#also this is partly very old (like from a few years back) so dont judge past-zoes writing too much pls

[cinnonym]

The Dark One’s Choice

As announced, I finally polished (and finished) my Dark One smut fic, sooo if you’re one of @swanqueensalad‘s horny followers (aren’t we all) or otherwise inclined to read the closest thing to smut I’ve ever written, here goes:

~5k

rating: m

mildly dubious consent, sub/dom hints, choking, restraints, power play, angst, canon-compliant

don’t like don’t read ^^

The great grandfather clock in the hallway shows half past 1 at night when Regina passes it, finally on her way to bed after a long day. Her thoughts have kept her alert until now, the risk of Emma, now as the Dark One, turning up at her doorstep to demand to have Henry too high to let her relax properly. And then there is the gaping hole in her memories, a condition she's familiar with but which still annoys her in no small measure. One moment the gates of Camelot swing open for her, the dagger pressing to her side in the warm promise of Emma's trust, then the next second she's flat on the floor of Granny's Diner, faced with Emma in full Dark One apparel, mercilessly glaring down at her. Accusing and dangerous and assuring to punish them all, though her cold eyes were on Regina only, sending a shiver down her spine that consisted of trepidation and arousal in equal measures.

Regina shudders just remembering the low purr of the Dark One's voice, the radiated dominance so different from the kind of nervous excitement that usually accompanies Emma's talks with Regina. Different, yes, but not necessarily worse, Regina thinks, the naughty admission painting an unexpected smirk on her lips, and she permits a silent chuckle before calling herself back to order. She mustn't enjoy nor underestimate the saviour's dark side. Quite the contrary, to save Emma from herself, and the rest of town from Emma, it is crucial that Regina stays alert and focuses on figuring out a way to get rid of darkness once and for all. So, no unnecessary risks. Constant vigilance.

Right on cue, the doorbell rings and startles Regina back into reality. She throws a glance at the clock. 1:40, not exactly a reasonable time for visitors, even in this tense situation. Besides, Snow, or David, and even the pirate, would have rather called to talk than walked through nightly Storybrooke with a new Dark One on the loose. No, Regina decides, it has to be Emma herself who's on her porch, now pressing the bell again.

Regina swears under her breath; if she doesn't put an end to this, Emma will wake up Henry. On the other hand, opening the door would violate the very set of rules she has just established. There's just no easy way out of this.

Emma ends up making the decision for her when suddenly greyish smoke forms right in front of Regina, vanishing to reveal the familiar frame of the saviour. Her lips set in a thin straight line, the green eyes as expressionless as earlier, she stands and looks at Regina. Just takes her in. Regina feels her skin starting to tingle when a flash of hunger crosses Emma's features, and she's suddenly all too aware of the red velvet dress she's still wearing, clinging to her curves.

"What are you doing here?" She asks when Emma still hasn't moved to talk after several seconds. Her voice is calm, only the slightest hitch in her throat betraying her racing heart. Emma is close, far too close, the aura of power that surrounds her enclosing Regina as well. She's always had a weakness for great wizardry she supposes, the mixture of envy and admiration an exhilarating drug running through her veins, and she welcomes it like an old friend.

"After weeks of sleeping wall to wall with my parents," Emma finally answers, her tone as cool and indifferent as if she were talking about the weather, "I now have the opportunity to take what I want." And she steps even closer, now bare inches separating their bodies.

A sudden fright befalls Regina, her heart fluttering weakly in her chest, colibri-like. She almost doesn't dare to ask for clarification. What if Emma has changed her mind somewhere along the way, realizing that sacrificing herself for Regina has been a mistake after all? What if she's here to make Regina pay for that mistake? What if this is revenge?

"Which is what?" Regina still whispers, hoping against all odds for a, what, fourth chance by now? But no such luck this time; Emma's eyes harden and she raises her chin. Her voice is but a whisper, her lips carefully forming the word:

"You."

Regina closes her eyes for just a second, absorbing the impact without allowing Emma to witness the emotions flickering through her mind. A second is all Emma should need to finish matters once and for all, but it passes without either of them moving and when Regina glances up at Emma again she's surprised to find a tiny glint of amusement in the depths of her eyes. And then that glint changes, grows darker, twisted, and funnily enough, heated, burning with an intensity that makes Regina automatically lower her gaze.

A throaty chuckle vibrates through Emma's body. She waves her hand, and the next thing Regina feels is the cool tapestry of the wall against her back and Emma's grip tight around her wrists, pinning her down. A hot breath tickles her earlobe when the blonde leans forward in the same movement, teeth grazing Regina's skin.

"Control is mine now. Is that understood?" Emma whispers huskily, fleetingly biting down on the sensitive flesh right under Regina's ear.

Regina can barely stifle a moan and she feels her knees grow weak. It would be so easy to give in, the fulfilling of late night dreams and poorly repressed fantasies right in front of her - but she can't. This, what's happening, is the Dark One's choice, not Emma's. And while the darkness might be prevailing in Emma's mind right now, it doesn't mean Emma isn't still in there somewhere, fighting and protesting. And when she returns and the darkness is extinguished - an act Regina will accomplish and if it so takes years - Emma will have to face regrets enough. A nightly adventure with the Queen doesn't have to be among them.

So Regina summons her strengths, and resists. Pulling away from Emma's touch as much as possible in the confined space at her disposal, she shakes her head and squares her shoulders.

"I don't think so, no."

The rage wells up in Emma immediately, her hands clenching around Regina's wrists until it hurts but Regina neither flinches nor backs down. She can tell that Emma didn't expect defiance from the way her eyes widen a fracture before darkening to a near black.

"What?"

The whisper is deadly, a promise of pain if Regina were to repeat her words. Well, Regina can handle pain, if something greater is at stake. And so she raises her chin and holds Emma's glance, proudly and with all the indifference she doesn't really feel.

"I said no, I won't defer to you. Magic doesn't make you my leader and I refuse to - "

"I am the Dark One," Emma roars and Regina once again thinks of Henry asleep upstairs. She prays he won't wake up and choose to see what's causing the commotion, or she will lose some serious ground to Emma. Maybe playing up hasn't been the best plan after all, but she can't revise her strategy now.

"I see that," Regina consequently bites right back, hoping that if she only appears strong enough, Emma will step back eventually. "But it doesn't change the fact that I won't yield to you."

It's only when the expression in Emma's changes again, turning almost playful, that Regina realizes the mistake she's made by counting on Emma's rationality. Magic is based on emotions, and since the Dark One's powers are still relatively new to Emma, she is bound to act unpredictably. Well, this brings a whole new danger to this nightly encounter. Regina's suddenly glad that her provocation didn't fuel Emma's anger. In fact, Emma is eyeing her almost fondly, leisurely letting her eyes take in every tiny aspect of Regina's complexion. The scrutiny inadvertently brings the colour to Regina's cheeks and a smirk on Emma's face.

"You don't really mean that."

And then, without another word of warning, Emma surges forward again and captures Regina's lips with hers before the mayor can dodge her. A yelp of surprise escapes Regina. She tries to jerk back, except she can't, Emma has her trapped against the wall, pressing down on her with the full length of her body. A shudder passes through Regina upon that realization, making her skin tingle and setting her nerves aflame. Never would she have thought that Emma's touch could have such an effect on her. And the kiss, the saviour's lips moving on Regina's almost feverishly. They are dry and slightly chapped under the crimson lipstick and Regina finds herself sinking into them, answering Emma's harsh bites with tentative nibbles on her own part.

But no, she must not delight in this. She has to keep a clear head, because while she is kissing Emma's lips and inhaling Emma's perfume, she has to remember that it's not Emma's mind who's in control here. And so, although a long, leather-covered leg is slowly wedging itself between Regina's, making her feel all kinds of things, including a very dominant throbbing at her core, Regina uses a momentary distraction on Emma's part to push against the arms confining her and turn her head away.

"Stop," she says, intending to sound firm, but it comes out as a strangled moan instead. Miraculously, Emma still seems to have heard her, because she pulls back slightly to look at Regina. Her eyes are darker than Regina has ever seen them and for a moment she feels her resolve weaken, but she masterfully ignores the dryness in her throat and pushes against Emma's shoulders again.

"Let me go," she demands when Emma doesn't budge, instead watching her with the faintest annoyance in the tilt of her head. Regina pushes again, a petulant move rather than a well-considered one. She should have known better than to provoke the Dark One further, but her skin is burning, and she just needs Emma to back off before she'll commit a whole different folly. And who would have known it would be just this little extra push that makes Emma snap.

But it is and the angry flashing of familiar green eyes is all the warning Regina gets before a hand wraps around her throat, constricting her airways.

"Why do you keep resisting?" Emma growls, her voice inhuman, feral. "I can see how you want this," she wriggles her leg slightly and Regina gasps when it rubs against her hot centre. It takes all her self control not to thrust her hips forward to grind against the leather, and maybe the desperation shows a little in her eyes, because Emma smirks and applies more pressure on Regina's throat.

"So why don't you take it?" She hisses and curls her index finger, the sharp nail scratching against Regina's skin, "Take it."

Suppressing a whimper, Regina feels her body react, a new gush of wetness slowly trickling down the inside of her thighs. She has to put an end to this soon or so help her.

"This is not you talking," she brings out, varying somewhere between a moan and a gasp, the limited access to oxygen finally making her feel light headed and breathless. "The darkness has lowered your inhibitions."

Emma chuckles and brings up her other hand, drawing a slow trail down Regina's stomach. When she feels muscles tensing beneath her touch, she releases a delighted laugh. It's scary how fast her emotions seem to change.

"Oh but dear," she replies, almost conversationally now, her eyes twinkling with some wicked amusement, "that is exactly why it's me talking. The darkness is simply giving me the courage to do what I've been wanting to do for a very long time."

Regina's teeth clench at the easy, un-Emma-like admission, and of course the Dark One notices.

"You don't believe me?" She snarls, suddenly furious again, "Let me prove it."

And not giving Regina a chance to react, Emma's long slender fingers press against Regina's core, cupping her through the velvety fabric of her dress. A strangled moan escapes Regina but before her body can betray her by rolling against the tantalizing touch, she summons her magic and poofs out of Emma's grasp.

Mastering magic in an emotionally turmoiled state is difficult, but Regina has perfected the technique during her long years as the Evil Queen. She materializes on the exact spot she had in mind, several metres away from where Emma had held her, an armchair in front of her, which she grabs on to in need of support. Taking a deep breath and revelling in the feeling of the air streaming in her lungs freely again, she lifts her eyes, fully expecting to see Emma leaning against the wall still. The room is empty though, without a trace of the Dark One.

Regina furrows her brow. Would Emma just leave like that? And let Regina win? It seems highly unlikely, and yet the deserted scene she's presented with suggests it. Disappointment pulses through Regina, but before she can analyse and revoke the feeling, grey smoke envelopes her. It's only due to her marvellous reflexes that Regina manages to jerk away in order to avoid being trapped again when Emma makes her appearance. An infuriating smirk is playing on her lips, which, as Regina shamefully notices while consciously pursing her own mouth, are now devoid of crimson lipstick.

"Missed me?" Emma mouths, a knowing glint in her eyes that only intensifies when Regina attempts to scoff. "Don't forget that I know when you're lying."

This comment throws Regina off balance though she refuses to let it show. It reminds her of Emma, the real Emma, untainted with darkness yet not free of pain. Emma, who through the course of her life has learned to read people to protect herself from getting hurt. Emma, whose superpower may not be perfect, despite all efforts, but with Regina it always is. Emma, who knows her.

For a moment, Regina misses her so much, the loss feels like a sharp knife twisting in her gut. And a moment is all the Dark One needs to bridge the short distance between them and cradle Regina's face in her hands. The touch is almost gentle, Emma's thumbs tracing the line of Regina's cheekbones, and when Regina looks up, she's surprised to notice the tender expression in those green eyes.

"I am still Emma you know," Emma whispers, tugging at a strand of Regina's hair, then placing it delicately behind her ear. "Still me." And then, leaning in with a wicked grin spreading on her lips she adds: "Just look at my powers like an extra gift. Something to give matters some kick..."

Regina swallows, tantalizing images penetrating her mind, colliding and overlapping with those of Emma, the real Emma, with her jutting jaw and hideous leather jackets. She shakes her head to get rid of them, refusing to let the Dark One play with her emotions any longer. It's time the Queen regains some command. For Emma's sake.

"Embracing the darkness doesn't seem very Emma-like," she counters tentatively, testing the waters by also taking a step back. Dark eyes follow her, thin lips drop into a frown, but for now Emma lets her have the distance. She just shrugs.

"Didn't want to waste the potential."

Regina takes another small step back, sees Emma's eyes dart down to her legs, freezes - but still nothing happens. Good. The gap between their bodies allows Regina to gather her wits and think of how she'll handle the situation. Hitherto, it has been Emma who set the pace, hardly giving Regina time to react. This will have to change if the mayor wants to stand any chance against the Dark One. She needs a plan to distract Emma from trying to seduce her, distract her from Henry sleeping upstairs, distract her from using her magic against Regina. And what distraction could be better than a midnight snack?

"Are you hungry? Or did the darkness extinguish this trait too?" She asks as casually as she can muster.

Emma cocks her head, an amused smile flashing over her complexion. Her eyes darken.

"On the contrary. I'm almost insatiable these days."

Regina is sure her cheeks burn brightly pink but she ignores the feeling and clears her throat.

"I meant food."

"Oh, I know what you meant," Emma smirks, disappearing and reemerging a foot closer to Regina in the blink of an eye. The mist has not yet cleared away when she repeats the trick, now standing behind Regina. Their noses are almost touching. "I also know that I'm tired of this chitchat. Why don't you put that mouth to better use elsewhere?"

A groan escapes Regina when Emma's lips once again press against hers. Still she focuses and flicks her hand to escape the Dark One's grip, reappearing on the other side of the armchair. Emma follows her before she can even breathe, pins her down to the chair, effectively demobilising Regina's wrists with her knees.

"Two can play this game," she murmurs against Regina's ear, then sits up. "Your move."

Regina's whole body seems to buzz with nerves, her skin is aflame where Emma's touching her, still she forces herself to think. Emma's magic works faster than hers, but she's inexperienced. She might be more powerful but she lacks self-discipline. If Regina managed to lure her into poofing repeatedly, unnecessarily, maybe she could tire the Dark One while saving her own strength, until eventually she would have the upper hand again.

The heat pulsing through her body is put to good use as Regina channels the energy to her palms, letting them warm up to the point where, if she were to flick her hand, she could conjure a fireball. Then she twists them, reaching for Emma's thighs.

The Dark One jerks back for only a split second, but that is sufficient for Regina who's been awaiting it. She draws her hands free and sends a magic blow at Emma. Just like she predicted, the blonde is sent flying but disappears mid air and grey mist once again embraces Regina. However, she is prepared; jumping up from the chair she creates a shield around where Emma is materializing. A hiss escapes the Dark One, then she throws her head back and laughs, short and hard. Regina's eyes dart to the staircase, to Henry, but fortunately Emma doesn't seem to notice.

"You see, there are advantages to being the Dark One," her voice comes out of nowhere as she breaks free from her cage by poofing a ridiculous amount of seven times until she's facing Regina again. "I love this form of transport."

Regina only smiles tightly, hands already up again. This is her game now. She risks wasting some of her magical energy to create a soundproof spell in the living room, then makes a swooping gesture that hurls the armchair Emma's way. Instead of stopping it, like any sensible user of magic would have, the blonde turns into swirling smoke again, and then again when Regina lets the footrest follow, and even to avoid the decorative tablecloth. It's quite ridiculous really, she's bound to get tired in the matter of minutes, and Regina allows herself a tiny self-satisfied smile. Not many can claim to have tricked the Dark One.

Except her victory only lasts seconds, when suddenly Emma's slender fingers encircle Regina's wrists once more and she's slammed against the wall.

"Oh Regina," Emma purrs in a low voice that seems to buzz through Regina's entire body. "Do you honestly think I don't know what you're trying to do?" Her free hand delivers a soft, almost gentle blow to Regina's cheek. Regina quivers, not from the sting but from the unexpected flash of pleasure that burns through her veins. Who would have thought that Emma harbours sides like this.

Not Emma but the Dark One, Regina tells herself as she stares up at her opponent, who in her turn is eyeing her appreciatively.

"What am I trying to do then?" She utters defiantly, wriggling her hands until Emma is forced to let her go. Without granting herself a second of triumph, Regina snaps her fingers and shiny black metal starts growing around Emma's wrist, holding it effectively in place above her head.

"You think you can exhaust me," Emma smirks, not at all bothered by the constraint, "You think you can lure me into wasting my power until it's drained." Another click of fingers and a chain sprouts from the first cuff, enclosing Emma's other hand and pulling it up too. Still the Dark One doesn't move, doesn't fight it. Regina is beginning to feel a bit uncertain about her plan to bind Emma's wrists. It should render her helpless, incapable of using her magic, so why doesn't she look the least bit concerned? Why is she smiling still?

"This is kinky," Emma mentions, almost conversationally. Regina cocks her head.

"Usually I'm the dominant one," she says, in spite of her instincts' warning not to trust her victory yet. A grave mistake.

"I am the Dark One!" Emma suddenly roars, and never in her life has Regina been so glad about the existence of soundproof spells. At least Henry's safe, she thinks, as she's hurled backwards into the couch. Emma, inexplicably, has freed herself from the handcuffs. Her face is contorted with rage as she attacks Regina with blasts and blasts of magic.

"How can you think my power would be finite?" She screams and wrecks the couch on top of Regina who barely has time to roll away.

"How can you think you could shackle me? Dominate me?" She screeches and the iron chains turn into snakes at her feet and lunge at Regina.

"Why won't you let me take you?" She cries and yes, she's crying now, and as they fall, her tears become ice spears that are aiming at Regina.

"After everything I've done for you!" And at this Emma breaks down, collapses into a small heap on the floor that's shaken by sobs. With her deflate the snakes, until they're just iron again, curled around Regina's legs. It is very silent all of a sudden, and Regina stands in the middle of her demolished living room, watching her friend cry.

"Emma," she says cautiously after a while, because the woman before her is Emma now, Emma in all her broken glory, Emma the abused saviour, Emma, still breathing under her cloak of darkness.

Emma, who is now lifting her head, face stained with too much mascara. It looks like the darkness is bleeding out of her with every black tear that's rolling down her cheeks, but Regina knows this is not the case, unfortunately. Darkness doesn't yield to grief, quite contrary. It consumes it, forges it into yet another weapon, feeds on it until it's strong enough to take over control. Which means, Regina has to play on this break now, has to use it to talk to Emma before the woman she likes, loves as she realizes now, becomes captive to the Dark One again.

"Emma," she says again, stepping out of the chains and hurrying to the shaking heap. She hesitates briefly, before reaching out to gingerly wrap her arms around Emma. A sigh shudders through them both as Emma accepts the embrace and leans into Regina.

"I just wanted..." Emma begins but Regina shushes her before she can finish her sentence.

"You don't have to explain yourself," she murmurs into Emma's hair and god, why didn't they hug before? Why did it have to come to a catastrophe for her to realize how much she'd yearned for this?

"But I want to explain," Emma protests, muffled against Regina's shoulder, still weak but already defiant again. Regina smiles and releases her reluctantly. Emma's hair is still the Dark One's, her face still greyish white, but her eyes look at Regina the same way they've always had. Or, not exactly the same, because when they were reserved and secretive before, they now shine with a brutal honesty that makes Regina squirm under their gaze. Emma Swan has let her walls down.

"I meant what I said earlier," Emma says at the same time as Regina blurts out: "Don't tell me things you'll regret later."

Emma frowns. "Stop interrupting me, Regina." Her voice rings with a newfound authority that has Regina look at her in alarm, certain that the darkness has regained control. But Emma's eyes remain soft and full of emotion, and her lips form a smile instead of a sneer. Regina relaxes a bit.

"As I was saying," Emma then continues as if nothing happened, "I meant what I said, about me still being me and the darkness simply giving me courage." She takes a deep breath. "I've meant every word I said and I've meant every move I made. I see the way you look at me, Regina, I know that you want me. Yet you're acting as if you hate me. Why?" Her eyes search Regina's and first now does Regina notice how tired Emma looks. How worn, how sad, how, yes, broken. And Regina realizes, she can't lie to her.

"Because," she therefore begins, her voice feeling scratchy in her throat as she fights her own terror about admitting her thoughts. "Because I like you, Emma, very much. And I can't let the Dark One ruin your life even more by sleeping with me without your consent. I can't let the darkness abuse you. I'm not gonna lie, I was tempted. It's your body I desire, but it's your mind I love and I can't do this to you." Regina's voice breaks and she realizes she's crying too now. "I can't do this to you," she repeats weakly and prays, for the sake of both of them, that the Dark One won't choose this moment to return.

"But Regina, don't you see?" Emma whispers, her hands reaching for Regina's. "I am the Dark One." She says it differently now, softer, soothing. "I am consenting. This is me acting, all me, body and mind and heart if you so will, and everything is striving after you."

And Regina is shaking her head, not believing, never believing, although she absorbs every single word Emma is saying.

"Regina, listen!" Emma says, sharper now. Regina is listening, but she wishes she wasn't, wishes she didn't have to hear the words that are too good to be true.

"Didn't I become the Dark One for you?" Emma inquires, "Didn't I give you the dagger as a token of my trust?"

"And yet you erased our memories from Camelot," Regina counters, her mind clinging to this one sane thought in a desperate attempt to withstand the madness Emma's offering.

"To protect you!" Emma says, louder, as if she feels that she's losing Regina. "Camelot was a disaster. A broken kingdom with a corrupt king. Arthur, he didn't help us to find Merlin - he sabotaged all our plans. Everything, this whole mission to Camelot failed, and in the end, bringing us back to Storybrooke was the only thing I could do to save us... Taking your memories was a necessity in the process, but believe me, I'll only keep them until I've sorted out the dangers that are still present."

"What dangers?" Regina whispers when Emma doesn't continue. Her thoughts are racing to keep up with Emma's tale. In a horrible way it all makes sense, matches up with what few memories Regina has of Camelot and its leader. The shrewd look Arthur gave them when they first arrived to the kingdom, the scheming in his glance, the triumphant smile. "What dangers?" She repeats, urgently now, afraid.

"I can't tell you," Emma says, not meeting Regina's eyes. She sounds apologetic but also stubborn, a faint trace of the original Emma in her voice and Regina's heart would warm if it weren't so frustrating.

"Emma," she sighs and the woman before her crumples.

"I'm sorry." Barely a whisper.

"Why did you come here?" Regina asks, equally low. Her heart is still pounding and her skin crawls where Emma has touched her and while she's glad they're talking now, a tiny part of her wishes they could go back to kissing. A tiny part that Regina deliberately chooses to ignore.

"I needed to see someone," Emma murmurs, still evading Regina's gaze. "To know what I'm fighting for."

"But why me?"

A frown settles on Emma's brow, her lips forming a pout and for a second she looks so much like Emma that Regina almost jerks away, the proximity suddenly overwhelming her. She doesn't have the right to be here, cradling Emma's face, not while all they are is friends and both of them have a boyfriend waiting. And yet Emma doesn't move away, doesn't tell her no. Only looks at her in this intoxicating defiance.

"Because I made a mistake. And I will fix it but I needed to be sure first."

"Sure of what?" Regina breathes, although she already has an inkling what Emma is going to say. And indeed:

"Your feelings," Emma affirms her suspicions, and for the first time tonight the blonde looks nervous. "You do have feelings for me, right?"

Regina closes her eyes. Her head is swimming, the late hour and extensive display of magic at last taking its toll.

"Emma..."

"Please." The word is carefully enunciated, every letter pronounced with a purpose that lets Regina know just how much it costs Emma to say it. "I promise I will sort this out, I promise I can. I just need to have something that I can come back to. I need you to be there when I do. I... need you."

"And I need you," Regina whispers, because what else is there to say? What point is there in resistance when all the walls have been torn down anyway, when her heart lies bare and hurting amidst the ruins? When Emma has already seen it in its truest state, what use is there in lying? "I need you, Emma," she therefore repeats, her hands still cupping Emma's cheeks, her eyes mapping every inch of Emma's face. "I need you to come back. If I let you go now - promise you will come back."

"As long as you'll have me," Emma says, "I will always come back."

And she snaps before Regina can say anything else, dissolving into grey smoke between Regina's fingers.

#swanqueen #swanqueen fanfiction #sq fanfic #my writing #dark swan #uhhhhhhhhhhh so yeah this got out of hand at some parts whoops #come get yall some dark swan smut hehe #okay its not real smut #but close enough #also this is partly very old (like from a few years back) so dont judge past-zoes writing too much pls #thank u #anyhoo time to wrap up the tag rant #zoe out #sq

[honestlyandrogynousnightmare]

magic reveal

So ive been thinking about the magic reveal we did get and also the different magic reveals we COULD have gotten so i thought id project all my thoughts into another massive tumblr rant:

personally, i dont think the magic reveal was bad at all. yes, i wouldve done it slightly differently, i think it was done way too late in the show and left little time to explore how that reveal affected merlin and arthurs relationship, and obviously we never actually ended up seeing if magic was legalised and all. but i dont hate the magic reveal we got. the key part i really love is that it was done on Merlins own terms, he could have just lied, but instead he finally told Arthur the truth and i think that there were many reasons for that decision being made. 

firstly, Merlin definitely felt guilty and blamed himself for Arthur being stabbed, he must have at least partly blamed himself because everything he did directly led to Mordred turning into a little shit. Part of him might have just felt as if he owes Arthur that explanation yknow. secondly, i feel like by that point he was tired of lying in general, he needed to get that secret off his chest. those two things combined with the fact that Arthur was dying may have pushed him to telling the truth,  because deep down he did know that it was probably the last chance to tell Arthur the truth. 

i liked how they presented Arthurs reaction too, the clear message there was that Athur was angry at the lying, thats the part he saw as betrayal, not the magic itself. he didnt want to believe that Merlin was a liar, when he always saw him as the one person that was entirely honest with him. hell, he still trusted him enough to send him back to Camelot and Gwen so he knew Merlin wasnt evil. If the writers actually did a good job at developing Arthurs character, i feel like itd be more obvious that Arthurs stance on magic was different from his fathers, but yknow bbc and their shoddy writing. I love that moment of acceptance as well, when he tells Merlin that he doesnt want him to change. He doesnt even now about all the things Merlin sacrificed and lost in order to protect Arthur and Camelot but he still accepts him. I think that when he first fund out it was all like “holy crap i dont even know him” but after spending a few hours with Merlin he realises that its still the exact same person he knew the week before. 

anddddd as much as i like the way they did that magic reveal, the ending of the show left me with no closure and a lot of tears. my ideal magic reveal wouldve happened earlier, either at the start of season 5 or near the end of season 4. It would give us a chance to see them talk it out, and god we know that there would be arguing, and if arthur wasnt dying he would probbaly be shouting but the key part here is that arthur wouldnt hurt merlin. i think he culd consider sending him away if his father was still king just to protect him but we all know merlin would reply with “no <3″. but since i cant see the reveal happening when uther is king, i will be ignoring that scenario. and again, theres many ways this could play out.

the one way that ive always found interesting was arthur figuring it out on his own, because he may be an idiot, but hes not stupid. *if you like this sort of thing read “so close and im halfway to it  on ao3, its a merthur fic and the magic reveal in that one makes me cry so much and the fic is so well written* I feel like at one point, he would just put the pieces together, and it would all make so much sense to him? Merlins random disappearances and scars would make sense, the luck he had when it came to fights, Merlins weird reactions when someone mentioned magic, how on earth merlin of all people managed to survive every battle and fight arthur was in when some of his best knights didnt. 

then theres the very cliche “merlin using magic mid battle to save everyone” reveal. because its mid battle, i really cant picture them talking it out there lol,  i picture a lot of ignoring but also if other people saw him using magic, we all know the first thing arthur would do is give the knights a good old “if you kill him i will kill you and then myself”, it wouldnt be until later that they would actually talk. 

and then like the canon magic reveal, theres Merlin doing it on his own terms. i personally really like thhis one because it gives him so much more control over the situation and over his words. *another fic rec here if you like this sorta thing, its called “to the world that let you by” and its really beautiful and made me cry at 1am so there you go, and as you guessed it, its another merthur*. i love this reveal because it gives merlin a chance to explain, and arthur a chance to listen and try to understand. 

now there are loads of different sub categories that could go into those, like Arthur finding merlin creating butterflies out of thin air lol, but i wont go into those. whatever reveal would happen, i feel like “the talk” after would usually end up in a similar way. Arthurs reaction would be similar to what we got in the canon reveal, because the actual magic isnt what would hurt most.  it would be the lies. Arthur has been lied to and betrayed by so many people you cant really expect him not to react badly to being lied to. the magic sure would confuse him and put him in a difficult position, because you have to keep in mind that his entire life he has been told that magic is pure evil, and to him, merlin is the polar opposite of that. i think it would just make him question everything, like does he even know this man? has he won any of his battles or has it always been merlin? why is he in camelot? why would a sorcerer be serving him? but he wouldnt hurt him. he wouldnt even consider that imo, sure, he will demand an explanation, but he wouldnt actually thin about hurting him. 

and merlin would understand why hes angry about the lying, that much is obvious. and he would be reluctant to tell arthur about the things that were happening behind his back all those years, but he would be honest. and go that conversation would be hard for both of them, i cant really imagine them having it without a lot of crying, shouting and even more wine tbh. arthur isnt good at listening which is why this would be so hard for him too, but merlin has to be honest, completely honest with arthur for the first time in his life and thatd be difficult. 

and i think merlin would handle arthurs reactions well, even if arthur decided to lose his temper lol. but i can still imagine him being a bit bitter if arthur judged his choices and stuff when it came to poisoning morgana and freeing the dragon, asking what on earth HE would do in that situation. where the only choices he sees are bad ones, and he has to pick the one thats least evil. 

arthur would probably be most pissed off at the thing about his mother tbh, because merlin outright lied there, usually its just deflecting but he made that deliberate choice to lie. but i really do think he would understand all of this, while not every choice merlin did was good, he did it with good intention. 

and then arthur would remove the ban on magic and they would kiss and get married amd live happily ever aft-

thanks bbc.

anyway if you want any more magic reveal fics (or links to the ones i mentioned, ao3 can be bloody annoying sometimes) feel free to comment or message me or anything, i have a couple more in my bookmarks. 

thanks for reading this rant, scuse the bad grammar, id love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this and magic reveals in general so feel free to comment! have a great day<3

#merlin #bbc merlin #merlin magic reveal #magic #magic reveal #arthur pendragon #emrys #once and future king #merthur #merlin x arthur #arthur x merlin #rant #bbc arthur #bbc shows #lancelot #bbc lancelot #gwaine #sir gwaine #bbc gwaine #im tired #gwen #bbc gwen #morgana #morgana deserved better #merlin deserved better #mordred #knights of the round table #sir leon #bradley james #colin morgan

[comicteaparty]

January 3rd, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on January 3rd, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Princess Pups by Lindsay Hornsby.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Princess Pups by Lindsay Hornsby~! (https://tapas.io/series/Princess-Pups)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite strip in the comic so far and why?

one strip i really enjoyed myself was this one https://tapas.io/episode/295876 where the pups are having a debate. partly just cause of how quickly the debate devolved, and partly cause i loved how cute it was that the judging pups got to have cake and cookies and were basically the ultimate winners.

although my all time favorite is definitely the valentines strip https://tapas.io/episode/284778. this one just hurt my heart with the cuteness and i think sends such a positive message about how maybe the jerks around us also just didnt get their own valentines and are lashing out in jealousy. and i love the princess pups for putting kindness before revenge.

in terms of comedy, to lighten things up from that last one, there's also this strip https://tapas.io/episode/812585 that i enjoyed. partly cause i always love Pug Pups shenanigans of just basically wanting to eat anything and everything. but also because i like the irony that nope the eclipse was just a giant cookie thing in the sky. although maybe theyll figure it out when it takes a while to disappear

L Hornsby

Hiya, I draw Princess Pups and I'm glad you like it @RebelVampire !

RebelVampire

thank you for coming, @L Hornsby ~!

related to pug pup https://tapas.io/episode/499353 i super loved pug pups idea of a horror story is that the fridge is empty. XD but another good strip just cause they once again didnt scorn the ghost. just said come on ghost, join our party. which i mean is a sign theyre great party throwers cause basically anyone is a potential guest.

L Hornsby

They especially love having a party with someone else who enjoys candy

(even if they are a ghost)

RebelVampire

which now made me overthink wondering if the ghost cant actually eat it and it just passes through them. XD although i doubt pug pup would complain about that. can just follow the trail and eat all those candies

L Hornsby

The ghost probably enjoys at least being around candies and cookies I hadn't considered if it could eat it though. Makes me think about Slimer from GhostBusters going after a buffet

RebelVampire

lol. mysteries for another day probably. more important they have a good, fun experience

L Hornsby

Yeah!

RebelVampire

https://tapas.io/episode/266696 another strip i thought was hilarious. the princess pups making all these elaborate plans to get their food back. meanwhile the cats basically self sabotage by beating each other up and having a slap fight. which tbf is very accurate to cats since they dont like food competition XD

L Hornsby

The Commando Cats sometimes work together, but usually don't

RebelVampire

wait theyre called the commando cats? XD thats great

L Hornsby

Yeah Since the Pups don't talk, it doesn't get brought up in the comics unless I'm putting a note under the comic

I wanted something sort of opposite of "Princess Pups" but with cats and I also wanted them to wear hats instead of crowns

RebelVampire

i do enjoy their hats

QUESTION 2. Which of the Princess Pups is your favorite insofar? What about this pup makes you like them? Of the strips so far, what has been your favorite story to have this pup in it? What about their role in the strip made it enjoyable for you? In regards to your favorite pup, which pup do you love to see them interact with and why? What pup(s) do you feel your favorite should interact with more? Lastly, are there any minor recurring characters you enjoy seeing? Who are they and what about them do you like?

despite where my answers may have lead one to believe, my favorite pup is actually Scruffy Pup. I love her overall design and how it suits her messy personality in general, to start with. I especially just love her eyes though. Sometimes about them just makes her have the cutest facial expressions to me. As far as strips with her in it, I really liked Goat World https://tapas.io/episode/516356. partly cause i enjoyed just how plain enthusiastic she was about going to goat world. things go awry, and in the end the goats that she loved betrayed her by trying to eat all her stuff. which i mean is sad, but also hilarious just cause goats just be doin goat things.

as for interactions, im not sure i really have a preference. although i would like to see scruffy pup and pug pup interact more in the future. cause pug pup is my 2nd favorite and i feel the messiest pup + the eatiest pup could result in the best of pup shenanigans

L Hornsby

I drew Goat World due to a visit to a petting zoo where the goats kept trying to take my map, my backpack, and a piece of thread from my shirt

Scruffy Pup and Pug Pup definitely are the messiest and hungriest of the pups for sure though!

RebelVampire

lol omg. that sounds like quite the experience and reminds me why i dont really go to petting zoos

since pug pup is my second favorite, i will also answer these questions for pug pup. i really enjoy pug pup because she basically the most chill. like that whole pizza party story arch. pug pup didnt care what was on the pizza. she just wanted to eat it. and i think that makes her adorable. her immense single minded focus. i dont really have a fave strip in this case cause i generally like all of pug pup's roles in any strips. i think in general she alone provides a ton of the comedy moments for the comic. XD

in terms of minor characters, i love the commando cats. partly out of my biased love for cats, but i also just love both their cute hats and the fact that theyre super cat like in how they react. like theyre the antagonists more by cat nature rather than this over the top manner you usually see in things.

L Hornsby

They're a mix of a few cats I've had growing up / currently. Cats can be really grumpy and fight each other, but can also be cuddle friends, but then go back to smacking each other XD

RebelVampire

yes that is definitely accurate to cats

mathtans

Hello dere. Only had a chance to read the origin so far this week, but wanted to say I'm impressed at how much gets conveyed without dialogue balloons.

L Hornsby

Pug Pup might be one of my most favorite to draw, but also least favorite because sometimes I forget to color her mouth markings, and I feel silly when that happens

mathtans

Also, I love the term "cloud meeples".

L Hornsby

Thanks @mathtans ! The comic I'd been doing previous to Princess Pups involved a very chatty six year old, so I wanted to try to keep this one very pantomime

RebelVampire

speaking of hte origin story, i love teacup pup had to have official princess pup papers that fluff pup scrutinized thoroughly XD

mathtans

Scanning the backlog here. Yep, that seems accurate to cats, though I admit I'm a cat person.

Teacup pup is precious. Vacuum sucks.

I'm reading through more now. I wonder if they make the charts themselves, or use the wands to do it.

RebelVampire

i actually wondered if the vacuum was accurate to dogs. like i know cats consider them their mortal enemies. but ive never owned a dog to know if they too fear the monster vacuum(edited)

L Hornsby

Sometimes they make things by hand (paw), sometimes TeaCup Pup will use Magics

Oh man, my dog can't stand the vacuum. My dog growing up couldn't stand it either.

King Vacuum is based on this awful vacuum my mom had when I was a kid that weighed probably 50 pounds and was super annoying to use. It was called a Kirby Vacuum (not as cool as Kirby from Kirby's Dream Land)

mathtans

Maybe in the sequel they fight a roomba.

L Hornsby

https://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NDAwWDMwMA==/z/u4IAAOSwxH1UB0PB/$_35.JPG?set_id=2 this is totally that vacuum

mathtans

Reminds me of the vacuum from "littlest toaster" for some reason.

RebelVampire

we still have a kirby vacuum in my house. XD it is very annoying to use and i support it being the ultimate vacuum enemy

mathtans

"Magic" is too funny.

RebelVampire

as in the strip, math?

cause if you mean the strip, i do wonder how long it was before corgi pup noticed the tail XD

mathtans

The strip I got to, yes. Very "bunny".

OMG, all the feels for that Valentine one, you're right Rebel.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. The strips offer a lot of variety in terms of set-up. Which of the strips did you feel was most relatable as far as the behavior of dogs go? What about that strip makes it this way to you? Of all the strips, which strip played out in a way that you didn’t expect and potentially made you laugh or aww at it? Why did it catch you off guard, and what made the twist likeable? Many of the strips also have positive messages within them. Which strip left the most impact on you in terms of endearment or positive messages behind it? What about the strip left this impact?

next time the pups face a vacuum they can join forces with the commando cats. and together they can win against the roomba army.

mathtans

I don't know much about dog behaviour. I had a newspaper route for 7 years and got bitten once, so mostly I avoid them.

L Hornsby

That's too bad

mathtans

It would be interesting to see the dogs and cats against a common enemy.

L Hornsby

That's true.

mathtans

I didn't expect the 'piff' into the cloud at the bottom of the slide, that was amusing.

RebelVampire

https://tapas.io/episode/334958 that was probably the strip i found probably reflected dog behavior the most. also qualifies as one where i didnt expect the twist. i legit thought they were gonna make a nice garden.

and then they didnt

although poor scruffy pup

missed out on dirt rolling

mathtans

Dog gonnit.

RebelVampire

oh no the puns have begun XD

L Hornsby

If the Princess Pups did more than just bark and make dog noises, there would be A Lot More Puns

RebelVampire

they can just write a dog pun book

send the commando cats a free copy

mathtans

The "silent movie" aspect is pretty cool though.

RebelVampire

yeah i think it works well cause theyre all very expressive and the scenarios have that right blend of simplicity where the stories are always understandable and relateable

mathtans

Actually, if it counts, some of the author comments at the end give me unexpected laughs too. (How DO they get a pool in the clouds?)

Yeah, expressions are great. Some of the posing in particular is fun to read.

RebelVampire

ya know im not gonna question a pool in the clouds cause tbh the beginning made me wonder if they were in doggie heaven since cloud imagery usually equals heaven XD

so i will always be thankful its not

and they just live in the clouds

L Hornsby

LOL oh no, I hadn't thought of that

mathtans

Pug Pup seems so amusingly clueless. Might be my fave, which is weird, because I'm not a fan of the wrinkly look in real life.

I was wondering if they were angels or something initially too. Like would they be visiting earth and seeing humans or something.

L Hornsby

Nah, they just live in the clouds and occasionally slide down rainbows to visit the ground

mathtans

Now alien meeples. Meeples is the best word.

L Hornsby

It really is!

RebelVampire

im glad im not the only one who thought the dead angel thing. XD cause that would be a morbid start.

mathtans

Constantly amazed at how much gets conveyed without dialogue in these strips. So good.

Like the no cookie stuff in the space sequence.

Or the ghost encounter and telling stories.

RebelVampire

this is another strip i think had a twist in that i overguessed. https://tapas.io/episode/616509 cause when the dinosaur leg went missing i was like "nah it couldnt be this is gonna be some doggie profiling." but then nope, it was my favorite pup being super obvious about it. which also surprised me cause totally thought pug pup would be the bone thief if it was anyone.

mathtans

Or for that matter, Santa and the goat.

Heh, nice parody of the venus oyster shell painting in that one.

RebelVampire

i questioned corgi pup's choice of gift. i wasnt sure if scruffy pup would still even like goats after the goat world incident XD

and then the goat tried to eat scruffy pup, the nightmares relived O_O

mathtans

I like the one just before that, with the fly needing it's own book. Would not have called that.

Goats are tricky. Like elves.

L Hornsby

Corgi Pup assumed that Scruffy Pup's love of goats hadn't wavered after such and experience at Goat World. But Corgi Pup probably should have examined closer to see that it was a Baby Krampus she was buying instead

RebelVampire

i did like the fly needing its own book. also made me aww just cause i love when the pups are being precious like that and putting kindness first. truly model princesses

mathtans

I hate getting a krampus in my legus.

RebelVampire

at least santa saved the day

mathtans

Yis, very precious attitudes.

RebelVampire

another strip i loved that had a twist was https://tapas.io/episode/833602

like i assumed pug pup would defy the odds and catch something

did not expect it to be scruffy pup XD

and those looks of surprise are priceless XD

mathtans

I'm learning about pineapples.

RebelVampire

haha

i thought it was super lucky teacup pup was the one to get the pineapple

so she could cheat and use the wand

cause idk how the other pups wouldve managed XD

QUESTION 4. The Princess Pups have met with two other pup groups: the CowPoke Pups and the Space Pups. Which of these other groups interested you the most and why? Whether your favorite group, which about each story line did you like? What other groups do you think the Princess Pups might meet? In terms of future stories, do you think we will see the CowPoke Pups or Space Pups again? If so, in what manner might we see them? In general, what shenanigans do you think the Princess Pups will get up to in the future?

i liked both groups, but i think im gonna side with the space pups just cause they had fun things like the ability to turn off gravity. and no gravity makes for some fun parties where you can do lots and lots of things.

mathtans

Huh, I don't think I even clued in that she was the only one with a wand.

RebelVampire

yes it was her prize for defeating king vacuum and being the brave one

mathtans

Space Pups also had alien meeples.

Rebel - I thought it was just her official graduation gift or something, like the others had them in reserve without occasion to use them.

L Hornsby

Oh man, I looked up so many images of Pineapples and how they grow for that Pizza Party story

mathtans

I was wondering how much research was necessary. Ever decide, 'heck with it, they're getting broccoli'?

L Hornsby

TeaCup Pup was passed the mantle of holding The Wand by Fluf Pup after the origin story @mathtans

How DOES broccoli grow?

mathtans

I thought it was just heads in the ground like cauliflower but now I'm not sure. O.o

L Hornsby

It grows up and is quite green lol

still has leafy things around it like the Pineapples

mathtans

Still reading during the chat. I like how the unconventional topping of a cupcake helped save the day.

L Hornsby

I did like drawing the Alien Meeples a lot

RebelVampire

broccoli is a weird looking plant ill say. although would probably have been easier than pineapple. but then again idk how many pups would want broccoli on the pizza. not that i think pug pup would complain. i just assume pug pup will eat anything edible. maybe some not edible things

i really liked in the cowpoke pups storyline where they had to catch up to a moving train and jump on. it felt very epically western and made me admire how cool and brave the pups are.

mathtans

Yeah, pug doesn't seem too fussy.

Also, the Space Pups returned to create an eclipse, that was an unexpected guest starring role.

L Hornsby

The Solar Eclipse in 2017 was sooooooo cool! And it totally looked like a giant sandwich cookie to me

RebelVampire

its kind of a shame the space pups didnt invite the princess pups again to eat the sandwich cookie

i kind of hope we see the space pups again as the call the princess pups needing help on a space mission

ultimate space adventure

L Hornsby

They'll probably show up again

mathtans

I kinda remember that eclipse, aye.

Hm, are there also pups that live in the sea? Mer-Pups?

L Hornsby

The Space Pups are based on my dog Hannah and her brother Walter. We adopted Hannah and someone else adopted Walter a few days later

There might be Mer-Pups?

RebelVampire

omg

i totally support mer pups

that would adorable

and cool undersea parties can be had

with colorful coral

L Hornsby

The Pups might end up going back in time first. I'm a sucker for drawing dinosaurs

mathtans

Oooh, time travel is always fun. Hopefully they don't go for the bones of the live dinosaurs.

I've reached the Go West part.

RebelVampire

that also sounds awesome. can just picture them running from the trex. then making friends. all sitting around having cookies together

L Hornsby

Prehistoric cookies

or maybe just dinosaur shaped ones

RebelVampire

thatd also be cute. endear the dinosaurs to them by making cookie self portraits.

i wonder if there are secret agent pups

who go around everywhere wearing sunglasses

L Hornsby

maybe?

mathtans

(Sorry, little one was fussing, had to run off for a moment.)

Just wanted to say before the end, the goat eyes are interestingly unique, makes it easy to tell them apart from the rest of the animals.

RebelVampire

https://tapas.io/episode/1197013 i really love this vulture train dude with the hat btw. i actually hope we see the vultures again cause they had such great expressive and evil faces

mathtans

Those vultures are pretty petty.

L Hornsby

Vultures are both cute and terrifying in real life

And the same with goats. I wanted to use Actual Goat Eyes because they're SO WEIRD

mathtans

Oh hey, caught up just in time. I like the one balloon falling down.

Goats + Pineapples = wha?

RebelVampire

as we draw to a close, i just want to say the comic was really nice and a great way to start off the year i think. there were just so many heartwarming moments and i loved the immense kindness the pups always showed despite adversity

L Hornsby

A Goat Pineapple?!?

mathtans

Pineapple with slanty eyes.

Agreed, Rebel.

L Hornsby

Aw, thanks guys! I don't have a huge following so it was good to hear from some readers!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Lindsay Hornsby, as well, for making Princess Pups. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Lindsay Hornsby’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/Princess-Pups

Lindsay Hornsby’s Gumroad Shop: https://gumroad.com/fizzlebit

Lindsay Hornsby’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Fizzlebit

Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Chasing Little Lights by Evelyn Shi. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, January 10th, from 5PM to 7PM PST for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: http://www.cllcomic.com/

Comic’s Tapas Mirror: https://tapas.io/series/cll

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic bookclub #webcomic book club #comic tea party #ctp #princess pups #lindsay hornsby

[jess-oh]

Reflection

hey journal! 

i had a pretty good day today but it was all ruined so quickly.

i started the day by waking up late and so, i didnt meet linda in time at the fullerton red line stop at 8am this morning and i felt super bad but i chose to just take a lyft instead. i debated on training it up to jenny but by that time. i’d get to church by 10am and i wasnt sure if i would even make it in time so i just decided to take a lyft instead. i made a commitment to come early and although i would be very late, it was better to come a little early than not at all! and i had a good time talking with my lyft driver about church and my busy schedule anyway! and i think i’m getting the hang of finding the balance of listening intently and actually caring for others and sharing my own experiences. as of right now, ive been trying to not share about myself unless prompted to and i think it’s been working so far! im just afraid i’ll end up having a lot of pent up emotions that i never felt comfortable sharing and end up feeling miserable again. but hopefully it doesnt come to that and people just know to ask! but i saw josh, johnathan’s roommate, there again and that was really nice! i got to see amanda and johnathan and josh and p josh and i was glad. and i got to see some familiar faces! like david, austin, rachel, johnny, christine, daniel bang and more! and although, again, i am sad chelsea and angela were missing, im also relieved that they werent there bc i wasnt so afraid of being judged constantly. honestly, jason too. he was also missing and i felt kind of relieved bc although i know he means well when he teases me, it’s slowly spiraling into verbal abuse and i actually do get kind of hurt sometimes. i tend to shrug it off but like when he calls me a “dummy” when i learn about new information, i feel kind of bad. if i knew but forgot, then thats one thing and i know i deserve that. but i literally just found out. why does that warrant or mean im not smart in any way? i’ll probably confront him about it in the near future and as of right now, i do value him as a friend and we have had real, deep conversations with each other, which i do really value and appreciate. and i also dont think i have a real issue in telling him about how i feel. i have been wondering if he’s been wanting to check up on me since i cried when he told me about my flaws. but, he hasnt asked yet so i guess it’s whatever. but then again, we also havent seen each other in a while. it’s been what, two weeks, going on three weeks now? it does feel a bit weird. but then again, even missing just one sunday left me feeling like i’d been gone for such a long time! and though i was a bit stressed at first with the cross conference meeting and meeting so many new freshmen at once, i am really glad and grateful that i got to spend time with everyone today. i didnt pay too much attention to the cross conference meeting as my attention was divided elsewhere but it sounded good for the most part! it sounds like we’ll be selling calligraphy prints, doing a bake sale, and a benefit concert! im excited to see how it all goes! then, johnathan, amanda, p. josh and i went to the college room to prepare and pray over the meeting for the day and it was really nice to just be able to spend that time with them! p josh pitched a game, i couldnt think of anything better and neither could amanda or johnathan, so we just ran with it! johnathan was full of great ideas today, tbh! he had a lot of little afterthoughts that really contributed to the success of the icebreaker today! it was a bit awkward at first but all the freshmen seem to be really close and im excited to see how many of them stay and choose to invest in the community here! oh! i also prayed for the service today pretty on the spot! p josh legit texted me on my way to church and i sheepishly agreed to it. but i was really feeling the music today and my heart feels so much lighter and happier after having gone to vision camp over the weekend with amanda! so when i got up to the front, i tried to go over everything happening today during the service but more importantly, really tried to be real and genuine with the words that i said and i think that i did. and i later asked elsa if it was a good prayer and she said it was so i guess i did pretty well! ^_^ thank you for speaking through me today, God!

Then, i debated on whether or not to go back downtown or stay in Evanston and God made a way! it seemed like Amanda would go home and i felt bad ditching her and choosing to stay in Evanston and possibly spend time with the freshmen but they ended up not coming! haha. but instead, alex cho, austin, briefly d. bang, daniel kwon, yaeji, johnny, johnathan, p. josh, amanda, christine, and esther were there! and im really only “close” with amanda, p. josh, and johnathan but i think through the icebreaker and just studying together today really brought us all closer together! i held a few conversations with christine, i talked to austin about my client work, i joked around with johnny and the others, i gave my opinion to yaeji both while we were waiting at church and while we were studying and overall, i didnt feel very scared or nervous or pressured. i was just there and enjoyed the moment and the opportunity i got to spend with them. and im glad. i do really want to grow closer in my relationship with them all this coming year. and im hoping we can start through the EC retreat this weekend! im stressed beyond belief with all my responsibilities but im also starting to feel better and more optimistic! as i was typing this, jason randomly messaged me and it was just for a test but it meant a lot to me that he would even think of me to do that. i really hope he and angela are doing okay! i cant imagine how hard this must be for him to have his significant other attending a different church when he has been placed by God at lakeview. maybe it wasnt meant to be or maybe angela just needs to grow on her own apart from us. regardless of the reason, i hope shes doing well. but i also want to give her space bc i do feel partly responsible for why she left. at the end of the day, she was just bitter towards everything but i also didnt help the fact either. but i really do hope chelsea and angela are doing okay! i think the best thing i can do now is to just pray for them and lift them up! i want to genuinely care for them and put them first before myself. i know that i’ve been incredibly selfish and prideful in the past but i really do want to do better. i really do. and only by God’s strength may i do that! 

But onto why I was so stressed out earlier. I walked back with Amanda to the train and then took that down with her for most of the ride. We got to know each other on a much deeper level and I want her to know that I will be there for her just as much as she has already been there for me! And I do really hope we can grow deeper in out relationship together. I asked her if she didnt mind sharing why she is such a people pleaser and i learned a lot about her through that! i just paid attention and listened intently and didn’t think of myself at all throughout it. i dont always need to give advice or respond. i just need to be there for her. and i was. so i did. i couldnt relate to her situation but i cared more that she could understand her thought process more than i did about sharing my own feelings. and it did really fill me with joy to do that! im glad we got to spend so much time together and can continue to spend more time together in the near future!

but anyways, she got off at monroe, which was fine, bc i was almost home anyway. BUT, i dont remember exactly where. i think around Roosevelt or maybe Sox-35th...these 4 kids got on and started acting pretty crazily. They were ripping the plastic screen protectors off the windows of the train and rolling them up. Presumably to use later but just to have fun, they started whacking each other with the pieces of plastic. and i was kinda shocked at myself for feeling somewhat paralyzed in the moment and scared. it wasnt bc they were black. it was just bc i didnt know what to do! i was afraid of how they would react or what they would do to me if i spoke up and said something! so instead, i just turned a blind eye and did my best to focus my attention elsewhere and simply look out the window! and i did almost get hit when 2 of the kids were hitting each other on opposing sides of the window and i think thats when the kid next to me noticed me. he was probably about 8 or so years old. he was definitely a child while the others were a bit older ranging from 8-16. but as i tried to politely leave, he grazed my butt with his plastic roll and from behind me, i heard him say, “haha, i touched that girl’s booty!” and i did feel a bit violated but i could chalk that up to being an accident if i really wanted to. so then i waited for my stop and it felt like the longest ride in between the two stops. but i waited and just did my best to ignore the kid and look out the window, ready to leave. to which, he definitely purposefully hit my butt again with the plastic, underneath my buttcheeks and said something along the lines of, “see ya, babe.” and i just sheepishly/nervously smiled and quickly left. and my thoughts were running pretty fast. i was in such shock and didnt think it would bother me as much as it did. i think the fact it was a kid and not an older man to which i actually really did feel helpless was nice but the fact that i was just physically sexually harassed at all surprised me. and i have been catcalled before but this was different! i felt so violated. he knew what he was doing and was proud of himself for having touched me. i felt violated. and i still do. i worry about what my first time having sex will be like if this is how i react to getting touched on the train. but anyways, i quickly told amanda and later my group chat with jordan and tykira and i was worried that they would brush it off and tell me it was no big deal. so i was pretty surprised when they were concerned for my safety and wellbeing instead. to which i responded that i was okay, just shocked. but their genuine concern meant a lot to me! i still cant really believe that happened and i had a really hard time concentrating or focusing on the lyrics of praise songs so i just prayed to God instead about how i do trust somewhere that this experience happened to me for a reason and it could have been a lot worse than it was but it wasnt. it happened and im here and i just have to accept it and move on. i dont know what was going on in that kid’s life and the best thing i can do is to just pray for him and wish him the best.

and finally, i slipped on this but the bathroom flooded at church today and idk who did it or when but i was honestly prepared to leave at first, had it not been for an ahjumma that came in and noticed the mess. and idk... something about that triggered something within me and i quickly ran to get a mop from the MPR and clean it up! it wasnt mine to clean and im sure someone else would have done it later. but for the time being, it was there and it was a mess and getting in the way of everyone’s restroom experience so i took initiative and cleaned up the mess. and honestly, a part of me hoped that p josh or yaeji or amanda or someone would see me or wonder why im taking so long and ask what i was doing. to which, i could humble brag and say i cleaned the restrooms faithfully though it was not my responsibility to do so. but no one asked or noticed my leave of absence. so i ended up just telling amanda instead and she didnt respond very enthusiastically which made me realize that i had made an error in my ways. and now im here, reporting it and reflecting upon it! 

but yeah! thats where im at now! i was about to post this but then p josh messaged me about meetups and i started talking to him and im just really so blessed to have gotten to know him so much better over the summer and i reall yam excited to work with him this coming school year! i do believe that he has grown, a lot. and i am very proud of him. thank you for blessing and placing me here, God! I know i was weary at first but i really am so much happier here than i could have ever imagined!

#reflection

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Boyfriend ran a red light and is going to court. What should he expect?

"Boyfriend ran a red light and is going to court. What should he expect?

My boyfriend ran a red light and was pulled over by an officer. I doubt he ran the red light because he drives so carefully that there's no way, so I advised him to fight it but he said no. So what can he expect when he goes to court? He is seventeen and this is his first violation. Will he get community service? How much will the fine be? What will the judge most likely do to him?

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How much is insurance for under ground pools?

How much is insurance for under ground pools?

""Insurance estimate way to low, help?""

Ok, So about 2 weeks ago I was at a friends house. When I walked out and was getting ready to get into my truck, I noticed all four windows from the passenger side and drivers side smashed out, along with my truck being keyed all around on every panel. I called my insurance company the next day and a few days later they sent someone to give an estimate. I wasn't there though. So I then received a check in the mail, along with the breakdown of the estimate. They gave me $2,600, minus my deductable left me stuck with a check for $1,600. I felt that was way to cheap for a brand new paint job and to replace my windows, so I went around and got quite a few estimates of my own. They ranged between $5,800 - $7,000. I faxed them over the estimates, and what they told me was that the way they worked was I'm supposed to show them their estimate and they are supposed to work with the shop owner from there. So today I went, and as the shop owner was reading through the estimate, he was laughing and pointing things out, saying they can't be serious. He said there is basically no shop that would do all that work for cheap. He says I might need a lawyer. Any advice guys? Because all I want is my truck fixed, and its turning into a big ordeal. I drive a 2003 Chevy Silverado just in case that matters. I also still have they check they gave me sitting my my drawer, haven't cashed it.""

Could anyone tell me a cheap reliable 125cc motobike with cheap insurance ?

Could anyone tell me a cheap reliable 125cc motobike with cheap insurance ?

Estimated car insurance premium for a Camaro/Corvette?

I am looking to buy either a 2002 Camaro (5.7L V8) or a 2000 - 2002 Corvette (5.7L V8). I am wondering how much insurance will cost me. The detailed information and questions are as below: 1. Age: 34 2. Have been driving in the States for little less than 4 years. No accident at all. Only one speeding ticket about 3 years ago. (I had been driving for 10 years in Seoul, Korea with no accident at all, but it didn't count) 3. I used to drive a 2007 Toyota Tundra (5.7L V8), which I sold a few days ago. I paid about 450 dollars/6 months for full coverage. Questions: 1. How much would it cost me if I buy either one mentioned above? (even ballpark number would be appreciated) 2. Do year and purchasing price (or resale value) affect premium? For example, buying a 2008 brand new Corvette or a 2000 used Corvette makes a difference? 3. I know it would be higher to have a sports car, but do my age and driving record affect premium? If yes, how much do they affect?""

Why is car insurance so messed up?

i just got a quote for 1200 to insure a 1.4 focus, costing 600. but i also have a quote of 1000 to insure a 2004 mazda rx8 costing 5000. how the hell do they work this rubbish out""

""If I open a bank account with USAA, will I pay less for USAA car insurance?""

I'm a college student who inherited USAA car insurance through my mom. I'm transferring to a 4-year Uni and looking for all the simplicities and money saving options available ie; overdraft protection, quick debit records, free atm anywhere, no monthly charge, online features........ pretty much everything USAA has standard. As of now I still bank with BOA, but it may be simpler and cheaper to bank with USAA... especially if they offer a price cut in monthly car insurance. Much thanks to those(asside from insurance salesmen or banking officials) with information. =)""

Open car insurance policy?

My dad is looking at buying me a 200 car to use but so far the cheapest insurance I can find is 4.5 grand. I have heard about open insurance policies and was wondering if my dad got the car and policy in his name would it work out cheaper for me to drive it like that? Also what companies do these policies and how would I go about getting one?

Where can I find an insurance company to....?

... cover all of my insurance needs? http://www.intelligentonline.co.uk/finance/insurance/insurance.htm

""I need auto insurance, I am 17?""

Ok, So I really need auto insurance, Looking to spend a good price per year for insurance, what is the cheapest insurance company??? How much do you pay per year? Thanks, I am tring to get insurance asap!!!! Thanks.. I need to drive to school and I am a senior""

If I dont pay my car insurance on time can my car get towed?

I am with country wide insurance and I am two days lare on my insurance abd I live in n ew york. Can my car get towed? What penalties will I face?

Which auto insurance company will NOT check my credit?

I saw an advertisement for one, but forget which one it is. I have pretty good credit, but I do not believe in their correlation between credit & driving skills. I also do not believe that they should penalize people with bad credit under the assumption that these people will file a false claim. These insurance companies have all the incentive to damage people's credit files so they charge more for their products. I also pay in full, so they will not be extending credit to me. Even if the policy costs more, I do not wish to reward bad behavior by doing business with the big insurance companies.""

Will my gf's car be taken away if I don't have any car insurance but I have my driver's lisence?

I am a young adult and I recently obtained my Driver's License last year on the day before Thanksgiving. After that, I have been driving my gf's car and was wondering what ...show more""

""As a 16 year old male, how much will I pay for auto insurance?""

I am a 16 year old male (and I already know what statistics show, unfortunately), soon to be 17 years old in October. I will be paying auto insurance pretty soon and I am trying to get an estimate of how much I will be paying monthly/yearly. I obtain a 3.5 GPA and reside in Dayton, Ohio. My mother will be adding me to her insurance plan and I drive a 1999 Chevy Camaro (this is the car that will be insured, and thankfully it does not have a Z28 engine). I'm not sure whether or not the insurance agency will consider this a sports car either, so I'm pretty nervous! Please help me! Thank you!""

Will I need SR 22 insurance?

Almost five years ago I got my license suspended in Ohio for a wreckless endangerment. As soon as it got suspended I did the classes I was required to take and paid my court fees. It took me a few years to pay all of my fines and the only thing keeping my license from being re-instated was the need for SR22 insurance. I never got the insurance. I'm now in California and looking to get my license back and I heard somewhere that three years after the suspension the need for the SR 22 bond drops, but I'm not sure if that's true or not? Does anyone know the laws for this situation in Ohio and will I still need to get the insurance in order to get my license unsuspended?""

What automotive insurance companies insure right-hand drive cars in Ontario?

I'm looking to get insurance on a right hand drive import (Nissan Skyline) in Ontario, Canada. Prior to January 2012 this wasn't the hardest thing to do. It's gotten increasingly difficult. Anyone know of a company that still insures these imports at a reasonable rate?""

""Young motorcycle riders, how much is your insurance?

Im wondering how much insurance will be for a 19 year old for a 08' R1...im thinking about financing one but of course you cant have it without insurance..i would like to know about other riders and their insurances...and which one would be the cheapest for me..

How much would insurance be for a 16 year old in GA?

I'm 16, I own a 2005 Chevrolet Cavalier LS Sport- 2 door, live in Athens, GA, drive less than 7,000 miles annually, drive to and from work and school 5 days a week... haha. I just want to know how much it would be monthly for car insurance on any of the companies. Any help would be appreciated. :)""

Insurance and garages?

if your buying a car from a garage will they ask for proof of insurance bought before they let u drive it away or are they not bothered? ive arranged insurance online today and am picking up car later will they let me drive off with car if i say i booked it over the phone, obviosuly i dont have any paperwork as its coming through post?""

When buying a car what detirmines how cheap insurance will be?

I am currently Looking for a new car and am trying to get the best rate for insurance as possible what features add to or detract from insurance costs thank you

Aviation Insurance Question.?

How much do universities with aviation departments spend on average to insure their entire fleet of training aircraft annually?

New driver insurance question?

Hey I just passed my theory test in the state of California. I need to start practicing driving and take my driving test. I am going to buy a car and also need insurance. Will I need a different insurance package as a learner driver? When I pass my test will I have to get a new insurance package as a license holder? I moved to CA from UK where I held a license for four years.

Boyfriend ran a red light and is going to court. What should he expect?

My boyfriend ran a red light and was pulled over by an officer. I doubt he ran the red light because he drives so carefully that there's no way, so I advised him to fight it but he said no. So what can he expect when he goes to court? He is seventeen and this is his first violation. Will he get community service? How much will the fine be? What will the judge most likely do to him?

A question about car insurance in California?

The other day I recieved a letter in the mail that said I need to go get my car insured or it could be suspended. I want to get the cheapest insurance possible (state minimum). What company has the cheapest insurance and how much can I expect to pay per month?

Will we be covered by insurance when driving to get a new car?

I have bought a new (second hand!) car and will be going to get it today. Not having changed my car before, I have a question. Just before we go to pick up the new car, we will be changing our insurance in town from our old car to the new car. If I change my insurance to the new car, how can I then drive my old car as it will be uninsured? We will need the old car to drive a few miles outside town to get the new car! Is there a special way that this has to be done so that the the old car is still temporarily covered? We will be going to get the new car immediately after sorting the insurance. Please give as much details as possible of what I have to do.""

A recommended affordable life insurance company?

Wanting to plan ahead for my family's sake in the event that something ever happened to me and was wondering if anyone can recommend a reputable and affordable life ins company. I am a 41 yr old male with a wife 36yrs and a 3 yr old son. Much appreciated,,,thanks for any input.""

""If you have insurance and someone else in your house gets a drivers license, does it make your rates go up?""

This makes no sense to me, but my boyfriend and I are getting our licenses and since we're 19 and have no driving record, our rates are going to be very high, so we were just going to put the car and the insurance in his moms name and just pay her, but she said that when we get our licenses at her address, it will make her rates go up automatically, because there are other people in the house with a drivers license? Is she just BSing me or is this true??""

Are there private health insurance industries in countries w/universal(rationed) healthcare...?

Just wondering, because I thought I would have heard about it by now if that were the case. Hope Obum will make sure HC doesn't go fully national, and makes sure a private health insurance industry affordable to the middle class always exists. What say you?""

Car Insurance for 16 Year old Boy in CA?

I am looking to buy a car, I had a list of all these cars... but then when I had a quote put on them... I was shocked. I was looking at BMW 325i, Jeep Cherokee, and Mitshubishi Montero... each costing around 2500 for full coverage. What car brand or type would have a relatively low insurance cost for my age and gender group?""

Do auto insurance brokers/agencys lie . they said ill pay 49 monthy and 134 down for insur. could this be lyin?

ya basically this auto insurance agency asked sum ? in person and compared rates and the lowest price was some company was offering $49 monthly and $134 down .. i was trying to get 40 a month and shes like there is nothing i can do .. then i was asked how can i be sure that this will be the monthly fee and they wont charge more and she said there will be no hidden fees this is what they charge . we are ligitiment insurance agency ... but i dont know i feel like the down is probly profiting them big time and i feel like the monthly payments will some how be higher than 49 monthy and she is lying about hidden fees

Would my insurance go higher if the car is leased?

If a car is bought by full price, would my auto insurance go low or high?""

Help me with me car insurance?

i am 34 years old have a new license with pass plus and recentley bought a car. what is the cheapest car insurance for me(third party) thanks

Auto insurance limits of liability ?

How high should I reasonably set my liability limits. From what I can tell my current Auto policy limits are $25k and $50k. That seems a bit low to me. My friend said he has $100k and $300k. What do you suggest. We are an average income family, and currently drive and Escalade ESV, and a G35 coupe(Nothing like living beyond your means, you only get one shot at this thing right?).""

Car Insurance Dilemma?

Hello everyone, I just purchased a new vehicle and gave the old one to my mother. She really needed a vehicle. I decided not to trade it in. The problem is that she can't afford insurance however, if I was to add her to my existing policy, she could afford it. This is the problem, she must be a resident at my house in order to be added. Would they find out if I added her? Would she have a hard time registering the car? Only knowledgeable answers please. Thanks""

Do you think everyone needs life insurance?

I am 24 years old and someone I know wants me to get life insurance from them but it is only a 20 year term policy what do you think is the propability that I will actually die in between then and now?

""If i study a childcare apprenticship, how much will i be earning a month?""

I am considering a childcare apprenticship, however i also have alot to pay out for, such as my car and insurance and rent, so i need to know how much i will earn before going ahead with this??? Does any one know?""

Do you have health insurance?

what kind of deducatable do you have?? how much per month? how old are you?

Auto insurance quotes?

What website you recommend to get instant multiple quotes for multiple cars, without agent or a representative involvement?""

Health Insurance for adults!?

My mother is 62 and has no insurance. Im being told she needs tests run and needs to be seen immediately. Is there any type of insurance that can help her?

2006 Saleen Insurance?

I might be buying a 2006 Saleen supercharged next week. I am 22 years old and female (but I turn 23 in May). I've never been in any accidents, I've only had one speeding ticket about 3 years ago, and I have a pretty good driving record, and I've already graduated from college. Any clue how much full coverage insurance will be?? or maybe what any of you may pay for a similar car?""

Cheap Health Insurance...?

I need cheap health insurance just for seeing my gyn and the eye doctor twice a year or so. I had medicaid as a child *until this past bday in december (i got an extension)* i don't make much since i work fast food right now..and i'm in school...

Car insurance car change?

I am struggling to pay my insurance so if I change my insurance to a cheaper car smaller engine will my insurance go down a month, and would I keep the same policy to get my nyc bonus as I'm half way through, and does anyone one in how much to change your car details to another car with admiral or cancel your insurance price with admiral""

What do i need to have insurance..!?answer please..!!?

so i know that if we do insurance,we will get amount for the thing when the insured thing is damaged..!! but what is the used of this??we have to pay premium every now and then and we will be get paid at the end?right??or will the insurance company provide any extra money other than the interest on our money?? and isn't it better to invest on some other thing and get profit and use when our things are damaged?? health insurance is ok,i accept that in urgent cases we cant bring back our invested money in a while ,so we do that,but what about vehicle insurance?why do we need that? and if to avoid paying tax,insurace is opted??and for that thing,i think there are other sources too? but whatever why people go for insurance..that what i wanted to know? and also..for example,if i have an insurance for my bike and its not met with an accident till now..and if i die and i have no family and relatives to claim..where will the policy go?? and if i do health insurance and if i die,i think the money will be given to my children or whoever i mentioned..!!..so i cant enjoy the money i earned..!! huhh....lot of questions..please take some time to answer..!! thanks in advance..:):)""

""Im looking or an affordable health insurance, please help?""

hello, I need to see a doctor as soon as possible but i don't have insurance. anyone know any good affordable health insurance. thank you in advance""

About how much would the minimum amount insurance cost a typical rider to drive a motorcycle?

About how much would the minimum amount insurance cost a typical rider to drive a motorcycle?

Cheap motorbikes to insure?

19 just passed my bike test wat a get a big bike and insure it with restriction 33 bhp. im looking at the GPZ 500 S , but there all far away , insurance for third party is 496. a year. Any one know any 250-750cc engine motorbikes that are cheap around 500-1000, and are chear to insure, i wanted the kawasaki ninja 250, but 2008 year is 1750 and the insurance is over 750. a year. to dear for me, so any idea's please let me know! thanks.""

Can you get a discount on motorcycle insurance if is has an alarm system?

I just go a 2009 zx6r and I was wondering if ICBC gives you a discount if it has a full alarm system and immobilizer? I live in vancouver BC canada thanks

Health insurance for full time college student?

I realllyy need to see a doctor about some issues im having with my health, but the onlyproblem is i dont have insurance... Are there any affordable insurance plans i can get??.. im a full time student and i really need it.""

Boyfriend ran a red light and is going to court. What should he expect?

My boyfriend ran a red light and was pulled over by an officer. I doubt he ran the red light because he drives so carefully that there's no way, so I advised him to fight it but he said no. So what can he expect when he goes to court? He is seventeen and this is his first violation. Will he get community service? How much will the fine be? What will the judge most likely do to him?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/affordable-health-care-insurance-pa-gregory-gordon/"

[apsbicepstraining]

Andy Murray too good for Juan Martin del Potro in fine French Open battle

Andy Murray had to excavate late to win the first two adjusts before running out a 7-6, 7-5, 6-0 win against Argentinas Juan Martn del Potro

Andy Murray experiences few ordeals more than proving people wrong and so the most tenacious gentleman in tennis goes into the second week of the French Open for the eighth time in 10 inspects with a echoing endorsement from the rival he trounced to get there, Juan Martn del Potro.

There were plenty of parties at the start of the week who horror the Scots form and fitness are currently in such a low ebb he had no chance of reaching the final for a second year in a row, and decreased prospects of going past the quarter-finals. He is not quite there yet, but he is in the fourth round again, and deservedly so after beating the occasionally inspired Argentinian by the misleading rating of 7-6( 10 -8 ), 7-5, 6-0 in precisely under 3 hour on a mild and agreeable afternoon on Court Philippe Chatrier , not long before the rainwater arrived.

Del Potro, becoming his first appearance here in five years old after the most wretched meter with hurt, said of their 10 th meeting, and exclusively the second to finish in straight organizes: It was another good battle. The first two starts[ took] two hours and a half, actually long sets.

Andy, hes very smart on courtroom. He has all the films, but also is great mentally. Thats why hes No1 in the world and I know how important this tournament is for him. I bid him all the best and, hopefully, he can go far.

A few players on the Tour would not annoyance with such compliments. But Del Potro is a man apart, encouraging sincere excitement in the crowd as he campaigned with tigerish intent to draw best available out of Murray. Del Potro should have won the first move but a scald forehand in the tie-break was out by so tiny a margin that the chair umpire conferred with the line judge before awarding the degree and set to Murray.

The second chassis was just as intense but Murray gradually got the upper hand over Del Potro, who was supposed to take drugs for a groin strain he picked up in his coincide against Nicols Almagro two days before. He did not exploit that as an excuse and told you he played sting free, but it was clear he was not moving as well as he might have wished.

Partly that was down to what he identified as Murrays court intelligence. There were so many artful exchanges between these two fabulou actors that it was difficult to picking when the win kill would arrive. Murray concentrated on impeding as numerous dances away from his resists lethal forehand as he could, then, having peppered him on the other side, employed the open court to tease him with drop shots.

Del Potro was just surprised by the strategy and, when not slicing backhand returns to keep the phase going, ran around those fires to unleash his forehand. He struck 16 clean winners with the fire, but only one in the final situate, which came and travelled in 28 hours. Fighting to the end, however, he made Murray save three break-dance items before completing the bagel.

Murray was in understandably good spirits although little has unsettled his feeling for some time, prevail or forget. The self-absorption of his youth is long gone, even if there is the odd on-court explosion still. He said after got a couple of such outbursts in his second pair, against Martin Klizan on Thursday, that he sometimes conflicts to contain those emotions.

Perhaps it is no bad situation, though. If he were to go totally against his true nature he might generate confusion that would further erode the commonwealth of his recreation leader. He had it on here, with simply a fleeting cus or admonishment for his container, where Ivan Lendl sat in his customary position of expressionless concentration.

By the standards of a year ago, when he propelled the most extraordinary assault on Novak Djokovics No 1 macrocosm grading around this time, he has under-performed. He arrived here having lost early in tournaments to excellent but lower-rated rivals in Dominic Thiem( Barcelona ), Albert Ramos Violas( Monte Carlo ), Borna Coric( Madrid ) and the dangerous and unpredictable Fabio Fognini( Rome ).

Del Potro seems dejected at the net after the notes that cost him the first situated. Image: Christophe Ena/ AP

But Murrays clay game is improving by the coincide. He agreed that this might have been his best 2017 testifying. I played some good parallels beginning of the year, he said, but emphatically, in the clay courtroom season, those second and third defines were the best I have played, for sure.

He might have paid scant attention to the pessimists, but his climate is hoisted. He is ready to raise his height another notch, as all the really good participates do when it matters. He expects to get better, because he has done it so many times before.

Last year here, he reached the final after coming close to suffer in his first two accords, each of which went to five primeds. This time, he took four locateds to overcome Andrey Kuznetsov and Klizan before affecting an foreboding trounce against Del Potro.

To be playing him this early on in the smash is not easy, but it can be a very positive happening, Murray said. You play person that good, perhaps youre a little more switched on. Your focus is maybe a little bit higher.

There was one moment of minor discomfort when he was asked why he was shushing himself.

He arced his eyebrows and responded, I dont know who you are I was doing it. Why does it stuff? Whats the big cheese? I dont get it. If I say something and you guys ask me what I was saying, if I say nothing, “youre asking me” why I dont say anything. What do you want me to do? What do you are willing to to say? Its irrelevant. Whats relevant is what happens during the points.

Hes not wrong.

Kyle Edmund falls short but glad with progress

The last-place experience two British participates drew it to the fourth round of the French Open, the Beatles were No1 in the charts and Harold Macmillan was serving out his closing months in ten Downing Street. Kyle Edmund, 22, might not have listened to From Me to You or know who Supermac was, but the 22 -year-old with the booming forehand would dearly have loved to equal that 1963 achievement alongside Andy Murray at this tournament.

For long elongates of his third-round equal against Kevin Anderson, Edmund looked like being part of a little bit of tennis history, but he found the resilience of the towering, strong South African too much after practically four hours of grinding tennis on the compact Court 2.

Anderson, seven situates behind Edmund in the world standings at 56, outlasted him to triumph 6-7( 6-8 ), 7-6( 7-4 ), 5-7, 6-1, 6-4 and book a neighbourhood in the last 16 against the former US Open champion Marin Cilic, who did short work of the Spaniard Feliciano Lpez, to triumph 6-1, 6-3, 6-3.

Edmund was simultaneously disappointed and satisfied, pointing out that another five-setter was a helpful part of his tennis education, especially as he hold back well physically. Now, he says, he is looking forward to Wimbledon, with preparation at Queens and Eastbourne defying the suggestion that it was a surface on which he did not detect comfortable.

I dont fairly remember me ever saying that I dont like grass, he said in his ultra-polite practice. I exactly experience playing on clay and hard much more. Well, I play on them a lot more. So I have more hour on them.

There was little in this match for nearly three hours, as they sold big cheese from behind or near the baseline. Each of them loaded up with full-force groundstrokes, averaging only three shots a rallying until near the end of the equal. As Edmund said after his quick-fire win over Renzo Olivo in the second round: Theres not much place having artilleries if you dont use them.

Jim Courier said after that performance that Edmund given the opportunity to be a top-1 0 player. Apart from a plunge during the fourth set on Saturday, he examined worthy of the assessment.

Anderson came to life down the extend to apply the pressure back on Britains No2, although shatters were hard to come by for each of them. Edmund harboured from love-4 0 for 3-3 in the fifth but had not been able sustain his stage all the way to the end.

The post Andy Murray too good for Juan Martin del Potro in fine French Open battle appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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[jess-oh]

Reflection

hey journal!

i had an off day today. i woke up early, showered, cut and prepared my lunch for the day, packed grapes to snack on, and was overall in a pretty good mood. i even stayed awake for the entire train ride up north and while i did run into the homeless guy again, he didnt recognize me this time. phew. but i started it off well! i did! but then i preceeded to feel very overwhelmed and I can’t tell if im just being lazy or if today was honestly an off day or what. i think it’s bc i do have a tendency to work fast in general but bc of that, i usually have a lot of free time and a lot of time for a break but today, i didnt feel like i had a break. it was just one thing after the other and all so fast! And I’ve been getting more “fire drill” requests recently where clients need something ASAP. Which haven’t been too hard. It’s just a lot to take care of I guess. And it could just be that it’s a busy season right now. But it was just today and I do feel like tomorrow will be better. I just need to come up with a few different drafts for the one pager and the company map. I’m thinking of looking into flow charts? Or an organizational map? Or maybe it’s a chart? Anyway, I did one for ITM that came out pretty nice so maybe I’ll mimic the style. I think I’m just having such a hard time bc I don’t exactly know what they want whereas my work for the clients have been pretty straightforward. 

Sometimes I wonder if I’m too “perfect” and because of that, I lack a personality.

I didn’t actually tell anyone the above thought bc I thought it’d just come off as cocky but it was an actual concern! but I don’t think it’s true, haha. I’m passionate, loyal, determined, and hardworking. I’m not as goal-oriented as I used to be and I’m a lot more open to mistakes bc I know it’s not the end of the world. I’ve been able to overcome my fear of failure and it’s been immensely helpful. Although sometimes, I do still wonder if I’m not putting my best foot forward because I’m not a perfectionist anymore and worry if I should revert to those old habits. But I was so unhappy then and I’ve been able to do a lot more now without making every draft a “perfect” draft. 

I didn’t realize the people in my class from Sa-Rang went on their road trip recently and it looks like they had a good time and I was actually not at all worried about missing out. In fact, I think if I went, it would’ve just been awkward. I’m glad theyre having a good time. I just don’t think my personality fits in with them. Everyone is so competitive and I’ve tried to play those games before and I feel like if I called them out on it, they’d just chalk it off to me overreacting and they just dont trust me bc of the game and not bc of the past. But I feel like it would be bc of the past. I just wish they’d give me a chance. I actually feel like a real, decent, valid human being with my D&D friends and co-workers and peers out here. And with them. I always felt like I tried to speak up but they would ignore me. I was a voice always unheard and it made me feel invisible and like less of a person. And it felt like a norm so whenever people did acknowledge my existence, I was so touched. So touched to know that at least someone could see me. But how sad is that? I know who I am and I know the good that I have done and I know my place in God’s Kingdom. But whenever I’m with them, everything just falls apart and I question my identity and I just really don’t want to go back and face that again. I only have a month left before I have to. I want to make the most of my time here so that I’m not so afraid when I go back there. I do need to stand my ground with them and I know that I shouldn’t be this afraid to go back to my home church but I am just so afraid of how they’d react and judge me bc they’re the people I call “home.” And if that falls apart, then what. I do have Lakeview here and I’m glad but it’s still a work in progress for sure. I also want to make sure I’m doing things to help and invest into others because I genuinely care for them and not so that they’ll be grateful and thankful towards me later. I do want to genuinely serve them. I do. And I know that I can get into my own head a lot but I do want to really care for them on a deeper level. I also worry that whenever I reach out to guys, they think I’m asking them out on a date but I’m not. I actually just perceive them as I perceive girls—as hurting people and I want to be there to help them through it. 

I have “Jessie’s Girl” stuck in my head and as catchy as it is, it’s distracting my writings.

I’m really excited to sing karaoke with my friends on Friday and I just belt out my horrible horrible voice. I am totally prepared to lose my voice, HAHA. 

I’m just really conflicted, I guess.

On the one hand, I do really want to go home and just be home and not have to worry about anything but to just be in the presence of my parents and sister and to have the opportunity to go out on more late night adventures with Andrew, Aurora, and David. Those are always fun! And admittedly, forcing hangouts with Jeanne, Grace An, Tina and David Kang were always kind of awkward and I shouldn’t force these things. If people want to hangout with me then they can hit me up. But I’m only in town for so long and I would much rather spend time with people who actually genuinely care about me. 

I’ve also been so busy with my internship and havent had time to work on my coding skills :( And I want to start designing my D&D character too! Maybe I’ll start sketching on the train tomorrow or something. 

I need to do my dishes and practice my VBS dance moves too! Hopefully Saturday? :/ I want to be prepared and ready to teach 2 more dances that I’m confident in on Sunday! And then...I’m not sure what we’ll do for the rest of the time. Maybe we can all work together on the fifth dance and just keep practicing every Sunday. I do need to make sure they can confidently dance on their own without watching me. I’m worried about one of the bigger girls because she is me. She’s not bad at dancing. She’s just not confident in her skills and I want to make sure she knows that she is seen. She is real. And valid. And so important and perfect in God’s eyes. I know I was pretty nervous last Sunday but I do want to really pray for them and be a sort of mentor figure for them. We just started training and I already love all of them so much. It was also pretty disheartening when I asked for fun facts about them and they just resorted to being a PK, as if that’s all they’re good for when in reality, they are so much more than that. I can understand why and how I got and get left out a lot more now. I’m that bigger girl bc she wasnt as enthusiastic or excited. She was just shy and quiet. And I feel like there have been moments when I’ve been really enthusiastic but no one else agreed with me and I ended up just being the odd one out and felt like such an outsider and like I didn’t belong. :/ I want to really do my best and try my hardest. I do.

I’m also worried that by the time I come back during August, I won’t have grown that much and nothing will feel like it’s changed. I’m just trying to prepare and think as much as I can until then. I almost don’t want to go home at all. I’m so scared that what awaits me is just me feeling like I don’t belong. At first I was sad that I’ll only be home for a few weeks but now I’m thinking that’s all I can handle. I am so afraid that I won’t have grown or learned enough. So much happened this past year that it feels like nothing happened at all. I struggled with alcoholism, depression, anxiety, I lost Marlena and Jakob, I made new friends like Sara and Evelyn too. I had trouble coming to terms with my dad’s mom’s death, my mom’s dad’s death, my whole family dying and everything we own being burned to a crisp. All of my family members and friends getting seriously injured and everything they know and love being destroyed in a great blaze. And hardest of all, I had to come to terms with the very real reality of Robbin passing away and honestly, I still can’t fully believe it. I think once I see his grave again, I’ll actually begin to fully accept it. I really still can’t believe that happened and that’s definitely been the most impactful part of this past year. I knew that this year would be tough but I thought in terms of persecution and that’s something I overcame. I didn’t care about how others would judge me at church or on the streets anymore because I know who I am in God’s eyes. Or at least I’m trying to learn my worth in them. But this? This was on a whole different level. I went home in February for the weekend to attend Robbin’s funeral. I know it was so expensive but it was so worth it be there. It was much needed closure. I remember seeing my dad cry on our way from the airport to his mom’s place. We were both so upset, knowing what a great person Robbin was and how short his life was. He was ten years older than me when he passed away. It’s been over five months, nearly six, since he had a heart attack and I just. Sigh. I really miss you Robbin and I am so sorry that I didn’t do more for you while you were still here. I know it wasn’t my fault but I still can’t help but feel partly responsible and wonder if anything would have changed had I said something. I know what depression feels like and it sucks and I could’ve been there for him but I wasn’t. 

But anyways,

I’m here now and I am doing good. I know I am. I am happy that I can. I need to stop procrastinating and be more pro-active and get everything done sooner so that I have more time to relax and not have to worry about things to do the next day. I don’t even feel like typing anymore but I’m not tired either. I might just watch videos because might as well. I’m really not in the mood to shower or was dishes. At least tomorrow is my last day for the week! Woo! I could just take care of those things tomorrow, I suppose. Sigh. I know I shouldn’t be lazy and I definitely have the means and ability to get up and do these things and just get it over with my but I’m really not in the mood. I just want to lay on the floor and cry and wallow in my sorrow. Sigh. 

On a brighter note, I saw the Incredible 2 yesterday with Tykira and Jordan and it was so good! I predicted the plot pretty early on so I was worried that that would be the whole movie so I was pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t! C:

I read some old posts in the Guat Squad group the other day while looking for old VBS dance moves and I told Judy that I missed everyone. But honestly, I don’t know if I do. I posted so many times and was so excited to post about reminders and I honestly did trust them and have a good time but not everyone, I guess. Even on the mission field, I was a lot more comfortable talking to Judy, Grace, and Gladys than anyone else on the team. There were moments during training where they did acknowledge me and I felt accepted and like I belonged but for the majority of the time, I don’t think I actually really got along with them. I need to stop trying so hard to fit in and just saying what everyone else is saying and speak the truth instead. It might be “not the right move” but it’s much better to be me and honest than to spend so long trying so hard to fit into a group that will never accept me anyway. I think this is a new goal that I should be working towards. Using my observations to just be blunt and straightforward and honest. I think I’ve been doing a pretty good job doing that with my family and P. Josh so far. I just can’t be afraid to be honest to those around my age either. 

I also need to stop judging people for being wealthy and well off. And also for complaining or being greedy or doing a better job at fitting in than I do. I’ve been really frustrated towards Jane recently bc I feel like she just complains all the time and tries so hard to fit in and it annoys me so much bc I try to fit in too. So why does it work for her but not for me? And maybe it’s because I’m fat or not as pretty. Maybe it’s because of what happened in the past. But regardless, I am here. And I want to be unapologetically me. 

#reflection

[apsbicepstraining]

Andy Murray too good for Juan Martin del Potro in fine French Open battle

Andy Murray had to excavate late to win the first two adjusts before running out a 7-6, 7-5, 6-0 win against Argentinas Juan Martn del Potro

Andy Murray experiences few ordeals more than proving people wrong and so the most tenacious gentleman in tennis goes into the second week of the French Open for the eighth time in 10 inspects with a echoing endorsement from the rival he trounced to get there, Juan Martn del Potro.

There were plenty of parties at the start of the week who horror the Scots form and fitness are currently in such a low ebb he had no chance of reaching the final for a second year in a row, and decreased prospects of going past the quarter-finals. He is not quite there yet, but he is in the fourth round again, and deservedly so after beating the occasionally inspired Argentinian by the misleading rating of 7-6( 10 -8 ), 7-5, 6-0 in precisely under 3 hour on a mild and agreeable afternoon on Court Philippe Chatrier , not long before the rainwater arrived.

Del Potro, becoming his first appearance here in five years old after the most wretched meter with hurt, said of their 10 th meeting, and exclusively the second to finish in straight organizes: It was another good battle. The first two starts[ took] two hours and a half, actually long sets.

Andy, hes very smart on courtroom. He has all the films, but also is great mentally. Thats why hes No1 in the world and I know how important this tournament is for him. I bid him all the best and, hopefully, he can go far.

A few players on the Tour would not annoyance with such compliments. But Del Potro is a man apart, encouraging sincere excitement in the crowd as he campaigned with tigerish intent to draw best available out of Murray. Del Potro should have won the first move but a scald forehand in the tie-break was out by so tiny a margin that the chair umpire conferred with the line judge before awarding the degree and set to Murray.

The second chassis was just as intense but Murray gradually got the upper hand over Del Potro, who was supposed to take drugs for a groin strain he picked up in his coincide against Nicols Almagro two days before. He did not exploit that as an excuse and told you he played sting free, but it was clear he was not moving as well as he might have wished.

Partly that was down to what he identified as Murrays court intelligence. There were so many artful exchanges between these two fabulou actors that it was difficult to picking when the win kill would arrive. Murray concentrated on impeding as numerous dances away from his resists lethal forehand as he could, then, having peppered him on the other side, employed the open court to tease him with drop shots.

Del Potro was just surprised by the strategy and, when not slicing backhand returns to keep the phase going, ran around those fires to unleash his forehand. He struck 16 clean winners with the fire, but only one in the final situate, which came and travelled in 28 hours. Fighting to the end, however, he made Murray save three break-dance items before completing the bagel.

Murray was in understandably good spirits although little has unsettled his feeling for some time, prevail or forget. The self-absorption of his youth is long gone, even if there is the odd on-court explosion still. He said after got a couple of such outbursts in his second pair, against Martin Klizan on Thursday, that he sometimes conflicts to contain those emotions.

Perhaps it is no bad situation, though. If he were to go totally against his true nature he might generate confusion that would further erode the commonwealth of his recreation leader. He had it on here, with simply a fleeting cus or admonishment for his container, where Ivan Lendl sat in his customary position of expressionless concentration.

By the standards of a year ago, when he propelled the most extraordinary assault on Novak Djokovics No 1 macrocosm grading around this time, he has under-performed. He arrived here having lost early in tournaments to excellent but lower-rated rivals in Dominic Thiem( Barcelona ), Albert Ramos Violas( Monte Carlo ), Borna Coric( Madrid ) and the dangerous and unpredictable Fabio Fognini( Rome ).

Del Potro seems dejected at the net after the notes that cost him the first situated. Image: Christophe Ena/ AP

But Murrays clay game is improving by the coincide. He agreed that this might have been his best 2017 testifying. I played some good parallels beginning of the year, he said, but emphatically, in the clay courtroom season, those second and third defines were the best I have played, for sure.

He might have paid scant attention to the pessimists, but his climate is hoisted. He is ready to raise his height another notch, as all the really good participates do when it matters. He expects to get better, because he has done it so many times before.

Last year here, he reached the final after coming close to suffer in his first two accords, each of which went to five primeds. This time, he took four locateds to overcome Andrey Kuznetsov and Klizan before affecting an foreboding trounce against Del Potro.

To be playing him this early on in the smash is not easy, but it can be a very positive happening, Murray said. You play person that good, perhaps youre a little more switched on. Your focus is maybe a little bit higher.

There was one moment of minor discomfort when he was asked why he was shushing himself.

He arced his eyebrows and responded, I dont know who you are I was doing it. Why does it stuff? Whats the big cheese? I dont get it. If I say something and you guys ask me what I was saying, if I say nothing, “youre asking me” why I dont say anything. What do you want me to do? What do you are willing to to say? Its irrelevant. Whats relevant is what happens during the points.

Hes not wrong.

Kyle Edmund falls short but glad with progress

The last-place experience two British participates drew it to the fourth round of the French Open, the Beatles were No1 in the charts and Harold Macmillan was serving out his closing months in ten Downing Street. Kyle Edmund, 22, might not have listened to From Me to You or know who Supermac was, but the 22 -year-old with the booming forehand would dearly have loved to equal that 1963 achievement alongside Andy Murray at this tournament.

For long elongates of his third-round equal against Kevin Anderson, Edmund looked like being part of a little bit of tennis history, but he found the resilience of the towering, strong South African too much after practically four hours of grinding tennis on the compact Court 2.

Anderson, seven situates behind Edmund in the world standings at 56, outlasted him to triumph 6-7( 6-8 ), 7-6( 7-4 ), 5-7, 6-1, 6-4 and book a neighbourhood in the last 16 against the former US Open champion Marin Cilic, who did short work of the Spaniard Feliciano Lpez, to triumph 6-1, 6-3, 6-3.

Edmund was simultaneously disappointed and satisfied, pointing out that another five-setter was a helpful part of his tennis education, especially as he hold back well physically. Now, he says, he is looking forward to Wimbledon, with preparation at Queens and Eastbourne defying the suggestion that it was a surface on which he did not detect comfortable.

I dont fairly remember me ever saying that I dont like grass, he said in his ultra-polite practice. I exactly experience playing on clay and hard much more. Well, I play on them a lot more. So I have more hour on them.

There was little in this match for nearly three hours, as they sold big cheese from behind or near the baseline. Each of them loaded up with full-force groundstrokes, averaging only three shots a rallying until near the end of the equal. As Edmund said after his quick-fire win over Renzo Olivo in the second round: Theres not much place having artilleries if you dont use them.

Jim Courier said after that performance that Edmund given the opportunity to be a top-1 0 player. Apart from a plunge during the fourth set on Saturday, he examined worthy of the assessment.

Anderson came to life down the extend to apply the pressure back on Britains No2, although shatters were hard to come by for each of them. Edmund harboured from love-4 0 for 3-3 in the fifth but had not been able sustain his stage all the way to the end.

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Andy Murray too good for Juan Martin del Potro in fine French Open battle

Andy Murray had to excavate late to win the first two adjusts before running out a 7-6, 7-5, 6-0 win against Argentinas Juan Martn del Potro

Andy Murray experiences few ordeals more than proving people wrong and so the most tenacious gentleman in tennis goes into the second week of the French Open for the eighth time in 10 inspects with a echoing endorsement from the rival he trounced to get there, Juan Martn del Potro.

There were plenty of parties at the start of the week who horror the Scots form and fitness are currently in such a low ebb he had no chance of reaching the final for a second year in a row, and decreased prospects of going past the quarter-finals. He is not quite there yet, but he is in the fourth round again, and deservedly so after beating the occasionally inspired Argentinian by the misleading rating of 7-6( 10 -8 ), 7-5, 6-0 in precisely under 3 hour on a mild and agreeable afternoon on Court Philippe Chatrier , not long before the rainwater arrived.

Del Potro, becoming his first appearance here in five years old after the most wretched meter with hurt, said of their 10 th meeting, and exclusively the second to finish in straight organizes: It was another good battle. The first two starts[ took] two hours and a half, actually long sets.

Andy, hes very smart on courtroom. He has all the films, but also is great mentally. Thats why hes No1 in the world and I know how important this tournament is for him. I bid him all the best and, hopefully, he can go far.

A few players on the Tour would not annoyance with such compliments. But Del Potro is a man apart, encouraging sincere excitement in the crowd as he campaigned with tigerish intent to draw best available out of Murray. Del Potro should have won the first move but a scald forehand in the tie-break was out by so tiny a margin that the chair umpire conferred with the line judge before awarding the degree and set to Murray.

The second chassis was just as intense but Murray gradually got the upper hand over Del Potro, who was supposed to take drugs for a groin strain he picked up in his coincide against Nicols Almagro two days before. He did not exploit that as an excuse and told you he played sting free, but it was clear he was not moving as well as he might have wished.

Partly that was down to what he identified as Murrays court intelligence. There were so many artful exchanges between these two fabulou actors that it was difficult to picking when the win kill would arrive. Murray concentrated on impeding as numerous dances away from his resists lethal forehand as he could, then, having peppered him on the other side, employed the open court to tease him with drop shots.

Del Potro was just surprised by the strategy and, when not slicing backhand returns to keep the phase going, ran around those fires to unleash his forehand. He struck 16 clean winners with the fire, but only one in the final situate, which came and travelled in 28 hours. Fighting to the end, however, he made Murray save three break-dance items before completing the bagel.

Murray was in understandably good spirits although little has unsettled his feeling for some time, prevail or forget. The self-absorption of his youth is long gone, even if there is the odd on-court explosion still. He said after got a couple of such outbursts in his second pair, against Martin Klizan on Thursday, that he sometimes conflicts to contain those emotions.

Perhaps it is no bad situation, though. If he were to go totally against his true nature he might generate confusion that would further erode the commonwealth of his recreation leader. He had it on here, with simply a fleeting cus or admonishment for his container, where Ivan Lendl sat in his customary position of expressionless concentration.

By the standards of a year ago, when he propelled the most extraordinary assault on Novak Djokovics No 1 macrocosm grading around this time, he has under-performed. He arrived here having lost early in tournaments to excellent but lower-rated rivals in Dominic Thiem( Barcelona ), Albert Ramos Violas( Monte Carlo ), Borna Coric( Madrid ) and the dangerous and unpredictable Fabio Fognini( Rome ).

Del Potro seems dejected at the net after the notes that cost him the first situated. Image: Christophe Ena/ AP

But Murrays clay game is improving by the coincide. He agreed that this might have been his best 2017 testifying. I played some good parallels beginning of the year, he said, but emphatically, in the clay courtroom season, those second and third defines were the best I have played, for sure.

He might have paid scant attention to the pessimists, but his climate is hoisted. He is ready to raise his height another notch, as all the really good participates do when it matters. He expects to get better, because he has done it so many times before.

Last year here, he reached the final after coming close to suffer in his first two accords, each of which went to five primeds. This time, he took four locateds to overcome Andrey Kuznetsov and Klizan before affecting an foreboding trounce against Del Potro.

To be playing him this early on in the smash is not easy, but it can be a very positive happening, Murray said. You play person that good, perhaps youre a little more switched on. Your focus is maybe a little bit higher.

There was one moment of minor discomfort when he was asked why he was shushing himself.

He arced his eyebrows and responded, I dont know who you are I was doing it. Why does it stuff? Whats the big cheese? I dont get it. If I say something and you guys ask me what I was saying, if I say nothing, “youre asking me” why I dont say anything. What do you want me to do? What do you are willing to to say? Its irrelevant. Whats relevant is what happens during the points.

Hes not wrong.

Kyle Edmund falls short but glad with progress

The last-place experience two British participates drew it to the fourth round of the French Open, the Beatles were No1 in the charts and Harold Macmillan was serving out his closing months in ten Downing Street. Kyle Edmund, 22, might not have listened to From Me to You or know who Supermac was, but the 22 -year-old with the booming forehand would dearly have loved to equal that 1963 achievement alongside Andy Murray at this tournament.

For long elongates of his third-round equal against Kevin Anderson, Edmund looked like being part of a little bit of tennis history, but he found the resilience of the towering, strong South African too much after practically four hours of grinding tennis on the compact Court 2.

Anderson, seven situates behind Edmund in the world standings at 56, outlasted him to triumph 6-7( 6-8 ), 7-6( 7-4 ), 5-7, 6-1, 6-4 and book a neighbourhood in the last 16 against the former US Open champion Marin Cilic, who did short work of the Spaniard Feliciano Lpez, to triumph 6-1, 6-3, 6-3.

Edmund was simultaneously disappointed and satisfied, pointing out that another five-setter was a helpful part of his tennis education, especially as he hold back well physically. Now, he says, he is looking forward to Wimbledon, with preparation at Queens and Eastbourne defying the suggestion that it was a surface on which he did not detect comfortable.

I dont fairly remember me ever saying that I dont like grass, he said in his ultra-polite practice. I exactly experience playing on clay and hard much more. Well, I play on them a lot more. So I have more hour on them.

There was little in this match for nearly three hours, as they sold big cheese from behind or near the baseline. Each of them loaded up with full-force groundstrokes, averaging only three shots a rallying until near the end of the equal. As Edmund said after his quick-fire win over Renzo Olivo in the second round: Theres not much place having artilleries if you dont use them.

Jim Courier said after that performance that Edmund given the opportunity to be a top-1 0 player. Apart from a plunge during the fourth set on Saturday, he examined worthy of the assessment.

Anderson came to life down the extend to apply the pressure back on Britains No2, although shatters were hard to come by for each of them. Edmund harboured from love-4 0 for 3-3 in the fifth but had not been able sustain his stage all the way to the end.

The post Andy Murray too good for Juan Martin del Potro in fine French Open battle appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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