she could probably feel shards of it in her foot if she wasn’t so goddamned embarrassed by the fact that she just spilled drinks on Killian again.

The world is a very cruel place.

She’s going to have to bandage her ankles.

“Shit,” she sputters, already bending down to pick up the tray and the glasses that didn’t break. “Shit, shit, shit.” She starts to pick up the large chunks of glass when suddenly there are hands underneath her shoulders and she’s being pulled back up to stand, Killian’s eyes peering at her. “Shit.”

“You don’t need to pick up glass with your hands, love,” he says softly, his words far too kind for someone who just had more of his clothes ruined. “And you’re bleeding. You need to get cleaned up.”

“I know how to do my job,” she huffs, not wanting him to be kind to her, “and I’m fine.”

“You have bloody glass in your skin, Emma. Someone else can clean this up with you get it taken care of.”

“I – ” she starts, the protest on the tip of her tongue, but it dies there when she looks at the blue that has always meant so much to her. He’s changed a lot, really filled in physically, but the blue is the same. “Um, okay. I’m going to go to the front office and clean up I guess.”

He nods his head and releases her arms, and as she walks away, the slightest bit of pain in her step, she realizes that he’s walking with her. She doesn’t understand why, doesn’t want to ask why, but then he’s following her into the office, somewhere he’s definitely not supposed to go, and plopping himself down on a couch while she gets the first aid kit out and starts trying to clean her cuts and make sure there’s not more glass in her skin.

“Why are you in here?” she finally asks as she takes off her sneakers to check for glass. It’s everywhere.

“I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“Why?”

“Because believe it or not, I still care about you.”

“Yeah,” she says incredulously, shaking a piece of glass out of her shoe and into the trashcan, “sure you do. That’s totally how you’ve acted the past few months.”

“Well, forgive me for not always wanting to talk to the woman who left without so much as a goodbye.”

The cuts more than the glass that was in her skin. She should have known. She should have known that them being around each other, that them talking, that it would lead to old scars being brought up. Why the hell did she want to talk to him to begin with?

“Killian – ”

“No, it’s fine. I get it. It’s been years. I shouldn’t still be bitter about it.”

“You very obviously are, though.” She sits down on the edge of the desk and starts dabbing at cut on her hand that she must have gotten when she was picking up the glass. “Wounds made when we’re young tend to linger. Or at least that’s what you always said as if you were some wise old man.”

He chuckles a bit at that, and her eyes snap up at him. She missed that sound. She didn’t realize it until now, but she did.

“I’ve always had an old soul, love.”

“And an old personality, obviously considering you’re now spending your time in country clubs golfing.”

“It’s for work,” he explains on a sigh as he wipes at the dampness on his pants, a loud crash of thunder shaking the window. “I – ”

“I know what you do.” When he raises his eyebrow, she continues. “Ruby told me. Don’t act so surprised that I asked about you. I’m not this cold heartless bitch you obviously think I am.”

“I have never said that.”

“You might as well have for the way you speak to me and the way you mostly avoid me.”

He laughs again, but this time it’s not as pleasant. It’s more…dark, and she doesn’t like it. Not at all. “Again, that is entirely rich coming from you.”

Her shoulders tense, and she stops working at her hand to look at him, to really look at him. He looks tired, exhausted really, and if she looks closely, she can see that his eyes are red rimmed. And that’s exactly when it hits her, when she realizes what today’s date is. June 24th. It’s the day that Liam died. Of course he’s going to be upset with her, even if he has every right to be, but today is likely not the best day for them to get into seven years of issues.

So of course she’s going to anyways. She doesn’t want to drudge up Liam’s memory. Killian doesn’t like to. He has to be the one to bring it up, and if he needs to yell, it might as well be at her.

“I’m a shitty person,” she says flatly, even if voice tries to betray her. “I left town, and I didn’t say goodbye, I know. I didn’t answer your texts or your calls. I can’t…Killian, I don’t know why I did that, not to you. You were my best friend for a long time, and you didn’t deserve that. So if you want to hate me, you have every right to. You can hate me and slander my name and spill five times as many drinks on me as I did to you. I deserve it all because I shouldn’t have done any of that. I have excuses, but they’re not worth anything.”

He doesn’t say anything for what has to be at least a minute. He simply sits on the couch and taps his fingers against his thigh while his jaw visibly clenches and unclenches. “I came to visit you, you know? In New York.”

She nearly loses her balance at his words, her ass almost falling off of the desk, but she doesn’t. She stays still and tries to regulate her breathing, tries to dislodge whatever is caught in her throat.

“When?”

“February of your first year.”

“I wasn’t – ”

“You weren’t there,” he finishes for her, his gaze practically burning her skin. This is almost too much for her right now, but she’s here. It’s happening. He deserves to talk to her and yell at her for abandoning him for no reason other than wanting out of Storybrooke. She can’t believe he came to see her in New York. “You hadn’t answered any of my calls, obviously, and I needed to know why. I missed you, and I wanted to see you. Only there I was, ready to lay my heart out on the ground for you, and your roommate told me that you’d dropped out and run off to Boston with some guy.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. Why would you do that, Emma? Where is this guy now?”

“He’s gone,” she whispers, her voice nearly getting carried away in the rain. “He was an asshole who broke my heart.”

“And who made you drop out of college.”

“I did that all on my own.”

“Sure you did.”

“Why do you even care anymore?” she huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and hugging herself, trying to put up some kind of shield. “I’m a screw up who was careless with your feelings. You should not care about me.”

“I was in love with you, Emma,” he yells, slapping his hands against his thighs before running them through his hair as he stands up and steps closer to her. The storm raging in his eyes matches the one outside, and she can barely breathe at the words that just slipped out of his mouth. “You were my best friend, you were there for me through everything, and you just left. I was so goddamn proud of you for going to college, for making something of yourself, but then you dropped off the face of the earth. You didn’t return my calls or my emails. Ever. And then I find out that you’ve dropped out of college and run off with some idiotic guy who did nothing but use you. I had never been more pissed at you than I was right then.”

She wants to acknowledge the fact that Killian just said he was in love with her, but she can’t right now. She doesn’t know if she ever will be able to.

“You’re pissed at me because I made a dumb choice and got my heart broken?” she finally says, the words struggling to get past her lips. “I was a naïve kid, Killian. I did stupid shit, and I paid the price for it. But you don’t get to get mad at me for that. You don’t get to throw my mistakes in my face.”

He nods his head as if he agrees, but he also inches closer to her, his knees nearly knocking into hers. “Why didn’t you call?”

“What?”

She doesn’t even know why she asked what. They’ve already talked about this. It’s like running in a damn circle.

“Why didn’t you call? Why did you decide that I wasn’t worth talking to anymore? What? The depressed man with no family was no longer interesting? I no longer made you laugh and drove you around since you didn’t have a car? I didn’t have a promising career so your mom no longer approved of me? Huh? Was that it?”

“Of course not.”

He takes a step closer, the blue of his eyes nearly completely black as their knees finally knock together. She can feel his breath on her, can feel the heat radiating off of his body.

“Then why?”

“Why would you want to spend time with someone whose entire life was laid out for them when yours had just been destroyed? I had everything, and I wanted none of it. I was young and stupid and selfish, and you deserved someone better than me to be your friend.”

“We had very different childhoods, love. You grew up in a happy house full of love and opportunity, and I would never blame you for thinking differently than me, for wanting a different life than the one you had. I was – I am an idiot. I’m a hot headed idiot who doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut when it comes to you. That hasn’t changed. That’s not going to change.”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you,” she quietly admits, not knowing what else to say when Killian’s proximity to her is making it hard to breathe. “I’m sorry that I didn’t call. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry that I’ve been ignoring you since you’ve been home.”

She takes a deep breath and nods her head, her heart still thumping against her chest. This is a lot of emotional whiplash, and she’s not quite sure how to take it or handle it. She doesn’t even think they’ve solved anything or explained it well, but the truth of the matter is that she doesn’t even have an explanation. That’s how shitty she was to him. She doesn’t even know why she did the things she did.

Killian was in love with her.

And she broke his heart without even realizing it.

How could he ever want to talk to her again?

“Killian, I – ” she starts, more words of apology on her tongue when Ashley walks into the office, her eyes widening at the sight in front of her. They must look like a mess. And when the hell did her hand land on Killian’s shoulder?

“Um, Ems,” Ashely stutters while Killian sighs, “I don’t know what’s happening here, but we kind of need you back working.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she mumbles, not moving from her spot. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Now would be better.”

“I’ll be there now,” she says, looking up at Killian and wondering how the black of his eyes has faded back to blue when he should still be pissed at her. “Do you want to talk some more later?”

He smiles, and even though his lips are now surrounded by scruff, it’s the same smile.

“I’d like that.”

-/-

June swelters into July, and she becomes busier than ever at work as well as helping Killian with whatever events he sets up to drive in tourism. It’s odd talking to him again, really talking to him, but after that day at the club, despite nothing really being resolved, they’ve both made an effort to try to be friends again. She doesn’t know why Killian would want that, not really, but it’s his life, and a lot can change in seven years. A lot has changed, and even though they were friends before and know the basic questions and answers of their lives, it’s kind of like starting anew again. Neither of them are the people they were. They’ve grown, changed, and it takes some time to start to get to actually know Killian again.

For one, he’s not a loner anymore. Not at all. And it’s not like he was to begin with, but he definitely wasn’t actively social. Now, though, they can’t walk down any street without Killian talking to someone and asking about their wife or their kids or something personal that shows that he knows this person. It’s the strangest thing watching him be this social guy, but honestly, it makes her happy that he’s happy. He’s always been so charismatic, and it’s kind of nice to see him use his charms and to not be holed up in his house drinking rum.

That’s one thing that has definitely changed. It’s not that Killian was some underaged alcoholic, but he did have a fondness for rum, especially after his mom died. She doesn’t know how he got it, but he did. But now, Killian doesn’t drink at all. He hasn’t outright said it, but when they go get something to eat, he always orders water or tea. She doesn’t think much of it until one night they’re walking along the dock hanging streamers for a sailing race the next day and he starts telling her about Milah.

She hates that her heart pangs when he starts talking about her because she should not be jealous of a woman who’s not in the picture anymore. She should not be jealous at all. She’s always found Killian attractive, even more so now, but they’ve never been a…thing. She’s never wanted them to be a thing, to be more than friends, but her mind is obviously betraying her.

“I loved her, you know,” he starts as he hammers a nail into a post. “She helped me through a really dark time. She made me happy, and I guess that’s why I never questioned the fact that she didn’t like going out on dates in town or why we always slept at my place. Storybrooke is not a big town, and I was so dumb to not realize. I was also too drunk. But obviously I figured it out, we got into a fight, and then we broke up. I didn’t have any interest in being in a relationship with a married woman, even if her marriage was falling apart. I didn’t want to be like my dad, you know?”

“You’re not like your dad,” she promises, hanging the string for the banner and tying it off. “You never have been.”

“I was sleeping with a married woman and drinking far too much. I was exactly like my father. So I broke up with the woman who I thought was going to be the love of my life, and I quit drinking. Simple as that.” “You and I both know that it wasn’t simple.”

He shrugs his shoulders, but his focus never strays from the task at hand. “I’ve been sober for two years. It’s not simple, no, but it’s easier now than it used to be.”

And so their nights go. They work together and spend time together just like they did as teenagers, and little by little, the threads that have been holding their secrets together unravel as they reveal thoughts and dreams and what’s happened in the past. Their threads had been cut from each other seven years ago, but she thinks they’re starting to be knit back together. It’s not something she ever thought would happen, but she’s glad that it is.

Really glad.

-/-

By the time August rolls around, she accepts the fact that she may very well actually like Killian Jones. It’s not that difficult of a conclusion to get to, not really. They basically spend all of their time together. When she’s not working, she’s usually helping Killian work or chilling at the beach with him, and when he’s not working and she is, he’s always at the club. Last week he came to her parents’ house and had dinner with everyone, and even though it’s something that’s happened before, it felt…different.

The fact that her mom’s eyes lit up and she wouldn’t stop talking about how handsome Killian is kind of nailed home the fact that her mom wouldn’t mind if she and Killian started screwing like bunnies.

Woah. That’s not where she was going with that.

But it kind of is. She’s ridiculously attracted to him, emotionally and physically, and she kind of wants to sleep with him.

She should definitely slow her roll, though. She’s not just going to jump into bed with Killian. That would change…everything. That would change absolutely everything. Besides, it’s not like he wants to be with her.

She knows that it’s a lie even as she thinks it. She knows that Killian has feelings for her, that he always has. Hell, at one point he was apparently in love with her, and while she doesn’t think that’s true anymore, she can tell. Sometimes you just know.

And sometimes Ruby tells her that Killian looks at her like she’s responsible for hanging the moon in the sky and creating the waves of the ocean. Sometimes Ashely tells her that she looks at Killian like he was the one to hang the sun.

They’re not weird celestial beings, but the point still stands.

She’s got absolutely no clue what to do with it.

But it’s not something she really has to deal with as she stays busy at work and Killian does the same, tourism in town reaching its peak before everyone goes back to school and families stop coming on vacation. Yet, like she’s living in some kind of Hallmark movie where everything magically seems to happen during a big event, on the day of Summer Fest, a very aptly named festival where all of the local vendors set up booths at the docks and beach games are held along with swimming and boating competitions, something changes between she and Killian.

It happens slowly, really, as these things do. She’s spending her day running around in goddamn khaki shorts and a lime green t-shirt that Killian made her wear as she helps him to keep things running smoothly. She doesn’t really see him more than a blur of black hair and tan skin, and that’s okay as she doesn’t really have time to talk. So their days go on, separately and yet together, and by one in the morning, everyone has left the pier, the docks, and the beach, except for the two of them as they sit with their feet dangling off the pier and over the ocean, a bucket of cotton candy between them.

“I don’t know why more people don’t come out here to look at this view.”

“Because it’s one in the morning, love,” he laughs, sticking his hand in the bucket to grab some of the fluff. “Everyone is asleep.”

“We’re not.”

“Because we’re crazy.”

She laughs at that as she twists herself a little closer to him, picking up the cotton candy bucket and holding it in her lap as their thighs press together and her head rests on his shoulder, the smallest hint of his cologne still remaining. Mostly he smells like salt and sweat. It’s not an awful combination, but it’s not particularly pleasant either. She can’t imagine what she smells like after spending the day outside. Probably sweat and suntan lotion.

“Oh I don’t know, I think we’re geniuses for getting this view all to ourselves.”

“It is a beautiful view,” he hums as his arm comes to wrap around her waist, fingers toying with the skin just about the belt loops on her shorts.

His touch is electric, like lightening bugs inching over her skin, and she twists her head up to look at him only to find that he’s already looking at her, their lips so close that if she just pressed up the slightest bit she could…

“Emma,” he whispers, somehow inching closer so that his nose presses into hers, his lips ghosting against her skin as she whines at the lack of touch. It’s so much and yet not nearly enough.

“What?” she murmurs right back, one hand bracing her against the wood while the other lands on his thigh, his muscles twitching under her touch.

“What are you doing?”

“I was kind of thinking about kissing you.”

“So was I.”

And then they are. It’s soft, gentle at first. Really, it’s as sweet as the cotton candy that they were just eating. He tastes like that too. Killian’s lips taste like sugar, and they’re far softer than she ever imagined. She has imagined it too, far more than she’d ever admit. Seven, almost eight years ago, when she left this town with no intention of ever coming back, when she screwed up her life and hurt people she cared about, she never would have imagined knowing just how Killian kisses.

It’s a good thing to know as her heart threatens to burst through her ribcage with its pounding.

She thinks that he’s going to pull back from her, that he’s going to stop the kiss, but really his hands come up to cup her face, rough callouses covering her skin with the magic of his touch, and he drags his teeth against her bottom lip, his mouth forming into a smile at the little noise that she just let out as heat simmers below the surface of her skin. It can no way compare to the way the sun felt beating down on her all day.

It’s so much better.

Her lips part to let him slide his tongue into her mouth, the slick flesh exploring her as she does the same. He’s a damn good kisser, and she could do this for hours. She might have been doing this for hours. She honestly doesn’t know at this point as her toes actually curl within her shoes and as her skin tingles.

“We should go inside. Get some rest.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she agrees, knowing that even though the two of them are going to end up in bed, neither of them are actually going to bed.

His apartment is only a five minute walk from the pier, but it seems to take them so much longer to get there as Killian keeps taking the time to push her into a wall and bury his head into her neck, hot puffs of air coming out onto her skin as he kisses her flesh. It’s thrilling and exciting, and she really shouldn’t complain with the heat that’s curling between her thighs and the way that it’s absolutely driving her mad.

But they do eventually get inside, Killian unlocking the door with his hands shaking the slightest bit, and she tries to comfort him by turning and wrapping her arms around his neck as she pays the same attention to him that he did to her earlier. His hands find her ass, and before she knows it, warm flesh is dipping below her shorts and squeezing her as he easily walks her backwards. She trusts him completely in so many ways, and she thinks that mostly shows with the fact that she never looks behind her as they move through the apartment.

She’s far too distracted by this little noise that he makes when she bites down on his clavicle anyways.

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“Is that so?” she mumbles, pulling back from him and lifting this ugly t-shirt over her shoulders so that it falls to the ground and her skin is exposed to his gaze.

“Aye. No one compares.”

“Oh I don’t know about that,” she teases, her voice lifting in pitch as his fingers work at the button on her shorts. His hands are so damn warm, and she imagines the rest of his body is as it holds the warmth of their day spent outside.

“I do.”

She looks up at him then, at the intense forget-me-not eyes, and the smile that was on her face falls at the seriousness of his. He means it. Really and truly, and she’s not going to take that lightly. Pressing her palm up against his chest, she lifts up on her toes and slants her lips over is.

“You’re not so bad yourself, handsome.”

It’s not quite the same, but she’s getting there.

Slowly but surely each article of their clothes is peeled off of their bodies. It takes far too long with how they’re stopping to explore every inch of each other’s skin with hands and lips and teeth. Killian is exceptionally good at riling her up, at making her want him, and after what feels like an eternity, he settles himself over her and between her thighs as he pushes into her in a thick slide of heat that makes her dig her nails into his arms, little red marks staying over his tattoo while she holds on tightly.

“Emma, God, I – ” he begins, his voice strained and yet light, as if he’s talking to that person who he thinks hung the moon. Maybe he is as he gently rocks into her, his hips deliciously sliding over hers while his lips hover just above her. “You are fantastic. I can’t – this is so much better than I imagined.”

She wants to make a quip about him imagining this, but she doesn’t. Instead she presses up to kiss him. “For me too.”

It’s slow, much slower than it ever has been for her, and it’s likely because Killian is taking the time to learn what she likes, to learn what brings her pleasure and causes her to whimper as they shift and move together. He’s brilliant at this, at making every inch of her feel treasured for the first time in a long time, and she wants to do the same to him, to show him that he’s treasured too. She wants to show him that she’s not leaving him, not again.

So she spends her time gliding their lips together, trying to coax out whimpers of pleasure from him. She does, and she wonders if she can memorize the sounds that he makes. She’s planning on doing this again, so she’s got the time. His hips snap into hers as her legs shift to allow him better access, to make him slip in deeper, and when he starts to get a bit shaky, she snakes her hand between them to rub at where they’re joined. She knows that she falls first, that her blood runs hot and that she can’t stop it as her eyes shut and Killian’s forehead rests against her collarbone. But she doesn’t want to stop it, not when this is so blissful and not when Killian is falling apart too, coming undone as the sweat on his skin falls to hers, his lips pressed against her ear as he whispers everything but “I love you” to her.

That comes two months later on a warm morning in October as they sit at his kitchen table drinking coffee after they spent the night trying to figure out what kind of job she’s going to apply for since she doesn’t want to keep working as a waitress. Killian suggests that she come work for him, and when she raises a brow at that, he shrugs and tells her that he’s serious. Whether she realizes it or not, she’s become quite adept at helping him plan events and set up for things, as well as answering calls and dealing with people who are upset that it’s raining and that their scheduled sailing lesson has been cancelled.

Plus, it means that she doesn’t have to work in an office all day, which is exactly what she’s been trying to avoid.

So the night after she figures out a way to maybe get her life on track, the man who has always been there for her even when she wasn’t there for him tells her that he loves her. She says it right back, meaning every word. She might not have deserved him for hurting him when they were young, but if there’s anything she’s learned lately, it’s that forgiveness, when deserved, is a very powerful thing.

She knows all of his secrets, all of his scars. She knows the ones that she caused, the ones that were left while she was around and the ones that were left after she was gone. She’ll get to know the ones that are left in the future.

She also knows that the ship wheel’s tattoo on his arm, the one that has his mom’s and Liam’s names inked into his skin because they were the people he loved most, gets her name inked into it three years after she officially returns home.

Because she is.

Home.

#unraveling the thread #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic #one shot

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prorevenge · 5 years

Text

How I got my (ex) friend thrown out of college

TL;DR at the end of the post.

So the story begins with me being 17 years old, fresh out of high school and in college. I meet a guy who looked really nice and came to sit next to me in our first class. He told me that he had already done his first year, but due to some mental health issues decided to resit because his grades were terrible. All fine with me, we hit it off and I was feeling quite happy because I was 17 and living on my own. I had some friends from high school who went to the same college, but they were very quick in getting their own social lives going and didn't have much time to hang out anymore. So I had finally found a friend. The year goes by pretty smoothly, I pass most of my classes (f you English Literature) and I move on to my second year.

Friend (let's call him C for now) does as well. So I'm all happy that we get to move into the second year together and I thought that was that. Over the summer break I texted him a lot and asked him to hang out, but he told me he was very busy with his job saving up for the new year of college. So I just let him be.

Next year rolls around and I don't see him anywhere. He doesn't show up to classes, he doesn't answer my texts, I was afraid something had happened to him. Eventually he texted back, telling me that he was incredibly busy with his job. He asked me if I still wanted to work on our projects together and I happily agreed.

C would never come to the first tries of tests and he was always late with handing in his work. The only things he handed in on time were the projects he worked on together with me. Mostly because he would text me that he couldn't make it and then I'd do his part. Now being the naive, now 18 year old, that I was I did all of that.

He would constantly ask me for the work I handed in on individual projects, saying that he 'just needed to see how I did it because he didn't know how to start'. Sure thing, here you go man. That was until one day I failed a class on my first try and that meant I had to go up for the resit. So I look at my feedback and edit my essay.

Insert text from C if I could please send him my work so he could have a look at it. I obliged and told him that I had failed the class to, so he should be careful when reading it because it wasn't great. I even told him the pointers that my professor gave me to make sure that he understood what parts were wrong. A couple of weeks go by and C send me an angry texts saying that he had failed his essay. I asked him what his feedback was and asked if I could see his work as well so that we could look at it together, since I had passed my resit. He didn't want to do that and for some weird reason this didn't sit well with me. I was always told by my family that I should always trust my gut feeling and something was off.

So I decided that I was going to find out more about this. So the next period I decided to not take up my first try for an essay, but instead waiting to do the resit with some lame excuse towards my professor like: I forgot the due date and I missed it because of that, sorry I'll hand it in on time for the resit. Because I had such a good relationship with my professors (always showing up, being active in class, doing homework etc.) they had no problem reviewing my work before the due date to give me some pointers to make sure I'd pass the resit. So I knew that I was going to be okay. Of course, insert C text message saying: Hey can you send me your work because I am working on it and I don't understand it one bit. I've done the first two assignments but I can't figure out the 3rd one. I tell him that I hadn't started on it either but offered to work together. He declined but wished me luck. The next day I send him a text, claiming that I was at my parents' house and that I forgot to bring the assignment. I asked him if he knew what the third assignment was. He texts me back saying the following: I don't know, I haven't started it yet.

And this is where it clicked, how could he ask me for help, claiming he didn't understand the third assignment if he hadn't started yet... Again the gut feeling was telling me something was wrong. Now just to explain, my school has this thing where you can go in and ask for your work to see why you failed it and to see if the professor had maybe made a mistake grading. This was also the case for that essay that I had failed before, which I had sent to C and for which he failed. So I went in and asked to see C's work, knowing well that he wouldn't go in that day, because he never did. The professor was reluctant at first, but I told him that C had asked me to take a picture of his work and feedback so that he could learn from it. Basically lying my way through and finally getting to see his work. I took some pictures, thanked the professor and left. Upon coming home I looked at the pictures and basically saw my own work staring me in the face. Only some images and some sourcing had changed. Some of the sentences were remodeled but it very clear that this was pretty much the same work. I was LIVID. I had worked my ass of for two years to try and help him and to make sure that he would pass courses. I felt so bad for him because he was struggling with his metal health (my mom was severely depressed so I felt sorry for him), but this was basically stealing.

So I decided to write an anonymous letter to the exam committee basically accusing C of fraud. I hadn't told him that I was doing any of this of course. I didn't hear too much at first, but after about six weeks I get a text from C. He was panicking and panicking HARD. He told me that he had gotten a letter from the exam committee basically accusing him of fraud. I asked him, so what does that mean? He said that he would have to come in for a hearing and if they did find him guilty of fraud he could be sent away from college. I found that a bit of a harsh punishment, but I played along with being a concerned fellow-student and 'friend'.

Cut to about a week later when I'm sitting in class and the topic of fraud comes by. I ask my professor what the punishment for fraud is. Well he said, if they find you guilty of fraud the first time, they'll exclude you from taking any exams for a year, so basically you'd have to resit a whole year. But if they find you guilty another time after that they will pretty much send you away and you won't be able to come back.

Again this gut feeling kept growing bigger and bigger. So, as a concerned friend, I went over to our student mentor, the professor who had to guide my specific class, and told him I was concerned about C's mental health state. Our mentor was obviously confused as he said that C had never told him that he had mental health issues. I asked him, well isn't that why he failed his first year. My mentor said no, he had failed his first year because he got caught for fraud.

And that's where it clicked. C had been lying to me the entire time. He got caught for fraud, got excluded for all of his exams, had to redo the year and then decided to commit fraud again, but he just tried harder this time.

Obviously he didn't make it through his hearing and he got sent away. Turns out that in this hearing they showed him all of his own work compared to that of mine. C pretty much knew that I was the one who ratted him out, but I swore to him that I didn't do it as the innocent little angel I am. He got sent away from college and I never heard from him again.

TL;DR: My 'friend' lied about the reason why he had to do his first year in college. He said he had mental health issues, but he actually had committed fraud in the first year and got caught meaning he was excluded from taking exams for a year basically having to resit his entire year. He would never take the first try on exams and then ask me to send over my made (and passed) work so that he could have a look at it and use it as a frame for his own work. He just edited it slightly and handed it in, never getting caught until I caught this guy in a lie. I sent an anonymous letter to the exam committee and he got caught for fraud again and sent away from the school.

(source) story by (/u/EmotionalDratini)

#prorevenge #by /u/EmotionalDratini #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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orbemnews · 3 years

Link

Unemployment Scammer Spills Secrets: Illinois Easy Target Because 'They Don’t Verify Anything' By Dorothy Tucker CHICAGO (CBS) — You’ve heard a lot about fraud in the state’s unemployment system, but you’ve never heard this: A scammer spills his secrets — how he steals your taxpayer dollars, leaving those desperately needing benefits stuck in limbo. CBS 2 Investigator Dorothy Tucker went inside the scheme and uncovers why Illinois is a favorite target. Cynthia Sawaneh couldn’t believe what CBS 2 showed her on her computer. The information she was looking at usually lurks in the shadows, meant for criminals who are aiming to make millions, targeting taxpayers like Sawaneh. “This is really scary. Oh my God,” she said after reading the words on the screen. “They got my money.” The CBS 2 Investigators showed Sawaneh a 19-page guide. It’s a how-to on filing fraudulent unemployment claims. “It’s like any other step-by-step tutorial,” said Crane Hassold, who is the Senior Director of Threat Research at Agari, a business email security firm. “It walks you through exactly what questions to answer.” Before Agari, Hassold worked in the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, investigating national security threats and serial criminals, like those scamming unemployment systems across the country, including here in Illinois. “They’ve adapted their tactics,” he said. His job at Agari is to cultivate a network of sources, willing to sell their scamming secrets. “We’ve been able to build those sources over the past year or so,” he said. As a result of the connections made, Hassold knows their tactics and the tutorial well. “It’s a lot of screenshots and very brief descriptions of how you should fill out the information,” he said. The tutorial for Illinois describes which section to leave blank, when to click next and where to answer “no.” It also describes how to fill out the phone number — just find the area code and the rest can be “rubbish”. “What’s really surprising is how open a lot of these cybercriminals are to share how they do what they do,” said Hassold. The scammers are also telling Hassold and his team how they get their hands on the money. “Once a claim has actually been filed and everything’s processing, it provides the user with an opportunity to change that direct deposit method,” said Hassold. Translation: it makes it easy for the thief to steer stolen funds to an accessible account. We’re not telling you where or how to find the tutorials, but we will say it took us less than 24 hours to get an offer to buy one. All it took was a series of text messages with someone with a tutorial to sell and pictures to prove it. The asking price? $50 in bitcoin or cash. “It’s completely disgusting that this exists,” said Ofer Eckstein who is a partner at Personnel Planners, a third-party vendor helping clients process unemployment claims. Describing the amount of fraud right now, he said, “It’s terrible.” His clients feel the pain. Personnel Planners has 1,200 across the state representing school districts, healthcare facilities and restaurants. His clients employ about 200,000 people. “Over 50% of the claims that we receive in our office are fraudulent claims,” Eckstein said. Before the pandemic he said it was “Less than 1%.” The bogus claims Eckstein sees are just a fraction of the fraud. The Illinois Department of Employment Security reported, between March 2020 and January 2021, it had stopped close to one million fraudulent claims. Cynthia Sawaneh’s case is one of them. After her work hours cut back from 40 hours a week to just 16 hours, she applied for unemployment benefits in late October. She received one deposit, $397, before getting a letter from IDES saying, “…that my identity had been compromised. Therefore, my unemployment was ceased,” said Sawaneh. Like so many identity theft victims, she knows scammers have her personal information, “My employer, my address, my name, my date of birth,” she said. But Sawaneh has one big outstanding question. “I would really like to know how they got my information,” she asked. Here’s how. Scammers bought it, probably off the dark web. It’s the same place criminals shop for drugs, guns, fake passports and social security numbers. Paul Petefish, with Chicago’s Evolve Security, showed CBS 2 how easy it is to find those things. “Right here we have list of markets,” he said. A five-minute search turned up nearly 500 vendors. “This is somebody’s driver’s license,” said Petefish. Precious personal information for sale collected from massive data breaches in the past. Among those: The 2013 hack of three billion Yahoo accounts that exposed names, email addresses, phone numbers, birthdates, passwords as well as security questions and answers. The 2018 hack of 500 million Marriott accounts revealing customers’ names, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, birthdates and gender. Hackers also got some payment card numbers and expiration dates according to the Federal Trade Commission. The 2017 hack of Equifax where the personal identifiable information of 147 million people got stolen, including their names, social security numbers, birthdates, addresses and in some cases, their driver’s license numbers. What’s the cost to buy that information now, all these years later? “This one’s $40. This one’s $8,” said Petefish. Who is buying this information and then using it to steal identities, file fake claims and slow down benefits for the jobless or underemployed who are struggling, like Sawaneh? Her unemployment benefits suddenly stopped and her identity appeared to have been compromised. She now visits food banks frequently to feed her family. “It’s things I find myself doing that I’ve never had to do before,” she said. Another first: “All my bills are behind,” said Sawaneh. Even her mortgage. “There are times that bills come in and you don’t bother to look at them because it just depresses you,” she said. She had just bought her very first home and now worries about losing it. “I never would have dreamed that I would have to go through this,” said Sawaneh. Scammers could not care less about her struggle to keep food on the table, make a dent in the growing pile of bills or keep her dream home. Many of them reside far away from the South Side of Chicago where Sawaneh lives. They live in the dark recesses of Russia, Europe, and West Africa. “A lot of the scammers are young, They’re quite highly educated,” said Crane Hassold whose sources are in Nigeria. “It’s a job. This is how they make their living,” he said. So, he pays them $150 in cryptocurrency, untraceable money, to talk. “They want to brag about the crimes that they’re committing,” said Hassold. What one scammer told him about our unemployment system will make you cringe. The scammer said: “They don’t verify anything. What they just check is, is the name and the social security number the same? Is the date of birth on the Social Security number correct? That’s the only thing we have to get right on our part. Once they have gotten those kinds of information, it is over?” And get this, scammers consider IDES an easier target than most. Why? “Primarily because of some of the restrictions that are not in place in Illinois may be in place in other states,” Hassold explained. He means better security measures like in Oklahoma, where a new identity verification tool was put in place in November. It’s a Digital ID program from IDEMIA. Oklahomans who file unemployment claims are now required to upload their driver’s license and take a selfie. The new tool uses facial recognition technology to make sure the faces match. “And this picture was taken recently and wasn’t pulled off the website or something like that,” said Shelley Zumwalt, the Executive Director at the Oklahoma Employment Security Commission (OESC). In just the first month using the new identity tool called VerifyOK, OESC saw fraud cases drop by 40%, verified and paid 100,000 legit claimants and saved taxpayers $20 million. “It helped quite a bit,” said Zumwalt. How long will it help? “This is a very difficult group of people to stay one step ahead of,” said Michele Evermore with the National Employment Law Project. She works with states to improve their unemployment systems and make them more secure. “After they figured out how to shut them out one way, the fraudsters figured out another way to get in,” she said. “Wherever there is an opportunity to make money, a lot of these scammers really jump on and try to make as much money as they can,” said Hassold. Making money at the expense of faceless victims like Sawaneh. “We don’t know them. We don’t know who they are. We don’t familiarize with them. It’s just an hustle to us over here,” said the scammer Hassold paid for his insight. What’s a hustle to the overseas scammer is harmful to people here in Illinois, like Sawaneh, waiting on benefits, trying to make ends meet and worrying about the future. “It’s been stressful to me. Many nights of no sleep. Waking up early, walking back and forth around the house. It’s a terrifying situation to live in,” she said. The question is what is IDES doing to stop scammers? We asked. The agency didn’t exactly answer that question. However, last week the agency did release a statement announcing new requirements. Now, all pandemic unemployment claimants will have to upload a paycheck stub, W-2 or some other proof of employment. Will this prevent fraud? We’ll have to wait to see. Also From CBS Chicago: Source link Orbem News #Dont #Easy #Illinois #Scammer #secrets #Spills #Target #Unemployment #verify

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raeyvies · 7 years

Text

RFA + Saeran w/ an MC whose background/past image puts her in a problematic situation in the future

@juminsmcmysticmessenger asked: “maybe one with a lot of Angst! Ofc if you want! A mc who gets bullied because of her image? Via internet, people outside and at work?”

I kind of broadened your request to give myself some more creative freedom. I felt that bullying kind of didn’t allow me to have variety from one character to the next so I hope you dont mind! You asked for angst and that’s exactly what I’m giving you :D You’ll notice that it just gets more angsty after each character ^^

Again, it’s a long headcanon (b/c personally I prefer long ones)

Yoosung

You never told Yoosung that you also once upon a time attended Sky University before him

You always hated to admit that you were that one perfect student in all the dramas on TV.

You were in your third year of your computer science major when it happened

A family incident occurred and you no longer had the drive to study

You disappeared from all your competitions that fall semester and never showed up back on campus.

The next thing everyone knew was that you had officially withdrawn from the University

Overall, there was resentment and animosity directed toward you then and now

That day you visited yoosung for lunch

Some girls who recognized you followed you back to the parking garage and cornered you when you were going to leave

They didn’t get physical but they threatened you

“Does Yoosung know who you really are? Huh?”

“You know we lost everything because you never showed up to the competitions”

“We were almost kicked out of our majors because you!”

You just wanted to get in your car and leave.

They threatened to get Yoosung kicked out of the university in revenge against you. And they threatened to reveal who you were to the entire school

After all, you were the school’s greatest embarrassment

One of the girls had connections so the threat was not an empty one.

Yoosung insisted on you having lunch with him everyday and you reluctantly went

But the threats haunted you every time you came to campus

Each visit, Yoosung noticed that you were more anxious than before

“Jagi, what’s wrong? Is something bothering you?”

You shrugged it off as just something from work that was bugging you.

But you couldn’t hide it because the next day that you visited, those girls who threatened you approached you while you were having lunch with yoosung

“We told you not to come back. All I have to do is call my dad and I’ll have Yoosung kicked out too”

Yoosung was so confused but he was quick to defend you although he didn’t know the context behind the threats.

And then a broadcast appeared on all the TV screens

Your face was everywhere now. You were reliving your worst moments in front of Yoosung

Yoosung was wide eyed and he looked at you in disbelief. Somewhat hurt too that you never told him about this

You were drowned in shame and couldn’t face Yoosung

The last thing you said was “It’s not a crime to abandon my school. But I deserve this punishment…for not being there for my parents when they died while I competed.”

Pulling your hoodie over your head and covering up you ran away from campus all the way to the park you and Yoosung frequent.

Meanwhile at the University, Yoosung was dealing with things

He was utterly disgusted at the girls who would do that to you.

Disgusted that they couldn’t let go of the past.

If it weren’t for the fact that they were girls, Yoosung would have actually hurt them badly.

He basically towered over the girls and breathed down on the one girl who claimed her dad could get him kicked out

“Tell your dad he doesn’t need to kick me out. I’ll drop out myself. I don’t want to be a part of this kind of school”

Then he chased after you and comforted you once he found you by the river.

You let it all out. All the built up rage, guilt, and anguish.

And yoosung held you in his arms until you finally felt free of your burden.

A week later Yoosung told you he dropped out too much to your dismay

He didn’t want to go to a school all they didn’t care about emotions and expected everyone to be robots

Jumin

You never imagined that your school days would catch up to you.

You committed some awful mistakes but you assumed your errors would stay in the past.

You never told Jumin that you were a bully back in high school.

You were the kind of bully that insisted on making every day a hell for somebody.

So much so that you almost drove a girl to suicide. After that, you left behind your violent days.

You transferred schools and lived life quietly.

And 10 years later, here you were at Jumin’s side as his wife and economic advisor. You completely changed from who you were

It ran all too smoothly until now

The girl who was driven to almost suicide grew up to be a famous reporter

That girl hadn’t seen you since you transferred schools

She was in charge of covering a story about C&R which in truth, was a great report.

However, she took the opportunity to add on some information about you in the report

But then she claimed on public television that you were a fraud. That you nothing more than a gold digger and power hungry

You were watching it while you were in the lounge resting

Your heart was racing and your eyes began to water but when you heard the lounge door open you quickly wiped your eyes and acted as though nothing happened.

It was Jumin and he had also watched the report.

He embraced you so tightly assuring you that nothing will happen to you

He had been through so many scandals already he was sure that he would get through this one with you easily.

He thought wrong.

At home, you and Jumin were on social media like usual every night.

But on every single site, you and that girl were trending.

She even tweeted out photos of newspaper articles of the incident revolving around you and her suicide attempt

Your past was catching up to you and many of that girl’s followers sent awful messages

Jumin hadn’t seen what was trending yet as he was in the bathroom

Meanwhile you were in the beginnings of a breakdown.

Reading messages saying the Jumin should divorce you, you became anxious.

Your were shaking and cried out at you threw your phone

it ended up hitting the fish tank and cracking the glass.

Jumin freaked out and ran out of the bathroom at the sound of smashed glass

Then he noticed you crying on the bed

You told him to open up twitter and see what was trending

He was about to call his lawyer to sue the girl for defamation and well anything else he could

“No I’ll take care of it by myself. This is a personal matter and I’d like to get this cleared up as quietly as possible”

Jumin got you a new phone and everyday you kept up with the hate messages

They got worse every single day and you became a crying mess in the shower every night.

Jumin kept telling you to ignore it but he never told you to suppress your emotions

Jumin would accompany you even though he got soaked each time.

Gradually you were falling into anxiety and maybe mild depression after two weeks

He asked again if you were sure that you didn’t want him to file a lawsuit but you denied.

He gave you strength to face every day and the hate messages that filled your inbox.

You messaged the reporter girl and asked her to please be the better woman here.

The bullying didn’t stop though and you blew up

You cursed at her through messages. You used the most profane language that you’ve ever used in your life.

And that’s where things escalated out of control. It now became the company’s duty to cover up this scandal.

Jumin had to take over and filed a lawsuit that of course he won

You were unable to attend any of the court hearings because psychologically you were a mess

And damage had already been done to the company’s reputation

After the storms rage ended, Jumin took time off from work despite protests

A lot of workers under Jumin wanted you to be fired but one look at the Ceo-in-line and they kept their thoughts to themselves

Jumin knew you had gone through something way too rough and he made sure absolutely no one came to harm you

Zen

It all happened so out of the blue

Old neighbors from where you lived as a teenager created a video on youtube that ranted to everyone how you grew up to be such a snob by dating Zen.

It went viral

You never told anyone in the RFA that you were from a very very low income neighborhood

You thought that it wasn’t something relevant anymore

You really tried to progress and successfully did so

You proved that your background had done nothing but motivate you

But your old neighbors clearly didn’t know you studied abroad to move up in social status

They kept claiming that you were only with Zen so that you could leave poverty and the ghetto

You didn’t just spend 4 years in Japan to let your efforts get overshadowed by your previous social status

You took it fairly lightly and told Zen about the video

“Those assholes are gonna know what’s good for the God dammit. Tell me where they live, MC”. Zen was furious

Even though he didn’t know who you were in the past, he didn’t care for it at all because you made a new image for yourself

You’re a coordinator for the RFA

You’re a translator for a famous publisher

You tell him you’re fine

The days afterward were when the nasty comments started to appear.

The comments were directed both at you and Zen

The ones directed at you were harsher than Zen’s

You were tough and didn’t let the comments bother you

You’ve already learned that you don’t need to justify yourself for something you know isn’t true

it was the fact that Zen was receiving hate and bad news coverage that got to you

You felt so guilty

Paparazzi followed you more closely asking bizarre questions

They were invading your life so much that Zen had to take it upon himself to protect you from the public eye

When the paparazzi swarmed your home (you lived with zen), he would make sure that no one got close to you

But one day it was just too much for Zen and he hurt one of the paparazzi.

His agency had to make a public statement about Zen’s behavior

Basically your image turned into that of a bad influence on Zen.

The only places you were safe from any harassment was your home.

You rationally kept thinking of ways to fix all this

And you know that was a lie.

This whole situation kept chewing at you even at night.

In your sleep you weeped and it broke his heart. Zen wanted to take some blame but you never let him.

You only told him that comforting you was the best thing he could do.

And one day, verbal bullying from the public turned physical.

Cameras swarmed you and they pushed you against your car. There was so much going on that even your head got hit by a camera since they had no sense of personal space

You were actually hurt from what they did to you but luckily a fellow colleague defended you and made the paparazzi go away.

It wasn’t until you got home that blood started trickling down from your head and down your cheek. It was from an open wound when you were hit by a camera

That night he cleaned you up and well stayed with you when you took a bath. He wanted to be with you and comfort you every moment he could.

You admit, that even his company while you bathed was the best thing that happened to you that day

HE told you that things will get better for the both you you. He embraced you so lovingly and protectively

And well things led to the next and you two had a really heated make out session in the bathroom

The next day, Zen holds a press conference to express his disappointment in his fan base and the public

You were watching him from the sidelines until you took it upon yourself to speak at the microphone

You explained your background and how you studied abroad and moved up socially by yourself.

You reiterate that you’re with Zen because you love him and not for money or fame.

And since that day, the hate did die down. Of course there were some stragglers who still tried to instigate controversy on social media but it failed.

Warning after this point: drug use, sexual harassment, physical abuse, and implied rape.

(The head canons get longer too after this point. Enjoy!)

Seven

Seven met you when you were in your darkest moments

You struggled with your parents deaths, your sister being murdered in front of you eyes, dropping out of high school, and ultimately, you falling into drug abuse.

The stars were always aligned against you

You were barely living on a day to day basis with your crummy salary

And on top of it, after paying necessary expenses, you bought drugs underground for cheap.

One day, there was a major drug bust and you were caught up in the mess. You managed to escape but only because you bumped into Seven.

You begged him to help you not get caught by the police despite your photo on a wanted list

Keep in mind, you met Seven when he was also struggling with his depression

He felt empathy for you and took you in to live with him at his bunker

You struggled with withdrawal symptoms and Seven helped you through it all.

He took care of you when you were nauseated and vomited, later collapsing in his bathroom because your body was really fighting withdrawal

Months passed and you two grew closer. You got to know his life story and you felt comfortable enough to tell him yours

And well a relationship was built from each other’s mutual darkness.

A year later, you both had overcome your struggles together and you had enough courage to ask Seven if he could clear your criminal record.

It was a selfish thing to ask but you knew he could do it.

But it risked his job

He loved you so much so he did it and cleaned your record

You just didn’t know how to repay him but all he said was that if you stayed with him, it would be enough

With a cleared record you were able to get your GED, attend medical school and five years later you became a general surgeon

Life was as amazing as it could be. You married Seven who now went by Saeyoung

You became one of the best surgeons at your hospital and Saeyoung had been promoted in his agency as a director

On your anniversary, you convinced Saeyoung to stop working at his computer and take a shower so that you could go out to celebrate

He left his computer open while he cleaned up and you read the email that was open

You gasped and covered your mouth as your eyes read every single word

It was a final notice saying that Saeyoung would be removed from his position because he was caught for having cleared your record

He already had charges against him for housing a felon.

They found your record in the end

You never knew your past would catch up to you and that Saeyoung would be the one paying the price

Next thing you know, there’s banging at the door and you hear multiple people yelling out “Director Choi!!”

You felt your body go cold and you slowly walked to the entrance but Saeyoung beat you to it.

His hair was still wet from showering and he punched in the code to open the door

As soon as it opens, the group of people grab him and handcuff him but you pull their hands off of Saeyoung.

You fall to your knees and beg for them to leave him alone.

“No please! He only did it because I asked so I’ll pay for my crimes instead! Please don’t ruin him, he doesn’t deserve it.”

Instead the group of men took you and Saeyoung to deal with this matter

In the end, Saeyoung was freed of all charges

You were charged with illegal drug abuse and distribution of the illicit drug.

You were found guilty of all charges but were let off on a six month probation considering that your record was especially clean prior to your crime.

You hoped life would remain normal.

But then you were fired from the hospital and that was your breaking point

Your employer found out about your record and did not cater to the idea of having a surgeon with a previous drug abuse record.

Since the day you were fired you held the pain in and never told Saeyoung.

You searched and applied for new jobs and returned at night without mentioning it at all

You never did find a job again because of your criminal record

But Saeyoung noticed when he had a day off and hoped to visit you at the hospital

He found out you had been fired 4 months ago.

Then his heart broke.

What had you been doing all this time?

Since it was late he knew you were home and ran back there.

When he came home, he found you in a corner in your bedroom.

And there was a small packet of oxycodone in powder in front of you.

You were staring at the packet wondering if you should take it

But Saeyoung broke through your thoughts as he fell to his knees and embraced you so tight

“Don’t think about it, MC. You’re stronger than this.”

He took the packet and hid it in his pocket to throw away later.

“Saeyoung… I-I was fired. No one wants to hire a surgeon with a drug record…”

“No its not like that. You’ll get back on your feet. I’ll help you, I promise!”

You voice was so broken and you sounded monotone, and so void of life

“All they see is my record… I might as well be what they think I am, right?”

This time Saeyoung was the one who broke into tears and you followed right after, letting out everything you’ve held in

It hurt to know that everything you built up for so long crumbled so fast

“Stop crying, Saeyoung! I set myself up for this when I first started taking drugs anyway. It’s not your fault…”

Later that night you still had an urge to take the drug and desperately looked for it but Saeyoung had already thrown it out

He saw you looking for it and he was worried that you would relapse.

And you ended up relapsing, but he still stayed with you and helped you rehabilitate

Just like when he first met you.

V/Jihyun:

V already knew you had an embarrassing image that you wanted to burn and keep in the past.

It was around a year after you two had become a couple that you showed him photos of a younger you modeling for erotic magazines

It was something you wanted to forget about but after all it is what got you through college.

You made some great money off and you never had a debt to pay after graduating college.

It was a small price in the short run that benefited you in the long run because now you’re a successful graphic designer (and V’s model ;D)

V sometimes wonders if you still feel exposed to hundreds of men and women who read this magazines

Since that day, he never pressured you and treated you delicately. He can’t imagine what it must have felt like to be so young doing such a thing

One day, V invites you to a photography convention

It’s literally such a cool event.

There’s photographs displayed everywhere

Photographers were taking pictures of everyone and showing how they turn simple photographs into amazing abstract works of art.

There were a bunch of cameras on display that people and you could see how ecstatic V was to use them. He brought his SD cards and any photos he took were saved

You were also having a great time with your boyfriend but when it started to get late, things took a turn for the worst

A lot of photographers suddenly recognized you

You had a feeling that none of their intentions were good-hearted.

And you were sure that out of the group of photographers, there were at least three registered sexual offenders

Some of them approach you but V assures you you’ll be okay

Seeing as your happiness and joy faded away, he knew that you weren’t enjoying the convention anymore.

However, one of the photographers came onto you and held you by your waist and pulled you right out of V’s arms

You tried to fight back but you felt so weak to your knees and cold

Your heart was racing like it was about to be ripped out of your chest

Right then and there in front of V, one of the photographers began to take off your jacket and whispered

“Maybe we should see if you still have the same body from those magazines, my lady”

V ripped him away from you immediately and punched him causing a commotion

The photographer fell to the ground and V pulled you away from the convention, holding you close.

Later at home, V feels so guilty and apologizes over and over again to you for taking you there

He didn’t want to bring up old memories, he just wanted to have fun with you at the convention

For the next few days he never let’s you leave his sight.

But after a week or so, he feels that nothing is going to happen to you

He let you walk to work on your own at last but that was a huge mistake

On your way to work, that photographer from the convention caught you and took you somewhere unknown against your will

HE had his camera ready to snap photos of your body for his own twisted purposes.

You were tied up to rope (the hung from the ceiling) by your wrists as you stood in the middle of a warehouse

He had the camera in one hand and began snapping photos just as he began removing your clothing one by one with his other hand

You screamed for help

You screamed for V

And that was just what the photographer wanted to capture. Your misery and fear in every photo along with every inch of your exposed body.

When tears fell down your cheeks, the photographer was pleased

All you had left was a tank top and panties when V came bursting in

HE beat the photographer unconscious and smashed his camera

You were his priority and he untied you

You fell into his arms, weak and almost lifeless

You were a crying mess and the sobbing never stopped for the rest of the day

Police arrived at the scene and took the unconscious photographer away while V took you home, wrapped in his jacket.

You couldn’t put on your clothes that was removed because it has been ripped and torn.

V called for Jumin to bring a car to his location and you cried on V’s lap the entire way home.

V had to carry you bridal style into the house because your legs had given out and drew a bath for you

And you stayed soaking in the tub until night fell without talking to anyone, not even V.

Saeran: (let me explain real quick b/c I feel this one isn’t as clear as the others. In her past, MC came from an abusive household and she developed trauma bonding. Basically forgives her abuser constantly. This predisposes her to repeat the same mistake in the future, thus a problematic situation with Saeran. By no means do I condone MC’s behavior though.)

Warning: Saeran is not a fluff ball. He’s actually very disturbed so don’t expect romance.

You grew up in a toxic and abusive household

You had grown accustomed to being pushed against walls, furniture, being beaten with kitchen instruments, and being pulled around by your hair

You always endured through it all and you were always convinced that one day it would stop

You wondered why you never ran away when you had the chance

You had grown up and at the age of 18, you were still taking beatings without fighting back

You were happy to finally cut you hair off when enlisted in the army right after graduation. Luckily you were never deployed so you stayed in the city.

One weekend you were out for a walk and met saeran. More like you helped seven tame a crazed Saeran.

At the time you didn’t know why Saeran was like that . You gradually became friends with the two and despite his anger issues and uncontrollable outbursts, you grew fond of Saeran

Even Seven was confused as to why you were growing attached to him

Maybe you pitied him? Maybe you wanted to care for him?

And no it was not that. While you lived in your old home, you developed something called trauma bonding.

That was why you never ran away from home.

You always forgave your parents for all they put you through anyway.

And now you were repeating the same mistake with Saeran

So now you were falling for Saeran because he was so violent. And just like with your parents, you were convinced that one day Saeran would change for the better

Seven tried to keep you from falling for Saeran because he knew his brother was a lost cause. He would never recover from his early years of trauma and his violence was his only coping mechanism.

When he was not violent, Saeran somehow grew attached to you too.

The poor kid never knew what is was to have someone around other than Seven and to not be abandoned.

Oh this was the start of another toxic relationship. It was just wrong from the get go

You were already predisposed to fall back into the cycle of abuse and Saeran was possessive of you. He never wanted you to leave him.

He didn’t want to be left alone again. Never.

Seven saw this relationship grow. And when you and Saeran moved in together, so many alarms went off in his head.

He knew you were in danger but he was so confused as to why you were so oblivious to such a blatant fact.

Life continued and you were blindly in love with Saeran. You were supportive of him through his therapy and coped with his verbal outbursts.

Seven was surprised to know that Saeran hadn’t gotten physical with you…yet

Oh but that changed soon enough.

One day he was home alone and he was losing his mind. He was building up rage because you weren’t there. He was angered that you left him alone.

You were just running late from work and when you came back, you were greeted with a vase smashing against the door.

Of course you were scared but you just approached Saeran and tried to calm him down like the first day you met him.

Things didn’t go your way and next thing you know, he tossed you against the floor and had you pinned down under him

“I-I’m going to…kill you next time you ab-abandon me”

His eyes and mouth were twitching and you were scared for you life when you felt his icy hands wrap tightly around your neck

You gasped for air but didn’t fight back.

This was just like when you were younger. You just took the abuse because you were so sure it would end one day.

You were losing consciousness the moment Seven walked through the door and found you pinned down.

He pushed saeran off of you but you’re already out cold.

Seven locked him in the basement until he calmed down and waited for you to gain consciousness again.

“MC, why do you still stay with him? You know he’s going to hurt you so much. I mean I know you’re a grown adult but this isn’t healthy…”

You turned away from Seven. Of course he wouldn’t understand you. He’d already given up on his brother

But you still had hope (it was delusional hope) that Saeran would one day be rehabilitated.

Seven, the therapists, and everyone with a logical mind knew that Saeran was better off in an asylum.

And so you told Seven to leave you and Saeran alone because “Saeran will be okay one day.”

The abuse never stopped. But you never stopped forgiving Saeran. You were utterly convinced that he would change

Despite the pattern always repeating.

Even after years of physical torment from your “lover”, you stayed with him.

He was as possessive as ever. At night Saeran held you so tightly that you could move. And in the mornings you’d wake up with marks around your abdomen from how tight he held you

And let’s just say every time you two had intimate moments, you had trouble recovering

As he grew more violent, you grew more forgiving and delusional.

You loved him with all your heart because pain was the only form of love you ever received and forgiveness was the only thing you knew how to give

#mysme #mystic messenger #mysme angst #mystic messenger scenario #mysme scenario #mystic messenger headcanon #mystic messenger spoiler #mysme spoiler

113 notes · View notes

mrsbluebertgreggleson · 5 years

Link

A federal judge raised serious constitutional questions about the Legislature’s crackdown on Amendment 4, saying lawmakers created a “mess” that has left felons afraid to register to vote.

“What we have now is an administrative nightmare,” said U.S. District Judge Robert Hinkle, who is overseeing a challenge to the law by the American Civil Liberties Union and other groups, during a Tuesday hearing in Tallahassee.

The ACLU asked Hinkle to temporarily stop the law, which requires felons to pay back all court fees, fines and restitution to victims before being allowed to vote. Hinkle is expected to rule on it in the coming weeks.

But Hinkle made clear that the Legislature’s law, which critics have called a “poll tax,” raises constitutional questions that attorneys for Gov. Ron DeSantis, Secretary of State Laurel Lee and county elections supervisors were unable to answer after two days of arguments.

It’s become an administrative nightmare, he said, because of problems created by lawmakers. Even so, he said it was the Legislature that was best suited to fix the law, which he said was preferable to judges like himself trying to fix it.

Amendment 4 was supposed to reverse a 150-year-old racist law and restore the right to vote to most felons in Florida who completed “all terms of sentence, including probation and parole.”

An attorney for those who helped pass Amendment 4 in 2018 had said “all terms” included court fees, fines and restitution, and the state’s GOP-controlled Legislature imposed those terms this year, despite nationwide criticism that their plan would stop poor people from voting.

Hinkle on Tuesday agreed that lawmakers created a system that kept people from voting who couldn’t ever afford to pay back those fees.

And that was a problem, he said, because of a crucial 11th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals ruling from 2005, Johnson v. Bush, which was also a challenge to the state’s Jim Crow-era law preventing felons from voting.

“Access to the franchise cannot be made to depend on an individual’s financial resources,” the opinion states.

Because whatever he decides is almost certain to be appealed, Hinkle told lawyers that the opinion was his “starting point” on whether the Legislature’s law is legal.

He said his view wasn’t radical, noting that eight of the 12 circuit judges signed off on the 2005 ruling.

“These are not judges on the fringe,” he said.

On top of that, Hinkle questioned whether the Legislature’s actions might have run afoul of the 24th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The amendment states that voting in federal elections “shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any State by reason of failure to pay any poll tax or other tax.”

Hinkle did not call it a “poll tax.” But he did wonder whether requiring felons to pay court fees constituted an “other tax.”

Court fees are created to subsidize the court system, and judges have no discretion over them, Hinkle noted.

“Why is that not a tax?” he asked lawyers for the state.

They had no good answers.

Attorney Mohammad Jazil represented Lee, who as secretary of state oversees Florida’s elections systems. He said court fees were merely another burden felons had to pay back to society for their actions.

Hinkle seemed unconvinced.

What was apparent after the day and a half of debate is that lawmakers created an almost hopelessly complicated process for felons to restore their rights.

Felons have no easy way to determine if they can vote. Clerks of court are unable to confirm whether some felons have paid back all their fees. And elections supervisors are using voter registration forms that are different from those used by Lee.

Lawmakers now require voters to check one of three boxes when they register: (a) that they’ve never been convicted of a felony; (b) if they have been convicted of a felony, to affirm they’ve had their right to vote restored by the state’s clemency board; (c) if they have been convicted of a felony, to affirm they’ve had their right to vote restored by Amendment 4.

Submitting false information on the form is a third-degree felony, carrying up to five years in prison and a $5,000 fine.

Hinkle said the options on the form make no sense, and don’t even apply to people who were convicted in other states. Amendment 4 only applies to convictions in Florida state courts. Leon County’s elections supervisor said he was still using the old form because it was less confusing.

Hinkle wondered whether the new form was intended to discourage felons from registering, since they could later discover they still owe fees from some long-ago felony case.

Lawyers for the state again had no good answer. Jazil conceded that the language was “inartfully worded,” and that the secretary of state was considering adding additional check boxes to cover people convicted in other states.

Felons described for Hinkle the byzantine, and sometimes insurmountable, efforts they’ve had to go through to find out if they owe any fines, fees or restitution, or the damages felons must pay as part of their sentence.

No agency in Florida tracks restitution, for example, meaning felons who stopped paying it can’t find out how much they still owe. And while county clerks of court track payment of court fees and fines, they’ve had massive trouble with older cases.

Betty Riddle, 61, has drug-related felony convictions dating to 1975. She testified that the Sarasota County clerk hasn’t been able to dig up her old records to tell her how much, if anything, she owes on cases before 1990. The clerk in Hillsborough County couldn’t produce any records at all from her 1988 case, she said.

A supervisor at the Leon County clerk of court testified the office didn’t even have records about court fees and fines for convictions before 1998.

Other felons said the sources of information were unreliable. Attorneys showed two examples where the Florida Department of Law Enforcement’s criminal database showed felons owed nothing, but county clerk websites showed felons owed thousands of dollars.

The Legislature allowed felons to pay their financial obligations another way: by converting them to community service hours, typically at $10 per hour. But Hinkle scoffed at the idea.

“You’re not going to win on the argument you’ve come up with some alternatives,” Hinkle told lawyers for the state and supervisors. “If you had a $25,000 fine in a drug case, nobody’s going to work that off through community service hours.”

Hinkle said the Legislature could, and probably should, make changes to the law, saying they were “free to adopt provisions more generous to felons than Amendment 4.”

Lawmakers had the chance to do that during this year’s legislative session. State Sen. Jeff Brandes, R-St. Petersburg, advocated for a bill that would allow felons to vote while they paid down their fines and fees.

But in the last week of session, GOP lawmakers instead chose the more restrictive route.

Hinkle said a new law could resolve many issues felons are facing and that action by lawmakers would be better than a judge like himself deciding how the law should be implemented. He set a trial date for April 6, three weeks after the next legislative session ends.

“The Legislature,” he said, “can make it a whole lot easier.”

Article published and updated October 8, 2019, written by Lawrence Mower.

And:

Clifford Tyson wants to help choose America’s next president. But the Florida resident fears his vote might return him to jail.

Tyson, 63, owes court-ordered fines and fees for three felony convictions, one for robbery, two for theft, all decades old. Under a Florida law that went into effect July 1, he must pay those penalties before casting a ballot or risk being prosecuted for voter fraud.

Tyson searched court records, first on his own, then with the help of a nonprofit legal advocacy group. They say that because Florida has no comprehensive system for tracking such fines, the documents don’t make clear what he owes. The records, viewed by Reuters, show potential sums ranging from $846 to a couple thousand dollars related to crimes he committed in the late 1970s and 1990s. Tyson says he won’t risk voting until Florida authorities can tell him for sure.

“Until there is clarity, as much as I want to vote, I won’t do it,” Tyson said.

The Tampa pastor is now a plaintiff in a lawsuit challenging the payments law, which was crafted by Florida’s Republican-controlled legislature and signed by Governor Ron DeSantis, also a Republican. The law came just months after Floridians approved a ballot initiative restoring voting rights to more than 1 million felons who have completed their sentences; that change to the state’s Constitution created a potentially huge new crop of voters in a critical battleground state ahead of the 2020 presidential election.

The lawsuit, filed in June by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), the Brennan Center for Justice, and the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) Legal Defense and Educational Fund, alleges the fees requirement defies the will of Florida voters and amounts to an illegal poll tax on newly enfranchised Florida felons, many of them minorities.

But another argument is shaping up to be central to the plaintiffs’ case: Florida has no consolidated system for determining what felons owe or certifying that they have paid up. It’s a situation that ex-offenders say makes it virtually impossible for them to prove they are eligible to vote.

Those claims are bolstered by state election officials who say they can’t calculate what felons owe, either, according to a Reuters review of 7 depositions, emails and other internal correspondence from voting administrators submitted by plaintiffs’ attorneys as part of the lawsuit.

Florida has no centralized database where records of court-ordered fines and fees - and any payments of those penalties - are stored, election and court officials say. To get that information, felons typically must search documents in courts where they were convicted, be they federal or state, inside or outside Florida. Records have been found to be incomplete, contradictory or missing, plaintiffs’ attorneys say.

With the Feb. 18 deadline to register for the state’s 2020 presidential primary approaching, the issue is taking on urgency. An estimated 436,000 felons have fees to settle before they can vote, according to a study by University of Florida political scientist Daniel Smith, an expert witness for the ACLU. The study was based on court data and Department of Corrections records.

The stakes are high. Florida commands 29 of the 538 electoral votes that are used under the U.S. Electoral College system to select the American president. In Florida and most other states, the candidate who places first in the popular vote – even if just by a hair – wins all the electoral votes. Florida has a history of tight elections and contested outcomes.

Plaintiffs’ attorneys say Florida has shifted all responsibility for compliance with the new payments law to ex-offenders, who risk prosecution if they get it wrong. The state contends the legislature merely implemented the constitutional amendment as it was written on the ballot.

The legislation, known as SB 7066, “sows seeds of confusion,” said Leah Aden, deputy director of litigation at the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund. “It will chill participation.”

Some of the state’s 67 county elections supervisors - the public servants who ultimately decide which felons get culled from the rolls and which can stay - expressed concern in their depositions and to Reuters about making mistakes that could invite challenges to future election results.

Five testified recently in the lawsuit that they lack the manpower to do detailed searches or have no way of ascertaining for certain whether ex-offenders have met their financial obligations under SB 7066.

They said they are relying on Florida’s Department of State, which manages the state’s elections, to help them determine who is ineligible. That agency is developing a procedure to send counties regularly updated lists of felons on their rolls who have unpaid fines and fees, but it has no timetable as to when it will be ready, said Maria Matthews, the director of the Department of State’s Division of Elections, in a September deposition. Matthews did not respond to multiple requests for comment.

For now, the agency is providing counties only with names of Florida felons who are incarcerated, and thus ineligible to vote, Toshia Brown, chief of the department’s Voter Registration Services, said in an August deposition. Brown did not respond to multiple requests for comment.

An early list sent to Leon County in Florida’s Panhandle region appeared to contain inaccuracies, Deputy Elections Supervisor Christopher Moore said in a July email to his staff, which was viewed by Reuters. Moore’s office researched a June list provided by the Department of State containing 66 names of allegedly incarcerated felons, but could not determine whether felony convictions existed for 24 of them – 36% of the total - emails exchanged between Moore and his staff show.

“This process is not off to a very accurate start and we are playing with people’s eligibility to vote,” Moore said in the July email. Moore told Reuters that subsequent data his office has received from the Department of State has gotten better.

Sarah Revell, a spokeswoman for the agency, said the Department of State reviews information from a variety of sources, makes an initial determination on a voter’s eligibility, then passes that along to county supervisors. She said the agency is working to “improve the accuracy and efficiency of the information,” but said it’s up to those elections supervisors to make the final call.

Some backers of the payments law say the responsibility should be on ex-offenders, not the state, to figure out how to comply with SB 7066.

“If you’re going to register to vote and you’re a former felon, it’s worth double checking to make sure you took care of everything,” said J.C. Martin, chairman of the Polk County Republican Party in central Florida.

A federal judge in the Northern District of Florida has set a Monday hearing on the plaintiffs’ request for a preliminary injunction to throw out the fees requirement. A decision could come as early as this month.

NO CENTRALIZED DATABASE

Florida stripped felons of their votes during the Jim Crow era in 1868, a ban that endured 150 years and disproportionately affected black voters. As recently as 2016, more than 1.4 million people with felony convictions were barred from voting in Florida, including one in five African American adults, according to The Sentencing Project, a criminal justice nonprofit, which used state conviction and incarceration records for the study.

In November 2018, nearly 65% of Florida voters approved a constitutional amendment restoring voting rights to felons, except those convicted of murder and sex crimes.

Through the end of July, Florida recorded around 337,000 new voter registrations, 45,000 of them by African Americans. That’s a 22% increase in new black voters compared to the same period in 2015, the year preceding the last presidential election, a Reuters analysis of Florida voting data shows.

The ballot initiative said felons must first complete “all terms of their sentence including parole or probation.” Republican lawmakers interpreted that to include any court costs, fines, fees and restitution to victims imposed at sentencing. In May, they passed a bill requiring repayment as a condition for voting.

DeSantis, the governor, signed it into law in June amid criticism by voting rights advocates that the legislation was intended to suppress potential votes of African Americans, who tend to vote Democratic. DeSantis has dismissed claims that the law is a poll tax.

The state is still discussing ways to centralize data to track payments. Building a consolidated system could take years and cost millions, according to lawmakers and officials who debated the issue before the law’s passage.

“Right now, the system is just a mess,” ACLU attorney Julie Ebenstein said.

Sean Morales-Doyle of the Brennan Center said the group spent weeks trying to track down what Tyson owes, but couldn’t get a clear answer.

For example, Tyson has a 1998 theft conviction in Hillsborough County on Florida’s Gulf Coast. A judgment order on the clerk’s online docket shows he was ordered to pay $661 in costs, fines and fees. But a separate subpage on the website indicates he was ordered to pay $1,066. Still another shows a total of $573. Tyson’s lawyers say no officials have been able to explain the discrepancies.

State Representative Jamie Grant of Tampa, a Republican supporter of SB 7066, said critics of the law are the ones trying to defy the will of the electorate.

“You don’t get to change what the definition and terms are after people vote for it,” Grant said.

Article published October 7, 2019, written by Linda So (link here), article link here.

#voting #florida #institutional racism #politics #elections #classism #the legal system #reuters #links #text post #long post

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the-record-newspaper · 5 years

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N.C. Ins. Commissioner Causey helps Feds with probe that leads to indictments of four

N.C. Insurance Commissioner

Mike Causey

By JERRY LANKFORD

Record Editor

When Republican N.C. Insurance Commissioner Mike Causey expressed concerns to Federal investigators about a company which he had inherited oversight from the previous commissioner, they became interested over time.

And eventually an investigation was launched that led to the indictments of that company’s owner, two men working for him and the head of North Carolina's Republican Party.

Indictments were handed down last Tuesday (April 2) in U.S. Federal Court's Western District in Charlotte against Greg E. Lindberg, 48, of Durham, who is founder and chairman of Eli Global LLC (Eli Global) and the owner of Global Bankers Insurance Group (GBIG); John D. Gray, 68, of Chapel Hill, a consultant for Lindberg; North Carolina's GOP Chairman and former U.S. Congressman Robin Cannon Hayes, 73, of Concord; and John V. Palermo, 63, of Pittsboro, chairman of the Chatham County Republican Party and an Eli Global executive.

According to the Department of Justice, the charges include "conspiracy to commit honest services wire fraud, and bribery concerning programs receiving federal funds and aiding and abetting." Hayes is also charged with three counts of making false statements to the FBI.

A press release from the Justice Department stated:

"A federal criminal indictment unsealed today (Tuesday, April 2) in the Western District of North Carolina charges the founder and Chairman of a multinational investment company, a company consultant, and two North Carolina political figures with public corruption and bribery, for their alleged participation in a bribery scheme involving independent expenditure accounts and improper campaign contributions."

The indictment outlines a "brazen bribery scheme in which Greg Lindberg and his coconspirators allegedly offered hundreds of thousands of dollars in campaign contributions in exchange for official action that would benefit Lindberg's business interests," said Assistant Attorney General Brian A. Benczkowski. "Bribery of public officials at any level of government undermines confidence in our political system. The Criminal Division will use all the tools at our disposal including the assistance of law-abiding public officials to relentlessly investigate and prosecute corruption wherever we find it."

All four men who were indicted entered "not guilty" pleas during their court appearances the same day the indictments were unsealed. Each of the four were released on $100,000 bond, on the condition that they turn in their passports and report any travel to federal probation officials.

Causey, 68, a Guilford County farmer, defeated incumbent Democrat Wayne Goodman in a close election in 2016. He had run four previous times for the post but was defeated.

Shortly after he was sworn in early in 2017, Causey said some of his employees expressed concerns that Global Bankers Insurance Group had been given special treatment under Goodwin's administration.

On Friday, Causey was at a conference in Florida. During a telephone interview with The Record, he said, "When I was sworn in, I put my left hand on Bible raised my right hand and I took an oath to protect and defend the Constitution of North Carolina and the Constitution of the United States. I take that oath seriously. Every elected official takes the same oath. As Insurance Commissioner my job is to protect the policy holders and make sure they are being well served along with all the consumers in North Carolina. What goes hand in hand with that is ensuring the financial solvency of insurance companies doing business in North Carolina. In the case of Eli Global and of Global Bankers Insurance Group they are headquartered in Durham."

Causey said that those companies were "brought to North Carolina under the previous leadership," referring to former Democrat Insurance Commissioner Goodwin.

Causey said the sp-ring after he took office, his campaign treasurer called him and told him that $10,000 in campaign contributions - $5,000 from Lindberg and $5,000 from Lindberg's then wife - had been made toward his 2020 reelection campaign. In North Carolina, $5,400 is the limit that one person can donate to an election campaign.

During Causey's interview with The Record, he said that he had his campaign treasurer return the money.

"I returned that money out of an abundance of caution," he said.

Lindberg donated $500,000 to the state Republican Party, and the indictment says Hayes directed a donation of $250,000 to Causey, with a promise of another $250,000 later. Lindberg also gave $1.5 million to a group called the North Carolina Growth and Prosperity Committee, which had been promised to Causey's campaign, according to the indictment.

In return for these contributions, Lindberg allegedly wanted Causey to remove or transfer a senior deputy commissioner who was overseeing Global Bankers Insurance Group, according to the indictment.

Apparently there were several clandestine meetings between Causey and Lindberg and his associates. It also appears that Causey wore a wire on at least some of these occasions, recording the alleged bribery attempts.

Causey said he couldn't comment on specifics of the case "since it's an ongoing investigation."

According to reports, Lindberg's first donation in N.C. politics came in February 2016, when he hosted a fundraiser for Democrat Goodwin. It is reported that Lindberg and business associates donated $125,000 to Goodwin in 2016, the year he lost to Causey, and that Lindberg gave $425,000 to the N.C. Opportunity Committee, which was created to support Goodwin.

Based on reports, the tide of the money turned after Causey defeated Goodwin. Goodwin, 52, was elected North Carolina Commissioner of Insurance in the 2008 election and re-elected in 2012. He was narrowly defeated by Causey in his bid for a third term in 2016. In February of 2017 he was elected chairman of the North Carolina Democrat Party on the first ballot with 92 percent of the vote among four candidates. Goodwin previously served as a Democrat member of the North Carolina General Assembly representing districts that included Richmond, Stanly, Scotland and Montgomery counties.

Meanwhile, the investigation continues and sources say that more indictments may be forthcoming.

Causey is being hailed by some as a political hero.

When asked by The Record about what kind of response he's been getting since the news came out last week, Causey said, "Every bit of the feedback I've received from employees, the public and other states has been totally positive toward me. People are saying, 'Thank you for what you're doing.'"

But the duty remains. "We're continuing to do our jobs," Causey said. "We have people on the phone every day helping consumers." As far as day-to-day operations at the N.C. Department of Insurance, "Nothing has changed."

About the black eye his own political party has received since the indictments were unsealed, Causey said simply, "This is a situation that crosses party lines. It's all about the money."

To see the timeline of events as given by WRAL-TV in Raleigh click on link below.

https://www.wral.com/key-dates-in-the-investigation-of-north-carolina-billionaire-political-donor/18315725/

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panicatthecatcafe · 3 years

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Pride Month Reflections in 2021

I used to tell myself I would come out to my extended family and friends when it became relevant. When there was something to tell. A person I was seeing that I would need to explain to the family. In my family, you’re never just telling one person. It’s a network of gossip-one I’ve gleefully taken part in when, for instance, my cousin got his first girlfriend, and my grandma and I gossiped for a half hour about everything we knew.

It also just seemed unnecessary to go through the effort of making a “coming out” post on facebook or instagram. I knew some family members would be offended, not by my sexuality, but by the fact that they were not told personally. My decision to go to grad school, for instance, when announced on facebook, was met with congratulatory, but underhanded remarks about “how am I just hearing about this.”

I came out to my sisters and mother freshman year of college. I had fallen hard for a friend, to the point of no longer being able to deny that my attraction to women was not simply an aesthetic one. I’d come out to my roommate (actually at the same time she came out to me) and my high school best friend several weeks earlier. While those experiences were nerve wracking to some degree, mostly because I was afraid, luckily completely unfounded, that my attraction to women would make my roommate uncomfortable sharing a room with me, it was nothing compared to the heart-pounding, sweating, all encompassing shaking when I came out to my mom. I’ve still never talked about it with my dad. When I asked my mom once if he knew, she said “I must’ve told him at some point? Yeah, I’m sure I must’ve.” While this was not a completely confident response, my dad can hardly be confused at this point, none the least because he kindly told me I had been tagged in a “Queers on Stage” post just in case there was anyone I wasn’t ready to know I was, indeed, part of the queer of Queers on Stage.

In college, I was delighted that 90% of my friends also experienced queer attraction and romance, and truly every single one of my high school close friends has since come out, at least to our friend group. I’ve kissed two of my best friends onstage in multiple shows, sent hundreds of gay memes in group chats, and generally found myself in such queer friendly spaces that I was able to forget that non-queer spaces exist, particularly because I graduated during the early days of the pandemic and ended up only seeing my 4 vegetarian, radical leftist, majority queer housemates for 12 months.

So I found myself unexpectedly shaken when I received a text from my grandmother out of the blue. The only part of which I could preview said “Hello my Gay Catholic [my name]. Yes, it was brought to my attention.” +1 for her subtle dig at the impersonal method of discovery about my own affairs. I knew what this must have been in response to. My sister had posted a message for pride month affirming the place of the queer community in religious spaces, and her own personal commitment to allyship. An absolute asshole commented something stating that accepting queer people as they are was leading them away from the church and was harming their ability to get into heaven. After vocalizing several cuss filled responses, which included a wrathful yell that catholics like him are the reason that queer people don’t and never have felt welcome in catholic spaces, I replied with “Please delete your comment-sincerely, a queer catholic” and reported him. I’m not sure if my report deleted his comment or my sister did (I highly doubt he deleted his own comment and for that he can f*ck off!), but it must have been up long enough for my grandma to see it.

I have a lot of complex feelings for my grandma. Some of my favorite memories from childhood involved making crafts with her, decorating cookies, unwrapping ornate Christmas presents at her house, and eating her incredible cooking. On the other hand, in recent years she’s gotten swept up in far right ideologies, to the point of publicly announcing that Biden stole the election through voter fraud, among other ridiculous conspiracy theories. But, she also pulled me aside during my sister’s wedding to genuinely ask how she should address one of my sister’s friends who was trans and using new pronouns. I have trouble reconciling the grandma who makes far right posts on facebook with the one who I wrote an essay about in 2nd grade for the prompt “who is your hero”, talking about her beating cancer and her upbeat look on life.

Looking at the preview of the text on my phone, I found it hard to imagine she’d sent a condemnation, but I couldn’t help but worry. When I’m nervous or feel like I’m about to get bad news, I feel as if ice has travelled through my entire body, my hands start shaking, and I lose all strength in my limbs. I have a theory that the overwhelming majority of queer people will still experience anxiety coming out to someone, even when they know that the response will be a positive one. Even when things go well, they don’t go like you planned. When I came out to my mom, my sister and I were sitting in the backseat of the car, driving back from a rehearsal together. I couldn’t pay attention to any part of the conversation because I just kept telling myself “I’ll say it to her at 9:45pm. 9:45. 10 more minutes. 5. 1. 0. Mom I’m bi” The statement was entirely at odds with whatever they had been talking about before, coming out of nowhere, which may have explained how slow my mom was on the uptake. She said ok and something else affirmative, but didn’t mention anything about how she loved me to my recollection. Or if she did it felt somewhat rote. I remember feeling disappointment. We stopped by the store, however, and she picked up a “bai” drink and said “look it’s you!” and I knew things would be ok. Later, my sister would tell me that mom was just sad I hadn’t told her earlier.

I don’t think straight people understand that it is harder to come out to someone you’ve known for a long time (or indeed forever) than to someone you’ve known for a few months, such as my roommate. Coming out to someone who has known you for years feels like you’re telling them “I’ve been lying to you all this time” particularly when thinking about statements you may have made to assert your straightness to yourself and others. I remember being relieved when I found a photo of Draco Malfoy attractive in middle school because I thought it meant I had to be straight. The time in 9th grade that a girl flipped her hair and I was captivated? I was just envious because she was prettier than me. My disappointment in my mom’s response was furthered when I took her and the family to see Love, Simon, in the hopes that the movie could explain what I couldn’t about how hard it is to come out to the people you love and who love you. After the movie, I was crushed when she said “I don’t know why he was so nervous to come out to them.”

All this to say, it took me an hour to gear myself up to open the text. Inside was this message:

“Hello my Gay Catholic [my name]. Yes, it was brought to my attention. I love you for who you are not what you choose (unless it’s evil destructive murderous) . And you are from that. You are the most vivacious, loving, happy, energetic, intelligent, sassy with heart 💜 ❤️💜 kinda person who sparkles in everything you do.

Remember, you cannot force people to change their minds. Reciprocate & allow them to be them, allow the space, and time. And if they don’t, don’t take it personally. It doesn’t mean they dislike you. Love unconditionally and tell them you still love/like them.

I L🌺VE YOU”

The first time I read it I focused on the positive. She loved me (even if she made assumptions about my queer identity with the label she chose when I don’t even fully know how to label myself other than queer). Reading it the second and third time, I got frustrated. I was frustrated because I hate the idea that we have to come out at all. I didn’t mean my comment to be taken as a “hello world please accept me!” It was awkward and I shouldn’t have to ask for people’s acceptance, especially from my loved ones. Then I got mad, because the second paragraph told me I had to accept others when they wouldn’t accept me. This is probably where I experience the most cognitive dissonance with my catholic faith. I’m supposed to turn the other cheek, but at the same time, when other people are hurting me for something I cannot change and does no harm to others, how can I not respond to that in a negative way or take it personally? Maybe that’s why I don’t feel like coming out, because it gives people the chance, however unlikely, that they can reject me. However, if I live my life, post as I like, share content, and hopefully someday share moments with a person I love, I am simply living an unremarkable life in the truest sense of the word. I don’t accept unconditional love when that love is toxic or harmful. I’ll say it again, if someone tells me I’m going to hell for being queer, they are choosing to target a part of me I cannot change and that doesn’t actively cause harm to others. They are causing harm to me in targeting my identity. And I count myself lucky because I am a white woman of unremarkable face and body that doesn’t give off strong queer vibes. Others in the community face far worse physical and mental violence because of people who refuse to “change their minds”.

I started this essay intending to write about the fact that I am turning 23 and have only ever kissed someone as part of a character I played onstage. I’ve been on a few first dates, but have never been in a relationship or even felt close to one. I experience true attraction so rarely that I can count it on one hand. I don’t know who I am and I often feel like there must be something wrong with me because I’ve never found myself romantically involved. I expected this essay to be an in-depth analysis of my feelings of inferiority and imposter syndrome in the queer community, but unexpectedly this feels like something else. You don’t need to be sexually or romantically active to be a part of the queer community. This community is about acceptance. It’s about love. It’s about calling out harm and rooting out exclusivity. At least, that’s the kind of community it should be. I’m not gonna lie, we have a long way to go, but at the root of what makes us different is our ability to be expansively, intentionally, and incandescently ourselves. Whether or not I end up with a romantic partner anytime soon (and yes I am taking offers), I know myself better than anyone and I know I belong. And, as I once wrote defiantly on my arm during a tough day for middle school me, I know I should “do no harm and take no shit”.

#queer #queerpride #pridemonth #acceptance #family #comingout #single

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coralinemybessyjk08insuranc-blog · 5 years

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douglasacogan · 5 years

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Gearing up for the federal sentencing of Felicity Huffman and others involved in college bribery scandal

Just over a week before the highest-profile sentencing of the bunch, USA Today has this lengthy review of federal sentencing realities and prospects for a range of defendants involved in the college bribery scandal. The piece if headlined "Felicity Huffman to kick off sentencing of parents in college admissions case: Will judge 'send a message?'," and merits a read in full. Here are a few excerpts:

The Justice Department suffered a setback in June when the first defendant sentenced in the nation's college admissions scandal, a former Stanford University sailing coach, avoided any prison time. The prosecution soon has an opportunity to rebound as the historic "Varsity Blues" case enters a critical new phase.

Parents who pleaded guilty to paying Rick Singer, the mastermind of a nationwide college admissions cheating and bribery scheme, are set to be sentenced, beginning next week. Fifteen parents, three college coaches and two other co-conspirators of Singer are to be sentenced this fall.

First up is one of the two celebrities charged in the sweeping case: actress Felicity Huffman, whose sentencing is set for Sept. 13. In a deal with prosecutors, Huffman pleaded guilty in May to conspiracy to commit mail fraud and honest services mail fraud for paying Singer $15,000 to have someone correct her daughter's SAT answers.

At the time of her plea, prosecutors recommended four months in prison for the "Desperate Housewives" actress, substantially lower than the maximum 20 years the charges could carry. They recommended 12 months of supervised release, a $20,000 fine and other undetermined amounts of restitution and forfeiture....

If Huffman and the parents who follow her in court also avoid prison time, some criminal justice advocates said, it would signal to the public that the rich and connected can get away with cheating the system. “The criminal scheme carried out in this case shocks the conscience and underscores the way in which wealthy people can exploit their privileged status to their benefit and to the detriment of others," said Kristen Clarke, president and executive director of the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law. "These federal crimes must not be treated lightly in order to send a strong message that no one is above the law and that wealthy people will be held accountable."

Clarke said the crimes committed by parents in the case "undermine public confidence" in the college admissions process and show universities must "redouble their efforts" to ensure diversity on campuses. She noted most of the wealthy parents who participated in the scheme are white. She called the case a "unique opportunity" to hold accountable individuals "who feel that money, race and privilege can allow them to evade the justice system."

Of the 51 people charged in the college admissions scandal, 34 are parents accused of making significant payments to Singer's sham nonprofit group, the Key Worldwide Foundation. Prosecutors said they paid to have someone secretly take ACT or SAT tests for their children, change poor results or get them falsely tagged as athletic recruits to get them into college.

Huffman was originally scheduled to be the third parent sentenced in the case, but the sentencing hearings of two other parents who pleaded guilty, Devin Sloane and Stephen Semprevivo, were pushed back to later this month.

The delays will allow U.S. District Judge Indira Talwani, who presides over the cases of Huffman and other parents, to hold a hearing Tuesday on a legal dispute that could determine the severity of some sentences. The judge will consider whether to listen to probation officers, who identified no financial losses to any victim in the case, which could mean lighter sentences for many parents. Prosecutors object to the potential lighter sentencing guidelines and do not want Talwani to confer with the probation department in the admissions case....

Both sides are likely to file sentencing memos to the court that will make final arguments and sentencing recommendations to Talwani before next week's hearings. "If there isn't at least a request for a strong sentence, even if it isn't granted, then I think it would seem like there's sort of different justice for different people," said Carl Tobias, a law professor at the University of Richmond who specializes in federal courts. "I do think they will continue to press," he said of the prosecution, "and part of it is to make an example that everybody ought to be equal before law and this is not appropriate behavior."

Because no parents have been sentenced to date in the admissions scandal, Tobias said it's tricky to predict what's in store for Huffman and those sentenced after her. "We'll see what arguments are made and how her defense attorney frames it. That could be important," he said. "And, if Huffman has more to say that may account for something, too."

Huffman, 56, apologized to the "students who work hard every day to get into college." She fought back tears when she pleaded guilty in court. One fact that may play in her favor is the substantially lower amount of money she paid compared with other parent defendants. Singer typically charged parents $15,000 to carry out the test cheating and higher amounts to pay off college coaches to get their children admitted as athletic recruits. The latter cost more because it guaranteed a child's entry into college.

Sloane, CEO of Los Angeles-based waterTALENT, which builds water systems, pleaded guilty to paying $250,000 in bribes to Singer's organization to falsely designate his son as a water polo player so he could gain acceptance to the University of Southern California. Prosecutors recommended he serve 15 to 21 months in prison. Semprevivo, an executive at Cydcor, a privately held provider of outsourced sales teams, pleaded guilty to paying $400,000 to Singer to get his son admitted into Georgetown University as a fake tennis recruit. Prosecutors recommended a prison sentence of 18 months for him....

The sentence for Vandemoer, the ex-Stanford sailing coach, was decided by U.S. District Judge Rya Zobel. She presides over Singer's case but is not assigned to any of the cases involving parents or other coaches. Singer pleaded guilty to four felonies and is cooperating with prosecutors. Although prosecutors didn't get the sentence they wanted for Vandemoer, the case doesn't necessarily foreshadow how the next round of sentences will go. As part of an agreement with prosecutors, Vandemoer pleaded guilty to racketeering charges.

The case had unique circumstances. None of the students tied to the payments was admitted into Stanford as a direct result of the coach's actions, leading Zobel to question whether the university suffered any losses. Vandemoer funneled payments directly to the school's sailing program and did not pocket any of the bribe money he took from Singer. Zobel called Vandemoer "probably the least culpable of all the defendants."

Twenty-three defendants in the college admissions case, including Huffman, pleaded guilty to felonies; 28 others pleaded not guilty, including actress Lori Loughlin. How the first group of parents is sentenced could affect whether other parents plead guilty or dig in for trial, according to Adam Citron, a former state prosecutor in New York, who practices at Davidoff Hutcher & Citron.

That's the biggest concern for prosecutors, he said. "It could go two ways. If (the parents) are getting jail time even on pleas, a defendant may think to themselves, 'I better plea out because I don't want more jail time,' " Citron said. "By the same token, that defendant might say to themselves, 'I'm going to get jail anyways, so I might as well fight it.' "

Prior related posts:

Mapping out next possible celebrity sentencings in wake of indictment in college admissions scandal

Big batch of federal plea deals (with relatively low sentencing ranges) in college admissions scandal

Summer sentencing (with notable particulars) for first college admission scandal parents to enter pleas in court

Federal district judge rejects feds request for significant prison term in first sentencing of college bribery scandal

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kartiavelino · 5 years

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Jenni “JWoww” Farley Shares Epic “Glow Up” Photo in the Ultimate Jersey Shore Throwback

Rob Latour/Shutterstock New JWoww, who dis? On Monday, JWoww—née Jenni Farley—reached a major milestone on Instagram and she wanted to celebrate it in a special way. The 33-year-old posted a photo on the social media platform that was a side-by-side image of herself from the early Jersey Shore days next to a more current image. “In honor of hitting 7 million followers, I shall post this amazing glow up,” she wrote. “from looking like I haven’t showered… to contour, filters and fillers… but always the same expression #unbothered.” She added at the end, “love all of you. even the hating ass ones.” Under the first photos, a caption was partially cut off but pretty clearly said, “I will rip his head off.” JWoww has turned her glow up into a lucrative career for herself. She owns Naturally Woww, a skincare company that is “built on three main principles – pure, simple, innovative.” JWoww founded the company because she wanted to use products that she “could trust” and didn’t contain any harmful ingredients. The mom of two has come a long way since her early Jersey Shore days (it premiered in 2009), but the cast members are still as friendly as ever. For instance, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is currently serving an 8-month sentence in federal prison for tax fraud, but his friends often stop by FCI Otisville for friendly visits. The love and bonds have even extended to the next generation because Jersey Shore kids love each other as much as their parents do. The cast always comes together for big reasons to celebrate. From partying it up at JWoww’s birthday bash in Atlantic City to hanging out at Snooki‘s baby sprinkle, this friend group remains close-knit and sticks with each other through the glow ups and breakups. JWoww is hardly the only Jersey Shore cast member with a substantial makeover. Take a look at the photos below to see the cast then and now. Scott Gries/Picture Group for MTV Jersey Shore Cast: Then and Now Almost 10 years later and we’re still GTLing. Jersey Shore premiered in 2009, changing reality TV and the rest of the country’s opinion of the Garden State forever. The MTV series introduced viewers to eight unforgettable Guidos and Guidettes as they spent the summer partying in a house in Seaside Heights. After six seasons, 71 episodes and a trip to Italy, the show stopped fist-pumping in 2012 only to dance their way back into our hearts in 2018’s Jersey Shore Family Vacation. Here’s how they’ve changed since their TV debuts all those years ago: MTV; Bennett Raglin/Getty Images Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi Arguably the breakout star of Seaside, Snooki has gone on to make numerous appearances on reality shows, including Dancing With the Stars and Celebrity Apprentice. She and co-star JWoww also landed their own spinoff, which focused on their transition into motherhood, and she tried out professional wrestling for a bit in 2011. Snooki married Jionni LaValle in 2014, and the couple has two children together, and are expecting their third. Dr. Tutela told E! News the mother of two came to his office more than a year ago for a breast lift and implants to combat sagging after breastfeeding. “This is a very common operation after pregnancy and breast feeding and is truly restorative surgery,” he said. “Nicole is a great mom and lives a healthy life style. She has a diet and exercise plan in place that keeps her fit and feeling good.”In addition to the surgery, Tutela said she also comes in for regularly Botox injections to help prevent wrinkles on the forehead and in between her eyebrows. MTV; Jerod Harris/Getty Images Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino The Situation has made the reality show rounds since leaving the Shore, appearing on Dancing With the Stars, Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars, Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Family Edition, Worst Cooks in America and Celebrity Big Brother in the UK. He pleaded guilty to tax evasion in January and, after years of prescription drug addiction, Sorrentino turned his life around, went to rehab and has been sober for more than two years now. With his new outlook on life, Sorrentino aims to keep looking great. According to Dr. Tutela, “The Situation” came into the office for Botox injections. “Everyone enjoyed a touch-up before filming the new show, and I think it’s really helpful when being on camera,” the doctor explained. “The key is not to use too much so your results remain natural and don’t look overdone.” He’s currently serving an 8-month prison sentence at the Federal Correctional Institution in Otisville, N.Y. Article continues below MTV; Thos Robinson/Getty Images Jenni “Jwoww” Farley In addition to the spinoff with Snooki, JWoww also appeared on One Life to Live, Worst Cooks in America and Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars after leaving the Shore. JWoww married her longtime love Roger Mathews in 2015, and the couple has two children together, Meilani Alexandra and Greyson Valor. She filed for divorce from Mathews in September 2018. MTV; Jerod Harris/Getty Images Vinny Guadagnino Like Snooki and JWoww, Vinny also stayed in the MTV family after Jersey Shore, landing his own talk show, The Show With Vinny, in 2013. He also landed a cooking show with his mother, Vinny & Ma Eat America, which aired on The Cooking Channel. Vinny, 29, also wrote a book, Control The Crazy: My Plan To Stop Stressing, Avoid Drama, and Maintain Inner Cool, and released a clothing line, IHAV. In the premiere episode of Jersey Shore Family Vacation, Guadagnino also revealed he’s been keeping a strict exercise routine and has been following a ketogenic diet. He and Pauly D searched for love in their very own dating show called Double Shot at Love. MTV; Leon Bennett/Getty Images Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio The DJ found romance with Aubrey O’Day on season one of Famously Single, but the reality stars have since split. After Jersey Shore ended, Pauly D was the first cast member to get his own spinoff, The Pauly D Project, and in 2013, he welcomed a daughter, Amabella Sophia, with Amanda Markert. All these years later, he’s still rocking his signature blowout. Article continues below MTV; Mark Davis/Getty Images Ronnie Ortiz-Magro After an on-and-off again relationship with “Sammi Sweetheart” Giancola, Ron-Ron followed in Pauly D’s footsteps and went on the second season of Famously Single, where he ended up dating Malika Haqq. Sadly, they split after two months. Now, he’s a new dad to a baby girl with girlfriend Jen Harley. Physically, not much has changed for the GTL fan—except for maybe a new haircut. MTV; Paul Zimmerman/Getty Images Deena Nicole Cortese Deena, who joined the show original show in season three, is sporting a special new accessory these days—a wedding ring! The star married longtime boyfriend Chris Buckner in October 2017. Not to fret—she’s still committed to being one half of the show’s meatball duo. She and Chris welcomed their first child, a baby boy named Christopher John, on Jan. 5. MTV; Bennett Raglin/Getty Images Angelina Pivarnick After quitting the show in season two due to confrontations with cast members, Angelina, who described herself as “the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island,” went on to join the first season cast of Couples Therapy, and is now an EMT For FDNY. She’s also engaged to her longtime love Chris Larangeira. While fans await her surprise return to the Jersey Shore crew, Pivarnick is gearing up for a breast lift and implants with Dr. Tutela. “She has been so great setting up for surgery and is always texting to go over last minute jitters and asking questions about the recovery process,” he described. Article continues below Step aside GTL, it’s now time for gym, tan, glow. Don’t miss E! News every weeknight at 7, only on E! https://www.eonline.com/news/1043059/jenni-jwoww-farley-shares-epic-glow-up-photo-in-the-ultimate-jersey-shore-throwback?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-topstories&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_topstories The post Jenni “JWoww” Farley Shares Epic “Glow Up” Photo in the Ultimate Jersey Shore Throwback appeared first on Top Of The World. https://kartiavelino.com/jenni-jwoww-farley-shares-epic-glow-up-photo-in-the-ultimate-jersey-shore-throwback/

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didsbumeare-blog · 5 years

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Free dating network sites

Shy Passions Any sharing of email or street addresses with third party marketers is done only with the permission of the user by giving consent on signup or by changing their email setting preferences at a later date. Free Chat and Compatibility Match. Do not use any of the contact details in the message. Dating Dating Videos Hookup a Date and Find Your Perfect Match. You would be surprised how many real mugs of scammers pop up there. The example companies, organizations, products, people and events depicted herein are fictitious.

Shy Passions No need to enter the entire message or description, just the most prominent parts. The stories are so sad but it's a reality. Friendship and romance can be hard if you do not know where to go to find people. These measures are in place to increase the safety of this website and to keep it clean for our valued members. Especially any references to scams? The literature contains a lot of hype and exaggerations, but few specific details about costs, your obligations, how it works, etc. Download any file posted by another user of a Communication Service that you know, or reasonably should know, cannot be legally distributed in such manner. Of course you can do it manually, by visiting every social network out there, locating their search form and entering the suspect's email address in their search box.

Shy Passions Twitter has recently warned that scammers have tricked users into handing over their passwords and user names to commit identity theft or steal money. Often the scammer will pretend to need the money for some sort of personal emergency. Google Image Search is a very useful tool, in case you haven't heard of it. Twitter and MySpace came second and third among 18- to 30-year-olds. Type your name into a search engine and see how many hits you get. Put it in quotes, to make sure you are searching for this exact phrase.

totally free dating I dont have children, though i was married but i lost my wife on a car accidnt I also attach couple of my photos on this email i hope you like them. Members can post images of themselves but no identifying information is allowed to be posted with that image. . The scammers are good at what they do; they ask lots of questions of the victim regarding what they want in their lives. They play on emotional triggers to get you to provide money, gifts or personal details.

LYBACH: Free Social Networking Sites Detailed information can be found on this WebSite: 1. All private information can be updated or deleted by the user at any time. The security of your personal information is important to us. To get your prize might require travel overseas at your own cost and personal risk to receive it. The best place to find friends and find love is online. Changes are periodically added to the information herein.

totally free dating This information is gathered from all visitors to the site. ChummyClub is a totally free dating site. If we make material changes to this policy, we will notify you here, by email, or by means of a notice on our homepage. Never agree to transfer money for someone else. Sometimes the scammer will tell you about a large amount of money or gold they need to transfer out of their country, and offer you a share of it. And more than that Social Networking Sites can provide Users the opportunities to be more than friends in the safe manner. Regardless of how you are scammed, you could end up losing a lot of money.

LYBACH: Free Social Networking Sites Study included people from India, Brazil, Mexico, Kenya and South Africa. We reserve the right to modify this privacy statement at any time, so please review it frequently. This can be for assistance in cashing a check that they are unable to cash themselves and also asking for financial assistance to help them out of a difficulty they are having. Online dating and romance scams cheat Australians out of millions every year. Firewall Social Networking Sites for Dating These are the rules of our firewall: 1. It is the express wish to the parties that this agreement and all related documents be drawn up in English.

totally free dating Scammers take advantage of people looking for romantic partners, often via dating websites, apps or social media by pretending to be prospective companions. Providing these services is 100% free and forever free. Find others dealing with , , , or. Any rights not expressly granted herein are reserved. Social Networking Sites help you to find friends while traditional Online Dating Sites help you to find someone for dating.

Shy Passions If any part of this agreement is determined to be invalid or unenforceable pursuant to applicable law including, but not limited to, the warranty disclaimers and liability limitations set forth above, then the invalid or unenforceable provision will be deemed superseded by a valid, enforceable provision that most closely matches the intent of the original provision and the remainder of the agreement shall continue in effect. Public information is personal information such as gender, age, ethnic background, appearance, and more. They may use a fictional name, or falsely take on the identities of real, trusted people such as military personnel, aid workers or professionals working abroad. Enter the sentences from their messages or profile description in Google. Be careful about what personal information you put on the internet, because scammers can use these details to guess your passwords or to commit fraud. Check their pictures in Google Image Search.

#Shy #Passions

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benrleeusa · 5 years

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[Irina Manta] Judging Neomi Rao

Why college writings are complicated but the perfect solution fallacy is worse.

The legal world has been abuzz with the nomination of Neomi Rao, and my coblogger Jonathan Adler has detailed her accomplished background here. He has also criticized the focus on her college writings on topics such as homosexuality and consent. I have only met Neomi on a few occasions and hardly know her, so my observations in this post are largely those of an outsider that has access to similar information as the rest of the public.

First, I would like to point out that Republican politicians and parts of the conservative media have done Neomi no favors in comparing the accusations against her to those that Justice Brett Kavanaugh encountered. One example of this is her college classmate's Jeremy Carl's National Review piece entitled "The Kavanaughing of Neomi Rao", which manages not to reference Brett Kavanaugh by name a single time in the actual text of the article. Instead, we are served to unsubtle allusions in lines such as the one that "Rao is an outstanding nominee who, like many other conservatives, is not being attacked for her faults, but for her virtues." Meanwhile, Megan McArdle writes that Neomi "is being targeted by a similar sort of allegation — in the same family, but distantly related." In my view, whatever one thinks about the procedural aspects of Brett Kavanaugh's nomination and confirmation process, the accusations against him were significantly more serious than those against Neomi. Nobody has come forward to claim that Neomi committed sexual assault or otherwise broke the law. Additionally, Neomi admits--and states that she regrets--writing what she wrote about gender equality and the nature of sexual consent. Brett Kavanaugh admits nothing and regrets nothing when it comes to his relations with the female gender. Last but not least, Neomi is not under suspicion of having committed perjury at her hearings. Those who believe that there is any equivalence in unfair treatment of Neomi Rao and Brett Kavanaugh may want to revisit the latter's record regularly.

Second, should Neomi's college writings matter? Jonathan Adler emphatically says no, and David Lat has similarly urged for some time that judicial nominees' college writings should generally be left in the past. Lat makes very reasonable points about how people often change their views and how college should be a time for experimenting intellectually, lest we only accept what David Brooks termed organizational kids that never dare to say anything controversial. So why do college writings come up at confirmation hearings? One key reason, of course, is political opportunism, whereby both parties dig up all the dirt that they can. Another reason, however, raises more complications: judicial nominees were often less careful to hide their views in their youth than later in life when they entered the professional and especially political arena. I am therefore rather unconvinced when McArdle writes about Neomi: "If she's lying, there should presumably be some less elderly, and more relevant, evidence of deception." Given the nature of the political process, actually, no, I would not expect for there to be such evidence whatsoever because most people who have made it to the stage of being nominated by U.S. presidents are savvy enough not to produce it. At the end of the day, we do not know and cannot know for sure what Neomi or any other nominee thinks in her heart of hearts, an uncertainty that leaves us with some understandable anxiety given the great power of appellate court judges. That said, I would caution against dismissing an entire class of possible nominees because they were perhaps not raised by parents who were part of pre-existing political elites advising their children that in college they should "talk less, smile more".

Third, were the college writings that bad? I do find some of their content quite problematic, though unfortunately even when I attended Yale College several years after Neomi, in the early aughts, her past rhetoric on sexual consent was in line with what many other young conservatives believed (and some of them have become conservative commentators who to this day write similar things). I am troubled that Neomi wrote that "if [a woman] drinks to the point where she can no longer choose, well, getting to that point was part of her choice". For one, this potentially equates drunk dating with drunk driving in the sense that we should hold someone responsible (morally? legally? it's unclear) if the person gets raped similarly to how we would condemn someone (both morally and legally) for hitting someone with her car while drunk. But in the example of date rape, there is no legal offense without a rapist. Drunk dating does not make you a bad person the way drunk driving does, and implying otherwise is wrong. I don't buy that, as Ted Cruz at the hearings and conservative commentators since have tried to convince us, Neomi was simply trying to help women by giving them advice on how to protect themselves. Her statement was embedded in a moral (and potentially legal) context that unfortunately did lend itself to victim-blaming. I have explained in my scholarship on sexual fraud why the argument that someone could have done more to protect herself (even where factually accurate) is problematic because 1) that can be true of most crimes and torts and 2) it tells us nothing about what level of precaution is actually optimal at the societal level.

Fourth, that said, does this make Neomi Rao a particularly poor candidate for the D.C. Circuit? I doubt it. She shouldn't have said what she said, and I genuinely hope that she meant it when she disavowed those opinions at the hearing, but viewing her overall record, I find it hard to believe that she compares negatively in the pool of nominees that Donald Trump would realistically consider. This is where the perfect solution fallacy comes in: those who were already wiser on the topic of sexual consent in the 1990s are unlikely to be on the current political radar. Indeed, if Neomi's nomination got derailed, we would likely get a different Republican nominee who perhaps did not write anything in college newspapers but is no more likely to advance gender equality than the confirmation of Neomi Rao would. Note that this was not my view of Brett Kavanaugh and that, like Ilya Somin, I fully believe that a less problematic candidate could have been found if Kavanaugh failed to be confirmed given the gravity of his alleged conduct and behavior at the hearings.

Fifth, a broader problem remains, which is that while we are urged by some to forget what Neomi Rao said 25 years ago, that means she also had 25 years to express in a public forum that she changed her views. Monica Hesse writes in WaPo: "What I'd love is for someone to get it right. Some candidate or appointee to apologize not because a leaked photo had suddenly forced them to, but because they realized the error in their past behaviors, and they were prepared for an honest conversation illuminating America's hurtful past and the role they played in it." To be fair, perhaps Neomi didn't even remember what she wrote all those years back until it was brought up during the confirmation process. But those of us who put things in the press--even the college press--have a special responsibility to correct the record wherever possibly, a responsibility that is only increasing the more materials are available online and hence never truly become a part of the past. Of course, admitting to past intellectual mistakes can come at a (sometimes high) political price. Society can do its part in that respect by moving toward becoming more generous and hospitable toward those who step forward unprompted to say that they were once wrong and have changed their ways.

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poppystarrsbathspaposts-blog · 5 years

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Are you protected?

An article on Digital security and how to stay protected online.

‘Malicious software, also known as malware, is taking aim at your mobile devices’ (N/A 2018), as a mobile device is something, we all use nearly every day; if not every moment of the day, then I think we should start looking into how to protect our devices but only protect understand what possible issues could be facing us.

When looking into the topic at hand, Digital Security in the context of digital citizenship the main problem at the forefront is constant development and change. As we all know in our society everything is always improving and advancing and no everyone can catch up like they should be able to and we know this because Louis Reynolds and Ralph Scott write “diversification of social media, the growth of closed social media platforms and the proliferation of encryption- particularly among young people and extremists- poses new challenges to law enforcement agencies and intelligence services seeking to limit the activates of extremists online.” (Reynolds, L and Scott, R 2016). The fact is nothing will ever keep up with the constantly changing platforms of social media, however staying safe is the main problem at hand as there are ‘4.2 billion users’ as of 2019 (Smith, K 2019), this outrageous statistic can be very daunting, however that isn’t even half of the population, this is due to internet access but the main issue with that huge number is how to protect yourself from ‘4.2 Billion’ over users. There are many ways to protect yourself from hackers and malicious people, which can help to keep your private information private. I will list and explain these solutions later but for now, I will continue explaining other issues associated with Digital security.

As mentioned previously, many people have phones and therefore have access to the internet. This means that there are many people that can harm you online and steal encrypted files as well as your own personal information to commit identity fraud. In 2009 one hacker stole ‘Tens of millions of credit card details’ (ARN Staff, 2018), a hacker from Miami was convicted of stealing millions of credit card and debit card numbers from over 250 financial institutions, this shows that no everything is safe, but one of the main reasons he would have been able to do this was because of people not actually reading what they are accepting. We all know about those ‘Terms and conditions’ at the bottom of the page that we don’t ever read but click continue anyway, well that is important to so many hackers as it provides them with the information needed, this just goes to show that not everything is secure to make sure your safe you have to be aware that everything you own is up to date you have automatic updates turned on and that your information remains private, never share private information over the phone or over the internet as there are groups of hackers that monitor chats in hopes of getting the information they want and need. CNN have said "Once the hacker or someone in the underworld has personal information, credit card numbers, social security numbers, address, whatever it may be," says Harrington, once the hacker "has that information and wants to sell it, often they'll go to a hacker chat room, a place on the Web using an Internet Relay Chat which provides them some anonymity and allows them to mention that they have this personal information and they want to trade." (Miguel, R 2002) this shows that the hackers have the main power in this situation, but then sell it on to other people to do the ‘dirty work’ as it were. This again is reason why your cyber security should be kept private as people you may trust may not people the people you think.

Another crime which happens frequently, is identity theft. “Identity theft is becoming an increasingly common problem in the United Kingdom, as fraudsters discover more and more ways to get hold of the information which is required to steal someone’s identity.” (n/a 2018), this can be a scary thought as many of the ways in which your identity can be stolen is not always as oblivious as you may think, for example you make it the information yourself without even knowing. “Criminals can even use seemingly harmless pieces of information, such as your date of birth, to commit identity theft. Many companies in the United Kingdom will ask you for your date of birth as part of their verification process, so getting hold of your date of birth may enable a criminal to access other information about you.” (N/a 2018), this is so important to note at any age as the older generation, stereotypically won’t understand everything which is going on online and may be seen as an easy choice, however this can also be said for young children online as they may not have their parents’ permission, and all fall down to the tactics of said criminals. The scariest part of identity theft is the aftermath, what the criminals can actually do with said information, to be perfectly honest there is nothing they can’t do as once they get a hold of your personal information, they are able to do a large amount of different thing with said information. Some of the crimes can include:

· financial fraud, such as credit card fraud,

· bank fraud,

· tax rebate fraud,

· benefit fraud

· telecommunications fraud.

· entering (or exiting) a country illegally,

· trafficking drugs,

· smuggling other substances,

· committing cyber-crimes,

· laundering money

· and much more.

These acts of criminal offences can all be down in your name if the right information falls into the wrong hands. The main issue with crimes like these they may not always be trackable which means once the information is in their hands there is no hope for the victims, although the only ways to try and prevent such things from happening are to “take care to protect your data by being aware of your privacy settings on social media. Be aware of suspicious emails which may be phishing for data. Completely destroy all documents containing your personal data, rather than just discarding them with the rest of your rubbish” (n/a 2018)

As mentioned previously, I’m going to mention some ways to keep yourself safe online and keep your information to yourself. The first way in which to keep yourself safe is through making sure all your software is up to date as I did mention earlier on. This is probably the biggest help in keeping yourself safe online, as the constant updating of your phone, Laptops and other electronics may be annoying to us but are even more annoying to hackers as they need to learn how to hack through new systems which is a constant issue for them, this is so important and I highly recommend turning on your automatic updates as often time your electronic device will do it at night without even bothering you. The second way you can protect yourself online is through downloading a firewall, this is a very good option, but some do cost. The fire can give you extra layers of protection again such hackers and make sure your thoroughly protected as you can enable notifications to appear on screen to tell you if you’re on a secure site and better yet keep you off those sites, which is a very key part in internet safety some electronic devices like apple do say this may not be a secure sight, but give you the option to continue or go back and often times people don’t listen and continue which again puts you and your information in serious risk. The third and final way I can recommend staying safe online is simple but very effective and often time people fall down when it comes to this. Making sure you have a complex password. Yes, it is that easy. When creating a password do you stick to the simple name and number password? Or do you have upper- and lower-case letters in there with a sprinkle of obscure keys, this again may be very annoying to remember, but as long as you write it down and keep it safe. Not electronically, you will be fine. This simple yet highly effective solution is important and sometimes people don’t always remember to use it.

In summary, I created this blog entry to help understand some of the cyber-crimes that are out there as well as the ways to stay safe and make sure your information is protected. Many people fall prey to such things as listed above and hopefully with the help of this article and the few solutions provided you can stay safe online and won’t be targeted online by hackers.

Bibliography-

N/A 2018, 10 Cyber security facts and statistics for 2018, Norton

https://us.norton.com/internetsecurity-emerging-threats-10-facts-about-todays-cybersecurity-landscape-that-you-should-know.html

Image 1, Training Industry

https://trainingindustry.com/articles/compliance/developing-cybersecurity-literacy-in-the-workplace/

Reynolds, L and Scott, R (2016) Digital Citizens: Countering Extremisms online, Demos

Smith, K (2019) 122 Amazing Social Media Statistics and Facts, Brandwatch

https://www.brandwatch.com/blog/amazing-social-media-statistics-and-facts/#section-2

ARN Staff (2018) Top 10 most notorious cyber-attacks in history, ARN

https://www.arnnet.com.au/slideshow/341113/top-10-most-notorious-cyber-attacks-history/

Miguel, R (2002) Experts: Chat rooms a haven for hackers, CNN

http://edition.cnn.com/2002/TECH/internet/04/10/hackers.chat.rooms/index.html

N/A (2018) Identity Theft.

https://www.identitytheft.org.uk

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cryptnus-blog · 6 years

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Don't believe all the blockchain hype

New Post has been published on https://cryptnus.com/2018/11/dont-believe-all-the-blockchain-hype/

Don't believe all the blockchain hype

The following is a viewpoint by Benjamin L. Gerber, Executive Director at Midwest Renewable Energy Tracking System, a web-based platform that issues a unique, traceable digital certificate for every megawatt-hour of renewable energy generated by registered generators in any state or province in North America.

Blockchain advocates at their best are enthusiastic, dedicated and often gifted entrepreneurs who want to make a difference. I am continually impressed with the level of talent from many of the energy blockchain enthusiasts I meet and sometimes even have the pleasure of debating at conferences around the world.

However, at their worst, they are the modern snake oil salesmen that commit securities fraud and in the most egregious cases bilk unwitting investors out of millions by asking for donations to fund worthless initial coin offerings (ICO).

According to the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, “blockchain, also known as distributed ledger technology (DLT), functions through the participation of multiple individuals. Each “block” in a chain is comprised of a series of records secured by cryptography that describe preceding and current transaction data.

DLT can use a public or private network. “Any data stored on a public network is visible to all network participants, in encrypted form” and the record is maintained by network participants and there is no central authority. A private chain requires a network administrator that grants permission to individuals that then have access to the network.

Spotting the blockchain hype

The common blockchain promotion article is easy to spot and replicated across the internet. The article starts out by making unsubstantiated statements that blockchain can solve the energy industries’ problems more cost effectively, transparently and democratically than traditional technology (e.g., centralized databases). It then usually picks 1-3 areas of the energy world that it states are ripe for a blockchain revolution.

I must immediately concede the democratic point, as a pure distributed ledger at its core, should be about as pure of a democratic operation as possible. While great in theory, in practice, it usually does not work out as promised.

As can be seen with most institutions throughout history, human beings need rules, which is why our complicated society requires many third-party intermediaries that validate a given source of truth to prevent ourselves from our worst human inclinations. The same is true of distributed ledger systems. That is why organizations like L03 are using a “private, permissioned blockchain” for their Exergy product.

At its core, a group of people decide what the permissions are and who has access, much like today’s centralized databases. That is beginning to sound like a third-party administered database.

Note in the article Why blockchain will power the new energy network how the author states that a centralized database “adds millions in additional transaction costs and makes full transparency between market actors almost impossible.” However, the author goes on to give examples of permissioned private blockchains. At this time, a permissioned private blockchain is just a very expensive way to manage a traditional database and sell it as new technology.

A transactive future?

Transactive energy is often promoted as the future of blockchain in energy. The story starts with data that shows people want to buy local renewable energy — especially if it is from their neighbors. I do not doubt those surveys, nor do I think this is a particularly bad thing for people to want. However, in practice, it is much more complicated.

For example, a change to a local market facilitated by blockchain would require changing net metering — which regardless of your position on this is a political minefield. This change would also require substantial updates to the traditional or restructured utility model across much of the country. It would also involve utility customers or artificial intelligence — or some mixture of both — to set prices, geographic limits, price floors and ceilings, etc. to maximize the value on both sides of the transaction.

Assuming rational market actors, in the end, it is probably a lot of effort for little to no benefit for the producer and consumer after deducting the costs to manage the systems.

All the pro blockchain articles ultimately point out renewable energy credit (REC) markets as the number one target for distributed ledger disruption. First, it is important to note that REC markets were created intentionally through complicated legislative and regulatory processes. Some of the gripes I have encountered while running a REC tracking system are that bilateral transaction prices are not public, import/export is not available between all systems, fees are not transparent or uniform within and between systems, or that they are too expensive relative to the commodity value.

These are all human/organizationally created problems and not created by a specific technology choice. If the desire is to truly solve those problems identified by the many articles, the solution lies in a cultural shift and not necessarily in a new technology. The organization I run is actively trying to innovate and address many of the issues facing the industry.

Of the many misrepresentations I read about how blockchain can change REC markets, the promotion of data integrity is most concerning to me.

Garbage-In-Garbage-Out

As a technology, blockchain does not solve for the Garbage-In-Garbage-Out (GIGO) problem. Just because something is recorded on a blockchain does not make the data more reliable.

The enthusiasts often claim that because blockchains are immutable, the data is more reliable. However, as someone that administers a REC tracking system, I know that the data reported by the RTO can and sometimes does change between the initial reporting date and a later settlement date. This is common knowledge among those that administer REC systems.

However, once a block is created, it is much harder or impossible to change. That is not always a positive thing in the REC industry and it does not produce better data. The immutability touted as a benefit may actual become a huge problem.

While a recent article correctly points out that paper attestations are still used in REC markets to verify information, that is a choice made by parties to avoid the low cost of REC tracking systems.

I hear often if a commodity is only worth 30 cents, why would I pay even 1 cent to track it. I cannot figure out how a blockchain system will verify information at a lower cost than a centralized database and convince people to forego paper attestations as long as they are legal and accepted.

Again, this is a human problem and not a technology problem. This is why organizations like the International REC Standard are working in countries around the world to promote a consistent approach to REC issuance and tracking.

Avoiding confusion

It is important that the blockchain industry start getting serious about the way they communicate the technology. Overstating the uniqueness of the technology and continuing to make unsubstantiated cost savings claims will only heighten the confusion surrounding the industry.

A great example is found in Why blockchain will power the new energy network where the author states the Hyperledger Fabric will provide grid operators, “the ability to act on the information instantaneously and, perhaps in the future, automatically.”

Databases — whether they are distributed or centralized — do not permit instantaneous responses or automated responses without associated control software. The author makes a great point about what the grid of the future may look like but inappropriately ties it to blockchain.

The same can be said regarding many other claims about smart contracts, which is just computer code that executes agreed upon if/then statements that already exist in centralized databases like many of the existing REC tracking systems.

Predictably, the response to this article will be, “But this project will change that,” or “New technology will limit or eliminate that undesired outcome.” And that is possibly true. I am rooting for these companies to prove me wrong.

The technology revolution has been slow to come to the energy world and I am in no way saying innovations or even discussions on how to innovate should be silenced. However, if we are going to change a complicated industry, we need to clearly define and acknowledge our problem before we jump on a specific technology solution.

In the end, I do believe blockchain can help the energy industry. One specific use case that blockchain can improve upon is to build a blockchain REC exchange that can connect to existing REC registries that will allow users to execute trades electronically — eliminating the need for letters of credit and back office settlement work. Blockchain could also prove useful in grid management.

As the technology develops, I believe it will become more clear, however, we are still many years away from truly understanding how this technology will impact the industry.

I remain skeptical at this time of the way in which proponents discuss the technology and the solutions proposed. Self-policing is a start; however, I remain concerned when I continue to see unsupported bold misrepresentations regarding what the technology can do now and that blockchain is cheaper, safer and fraud proof continually repeated in the media, at industry gatherings and by institutions.

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beardedwinnerobject-blog · 6 years

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